I think the last time I hid behind a couch
I was about 8 years old.
For me it was last week.
Beth, you're still an eight-year-old.
I heard a noise.
-Who's groping me? -I thought you were Beth.
Guys, what was that?
Nothing, just a condom that blew up.
Guys, will you stop making noise?
His car is coming into the garage.
Laura, he's going to be pissed off
that you copied his house keys.
This is me, Laura, a special woman
Like all the others wanting a place of my own.
See my radiant glow.
It's Claudio's birthday, my boyfriend
for the last 7 years, father of my future children.
Guys, talk to her.
Here I am, a year after Claudio.
Everybody thinks I am doing just fine.
Everybody but me.
No wonder, it's been a year of total drought.
I'm getting desperate.
Aside from this small detail,
I am a very competent professional.
Did you forget about our meeting?
-Let's go. -My God.
Why can't women ever be on time?
Sorry, I was doing some research
on the latest world trends.
Like what color lipstick to use in the summer?
Well, then, let's start. I want to know how
the internet page for Total.com is coming along.
It's about ready, the client may put it on-line next week.
I also touched up the layout for Ernesto's book,
two more options for the Mari FM CD cover,
and I have also started the sketches for our new logo.
You have too much time on your hands.
You've got to find something more interesting to occupy you.
Laura, I just got this book. It was written for you.
"Women searching for someone". . .
Who said I was searching for someone?
Thiago, you are terrible.
I didn't hear any complaints from you.
Thiago Carvalho, he joined the agency 3 months ago
and this really improved our productivity.
All the ladies took Advantage of it.
Let's put it this way, he is a desirable guy
for most of the lost sheep of this world.
Personally, I couldn't care less about his well-defined body,
this raw male look, willing available,
Like a freshly baked loaf of bread.
But I know the wolf hiding behind his Armani skin.
He pretends to be a lost puppy when he's preparing for the kill.
We need this cover yesterday. Do you have time?
It's so great that you could get away from the office.
I haven't been out to lunch in two months!
While we're on the subject, could you find Tulio a job?
He's been unemployed for a long time.
Soon I'll have to give him an allowance.
Sorry, but we're cutting down on staff.
Even my boss was canned.
Of course, you do everything for half his salary.
Enough shop talk.
Let's talk about you, about life, about men.
-Well. . . -Hold it. Hello.
The meeting's been rescheduled. Thank God.
The presentation isn't ready.
All right, I'll pick up Hiroshi.
I'll be there in 1 0 minutes.
I gotta go.
Call me, kisses, kisses.
I'm going to Tom Bar tonight. They say it's a hot spot.
I already ditched Tulio.
Hopping from bar to bar,
Looking for Prince Charming, who never shows up.
-Want to go with me? -Yes, I mean. . .
Ditched Tulio? Weren't you dating?
Just on rainy nights or holidays alone.
That's pathetic. Being with someone just to have company.
Can't you be on your own?
At least I have a choice.
What's this? Working late?
Wait, I've got to get my camera for
this historical moment.
And be thrown out of the Bimbo Society?
We are forbidden to engage in work activities after 6 p.m.
What are you doing with your computer on?
-Playing solitaire? -I'm chatting with a guy.
See this? It's McGyver,
my virtual boyfriend.
Laura, McGyver. McGyver, Laura.
Are you really trying to find love on the internet?
If I were really desperate for somebody
I think I would try something like that.
What is it? A dating agency?
They still exist?
There's no shortage of needy people.
Thank God, my days of desperation are over.
Now I just go with the flow.
Pardon me, McGyver is calling me.
A dating agency.
Who would have the nerve to call one these days?
Laura, what are you doing tonight?
I'm going to meet the girls at the Tom Bar.
If you don't hunt, you don't eat, darling.
Paula already invited me,
but I'm tired of going to these meat markets.
Same old pickup lines. If nothing better comes up, I'll go.
All right, bye-bye.
-Nothing better came up? -Where's Tereza?
Without her our little team is incomplete.
The Japanese arrived, she took them on a tour.
They must be at the steak house
taking pictures of the meat.
Good. One less to contend with.
And I'm warning you. . . those Argentineans
Those Argentineans are so fine.
Clean cut, custom tailored suits. They look European.
Those are real men, unlike the Brazilian offering.
They know how to talk to a woman.
One of them is coming now. . . to "talk" to you.
-Hey, baby. -Hey.
Want to go for a ride?
Show me the tourist spots in town.
I bet there is a lot to see.
Get out or I'll rip your little balls off.
Nice work! You took care of him.
My boyfriend. Oh, no, not today.
At least you have one.
Where is he?
-Did you have a date with him? -Of course not.
Why would I bring a sandwich to a buffet?
Looks like he thinks the same thing.
I told you, he's only for rainy nights.
I think I hear thunder.
I'm going to dance.
What about us?
What weather are we good for? An ice storm?
Let's get a drink.
Waiter, two beers.
Two for me, too.
And French fries.
-What? -Yes, French fries.
Enough suffering for a prince who never shows up.
You have to lose weight.
Honeymoon, love within your reach, may I help you?
Oh God, I'm getting desperate.
Honeymoon Agency? Christ!
I would never do this, not even dead. No way.
Wrong floor. Ah, the elevator.
Would you like a pamphlet?
Let's make an appointment.
We have. . .
Oh, Grandma. . .
Do you want to say something?
Do you think I'm too old?
Dear, you are asking the wrong person.
Stop. You can't do that. Let me help you.
Did you ever spend a year without a man?
Since the Claudio surprise. . .
I'm turning into stone.
You mean to say that you measure your age
by having or not having a man.
You have no idea. Things are terrible.
Don't you read the papers? There's a shortage of men.
Right. The Middle East conflict is a minor problem.
I'm going to die alone.
Big deal, so am l.
Grandma, if not for the car accident
do you think Mom and Dad would still be together?
How would I know?
They were still laying brick over brick,
trying to build a future.
To me they were inseparable.
A perfect pair.
I want that.
A love that fits like a glove.
But first you have to relax and unwind.
Why don't you travel with your friends for New Year's?
Again? And listen to Beth
talk about men who couldn't care less about us?
I'm tired, you know?
What good is a career if when I go to bed
I need happy memories to get up in the morning?
All I can come up with is my 5th birthday,
that blue Cinderella dress you made for me,
Mom making candy.
I had only one husband during my entire life.
On the other hand, God took my only daughter.
And I ask you,
is that fair? is life fair?
And I answer you. How can I know?
Life is what it is. What will be, will be.
At the right time, the right man will come.
I left a pot on the stove.
Grandma, I'm thinking of going to a dating agency.
I'm going nuts.
Laura, baby, every pot has its lid.
Yours must be around somewhere.
In fact, there probably are a bunch of them.
It must be on a pot of kangaroo meat
in an Australian desert with my Aborigine husband
who stole the lid under the sink.
Look at the candidate's photo, but without. . .
-seeing his name. -My!
The true bridge between lonely hearts.
I can't believe I'm here, with this charlatan.
In a second she'll say she has the perfect man for me.
There is no perfect man. Get that into your head.
As long as he isn't a murderer
or into things. . . unconventional.
We research all our clients' tastes and behaviors
here at Honeymoon.
You will have to answer a few questions.
Please fill out this form.
I need some more time.
In fact, I only came here out of curiosity.
My dentist's office is in the building.
So I thought I'd pop in and check it out.
It doesn't look like you have much time to think.
You've done the hardest part, which is to come in.
Trust me, my work is scientific.
I want total secrecy.
I guarantee it.
I gave up on my personal life.
I work 11 hours a day, Monday to Monday.
My only option is to date a night watchman.
My only free time is between midnight and 6 a.m.
I am dating a real prince of darkness.
We only meet late at night, when everybody else is asleep.
-A vampire. -A married man.
He's almost a widower, his wife is almost dead.
She's been on instruments for six months.
Then just pull the plug.
Now you guys are killing for men?
Killing, no, dying, yes. A friend of mine
was almost electrocuted by her vibrator.
How did she have the nerve to buy it in the first place?
And paid for it in two installments.
I think this friend is right here in front of us.
Betty's going to marry her vibrator.
Oh no, please, no songs.
At least he won't brag to his friends
or introduce me as an acquaintance.
She's right! How many men do you know between
20 and 40 years old, successful and single?
I've had enough of this subject! On to lighter stuff.
What about the bombing in the Paris subway?
Women will start to kidnap men, throw bombs,
resort to wedding agencies!
Imagine a world without men.
It would be a paradise full of fat, happy women.
Didn't I say this was a source of interesting men?
The source! The source!
I have to tell you something. I tried talking with my sister,
but she's got so many problems. Can I trust you?
So serious! Have you changed teams, too?
I went to a dating agency.
What's the big deal? Aren't you and Kojak doing well?
McGyver. Sorry, Laura, you surprised me.
On the internet, I don't take risks.
I never thought you'd do something like that.
Promise you won't tell anybody?
Sort of a wedding agency.
-It can't be. -That's for needy people.
-I think it's normal. -You think it's normal?
I don't think it's normal.
The agency lady wants to know about my underwear.
Weren't there rules for dating men in your days?
The world doesn't change. Same crap as before.
Could you take them home on the first date?
You couldn't do that with someone you had just met?
Look here. Don't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes
or he'll know that he matters to you.
And that you have nothing more important to do.
Don't ever pick him up in your car.
Be mysterious, elusive. Don't stand in the room
Like you're looking for a man. Walk around, smiling in general.
Hello, Vera. The author is here?
No, it's almost ready. OK, bye.
I've barely started working on the cover.
Big deal. I have an emergency.
McGyver is coming over. I have one week to
Lose 4kg, go to the hairdresser, wax my legs, do a full makeover.
I'm not ready.
You're not listening. The man's a genius.
He's one of the country's greatest anthropologists.
Then he knows everything about men.
Ask him for some lessons.
I don't need lessons. I'm fine, a well-adjusted woman.
Are you Laura? I'm Marcel. Vera talked a lot about you.
I asked Vera for a woman to do the cover. . .
It's a matter of women's intuition.
To be honest, I haven't started yet, but defined the type.
I think you'll like it. As for the illustrations. . .
You see this is the pyramid of loneliness.
It must be in the center My thesis is based on it.
It shows how women lose the race in the search for a partner,
because they want older men. Whereas men
Look for younger women and have a better chance
of meeting someone.
Like trading one in her 40s for two in their 20s.
It's not a statistical problem. This is a behavioral problem.
If you change your views, things will be easier.
-You can go in. -Thanks.
Stop, I have a customer. Go, go!
I teach you that thing later. Go now. Bye, dear. Bye.
Hi, how are you? Did you fill out the form? Oh, great.
You prefer men with a university degree.
You work a lot. You didn't answer this item.
Would you masturbate in front of your partner?
Are these details really necessary?
The more the better. The most important thing
is for you to follow certain rules on the first date.
-It sounds like war. -It is.
Women have forgotten how to win a man.
For instance, don't date during your period.
No woman feels sexy and no amount of makeup is enough.
Wear a suit with vivid colors. Orange, turquoise blue. . .
Mammals are attracted to strong colors.
Mammals like suits?
I'm saying that so you won't wear tight clothes.
Insinuate, don't flash.
Don't wear any animal patterns.
Arrive five minutes after him.
Absolutely no sex on the first date. Want some?
Never talk about female superiority on the first fight.
Only talk about children after the ring is on your finger.
Remember: ugly women don't exist, only poorly produced ones.
Seem aloof, never stare at him too long.
Pretend you like the restaurant's decor.
And most important, be witty, be funny.
One thing bothers me. I don't like blind dates.
We also throw parties, have dinners, picnics
with very classy people. For customers who prefer
to meet in more conventional ways.
I'll make an exception, because I like you.
We have a party tonight. Why don't you come?
Give me the address. The Happy Fatty pizza parlor?
I haven't had any dates!
You've been in the agency for a year.
But it's just a matter of time.
The ideal woman will show up when you least expect it.
Hi, I just dropped by.
Oswaldo, meet Laura, our latest associate.
Pretty, isn't she?
Oswaldo is a sales manager at a drugstore chain.
I can get you any medicine you want. No prescriptions.
Thanks, but I'm not sick yet.
I have to go. I have another 3 parties to go to.
Stay a while. We have interesting men here.
See that one. He owns a motor store. Loaded.
But the guy I want you to meet isn't here yet.
I think he just arrived.
Do you wanted some salted beans? Just in from Lebanon.
Delicious! Once again, you and your Oriental specialties.
How about some beans?
Just go away!
No, thank you.
You don't know what you're missing.
Lucia, it's a great party, but I have to go.
I've got to get up very early tomorrow.
But it's still 8:30 p.m. You're not helping yourself.
Everybody, let's take a picture?
Good idea. Smile for Honeymoon, everyone. Laura, next to me.
Thiago, I need Marcel's phone number.
Did you learn how to find a husband?
I learned how to escape traps like you.
The guy really digs relationships.
I bet he's gay.
These books can be surprising,
but I want to show him some ideas for the cover.
Covers are your specialty, aren't they?
You love to hide under them.
I know so much about covers, I can see right through them.
Let me pull the knife out.
My show opens this week.
We'll have food, drinks. . . Men. . .
Will there be those hanging things again?
If so, I'll wear a helmet to protect my head this time.
This time it's only visual. Very shocking.
Just like me.
Meeting in 5 minutes.
-Five minutes. -OK.
Have you noticed how many addicts this office has?
Some addicted to cigarettes, whisky, cocaine, and men.
I've been under forced abstinence for over a year.
Why didn't you say so? I can play that game.
I guarantee a tie.
Guys, this is still a design company.
Lucia, how are you?
What happened? She's pale, tense.
You left so quickly last night,
but made quite an impact on the men.
They are all crazy over you.
One of them is just what you are looking for.
What do you say? Can I make a date?
I told you I don't like blind dates.
He will be waiting for you at 9 p.m. at AI Mansur.
You'll love him. He'll be wearing a yellow shirt.
Don't forget. Men only of sex on the first date.
On the 1 0th date, too,
but then at least he'll be thinking of sex with you.
And remember, wear a suit. You'll look great.
I don't know. . . Lucia?
My cousin's wedding, she's really annoying.
I have to wear a suit.
I like suits. Like a general marching on your heart.
-In high heels? -Like a spit through your heart.
OK, for you. It's another spit.
I'm not doing this. It's not me.
It's not the sort of thing I do.
Suppose I find "the" man of my life? It's not impossible. . .
-How are you? -Well, how are you?
-Everything fine. -Yeah, everything.
Sorry, I think I'm a bit nervous.
We weren't introduced properly the other night.
I am Miguel Yunes, 35, simple, but not dumb.
I work from 6 a.m. to 1 0 p.m. , including Saturdays.
But then only until 5 p.m.
Well, I'm Laura de Palazio,
What is that?
I design book and CD covers on the computer.
What do you do?
I own a shop downtown that sells Arab products.
Dates, apricots, wheat. . .
This man is an ancient Phoenician
talking about things I'd only read in recipe books.
What am I doing here? What was I thinking?
I already ordered. Hope you don't mind.
You are flashy, modern, so why did you go to an agency?
Maybe because I'm afraid of ending up alone.
Even being flashy and modern like you said.
Then you want to marry, have kids. . .
Don't talk about children until the ring is on your finger.
This is a nice place.
Why did you change the subject when I mentioned kids?
Because of that silly manual?
Don't worry. I want to have kids. I love kids.
Imagine old Yunes' grandkids filling the world.
I want children, too. There, I said it.
I must confess.
I'm not a member of the agency.
Lucia is my cousin. She called me.
She thought we would get along well.
Do you work with your brothers?
Yes, since my father died. But I'm in charge.
I didn't go to university. I lied to Lucia I had a master's degree.
When my father died, I stopped studying.
I know about overwhelming things in life.
My parents died in a car crash when I was 1 2.
It was the first time I met the. . . inexorable.
You speak funny words that you recognize,
but don't use.
I am a bit overbearing at times.
She doesn't know I have Arab roots.
Let's show her how it's done.
Hi, Laura, it's Beth. Are you OK? Call me.
Laura, where have you been? Have you been with Miguel?
I'm hysterical. Are you with him in bed now?
Sorry, I just realized he might be there listening.
Overwhelming - adjective. From the verb overwhelm.
Dominator, oppress, seduce. Inexorable, adjective.
Implacable, immovable, austere.
Two words you taught me.
I'll try using them on our next dates.
Bye. Lots of love.
Oh, it's Miguel.
This wall was always yellow.
How could you paint it blue?
I wanted green, but the painter made a mistake.
Didn't you complain?
Why? It looks elegant.
You have to let go of the past.
-Move on, child. -Let me carry this,
it must be heavy.
Leave it to me. And you exercise every day?
You know, Gran, I dated a guy from the Honeymoon agency.
Did you follow the rules?
Sort of. He's nice, has an honest face.
But it's a bit scary. He is very different from me.
You can't be so choosy. Hasn't it been a year. . .
Almost, but you should have seen him. A total Arab.
Studied very little, then went to work with dates.
-What do I do with dates? -A pie. I have a great recipe.
Don't you know Arabs are great lovers?
-Really? -Just kidding.
Everybody is the same.
After a while you notice his irritating habits.
After a year, everything that was magic turns into annoyance.
Which means the perfect man does not exist.
Of course he does. If you lived in another country
you'd find him there. Since you don't, you gotta find him here.
I'll have to lower my standards.
Women always want the perfect man.
They don't see what's around them.
Goddammit, the painter stained my floor.
Stop wondering if he's your dream man.
Close your eyes and go. What will be, will be.
Do you want to kill me? Spit it out.
I went out with him yesterday. His name is Miguel.
Miguel? It could be worse. Tell me. Is he a hunk?
He has a business downtown.
He's a real character, kind of charming.
Interesting, exotic or strange character?
It's like he's from another planet. We talked for three hours.
Of course not. We were just getting to know each other.
You seem as enthusiastic as a cow waiting for slaughter.
He has potential.
Now to the quality test. Can I test him?
I haven't tested him. You didn't tell anyone, did you?
May God strike me down if. . .
Betty? What is it?
Would you say the show was a success?
Sure, people are leaving because it's late.
Do you think people grasped the loneliness and the contrast?
I really like my work. Hi there.
Hi, Vera, this is Miguel. Miguel, Vera.
We're a bit late. . .
Betty left with a performance artist.
Paula brought her boyfriend, they fought and left.
-And Tereza? -The redhead?
She received a phone call and left.
So many friends.
Did your kids give you the night off?
Hi, son, Mommy will you be home soon.
No, Rodrigo doesn't have laser beam vision.
He won't melt you down.
Hi, do you like the paintings or do you need an explanation?
The problem of modern man is summed up
in a full stop at the end of a sentence.
That is, l. . . space-time. . .
Let me introduce you to Miguel. This is Thiago, the painter.
Congratulations, your work is. . . overwhelming.
Do you paint or sculpt?
I buy and sell.
I'm going to the ladies' room.
Is it the light in here or are you pale?
I've never been this pale. My whole life lacks color.
I think I have the right color for you.
I have to go. . .
Try it, I know you'll like it.
It's not my thing. I have nothing against. . .
The lipstick, silly!
See how nice it is?
Yes, you were right.
You are so pretty.
Your life lacks color because you want it to.
-You think so? -Yes.
Maybe you are looking in the wrong places,
but it's not too late.
Kind of, it's past one.
My name is Debora, call me.
Do you like the show?
I don't get it, he's selling the paintings before he paints?
I think we'd better go.
Laura went out with a guy from the agency.
He must be a total bore. How can she stand him?
He's an Arab, we could try out the Muslim thing,
three women to a man.
She should just thank God he's not a serial killer.
Are you sure? Okay, no, no, it's fine. Thanks.
Here's your beer.
Is this what you do while I am busy with the Japanese?
I never really liked this. But. . .
A drink, for heaven's sake. I need a Valium.
How can you dance in the middle of this crowd?
Don't say that word. I'm having a panic attack.
Easy. . . . Breathe. . . Drink. You'll be fine.
Easy, keep cool.
I don't feel well. The whisky must be spiked.
-This is beer. -Is it diet?
Let's get out of here. We're going nowhere here.
I don't feel well, the beer and the pill. . .
The pill hasn't reached your stomach yet.
We're almost there. Excuse me, she's not feeling well.
-And this crowd. -Laura, call Tulio.
I must be really needy. Just because my friends are nutty.
I shouldn't be here,
chasing after a guy who doesn't get abstract art.
What a surprise.
I was just in the neighborhood. and remembered your shop.
Right, and your dentist is around the corner.
You didn't call, I mean, your answering machine
was turned off and I thought we could try. . .
Come in and see the store. Come.
Rule 327, never ever go see him at his job.
It's a bit messy, we got a delivery yesterday.
Interesting. . . picturesque.
We will go out again, but this time I decide where to go.
We just got a new shipment and I had to. . .
Wait a sec.
Go out again. I want to get out of here.
I'm going on an interview, want to come with me?
We could have some lunch.
It's a bit far. I might get lost.
-You, get lost? -It's easier than it seems.
I can't, baby, Saturday's a busy day.
I can see that.
-You don't feel rejected? -No.
For you, to find your way back.
I'll call you.
-Hello. -Laura? Come in.
Your book surprised me.
I thought it was a self-help kind of book.
Then you'll love this, it's the material for my new book.
-Have a seat. -Thanks.
In this tribe, when a man is angry, he goes into a cave
that's off limits to women.
Want a drink?
Since you women have become financially independent,
you don't have to go after men who are better off.
They can even choose to support a man.
Women in this tribe are already fully independent.
But not allowed in the cave.
Men assert themselves through work,
women through relationships.
Include me, I'm feel awful when I'm alone.
In the tribe it's different. They control the money.
-And also the relationships. -Conclusion. . .
No conclusions, no rules.
It's a state of mind, that makes a woman beautiful.
Each in his cave, but each just as happy outside it.
Well, I hope you like the cover.
It's still repressed.
Be more provocative, more seductive.
This is teenager stuff.
-Hello, Debora? -Speaking.
I don't know if you remember me. We met in the bathroom. . .
Hi, darling, of course, I remember you. You finally called.
Sorry, wrong number.
Yes, I finished it. Finished what?
Whatever, you're always finishing something.
-Who is Thiago dating? -I have no idea.
Neither do l. It's someone mysterious. She must be married.
Want to go out with me tonight?
Look here, I could sue you for sexual harassment.
Yes, this is Laura.
Lucia, I was just thinking of you.
So was l. Amazing. How was dinner with Miguel?
Didn't I tell you he was wonderful?
You're going out with him again?
Then I guess you don't want to meet another man.
No. I don't need more problems. I've enough on my plate.
Miguel is great. If money is a problem. . .
I'll pay. In fact, I'll pay not to meet anyone else.
You said the magic word.
I knew you'd value our service here at Honeymoon.
Men? You are making me jealous.
An Arab dinner? How original.
Did you prepare it yourself?
I bought it myself.
Need any help?
Why do men think we can't do anything right?
I'm tired of tabule anyway.
I want to try something else now.
Will you help me here.
-You are pretty cute. -Thanks for the compliment.
I need to get that.
Paula here. Are you there? Pick up. The condom burst.
I'm one week overdue. I think I'm pregnant.
By Tulio. I'm frantic here. Call me.
If it's a boy, name him Calil, it means
"the man who wants all your attention".
It's not funny. She might be pregnant
by a man she doesn't even know if she likes.
I want to show you something.
A design contest in New York? Where did you find this?
In the newspaper. I have solutions for all problems.
-You kiss pretty well. -Thanks for the compliment.
-Good morning. -Almost good afternoon.
You look weird. Wearing pigtails?
-Why so happy? -Eastern happiness.
The self-help books are working?
More than you can imagine.
These drugstore tests don't mean anything.
I did it 4 times, all showed the same result.
Then you're pregnant?
Yes. What do I do know?
This could be my last chance at motherhood.
-Last chance? -But with Tulio. . .
What about me? Not even a boyfriend.
Being optimistic, my pregnancy is so far away
that I'll be my children's grandmother.
I thought I was the one with problems.
How selfish of me. Is it a boy or a girl?
Wrong question. When will he be born?
My God, I'm going to be the mother of Tulio's son.
I'll stand by whatever you decide.
Will you let me change his diapers now and then?
Sure, you can be his godmother.
I promised a special dinner for my boyfriend's birthday.
I never imagined. But I was told
you probably were gay. The way you talk about women.
I recently met a woman in a bathroom at an art gallery.
Is that the solution for me?
A friend of mine discovered she liked women at 42.
But choosing this out of desperation isn't the answer.
There's a part in your book I don't agree with.
When you say men like to be married.
I can't complain. I met a guy at an agency.
I think men are afraid. They hate commitment.
How long do divorced men wait before marrying again?
Men love it.
Humanity loves company. Even that of a dog.
I'll take these, please.
Instead of trying to seduce the right man,
why not seduce everything? Men, women, lampposts, dogs.
Seduce the universe.
Try to seduce this man into letting you taste that wine.
It's very expensive, they don't give it away easily.
You're doubting me?
Anything else, sir?
No, that's all.
For a whole year I had stumbled through life anonymously.
Then suddenly, because of one gesture, I was noticed.
-Do I know you? -What are you doing here?
Looking around, the same as you.
I come here every week.
-Are you alone? -Yes.
You look strange, Thiago. Alone, like a lost puppy dog.
Not strange, just away from the office.
The real, normal me.
There's even a pimple on my forehead.
At the office you'd never had a pimple.
I use makeup to hide the normal human being that I am.
Want a drink?
-Two drinks. -And two pies.
You're dating, Laura, aren't you? I can tell.
I'm going out with a very different kind of guy.
The one you took to the show?
Do you remember him?
He's a nice guy, does nice things, at times he moves me.
-But. . . -But?
I don't know.
You are not in love.
-I don't think so. -But?
-I wish I were, get it? -Why?
Because I'm tired of being alone.
Because I hate having to search for someone at night,
give the worst men a chance, because there's no one else.
I want to have kids, get married.
-It's tough for men, too. -Yeah!
I feel exposed, but I really want to be discovered.
A normal guy with a pimple, get it?
That pimple is like a satyr's horn.
That's how I see you, a satyr in an orgy,
eating the hearts of the women in love with you.
Let's go to your place.
Why don't you sit down?
I don't want champagne.
Laura, Miguel here. Let's meet, I miss you. Call me.
I want to tell you something.
Go slowly with the serious stuff.
You're crazy. Whose baby is it?
Yours, of course. I am a good guy.
Do you accept it?
You'd better be careful.
We're not seriously involved, just getting to know each other.
-Experimenting. -Why experiment?
An Arab proverb says one doesn't waste time in life,
one wastes life when wasting time.
Death is the inexorable end.
-Inexorable? -More than inexorable.
-That's him. I bet it's him. -Let me see.
It's worse than I thought.
Careful, she'll see us.
Closer. I want to see this guy from the agency.
What is it?
I think I saw a friend.
Go buy us some coconut water. I'll be right back.
I wanted to sunbathe.
I was coerced, it's not my fault. I think she made us.
Betty, I can't trust you. Who else knows?
Nobody, I swear. Just Vera, the new trainee,
and your sister Ana.
-You told my sister? -She needed to know.
I prefer non-virtual sex, unlike certain people.
We're all worried. We don't want you dating
a serial killer just out of loneliness.
Look who's talking!
"Gimme a piece of cake and let's watch a game on TV."
Don't talk to Paula like that.
Right, you are all forgiven.
Now go, because I'm trying to have a date here.
We forgive you, too.
-Come again? -We forgive you
for not trusting your friends.
This isn't gossip central. The world has every type.
The happily and unhappily married,
the unhappy maidens and those who love to be left alone.
I belong with the unhappy maidens.
You're like a group of single women on the prowl
who hope to end up alone forever.
We were just having fun. Sunday is so boring.
We had nothing else planned.
Then do your laundry or something.
Don't you have anything better to do?
Go chase guys on the Web. At least mine is real.
-Calm down. -He's too real.
-I'm going to throw up. -Keep cool, guys.
Get your hairy arms off of me.
You have such strong hands.
Stop being so phony, Betty, you loved every second of it.
-Thiago's not coming? -No.
He went to Salvador to see a potential client.
Salvador? He didn't say anything.
I think he's exploring the client's potential.
Why don't we believe him? He's a normal guy.
I think he's a bit too clean, perfect, always cool.
He had a pimple on Saturday.
Yes, we had sex. And, technically, very good sex.
-In the living room? -How do you know?
Since we're confessing. . . Me too.
I thought so.
Yes, me too, a long time ago. On the couch, listening to. . .
That strange sound that makes you want. . .
-that strange thing. -The son of a bitch!
-Who is a son of a bitch? -Thiago.
It seems he slept with everybody here
while listening to the same strange music.
-You too? -Just once.
I took some sketches to his house and it happened.
-The married one, remember? -And your children?
They were home.
I went home, fed them and put them to bed.
I hope you turned off your cell phone.
"Mommy can't get to the phone, Mom's having sex!"
Show some respect.
My life with Pierre. . . improved after that.
One more to confess she had sex with Thiago.
-God forbid, I'm engaged. -C'mon, you thought about it.
You have to try this. I made it.
Don't drop it, Laura.
You make a good waitress.
Did I say something wrong?
I'm going to get a sandwich,
these crackers aren't doing it for me.
Tulio will be a good father.
He's unemployed, has plenty of time to look after the kid.
I like Tulio. I just don't like to hug him.
-When I do, I suffocate. -Paula, you're so neurotic.
I'm not, I'm aware of things, it's different.
-What a beautiful house. -Thanks.
Please excuse me.
What are you doing here? I thought you were in Salvador.
I came straight from the airport.
-Your house is nice. -Thanks.
It belonged to my parents. I decided to keep it.
-Let's go out on the terrace. -Sure.
I don't know where Laura sticks her knives.
In people's hearts.
Laura, I'll get straight to the point.
-Let's be together? -Thiago, you're such a bad actor.
When I'm being honest, I'm acting.
I bought this especially for you.
And everybody else?
I bet there's more where that came from.
One for Vera and her kids, too.
Is it bad manners not to use a plate?
No, it doesn't matter. The point is eating.
That's what I like. Spirit!
Listen, I'm leaving, I want you to come with me.
You don't take me seriously. You've got me all wrong.
I ate my fill. I'd have preferred bologna, but. . .
One promises and doesn't deliver.
The other delivers, but doesn't promise.
What do I do now?
Marcel, just in time!
-I bought that rare wine. -From that smiling ogre?
The important thing is not tasting the wine,
but what you have to do to taste it.
Life is a challenge. You must face it.
Your book cover is ready.
-But I changed the title. -You what?
Easy, you'll like it. Now "Women Searching
for Someone" is just a subtitle.
And the title?
You did catch the spirit of the wine.
What do I do when people offer me wine?
You seem to have liked the cover.
Thanks to the designer.
I need to talk to you.
Can I take it to be printed?
That's when I decided to take a break.
I tired of trying to find someone at all cost.
It's like Grandma says. What will be, will be.
The funny thing is that now men are noticing me.
Good-bye, dried fern. Hello, overwhelming woman.
Suddenly I realized the world is full of possibilities.
Want one of these?
Honeymoon. That's English.
-What is it? -There's a great bush there.
Sit down. I'll be right with you.
Is that how you treat your boyfriends?
I waste no time with them. I pay. They obey.
It's simpler and cheaper.
Pity Laura isn't here.
Thanks to my little tip, she's in New York.
What matters is that you are here.
Lipe is stealing candy!
Stop, Lipe, don't shake me. Go away, Mommy isn't here.
This is a vision you're having. Mommy's at a party.
What must be, must be. That's fate.
But one must be ready when fate arrives.
You're a friend of the bride or groom?
-Bride. -So am l.
And my friends' friends are my friends.
Excuse me. Hi, Hiroshi, no, I'm not busy.
Wait a sec. Can you take it for me?
-Hold on. What's your name? -Teresa.
Go ahead, I'm Teresa's secretary.
I think she looks more mature, don't you?
She is beautiful. She sent me this postcard.
"I'm working harder than you."
-Poor Laura, we must save her. -I think she looks great.
Listen to mine:
"When is my godson coming to visit me?"
Did you hear that, baby? We're going to New York.
Friends. . .
-What does it say? -She is beautiful.
"It's the source, baby! It's the source!"
Betty, the bouquet.
Laura, for you!
For you, Laura.
I miss her.
Do you like weddings?
I'm thrilled, it's a great moment in our lives.
I want to leave a message on that camera.
My work is scientific. . .
I can recognize a badly loved person.
Come visit my agency. The name is Honeymoon.
No strings attached.
We have all sorts of people. Tall, blonde,
fat, slim, big feet, American, German, Japanese. . .
you won't believe it.
Much better than you have at home.
So let's make a deal. Pay me a visit.
True happiness is guaranteed.
Just follow a few rules for the first date.
Wear a suit. Makes you look slimmer.
Absolutely no sex on the first date.
Even though he'll want sex.
But he must want sex only with you.
Don't talk of children until the ring is on your finger.
Forget about female superiority.
Love yourself deeply.
Try it in front of the mirror.
You have to internalize it and then he will love you.
We have picnics, dinners. I think you'll like the picnics.
A I - Artificial Intelligence
Aap Ki Kasam
Abnormal Beauty (2004)
About Last Night
About Schmidt CD1
About Schmidt CD2
About a Boy (2002)
Absence of Malice (1981)
Abyss The - Special Edition
Accidental Spy The
Accidental Tourist The 1988
Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
Ace Ventura - When nature calls
Ace Ventura Pet Detective 1994
Achtung fertig Charlie
Acid House The (1998)
Adela jeste nevecerela
Adjuster The 1992
Adventures Of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert The CD1
Adventures Of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert The CD2
Adventures Of Robin Hood The
Adventures in Babysitting
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Adventures of Felix
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Adventures of Pluto Nash
Adversaire La (Nicole Garcia 2002)
Affair of the Necklace
Affair to Remember An 1957
Afraid to Die (Yasuzo Masumura 1960)
African Queen The
After Hours 1985
Against All Odds 1984 CD1
Against All Odds 1984 CD2
Against The Ropes CD1
Against The Ropes CD2
Age of Innocence The CD1
Age of Innocence The CD2
Agent Cody Bank 2
Agent Cody Banks
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Agoniya (1981) Agony CD2
Aguirre der Zorn Gottes (1973)
Aguirre the Wrath of God
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Ahi Esta El Detalle (1940) CD2
Ai no corrida 1976
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Airplane 2 - The Sequel
Akibiyori (Late Autumn 1960) CD1
Akibiyori (Late Autumn 1960) CD2
Akira - Limited Special Edition
Aladdin and The King Of Thiefs
Alarmist The 1997
Alex and Emma
Ali G Aiii (2000)
Ali G In Tha House
Alias 01x01 - Truth Be Told (Pilot)
Alias 01x02 - So It Begins
Alias 01x03 - Parity
Alias 01x04 - A Broken Heart
Alias 01x05 - Doppelganger
Alias 01x06 - Reckoning
Alias 01x07 - Color Blind
Alias 01x08 - Time Will Tell
Alias 01x09 - Mea Culpa
Alias 01x10 - Spirit
Alias 01x11 - The Confession
Alias 01x12 - The Box Part 1
Alias 01x13 - The Box Conclusion
Alias 01x14 - The Coup
Alias 01x15 - Page 47
Alias 01x16 - The Prophecy
Alias 01x17 - Q and A
Alias 01x18 - Masquerade
Alias 01x19 - Snowman
Alias 01x20 - The Solution
Alias 01x21 - Rendezvous
Alias 01x22 - Almost Thirty Years
Alias 02x01 - The Enemy Walks In
Alias 02x02 - Trust Me
Alias 02x11 - A Higher Echelon
Alias 02x12 - The Getaway
Alias 02x13 - Phase One
Alias 02x14 - Double Agent
Alias 02x15 - A Free Agent
Alias 02x16 - Firebomb
Alias 02x17 - A Dark Turn
Alias 02x18 - Truth Takes Time
Alias 02x19 - Endgame
Alias 02x20 - Countdown
Alias 02x21 - Second Double
Alias 02x22 - The Telling
Alias 3x01 - The two
Alias 3x02 - Succession
Alias 3x03 - Reunion
Alias 3x04 - A missing link
Alias 3x05 - Repercussions
Alias 3x06 - The nemesis
Alias 3x07 - Prelude
Alias 3x08 - Breaking point
Alias 3x09 - Conscious
Alias 3x10 - Remnants
Alias 3x11 - Full disclosure
Alias 3x12 - Crossings
Alias 3x13 - After six
Alias 3x14 - Blowback
Alias 3x15 - Facade
Alias 3x16 - Taken
Alias 3x17 - The frame
Alias 3x18 - Unveiled
Alias 3x19 - Hourglass
Alias 3x20 - Blood ties
Alias 3x21 - Legacy
Alias 3x22 - Resurrection
Alice Doesnt Live Here Anymore 1974 CD1
Alice Doesnt Live Here Anymore 1974 CD2
Alice et Martin 1998 CD1
Alice et Martin 1998 CD2
Alice in Wonderland
Alices Adventures in Wonderland
Alien Directors Cut
Alien Resurrection 1997 CD1
Alien Resurrection 1997 CD2
Alien Vs Predator
Aliens (special edition) 1986 CD1
Aliens (special edition) 1986 CD2
All About Eve
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All About Lily Chou-Chou CD2
All About My Father (Alt Om Min Far)
All I Want for Christmas 1991
All Night Long
All That Heaven Allows
All The Kings Men
All The Pretty Horses 23.976fps
All the Little Animals 1998
Alladin and the Wonderful Lamp
Allegro non troppo
Alliance garden state
Along Came Polly
Along came a spider
Alt Om Min Far (All About My Father)
Alvarez Kelly CD1
Alvarez Kelly CD2
Alzheimer Case The (2003) CD1
Alzheimer Case The (2003) CD2
Amantes del Circulo Polar Los (1998)
Amants Criminels Les
Amar Akbar Anthony - Manmohan Desai 1977 CD1
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Amelie From Montmartre CD1
Amelie From Montmartre CD2
Amelie or The Time To Love CD1
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American Movie - The Making Of Northwestern CD1
American Movie - The Making Of Northwestern CD2
American Pie (UK)
American Pie - Rated Version
American Pie 2
American Wedding (Unrated)
American Werewolf in London CD1
American Werewolf in London CD2
American in Paris An
Americas Sweethearts (2001)
Amerikanische Soldat Der (1970)
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Amityville 2 - The Possession 1982
Amityville 3 - The Demon 1983
Amityville 4 - The Evil Escapes 1989
Amityville Horror 5 - The Curse 1990
Amityville Horror 6 - Its About Time (1992)
Amityville Horror The CD1
Amityville Horror The CD2
Amor Brujo El (Carlos Saura 1986)
Amour en Fuite L
Amour en fuite Le 1979
An American Werewolf in Paris
An Autumn Afternoon 1962
Anacondas - The Hunt For The Blood Orchid
Analyze That (2002)
Analyze This (1999)
Anatomie 2 2003
Anatomy of a Murder 1959 CD1
Anatomy of a Murder 1959 CD2
And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself
And God Created Woman
And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself
Andaz Apna Apna
Andrei Rublev 1969 Directors Cut CD1
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Angel Heart Devil Face
Angels In America - Chapter 1
Angels In America - Chapter 2
Angels In America - Chapter 3
Angels In America - Chapter 4
Angels In America - Chapter 5
Angels In America - Chapter 6
Angels With Dirty Faces 1938
Angels of the Universe
Anglaise et le duc La (Rohmer Eric 2001)
Animals Are Beautiful People
Anna In Kungfu Land 2003
Anne Frank - The Whole Story CD1
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Annie Get Your Gun
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Anniversary Party The
Another 48 Hours
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Any Given Sunday
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Apartment The CD2
Apocalypse Now - Redux
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April Fools Day
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Army in the Shadows 1969 CD1
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Aro Tolbukhin En la Mente del Asesino (Agustin Villaronga 2002)
Around The World In 80 Days 2004 CD1
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Around The World In 80 Days CD1
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Arsenic And Old Lace 1944
Art Of War The
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As Long As My Feet Will Carry Me CD1
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Asphalt Jungle The
Asterix In Britain 1986
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At Close Range
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Atlantis - The Lost Empire
Atlantis Milos Return 2003
Atlantis The Lost Empire
Attack The Gas Station
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Audition The (1999 Japanese)
Austin Powers - International Man Of Mystery
Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me
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