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Big Fat Liar

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[Man]|Hey,Jas,you awake?
Jason?|Hey,Jason,you awake?
Yeah, Dad, been up for hours.|J ust getting dressed.
Did you finish that paper|for English class?.|Yeah, did it last night.
Jas, did you eat|your oatmeal?.
Yeah, thanks, Mom.|It was delicious.
Here you go, Trooper.|# Is something wrong with me#
# Orthe way that I'm thinking|Come on, come on#
# And tell me|why you're staring#
# Come on, come on--#
[ All Chuckling ]
Nice board, Shepherd.
Bret, I would love|to hang around...
and be physically and|emotionally abused by you guys,
but I should probably|get to school.
Ow. See, I had a feeling|you were an excellent bully.
And I was right.|Take it easy.
Give me|the skateboard.|You sure?.
'Cause now you're going from harmless|bully to hardened boardjacker.
I don't think you wanna|do that, do you?.
[School Bell Ringing]
# Come on, come on and tell me|why you're staring#
# Come on, come on|and stop ##
I assume everyone|has completed their creative|writing assignments.
- [ Pager Ringing ]|- I don't want to hear excuses.
Ijust want to hear|your assignments readaloud|in a slow and peaceful--
- You,Joshua. Go.|- Uh, my dog ate it?
- I know you don't have a dog.|- Right. Sorry.
- Miss Caldwel I ?.|- Yes, Kaylee?
Can you open the door?.|I t's kinda toasty in here.
I suppose so.
[ Grunts ]
Jason Shepherd, did you just|come in from that window?.
No. You looked flushed.|I was just creating a cross-draft.
Now that we're all comfortable,|why don'tyou read us your story?.
Let's give someone else a chance.|No, we'd like to hear yours.
You did do it, didn't you?.
Miss Caldwell--|can I call you Phyllis?.
- No.|- Understood.
But as much as I wanted|to write my paper--
I mean, I really, really wanted|to write my paper--
I couldn't.
And it's because I spent all last night|in the Greenbury General emergency room.
See, my mom made|Swedish meatballs for dinner.|It's my dad's favorite.
He was so excited, he accidentally|swallowed one whole.
It was awful! He started choking.|His faced turned purple.
The meatball was bulging out|ofhis neck. We rushed him to the E.R.
I kept trying to write my paper|in the waiting room,|but it was too hard.
I needed to be by my father's side.|After all, he's the only dad I got.
You're lying through your|teeth, you little demon.
I wish I were, Phyllis.|Call my dad if you want.
His number's 555-0147.
I think I will.
Are you crazy?.|You're totally gonna get busted.
Say "Harry Shepherd's office."|No way. Don't drag me into this.
- Come on. Help me out. What am I supposed to do?|- How about write the paper?.
- Do it. Do it!|- No. No!
Harry Shepherd's office.|One moment please.
[ Tired, SickVoice ]|Hello?. Oh, hello. Miss Caldwell.
Yes, it's true.|It was terrifying!
I started to see the white light.
I was just about to cross over|to the other side,
when I heard the voice of an angel calling out,|and when I opened my eyes,
I saw my sweet, sweet Jason|standing over me.
And I said,|"Back off, Grim Reaper.
I ain't done living yet."
And with every ounce of gas|I had left in my body,
I burped that meatball|right across the room.
And I owe it all to my son.
I'm sorry, Miss Caldwell.|I should stop talking now.
My throat is still very sore.
Thank you.
- [Door Opens ]|-Jason!
I am so sorry!.
You just take your time|handing in that assignment.
Thank you.
Now back to those|creative assignments. You, Trevor. Go.
[School Bell Rings ]
Oh! J ust who I was looking for.|I need to see you in here.
I would love to hang out|and chat with you, Miss "C."
But I've got to get home|and take care of my daddy.
Oh, really?.
How could you lie to us,Jas?|You told me you wrote that paper.
I don't know. Unfortunately that essay |counts for 1/3 of Jason's grade.
Without it, he's gonna fail the class.|He'll have to repeat the course in summer school.
What?. I can't go|to summer school.
There must be something|he can do to make this up.
I'm teaching English as a second language|at the community college until 6:00.
If you can get me the paper by then,|I'll consider counting it.
And don't even think about|downloading something from the Net.
- I want the essay handwritten.|- A thousand-word story in three hours?.
That should be no problem since making up stories|seems to be your God-given talent.
[ Dad's Voice ] Making up stories|seems to be your God-given talent.
[ Thinking ]|Big...
fat... Iiar.
Kenny Trooper was|the world's biggest liar.
They say a little lie|can grow bigger and bigger.
One man will pay the price.
People everywhere stopped|and stared at the big fat liar.
Yes!
Why'dhe have to steal|my skateboard today?
Nice wheels, Shepherd!|[ Laughing ]
Freak!
Uh, sir?.|I think we just hit a kid.
I'm on the phone!
Sorry. Apparently we ran over|a kid or something.
You all right there, buddy?.|Yeah.
But you gotta help me out.|I have to get to the community|college in two minutes...
or I'm gonna fail|out of eighth grade.|What's going on here?.
- I need a ride.|- What, am I running a taxi service?.
It's right down the road. You're lucky|I don't sue you for whiplash.
Actually...|my neck does feel pretty stiff.
[ Groaning]
Get in the car.
Watch the shoes!|Watch the shoes!
Man! If you only knew|the kind of day I've had!
Yeah, it must be really,|really tough to be 1 1.
I'm actually 1 4.|Oh, my mistake.
Jason Shepherd.
Marty Wolf.
Famous Hollywood producer.
[ Scoffs ] I'm in town|shooting my new picture.
Oh, yeah, you're that guy.
Dude, no offense, but you have made|some stinkers in the last few years.
- Yeah, well, everyone|has a dry spell, Ebert.|- It's Jason.
Trust me. All it takes is one hit|to get you back on top.
Yeah, that's what I'm counting on|with this story I'm handing in.
Oh, really?. Why don'tyou|tell me more about that?.
I tried to get out of it,|but my teacher busted me.
What'd you go with,|dog ate your homework?.
- No. Dad choked on a meatball.|- And you spent all night with him in the E.R.?
Yeah.
Your teacher called the old man to confirm,|you imitated his voice on the cell phone?.
Yeah, pretty much.
All right, listen and learn, short stack.|Here's where you went wrong.
You should've forged the doctor's note,|made your dad your sister...
and changed the meatball|into a chicken wing.
It's much easier to swallow|if you G.M.D...which means "Get my drift."
Wow. You're good.
No, no, no. I'm the best.
- Here we are.|- All right, God bless you,Jared.
- It's Jason.|- And it always will be.
Keep practicing those lies,Jiminy.
'Cause you can take it from me.|The truth?. It's overrated.
Now get out!
I got a movie to produce!
Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.
Ciao.
Hey-o! You left--
- Back to the set, sir?.|- Yeah. Double-time it, driver.
Listen, Whitaker,|I'm noty our sister, I'm not your girlfriend,
and I'm not your priest.|[ Clucking]
So if you wanna remain my partner,|I've got two words for you.
Shut the heck up!|You talkway too much!
Can we cut?. Can we--|[ Coughing ]
'Cause this ain't working|for me at all.
What do you think you're doing?.|Fumigating me in here?.
Move!|Moving.
Why did you call cut?. I did not|tell you to stop acting, Urkel.
Wolf, how many times|have I told you not to call me Urkel?.
My name is Jaleel White, okay?.
Urkel was a character|I played when I was a child.
Okay,Jaleel.|Hey, what's the problem?.
Wanna know the problem?.|Yeah.
I'm getting nothing|from the chicken,|that's the problem.
He sits there with his head slumped over.|I have no idea what my motivation is.
Mmm. Okay, you're|a police officer named Fowl.
Your new partner is a crime-fighting|chicken named Whitaker.
And your motivation is a nice|fat paycheck that's keeping you out...
of working the drive-through window at McDonald's.|Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch yourself, Wolf.|Watch yourself.
No, you watch yourself, pal.
You're just lucky I'm not making you|wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
I swear. I was riding down the street|on Jamie's old bike and some limo hit me.
They offered me a ride.|I spilled all my stuff. I must've forgotten the paper.
Give us one reason|whywe should believe you.
Because it's true!
There was some guy in the limo.|Marty something. Maybe he took it.
What are our options?.
Without the essay,|summer school.
Or... summer school.
[Man]|Today, students,
we're going to learn about|the joys of a special friend...
I like to call Mr. Semicolon.
[Student Coughing]
The semicolon was first used...
in a 1734 letter|to British Parliament...
by Mr.Jedediah Wilkinson.
W-I -L...
I--|[ Snoring ]
Help... me.
Jason, you must've made|at least one friend.
Yeah, come to think of it,the kid behind me|who kept flicking boogers at my neck,
he seemed like|a really nice guy.
I shouldn't even be|in that stupid summer school.
Ifit makes you feel any better,|my parents are taking an adventure.
They're going on a river rafting|trip in the Grand Canyon.|But do I get an adventure?. No.
My big adventure is staying|at my Grandma Pearl's|with her toe fungus.
Well, you can hang out|at my place.
My folks are taking a long|weekend at some health spa|for their anniversary.
It'll just be me and Jamie|from Thursday till Sunday.
[Preview Narrator]|In a time...
when a little lie...
can grow bigger...
and bigger,
one man will pay the price.
Next summer,|people everywhere...
will stop and stare.
Marty Wolf Pictures presents...
Kenny Trooper,
the Bi g Fat Liar.
[ Kaylee ]|What do you think? Wanna see it?
See it?. I thi nk I wrote it.
[ Dad]|Not that again,Jason.|I'm telling you!
Wait a minute.|This is it.
Big Fat Liar is already being touted|as next summer's must-see movie event.
I recently sat down|with Marty Wolf,
the mastermind behind|this sure-to-be--
That's him!|That's the guy from the limo.
- How'd you come up with this idea?|- Some ideas you...
struggle and struggle with.
But the great ones,|well, they just come to you.
Yeah! From my backpack,|you loser!
-Jason.|- Dad.
I'm serious.|That guy stole my paper.
You have to believe me.
I can't.
Ijust don't trust you right now,Jas.
Have a nice weekend, kids.
We will.|[Mom ]|See you on Sunday. Have fun.
Look out for your brother.|Bye-bye.
We'll miss you guys.
[ Groans ]
Later.|I 'm going over to Rudy's.
- Rudy.|- Yo, what's up, dog?
How you living, yo?.
It's crackin', kid!
Peace out, little "G."
Booyah!
He's not literally|a catcher eating rye bread.
It's more of a metaphor|for a state of adolescent angst.
- We need to talk.|- I'm tutoring.
Bet you wish you still had|your skateboard, huh, Shepherd?
Let's see.|Fully-developed brain.
Skateboard.
- I think I'll take the brain.|- But I have your skateboard.
-Kaylee, pack your bags. We're going on a trip.|-I can't just go to Los Angeles.
And I can't go through my life|having my parents think I'm a liar.
But you are a liar.|In general that's true.
But this time I'm telling the truth.|I wrote that paper.
And I'm not gonna rest until Wolf admits|he stole it and my parents know it.
What are we supposed to do?.|Walk across the country?.
Three years of yard work and baby-sitting money.|Our flight leaves in two hours.
What about my Grandma Pearl?|I'm staying at her house|while my parents are away.
That woman doesn't|even know what year it is.
You said you wanted an adventure.
We'll go to L.A., I'll get my paper,|and we'll be back before the long weekend is over.
My grandma will notice|if I don't even show up at all.
[Bret ] Hey, Kaylee,|you got a plunger?
I took a dookie and|I clogged up the toilet. Oh, boy. Oh, no.
What a mess.|[ Laughing ]
This is never gonna work.|She's not that blind and senile. Oh, it'll work.
If any of my team mates|see me, Shepherd, you're dead.
Hey, we made a deal. You want us to do|your summer school homework or not?.
Yeah, it's just--|It's only a few days.
And remember. You have to|make your voice sound like a girl's.
Come on, big feller.
Who's there?. I've got a gun.
It's just Kaylee, Grandma.
Kaylee?.
You can't be Kaylee.|You've grown so tall.
And you're so muscular!
[ Laughs ]|I'm benching like 220, 230.
Good for you!|Give me a hug.
Come on.
# Me, myself and I#
# Me, myself and I|Just me, myself and I#
# Ahh-ahh-ahh#
[Woman Over P.A. System:|Indistinct ]
Follow my lead.|Okay.
Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.
[ Laughs ]
You serious?.|Is there a problem?.
No, no. Uh--
Just you're kind a young to be the biggest|fur coat distributor of the Midwest, you know?.
It's a family business. I've been|selling pelts since I was a baby.
Okay.
I'm Frank.
Frank, we want to get some sightseeing in| before we start covering this town in fur.
Okay. So this here|is a little place I like to call...
Los Angeles.
# Me, myself, myself and I#
#Just me, myself#
# Do it all the time #
# I wanna get by #
# And that's fine #
# Me, myself, myself and I|Just me, myself and I #
# Me, myself, myself and I|Just me, myself and I ##
Thanks for the I ift, Frank.|We'll take it from here. You got it, Mr. Stroog.
Here's my card. If you need|a ride, give me a shout-out.
Thanks.
[Man ]|Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Ron, your driver,|and I am Arthur, your tour guide.
So, what's the plan?.
When we get to Wolf's building,|we jump off, infiltrate his office,
make him admit|he stole my story.
That's it?. That's the lamest|plan I've ever heard.
Trust me.|It's gonna work.
[Tour Guide ]|So stay tuned.
This is the back lot where|many of our hit movies are made.
And speaking of movies, in just|a few days we're beginning filming...
next summer's smash sensation--|Come on, fol low me.
Big Fat Liar!
Excuse me, guard?.|Where's stage two?.
Security! Let's go!
Can I take a moment to say:|How totally awesome is this?.
[ Phone Rings ]|Marty Wolf Pictures.
Please hold.
Marty Wolf Pictures.|Please hold. Can I help you?.
We're here to see Marty Wolf.|Do you have|an appointment?.
I ask you,
Astrid,|what kind of sick world this is...
when children need an appointment|to see their own father?.
Mr. Wolf|doesn't have children.
- Not that he knows of.|- Shh.
Look, this is gonna be|an emotional reunion for all of us,
so once you let us in, you're probably gonna|wanna hold Papa's calls as well.
Mr. Wolf doesn't see anyone|without an appointment.
Marty Wolf Pictures.
No, she stepped away.
I'd love to take a message.|You've got it.
If you'd slow down--
Help me out.|Help me out.|No. No.
Help me out. Help me out.|Help me out. No. No. No. Okay.
Oh.
Marty Wolf Pictures.|One moment, please.
Operator.|Hi. Marty Wolf Pictures, please.
[ Panting, Barks ]|[Phone Rings ]
Marty Wolf Pictures.|Astrid Barker, please?.
Speaking.|This is Doris Del Rio down in parking.
- Do you drive a Saturn?|- Yes.
- Well, it's um--|- It's parked on a dog.
- I'm not gonna say that.|- Come on!
- Hello?.|- Your car's parked on a dog.
Your car is parked on a dog.
My car is parked on a dog?.
Yes, ma'am. In the tail area|to be more specific.
[ Gagging ]|It's gruesome, actually.
- Listen for yourself.|- [Jason Barking ]
[ Barking, Whining ]
Hang on, okay?.|I'm coming! Don't die!
Just stay! Keep breathing!|Think ofa happy place.
All right,|keep a lookout.
I'm sure this thing will be over|in just a few minutes.
[Phone Ringing]
[Ringing Continues ]
Marty Wolf Pictures.|Can I take a message?.
Mr. Wolf is about|to go into a meeting.
Uh-huh. San-- Sandler.|Mm-hmm.
[Wolf] We're not just looking|for my personal organizer, Monty.
That thing is my life!|Ifyou've lost it, then you've killed me.
Simple as that.|Draw a I i ne of chal k around me,|because I am dead!
[ Monty]|I understand that.|No, you don't.
You always say that.|No, you don't!
[Monty]|Did you check your jacket pocket?
What do I look like, a moron?.|No, if you remember|that one time--
Fine, Monty, fine.|If it'll make you happy, I'll check my jacket pocket.
It's in there.
[ Sighs ]
Uh, hello?. Excuse me.|Hey, how's it goin'?.
Ah, who are you?.|Jason Shepherd.
Remember me?.|I wrote Big Fat Liar.
Ah-- [ Laughs ]
Monty, hold my calls.
Give me a few minutes alone|here with Mr. Shepherd.
Well, well, well.
Jason Shepherd!|The young man from Greenbury, Michigan.
I must tell you,|this is quite a surprise.|What can I do for you, amigo?.
I want you to call my dad|and tell him you stole the story from me.
Call your dad?. Why?.
Because it's the truth, and you're|the only one he'll believe.
You traveled halfway|across the country...
to get me to call your dad|and tell him you did your homework?.
You make that phone call,|and you will never hear from me again.
- Okay.|- Really?.
Yup.
It's a great piece ofwork, kid.|And I'm not just blowing smoke.
I refer back to it whenever|I get in a bind on the script.
So you'll give it back to me|and make the phone call?.
Hey, you gave me my movie.|It's the very least I can do for you.
Hey...|you smoke cigars, hotshot?.
I'm... 1 4, Wolf.
All right, suit yourself.
Jason Shepherd|ofGreenbury, Michigan--
Ahh. It was a pleasure|doing business with ya.
- Oh! What have I done?.|- No! No!
Stand back, son! Let me try and|tamp it out with this lit cigar.
Oh, I seem to be|making matters worse.
Good move!
Hold on, help is on the way.
Stand back!
Oh! Ohhh.
You're sick!|You know that?.
All I wanted you to do was call my dad|and tell him I wrote that paper!
Or else what?. You gonna|shoot me with a spitball, hmm?.|Gonna give me a wedgie?.
Grow up, Shepherd!|This is Hollywood, baby.|It's a dog-eat-dog town.
Worse. We got cats eatin' cats.|We got fish munchin' fish.
We play by our own rules.|[ Chuckling ]
I am not leaving|until you make that call!
Oh, I'll make a call, all right.|Malone speaking.
Rocco, this is the Wolf.|Senda couple of your boys|down here. I got a Code "W"
Another angry writer|refusing to leave. Wolf out.
- I tried to play fai r, Wolf,|but you asked for it!|- [ Fake Whimpering ]
You asked for it. You don't|know who you're messing with!|Come on!
Thanks for holding.|Can you spell Soderbergh for me?.
Thanks, Steven.|I'll have Mr. Wolf return.|[Phone Ringing]
Marty Wolf Pictures.|[Jason ]|No,you don't understand!
Let go! I'm telling you.|It was my idea.
Oh, yeah, and I wrote|The Nutty Professor.|I heard it all before.
Uh... hi.
Hey, Astrid. Adam Sandler|called to set up a lunch.
I sent some flowers|to Meg Ryan 'cause she|sounded like she had a cold.
Oh, and I scheduled|a deep body massage for you at 3:.00.
You look like you can use|a little "you" time.
Thank you, kind stranger.
What can I say?.|This is Hollywood, Kaylee.|It's a fish-eat-fish town.
They play by their own rules out here.
Does that mean we're going home?.|We're going home... as soon as|Wolf admits he stole my story.
I'm not trying to be negative,|but didn't we just find out Wolf|isn't going to admit the truth?.
He'll do it.|How?.
'Cause I have his life|in the palm of my hand.|Great, so we're stealing now.
We're not stealing.|We're borrowing.
I've got Wolf's alarm codes,|credit card numbers, his schedule.
So?.|So this is awesome.
Give me one day and I'll figure out|a way to use this info against him.
I don't know,Jas.
I can't go home|until my dad knows the truth.
If you saw the way|he looked at me. It was like--
I don't know.|Like I wasn't his kid anymore.
Do you think your plan|might include food|and a place to sleep?.
The guard!|Let's get outta here!
Let's check out|that warehouse.
Looks like we found|our temporary home.
[Kaylee ]|Look at all this stuff.
Oh!
All right, Kay, we're gonna need|clothes and supplies.|Let's hunker down...
until the law dogs punch out,|and start racking up the merch.
What are you talking about?.
We'll stay here until closing time|and then we go shopping.
# The party's just begun#
# Everybody's having fun#
# Why don't we run away #
# And play some one-on-one #
# Let's find a place|just you and me #
# With no one around#
# Where we can be|who we wanna be #
# And no one brings us down #
# I, I wish|this night would never end#
# I, I wish|this night would never end#
# We're on our own|Just me and you #
# No one around#
# Where we can do|what we wanna do #
# I hope we're never found#
# I, I wish|this night would never end#
# I wish this night|would never end##
[ Knocking Sound]
J as?.
I 'm at the beach.
Hey, Frank. Mr. Stroog.|Meet us at the studio gate in 20.
- Hey.|- [ Panting ]
- What's with the Cokes?.|- The machine, it's rigged.|They're free.
[ Hysterical Laughing ]|They're free!
[Jason ] Good morning, Frank.|Let's get moving.
We've got furs to sell.|Yeah.
Fur coat king of|the Midwest, my butt!
I've got some R-rated|dialogue for you,|but I'm gonna keep it P.G.
I'm gonna keep it P.G.|You owe me $1 00|for yesterday's ride.
- Maybe--|- You almost cost me my job.
- I'm sorry, I can explain.|- D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D! Hear that?.
-Just--|- D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D!
- Maybe if we--|- I don't wanna hear it. Okay?.
- I know, I just--|- D-D-D-D-D-D-D!
- If you--|- D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D!
- If-- Don't--|- D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D!|D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D!
I'm sorry. It's just that|we came out here to get even|with this guy Marty Wolf.
- He stole my story. He's making|it into this big movie.|- Whoa.
- Did you just say MartyWolf?.|- Yeah. You know him?.
Know him?. I used to drive him.|He fired me last year.
- Why?.|- I'm an actor. See?.
Right? And I made the mistake|of asking him if I could|audition for one ofhis movies.
He could've said no|and not let me audition.
But instead he takes my head shot,|writes "loser" across my forehead,
and then faxes it to every|casting director in town.
You poor thing.
If you guys wanna mess|with Wolf, I got your back.
[Jason's Voice ]|Today, it's know the enemy time.
Right on schedule.
[Wolf] Okay, people, we begin|production in two days.
Dusty! El director.|First up's the big stunt.
I wanna start this shoot off|with a bang! I wanna blow them away|right out of the gate! Hit me!
- Rock and rol l, baby,|I am ready to party.|- Go!
Okay! Harumph! We open.|Twelve different camera angles.
Smoke ascending|from the streets of the city.
Kastang!|Birds descending from the heavens...
like winged messengers|from above, beckoning.
[ Wolf]|Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Confucius say,|"Easy does it, skippy."
I can barely afford one camera,|let alone twelve. And forget the birds.
Monty, talk to me|about the budget.
We're two million dollars over, and the|studio hasn't approved the new budget.
When are they supposed|to do that?.
Tomorrow morning you have a breakfast|meeting at Marcus Duncan's house.
[ Scoffing ] Oh. I have a breakfast|meeting at Marcus Duncan's house.
You can tell our little|vice president he can drag|his sorry butt to myplace...
if he wants to have a little sit-down|chin-wag with the Wolf Man.
Actually, sir,
he's not the V.P. anymore.
[ Clears Throat ]|He's the president.
I see. Well, um,
get his address,|we don't wanna be late now, do we?.
Next!
Now, for a big movie,|you need a big stunt.
And for a big stunt, you need|serious media coverage.
I'm talkin' TV, print,|that Internet crap, everything.
Now who's handling that?.|I am.
Jocelyn Davis,|senior V.P. of publicity.
Yeah?. Sure you're not senior V.P.|of Twinkies?. [ Chuckling ]
Ooh, funny.
I'll make sure the shoot|is well-covered.|Terrific!
Okay, people, meeting's over.|What's next, Monty?
Cool!|1 2:30, stunt demonstration.
- What do you think, Marty?. Nice, huh?.|- Perfect. What do you think?.
- Bam! Loved it.|- Yeah, but actually, I think...
I liked it better the first time|I saw it... in 1 942,
you dinosaur!
Vince, meet my new effects whiz,|Lester Golub.|Pleasure to meet--
Shh! Lester is going to design|the stunt on his iBook.
And your stunt guy's gonna do|whatever the computer tells him to do.
I don't need a computer|to show me how to do myjob.
Geek boy, ignore FatherTime|over here and get workin'.
From the looks of you, I'm sure|that you don't have a social life.
So you two will get together tomorrow|to finalize the details. Play nice.
I'm offtomorrow.|I'm taking a personal day.
I-- What was that?.
Personal day?. Wh-What|are you talking about, Vince?.|What's a personal day?.
I'm taking my granddaughter|to a birthday party.
- Ahh! Oh. May I?.|- Sure.
Oh, that is great!|Would you look at that!
Clown with the crazy hair!
Oh, man!
Man, that's fun.
See, this is the movie business,|Grandpa! The talkies!
You know?. You can take|your personal day in a year|or two when you're dead!
[Jason ] Today we learned|we're officially dealing|with the meanest man alive!
All right, colored dye.|Check.
MegaGlue.|Check.
Oh, my God.
Grandma Pearl. Bret must be|in a living hell right now.
[ Grunting ]
How many more, Kaylee?.
Fifty.|I gotta get ripped, baby.
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!|Feel no burn!
'Cause I'm the best, baby!|I'm the best!
You know, Grandma, you should think|about getting into shape yourself.
One more, Grandma!|One more, Grandma!
It's all you! I ain't helping!|Last one! Yeah!
[Phone Ringing]
[ Game Ringing, Beeping ]|[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Ringing ]|Hello?.
- Hey,Jas.|- Hey, Dad!
Just called to see|how you were doing.
- Um, doing good. You know,|staying out of trouble.|- What's that noise?.
Just doing this experiment|for science class, this thing|with ball bearings and bells.
Just wanted to check in 'cause|you looked upset when we left.|Yeah, about that, Dad.
I just want you to know,|I totally get what you said|about the whole trust thing.
I think when you get back,|you'll see I've been trying|really hard to earn it.
- Glad to hear it, pal.|- Good night, Dad.
- Night.|- Call forwarding. Gotta love it.
You really think|this is gonna work?.
One day. That's all it's gonna take.|Wolf's not gonna know what hit him.
Jas, little help here.
What about your parents?.|Think they'll call?.
They're in the middle|of the canyon. There's no phones.
Hey, thanks for|coming out here with me.
I came for the adventure,|remember?.
Right.
Anyway, we shouldget|some sleep.
- Tomorrow we launch phase two.|- Whoa!
[ Alarm Beeping ]
It's show time,|Mr. Funny bones.
[ Laughing ]|You cute little monkey, you!
[ Monkey Sounds ]
You!
## [ Humming ]|Look out! Pss! Pss! Pss!
"Ow!' Pss! Pss! Pss!|"Cut it out, Marty!
Hey, that kills, Marty."|[ Laughing ]
[ Sighs ]|Hungry!
# Dark in the city|Night is a wire#
# Steam in the subway|Earth is afire #
# Do-do-do-do|do-do-do-do-do, do-do #
# Woman you want me|Give me a sign #
# And catch my breathing|even closer behind#
# Do-do-do-do|do-do-do-do-do, do-do #
Mr. Earpiece,|meet Miss MegaGl ue.
# I'm on the hunt|I'm afteryou #
# Smell like I sound|I'm lost in a crowd#
# And I'm hungry|like the wolf#
# Straddle the line|in discord and rhyme #
# I'm on the hunt|I'm afteryou #
# Mouth is alive|with juices like wine #
# And I'm hungry|like the wolf#
# Stalked through the forest|too close to hide #
# I'll be upon you|by the moonlight sign #
# Do-do-do-do|do-do-do-do-do, do-do #
Let's dance, Funnybones!
# High blood drumming|on your skin, it's so tight #
# You feel my heat|I'm just a moment behind#
# Do-do-do-do|do-do-do-do-do, do-do ##
Oh, my God!
[ Ringing ]
Good morning.|Marty Wolf Pictures. This is Monty.
Monty! Charisma from|Marcus Duncan's office.
I'm temping for a second assistant.
I am so psyched you're there.|I was watching Charmed|on the W.B. last night...
and just as Alyssa Milano|was about to put a spell|on her demon boyfriend,
I had the biggest panic attack|that I forgot to give you|Duncan's new address.
Really?. I didn't know he moved.|That was quick.
Oh, yeah, in a big way. He bought|like the sickest pad in the 90210.
We're talking mondo bucks.|[Laughing]
Anyhoo, tell Mr. Wolf|that Duncan lives at...
867 North Maple Drive.
All right.|Thanks. Got it.
[ Phone Ringing ]|What?.
It's Monty. I'm glad I caught you.|Duncan moved.
Cancel the meeting.
And get one of the makeup chicks|to meet me at the office.|This is an emergency.
No, no. You cannot cancel|the meeting.
If Duncan doesn't approve|the new budget, we can't|start shooting tomorrow.
[ Laughing ] I don't think|you understand, Monty. I'm blue.
Aw, come on.|Now, we all have our off days.
[ Laughing ]
No, I mean I'm literally--
And I've got orange--|[ Groans ]
Come on, Wolf Man.
Okay, forget it.
Give me his address.|I'll figure something out.
867 North Maple.
Copy that.
Did you come up with an ending|for the scriptyet?.
I'm working on it.
I'm headed across the lot|to do some research, but...|I could use a little help.
Monty, I am writing and producing|a major motion picture.
I don't have time to work on|the script! That's your job.
Now, stop wasting time|and get to work!
I'm 24 hours away from the most|important shoot of my career.
Wolf out!|Ow! Oh, G--
- Get glasses, Grandma!|- Upyours, blue boy!
Aah.
[ Car Lock Chirps ]
- Yeah, I'm, uh--|- [ Speaking Spanish ]
Uh-huh.
Got the alarm codes?|I'm all over it.
Rough. Sister,|I invented the word rough.
Duncan will be eating|sugar cubes out of my hand by|the time I'm finished with him.
Right.
What the--
It's the clown! Let's hurt him!|[ Yelling ]
Excuse me--
- [ Screaming ]|- I need backup!
[Boy]|Incoming!
[ All Yelling ]
I'm a very powerful|Hollywood producer!
What am I doing here?|Don't touch that, don't|touch that, don't touch--
You kids are all gonna|be hearing from my lawyer!|Don't let him get away!
Get off of me!|You wanna dance, kid?. Let's dance!
You want a piece of me?.|You want a piece of me?.
You're going down, clown!
Good, bring it! I'm Marty Wolf!.|You have any idea who I am?.
Come on, four eyes, huh?.
Hey, head's up, clown!
- [ Yelling ]|- [ Yelling ]
[Boy]|You're not even funny, clown!
[ Line Ringing ] Hello?.|Monty, where the hell|did you send me?.
Because it sure|wasn't Duncan's house!|How was I supposed to know?.
Don't speak,just listen.|Whatever you do, you gotta|get me in there with Duncan!
I'll just reschedule|the meeting, Marty! Geez!
Okay. That's all|you had to say.
Adios, sugarpuff!.|[ Shouts ]
[ Horn Honking ]|Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- What the--|- [ Honking Stops ]
[ Horn Honks Three Times ]
[ Sighs ]
## [ Car Radio: Loud Rock ]
## [Rock Continues ]
Stop!
[ Alarm Blaring ]
Hey, Marty, I like your new coloring.|It works foryou.
You did this?.|Yup.
And it can end anytime.|All you have to do is make|one phone call to my dad.
Shouldn't be much of a|problem since that headset|is superglued toyour ear!
Here's my dad's number.
Hi.
Call me.|Bye-bye.
Rotten kids!
[ Horn Honking,|Alarm Blaring ]
Shepherd!
[ Alarm Blaring,|Loud Rock Blaring ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[ Horn Honks ]
- That's it!|- [ Noises Stop ]
Oh... my... God!
I'm gonna kill you!|Take it easy, man.|It wasn't my fault.
- The oldbag rear-endedme.|- Eat my boobies, blue boy!
That's very nice. That's really charming|from a woman of your advanced years.
Have a nice day!|It's just the tire.
You're gonna pay for this!
All right, listen... "Masher"|I'm sure we can come to|some monetary arrangement.
Yeah, that's what I thought,|tough guy!
- Who's the tough guy now, pal?.|- [ Tires Squealing ]
Oh, no. Come on.
No, dude, no.|Back off, man! No way!
[Screaming]
Two meetings in a row, Monty.
This is not the way to get on|the new president's good side.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sure there must be|some explanation.
They told me to pick up|a little blue car.
They didn't say anything about|a little blue man!
[Laughing]
[ Phone Rings ]|You got the Wolf.
Where are you?.|I am at Duncan's office right now!
I'm, uh--|I'm not gonna make it.
You, uh, tell him it's|your fault and reschedule.
I am not gonna lie to the new|president ofthe studio, Marty.
Don't get all high and mighty|on me, Monty, 'cause if |I go down, you're ridin' shotgun,
Tootsie Roll-- now,|make something up!
And I'll smooth things over|with him at the premiere.
- Fine.|- Wolf, out!
Hi, everybody. I'm Pat O'Brien,|and welcome to Tinseltown.
Well, here we are again,|this time at the world premiere|of producer Marty Wolf's...
action comedy,|Whitaker and Fowl.
So this must be a very|exciting evening for you.
Oh, yes! You know, it's just good|to get the past behind me...
and finally be taken|seriously as an actor.
Can I give a shout-out?.|Oh, my God,|it's the chicken!
[ Clucking ]
[ Crowd Clamoring, Applauding ]|Whitaker, over here!
Well, it looks like all of Hollywood|has turned out for this one.
But the question is,|where is Marty Wolf?.
Oh!|[ Woman ]|Oh, sweet Moses!
What is that?|Don't look in his eyes.
- Hey there, Marty.|- H-Hi!
Ready to end this?.
[ Laughs ]|Oh, kid.
You have no idea|who you are dealing with.
You think I care about|a couple of little pranks?. Nah.
[ Laughs ]|See you around, Shepherd.
[Phone Dialing]
[Phone Ringing]|Hello?.
This is J-Dog calling K-Bird.|Repeat,J-Dog calling K-Bird.
-Jas, is that you?.|- Yeah. I'm using code names.
Wolf didn't throw in the towel.|We're moving into phase three.
- What's phase three?.|- We're goin' to our first|Hollywood soiree.
I didn't know what to expect,|but all ofa sudden|it's like bam! Bad movie!
Can you say "boring"?.
Like when you did Saved by|the Bell. Quality, okay?.
I mean, substance.|Worst film in the world.
[ Whitaker Clucking,|Guests Chattering]
Whoa! There he is!
El Presidente.|## [ Humming "Hail to the Chief" ]
Ah. And his wife,|the very lovely Shaniqua.
It's Shandra.|Great to see ya.
Well?. I mean, I think|they loved it! Don'tyou?.
I think that sad excuse for a movie|just lost the studio $30 million.
I'm pulling the plug|on Big Fat Liar.
- What?.|- It's over, Wolf.
Look,just hear me out.
The truth is-- Would you|excuse us please, Shananny?.
The truth is, I missed those|meetings because I had...
an incredible breakthrough on B.F.L.,|which I was working on all day,
and I wanted to wait until we were|in front of the entire industry...
to make mypresentation.
One chance, Wolf,|that's all I'm givin' you.|And that's all I need.
Strap on your seat belt,|Dr. Duncanstein,
because you are|about to be blown away.
- Monty!|- Sorry. Marty!
God! What's going on?.
What is this big presentation|you're giving about the movie?.
I have no idea! None!
None. It is--|[ Blows Raspberry]
- I can help you.|- [ Gasps ]
Why do you keep|showing up in my life?.
Sounds like you need to come up with|some big idea for Big Fat Liar. Right?.
What?.
Some ten-year-oldkidis gonna|tell me how to fix my entire movie?
First of all, I'm 1 4.|Second of all, I created the story.
You think I can't at least|come up with a few good twists?
- Uh-huh.|- No--
You mean that this kid|really did write Big Fat Liar?
Uh-- No, he wrote|a little English paper...
with the same title--|big deal.
I-It's-- It--|Uh--
He's--
- Don't do it,Jason.|- Kid.
I swear to you,|you get me out of this mess,
and I'll tell your dad|you wrote Big Fat Liar,
Erin Brockovich and|Saving Private Ryan too.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
Friends! Uh, if I can have your|attention for just a moment, please?.
You're all probably wondering|why I'm blue and orange.
[ Everyone Laughs ]|Just go with me for a second.
You see, uh, Big Fat Liar.
B.F.L. " Bfl "|as it's come to be known,
is full of action, romance,|effects-- oh,you bet!
But what it lacks right now|is a message.
Trooper's girlfriend makes|this new potion which is|supposed to make him shrink.
[ In Earpiece ] But instead,|it causes him to change color.
[ Faking A Cough ] Why?.|Because now, the twist is...
he can't even lie|about his feelings anymore.
You see, his girlfriend, Penny,|she makes Trooper an antidote...
which, instead of curing him-- whoa--|causes him to change colors.
When he's bummed out|about stuff, he turns blue.
- When depressed, he turns blue.|- When he's mad, his hair turns red.
When he's angry, boom!
His curly locks turn the color|of a flaming brushfire!
But when he discovers the ultimate|truth that he's in love with Penny,
the softest shade of pink...
finds its wayacross his visage.
I didn't tell him to say that!
Wolf, what are you doing?.|You're not listening to me.
Just stick to the plan--|[ Yelps ]
I'm sorry. The emotions|in this movie are just so painful.
They are painful because--
'cause they hit home,|right here... in the old corazon.
Who among us hasn't told|a little white lie?|I have.
Anybody else?. You?.|[Man ]|Guilty.
You?. It's all right,|don't be ashamed, brother,|because I am right there with you.
I am right there with you.
You're all right, man.|Because our picture...
looks the audience|right in the eye...
and says enough is enough!
Lying has gotta stop.
The truth and the truth alone|shall set you free!
Friends, God bless all of you.
God bless America,
and God bless Big Fat Liar!
[ Cheering ]
Very impressive, Marty.
Now, does this mean that you|will approve the budget?.|You start shooting tomorrow.
That's great.|But if anything, and I mean|anything, goes wrong,
your movie, your deal|at the studio...
and your career|will be over, you hear me?.
Okay.
Hey-o!|[ Laughs ]
Shepherd, you are|a genius, buddy! Huh?.|[ Imitating Punches Landing ]
You ready to make that call?.|Time to let my fingers|do the walking.
- Here's my dad's phone number.|- All right. Ah, Daddy.
Ah. Hello,|this is MartyWolf.
I am standing here in mykitchen|withJason Shepherd.
I'm lookin' at him as we speak.
And you better bring backup.|[ Phone Disconnects ]
What are you doing?. I thought|you were on the phone with my dad.
Oh, I was on the phone, all right,|but it ain't with your old man.
You're a real piece ofwork, Shepherd.|Who are you?.
Rocco Malone, head of security|for Marty Wolf Pictures.
Thanks for all your help,|kid. Really.
Savin' my butt twice in one year.|Who would've "thunk"it?
Let's go, kid. Come on,|you too, Punky Brewster.
You can't do this.|We have a witness!
Hey, first lesson in Hollywood,|sweetheart. Always get it in writing!
What a day!
Here's the deal. The two of you|are gonna get on a plane,
go back home, forget this|ever happened-- clear?.
Good. Let's go get|you two guys packed up, huh?.
I can't believe|we're just gonna give up.
You're Jason Shepherd.|You can get out of anything.
Come on. You must have|a phase four up your sleeve.
Yeah. I guess I do.
[Phone Dialing]
- Hello?.|- Dad?. It's Jason.
- Hey.|- I haven't--
I haven't been totally honest|about what I've been up to|the last couple of days.
And, uh, I think it's time|I told you the truth.
The truth?.|[ Sighs ]
Hey, Rocco. Hey.
Hey.
Why don't you head home?.|I'll take the kids to the airport.
- You sure?.|- Yeah. I was gonna be up all night...
rewriting Wolf's script anyway,|so it's no problem.
All right then. I'm gettin' too old|for this baby-sittin' anyway.
You take it easy.
Good night.|Good night.
You know what the worst part|of this whole thing is?.
Wolf is just going to keep|getting away with it.
He treats all these people|like dirt, and no one has|the guts to stand up to him.
- Forget it, Kaylee.|- I can't forget it.
It just makes me sick that your|parents are never gonna know|that you wrote that story.
What are we supposed to do?.|My parents are gonna be here|in the morning!
We tried everything.|It would take an army|to get Wolf to admit the truth.
I think I know where|we could find our troops.
- What areyou doing here?.|- I've been pushed around|by Wolffor too long.
Tomorrow his whole career|is on the line.
So you guys up|for one last fight?.
Jas?.
It's payback time.
Mmm. You've got to look good|for the first day of shooting.
Do you copy that, Mr. Funny bones?.
"That's a big 1 0-4, Marty!'
[ Laughs ]|Mmm. Whoo!
I brought you all here|tonight for two reasons.
"A" you're all the best|in your given fields.
And "B" you all|despise this man... a lot.
Gang, let's roll up our sleeves|and get to work.
Let's begin.|Your assignments.
Red team, you guys stall him|until my parents get to the set.
Oh! That's it. Oh!|One more! Oh! That's it!
Blue team, I need your help|in the distract and delay tactics.
Gold team, you guys are responsible|for the mental warfare.
In order to get what we need,|we are talking...
complete physical and|psycho-emotional breakdown, people.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.|- I want to see a broken man.
I'm talking broken like,
"Ooh, I just threw a baseball|through your window" broken.
Snap him like a twig.|Squeeze him like a bug.
I want you to turn him into mincemeat,|and I don't even know what mincemeat is!
I want him to scream|for his mommy: "Wah, wah!
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!'|Do you hear me?.
Do you read me?.|'Cause I don't think--
I... think they read you.|Fair enough.
Guys, I just got one thing to say.
It's show time.|It's show time.
From the studio?.|Yes, sir.
Don't I know you?.|Yeah, you do.
I'm Frank Jackson. I was your driver|last year until you fired me.
Fabulous! Oh!
Boy, the acting career|must really be taking off.
Bravo, Brando. Let's get movin'.|I don't wanna be late.
[ Phone Rings ]|Yeah.|Monty, it's me.
Oh, hey, Marty. Did you get|some rest for the big day?.
Ah, are you kidding me?.|I spent half the night with a scrub|brush and a can of turpentine.
But bye-bye, Little Boy Blue,|I am back!
Hey, pedal to the metal,|Ricky Retardo!
Got a movie to shoot.
Uh, I'm sorry, sir. There seems to be|something... wrong with the car.
[ Phone Disconnects ]
[ Sighs ]
I'm gonna fix it.
Hot smoke.|Very hot smoke! Oh.
What the hell is happening?.|Stay right there.
- What?.|- No, Mr. Wolf. Don't come up here.
We have a situation.|The carbide lateral valve...
is connected to the defibrillator,|and it'sjust actin' up.
And the point is, this thing could blow|any second, so you might wanna back up.
Back up, back up.|Okay. What are you saying?.
The engine's fried.|I need a backup car.
Are you kidding me?.|My movie starts shooting in an hour!
Mr. Wolf, please.|I would very much appreciate it|if you didn'tyell at me. Okay?.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.|I wanna do right--
[ Stammering ]|Don't! Don't touch, dude!
I just-- I--|Do not touch!
[Car Brakes Squealing]
Hey! Everything okay here?.
Urkel.Jaleel.
Oh, my God, my man. This is incredible.|You gotta get me outta here, buddy.
- Hop in.|- No, no!
Mr. Wolf, please, no.|Please, no.|It's locked.
My pincer--|Can you unlock--|No, no, no.
[ Stammering, Protesting ]|No, Mr. Wolf!. Please.|Drive!
Sayonara, loser.
[ Sobbing ]
F-Man to J-Dog. F-Man to J-Dog.|The baton has been passed.
Roger that, F-Man.|Well done.
Who's the bad actor now,|Mr. Wolf?. Those were real tears!
K-Bird, the baton|has been passed.
Got it.
Nice car!|TV money, baby.
Didn't wear those glasses and suspenders|all those years for free, dog.
That's a relief. Do you, uh--|Do you know where you're goin'?.
Takin' a shortcut. Look,|just throw your seat back|and relax, Wolf Man.
- You're in Jaleel's hands now.|- [ Laughs ]
Okay.|Whoo!
[ Yelps ] You did a fishtail!|That was a close one.
Oh, yeah!
##[Rap]|Yeah, baby!
Whoo! Yeah!|Where in the hell|are you taking me?.
I told you. I know a shortcut.|Through the desert?
Slow down, you maniac!|I'm gettin' out!
- It's your call, baby.|- I'm gonna do it.
- Do what you gotta do.|- I am gettin' out, pal.
Go!
## [Rap Continues ]|Not bad.|Yo,Jaleel at the wheel.
The condor has flown the coop.|Roger that,J-Dub.|Wait. What does that mean?.
Means I'm leavin' Wolf|in the middle ofthe desert.|Urkel is out! Whoo!
[ Grunts ]
[ Screams ]
[ Dialing ]
[ Phone Rings ]|Hello?.
Ah, Monty, it's me.
Oh, hey, Marty.|Is everything okay?.
No, no, no.|Everything is fine.
Except, uh, oh, yeah.|I'm stuck in the middle of the desert!
Do you hear what I am saying to you?.|The what?.
The desert!|You gotta get me outta here.
How?.|I don't care how, Monty!Just do it!
[ Disconnects ]
Ready to go Wolfhunting?.
I borrowed the chopper|from the shoot.
You're in good hands, Wolf.|I flew 49 combat missions in Vietnam.
All right. Save me|the sob story, Methuselah.
I already sat through Platoon.
Just get me to the set!
[ Laughs ]
# Right here|Right now#
# Right here|Right now #
# Right here|Right now #
- # Right here, right now #|- This is Father Time.|We're headed your way.
Roger that, F.T.
- They're airborne.|- Copy that.
Let's punch a hole in the sky,|Grandpa. Go, go, go!
Let's get a tail wind behind this bird,|old-timer. [ Whooping]
## [Rap ]
Brando to base. Brando to base.|The sheep has located the|Shepherds and we're coming home.
Yes!
[ Beeping ]
Oh, boy.
What's that?.|What's happening?.
One of our blades is jammed.|We're gonna have to do a forced evac.
What-- What are you|talking about?.
Come on, we gotta jump.|This bird is going down!
[ Beeping ]
Aah!
Are you kidding me?.|I wish I was.
You're gonna have to hold on tight.|We've only got one chute.
I hope it supports us both.
Wait! This is insanity!|Vince!
Have you done this before?.
Oh, don't worry, Wolf.|I'm a professional.
Granddad's been doin' this|a long, long time.
[ Laughs ]|Vince!
[Beeping Continues ]
This is Chopper One to Control.|Papa Bear and the Wolf|have left the building.
# Right here|Right now##
Not like this!|Oh, sweet God! Not like this!
Aaaah!
Ah. Hello, sir.
- Where's Wolf?.|- Uh, late.
Bad.
[Phone Ringing]
- Hello?.|- I'm on the lot, Monty!|I'll be there in a minute!
- Marty!|- I'm not lying.
Just stall Duncan another|second. Okay?. I'm coming.
- Hey, Wolf.|- How's it hangin', Shepherd?.
##[Western Showdown Theme ]
[ Funnybones Squeaks ]
[ Gasps ]
Gimme back my monkey.
- Come and get him.|- [ Sighs ]
You two! Good-bye!
I'm comin', Funnybones!
[ Yells ]
[ People Shouting ]
## ["Deck The Halls"]
Look out!
Come on!
Right behind ya, Shepherd!
## [Mexican ]
You can't out run the Wolf, kid!
Yeah, we'll see about that.
Hang on, Funnybones,|Daddy's coming!
He's all yours, Lester.
- [ Computer Beeps ]|- Activate water.
Aaah!
Who's the geek boy now?.|You spaz!
This is it, Monty. Ifhe's not here|in 60 seconds, this movie's over.
Right up there is where|the big stunt is taking place.
This way.
"Help! Come and rescue me, Marty."
Feet, don't fail me now.
[ Moans ]
Let go of the monkey.
- Call my dad.|- Never.
- Yes.|- No!
Ah! Gotcha, kid.
It's over.|You lose, and I win.
I don't think so, Wolf.|Oh, you don't think so?.
Come on,Jason.|You're smarter than that.
You write a story,|I steal it, and now I'm|about to start shooting...
the greatest movie|of my career.
So you admit|you stole my story?.
We've been over this.|It's ancient history.
Yeah, I stole your story!|Whoop-di-doodle-doo!|You happy now?.
I stoleJason Shepherd's paper|and turned it into Big Fat Liar!
You know who's listening, pal?.|Hmm?. No one.
And they never will.|So for the last time, give it up!
Because I will never, ever, ever--|like never, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever--|infinity--
tell the truth.|[ Blowing Raspberry ]
Because the truth's overrated, right?.
That's right!|[Man ]|And cut!
Huh?.
I told you, Wolf. The only way|to shoot this scene is from|1 2 different camera angles...
with birds flyin' around.
Oh, and, by the by,
Confucius say,|"Kastang, you're busted."
Rock 'n' roll, baby.
It's just like you wanted, Wolf.
The press is all here.
You stole the idea for this|movie from a 1 3-year-old boy?.
He's, um--
He's 1 4.
This is the end ofthe line, Wolf.
It's over.
[ Growls ]
Wolf, I wanna say thanks.
You taught me|a valuable lesson.
The truth:|It's not overrated.
[ Laughing ]
I am gonna get you, Shepherd!
[Screams ]
[ Applauding ]
You did all this just|to prove you weren't lying?.
I wanted to earn|your trust back, Dad.
You've earned it, buddy.|You've earned it.
Hey!
[ Laughs ]|We got a movie to shoot. Huh?.
Come on.|Let's make some magic.
The human hit factory|is ready to roll!
[ Laughs ]
Yeah, let's go home.
Hey, where do you think|you're going?.
You cannot turn your backs|on me!
I'm Marty Wolf!.|All right, fine!
Fine! You're all fired!
[Man]|You suck, Marty.
You, uh, certainly know|how to make an entrance.
What can I say?. I got big feet.
[ Laughs ]
You were right, Penny.|The truth: It's not overrated.
[Audience Applauding]
Whoo!
Oh, oh!
Congratulations.|It was incredible.
[ Rings ]
[ Sighs ]|It's show time.
Hey, kids.|I'm Wolfie the Clown.
Whoo! And, uh, "I'm Mr. Funnybones!|Happy birthday, Darren."
- Oh, my God!|- Oh, no.
Yo, Little Mash.|Show him your nutcracker.
[ Yells ]
- [ Kids Cheering ]|- [ Screaming ]
[ Groans ]
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back#
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Come on, ladies|rock the party #
# Shake your body, everybody #
# Come on, everybody #
# Let's move it all night #
# Uh, uh-huh #
# Gonna take you back|to the old school #
# Can you feel the vibe #
# Let's dance to the rhythm|and let me see you #
# Why you waste time #
# Uh, uh-huh #
#Jump back and do the twist #
# And the electric start|Hey #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Come on, fellows|start the party #
# Shake your body, everybody #
# Let's get funky|Do the same sound#
# Sing, 'cause we gonna get|on the floor and do it like this #
# Can anyone do|the chocolate bar #
# Like back in the days #
# Uh, uh-huh #
# We thought|we'd bring it to ya #
# For hummin'|Keep ya groovin', yeah #
# Uh, uh-huh #
# Well, I can see everybody|on the floor #
# Doin' the runnin'man #
# Uh, uh-huh #
# Do the mashed potato #
# Or walk the Philly dog ifyou can #
# Hey #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Come on, y'all|let's rock the party #
# Shake your body, everybody #
# Remember back in the days when we|used to just do the boogaloo #
# Everybody gets to rock|to the beat #
# SonnyJoe, pickin ' up dough #
# And everybody runs|to get down with the deejay #
# When he plays smooth music #
# Let's dip it, tip it|We went rockin'|We keep tippin'#
# Come on, baby|Let's rock this rock #
# We gonna get up on the dance floor|and do the Pee-wee Herman #
# So shake it up|and do the bus stop #
# And do the robot #
# And baby, do the rocket|Move it, man #
# Can you move it like this #
# L.A., Atlanta #
# Can you move it like this #
# New York, what's up #
# Can you move it like this #
# Seattle, Dallas and Houston #
# Can you move it like this #
# Baltimore and D. C. now #
# Can you move it like this #
# Tampa, do the dip now #
# Can you move it like this #
# Memphis, I knowyou do|the funky chicken #
# Can you move it like this #|# I can shake it like that #
# You know, you know, you know #|# Come on, y'all|let's rock the party #
# Shake your body, everybody #
#Japan|Japanese, you know #
# France|That's where we ought to go #
# London #
# I know you're doin'|the hitchhike #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this #
# I can shake it right back #
# Can you move it like this ##
# Canada, Australia ##
## [ Singing In Spanish ]
B-Happy
BBC - The Blue Planet (1 of 8) - Ocean World
BBC - The Blue Planet (2 of 8) - The Deep
BBC - The Blue Planet (3 of 8) - Open Ocean
BBC - The Blue Planet (4 of 8) - Frozen Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (5 of 8) - Seasonal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (6 of 8) - Coral Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (7 of 8) - Tidal Seas
BBC - The Blue Planet (8 of 8) - Coasts
Baader
Babi Leto - Autumn Spring (2002)
Baby Doll
Baby Geniuses 2 2004
Babylon 5 - 2x01 - Points of Departure
Babylon 5 - 2x02 - Revelations
Babylon 5 - 2x03 - The Geometry of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - A Distant Star
Babylon 5 - 2x04 - The Long Dark
Babylon 5 - 2x06 - Spider in the Web
Babylon 5 - 2x07 - Soul Mates
Babylon 5 - 2x08 - A Race Through Dark Places
Babylon 5 - 2x09 - The Coming of Shadows
Babylon 5 - 2x10 - Gropos
Babylon 5 - 2x11 - All Alone in the Night
Babylon 5 - 2x12 Acts of Sacrifice
Babylon 5 - 2x13 - Hunter Prey
Babylon 5 - 2x14 - There All the Honor Lies
Babylon 5 - 2x15 - And Now For A Word
Babylon 5 - 2x17 - Knives
Babylon 5 - 2x18 - Confessions and Lamentations
Babylon 5 - 2x19 - Divided Loyalties
Babylon 5 - 2x20 - The Long Twilight Struggle
Babylon 5 - 2x21 - Comes the Inquisitor
Babylon 5 - 2x22 - The Fall Of Night
Babylon 5 - 3x03 - A Day in the Strife
Babylon 5 - 3x05 - Voices of Authority
Babylon 5 - 3x06 - Dust to Dust
Babylon 5 - 3x07 - Exogenesis
Babylon 5 - 3x08 - Messages from Earth
Babylon 5 - 3x09 - Point of No Return
Babylon 5 - 3x10 - Severed Dreams
Babylon 5 - 3x11 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Babylon 5 - 3x12 - Sic Transit Vir
Babylon 5 - 3x13 - A Late Delivery From Avalon
Babylon 5 - 3x14 - Ship of Tears
Babylon 5 - 3x16 - War Without End (Part I)
Babylon 5 - 3x17 - War Without End (Part II)
Babylon 5 - 3x18 - Walkabout
Babylon 5 - 3x19 - Grey 17 is Missing
Babylon 5 - 3x20 - And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place
Babylon 5 - 3x21 - Shadow Dancing
Babylon 5 1x01 Midnight on the Firing Line
Babylon 5 1x02 Soul Hunter
Babylon 5 1x03 Born to the Purple
Babylon 5 1x04 Infection
Babylon 5 1x05 The Parliament of Dreams
Babylon 5 1x06 Mind War
Babylon 5 1x07 The War Prayer
Babylon 5 1x08 And The Sky Full Of Stars
Babylon 5 1x09 Deathwalker
Babylon 5 1x10 Believers
Babylon 5 1x11 Survivors
Babylon 5 1x12 By Any Means Necessary
Babylon 5 1x13 Signs and Portents
Babylon 5 1x14 TKO
Babylon 5 1x15 Grail
Babylon 5 1x16 Eyes
Babylon 5 1x17 Legacies
Babylon 5 1x18 A voice in the wilderness - Part 1
Babylon 5 1x19 A voice in the wilderness - Part 2
Babylon 5 1x20 Babylon squared
Babylon 5 1x21 The Quality Of Mercy
Babylon 5 1x22 Crysalis
Babylon 5 3x01 Matters of Honor
Babylon 5 4x01 - The Hour of the Wolf
Babylon 5 4x02 - What Ever Happened to Mr Garibaldi
Babylon 5 4x03 - The Summoning
Babylon 5 4x04 - Falling Towards Apotheosis
Babylon 5 4x05 - The Long Night
Babylon 5 4x06 - Into the Fire
Babylon 5 4x07 - Epiphanies
Babylon 5 4x08 - The Illusion of Truth
Babylon 5 4x09 - Atonement
Babylon 5 4x10 - Racing Mars
Babylon 5 4x11 - Lines of Communication
Babylon 5 4x12 - Conflicts of Interest
Babylon 5 4x13 - Rumors Bargains and Lies
Babylon 5 4x14 - Moments of Transition
Babylon 5 4x15 - No Surrender No Retreat
Babylon 5 4x16 - The Exercise of Vital Powers
Babylon 5 4x17 - The Face of the Enemy
Babylon 5 4x18 - Intersections in Real Time
Babylon 5 4x19 - Between the Darkness and the Light
Babylon 5 4x20 - Endgame
Babylon 5 4x21 - Rising Star
Babylon 5 4x22 - The Deconstruction of Falling Stars
Babys Day Out
Bachelor Party
Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer The
Back To Bataan
Back To The Future 1
Back To The Future 1 (dc)
Back To The Future 1 (hi)
Back To The Future 2
Back To The Future 2 (hi)
Back To The Future 3
Back To The Future 3 (hi)
Back to School (Alan Metter 1986)
Back to the Future II
Back to the Future III
Backfield in Motion
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD1
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD2
Bad Company
Bad Guy 2001
Bad Santa
Bad Santa (unrated)
Bad Seed The 1956
Bad Timing (Nicolas Roeg 1980)
Bad and the Beautiful The
Badboys II
Badlands
Baise Moi
Balanta 1992 (The Oak)
Ballad Of A Soldier 1959
Balseros 2002
Bamb
Bamba La (1987)
Bamboozled
Bananas
Banchikwang
Band of Brothers 01 - Currahee
Band of Brothers 02 - Day of Days
Band of Brothers 03 - Carentan
Band of Brothers 04 - Replacements
Band of Brothers 05 - Crossroads
Band of Brothers 06 - Bastogne
Band of Brothers 07 - The Breaking Point
Band of Brothers 08 - The Last Patrol
Band of Brothers 09 - Why We Fight
Band of Brothers 10 - Points
Band of Outsiders
Bande des quatre La 1988 CD1
Bande des quatre La 1988 CD2
Bao biao (1969) - Have sword Chang Cheh
Bao lian deng (1999)
Bar El Chino 2003
Baramui Fighter CD1
Baramui Fighter CD2
Baran
Barberella - A Queen Of The Galaxy
Bare Bea 2004
Barefoot Gen 1983
Barfly
Barocco
Barrabas
Barrio 1947 25fps
Basara The Princess 1992 CD1
Basara The Princess 1992 CD2
Basic Instinct
Batman - Mystery of the Batwoman
Batman - The Movie
Batman 1989 CD1
Batman 1989 CD2
Batman and Robin
Batoru Rowaioru II - Requiem (2003) CD1
Batoru Rowaioru II - Requiem (2003) CD2
Batteries Included
Battle Cry CD1
Battle Cry CD2
Battle Hymn 1957
Battle Royale (2000) Directors Cut CD1
Battle Royale (2000) Directors Cut CD2
Battle Royale 2 (2003)
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Battle of Algiers The (Gillo Pontecorvo 1965) CD1
Battle of Algiers The (Gillo Pontecorvo 1965) CD2
Battle of Britain CD1
Battle of Britain CD2
Battle of the Bulge CD1
Battle of the Bulge CD2
Battlefield Baseball
Battlefield Earth
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - 33
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Litmus
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Water
Battlestar Galactica 01x03 - Bastille Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x04 - Act of Contrition
Battlestar Galactica 01x05 - You Cant Go Home Again
Battlestar Galactica 01x07 - Six Degrees of Seperation
Battlestar Galactica 01x08 - Flesh and Bone
Battlestar Galactica 01x09 - Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Battlestar Galactica 01x10 - The Hand of God
Battlestar Galactica 01x11 - Colonial Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x12 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 1
Battlestar Galactica 01x13 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 2
Baxter 1989
Bazaar
Beach The
Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Beast Cops
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms The 1953
Beast Within The
Beast of War The
Beating Of The Butterflys Wings The 2000
Beatles Anthology The Episode1
Beatles Anthology The Episode2
Beatles Anthology The Episode3
Beatles Anthology The Episode4
Beatles Anthology The Episode5
Beatles Anthology The Episode6
Beatles Anthology The Episode7
Beatles Anthology The Episode8
Beatles Anthology The Special Features
Beatles The - A Hard Dayss Night
Beatles The First US Visit The
Beau Pere - Stepfather - Bertrand Blier 1981
Beautiful Creatures
Beautiful Girls
Beautiful Thing
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD1
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD2
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD3
Beautifull Mind A CD1
Beautifull Mind A CD2
Beauty And The Beast
Beauty and the Beast (Disney Special Platinum Edition)
Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)
Bedazzled
Bedford Incident The
Bedroom Key The CD1
Bedroom Key The CD2
Beethoven
Before Night Falls 2000 CD1
Before Night Falls 2000 CD2
Before Sunrise
Before Sunset 2004
Beguiled The
Behind Enemy Lines 2001
Behind The Sun (Walter Salles 2001)
Being John Malkovich
Being There (1979) CD1
Being There (1979) CD2
Belle Epoque CD1
Belle Epoque CD2
Belle and La Bete La (1946)
Bellinin And The Spynx CD1
Bellinin And The Spynx CD2
Bells Of St Marys The (1945)
Belly Of The Beast
Belly of an Architect The
Below
Belphegor
Ben-Hur CD1
Ben-Hur CD2
Bend It Like Beckham
Bend of the River 1952
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Benny and Joon
Bernie
Best years of our lives 1946
Bet on My Disco
Better Off Dead 1985
Better Than Chocolate
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD1
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD2
Better Tomorrow 3 A
Better Way To Die A
Betty
Between Heaven and Hell
Beverly Hillbillies The 1993
Beverly Hills Ninja
Beyond Borders CD1
Beyond Borders CD2
Beyond The
Beyond The Clouds
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD1
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD2
Biches Les (Claude Chabrol 1968)
Bicho de sete cabezas
Bichunmoo CD1
Bichunmoo CD2
Big
Big Blue The CD1
Big Blue The CD2
Big Bounce The
Big Chill The
Big Daddy
Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958)
Big Fat Liar
Big Fish 2003
Big Hit The
Big Lebowski The
Big Mommas House
Big Nihgt
Big Shot - A Confessions of a Campus Bookie 2002
Big Sleep The
Big clock The 1948
Big girls dont cry
Biker boyz
Billy Elliot
Billy Madison 1995
Biloxi blues
Bingwoo 2004 CD1
Bingwoo 2004 CD2
Bio Dome
Bio Hunter
Bio Zombie
Bionicle 2 A Legends of Metru-Nui
Bionicle Mask Of Light 2003
Birch Tree Meadow The
Bird People in China The 1998 CD1
Bird People in China The 1998 CD2
Bird on a wire
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD1
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD2
Bite the bullet
Bitter Sugar (Azucar amarga)
Black Angel
Black Sabbath
BlackAdder 1x1 - The Foretelling
BlackAdder 1x2 - Born to be King
BlackAdder 1x3 - The Archbishop
BlackAdder 1x4 - The Queen of Spains Beard
BlackAdder 1x5 - Witchsmeller Pursuivant
BlackAdder 1x6 - The Black Seal
BlackAdder 2x1 - Bells
BlackAdder 2x2 - Head
BlackAdder 2x3 - Potato
BlackAdder 2x4 - Money
BlackAdder 2x5 - Beer
BlackAdder 2x6 - Chains
BlackAdder 4x1 - Captain Cook
BlackAdder 4x2 - Corporal Punishment
BlackAdder 4x3 - Major Star
BlackAdder 4x4 - Private Plane
BlackAdder 4x5 - General Hospital
BlackAdder 4x6 - Goodbyeee
BlackAdder Christmas Carol 1988
BlackAdder The Cavalier Years
BlackAdder the Third 3x1
BlackAdder the Third 3x2
BlackAdder the Third 3x3
BlackAdder the Third 3x4
BlackAdder the Third 3x5
BlackAdder the Third 3x6
Black Adder V - Back and Forth
Black Christmas
Black Hawk Down
Black Knight
Black Mask
Black Mask 2
Black Orpheus
Black Rain CD1
Black Rain CD2
Black Sheep
Black Widow 1987
Black and White (1998)
Blackout The 1997 CD1
Blackout The 1997 CD2
Blacula
Blade
Blade 3 - Trinity
Blade Of Fury
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD1
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD2
Blade Runner Directors Cut
Blair Witch Project The
Blame It On Rio
Blast From The Past 1999
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Blazing Sun (1960) CD1
Blazing Sun (1960) CD2
Bleeder
Bless The Child
Blind Beast
Blind Chance (1987) CD1
Blind Chance (1987) CD2
Blind Spot Hitlers Secretary (2002)
Blind date
Bliss
Blob The 1988
Blood Crime
Blood Wedding (1981)
Blood Work
Blood and Black Lace
Blow 2001 CD1
Blow 2001 CD2
Blow Dry 2001
Blown Away 1994 CD1
Blown Away 1994 CD2
Blue (Derek Jarman)
Blue Car
Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie
Blue Max The CD1
Blue Max The CD2
Blue Moon
Blue Planet The 1
Blue Planet The 2 - The Deep
Blue Planet The 3 - Open Ocean
Blue Planet The 4 - Frozen Seas
Blue Spring 2001
Blue Velvet
Blue juice 1995
Blue thunder
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD1
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD2
Blues Harp
Boat Trip - Feedback Overflow
Bob Le Flambeur 1955
Bob Marley Story - Rebel Music
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body Double
Body Heat
Body The
Boiler Room
Bola El
Bone Collector The
Bonnie and Clyde
Book of Fate The
Book of Pooh The
Boondock Saints The
Boot Das 1981 CD1
Boot Das 1981 CD2
Born Romantic
Boucher Le
Bounce
Bourne supremacy The-1CD
Boxcar Bertha
Boy Who Saw The Wind The
Boys and Girls
Boyz N the Hood
Branca de Neve
Bread and Roses
Breakfast Club The
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Breakin all the rules
Breaking Away
Bride with White Hair The
Bridge Man The CD1
Bridge Man The CD2
Bright Future
Broadway Danny Rose
Brother (Takeshi Kitano)
Brother Sun Sister Moon 1972
Brother from Another Planet The 1984
Brotherhood Of The Wolf
Brothers The
Buddy
Buena Estrella La (Lucky Star)
Buffalo Soldiers
Bug 1975
Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Big Top Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid (1942)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears (1944)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs and Thugs (1954)
Bugs Bunny - Bully for Bugs (1953)
Bugs Bunny - Frigid Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - Hair-Raising Hare (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Haredevil Hare (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Long Haired Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - My Bunny Lies Over the Sea (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Rabbits Kin (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Tortoise Wins by a Hare (1943)
Bugs Bunny - Wabbit Twouble (1941)
Bugs Bunny - Water Water Every Hare (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Whats Up Doc (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Fire (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
Bugs Bunny and Elmer - Rabbit of Seville (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Taz - Devil May Hare (1954)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Ballot Box Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Big House Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - High Diving Hare (1949)
Bugs Life A
Bullet Ballet
Bullet in the Head
Bulletproof Monk 2003
Bullets Over Broadway
Bully (Unrated Theatrical Edition)
Burning Paradise (Ringo Lam 1994)
Burnt Money
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid A Special Edition
Butchers Wife The