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BlackAdder the Third 3x6

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Mr Blackadder...
Leave me alone Baldrick. If I'd wanted to talk to|a vegetable I'd have bought one at the market.
- Don't you want this message?|- No, thank you.
God, I'm wasted here.|It's no life for a man of noble blood
being servant to a master with the intellect of a|jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty.
I'm wasted too.|I've been thinking of bettering myself.
I applied for the job|of village idiot of Kensington.
- Get anywhere?|- I got down to the last two.
- But I failed the final interview.|- What went wrong?
I turned up.|The other bloke was such an idiot he forgot to.
I'm afraid my ambitions stretch slightly further|than professional idiocy in West London.
I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want|books written about me, songs sung about me.
And then, hundreds of years from now,|I want episodes from my life
to be played out weekly at half past nine|by some great heroic actor of the age.
Yeah, and I could be played|by some tiny tit in a beard.
- Quite. Now, what's this message?|- I thought you didn't want it.
- I may do. It depends what it is.|- So you do want it?
- Well, I don't know, do I? It depends what it is.|- I can't tell you unless you want to know.
Now I'm so confused I don't know|where I live or what my name is.
Your name is of no importance and you live|in the pipe in the upstairs water-closet.
Was the man who gave you this, by any chance,|a red-headed lunatic with a kilt and a claymore?
Yeah, and the funny thing is,|he looked exactly like you.
My mad cousin McAdder. The most dangerous|man ever to wear a skirt in Europe.
Yeah, he came in here playing the bagpipes,
then he made a haggis, sang Auld Lang Syne|and punched me in the face.
- Why?|- I called him a knock-kneed Scottish pillock.
An unwise action, Baldrick,|since Mad McAdder is a homicidal maniac.
My mother told me to stand up|to homicidal maniacs.
If this is the same mother who claimed|that you were a tall, handsome, stallion of a man,
- I should treat her opinions with caution.|- I love my mum.
And I love chops and sauce,|but I don't seek their advice.
I hate it when McAdder turns up. He's such a|frog-eyed, beetle-browed basket-case.
- He's the spitting image of you.|- No, he's not!
We're about as similar|as two completely dissimilar things in a pod.
What's the old tartan throw-back|banging on about this time?
"Have come South for rebellion."|Oh, God. Surprise, surprise.
"Staying with Miggins...|the time has come... best sword in Scotland...
insurrection... blood... large bowl of porridge...|rightful claim to throne..."
He's mad. He's mad.
He's madder than Mad Jack McMad the winner|of last year's Mr Madman competition.
(BELL RINGS)
Ah! The walrus awakes.
Blackadder, notice anything unusual?
Yes, sir, it's 11:30 in the morning|and you're moving about.
Is the bed on fire?
Well, I wouldn't know,|I've been out all night.
Guess what I've been doing? Wraaarrhhh...
- Beagling, sir?|- Better even than that.
Sink me, Blackadder, if I haven't just had|the most wonderful evening of my life.
Tell me all, sir.
As you know, when I set out I looked divine.|At the party, as I passed, all eyes turned.
- And I dare say, quite a few stomachs.|- Well, that's right.
And then these two ravishing beauties|came up to me and whispered in my ear
that they loved me.
- And what happened after you woke up?|- This was no dream, Blackadder.
Five minutes later I was in a coach flying through|the London night bound for the ladies' home.
And which ladies' home is this? A home for the|elderly or a home for the mentally disadvantaged?
No, no, no.|This was Apsley House. Do you know it?
Yes, sir. It is the seat of the Duke of Wellington.|Those ladies, I fancy, would be his nieces.
Oh, so you fancy them too?|Well, I don't blame you.
I spent a night of ecstasy|with a pair of Wellingtons and I loved it.
Sir, it may interest you to know|that the Iron Duke has always let it be known
that he will kill in cold blood anyone who takes|sexual advantage of any of his relatives.
Yes, but big-nose Wellington is in Spain|fighting the French - he'll never know.
On the contrary, sir.|Wellington triumphed six months ago.
- I'm dead.|- It would seem so, sir.
- I haven't got a prayer, have I, Blackadder?|- Against throat-slasher Wellington,
the finest blade His Majesty commands?|Not really, no.
Then I shall flee.|How's your French, Blackadder?
Parfait, monsieur.|But I fear France will not be far enough.
- Well, how's your Mongolian?|- Mmm, chang hatang motzo motzo.
But I fear Wellington is a close personal friend|of the chief Mongol. They were at Eton together.
I'm doomed. Doomed as the dodo.
(KNOCKING)|Oh, my God, he's here, Wellington's here already!
Oh, Your Grace, forgive me. I didn't know what I|was doing. I was a mad, sexually overactive fool.
Sir, it's Baldrick. You're perfectly safe.
Hurrah!
- Until six o'clock tonight.|- Hurrooh.
From the Supreme Commander,|Allied Forces Europe.
"Sir, prince or pauper, when a man|soils a Wellington he puts his foot in it.
This is not a joke. I do not find my name|remotely funny, and people who do, end up dead.
I challenge you to a duel tonight|at eighteen hundred hours in which you will die.
Yours, with sincere apologies for your impending|slaughter, Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington."
Sounds a nice, polite sort of bloke.
(GEORGE WHIMPERS)
Don't worry, sir, please.|Just consider that life is a valley of woe
filled with pain, misery, hunger and despair.
Not for me. As far as I'm concerned life is|a big palace full of food, drink and comfy sofas.
- May I speak, sir?|- Certainly not, Baldrick!
The Prince is about to die.|The last thing he wants to do
is exchange pleasantries|with a certified plum-duff.
Easy, Blackadder, let's hear him out.
Very well, Baldrick.|We shall hear you out, then throw you out.
Well, Your Majesty, I have a cunning plan|which could get you out of this problem.
Don't listen to him, sir.|It's a cruel proletarian trick to raise your hopes.
I shall have him shot the moment|he's finished clearing away your breakfast.
No, wait. Perhaps this disgusting degraded|creature is some sort of blessing in disguise.
Well, if he is, it's a very good disguise.
After all, did not our Lord send a lowly|earthworm to comfort Moses in his torment?
No.
Well, it's the sort of thing he might have|done. Well, come on, Mr Spotty, speak.
Well, Your Majesty, I just thought -|this Wellington bloke's been in Europe for years.
He don't know what you looks like.
So why don't you get someone else|to fight the duel instead of you?
But I'm the Prince Regent!|My portrait hangs on every wall!
Answer that, Baldrick.
My cousin Bert Baldrick,|Mr Gainsborough's butler's dogsbody,
he says that all portraits look the same these|days, 'cause they're painted to a romantic ideal,
rather than as a true depiction of the idiosyncratic|facial qualities of the person in question.
Your cousin Bert obviously has|a larger vocabulary than you do, Baldrick.
He's right, damn him! Anybody could fight|the duel and Wellers would never know.
Baldrick's plan does seem to hinge on finding|someone willing to commit suicide on your behalf.
Yes, but he would be fabulously rewarded.
- Money, titles, castles...|- Coffin.
That's right, I thought maybe Mr Blackadder|himself would fancy the job.
What a splendid idea!
Excuse me, Your Highness.|Trouble with the staff.
Baldrick, does it have to be this way?
Our valued friendship ending|with me cutting you into long strips
and telling the Prince that you walked over a very|sharp cattle-grid in an extremely heavy hat?
Mr Blackadder, you was only just saying|in the kitchen how you wanted to rise again.
But, tiny, tiny brain, the Iron Duke will kill me.
To even think about taking him on you'd have|to be some kind of homicidal maniac
who was fantastically good at fighting,|like McAdder...
McAdder could fight the duel for me!
My apologies, sir. I was just having a word|with my insurance people.
Obviously I would be delighted|to die on your behalf.
God's toenails, Blackadder, I'm most damnably|grateful. You won't regret this you know.
Well, that's excellent. There's just one point,|though, sir, re: the suicide policy.
There is an unusual clause which states|that the policyholder must wear a big red wig
and affect a Scottish accent in the combat zone.
Small print, eh?
Ah, Mrs Miggins. Am I to gather|from your look of pie-eyed exhaustion
and the globules of porridge hanging off the walls
that my cousin McAdder|has presented his credentials?
Oh yes, indeed, sir. You've just missed him.
- I hope he's been practising with his claymore.|- Oh, I should say so!
I'm as weary as a dog with no legs|that's just climbed Ben Nevis.
A claymore is a sword, Mrs Miggins.
See this intricate wood carving|of the infant Samuel at prayer?
He whittled that with the tip of his|mighty weapon with his eyes closed.
Yes, exquisite.
He bid me bite on a plank,|there was a whirlwind of steel,
and within a minute three men lay dead|and I had a lovely new set of gnashers.
Just tell him to meet me here at five o'clock|to discuss an extremely cunning plan.
If all goes well, by tomorrow the clan of McAdder|will be marching the high road back to glory.
I'll do you a nice packed lunch.
Good news, Your Highness.
This evening I will carve the Duke into a piece|of furniture with some excellent dental work.
Your Highness? Your Highness!
Oh, thank God it's you, Blackadder.
I've just had word from Wellington,|he's on his way here now.
The Duke must believe from the very start|that I am you.
- Any ideas?|- There's no alternative, we must swap clothes.
Fantastic, yes, dressing up. I love it.
It's just like that story,|"The Prince And The Porpoise".
"..and the Pauper"
Oh, yes!|"The Prince and the Porpoise and the Pauper".
Excellent, excellent.|Why, my own father wouldn't recognise me.
Your own father never can. He's mad.
Unfortunately, sir, you do realise|that I shall have to treat you like a servant?
Oh, I think I can cope with that, Blackadder.
And you will have to get used to calling me|"Your Highness", Your Highness.
- "Your Highness, Your Highness."|- No, just "Your Highness", Your Highness.
That's what I said, "Your Highness,|Your Highness", Your Highness, Your Highness.
Yes, let's just leave that for now, shall we?|Complicated stuff obviously.
Big Nose is here...
- But what? Who? Where? How?|- Don't even try to work it out, Baldrick.
Two people you know well have exchanged coats|and now you don't know which is which.
I must say I'm pretty confused myself!|Which one of us is Wellington?
Wellington is the man at the door.
And the porpoise?
Hasn't arrived yet, sir.|We'll just have to fill in as best we can without it.
- Sir, if you would let the Duke in.|- Certainly, Your Highness, Your Highness.
And you'd better get out too, Baldrick.
Yes, Your Highness, Your Highness.
Oh, God!|If only they had a brain cell between them.
The Duke of Wellington!
Have I the honour|of addressing the Prince Regent, sir?
You do.
Congratulations, Highness,|your bearing is far nobler than I'd been informed.
Take my hat at once, sir, and be quicker|about it than you were with the door!
- Yes, my Lord.|- I'm a Duke, not a Lord!
Where were you trained, a dago dancing class?|Shall I have my people thrash him for you?
No, he's very new.|At the moment I'm sparing the rod.
Fatal error. Give them an inch|and before you know it they've got a foot,
much more than that|and you don't have a leg to stand on.
Get out!
Now, sir, to business.
I am informed that your royal father|grows ever more eccentric
and at present believes himself to be|"a small village in Lincolnshire,
commanding spectacular views|of the Nene valley."
I therefore pass my full account of the war|on to you, the Prince of Wales.
"We won." Signed Wellington.
Well, that seems to sum it up very well.|Was there anything else?
Two other trifling affairs, sir.|The men had a whip-round and got you this.
Well, what I mean is, I had the men|roundly whipped until they got you this.
It's a cigarillo-case engraved with the regimental|crest of two crossed dead Frenchmen,
emblazoned on a mound|of dead Frenchmen motif.
Thank you very much.|And the other trifling thing?
- Your impending death, Highness.|- Yes, of course, mind like a sieve.
I can not deny I'm looking forward to it.
Britain has the finest trade,|the finest armies, the finest navies in the world.
And what do we have for royalty?|A mad Kraut sausage sucker
and a son who can't keep|his own sausage to himself.
- The sooner you're dead the better.|- You're very kind.
Now, you're no doubt anxious|to catch up with the news of the war.
I have here the most recent briefs|from my general in the field.
Yes, well if you could just pop them|in the laundry basket on the way out. Tea?
Yes, immediately.
Now, let's turn to the second front, my Lord.
Now, as I understand it,|Napoleon is in North Africa.
- And Nelson is stationed in...|- Alaska, Your Highness.
In case Bony should try and trick us|by coming via the North Pole.
Perhaps a preferable stratagem, Your Grace,|might be to harry him amid-ships
as he leaves the Mediterranean.|Trafalgar might be quite a good spot.
Trafalgar? Well, I'll mention it to Nelson.
I'm beginning to regret|the necessity of killing you, Your Highness.
I'd been told by everybody|that the Prince was a confounded moron.
- Oh, no.|- Here's that tiresome servant of yours again.
Budge up, budge up.
How dare you|sit in the presence of your betters! Get up!
- Cripes, yes, I forgot.|- You speak when you're spoken to.
Unless you want to be flayed|across a gun carriage. Well?
Sir, I fear you have been too long a soldier. We no|longer treat servants that way in London society.
- Why, I hardly touched the man!|- I think you hit him very hard.
Nonsense! That would have been a hard hit.
I just hit him like that.
No, sir, a soft hit would be like this.
Whereas you hit him like this.
Please, um, I wonder if I might be excused,|Your Highness, Your Highness.
Certainly.
I'm sorry about that, sir,|but one has to keep up the pretence.
- I quite understand. You carry on the good work.|- Very well, sir.
Hang on, this is bloody coffee! I ordered tea!
You really are a confounded fool, aren't you?
I'd heard that the Prince was an imbecile, whereas|his servant Blackadder was respected about town.
Now that I discover the truth,|I'm disposed to beat you to death. Tea!
Tell me, do you ever stop bullying|and shouting at the lower orders?
Never! There's only one way to win a|campaign: shout, shout and shout again!
You don't think then that inspired leadership|and tactical ability have anything to do with it?
No! It's all down to shouting.
(ROARS)
I hear that conditions in your army are appalling.
Well, I'm sorry, but those are my conditions|and you'll just have to accept them.
That is until this evening|when I shall kill you.
- Who knows, maybe I shall kill you.|- Nonsense.
I've never been so much as scratched,|my skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom.
Which is more than you can say for my bottom.
One point, sir. I should, perhaps,|warn you that while duelling
I tend to put on my lucky wig|and regimental accent.
That won't help you.
It would take a homicidal maniac|in a claymore and a kilt to get the better of me.
Well, that's handy.
I'm not leaving this kitchen|until that man is out of the house.
(KNOCKING)
It's all right, Your Majesty,|don't worry, I'll deal with this.
Hello, Baldrick. I've brought your buns.|Where's Mr Blackadder?
Oh, not upstairs still, running about after that|port-swilling, tadpole-brained smelly-boots?
- I don't know who you mean.|- Prince George, Baldrick.
His boots smell so bad a man would need to have|his nose amputated before taking them off.
- Well, that's what Mr Blackadder says.|- As a joke.
Didn't you write a little poem|about him last week?
- No, I didn't.|- Oh, you did.
"In the winter it's cool, in the summer it's hot,|but all the year round, Prince George is a clot."
A lovely.|I said Prince George is a lovely.
I'd better be off anyway. Tell Mr Blackadder|to expect Mr McAdder at five o'clock.
As soon as that fat Prussian truffle-pig has got|his snout wedged into a bucket of tea-cakes.
It must be next door you're wanting,
strange woman|whom I've never seen before, Mrs Miggins.
Baldrick! Is it true?
Did you really write a poem|about how lovely I am?
Yes, and Mr Blackadder loves you too.
I must say I find that very touching. I do.|(BELL RINGS)
I wish they wouldn't keep on doing that.
Goodbye, sir.|And may the best man win - i.e. me.
- Your tea, sir.|- You're late!
Where the hell have you been for it? India?
- Or Ceylon?|- Or China?
Don't bother to show me the way out. I don't want|to die of old age before I get to the front door.
Ah! Miggins. So where's McAdder?|I thought he was going to be here at five o'clock.
Yes, I'm sorry. He's just popped out.
You look ever so similar to each other,|you know, it's quite eerie.
- Look, did you tell him to be here or not?|- I did, you just keep missing each other.
- I can't imagine why.|- I'll tell you why!
It's because there's no coffee shop in England|big enough for two Blackadders.
Ah! Good day, cousin McAdder.|I trust you are well.
Aye, well enough.
- And Morag?|- She bides fine.
And how stands that mighty army,|the clan McAdder?
They're both well.
I always thought|that Jamie and Angus were such fine boys.
- Angus is a girl.|- Of course.
So, tell me, cousin,|I hear you have a cunning plan.
I do, I do.
I want you to take the place of the Prince Regent|and kill the Duke of Wellington in a duel.
- Aye, and what's in it for me?|- Enough cash to buy the Outer Hebrides.
- What do you think?|- Fourteen shillings and sixpence?
Well, it's tempting.|But I've got an even better plan.
Why don't I pretend to be the Duke of Wellington|and kill the Prince of Wales in a duel?
Then I could kill the King and be crowned|with the ancient stone bonnet of McAdder.
And I shall wear the granite gown and limestone|bodice of MacMiggins, Queen of all the herds.
Look, for God's sake, McAdder, you're not Rob Roy.
You're a top kipper salesman|with a reputable firm of Aberdeen fishmongers.
Don't throw it all away. If you kill the Prince|they'll just send the bailiffs round and arrest you.
Oh blast, I forgot the bailiffs.
- So we can return to our original plan then?|- No, I'm not interested.
I'd rather go to bed|with the Loch Lomond monster.
And I have to be back in the office on Friday.
I promised Mr McNaulty I'd shift|a particularly difficult bloater for him.
Forget the whole thing.|I'm off home with Miggsy.
Yes, yes. Show me the glen where the kipper|roams free. And forget Morag forever.
No, never. I must do right by Morag.
We must return to Scotland and you must|fight her in the old Highland way -
bare-breasted|and each carrying an eight pound baby.
Yes! I love babies.
You're a woman of spirit! I look forward|to burying you in the old Highland manner.
Farewell, Blackadder, you spineless goon.
Oh, God!|Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more.
Ah, Blackadder. It has been a wild afternoon|full of strange omens.
I dreamt that a large eagle|circled the room three times,
and then got into bed with me|and took all the blankets.
And then I saw that it wasn't an eagle at all|but a large black snake.
Also, Duncan's horses did turn|and eat each other - as usual.
- Good portents for your duel, do you think?|- Not very good, sir. I'm afraid the duel is off.
- Off?|- As in "sod". I'm not doing it.
By thunder, here's a pretty game. You will stay,|sir, and do duty by your Prince or I shall...
Or what, you port-brained twerp?|I've looked after you all my life.
Even when we were babies I had to show you|which bit of your mother was serving the drinks.
Please, please, you've got to help me.|I don't want to die.
- I've got so much to give. I want more time.|- A poignant plea, sir.
But the answer, I'm afraid, must remain:|"You're going to die, fat pig."
Oh, wait, wait! I'll give you everything.
Everything?|The money, the castles, the jewellery?
The highly artistic|but also highly illegal set of French lithographs?
Everything.
The amusing clock where the little man comes out|and drops his trousers every half hour?
- Yes, yes, all right.|- Very well, I accept.
A man may fight for many things:|his country, his principles, his friends,
the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child.
But personally|I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash,
an amusing clock,|and a sack of French porn. You're on.
Here's the plan.
When he offers me the swords, I kick him|in the nuts and you set fire to the building.
In the confusion we claim a draw.
Your Highness, let's be about our business.
Don't forget, Baldrick. You... when I...
Come, sir. Choose your stoker.
- Are we going to tickle each other to death?|- No, sir. We fight with cannon.
But I thought we were fighting with swords.
What do you think this is, the Middle Ages?|Only girls fight with swords these days.
Stand by your gun, sir.|Hup two three! Hup two three!
Wait a minute!
Stand by cannon for loading procedure.|Stoke! Muzzle! Wrench!
"Congratulations on choosing the Armstrong|Whitworth four-pounder cannonette.
Please read instructions carefully and it should|give years of trouble-free maiming."
Check elevation!
Chart trajectory! Prime fuse! Aim!
- Wait a minute.|- Fire!
- Mr B! Sir, please help me get his coat off.|- Leave it, Baldrick. It doesn't matter.
Yes it does. Blood's hell to shift.|I want to get it in to soak.
You die like a man, sir - in combat.
You think so? Dammit, we must build|a better world. When will the killing end?
You don't think I too dream of peace?
You don't think that I too yearn to end|this damn dirty job we call soldiering?
Frankly, no. My final wish on this Earth|is that Baldrick be sold
to provide funds|for a Blackadder foundation to promote peace
and to do research into the possibility|of an automatic machine for cleaning shoes.
And so I charge...
His Highness is dead.
Actually, I'm not sure I am.
That cigarillo-box you gave me was placed exactly|at the point where the cannon-ball struck.
I always said smoking was good for you.
Honour is satisfied.|God clearly preserves you for greatness.
His Highness is saved. Hurrah!
Um, no actually, it's me. I'm His Highness.|Well done, Bladders, glad you made it.
What in the name of Bonaparte's balls|is this fellow doing now?
No, I really am the Prince. It was all just larks,|and darn fine larks at that I thought.
I have never, in all my campaigns,|encountered such insolence!
Your master survives an honourable duel|and you cheek him like a French whoopsy!
I can contain myself no longer!
I die. I hope men will say of me|that I did duty by my country.
I think that's pretty unlikely, sir. If I was you|I'd try for something a bit more realistic.
- Like what?|- You hope that men will think of you as a thicky.
All right, I'll hope that.|Toodle-oo, everyone.
(A VOICE):|Kneel for His Majesty, the King of England!
Somebody told me my son was here.
I wish him to marry this rose-bush.|I want to make the wedding arrangements.
Here I am, Daddy.
This is the Iron Duke Wellington,|commander of all your armed forces.
Yes, I recognised the enormous conk.
- He's a hero. A man of wit and discretion.|- Bravo!
You know, my son, for the first time in my life|I have a real fatherly feeling about you.
People may say I'm stark raving mad|and say the word Penguin after each sentence,
but I believe that we two can make Britain great,
you as the Prince Regent and I as King Penguin.
Well, let's hope, eh?
Wellington, will you come|and dine with us at the palace?
- My family have a lot to thank you for.|- With great pleasure.
Your father may be as mad as a balloon,|but I think you have the makings of a fine king.
Eine wunderbare Hochzeitja!
Baldrick, clear away that dead butler, will you?
There's a new star in heaven tonight.|A new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie.
No, actually Baldrick, I'm not dead.|You see, I had a cigarillo-box too, look.
Oh, damn, I must have left it on the dresser...
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Babylon 5 1x06 Mind War
Babylon 5 1x07 The War Prayer
Babylon 5 1x08 And The Sky Full Of Stars
Babylon 5 1x09 Deathwalker
Babylon 5 1x10 Believers
Babylon 5 1x11 Survivors
Babylon 5 1x12 By Any Means Necessary
Babylon 5 1x13 Signs and Portents
Babylon 5 1x14 TKO
Babylon 5 1x15 Grail
Babylon 5 1x16 Eyes
Babylon 5 1x17 Legacies
Babylon 5 1x18 A voice in the wilderness - Part 1
Babylon 5 1x19 A voice in the wilderness - Part 2
Babylon 5 1x20 Babylon squared
Babylon 5 1x21 The Quality Of Mercy
Babylon 5 1x22 Crysalis
Babylon 5 3x01 Matters of Honor
Babylon 5 4x01 - The Hour of the Wolf
Babylon 5 4x02 - What Ever Happened to Mr Garibaldi
Babylon 5 4x03 - The Summoning
Babylon 5 4x04 - Falling Towards Apotheosis
Babylon 5 4x05 - The Long Night
Babylon 5 4x06 - Into the Fire
Babylon 5 4x07 - Epiphanies
Babylon 5 4x08 - The Illusion of Truth
Babylon 5 4x09 - Atonement
Babylon 5 4x10 - Racing Mars
Babylon 5 4x11 - Lines of Communication
Babylon 5 4x12 - Conflicts of Interest
Babylon 5 4x13 - Rumors Bargains and Lies
Babylon 5 4x14 - Moments of Transition
Babylon 5 4x15 - No Surrender No Retreat
Babylon 5 4x16 - The Exercise of Vital Powers
Babylon 5 4x17 - The Face of the Enemy
Babylon 5 4x18 - Intersections in Real Time
Babylon 5 4x19 - Between the Darkness and the Light
Babylon 5 4x20 - Endgame
Babylon 5 4x21 - Rising Star
Babylon 5 4x22 - The Deconstruction of Falling Stars
Babys Day Out
Bachelor Party
Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer The
Back To Bataan
Back To The Future 1
Back To The Future 1 (dc)
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Back To The Future 2 (hi)
Back To The Future 3
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Back to School (Alan Metter 1986)
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Backfield in Motion
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD1
BadBoys TrueStory 2003 CD2
Bad Company
Bad Guy 2001
Bad Santa
Bad Santa (unrated)
Bad Seed The 1956
Bad Timing (Nicolas Roeg 1980)
Bad and the Beautiful The
Badboys II
Badlands
Baise Moi
Balanta 1992 (The Oak)
Ballad Of A Soldier 1959
Balseros 2002
Bamb
Bamba La (1987)
Bamboozled
Bananas
Banchikwang
Band of Brothers 01 - Currahee
Band of Brothers 02 - Day of Days
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Band of Brothers 05 - Crossroads
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Band of Brothers 10 - Points
Band of Outsiders
Bande des quatre La 1988 CD1
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Bao biao (1969) - Have sword Chang Cheh
Bao lian deng (1999)
Bar El Chino 2003
Baramui Fighter CD1
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Baran
Barberella - A Queen Of The Galaxy
Bare Bea 2004
Barefoot Gen 1983
Barfly
Barocco
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Barrio 1947 25fps
Basara The Princess 1992 CD1
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Basic Instinct
Batman - Mystery of the Batwoman
Batman - The Movie
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Batman and Robin
Batoru Rowaioru II - Requiem (2003) CD1
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Batteries Included
Battle Cry CD1
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Battle Hymn 1957
Battle Royale (2000) Directors Cut CD1
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Battle Royale 2 (2003)
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
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Battle of the Bulge CD1
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Battlefield Baseball
Battlefield Earth
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - 33
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Litmus
Battlestar Galactica 01x01 - Water
Battlestar Galactica 01x03 - Bastille Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x04 - Act of Contrition
Battlestar Galactica 01x05 - You Cant Go Home Again
Battlestar Galactica 01x07 - Six Degrees of Seperation
Battlestar Galactica 01x08 - Flesh and Bone
Battlestar Galactica 01x09 - Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Battlestar Galactica 01x10 - The Hand of God
Battlestar Galactica 01x11 - Colonial Day
Battlestar Galactica 01x12 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 1
Battlestar Galactica 01x13 - Kobols Last Gleaming Part 2
Baxter 1989
Bazaar
Beach The
Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Beast Cops
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms The 1953
Beast Within The
Beast of War The
Beating Of The Butterflys Wings The 2000
Beatles Anthology The Episode1
Beatles Anthology The Episode2
Beatles Anthology The Episode3
Beatles Anthology The Episode4
Beatles Anthology The Episode5
Beatles Anthology The Episode6
Beatles Anthology The Episode7
Beatles Anthology The Episode8
Beatles Anthology The Special Features
Beatles The - A Hard Dayss Night
Beatles The First US Visit The
Beau Pere - Stepfather - Bertrand Blier 1981
Beautiful Creatures
Beautiful Girls
Beautiful Thing
Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD1
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Beautiful Troublemaker The (1991) CD3
Beautifull Mind A CD1
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Beauty And The Beast
Beauty and the Beast (Disney Special Platinum Edition)
Beavis and Butt-head Do America (1996)
Bedazzled
Bedford Incident The
Bedroom Key The CD1
Bedroom Key The CD2
Beethoven
Before Night Falls 2000 CD1
Before Night Falls 2000 CD2
Before Sunrise
Before Sunset 2004
Beguiled The
Behind Enemy Lines 2001
Behind The Sun (Walter Salles 2001)
Being John Malkovich
Being There (1979) CD1
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Belle Epoque CD1
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Belle and La Bete La (1946)
Bellinin And The Spynx CD1
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Bells Of St Marys The (1945)
Belly Of The Beast
Belly of an Architect The
Below
Belphegor
Ben-Hur CD1
Ben-Hur CD2
Bend It Like Beckham
Bend of the River 1952
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Benny and Joon
Bernie
Best years of our lives 1946
Bet on My Disco
Better Off Dead 1985
Better Than Chocolate
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD1
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD2
Better Tomorrow 3 A
Better Way To Die A
Betty
Between Heaven and Hell
Beverly Hillbillies The 1993
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Beyond Borders CD1
Beyond Borders CD2
Beyond The
Beyond The Clouds
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD1
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD2
Biches Les (Claude Chabrol 1968)
Bicho de sete cabezas
Bichunmoo CD1
Bichunmoo CD2
Big
Big Blue The CD1
Big Blue The CD2
Big Bounce The
Big Chill The
Big Daddy
Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958)
Big Fat Liar
Big Fish 2003
Big Hit The
Big Lebowski The
Big Mommas House
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Big Shot - A Confessions of a Campus Bookie 2002
Big Sleep The
Big clock The 1948
Big girls dont cry
Biker boyz
Billy Elliot
Billy Madison 1995
Biloxi blues
Bingwoo 2004 CD1
Bingwoo 2004 CD2
Bio Dome
Bio Hunter
Bio Zombie
Bionicle 2 A Legends of Metru-Nui
Bionicle Mask Of Light 2003
Birch Tree Meadow The
Bird People in China The 1998 CD1
Bird People in China The 1998 CD2
Bird on a wire
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD1
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Bite the bullet
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Black Angel
Black Sabbath
BlackAdder 1x1 - The Foretelling
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BlackAdder 1x6 - The Black Seal
BlackAdder 2x1 - Bells
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BlackAdder 2x3 - Potato
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BlackAdder 2x6 - Chains
BlackAdder 4x1 - Captain Cook
BlackAdder 4x2 - Corporal Punishment
BlackAdder 4x3 - Major Star
BlackAdder 4x4 - Private Plane
BlackAdder 4x5 - General Hospital
BlackAdder 4x6 - Goodbyeee
BlackAdder Christmas Carol 1988
BlackAdder The Cavalier Years
BlackAdder the Third 3x1
BlackAdder the Third 3x2
BlackAdder the Third 3x3
BlackAdder the Third 3x4
BlackAdder the Third 3x5
BlackAdder the Third 3x6
Black Adder V - Back and Forth
Black Christmas
Black Hawk Down
Black Knight
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Black Orpheus
Black Rain CD1
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Black Sheep
Black Widow 1987
Black and White (1998)
Blackout The 1997 CD1
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Blacula
Blade
Blade 3 - Trinity
Blade Of Fury
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD1
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Blade Runner Directors Cut
Blair Witch Project The
Blame It On Rio
Blast From The Past 1999
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Blazing Sun (1960) CD1
Blazing Sun (1960) CD2
Bleeder
Bless The Child
Blind Beast
Blind Chance (1987) CD1
Blind Chance (1987) CD2
Blind Spot Hitlers Secretary (2002)
Blind date
Bliss
Blob The 1988
Blood Crime
Blood Wedding (1981)
Blood Work
Blood and Black Lace
Blow 2001 CD1
Blow 2001 CD2
Blow Dry 2001
Blown Away 1994 CD1
Blown Away 1994 CD2
Blue (Derek Jarman)
Blue Car
Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie
Blue Max The CD1
Blue Max The CD2
Blue Moon
Blue Planet The 1
Blue Planet The 2 - The Deep
Blue Planet The 3 - Open Ocean
Blue Planet The 4 - Frozen Seas
Blue Spring 2001
Blue Velvet
Blue juice 1995
Blue thunder
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD1
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD2
Blues Harp
Boat Trip - Feedback Overflow
Bob Le Flambeur 1955
Bob Marley Story - Rebel Music
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body Double
Body Heat
Body The
Boiler Room
Bola El
Bone Collector The
Bonnie and Clyde
Book of Fate The
Book of Pooh The
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Boot Das 1981 CD1
Boot Das 1981 CD2
Born Romantic
Boucher Le
Bounce
Bourne supremacy The-1CD
Boxcar Bertha
Boy Who Saw The Wind The
Boys and Girls
Boyz N the Hood
Branca de Neve
Bread and Roses
Breakfast Club The
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Breakin all the rules
Breaking Away
Bride with White Hair The
Bridge Man The CD1
Bridge Man The CD2
Bright Future
Broadway Danny Rose
Brother (Takeshi Kitano)
Brother Sun Sister Moon 1972
Brother from Another Planet The 1984
Brotherhood Of The Wolf
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Buddy
Buena Estrella La (Lucky Star)
Buffalo Soldiers
Bug 1975
Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Big Top Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid (1942)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears (1944)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs and Thugs (1954)
Bugs Bunny - Bully for Bugs (1953)
Bugs Bunny - Frigid Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - Hair-Raising Hare (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Haredevil Hare (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Long Haired Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - My Bunny Lies Over the Sea (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Rabbits Kin (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Tortoise Wins by a Hare (1943)
Bugs Bunny - Wabbit Twouble (1941)
Bugs Bunny - Water Water Every Hare (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Whats Up Doc (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Fire (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
Bugs Bunny and Elmer - Rabbit of Seville (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Taz - Devil May Hare (1954)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Ballot Box Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Big House Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - High Diving Hare (1949)
Bugs Life A
Bullet Ballet
Bullet in the Head
Bulletproof Monk 2003
Bullets Over Broadway
Bully (Unrated Theatrical Edition)
Burning Paradise (Ringo Lam 1994)
Burnt Money
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid A Special Edition
Butchers Wife The