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Brothers The

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What do you think your dreams mean, Jackson?
They're about relationships, commitments.
Do you think a commitment with a woman is death?
Yeah, right. See, you meet somebody, right?
You guys are havin' a good time, you're vibin' with each other.
Then love drags its ass up into it, you know?
What do you think women want from you?
Oh, that's easy. They want money, multiple orgasms.
And beautiful shoes that don't hurt like hell.
That's really sexist, except for the part about the shoes.
I'll be 29 on my next birthday.
Why does that bother you?
'Cause it's one step from the big 3-0.
I can't blame my lack of a serious relationship on being a kid anymore.
You know?
I broke up with three women in the last two months, and that's not too cool.
Maybe you should become celibate.
Put the physical behind your greater spiritual self.
Yeah, sorry, Doc, but my greater spiritual self needs the booty.
I have an assignment for you.
I want you to get back out there and date some more.
In fact, try to meet a woman tonight.
No, I'm shootin' hoops with the fellas tonight.
Then we hang. It's a weekly tradition.
Then do it whenever.
The next time, open up your heart to her.
Try being a friend before you become her lover.
I think I can handle that.
Motion to suppress denied.
Motion for evidentiary hearing denied.
Motion for continuance denied.
All of my motions denied, Your Honor? May I ask why?
Your affıdavit wasn't based on credible facts.
This court will not tolerate that.
Motions denied.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Bitch.
What did you say?
Come on, Shawshank. Let's go.
The judge is springing you.
It's about goddamn time.
- That woman is crazy. - Come on.
You're lucky you ain't workin' for her cranky ass.
Yes, Sheila, I am meeting the Brothers after work for our game.
Yes, we are going to the club afterwards.
Now, how is my baby gonna miss me when she's gonna be asleep?
What if I ran in the streets like some little hood rat?
- I have a job too, you know. - You shouldn't talk like that.
You need Jesus.
Here's the European earnings report that just came in.
Lovely. I'll look at 'em tonight.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
No, Sandra, thank you. I'm straight.
Nothing?
- No, I'm straight. - Nothing at all?
I'm cool. I'm cool.
Take care of yourself, okay?
Yes. Terry White.
Hey, baby.
Yeah, I'm packing up right now to get out of here.
Oh, yeah, it's all set for tonight.
Hey, baby, you got nothing to worry about.
Oh, shit. Baby, I gotta go.
She's gonna need to take her medicine, and keep her throat warm.
Oh, thanks.
So, Doctor, would you like to meet my sister?
She's really great.
I'm kind of off the market right now.
- Damn! - You ain't got time for me now, huh?
You had time to have sex with me. Now all of a sudden you're busy.
Yeah, early fall, Brian!
See ya.
Look at that one!
Go all the way!
Yeah!
Yo, Derrick, I'm telling you, I did not think you saw me on that alley.
I do what I can, baby. I do what I can.
That was luck.
It won't happen again.
You all want to hear some crazy shit that happened to me today?
I'm packin' up my stuff, getting ready to come out here.
I turn around, and there's this temp standing in front of me.
I'm not gonna lie. She was bangin'.
This girl rushes me and jumps on my shit, man.
- What? - Can a brother get an application?
I just think he's lying.
D, how long you know me, baby? I don't lie about my shit.
- All right. - That shit happens to me all the time.
- So how was it, Terry? - I didn't do it.
Shit!
What, you're A.C. Green now?
That ain't funny. I'm serious, man.
I lectured her about compromising a brother at work, then walked away.
I'm sorry. I would've waxed that ass all over the offıce.
There would have been Xeroxes of my nuts on everybody's desk.
See, the problem is, you need help.
See, me and my girl BeBe, we got something solid, yo.
It feels real good, so I'm gonna make a declaration right here, right now.
From this moment forward, I'm a one woman man.
Come on, after just two months of dating?
That gotta be some kind of record for being whipped.
- Wait a minute. - You're not talking about being whipped.
Come on, Terry, we know you. You can't change.
What about when you was talking to the girl and her mom...
then they both found out?
You can laugh if you want to. I'll admit I did it.
But that was a long time ago. I'm not like that anymore.
If you're changing, Terry, I'm changing too.
- It's about time. - As of now, I'm through with sisters.
- Here we go again. - That's a broken record.
I'm serious this time, man. I mean, you know Carla, right?
The judge?
She locked me up because she's an evil, bitter, black woman.
Brian, did you forget that you had sex with her, you dumped her...
and called her "bitch" in the courtroom?
So what's your damn point?
Maybe she had a few other reasons to do what she did.
The boy's ignorant.
All the sisters I deal with bring me drama.
No matter what you do, it ain't good enough for 'em.
I'm tired of the fake hair. "Excuse me, that's my baby's father."
The excess weight.
They're giving out government cheese sandwiches with fake hair and babies.
- What does that tell you? - That tells me you're a dumb ass.
Wake up! You give up on sisters, you're giving up on yourself.
- Word! - Hold up.
- I think Brian may have a point. - Thank you.
Jack, a woman's color doesn't matter. It's what's inside that counts.
- See? - Did your wife tell you that...
before or after she unscrewed your dick and put it in her purse?
Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him.
We here, Jack.
We not there. I'm not going out on sisters like you, Brian, okay?
My thing is, see, I just haven't found the right one.
- Just gotta look harder. - See, now I can dig that.
What I'm saying is, let's keep it real. We're single, black, professional men.
- We're the cream of the crop. - Now I got to keep it real for you.
We are the cream of the crop. You the black sticky shit at the bottom.
My point is, fellas, that we deserve the best...
and right now, sisters ain't up to the job.
No, you're wrong. That's why when I met Sheila, I just snapped her right up.
That, and she got pregnant on your ass.
That's true.
It didn't have nothing to do with that. We got married 'cause we were in love.
Love... now, there is a word you should look up in the dictionary.
It's after "ignorant" and just before "stupid."
Stupid.
- We'll be at the bar. - Where's Terry? He's missing.
Probably went back to work to work on that little temp, if he's smart.
He will be here, trust me. He will be here.
Ah, damn.
- Come on. Why'd you do that? - I told you, I'm done with 'em.
Hey, man, she looks kinda cool. Go and work your Brian magic, man.
- You want me to work it? - Work it.
Check it out.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry about that little thing over there.
I had the worst day in court.
- So you're a lawyer? - Yeah.
- I used to work for a lawyer. - Really?
Cool. Hey, I'm Brian.
I'm Lamuzindah.
- La moo what? - Lamuzindah.
- It means "goddess of light." - Oh, okay. Cool.
You know, do your thing.
You know what? You just look so nurturing to me.
Do you have any kids?
Oh, well, actually, I do.
You wanna see some pictures ofTanesha and Tenaka?
I got 'em right here. Just one second. I'm gonna get them.
Slow down with the kids. Have a nice evening.
Tanesha and Tenaka.
The defense rests, fellas.
Forget you then.
Fellas, fellas, fellas.
Fellas, fellas, fellas.
Sorry I'm late.
Excuse me, bartender. I need some of your best champagne and fıve glasses.
- Champagne? - Yes.
It's always so crowded in here.
- It's nice of you to bring a date. - Right.
Listen up. Tonight is a little different.
Ready to do this?
BeBe and I, we're getting married.
Pow!
Oh, okay.
- Terry, congratulations, baby. - There you go.
Good luck.
- Congratulations, T. - Thank you, my man.
There goes my buzz.
- Brian, what is your problem? - Hold on, baby. Let me get this.
I'm gonna slide on out of your way.
Look, Brian.
You and I have never liked each other. Okay, that's cool.
But understand this.
I will not take any shit off of you.
I'm at the gun range twice a week, and I'm licensed to correct a nigger.
All right. Come on now, baby.
I'm going to the ladies' room.
Did she just take my drink?
How you gonna dis my girl right in front of me?
Terry, I'm sorry, man. I was shocked.
Me too. Shocked you didn't get your ass whipped.
Terry, you always were the one who said you were gonna get married...
two minutes before you dropped dead.
I do remember that, but that was a long time ago.
I have changed.
I'm about to be 29 years old in a minute. It's time I settled down.
Twenty-nine. That's not old, right?
No, it's not old, but how long you supposed to wait?
Wait a minute. I thought this was what we wanted.
Didn't we talk about this? Love, happiness and all that other shit.
Look, Al Green, love and happiness is one thing, but this is marriage.
'Cause 50...
Take it from me, marriage is not something you just jump into.
Eighty... you're wearing a diaper...
slobbering.
Come on. You are not old.
Will you shut your old ass up?
Two months is barely enough time to know if the booty is right.
Whoa, stop all this nonsense. Is this "piss on Terry night"?
Come on, Terry, look. We're your friends.
- We just want what's best for you. - No. Check this.
BeBe is a good woman.
I love this girl.
- I'm sorry, but man... - All right.
She does her own thing. She makes good money at the phone company.
She's got a job.
She's fıne as hell.
Ain't nobody said nothin' about that.
Thank you. Shit.
T, you're my boy. I love you. I'm happy for you.
- Congratulations. - That's what I'm talking about.
Thank you.
Me too. Best of luck, baby boy.
- I appreciate that. - You know this is fucked up, right?
But you're my man.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, man.
I don't know why, but I'm gonna accept that stupid shit from you.
I see the champagne has arrived. Now, we do need to be drinkin' it.
- Yeah, a toast. - I got the toast.
To our boy Terry here...
and his beautiful girl wearing the hell out of that red dress.
May they have love, happiness...
and all that other shit.
All right.
Dr. Smith?
How you doin'?
You want a lollipop out of it.
- How's she doing? Better? - She's doing much better.
- How you been? - I've been all right.
I was just wondering if maybe she...
Don't just stand there.
Do something.
That's good.
That's perfect. I like that.
- Jackson Smith. How you doin'? - I'm Denise.
So do I have potential or what?
So you know that little girl, Jack?
Yeah, she's one of my patients. I'm a doctor.
- Why do you say it like that? - Like what?
Like, "I'm a doctor. I'm Zeus, king of the gods."
- No, I didn't mean it that way. - I know you didn't.
I'm a freelance photographer...
but I guess you can see that.
An artist.
I like that.
What does your boyfriend think about you being an artist?
That's smooth, but I don't have a boyfriend...
and I'm not looking for one.
Good, 'cause I don't have a girlfriend...
and I'm not looking for one.
Good.
Oh, my God, girl. You are gonna wear me out.
- Don't you ever get tired? - Nope.
You know, I shouldn't even be doing this until after we get married.
- I'm a good girl. - Okay, good girl.
That's real cute and everything, but trust me...
if you weren't giving me some lovin', we might not be getting married.
- Shut up, Terry! - I'm just keeping it real.
- I got needs. - Yeah, you got needs.
You know daddy's just playing with you.
We need to get those invitations out in the next couple of days.
Oh, and my parents are gonna be flying in a few weeks before.
And the wedding planner needs to know how many guests...
Will you hush? Can we stay in the moment?
I know all of that. Who do you think got this party started?
Girl, I cannot wait to make you Mrs. Terry White.
Hey, whoa. Okay. Now, wait a minute.
You promised me that gun would never make it up in this house.
I know. I'm sorry. I forgot to take it back after the range.
- You know I hate that damn thing. - I know.
Don't be mad. I got something to make it up to you.
Oh, yeah? What you got?
Oh, girl, come on.
As much as I like it, unless you got Viagra, Mr. Chubby needs a few minutes.
- No, he doesn't. - Why not?
I got skills.
Come on. Okay.
Hey, girl, we gotta getJanel some new books to read her to sleep.
Hey, girl, we gotta getJanel some new books to read her to sleep.
I got Dr. Seuss coming out of my ass.
I know. She does the same thing to me.
So I suppose Terry's having a bachelor party...
with lots of naked hos running around there.
Yes, he is. I never thought Terry would fall.
He got me feeling like an old married man.
All this excitement over Terry is a bunch of trouble for nothing.
First of all, he is not the husband type.
He and that Brian have been bed hopping ever since we've known them.
Terry ain't shit.
And he's gonna give that up? Please!
A crackhead would have a better chance at a weight lifting contest, okay?
You are funny. Boy, that was a good one. Crack and weights.
You crack me up.
Well, it sounds like the coast is clear.
Yeah.
You go and express yourself.
- Let me get that for you. - Oh, no!
What is wrong now?
I'm just not ready.
What do you mean, you're not ready? You promised.
But I've been thinking and I can't do it right now.
Sheila, come on! We've been married for three long years.
- I know, but... - But what?
It's nasty.
What the...
You know... I'm gonna calm down.
Come on now. Come here. Oh, yes.
Yes, I know. You're all tense and everything.
- Relax. - Okay.
Relax your jaws too. Relax.
Yes. Yes.
See, speak into the mike.
That... See? See?
Damn it! You got me hard as Chinese arithmetic in here...
and you're bullshitting!
Derrick, why did you come in here?
Why are you drinking at this hour?
Because I am a grown man and I cannot get head from my own wife!
Why don't you just go into our daughter's room and yell it to her?
Look, Sheila, we have talked about this.
We went to the counselor. We bought the books. You said you were ready.
I know, but I was eating a banana earlier today...
and I gagged on it.
Just don't gag on my banana, we can get this show on the road.
Derrick, honey, I can't.
- See, I do it to you. - But I don't ask you to.
You do not stop me either.
Okay, well, fıne. You don't have to do it anymore.
See, that's the difference between you and me.
See, I don't mind doing it. I even like it.
So if I had a dick, would you suck it?
What kind of question is that? You ain't no man, I ain't no woman.
Just answer the question. If I had a dick, would you suck it?
Yes, I would suck your dick...
wearing a Viking hat and a Little League chest protector.
Derrick, baby!
I paid my dues.
Baby, Derrick. Honey, please.
All my life I was taught that good girls just don't do that.
My mother used to tell me if I did that...
I would get cancer.
I am dealing with some serious psychological barriers here.
Your mama sucked so much dick, she walks around on her knees.
My mother is a saint!
She must be Saint Suck A Dick.
Your mama is senile.
See, my mama got an excuse. Your mama fucked up for no reason!
- You hit me with that pillow again... - What, you're gonna hit me?
Go ahead. Beat me, Ike, beat me.
I'm gonna go watch television. I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
All right, have a banana. Get freaky with a peach, for all I care.
We have a daughter. Are you going to advise her to go down on her boyfriend?
Yes, I am, right after I tell her that sucking dick don't cause cancer.
Nasty old thing!
"Suck my dick, suck my dick, suck my dick, suck my dick."
It's good for your skin.
So you've known me for a while, and all of a sudden you ask me out.
What took you so long?
Well, you could say I went looking for love in all the wrong damn places.
Listen.
Jesse. Right.
Right.
I got some work to do, baby, so I...
Sure, I can go. I have an early class tomorrow.
Right. What is it you teach?
Self-defense classes.
- Karate. - Karate. Yeah, I remember.
Look, Brian, I know this was sort of spur of the moment and all...
but if you ever wanna hook up again, just call me.
Hey, hold up. Just sit, relax.
- You know? Just relax. - Okay.
I have this amazing bottle of wine. Would you like some?
Sure. Where is it?
In the kitchen. Let me get it.
Oh, no. I got it.
Can you make me a sandwich while you're in there?
Okay.
"Okay!" That's what I'm talking about.
You know...
Denise, I hope you don't feel nervous about us...
doing it like this on the fırst date.
Why would I be nervous?
You know, 'cause I picked you up and I got you into bed like this.
A lot of women would feel self-conscious about that.
- Really? - Yeah.
How 'bout this? How 'bout I picked you up and got you in bed on the fırst date?
So that would kind of make you a little slut puppy, wouldn't it?
I like that, but you can't call a man a slut puppy.
- Why's that? - It's redundant.
Actually, the only reason why I brought that up is...
'cause I kind of have this issue.
What's that?
Well, it's like... you know, it's...
Forget I even brought that up.
Jackson, are you okay?
What?
I can't talk about this.
Do you know why I became a photographer?
Because you get to capture all of life's moments...
all of the turning points, and freeze them.
Now, think of us as a picture.
If you tell me your problem...
we'd be kind of making a turning point together.
- You're crazy. You know that? - Yeah, everybody says that.
- But I like that. - Yeah?
So it's like this.
Once I meet a woman and I get to know her a little bit...
we become intimate.
When we get into the relationship part of it...
and we start talking about commitment, I just freeze up.
And the only way I know how to save myself is to...
cut the woman out of my life.
Damn. Well, I see how that's a problem.
But you know what? We all have problems.
If life were simple, we'd all be doing something else.
So wait. You're telling me that you're not just gonna get up...
and run like hell out of here?
There's a lot of interesting things I could do with a man like you.
See, I thought you were crazy before, but I know you're crazy now.
Just a sucker for a naked man.
Come on, man!
- When do you start school, Cherie? - In June.
I'm gonna go early so I can fınd a place to live.
I envy you. There are so many fıne men in college.
- Excuse me? - Not that I care at all.
Public intimacy?
I have never seen my brother like this.
Girl, you must have Kryptonite in your pu...
possession.
There are my beautiful children. How you doin', sweetie?
- Where's the rest of your outfıt? - And you would be talking to?
You. I'm talking to you. You shouldn't be dressing like that.
How very Freudian of you, son. Now I know I look good.
- You look fıne, Miss Smith. - Thank you, baby.
Yes, you do, Mother.
You know I was only 18 when I had Jackson.
- Okay, not this story. - I wasn't nothing but a baby myself.
Took me 10 months and 20 hours of labor just to get him here.
And he ain't been nothin' but trouble ever since.
Yes, for the hundredth time, we know, all right?
It's not about me. It's about Cherie. She's starting school.
Did you guys have your female conversation about men yet?
Oops. I'll do it right now. Sorry.
Come here, baby.
Cherie, a man only needs three things.
Well, two of'em is money.
That's cute. That's cute.
You know, Denise.
You're much nicer than the other women Jackson usually dates.
- Mama, please. - Don't fıght the truth, son.
It'll make you grow old fast.
Not that I would know with my fıne self.
I know better than to argue with women...
so I'm gonna go over here, you guys talk about me behind my back.
I'll be cool.
Nobody talkin' about you. We're talkin' about me.
Damn. Come on, y'all.
Can you believeJack, Mama?
Asking you to tell me about men as if there's some sort of secret.
- There is. - Really?
Mm-hmm. And I know what it is.
Wait. Not like I need to know or anything, but what is it?
Well, it's really very simple.
There's one sure way to tell if a man really loves you.
Come here.
When it's late...
and you're all hugged up on the sofa and eatin' food and watchin' TV...
and you're just all over each other.
Well, if he will give you his last piece of food...
the very last bite...
baby, that's love.
I like that.
Me too. It's got sacrifıce, protection...
the sensuality of eating.
I learned all that in my psych class.
I learned it the hard way.
Look what the wind blew in.
- Congratulations, baby. - Thank you, Daddy.
This is my girl Denise.
Hi, Denise. Fred Smith. Glad to meet you.
Yes.
- Where've you been? We've been waiting. - I'm sorry, baby. I was busy.
Had to make a few stops before I got here.
You look good, Fred. Almost as good as me.
Maybe I'll clear a dance floor and teach you a thing or two.
I'll be around.
Everybody, this is my date Ursula.
Ursula don't speak no English.
We got to do something about our weak-ass immigration laws.
I need another drink. Excuse me.
So you don't speak no English, huh?
So the words "stank ho" wouldn't mean nothing to you.
No, not "stanque hou." Stank ho.
Dead ho.
Ignorant ho. French ho.
Have a good time. Enjoy yourself.
Bringing that bitch up in here.
- This ain't my car, man. - Look at it.
This ain't no game show. This is my man's car. I'm watching it.
Tyrel said you kicked his boys out of the house, Ma. What's up with that?
I did what I had to do.
He had them fools in my house, drinkin' and smokin'.
And you know that ain't right.
See what I mean? Issues.
Yo, Brian, some of my boys wanna steal your car for you. I can hook it up.
No, man. No insurance scams, T-Boy. Get out of here.
- Don't shoot the messenger, nigger. - Tyrel.
I want you to tell your friends that this house is off-limits.
Let's just talk about this.
Ain't nothing to talk about. That boy is 17 years old.
He has some women up in this house acting a fool and having sex.
Ma, I told you, me and LaShana was not having sex.
- We was just watching TV. - Right.
I guess it was just raining condoms outside your bedroom window.
Maybe two squirrels was freakin' with it.
- Yo, Brian. - What, motherfucker?
They're gonna give you 40% of this shit. Let's do this thing.
Get out of here, man. Can't you see...
I'm sensing hesitation on your part. I'll go for 50-50.
I don't like him outside my house, Brian.
- He's just watching my car. - It doesn't matter.
She don't like nobody up in here except them old-ass ladies from church...
who be coming here smelling like old cheese and hot garbage.
Oh, no, you did not say that.
He did not say that. I am two minutes away from whupping your...
Just go outside, all right? Just watch my car.
Watch my car.
- It's really good to see you. - I don't know how good it is.
- What should we do about it? - Nothing.
We're not gonna do anything.
You know he doesn't have one damn picture of you in his house?
It's too late for regrets.
You and I can't change what happened between us, so we should just tell him.
I'll do it.
- I'll do it in my own time, though. - Fine.
What's up? Trying to steal my girl?
You know what? I'm gonna go before your mom kills that girl.
I'll take Ursula her drink. Nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you.
- Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah.
Why'd you bring another woman over to the house?
Hey, son, I got my own life now.
You know what I'm saying?
What do you think about Denise?
She seems nice.
- Are you guys serious? - Yeah, it's going pretty good.
That's good.
I'm happy for you.
You know Mama's gonna be upset about this for at least a week.
Come on, son. Your mother and I are divorced.
She understands that.
Yeah, but I still don't get it.
How can two people live together, share together for 25 years, then just leave?
You know why your mother and I split, son.
Terry's gettin' married.
- Little Terry? - Well, he's big Terry now.
That's good news. I'm happy for him.
Uh-oh. Now, come on, tell me.
You're not thinking about taking that fall too?
Hell no.
No, marriage, that's not for me.
Come on now. You can't judge by looking at me and your mother.
Your mother and I had some great years together, son.
And who knows? Your luck might be better than mine.
They say talent skips a generation.
I remember that.
Why don't you come down and visit your old man sometimes?
I'm always at one of the dealerships.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I'm looking forward to it. Hey, baby.
Dad, where is it?
- In the driveway. - Come on, let's go!
Check this out.
Daddy!
You guys, get in! Get in!
Back up, man. Back it up.
I don't want to see you around here.
Hey, baby.
I don't want any boys in here, you understand?
Whatever.
Stay on the main streets. Don't drive down to the 'hood.
- Okay. - I worry about you.
Mama, I want you to let Tyrel come live with me.
I told you before, I'm not lettin' him go.
Why not?
- He's my brother. - Half brother.
All I'm saying, Mama, is that the boy is not happy here.
It's not like his daddy's around...
Don't even bring up that fool to me.
Left me for some white woman.
- She's Hawaiian. - If she ain't black, she's white.
That's what I'm talking about. That's just ridiculous.
A fact of life.
- That's crazy. Latino women? - A white woman with a taco.
So I guess Asian women...
A white woman who no-speaka the goddamn English.
You know what? The both of you is just like your daddies... full of it.
I done heard that my whole life.
How long you gonna look at us and see them?
I know what they did is wrong, but me and Tyrel didn't do it.
Can we get a little love?
I raised you. That's love.
Oh, really.
Then prove it, Mama.
Can you give your son a kiss and a hug?
You too old for that now.
You can't do it, can you?
You acting crazy. Just stop it.
Mama, when was the last time you gave me a hug?
What was it, ten years ago?
Right after Tyrel's father left?
Mama, ten years is a long time.
Come on, Mama. I'm waiting.
Give me love, Mama.
Get out of my house with this nonsense.
When Tyrel gets old enough, Mama, he's gonna live with his big brother.
He can get his love from me.
You can believe that.
Mama?
Hey, now. How are you doin'?
Oh, hey, son.
Look how pretty you look today.
Well, I don't look dead. That's all I care about.
Come on. Don't say stuff like that. You're gonna live forever.
What the hell are you talking about, Derrick?
Everybody dies.
I swear I drank too much when I carried you.
You were drinking when you were pregnant with me?
Well, yeah.
It's not like I was operating heavy machinery or nothin'.
Look...
Mama, I want you to come live with me and my family.
When did you get married?
Three years ago, Mama. You were right there, remember?
Yeah, that's right. We ate chicken.
Yes, we did.
How is my grandbaby?
Janel? Oh, Janel is wonderful.
Hey, James and Amber and I...
James and Amber. Those are your other children.
I know who they are.
Boy, are you high or something?
No, ma'am, no.
Look...
we just don't think you belong here anymore.
I like it here.
I know, Mama, but I miss you. And you know what?
Janel, she would loving having her grandmother around the house.
- And your wife? - I'm working on that.
Yeah, I bet you are. We don't like each other.
- Now, Mama... - Evil witch.
No, I think I'm gonna stay right here.
Now, look, Mama, that was fıne when you and daddy were here together.
But now Daddy's gone.
Mama, I'm sorry.
Yeah, things were a lot different when your father was alive.
Hey, look.
I am supposed to be taking you to lunch.
You come on here with your fıne brown frame.
You're a mess.
Don't think I don't really know you're running numbers out here.
Who's collecting my money?
So you have no idea who flattened the tires on your car?
So you have no idea who flattened the tires on your car?
No. You know what? It could be anybody. Lawyers make a lot of enemies.
I bet it was a woman.
That's how we get back at men. A car is just a big dick with wheels.
Counselor?
Hi, Judge. I'm having my lunch here.
You fıled a motion to have me permanently barred from all your cases.
Yes, I did.
I think you'd agree that I'm right, after what happened.
Hi, I'm Judge Carla Williams.
Hi, I'm Jesse.
- Are you a lawyer too? - No.
I'm sort of a teacher.
Teacher.
What's the pay these days for teachers?
Carla, there is no reason for this.
Right. Sorry.
- Have a nice lunch. - Thank you.
- What's her problem? - I have no idea.
Excuse me. What did you say?
Why are you making a scene?
I'm not making a scene. I'm merely having girl talk. Right?
What did you say?
I said...
Oh, shit.
what's your problem?
My problem is tired-ass men like this...
and women like you who get the whole world given to them...
but no, you have to have our men too.
- Get that fınger out of my face. - Or else what?
What are you gonna do, huh?
What are you gonna do?
- Damn! - What is going on?
Yo, bro, take Buffy the Negro Slayer and get the hell out of my spot.
I was just...
Come on, Jesse. Let's just go.
I cannot believe you. Just get in the car.
- Why are you mad at me? - You just assaulted a judge, Jesse.
She curses us both out, jabs her fınger into my face, and you yell at me?
You had no right to hit that woman. That was childish, all right?
I got a reputation, and you made me look stupid in there.
You know what? You ain't no different.
What do you mean, "different"?
Nothing. Let's just go.
You thought I'd be different from her just because I'm white?
- I didn't say that. - You know what you are?
You are a self-centered, arrogant fool.
Let me tell you, black and white women have one thing in common.
We don't like bullshit men, and that's you, the bullshit man.
- You better get out of my face. - Hey, you want some too?
Come on. I got one ass kicking left, and it's got your name all over it.
I don't have time for this. I don't need the drama, Miss Jackie Chan.
I'll kick your ass all up and down this parking lot.
This white girl's got something for you, and you better get it, chickenshit.
See ya.
Hey, baby. You still working?
No, I'm not at work.
Listen. Why don't you come over?
We have been mad at each other for too long.
It is time for some serious making up.
Yeah.
Come on, baby. I'm really gonna give it to you this time.
Give me what?
Oh, well.
First let's do it the regular way.
Not interested. No, no, no.
What the hell is this, Derrick? You haven't touched me for weeks.
- Because I'm tired. - I don't believe this shit.
Is that all that's important to you, somebody going down on you?
You just don't get it, do you?
We are married.
This is not just about sex. It's about how we feel about each other.
You mean everything to me, Sheila. What do I mean to you?
This is about sex. See, that's all you men care about.
No, this is about the way I've let you control this relationship...
and this family.
That's over now. My mama's coming to live with us.
No, she's not.
I've told the home I am terminating her lease.
She is coming as soon as I can get her here.
You did not consult with me, and I didn't agree to it.
I didn't have to. I looked in the mirror and consulted my damn self.
You're doing this to spite me because I won't give you the type of sex you want.
You are nothing but a nasty freaky freak.
You know, I married you because you were pregnant.
Never once did I question your motives.
We agreed that it was the best thing to do.
Did we? Or did you come to me crying, saying...
"My life is over! What are we gonna do?"
Are you saying that I got pregnant intentionally just to hook you?
What I am saying is that my mama is coming to live with us.
Get used to it.
You hit me, it'll take NATO peacekeepers to pull my foot outta your ass.
Fine, Derrick.
Do we have any more triple-A batteries?
Think I used them all the last time this happened.
Don't play, woman. I quit school 'cause of recess!
So my cousin says his place in Florida is gonna be empty next month.
So my cousin says his place in Florida is gonna be empty next month.
You trying to shack up with me?
Oh, hell, yes. We could do it all over South Beach.
We can christen every single pier.
Jack, there's something that's been on my mind.
It's something I need to tell you.
What?
I don't even know how to start.
Let me help you this time because there's something I wanna tell you.
Remember how you told me about those pictures?
I remember.
Well, at fırst I didn't understand what you were talking about.
But I understand now what you meant...
about how a person makes a turning point that changes everything about them.
I've changed like that, Denise.
I've changed like that 'cause of you.
So I want you to know that I am not afraid of a good woman...
and all she can bring to a man.
And I'm not afraid to tell you, I love you, Denise.
Did that make it a little bit easier for you to say what you wanted to say?
Yeah.
It did, actually.
It's not even important anymore.
I love you too, Jackson.
Good.
Really good.
Gonna eat that?
Yeah.
This shit right here, it's blazin'.
The spices in this are just right.
Here, baby.
Louise, thank you so much for letting me have my shower here.
Terry's mother loved it.
No problem, sweetie. Fred's throwing Terry's bachelor party.
I'm not about to be outdone.
- Denise, you okay? - Hmm?
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
I was just thinking that latelyJackson has been saying all the right things...
but I don't know if he means it.
Why do you say that?
- Jackson told me that he loved me. - How sweet!
Then he ate the last piece of chicken while we watched a movie.
- Stop it. - Not good. Not good.
Maybe I can get Terry to talk to him, fınd out what he's thinking.
He's got his head on straight these days.
Yes, Terry's gonna make a fıne husband.
Y'all know that the Brothers are not going for that.
I was probably just overreacting. I mean, it happens.
MaybeJackson was just hungry, right?
Not likely, baby. It's a subconscious thing.
I don't know why women always pay for men's emotional failures.
We do do that. We do.
Don't we?
- I know one reason. - What?
Well, damn. We gonna get deep, let's go sit down.
- Bring the strawberries. - I got the strawberries.
- I need to learn something. - Grab that champagne.
All right.
All right, Denise. I love my brother.
But if he's giving you mixed messages, just tell him to get his shit together.
Ooh, that's my baby that said that.
She's right.
That's what I do to Derrick. That's why we're so happy.
- You gotta stand up to him. - I know.
Jackson is a good man.
But I have worked too damn hard to shape him...
into the man that I've grown to know and love...
and I'm not doing that shit again.
I'm not limiting myself to brothers. I'll consider all men, even non-blacks.
Like hell you will.
- But, Mama... - Uh-uh. Who taught you that?
Life.
Brothers date all kinds of women all the time.
Why should we sit around like idiots waiting for them...
to bestow their favors upon us?
Screw that.
A white man has all the equipment and twice the cash.
Okay, I heard you.
I wouldn't know anything about that.
And while we're on the subject of other men, Mama...
you need to get yourself a man and stop pining away for Daddy.
Okay, that's enough. No, you've been drinking too much.
This is a new century.
Women are saying good-bye to dependency.
I don't need a man. I have myself.
I wasn't sure till this very second, but my baby's still a virgin.
You know what you have to do, Mama. You need to reject your pussy.
- Oh, my God! - No, she didn't.
Now, that's a little bit too much me in you.
Sit down somewhere.
That word was created by men in order to objectify a woman's sexuality...
and turn us into property.
If you accept that you have one, then they own you.
I don't. I reject my pussy.
- Oh, Lord! - I can't believe she said the "P" word.
If that's the case, give me yours 'cause I could use an extra one.
Okay, fıne. But you know what? Don't say I didn't try to educate y'all.
We hear you, Cherie.
I think you need to sit down and really tell him how you feel.
The direct approach is always the best one.
I'm not trying to scare this man.
Y'all know I have a tendency to come across a little strong sometimes.
A woman is strength.
Not just the giver of life and all that, but more.
Men don't even know who they are until they know what kind of woman they want.
Or, for that matter, if they even want a woman.
But whatever he chooses, it starts with us.
So be fearless with my son.
Don't be timid with love.
'Cause we invented the shit.
- All right! - Thank you.
Ladies, to the sisters.
- To the sisters! - Yes!
Miracles and blessings, ladies. Miracles and blessings.
Okay. Don't wait up, Mama.
Bye-bye.
Louise, can I ask you something?
More aboutJackson?
No, this is about me.
Okay. Come on.
Whoo now, bring it to Daddy. Oh, yeah.
Spin around.
Lord have mercy.
Well, well, well, the husband-to-be.
Yes, yes, yes.
B, what are you doing sitting here by yourself?
- Drinking. - I can see that.
You need to come out by the pool, 'cause as you see, here's a stone cold boob.
- I need to talk to you, Terry. - What's up?
Without her. Excuse me.
All right, baby. Don't you go too far with my two little friends.
Did you see her? She can breathe.
So what's up? Speak.
Why are you doing this?
Oh, come on. How many times we gotta talk about this?
I've told you, because I think it's about time I grew up.
Don't do it. Don't do it, Terry.
The Brothers, we got a friendship...
a bond.
You, under the guise of growing up, are about to throw it all away.
I'm looking out for us, Terry.
I'm protecting the Brothers.
Uh-uh. You know what your problem is?
You never could hold your liquor, and you talk too damn much.
Come on, man. You wanna look out for me?
Put the drink down, and bring your drunk ass...
and let's go look at some titties.
All right, man.
When it all blows up in your face, you come calling me...
I don't wanna hear about it.
Hi, baby.
All right, B. That's enough. You're my boy, and I love you.
But this is real. You jealous, man.
Yeah, you jealous.
I know you wish you could have somebody to care about. Don't tell me different.
I'm gonna tell you what I discovered, and it's why I'm doing what I'm doing.
Plenty of amazing women are waiting for brothers like us who got it together.
But it takes courage to step up like that.
Courage. See, look at you.
You don't know about that 'cause you can't see past your raggedy-ass dick.
Man, maybe for you, this is all there is.
Goddamn, and if that's the truth, then I feel even worse for you.
Look, you're drunk. There's a party going on here for me.
Half-booty butt-naked women running all over the place.
I'm gonna try to enjoy myself. I'm out.
My dick is not raggedy.
It's big.
Don't be shy.
I'm really flattered that you picked me.
There's some nice-looking women out there.
Yeah, well, I just wanted to... You know.
Yeah, I know. What kind do you want?
- I do everything. - "Everything." What a wonderful word.
I can even get a friend if you really wanna have some fun.
No, no, that...
That ain't gonna be necessary. You know what? How 'bout some head?
- I guess you do know what you want. - Yeah.
It ain't for me. It's for him. He only got one eye.
Oh, Lord, he give me such trouble sometimes.
Be careful now. He kinda swell up when you make him mad.
Poke you in the forehead.
Hard to go to work with a big dick scuff mark on your head, so be cool.
You know, wait, wait.
You change your mind? You want something different?
Look, I can't do this.
You're a beautiful girl, but I'm here with you...
and all I'm thinkin' is that I wish you were my wife.
A man can't make his dick do what his heart can't handle.
That is very profound.
That'll be $50.
Fifty dollars for almost doing something?
You must be Republican.
- But I like your style. - Thanks.
Oh, shut up.
Whoa! Wait here.
What's up? Did you do it?
Nah, I couldn't do it.
- Couldn't do what? - Nothin'.
- I'm gonna hang out in the front. - Please tell me he couldn't do her.
You're not talking about that thing that just walked outta here.
This is what I'm talkin' about. This is it, man.
It's nice of your dad to let us use his place, too, for the party.
Man after my own heart.
He's still freaky, though, huh?
He got all the women for the party too. Dirty old bastard.
Did your girl get on your case about coming here with all these women?
Brian, come on, man, this is me.
- Don't lie to me, boy. - I ain't talkin' about it.
I will beat your drunk ass, man. That shit's Italian.
- I had a little bit to drink. - You're drunk.
I'm nice.
- I've been thinking about some stuff. - What do you think about this one?
That's good.
You know, if we didn't need sex, we really wouldn't want women.
You got issues. You know that.
You just gotta think about it. Just think about what I'm saying to you.
Brian, you're gonna have to stop this cynical attitude, you know?
Just look at me. I was a lost cause, man.
I was having nightmares and shit about commitment.
Then I met Denise, and she turned my life around.
Nah, she turned your ass out.
Hey, call it what you like, but I'm happy.
What about you?
I'm drinking, man. I'm cool.
I just wanna have fun at this party. We've only been here a couple hours.
You know what I mean?
- I'll meet you downstairs. - I'll be there in a sec.
Hey, this is Fred. State your case.
Hi, Fred. It's Denise.
Thanks for being so understanding, but I've decided to tell Jackson about us.
Call me when you get this message. Bye.
Hey, baby. You know, I was hungry.
I thought we could go get something to...
I heard the message you left at my father's place tonight.
- I was gonna tell you. - You were gonna tell me?
So when were you gonna tell me?
On our honeymoon? What about Father's Day?
- That sound about right? - Give me a chance to explain.
There's no need to explain, 'cause I know why it happened.
It happened because you're a woman with no discretion about herself...
personally, emotionally and sexually.
- Did you just call me a ho? - I did not say that word.
But it does seem to be floatin' around somewhere up in here.
Okay, look. You have every right to be angry.
But your father and I got together long before you and I ever met.
He's my father. It doesn't matter when you slept together.
- Is that what you think? - We slept together on the fırst date.
My father is an old-school player. I know he hit it.
You don't know what you're talkin' about.
I don't. Are you saying he didn't hit it?
Okay, Jackson, let's not do this. Let's not let this come between us.
Come on, Denise. It's real simple.
All you gotta say is, "No, Jackson, he didn't hit it"...
or, "Yes, Jackson, he hit it."
You are so blinded by your dislike for Fred...
that you wouldn't believe a damn thing I said to you.
Okay, I think I just got my answer about you and Fred.
- You want an answer? - Yeah.
Here you go. Fred and I met a long time ago...
went out on a few dates, but we did not have sex, okay?
You didn't have sex? Did you kiss him?
Yes.
Now we're gettin' somewhere. So did...
I'm not about to be interrogated about this.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
You made a commitment to me for the fırst time in your life.
Are you just gonna walk away from all of that?
No, I'm walking away from a woman who lied to me, deceived and hurt me.
That's what I'm walking away from.
I'm not gonna give you what you want. I'm not gonna let you just dump me.
You're not gonna let me dump you.
You want to dump me? Is that what you want to do?
No, I'm gonna make you do what's really in your heart.
I'm gonna make you love me.
That's cute, that little reverse psychology trick.
But try that on a brother with a GED...
'cause it gets none right here.
There's no trick to it. It's the truth.
You need me in your life just as much as I need you.
So, you can take me...
with all of my flaws, or we can just both be miserable.
Okay, look. I know that you're scared, Jackson.
I know every time someone's said "I love you," it's turned out bad.
Now you don't know what you're talking about.
It's your mother, all your old girlfriends...
your father.
I know I should have told you about all this a long time ago.
But don't use that as an excuse to go back to the way you were.
Come on.
Please.
Let yourself out.
- See you later. - Bye.
Bastard!
Bye, Mama.
What the fuck?
Hey, Sheila, open the door.
My key don't work.
Yes. I changed the locks. I don't know you anymore.
When you're the man I married, then you can come back.
Open the door, woman! I live here too!
How about you stay here, and I'll go call LAPD?
You know they're real sympathetic to black men in domestic situations.
I'm not scared of the police! Open the...
Boy... Woman, you're lucky I just got saved.
Shut the fuck up!
- What you doin' all dolled up? - Boy, you know how I am.
I wine 'em, I dine 'em...
and bam, it's all over.
What you doin' here?
I just stopped by for a minute.
Who you got comin' over?
Instead of bein' all up in my business...
how come you ain't out tryin' to get back together with Denise?
Believe me, you don't want to know.
'Cause she is defınitely not the one.
You looked just like your daddy when you said that.
And you just found a way to make me leave.
Your father's comin' by here tonight.
- How long has this been goin' on? - Since your sister's party.
He came back to apologize for bringin' that girl.
And you know I was lookin' good.
Let me tell you something about Daddy and your little golden girl Denise.
They had a thing together.
- I knew. - You knew. And you don't care?
'Cause nothin' happened between them.
It was before she met you.
Your father is charming and handsome and all those things.
Did it ever occur to you that she might have seen the same qualities in you?
I can't believe she sucked you in with that "nothin' happened" stuff.
She's not the one who told me. She tried, but I didn't let her.
You father had already told me everything.
Nobody cared enough to tell me?
What makes you think you can trust him anymore than I can trust her?
He didn't have to tell me, Jackson. And I know him.
Mama, you've got to stop seein' Daddy.
And do what?
You're gone. Your sister's leavin'.
I'm throwin' parties every other night just to have people around.
Your father and I are comfortable with each other, Jackson.
- And I do have my needs. - No, Mama, not the needs.
I know that you still love him, but you're gonna have to let him go.
I won't let him go.
We had a marriage...
Iove and children, and nothing is stronger than that.
Okay, and then what?
Is he gonna come here and get you excited about gettin' back together?
Then he's just gonna run...
and break your heart again.
Maybe.
But I can handle that.
That girl loves you.
What you gonna do about it?
I gotta go.
So do you still think about her?
Yep. Every day.
Do you still think that...
she and your father were sexually intimate?
I don't know.
Probably not.
If that's the case, then why don't you go back to her...
talk it out?
I just don't have it in me. I get too mad, too scared.
Let's explore that.
No offense, but this is gonna be my last session.
You're giving up?
I know love's supposed to be a beautiful thing, but I can't get with it.
I go up, love goes down. I go left, love goes right.
I say I'm ready, love says, "Not yet. She dated your father."
Maybe there is love out there, but it's runnin' from me.
I can't keep chasin' it.
Is that the kind of existence you want?
Life without love in it?
Come on, baby! Take it!
Come on, baby! Take it!
Get it!
Damn!
Give me skin!
- We just got kicked by a girl. - My bad, man.
You need a dress the way you've been playin'.
Yo, D.
I'm sorry to hear about you and Sheila.
Yeah, well, I was too, but that's life.
No, man, that's just women.
Come on. Shut up.
They're always tryin' to jam up a brother like that.
They always complain, like we're the bad guys.
Writin' all those man-hatin' books like Waiting to Exhale.
Check this out. I'm gonna write a book.
- It's called Breathe, Bitch. - Man.
Boy, you are retarded.
You always gotta use that word like it's synonymous with women?
I use the word 'cause it applies, man.
You need to check yourself.
How many times I gotta tell you to start showin' the ladies some love?
All the shit you be doin'?
You got no business callin' women names.
- Oh, really? - Really.
- Bitches by Terry White. - No, not the poem.
That was, like, when I was ten years old.
"I would trade my life...
and all its riches...
to rid my life of all the bitches.
To watch a game, just eatin' and drinkin'.
To say, 'Yo, get out of my face'...
when she asks, 'Baby, what you thinkin'?
To hang with my boys and not worry a bit.
To get me a little ass...
and get on with my shit.
To have a good life, baby, free from affliction...
barefoot, pregnant and in the motherfuckin' kitchen.
You are stupid.
But, hey, they got the booty. Now, that's the hitch.
And us without them...
now, ain't that a bitch."
- You got issues. - Thank you.
I know you're all feelin' me right now.
You will never work for Hallmark that way.
Where have you been? I'm going crazy.
Calm down. Tell me what's goin' on with Mama.
I think she's having some kind of a fıt. I think it's about Daddy.
I knew it. We're gonna put an end to this shit.
Surprise!
Sorry, big brother.
It was so easy to fool you.
That's because you're gettin' old, baby boy.
- The mind is the fırst thing to go. - And you know what goes after that.
- Happy birthday, baby! - Thank you.
- Happy birthday, son. - All right.
J, where's your walker, man?
Oh, man, what's up? Happy birthday. Wait.
- Somethin' done fell out. - Don't hurt him.
Get you some of them blue slacks that's tight in the front.
You okay, son?
You've been mopin' around all night.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were having an early midlife crisis.
Somethin' like that.
Hell, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat.
Shoot.
Wait till you get to be my age.
That's when your body really starts to go crazy.
You start losin' the hair on your head and growin' it in your nose.
Why didn't you tell me you dated Denise?
She asked me not to.
I mean, you seemed to like Denise...
and I didn't see any reason for me to stand in the way.
I believe you young guys call that...
player-hating.
Look. Why don't we talk about this later...
after everybody's gone, okay?
Why don't we talk about why you're sleeping with my mother?
Louise and I have an arrangement. That's all.
Damn it, son. I'm sorry, okay?
That's the fırst thing you said all night that I agree with.
Do you know what I realized? I'm just like you...
'cause I can't do right by a woman either.
I deserved that.
I haven't been much of a friend or a father lately. I know.
See, I hate it when you do that.
- When I do what? - Rationalize your faults like that.
Can't you just have one moment of shame about your shit?
- What has gotten into you? - You. That's what's gotten into me.
I inherited your eyes, your nose and your ugly contempt for women.
- You don't mean that, son. - Oh, yes, I do.
You broke up this family with your arrogance and selfıshness.
Now it's just gotten into me.
It's been a long night, Jack. You've had a little too much to drink.
Get out of my face. I don't want to talk to you.
No, son, I'm talkin' to you.
Because you've been drinking, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
- Really? - Really.
Stay the fuck out of my life.
Did you hear that?
Let me tell you somethin', boy. I am still your father!
And you do not talk...
Come on. Dance with me, baby.
Come on, now.
All right, baby.
Terry's not comin'?
Nah, he hooked up with BeBe. They're meeting with a wedding planner tonight.
See, it's startin' already.
You put your boys on the back burner, and more and more, you just don't care.
The next thing you know, you're wearin' an apron, washin' dishes...
and you got a feather duster up your ass.
Why do all your stories end with a feather duster up somebody's ass?
- What is that? This guy. - Don't listen to him.
Damn. Hey, look, Jack.
Turn around slowly and look who just walked in.
Hi, guys.
You wanna go somewhere and talk?
I don't really think that's gonna be a good idea.
This is Zeno. Zeno, that's Jackson...
Derrick, and that would be Brian.
- I see our people, honey. Let's go. - That's right.
Nice to see you guys again.
- He's not her type. - Is he white?
She's just tryin' to get me mad, but I'm not even stressin' out.
No, I think he's Asian.
It's the oldest trick in the book.
She brings some other cat here she don't care about...
tryin' to pretend like she don't care about me.
I'm not buyin' it.
- Maybe he's Latino or an Indian. - What difference does his race make?
SoJack can know how pissed off he should be.
ButJackson is not mad. I just want to go talk to him for a minute.
Whoa, scooter, come on.
Don't do that. That's what she wants you to do.
Besides, the boy might know karate, right, Brian?
Very funny. You know what we should do? There's a lot of ladies here.
- Let's get our little party on. - You're right.
I'm feelin' you with that right there.
It is an epidemic in here. Check this out.
What?
Oh, I know she ain't just dissed me like that.
- Comin' up in here with Amistad. - "Give us free."
This joint is hot tonight, let me tell you.
- That's it. Can we get the check? - Okay, it's comin'.
I ain't leavin'. Jesse ain't runnin' me out of here.
You know what I just realized? I am separated from my wife...
and yet I'm doin' better than both of you.
- Shut the fuck up, all right? - Don't be mad at me.
All right. The separation agreement is complete.
What's up, man? You all right?
No, I'm not all right.
What's goin' on, man? Talk to me.
Have a drink.
Terry, no, man.
J, look. I can't do it. I can't do it.
I was cool until a few days ago.
But, man, I was at work, I looked at the calendar...
I realized this wedding is two weeks away, man!
Two weeks!
I can't. I'm makin' a big mistake marryin' BeBe.
It's just cold feet. You'll get over that.
It's not cold feet. I'm tellin' you, I'm not ready.
Terry, why? You're supposed to have your shit together.
I know. J, I did, man. I did.
I thought it was time. You know what I'm sayin'?
I think I was doin' this 'cause I was tryin' to make myself believe...
I could move on with my life.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I realized that shit wasn't true.
So how did BeBe take it when you told her?
- You didn't tell her? - Yeah, I told her. Of course I did.
- I left her a message on her machine. - On her answering machine.
- You left her a message? - Yeah, I left her a message!
- Why don't you back off? - Don't scream on me.
This is your fucked-up shit.
All right. My bad, man. My bad.
She already heard the message.
She called me ten times today.
You got anything stronger than this shit here?
- I'm callin' the fellas. - No, don't call nobody.
At a time like this, you need to be with your boys.
Don't call Brian, 'cause I already know what his sorry ass is gonna say.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!
Brian, fuck you.
Sorry, Terry, but I did. I know you.
You don't want to get married. Come on.
And the way you dropped her on the answering machine was brilliant.
Come on, Brian. Have some sympathy for the man.
Hey, Terry, I know how you feel.
Look.
I never told you fellas this...
but the only reason I married Sheila was 'cause she was pregnant.
- We knew that. - Come on, man.
All right. The point is, we fell in love later and shit was good.
Yeah, I had second thoughts. Thirds and fourths too.
You've got to search your soul and fınd a reason to go back to that girl.
Please. How can you say that after what Sheila did to you?
All right. So I made a mistake. But I made that mistake like a man.
I stood up for what was right at the time, and Terry should do the same.
Then he'd be cheatin' BeBe and himself. You need to think about this, D.
Come on, Jack. What kind of friends are you two?
- Terry's gotta do the right thing. - Terry needs to run like hell.
You need to shut your woman-hatin' ass up.
Why I gotta shut up? I'm tryin' to help.
I'm just tellin' the truth, man. My bad, my bad, my bad.
I'm gonna do this forJack. All right? Cool. I apologize.
Yeah, me too. Sorry.
Denise dated my father before we hooked up.
Goddamn! Shit!
- Get outta here. For real? - Yeah.
Denise boned your father?
No, she said it was just a date, but she kept that shit from me.
I found out, couldn't take it and had to cut her loose.
I don't blame you for that.
I thought I had somethin' special with Denise, you know?
And I lost it.
Ain't no loss, Jack. If she boned your father, she's a ho.
- What the fuck is wrong with you? - What are you talking about?
- He's your boy! Show him some respect! - I'm just keepin' it real.
Why I can't speak my mind? I got shit to say tonight.
- You're ignorant. - Forget it. Whatever.
You know what, Jack? I apologize, all right?
Anybody else got some revelations?
- My wife wouldn't go down on me. - What?
- Shut up. - You should keep that to yourself.
Either the relationship wasn't strong enough or she didn't care.
Either way, I got dry dick. I'm scared to zip up my pants.
I'll fuck around and go off like a fırecracker.
Yo, that's irreconcilable differences for your ass.
They gotta start puttin' that straight in the weddin' vows.
I mean, love, honor, obey and slob the damn knob.
For sure.
You know what? I've been doin' some thinkin'.
We come out here and talk a whole lot of shit.
Complainin' about the honeys, what they want, what they don't want.
Maybe the ladies ain't the problem. Maybe we're the problem.
- Get outta here. - What shit are you talkin' about?
Just feel me on this. All I'm saying...
is maybe we need to check our own shit a little bit.
If you don't come your "shabbado for electric bugaloo" ass home...
When you go home and spank your monkey, that's some lonely shit.
That's why you got desert dick.
How's BeBe doin', man?
Shit. Terrible.
She came by the apartment this mornin', cryin', screamin'.
I mean, carrying on.
I had to run out the back door to avoid her ass. She was actin' crazy.
I can't blame her, Mr. Telephone Man.
You probably called her ass collect, didn't you?
You ain't funny. Shut up.
She followed my black ass to work. Had me hidin' out in the janitor's closet.
You're gonna have to stop doin' that shit. I'm serious.
You owe her the respect of telling her face-to-face what the deal is.
I know this, and I will. But you're not hearin' me.
BeBe was on some different shit,J.
I'm gonna talk to her, but she needs to chill out.
- I just need a little more time. - Yeah, more time. All right.
We're gonna get carjacked in a minute. Where you takin' me?
- We got to get Brian's issued ass. - For what?
Man, his car is all jacked up.
Do you know how many times I told him to move out of this neighborhood?
It's not the neighborhood. Some woman is stalkin' him.
- Get the fuck outta here. - Yes. The messed up part about it is...
he's messed over so many women, he don't even know who it is.
Ugly, ugly, ugly.
These are not photos I put in my magazine.
These are not photos I put in my magazine.
I don't know where you got these from. I hired a good photographer.
You're in charge of hiring that...
Can you guys excuse me for a minute? Thank you.
I just...
thought I'd come by and say hi.
No reason we can't be civil to each other.
Hey, for what it's worth...
I'm sorry about all those nasty things I said.
We gotta be around each other for the baby, so...
I was hopin' we could be adults about it when we do.
All right.
I went out last weekend with my girlfriends to a club.
Kind of a freedom celebration type thing.
Freedom? I don't think I should hear this.
And this guy asked me to dance.
- What guy? - Just some guy.
He asked me to dance, and I just started cryin'.
It freaked him out.
Then my girlfriends told me it was natural to feel that way.
Then they started telling me stories about their exes.
And baby, these women have been disrespected...
in ways you couldn't even imagine.
I'm sitting there thinking to myself...
"All my husband wanted was to make love to me and to take care of his mother."
And I just felt so stupid.
What are you saying, Sheila?
I'm sayin'...
that I was wrong, Derrick, and I love you so much.
You mean the world to me. I didn't realize how much that was worth.
You know, I...
I tried to hurt you by bringin' Mama home to live without talkin' it over.
- Yes, you did. - Hey, I apologize.
And if it's okay with you, can I be your husband again?
Oh, baby, I forgot how cute you are when you get mushy.
Okay, wait. Go lock the door. Lock the door!
Don't you threaten me with a good time.
Hell, no!
Wow.
- Goddamn! - What's up, fellas?
- How do you like the paint job? - That's kind of sweet.
You're always in your drawers. Get dressed.
All right. Just let me get out of this suit.
- You gotta get a maid. - For real.
- I had one. It didn't work out. - You had sex with her, didn't you?
She was fıne.
Get down! I told you to move out of the damn projects!
Why you yellin' at me? I ain't the nut shootin' up the neighborhood!
You guys need to stop arguin' and call the cops.
I wanna talk to you, honey!
That's your bitch!
Oh, my God, that is BeBe.
- Your woman's tryin' to kill us? - Go talk to her.
What am I gonna tell her? How many bullets to put in my ass?
- I ain't goin' nowhere! - I ain't goin' out like no punk.
I'm gonna go out there and let her know how I feel.
- It feels better right here. - How many times have I told you?
She won fırst place in a marksman contest.
Great! You had to go piss off the bitch from The Matrix.
Terry, come on, baby. I...
Iove...
you.
- What the hell's goin' on? - We're gonna be here all day.
Somebody had to hear them shots. They'll call the police.
In this neighborhood? Are you crazy? A gunshot's like a doorbell.
Okay, wait.
- I'm gonna go talk to her. - What?
If she wanted to shoot us, she would've shot us by now.
- I'm gonna go talk her down. - Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
J, wait a minute.
Damn! I got us in this mess. I'm gonna get us out.
No, Terry, she is mad at you. I'll do it.
Cool.
What?
- Be careful,J. - Terry, baby!
What the hell is she doin' here?
She's been following me around all week. She's buggin' out.
Hell.
It's me, Jackson.
I don't want you, Jackson. I want Terry!
All right, BeBe. Just listen to me for a minute, okay?
Terry, get your weak ass out here before I shoot your friend's dick off.
Hey, wait.
Listen. You don't want to do something you're gonna regret.
Listen, BeBe. I know how you feel.
Men don't know shit!
No, I do know.
See, right now you're feelin' like you're nothin'.
See, you look out into the world...
and all you can see is just the person that you want...
the love that you thought was yours.
I know, because I've made women feel that way, BeBe.
And for the fırst time, it's come back on me.
It made Denise leave me.
I let all my problems and all my bullshit blind me...
from somethin' I've been lookin' for my entire life.
Now I feel like somebody dropped a mountain on my heart.
What the fuck you talkin' about?
I'm talkin' about love, BeBe.
Now, if you really love Terry...
and I know you do...
then losing you will hurt him more than anything you could ever do.
But he's got to fınd that out for himself.
Okay?
So just... Just...
It's okay.
You all right? Just give me the gun.
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay, all right?
It's gonna be okay.
BeBe, I'm sorry.
BeBe, I'm sorry.
Y'all know who's gonna fıx this shit?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Man, I thought I'd never see this day.
Me neither. But I'm loving it.
Yeah, me too.
Well, I'm gonna go meet some men.
No use wastin' the dress. You know what I'm sayin'?
No, wait. Hey, wait.
Hey, son.
I just wanted to say thank you before it got all crazy around here.
Thank me for what?
Let's just say you woke me up...
helped me to turn my eyes back to what's important in life.
You know, they say...
a father should be wiser than his son.
I'm just glad this time it turned out not to be true.
Oh, look at this. Look at this.
I love when my men are affectionate.
Gotta do this again, man.
- You gonna go? - Yeah.
- I love you, Ma. - I love you too.
- Yo, what's up? - Your brother's gettin' big.
Yeah. I fınally talked my mom into lettin' him stay with me too.
Cool.
J, you're the man of the hour. Moms and Pops are doin' their thing.
- You gotta be feelin' pretty good. - Yeah.
Congratulations, Big Jack. That's how you do it.
I'm lookin' at your dad and mom, and I can't believe he's doing it again.
Look at him. He looks happy, don't he?
- I'm just sayin'. - Just like me and mine.
I don't want to brag, but let's just say...
a young brother's gettin' all he can stand these days.
What?
- Back up off me. - That's my man.
- Let's have a Brothers toast on that. - I gotta hold out.
I gotta fınd BeBe and make sure she's not havin' any flashbacks.
- I'm gonna give her some love. - Sheila, get away from BeBe.
- We don't need them kind of problems. - I see somethin' special there...
that I need to talk to.
- Can you handle this? - I got it. Do your thing.
- I'll talk to you later. - All right.
Yeah, I don't know. I thought about it.
Excuse me.
- May I fıll your glass? - You sure can.
On that note, I'm gonna get something to drink.
Well, get me another champagne.
Honey, had I had a gun the time I married Derrick...
I need to talk to you.
I don't want to do this, Jackson, right now.
The only reason I'm here is 'cause your mom asked me to come.
Okay, wait. I have to tell you what's been happening to me.
It took me a while to get it, but I found out where we both went wrong.
Now it's your turn to give me a chance.
I'm sorry. I can't.
Wait.
You said you were gonna make me love you.
Remember? You were right.
No, Jackson, I was wrong. I was wrong about the whole thing.
It's too late anyway.
I gotta go. There's no more cake left anyway.
Wait. Just wait.
You can have mine.
It's good.
That's maybe the best thing I've ever eaten in my life.
I don't know. Maybe we can talk...
- Like we ain't right here. - Hello.
Do you need a minute?
Yes.
Yeah. But don't go too far, okay?
Never.
Oh, there they go.
Here we go. Love.
Sprung!
Hello. Hey, Jackson, what the hell was that?
You know what? You wouldn't understand.
- Let's do this. - Come on.
- What y'all want to drink to? - To love. No questions.
Hell, no. Do somethin' else.
Here it is. I got it. To us, fellas.
- Yeah, to the Brothers. - To the Brothers.
So, if I had a dick, would you suck it?
Yes, I would suck your dick...
with a midget and a throw pillow attached to my ass.
You know, I'm gonna go. I gotta go give... Shit.
You gotta go shit.
That's all that messing with them gold-diggin' booger bastards.
Try for Big Daddy. Come on, now.
Just bob and weave on the bald head.
I would suck your dick till your head caved in.
- I reject my pussy. - Say it again.
- I reject my pussy. - The pussy?
Say hi, Barnabas.
That's it. Moment. Set.
You got me hard as threeJaguar payments! This is bullshit!
Yeah, early for a fuck, late for everything else!
Girl, it's good for your complexion.
You don't think your mama's skin looks so good 'cause she got Indian in her?
Look, honey, I'll show you my technique.
- Okay, do it. - Give me that bottle.
I can't.
That ain't no fırewood you messin' with.
Stop when you smell smoke.
Misery is a motherfucker.
Your mama sucks so much dick, she's got kneepads sewn on all her dresses.
You can do it.
Come on. Don't be scared of the one-eyed serpent.
I would suck your dick wearin' a seventh grade jockstrap...
doin' the hambone to the theme from Green Acres.
You wouldn't have to use that Noxzema if you do it right!
What?
You gettin' some muscles, ain't ya?
Draw a picture taped to my head and a sparkler in my ass!
Baby, come here.
- I'll be right back. - Your mama's a freak.
I'd have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
- Dead ho, question mark ho. - Have a good time.
- French? - No, not French. English!
You don't understand none of that?
I oughta kick that bitch's ass.
Eatin' a half a bag of Pop Rocks...
and watchin' the director's cut of Dusty's Treehouse.
Hey, don't be scared. That ain't no eclipse.
It's just me.
Oh, baby. It's so damn good.
- That's right. - Oh, suki, suki, now.
Anybody else got some "refolate..."
Anybody got some revelations?
I'm scared to zip up my pants. I'm gonna fuck around and start...
What I'm sayin' is...
B-Happy
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Belle Epoque CD1
Belle Epoque CD2
Belle and La Bete La (1946)
Bellinin And The Spynx CD1
Bellinin And The Spynx CD2
Bells Of St Marys The (1945)
Belly Of The Beast
Belly of an Architect The
Below
Belphegor
Ben-Hur CD1
Ben-Hur CD2
Bend It Like Beckham
Bend of the River 1952
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Benny and Joon
Bernie
Best years of our lives 1946
Bet on My Disco
Better Off Dead 1985
Better Than Chocolate
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD1
Better Tomorrow 2 A CD2
Better Tomorrow 3 A
Better Way To Die A
Betty
Between Heaven and Hell
Beverly Hillbillies The 1993
Beverly Hills Ninja
Beyond Borders CD1
Beyond Borders CD2
Beyond The
Beyond The Clouds
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD1
Bez konca (No End 1985) CD2
Biches Les (Claude Chabrol 1968)
Bicho de sete cabezas
Bichunmoo CD1
Bichunmoo CD2
Big
Big Blue The CD1
Big Blue The CD2
Big Bounce The
Big Chill The
Big Daddy
Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958)
Big Fat Liar
Big Fish 2003
Big Hit The
Big Lebowski The
Big Mommas House
Big Nihgt
Big Shot - A Confessions of a Campus Bookie 2002
Big Sleep The
Big clock The 1948
Big girls dont cry
Biker boyz
Billy Elliot
Billy Madison 1995
Biloxi blues
Bingwoo 2004 CD1
Bingwoo 2004 CD2
Bio Dome
Bio Hunter
Bio Zombie
Bionicle 2 A Legends of Metru-Nui
Bionicle Mask Of Light 2003
Birch Tree Meadow The
Bird People in China The 1998 CD1
Bird People in China The 1998 CD2
Bird on a wire
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD1
Bishops Wife The 1947 CD2
Bite the bullet
Bitter Sugar (Azucar amarga)
Black Angel
Black Sabbath
BlackAdder 1x1 - The Foretelling
BlackAdder 1x2 - Born to be King
BlackAdder 1x3 - The Archbishop
BlackAdder 1x4 - The Queen of Spains Beard
BlackAdder 1x5 - Witchsmeller Pursuivant
BlackAdder 1x6 - The Black Seal
BlackAdder 2x1 - Bells
BlackAdder 2x2 - Head
BlackAdder 2x3 - Potato
BlackAdder 2x4 - Money
BlackAdder 2x5 - Beer
BlackAdder 2x6 - Chains
BlackAdder 4x1 - Captain Cook
BlackAdder 4x2 - Corporal Punishment
BlackAdder 4x3 - Major Star
BlackAdder 4x4 - Private Plane
BlackAdder 4x5 - General Hospital
BlackAdder 4x6 - Goodbyeee
BlackAdder Christmas Carol 1988
BlackAdder The Cavalier Years
BlackAdder the Third 3x1
BlackAdder the Third 3x2
BlackAdder the Third 3x3
BlackAdder the Third 3x4
BlackAdder the Third 3x5
BlackAdder the Third 3x6
Black Adder V - Back and Forth
Black Christmas
Black Hawk Down
Black Knight
Black Mask
Black Mask 2
Black Orpheus
Black Rain CD1
Black Rain CD2
Black Sheep
Black Widow 1987
Black and White (1998)
Blackout The 1997 CD1
Blackout The 1997 CD2
Blacula
Blade
Blade 3 - Trinity
Blade Of Fury
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD1
Blade Runner (1982 Original Cut) CD2
Blade Runner Directors Cut
Blair Witch Project The
Blame It On Rio
Blast From The Past 1999
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Blazing Sun (1960) CD1
Blazing Sun (1960) CD2
Bleeder
Bless The Child
Blind Beast
Blind Chance (1987) CD1
Blind Chance (1987) CD2
Blind Spot Hitlers Secretary (2002)
Blind date
Bliss
Blob The 1988
Blood Crime
Blood Wedding (1981)
Blood Work
Blood and Black Lace
Blow 2001 CD1
Blow 2001 CD2
Blow Dry 2001
Blown Away 1994 CD1
Blown Away 1994 CD2
Blue (Derek Jarman)
Blue Car
Blue Collar Comedy Tour The Movie
Blue Max The CD1
Blue Max The CD2
Blue Moon
Blue Planet The 1
Blue Planet The 2 - The Deep
Blue Planet The 3 - Open Ocean
Blue Planet The 4 - Frozen Seas
Blue Spring 2001
Blue Velvet
Blue juice 1995
Blue thunder
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD1
Blues Brothers The (1980) CD2
Blues Harp
Boat Trip - Feedback Overflow
Bob Le Flambeur 1955
Bob Marley Story - Rebel Music
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body Double
Body Heat
Body The
Boiler Room
Bola El
Bone Collector The
Bonnie and Clyde
Book of Fate The
Book of Pooh The
Boondock Saints The
Boot Das 1981 CD1
Boot Das 1981 CD2
Born Romantic
Boucher Le
Bounce
Bourne supremacy The-1CD
Boxcar Bertha
Boy Who Saw The Wind The
Boys and Girls
Boyz N the Hood
Branca de Neve
Bread and Roses
Breakfast Club The
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Breakin all the rules
Breaking Away
Bride with White Hair The
Bridge Man The CD1
Bridge Man The CD2
Bright Future
Broadway Danny Rose
Brother (Takeshi Kitano)
Brother Sun Sister Moon 1972
Brother from Another Planet The 1984
Brotherhood Of The Wolf
Brothers The
Buddy
Buena Estrella La (Lucky Star)
Buffalo Soldiers
Bug 1975
Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Big Top Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid (1942)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny and the Three Bears (1944)
Bugs Bunny - Bugs and Thugs (1954)
Bugs Bunny - Bully for Bugs (1953)
Bugs Bunny - Frigid Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - Hair-Raising Hare (1946)
Bugs Bunny - Haredevil Hare (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Long Haired Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny - My Bunny Lies Over the Sea (1948)
Bugs Bunny - Rabbits Kin (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Tortoise Wins by a Hare (1943)
Bugs Bunny - Wabbit Twouble (1941)
Bugs Bunny - Water Water Every Hare (1952)
Bugs Bunny - Whats Up Doc (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Fire (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck - Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
Bugs Bunny and Elmer - Rabbit of Seville (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Taz - Devil May Hare (1954)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Ballot Box Bunny (1951)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Big House Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)
Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam - High Diving Hare (1949)
Bugs Life A
Bullet Ballet
Bullet in the Head
Bulletproof Monk 2003
Bullets Over Broadway
Bully (Unrated Theatrical Edition)
Burning Paradise (Ringo Lam 1994)
Burnt Money
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid A Special Edition
Butchers Wife The