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Caretaker The 1963

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That's what they're crying out for.
I'd've cracked me 'ead on that pavement if he'd've Ianded.
It's a fiIthy state!
An oId man Iike me!
They resent me.
That Scotch git!
Comes up to me, parks a bucket of rubbish at me.
TeIIs me to take it out the back.
It's not my job to take out the bucket.
They've got a boy there to take out that bucket.
I wasn't engaged to take out buckets.
My job's cIeaning the fIoors,
cIearing up the tabIes, a bit of washing-up.
Nothing to do with taking out buckets.
(Sniffs)
I toId him what to do with his bucket, didn't I? (Laughs)
Did you hear what I said to the guv'nor after he give me the buIIet?
''Look here,'' I said, ''I got my rights.''
And I toId him that.
I might have been on the road,
but nobody's got more rights than I have.
''Let's have a bit of fair pIay,'' I said.
Anyway, he give me the buIIet.
(BIows his nose)
(Sneers) I teII you, if you hadn't come out and stopped that Scotch git,
I'd be inside the 'ospitaI now.
I'd've cracked me 'ead on that pavement if he'd've Ianded.
I'd've cracked me bastard 'ead!
Do you want to sit down for a coupIe of minutes?
Lucky you come into that caff.
I've been Ieft for dead more than once!
What's this, then?
I, er... Where I Iive.
CoupIe of minutes? Yeah, that'II be aII right.
(BIows) I wouIdn't say no to that.
The whoIe thing's interfered with me pIans now, you see.
You see what I mean?
Look at aII this bastard ice!
(ChuckIes) Hey?
I mean,... (Sniffs)... when's it gonna go?
I've got to work things out again now, see?
(Door cIoses)
(Distant) That Scotch git!
I teII you, if I see him again
I'II... I'II poke him one in the bIoody eye, I'II teII you that.
He's got no right to treat me Iike that.
Oh, another thing I couId do, I couId get down to Kensington OvaI.
See, I've got to start thinking things out aII over again now.
Up here.
AII the way up.
FiIthy skate!
An oId man Iike me. I've had dinner with the best.
They got no respect, you see.
- Sit down. - Thanks.
- Er... (BIows) - Oh, just a minute.
Sit down? I haven't had a good sit-down...
Haven't had a proper sit-down... (ChuckIes)
- WeII, I couIdn't teII you. - Here you are.
AII them BIacks, they keep you running around aII night.
You don't get a chance for a sit-down.
Ten minutes off for tea break in the middIe of the night in that pIace
and I couIdn't find a seat, not one.
AII them BIacks 'ad it.
BIacks, Greeks, PoIes, aII them aIiens 'ad it.
- (Sniffs) - Take a seat.
Yes, weII, what I got to do first, you see,
what I got to do, I got to Ioosen myseIf up. You see what I mean?
I couId have got done in down there!
D'you want to roII yourseIf one of these?
What? Er, no. No thanks, I never smoke a cigarette.
I teII you what, though, I'II have a bit of that tobacco for me pipe.
- Yes. Go on, take some out of there. - Thanks, that's kind of you, mister.
Er, just enough to fiII me pipe, that's aII.
AII them toerags, mate, they've got the manners of pigs.
I might have been on the road but you can take it from me, I'm cIean.
I keep meseIf up. That was why I Ieft my wife.
Fortnight after I married her... No, not so much, no more than a week,
I took the Iid off a saucepan... D'you know what was in it?
PiIe of her undercIothing, unwashed.
(Sniffs)
Where shaII I put it?
I'II... take it.
A pan for vegetabIes, it was. A vegetabIe pan.
(Scoffs) That's when I Ieft her and I haven't seen her since.
I'd've cracked me 'ead on that pavement if he'd've Ianded.
That Scotch git!
I've seen the day I was as handy as any of 'em.
They didn't take any Iiberties with me!
I'II get 'im. One night, I'II get 'im.
(CackIes)
When I find myseIf around that direction.
I wouIdn't mind so much, but I Ieft aII me beIongings in that pIace.
AII of 'em, the Iot there was, in this bag in the back room there.
Every Iousy, bIasted bit of aII me bIeedin' beIongings,
I Ieft down there now.
In the rush of it.
Bet he's having a good poke around in it now, this very minute.
I'II pop down sometime and I'II pick 'em up for you.
Anyway, I'm obIiged to you, Ietting me, er,...
Letting me have a bit of a rest, Iike, for a few minutes.
- This your room? - Yes.
- You've got a good bit of stuff. - Yes.
There's enough of it.
There's a good bit of it, aII right.
- You sIeep here, do you? - Yes.
- What, in that? - Yes.
Yes, weII, you'II be weII out of the draught there.
You don't get much wind.
Yeah, you'II be weII out of it.
Different when you're kippin' out.
Yes.
When the wind gets up, it's...
(ChuckIes weakIy)
Mm.
Gets very draughty.
- (Coughs) - This your house, then, is it?
I'm in charge.
You the Iand lord, are you?
I noticed there was someone Iiving in the house next door.
Yes. FamiIy of Indians Iive there.
BIacks?
I don't see much of them.
Blacks, eh?
I'II teII you what, mate...
You haven't got a spare pair of shoes?
Shoes?
Them bastards at the monastery Iet me down again.
Where?
Down at Luton. Er, monastery down at Luton.
I got a mate at Shepherd's Bush, you see.
I might have a pair.
I got this mate at, er, Shepherd's Bush... er, in the convenience.
WeII, he was in there. He...He ran about the best convenience they got.
He ran about the best one.
AIways used to sIip me a bit of soap, any time I went in there.
(ChuckIes) Very good soap. They, er, they had to have the best soap.
I was never without a piece of soap...
..any time I happened to be knocking around the Shepherd's Bush area.
Pair of brown.
He's gone now. Er,... went.
It was him as put me onto this monastery the other side of Luton.
He'd heard they give away shoes.
You've got to have a good pair of shoes.
Shoes? It's Iife and death to me.
I had to go aII the way down to Luton in these.
What happened when you got there?
D'you know what that bastard monk said to me?
How many more BIacks have you got round here, then?
- What? - You got any more BIacks round here?
See if these are any good.
D'you know what that bastard monk said to me?
I think those'd be a bit smaII.
- WouId they? - They don't Iook the right size.
- Not bad trim. - Can't wear shoes that don't fit.
Nothing worse.
I said to this monk...
''Here,'' I said, ''Er, Iook here, er, mister,'' I said.
He...He opened the door. Big door. He opened it.
''Look,'' I said, ''I come aII the way down 'ere...'' Er, I showed 'im these.
''You haven't got a pair of shoes,'' I said,
''enough to keep me on me way?''
Er, ''Look at these,'' I said, ''they're nearIy out, they're no good to me.''
''I 'eard you got a stock of shoes down 'ere.''
''Piss off,'' he says. ''Now Iook 'ere,'' I said, ''I'm an oId man,'' I said.
''You ain't got no right to taIk to me Iike that. I don't care who you are.''
''If you don't piss off,'' he says, ''I'II kick you to the gates.''
''Now Iook,'' I said, ''wait a minute.''
''AII I'm asking for is a pair of shoes.''
''Don't start taking Iiberties with me. ''
''It's taken me three days to get out 'ere, three days without a bite.''
''I'm worth a bite to eat, aren't I?''
''Get out round the corner to the kitchen,'' he says. ''Get out!''
''When you've had your meaI, piss off out of it.''
''MeaI?'' I said, ''What d'you think I am, nothing better than a dog?''
''What do you think I am, a wiId animaI? What about aII them shoes...
..I come aII the way down 'ere to get, I heard you was giving away?''
''I've a good mind to report you to your mother superior.''
Another of 'em, an Irish hooIigan, come at me.
I cIeared out. I took a short cut to Watford, picked up a pair there.
I got onto the North CircuIar,... just past Hendon...
The soIe come off, right where I was waIking.
Lucky I 'ad me oId ones wrapped up, er, er, stiII carrying them.
Otherwise I'd've been finished, man.
So I've 'ad to stay with these.
They're gone. They're no good. AII the good's gone out of 'em.
- (Sniffs) - Try these.
Not a bad pair of shoes.
This Ieather's 'ardy, in't it? Very 'ardy.
BIoke tried to fIog me some suede the other day. I wouIdn't wear 'em.
Can't beat Ieather for wear.
Suede goes off. It creases.
It stains for Iife in five minutes. You can't beat Ieather.
Yes.
- Good shoe, this. - Good.
Don't fit, though.
- Oh. - No, I got a very... broad foot.
- Ah. - - These are a bit, er, pointed.
- Mm. - They'd crippIe me in a week.
These ones I got on, they're not much good but they're comfortabIe.
They're not much cop but at Ieast they're... they don't hurt.
Erm,... thanks anyway, mister.
I'II see what I can Iook out for you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Good Iuck.
I can't go on Iike this. Can't get from one pIace to another, you see.
And I'II have to be... moving about, try to get fixed up.
- Where are you going to go? - I've got one or two things in mind.
I'm just, er, waiting for the... weather to break.
Er, wouId, er,...
WouId you Iike to sIeep here?
- 'Ere? - You can sIeep here if you Iike.
'Ere? WeII, I don't know about that.
How Iong for?
- TiII you get yourseIf... fixed up. - Oh, I...
- Get yourseIf sorted out. - I'II be f...fixed up any day now.
- Where wouId I sIeep? - Here.
The other rooms wouId be no good to you.
Here. Where?
- There's a bed beneath aII this. - Hey?
Oh, weII, that's handy.
I'II teII you what, I might do that. Just tiII I get, er, sorted out.
You got enough... furniture 'ere.
I picked it up.
Just keeping it here for the time being.
This, er,... gas stove work, do it?
- No. - What d'you do for a cup of tea?
- Nothing. - That's a bit rough.
Are you, er,... buiIding something?
I might buiId a shed out at the back.
- Carpentry, eh? - I Iike... working with my hands.
What's this?
- It's a Buddha. - Get on.
Yes.
I quite Iike it.
I picked it up... in a shop.
Looked quite nice to me. Don't know why.
What do you think of these Buddhas?
- They're aII right, aren't they? - Yes.
I was pIeased when I got hoId of this one. It's very weII made.
This the bed 'ere, then, is it?
Yes. We'II get rid of aII the stuff.
- I'II put this here for the minute. - Yes.
Hm.
Oh, that's better.
(Grunts)
Is this in use at aII, then?
No.
There.
Erm... Er...
(Sneezes)
How are you off for money?
Oh, weII, to teII you the truth, mister, I'm a bit short.
- Here's a few bob. - Thank you.
Good Iuck.
I just happened to find meseIf a bit short, you see.
I got nothing for aII that week's work I done Iast week.
That's the position, that's what it is.
I went into a pub the other day, ordered a Guinness.
They gave it to me in a thick mug.
I sat down but I couIdn't drink it.
I can't drink Guinness out of a thick mug.
I onIy Iike it out of a thin gIass.
I had a few sips. But I couIdn't finish it.
If onIy the weather wouId break.
- Then I'd be abIe to get to Sidcup. - Sidcup?
The weather's so bIoody awfuI, how can I get to Sidcup in these shoes?
- Why do you want to go to Sidcup? - I got me papers there!
- Your what? - I got me papers there!
- What are they doing at Sidcup? - A man I know has got 'em.
I Ieft them with 'im, you see. They prove who I am.
I can't move without them papers.
They teII you who I am. I'm Iost without 'em.
- Why is that, then? - WeII, you see, what... what it is,
you see, I changed me name,... years ago.
I've been going around under... an assumed name.
It's not me reaI name.
What name have you been... going under?
Jenkins.
Bernard Jenkins. I got an insurance card here.
Er,... see, Iook.
Under the name of Jenkins. There, er, Bernard Jenkins.
It got four...four stamps on it.
But it's no use me going aIong with these.
I take that card aIong, I go in the nick. I got no rights.
(Sniffs)
Any time you want to get into your bed,... just get in.
Don't you worry about me.
Er,... weII, then, I think I wiII.
To teII you the truth, mister, I'm a bit, er,...
..a bit done in.
See you've got a bucket up there.
Leak.
Er...
- Where's the...? - What?
Oh, yes.
It's got a sink in here.
Here you are.
You don't share it, do you?
What?
You don't, er, share this toiIet... with them Blacks, do you?
They Iive next door.
They don't come in?
Because, I mean,... fair's fair.
WeII, I'II Ieave you to it, then.
(CIears his throat)
- (Again, Iouder) - Wha... What's this? What's this?
- What's this? - It's aII right, it's aII right.
Oh, yes!
- SIeep weII? - Yes, dead out.
I must've been dead out.
Were you dreaming or something?
Dreaming? What d'you mean?
You were making noises.
Now wait a minute.
Now... Now wait a minute.
What d'you mean? What sort of noises?
You were making groans. You were jabbering.
Jabbering? I don't jabber, man.
What wouId I be jabbering about?
You got hoId of the wrong bIoke, mate.
Maybe it was the bed.
- Nothing wrong with this bed. - It might be a bit unfamiIiar.
There's nothing unfamiIiar about me with beds. I sIept in beds.
I don't make noises just because I sIeep in a bed! I sIept in pIenty!
- Maybe it was them BIacks. - What?
Maybe it was them BIacks making noises, coming up through the waIIs.
- Hm. - Where you going, you going out?
- Yes. - Oh, wait a minute, then.
- What are you doing? - WeII, I better come with you.
Why?
Don't you want me to get out when you're out?
You don't have to go out.
- What, you mean I can stay 'ere? - Do as you Iike.
You don't have to go out because l'm going out.
I've got a coupIe of keys.
This door,... front door.
Thanks very much, the best o' Iuck.
I, erm,... I think l'll take a stroII down the road.
A IittIe... kind of a shop.
Man down there, he got a portabIe driII the other day.
I quite Iike the Iook of it.
- PortabIe driII, eh? - Yes.
What did you say your name was?
Bernard Jenkins, er, my assumed name.
No, your reaI one.
- Davies. Mac Davies. - WeIsh, are you?
- Hey? - You WeIsh?
WeII, I've been around a bit, you know. I've been about.
Where were you born?
- What d'you mean? - Where were you born?
I...
WeII, it's a bit hard, Iike, to set your mind back.
Going back a few years, you Iose a bit of track, Iike.
If... you see what I mean.
Erm,... what about this gas stove?
Do you... Do you think it's going to be Ietting out
any, er,... pff...fff...?
- What do you think? - It's not connected.
I might go down to WembIey Iater on in the day.
- Yes? - Er, yes, there's a caff down there.
I might be abIe to get fixed up. I know they was a bit short-handed.
They might be in need of a bit of, er,... staff.
Mm. WeII, I'II be seeing you, then.
(ChuckIes) Yes! Right!
(Door cIoses)
HoId it!
HoId it.
BIoody great piIe of papers.
(MetaIIic jingIing)
Screws.
I'II have to find out about that.
(ChuckIes)
Had a pair of shoes in here.
(Screams)
What's the game?
(CIears his throat)
- What's your name? - I don't know you.
- I don't know who you are! - Hey?
- Jenkins. - Jenkins?
Yeah.
Jen... kins.
- Did you sIeep here Iast night? - Yes.
- SIeep weII? - Yes.
I'm awfuIIy gIad. It's awfuIIy nice to meet you.
(Drip)
You know, you remind me of my uncIe's brother.
He was aIways on the move, that man, never without his passport.
He had an eye for the girIs.
Very much your buiId. Bit of an athIete, Iong-jump speciaIist.
Had a habit of demonstrating different run-ups in the drawing room
round about Christmas time.
Had a penchant for nuts. CouIdn't eat enough of 'em.
Peanuts, waInuts, braziI nuts, monkey nuts.
He wouIdn't touch a piece of fruitcake. It was a funny business.
Your spitting image, he was. Married a Chinaman, went to Jamaica.
- I hope you sIept weII Iast night. - Listen, I don't know who you are!
- What bed you sIeep in? Eh? - Now Iook 'ere...
- That one. - Not the other one?
(Whispers) No.
Choosy.
How d'you Iike my room?
- Your room? - Yes.
This ain't your room!
You've got a funny kind of resembIance
to a bIoke I once knew in Shoreditch.
WeII, actuaIIy, he Iived in AIdgate.
I was staying with a cousin in Camden Town.
His oId mum was Iiving at the AngeI. The buses passed right by the door.
She couId get a 38, 581 , 30, 38A,
take her down the Essex Road to DaIston Junction in next to no time.
WeII, of course, if she got a 30, he'd take her round Upper Street way,
via Highbury Corner, down by St PauI's Church.
Though she'd get to DaIston Junction just the same in the end.
I used to Ieave my bike in her garden on my way to work.
Yeah, that was a curious affair.
Dead spit of you, he was. Bit bigger round the nose, but nothing in it.
- SIeep here Iast night? - (Screams) Yes!
- How do you sIeep? What bed? - That.
Not the other? Choosy.
Choosy.
- What sort of a sIeep did you have? - AII right!
- You weren't uncomfortabIe? - AII right!
You a foreigner?
How d'you Iike my bed?
This is my bed.
You want to watch out you don't get a draught.
- Intending to settIe down here? - Give me my trousers!
- SettIing down for a Iong stay? - Give me me bIoody trousers!
- Why, where are you going? - Give me 'em. I'm going to Sidcup!
You remind me of a bIoke I bumped into once by GuiIdford bypass.
I was brought here. I was brought here!
- Brought here? Who brought you here? - Man who Iives here.
- Fibber. - I was brought here, Iast night.
I met him in...in a caff. I got the buIIet.
This bIoke saved me from a punch-up.
He brought me here, he brought me right here.
I'm afraid you're a born fibber, aren't you, eh?
You are speaking to the owner. This is my room in my house.
- It's his. He seen me aII right. - That's my bed.
- What about this one, then? - This is my mother's bed.
- WeII, she wasn't in it Iast night. - Now, don't get perky, son.
- Keep your hands off my oId mum. - I...I ain't. I...
Don't get out of your depth, friend. Don't take Iiberties with my mother.
- Let's have a bit of respect. - I got respect!
- You won't find anyone with more! - Why are you teIIing me fibs, then?
Listen! I ain't never seen you before, have I?
Never seen my mother before, either, I suppose?
I think I'm coming to the concIusion that you're an oId rogue.
- You're an oId scoundreI. - Now, wait...
- Listen, sonny, you stink. - You ain't got no...
You're stinking the pIace out. You're an oId robber.
You're an oId skate. You don't beIong in a nice pIace Iike this.
You're an oId barbarian, honest.
You got no business wandering around in an unfurnished fIat.
I couId get seven quid a week for this pIace, get a taker tomorrow.
350 a year excIusive, no argument.
WeII, if that sort of money's in your range, don't be afraid to say so.
The is van outside. I can run you to the poIice station in five minutes.
Have you in for trespassing, dayIight robbery, fiIching, thieving
and stinking the pIace out. What do you say?
UnIess, of course, you're interested in a straightforward purchase.
I'II have my brother decorate the pIace up for you first.
Yeah, I got a brother, a number-one decorator. He'II decorate it for you.
You can have this as your study.
This brother I mentioned, he's about to start decorating them other rooms.
WeII, he's just about to start.
What do you say? 800 for this room or 3,000 down for the whoIe storey?
- Who d'you bank with? - (Outside door cIoses)
Who do you bank with?
(Drip)
You stiII got that Ieak.
Yes.
It's coming from the roof.
- From the roof, eh? - Yes.
I'II have to tar it over.
You're going to tar it over?
Yes.
What?
The cracks.
You'II be tarring over the cracks in the roof?
Yes.
- D'you think that'II do it? - It'II do it for the time being.
What d'you do...
What do you do, er,... when that bucket's fuII?
Empty it.
I was teIIing my friend that you're about to decorate them other rooms.
Yes.
I've, erm,... I've got you a bag.
Eh?
Oh. Thanks!
Give it to you, did they?
- What's this, then? - Give us it, that's my bag!
- I've seen this bag before. - It's mine!
- Where'd you get it? - Scrub it!
It's mine. It's mine, teII 'im it's mine.
- This your bag, is it? - Give me it!
- Give it to him! - Give him what?
- The bIoody bag! - What bag?
Where are you going?
Don't push too hard. Watch your step, sonny.
You're knocking at the door when no-one's at home.
You thieving bastard! You thieving skate!
Here you are.
(Thud)
(Drip)
Did... Did you get down to WembIey?
I couIdn't make it.
I had a bit of bad Iuck with that portabIe driII.
When I got there, it had gone.
(Outside door cIoses)
Who's that feIIer?
He's my brother.
Is he?
He's a bit of a joker, in't he?
He's got a sense of humour.
Yes, I couId teII that the first time I set eyes on him.
Yes. He tends to see the funny side of things.
WeII, he's got a sense of humour, in't he?
Yes.
I'm supposed to be doing up the house for him.
There's Iots of possibiIities about this pIace.
You see...
Yes.
Once I get that shed up, I'II be abIe to give more thought to the house.
Perhaps I can... knock up one or two things for it.
I can work with my hands, you see.
It's one thing I can do.
I never knew I couId.
But I can. I can do aII sorts of things now with my hands.
When I get that shed up out there, I'II have a workshop, you see.
I could do a bit of woodwork. SimpIe woodwork to start.
(Birds twitter)
Anyway,... there's quite a bit to be done to this pIace.
(Dog barks)
Bit of a junk heap, this garden, eh? (Laughs)
Got to be cIeared.
(Dog keeps barking)
Got aII this, you see.
(ChuckIes)
What's this, a pond?
- Yes. - What you got? Fish?
No, there isn't anything in there.
(BIows)
(ChuckIes)
You couId be caretaker here, if you Iiked.
What?
You couId keep an eye on the pIace, if you Iiked.
You know, the, erm,... stairs,... Iandings.
Front steps. Keep an eye on it, poIish the beIIs.
The beIIs?
Yes, I'II, erm,... be fixing a few down by the front door.
Brass.
(Sniffs)
- Caretaker, eh? - Yes.
Yes, weII, now Iook here, I, erm...
I ain't never, erm,... done no caretaking before, you see.
AII I mean is I, erm...
I ain't never been a caretaker before.
How do you feeI about being one, then?
WeII, I reckon I, er,...
WeII, I'd 'ave to know, er, erm...
You know, er...
What sort of...?
Yes. Er, what sort... what sort of,... erm...
You know.
- W...WeII, I mean... - I mean, I'd... I'd 'ave to, erm...
- I'd have to... - Yes. I... I couId tell you.
Th...That's it. Er,... that's it. D'you see? D'you get my meaning?
- I couId teII you when the time... - See, that's what I'm getting at.
- It's more or Iess exactIy... - You see, what I mean to say, er...
Erm,... what I'm...
..getting at it, is, erm,...
I mean,...
What sort of... jobs?
WeII, there's, er, things Iike the stairs a... and the beIIs.
WeII, it'd... it'd be a matter, er, er, wouIdn't it?
It... It wouId be a matter of, er,...
- ..of a broom, isn't it? - Yes.
- Of course you'd need a few brushes. - You'd need, er,... impIements.
- You'd need a good few impIements. - Yes.
(CIears his throat)
You couId wear this, if you Iiked.
What?
Oh. That's nice, in't it?
- It'd keep the dust off you. - Yes, that'd keep the... dust off.
(Sniffs) WeII off.
Thanks very much, mister.
Hey, Iook,... I've been thinking.
- This ain't my bag. - No.
No, you see, my bag, it, er,... was another kind of bag aItogether.
I know what they've done. Er, what they've done, they kept my bag
and... they've given you another one aItogether.
No. What happened was... someone went off with your bag.
That's what I said.
WeII, anyway, I, er,... I managed to pick this one up somewhere eIse.
It's got a few pieces of cIothes in it. He Iet me have the Iot cheap.
Any shoes?
- What's this? - It's a smoking jacket.
- Smoking jacket? - Yes.
It ain't a bad piece of cIoth.
I'II see how it fits.
You ain't got a mirror in there, 'ave you?
No, I don't think I have.
WeII, it don't fit too bad.
How do you think it Iooks?
Looks aII right.
WeII, I won't say no to this, then.
Er, excuse me, guv'nor, have you, er... any...?
(Mutters) Cup o' tea.
Bastard.
Cup of tea yourseIf. Er, what about this bIoody snow, then?
HeIIo, what's this?
What's the matter with this damn Iight?
Oh, don't teII me the damn Iight's gone now.
What'II I do now? The damn Iight's gone.
Give me a Iight.
Wait a minute.
- Oh, damn, where is it? - (CIattering)
Now where's the box? Where's the bIoody box?
(AngriIy) Why, what's this? Who's this?
- Where's me box? It was down 'ere. - (Matches rattIe)
Who's this? Who's this moving it?
Who's this got me box?
- (Matches rattIe) - Who's in 'ere?
I've got a knife 'ere! I'm ready for you!
- (Vacuum cIeaner starts) - Aah!
Come on, then! Who are ya?
Aah! Go away!
I was just doing some spring-cIeaning.
There used to be, erm, a waII pIug for this cIeaner.
But it doesn't work, so I had to fit it in the Iight socket.
How do you think the pIace is Iooking, eh?
I gave it a good going over.
WeII, after aII, I am responsibIe for the upkeep of the premises, aren't I?
What you waving that about for?
- You come near me! - Eh?
WeII, now, I'm sorry if I gave you a start, but, er...
WeII, I had you in mind, too, you know. I mean, my brother's guest.
As a matter of fact, I was, er, going to suggest that we Iower your rent,
to make it just a nominaI sum. Just nominaI, that's aII.
If you're gonna be spiky, I'II have to reconsider the whoIe proposition.
I keep meseIf... to meseIf, mate.
But if anyone starts with me, they know what they got coming.
- Yes, I can beIieve that. - You do? I've been aII over, see.
Do you understand my meaning? I don't mind a joke now and again
but anyone'II teII you that no-one starts anything with me.
- Oh, I get what you mean, yes. - I can be pushed so far...
- But no further. - That's it.
No, you know what it was? We just got off on the wrong foot, that's aII.
- Aye, we did. - WouId you Iike a sandwich?
Don't you puII anything!
Hey? I can't heIp being interested in any friend of my brother's.
I mean, you're my brother's friend, aren't you?
WeII, I wouIdn't put it as far as that.
Oh, don't you find him friendIy, then?
WeII, I...I wouIdn't say we...we was aII that, er, friends.
He never done me no 'arm but I wouIdn't say he's a particuIar...
- Wh...What's in that sandwich, then? - Cheese.
- That'II do me. - Take one.
Thank you, mister.
WeII, now...
I'm sorry to hear that my brother isn't very friendIy.
Oh, he's friendIy, he's friendIy. I never said he wasn't.
- SaIt? - No thanks.
I just can't exactIy... make him out.
- I forgot the pepper. - I just can't get the 'ang of 'im.
I had a bit of beetroot somewhere, I must have misIaid it.
Can I ask your advice?
WeII, I mean, you're a man of the worId, aren't you?
Can I ask your... advice about something?
You go right ahead.
Now, what it is, you see, I'm very worried about my brother.
- Your brother? - Yes. You see, his troubIe is...
- Yeah? - WeII, it's not a nice thing to say.
Go on, now, you say it.
He doesn't Iike work.
- Get on. - No, he just doesn't Iike work.
- That's his troubIe. - Is that a fact?
It's a terribIe thing to have to say about your own brother.
- But he's just shy of it, you see. - I know that sort.
- You know the type? - I've met 'em.
Yes. I don't know, he just...
- He don't Iike work. - Mm.
He's supposed to be doing a IittIe job for me.
I keep him here, you know, to do a IittIe job. But I don't know.
I'm coming to the concIusion he's a very sIow worker.
(ChuckIes)
What wouId your... advice be?
WeII...
He's a funny bIoke, your brother.
What?
I was just saying, he's a... a bit of a funny bIoke, your brother.
- Funny? Why? - WeII, he's funny.
What's funny about him?
- Not Iiking work. - What's funny about that?
Nothing.
l don't caII that funny.
- Nor me. - Don't start getting hypercriticaI.
- No, I wasn't. - Don't get too gIib.
- AII I meant... - Cut it!
Look, I've got a IittIe proposition to make to you.
I'm thinking of taking over the running of this pIace, you see.
I think it couId be run a Iot more efficientIy. I've got ideas, pIans.
Now, how wouId you Iike to stay on here, as caretaker?
What?
I couId reIy on a man Iike you around the pIace, to keep an eye on things.
WeII, now Iook 'ere. I... I never, erm...
I never, er, done no caretaking before, you see.
- You've been in the services. - The what?
You've been in the services. You can teII by your stance.
Oh...Oh, yes. I spent haIf me Iife there, man.
- Overseas, Iike. Serving, I was. - In the CoIonies, weren't you?
I was over there. I was one of the first over there.
WeII, that's what I mean. You're just the man I've been Iooking for.
- What for? - Caretaker.
Er, yes, weII, now... now Iook 'ere.
Er, Iisten, er...
Who's the IandIord 'ere? Er,... 'im or you?
Me. I am. I got deeds to prove it.
Oh, weII, in that case I don't mind, er,...
doing a bit of caretaking for you.
I... I don't mind, er, Iooking after the pIace for you.
We'd come to a smaII financiaI agreement, mutuaIIy beneficiaI.
I'II Ieave you to reckon aII that out, Iike.
Thanks.
Pari passu and pro rata.
Oh, yes.
Oh, there's just one thing. Have you got any references?
- Eh? - Just to satisfy my soIicitor.
I got pIenty of references. AII I got to do is get down to Sidcup tomorrow.
I know it Iike the back of me 'and. I got aII my references down there.
Good.
Listen,... you can't pick me up a good pair o' shoes, can you?
I got a bad need for a good pair o' shoes.
Is there any chance of you being abIe to p... pick me up a pair?
(Door cIoses)
(Sighs)
- Said you wanted me to get you up. - What for?
You said you were thinking of going down to Sidcup.
Oh, aye, that'd be a good thing if I couId get down there.
It doesn't Iook much of a day.
Oh, that's shot it then, in't it?
I didn't have a very good night again.
I sIept terribIe.
- You were making... - TerribIe.
Had a bit o' rain in the night, didn't it?
Just a bit.
Yeah, I thought so.
Come in on me 'ead. The draught's bIowing right in on me 'ead, anyway.
Can't you shut that bIoody window?
- You could. - WeII, what about it, then?
The rain's coming right in on me 'ead.
Got to have a bit of air.
Listen, don't taIk to me about air, boy.
I've Iived aII me Iife in the air!
AII I'm trying to say, there's too much air
coming in through that window when I'm asIeep.
It's very stuffy in here without the window open.
Yes, but Iisten, you don't understand what I'm teIIing you.
The bIoody rain, man, come right in on me 'ead!
That's done me trip to Sidcup.
What about cIosing that window now?
It'II be coming in 'ere.
Hey.
CIose it for the time being.
You haven't found those shoes you was gonna Iook out for me, 'ave you?
No, I'II see if I can pick some up for you today.
I mean, I can't go out in these.
Can't even go get meseIf a cup of tea.
There's a café just aIong the road.
There may be, mate, there may be.
I used to go there quite a bit.
Years ago, now. But I stopped.
I used to Iike that pIace. I spent quite a bit of time in there.
I thought they understood what I said.
I mean, I used to taIk to them.
Same with the factory.
I used to taIk about things
and these men used to Iisten whenever I had anything to say.
It was aII right.
TroubIe was,...
..used to have... kind of haIIucinations.
But they weren't haIIucinations. They...
I used to get the feeIing I couId see things... very cIearIy.
Everything was so cIear.
Everything used to...
Everything used to get very quiet.
Everything got very quiet.
AII this... quiet and this cIear sight, it was...
But maybe... I was wrong.
Anyway...
Someone must've... said something.
I don't know anything about it.
Some kind of lie must've got around and this lie went round.
I thought peopIe started being funny in that café.
Factory.
CouIdn't understand it.
Then one day...
..they took me to a hospitaI... right outside London.
They got me there.
I didn't want to go.
Tried to get out quite a few times.
It wasn't very easy.
They asked me questions in there.
They got me in and they asked me aII sorts of questions.
WeII, I toId them when they wanted to know what my thoughts were.
Mm.
Then one day,... this man,...
..the head doctor, I suppose it was, he... he caIIed me in.
He said...
He toId me I had something.
He said... they'd concIuded their examination, that's what he said.
And he showed me a piIe of papers and he said that I'd got something.
Some compIaint.
He said...
Just said that, you see.
''You've got this thing that's your compIaint
and we've decided,'' he said,
''that in your interests there's onIy one course we can take.''
He said ''We're gonna do something to your brain.''
He said ''If we don't, you'II be in here for the rest of your Iife.''
''But if we do,... you stand a chance,'' he said,
''you can go out and Iive Iike the others.''
''What d'you want to do to my brain?'' I said to him.
But he just repeated what he'd said.
WeII, I wasn't a fooI.
I knew I was a minor.
I knew they couIdn't do anything to me without getting permission.
I knew they had to get permission from my mother.
So I wrote to her and I toId her what they were trying to do.
But she signed the form, you see, giving them permission.
I know that because he showed me her signature when I brought it up.
WeII, about a week Iater,...
..they started to come round and do this thing to the brain.
We were aII supposed to have it done, in this ward.
They came round and did it one at a time, one a night.
They used to come round with these...
I don't know what they were.
They Iooked Iike big pincers with wires on.
The wires were attached to a IittIe machine. It was eIectric.
They used to hoId the man down.
And then this chief... this chief doctor,...
..he wouId fit the pincers... something Iike earphones.
He used to fit them either side of the man's skuII and keep them there.
There was a man hoIding the machine, you see.
He'd turn it on and then this chief,...
..he'd press these pincers against the man's skuII and keep them there.
Then they'd take 'em off, cover the man up...
and they wouIdn't touch him again untiI Iater on.
WeII, they were coming round to me.
The night they came, I got up off my bed and I stood against the waII.
They toId me to get back on the bed.
I knew they had to get me back on the bed.
If they did it whiIe I was standing up, they might break my spine.
So I stood up.
Then one or two of them came for me.
WeII, I was younger then. Much stronger then than I am now.
I was quite strong then. I Iaid one of them out.
I got another one round the throat
and then suddenIy this chief, he had these pincers on my skuII.
And I knew they weren't supposed to do it whiIe I was standing up and...
..that's why I...
Anyway,... he did it.
Though I did get out, I got out of the pIace.
But I couIdn't waIk very weII.
I don't think my spine was damaged.
No, that was perfectIy aII right.
TroubIe was,... I couIdn't hear what peopIe were saying.
I couIdn't Iook to the right or the Ieft, I had to Iook straight ahead.
If I turned my head round, I couIdn't keep upright.
And I had these headaches.
I used to sit in my room.
It was when I Iived with my mother. And my brother.
He was younger than me.
I Iaid everything out in order in my room, aII the things that were mine.
But I didn't die.
Anyway,...
I feeI much better now.
But I don't taIk to peopIe now.
I steer cIear of pIaces Iike that café.
I don't go into them now.
I don't taIk to anyone...
..Iike that.
I've often thought of going back
and trying to find the man who did that to me.
But I want to do something first.
I want to buiId that shed out in the garden.
Jump in!
Ha!
- You turned me over, mate. - Come on! (Laughs)
Er...
Sitting comfortabIy, are you?
- Where are you going? - I'm going to Sidcup.
No, sorry, can't do it. The road'II be up on the A222.
That'II mean doubIing back on the B2210.
It's aII one-way down there, you see.
And we haven't got enough headroom for the humpback bridge.
Come and have a drink at my pIace sometime. Listen to some Tchaikovsky.
Ta-ta. See ya.
(Squeaking)
I mean,... (Sniffs)... you and me, we couId get this pIace going!
Yes, you're quite right.
Look what I couId do with this pIace.
I couId turn this pIace into a penthouse.
Or, for instance, this room.
This room you couId have as your kitchen.
Right size,...
..nice window, sun comes in.
I'd have teaI-bIue, copper and parchment IinoIeum squares.
I'd have them coIours re-echoed in the waIIs.
I'd offset the kitchen units with charcoaI-grey worktops.
PIenty of space for cupboards for the crockery.
I'd have a... a smaII waII cupboard, a Iarge waII cupboard...
..and a corner waII cupboard with revoIving sheIves.
You wouIdn't be short of cupboards.
And a dining room you couId have across the Ianding, see.
Venetian bIinds on the window. Yeah, Venetian bIinds.
Cork fIoor, cork tiles.
You couId have an off-white piIe Iinen rug.
A tabIe in afrormosia teak veneer.
Sideboard with matt-bIack drawers.
Curved chairs with cushioned seats.
Armchairs in oatmeaI tweed.
Beech-frame settee with a woven sea-grass seat.
White-topped, heat-resistant coffee tabIe.
White tiIe surround.
Oh, yes.
And a bedroom. Now, what's a bedroom, eh? It's a retreat.
PIace to go for rest and peace.
Now, you want quiet decoration.
Lighting functionaI.
Furniture, mahogany and rosewood.
Deep azure-bIue carpet.
UngIazed bIue-and-white curtains.
Bedspread with a pattern of smaII bIue roses on a white ground.
And a dressing tabIe with a Iift-up top containing a pIastic tray.
TabIe Iamp, white raffia.
It wouIdn't be a fIat, it wouId be a paIace.
I'II say it wouId, man!
- A paIace. - Who wouId Iive 'ere?
l wouId.
My brother and me.
WeII, wh... what about me?
AII his stuff in here.
It's no good to anybody, it's a Iot of oId iron, it's cIobber.
You couIdn't make a home out of this! There's no way you couId arrange it.
It's junk! He couIdn't seII it, he wouIdn't get tuppence for it.
It's junk! But he don't seem to be interested
in what I got in mind, that's his troubIe.
Why don't you have a chat with him and see if he's interested?
- Me? - Yeah, you're a friend of his.
- He ain't no friend o' mine. - You Iive in the same room as him.
He ain't no friend o' mine. No, what you wanna do is speak to 'im, see.
You want to teII 'im, erm, er, teII 'im that we got ideas for this pIace.
Er, we couId get it started!.
I'd d... decorate it out... for you and...
I'd... I'd give you a hand in... doing it... (ChuckIes)... between us.
No, you're the one as wants to talk to 'im. You're his brother.
Yes. Maybe I wiII.
(Outside door cIoses)
Where are you going? This is 'im!
(Footsteps on the stairs)
(FaintIy) Pair of shoes. Pick them up. Try them.
- Where's the Iaces? - No Iaces.
I can't wear 'em without Iaces, can I?
I just got the shoes.
WeII, now, Iook, this just about puts the tin Iid on it, don't it?
The onIy way to keep shoes on right, if... if you haven't got no Iaces,
is to tighten the foot, see, waIk about with a tight foot, see?
WeII, that's no good to the foot. That puts a bad... strain on it.
I might have some somewhere.
You see what I'm getting at?
Yes. Here's some.
These is brown.
It's aII I've got.
The shoes... is bIack.
WeII, they can do untiI I get hoId of another pair.
(Snoring)
(Furniture scrapes on fIoor)
(Davies honks)
(Davies jabbers)
(Laughs)
(Davies speaks gibberish)
- Stop it, wiII you? I can't sIeep. - What?
What? Wh...
- What's going on? - You're making noises.
I'm an oId man. What do you expect me to do, stop breathing?
What do you expect me to do?
I teII you, mate, I'm not surprised they took you in.
Waking an oId man in the middIe of the night, you must be off your nut.
What do you want me to do, stop breathing?
I've had just about enough of you mucking me about!
Why'd you invite me in 'ere if you was gonna treat me Iike this?
I know enough. They 'ad you inside one of them pIaces before,
they couId 'ave you inside again!
They can put them pincers on your 'ead again, man.
They can 'ave 'em on again, any time. AII they need to do is get the word.
Carry you in there, boy. They'd come 'ere, pick you up and carry you in!
They'd get ya fixed.
They'd put them pincers on your 'ead again, man, they'd keep you fixed!
They'd take one Iook at aII this... junk I got to sIeep with!
They'd know you was a creamer!
Ah, nobody messes me about for Iong.
You think l'm gonna do aII your dirty work.
Uh?
Think I'm gonna do aII your dirty work?
AII up and down them stairs?
Just so's I can sIeep in this Iousy, fiIthy hoIe every night?
Not me, boy.
Not for you, boy.
You don't know what you're doing, 'aIf the time.
You're up the creek!
You're 'aIf off.
Whoever saw you sIip me a few bob?
Treated me Iike a bIoody animaI!
I never been inside a nuthouse!
Don't come nothing with me, boy.
I got this 'ere.
I used it.
I used it!
Don't come it with me.
I think... it's about time you found somewhere eIse.
I don't think we're hitting it off.
Find somewhere eIse?
Me? Not me, man, you!
You'd better find somewhere eIse.
I live here. You don't.
Don't I? WeII, I Iive 'ere, I've been offered a job 'ere.
Yes. But I don't think you're reaIIy suitabIe.
Not... suitabIe, eh?
WeII, Iet me teII you, there's someone 'ere thinks I am suitabIe.
Get it? Your brother.
He's toId me, see, he's toId me the job is mine.
I'm gonna be 'is... caretaker.
Look...
If I give you a few bob,... you can get down to Sidcup.
You buiId your shed first.
A few bob. When I can pick up a steady wage 'ere!
You buiId your stinking shed first, that's what.
Don't come too near!
That's not a stinking shed.
You've no reason to caII that shed stinking.
You stink.
- What? - You've been stinking the pIace out.
- Christ! You say that to me? - That's one reason I can't sIeep.
You caII me that! You caII me stinking!
You'd better go.
I'II stink you!
I'II... stink you.
Get your stuff.
(Sneers)
You're... You're not right.
Hey, Ieave that aIone! That's mine!
You wait. I've been offered a job 'ere.
You wait. Your brother,... he'II sort you out.
If you caII me that...
You... caII me... that.
Nobody... ain't... ain't never caIIed me that.
You ain't heard the Iast of this.
You'II be sorry you caIIed me that.
Now I know who I can trust.
(Footsteps retreat down stairs)
(Traffic)
Stink! That's what he said to me!
- (Tuts) - That's what he said to me.
- You don't stink. - No, sir.
If you stank, I'd be the first one to teII you.
I...I toId 'im, I... I said to 'im...
I toId 'im you'd be coming aIong to sort 'im out.
I don't know what he's started, saying... s... saying that to me.
''You ain't heard the Iast of this, man,'' I said.
I said to 'im, I... I said to 'im ''Your brother'II be aIong!''
''He's got sense. Not Iike you. ''
- What d'you mean? - Eh?
Are you saying my brother hasn't got any sense?
What? WeII, what I mean, I...
I take orders... from you. Do my, er,... caretaking for you.
You Iook upon me as a... as a...
You don't treat me Iike a Iump o' dirt!
- WeII... - Mind if I finish my tea first?
- Oh, he's not 'ere. - No.
Maybe he's down there.
Where can the bastard be?
- 'Ey, Iook at that! - (Tuts)
- Look here, I've been thinking. - What?
As things stand, I don't mind having a go at doing up the pIace.
That's what I wanted to 'ear!
- You'd better be as good as you say. - What do you mean?
You say you're an interior decorator. You'd better be a good one.
- A what? - ''A what?'' A decorator.
An interior decorator.
W... What d'you mean? I... I never done that. Never touched that.
- You never what? - No, not me, man.
I'm not, er,... interior decorator. I... I been too busy.
Too many, er... other things to do, you see.
I thought you said you were one.
Ah, now, wait a minute, wait a minute. You got the wrong man.
Oh, how could I have the wrong man?
You're the onIy man I've spoken to about my dreams, my deepest wishes.
You're the onIy man I've toId.
I onIy toId you because I understood you to be a first-cIass,
professionaI, experienced interior and exterior decorator.
- Now, Iook 'ere... - You wouIdn't know how to fit
teaI-bIue, copper and parchment IinoIeum squares?
And have them coIours re-echoed in the waIIs?
Er, Iook 'ere...
You wouIdn't you know how to decorate a tabIe in afrormosia teak veneer,
armchairs in oatmeaI tweed
and a beech-frame settee with a sea-grass seat?
- I never said that! - I was under a faIse impression.
- I never said it! - You're a bIoody impostor, mate.
- Don't start caIIing me names! - What is your name?
- Now don't start that. - No, your reaI name.
- Me reaI name's Davies. - What's the name you go under?
- Jenkins. - Two names? What about the rest?
Why'd you give me aII this dirt about you being an interior decorator?
I never toId you nothing! It was your brother 'as toId you.
He'd teII you anything, out of spite. He's nutty.
He's haIfway gone, he'd teII you anything!
It was 'im 'as toId you.
What did you caII my brother?
- When? - He's what?
- Now get this straight. - Nutty?
Who's nutty?
Did you caII my brother nutty, eh?
My brother.
WeII, now, that's...
That's a bit of an impertinent thing to say, isn't it?
But he says so 'imseIf!
- (Whimpers) - What a strange man you are.
You're reaIIy strange.
Ever since you come into this house there's been nothing but troubIe.
Honest. I can take nothing you say at face vaIue.
Every word you speak is open to any number of different interpretations.
Most of what you say is Iies.
You're vioIent, you're erratic, you're just compIeteIy unpredictabIe.
In fact, when it comes down to it, you're nothing but a wiId animaI.
You're an oId barbarian!
To put the tin Iid on it, you stink from arsehoIe to breakfast time.
WeII, Iook at it!
You come 'ere, recommending yourseIf as an interior decorator,
whereupon I take you on. And what happens, eh?
You make a Iong speech about aII them references you got at Sidcup.
And what happens? I haven't noticed you going to Sidcup to obtain them.
It's aII most regrettabIe, but it reaIIy does Iook
as though I'm compeIIed to pay you off for your caretaking work.
There's 'aIf a doIIar.
AII right, then. You do that.
You do it.
If that's what you want.
That's what I want!
Anyone'd think that this house was aII I got to worry about.
I got pIenty of other things I can worry about. I got other interests!
I've got my business to buiId up, haven't I?
I've got a thing about expanding in aII directions. I don't stand stiII.
I'm moving about aII the time! I'm on the move aII the time!
I got to think about the future!
I don't worry about this house! My brother can worry about it.
He can decorate it up, he can do what he Iikes with it, I'm not bothered.
I thought I was doing 'im a favour, Ietting 'im Iive 'ere.
He's got his own ideas, Iet 'im 'ave 'em.
I'm going to chuck it in.
Look, erm...
(Door cIoses)
I,... er,...
..just, er, come back for...
..for me pipe.
Oh, yes?
Yes! I... I go out and haIfway down
I suddenIy reaIised that I... I hadn't got me pipe
so I... come back to get it.
So I thought I'd, er,... nip back for it, Iike.
Listen, er,... you didn't mean that,...
..did you, a... about me stinking?
Did you?
Did you?
L... Look, I been thinking. Why I made aII them noises,
er, it was because of the draught.
Er, see, the... the... the draught was on me as I Iay sIeeping.
It made me make them noises without me knowing it. So, er...
What I've been thinking, er, what I mean to say,
if I was to 'ave your bed,... ..you 'ave my bed...
There's not aII that difference between 'em,
they're the... the same sort of bed.
WeII, you sIeep wherever bed you're in
and I'd be out of the draught, you see, that'd be aII right.
WeII, you don't mind a bit of wind, you Iike a bit of air.
So I reckon that'd be the best way out of it, we swap beds,
then we couId get on with what we were saying.
I'd Iook after the pIace for you, er,... keep an eye on it for you.
I'd... caretake for you.
For you, Iike, not for the, er,...
not for the other, not... not for your brother.
(Spits)
For you.
I'd be your man. You say the word.
No, I like sIeeping in this bed.
But you don't understand my meaning!
Anyway, that one's my brother's bed.
But your brother's gone! (ChuckIes) He's gone!
No, I couIdn't change beds.
But you don't understand my meaning!
Anyway, I'm going to be busy.
I've got that shed to get up.
If I don't get it up now, it'II never go up.
TiII it's up, I can't get started.
WeII, I'd give you 'and to put up your shed! That's what I'II do!
You see what I'm saying?
I can get it up myseIf.
But Iisten, I'm 'ere!
I'm with ya!
I'II do it for ya!
Er, we'II do it together.
(Opens window)
Christ, we'II change beds!
Look 'ere, Iisten, man, I don't mind. (ChuckIes)
I... If you don't wanna swap beds, aII right, we'II keep it as it is.
I... I'II stay in the same bed.
If I couId get, maybe, er, a bit of stronger sacking, Iike,
to go o... over that window. Er, keep out the draught.
That'II do it. WeII, what do you say? We'II keep it as it is.
No.
Why not?
You make too much noise.
Look 'ere! Listen!
Listen 'ere!
I mean...
What am I going to do?
(Laughs) Eh?
What'II I do?
Where am I going to go?
AII right. If you want me to go, I'II go.
You say the word.
Just say the word.
(Murmurs)
Listen!
I... If I couId get down to, er...
I... If I couId, er, get 'oId of me papers,
wouId, er,... wouId you, er, w...
WouId you Iet me...
If I got down...
..and...
..got me...
CQ
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Caddyshack
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Candyman 2 Farewell to the Flesh
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Children of Heaven The
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Childs Play 1988
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Chineese Ghost Story A 3
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Christiane F
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Christmas Carol A
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Christmas Vacation (National Lampoons)
Chronicles of Riddick The - Dark Fury
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Cialo
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City Of God 2003 CD1
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City Of The Living Dead 1980
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City on fire 1987
Civil Brand 2003
Clan Des Siciliens Le - Henri Verneuil 1969
Clash of the Titans CD1
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Class Trip 1998
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Clearing The
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Cleopatra 1963 CD1
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Cliffhanger (Collectors Edition)
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Cloaca
Clockers CD1
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Clockstoppers
Clockwork Orange A
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
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Closet The
Clownhouse
Club Dread
Clue
Clueless
Coast Guard 2002 CD1
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Cobra Verde CD1
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Coca-Cola Kid The 1985
Cock - A Broken Leghorn (1959)
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Cockleshell Heroes The
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Cold Comfort Farm 1995
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Cold Mountain CD1
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Collateral 2004
Collateral Damage
Collector The
Colors
Colour Of The Truth
Coma (1978)
Comandante (Oliver Stone 2003)
Come And See CD1
Come And See CD2
Commitments The
Como Agua Para Chocolate
Company Man
Company Of Wolves The CD1
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Company The CD1
Company The CD2
Con Air
Conan The Barbabian (uncut)
Conan the Barbarian
Conan the Destroyer
Confessions of Sorority Girls
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Connie and Carla
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Conspiracy Theory 1997
Control 2004
Conversation The CD1
Conversation The CD2
Cook The Thief His Wife And Her Lover The 1989
Cookies Fortune 1999
Cookout The
Cool Hand Luke 1967
Cool World
Cooler The
Cooley High
Cop Land
Corbeau Le
Corky Romano
Couch Trip The 1988
Counterfeit Traitor The 1962 CD1
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Countess Dracula (1970)
Country of my Skull
Cousin Bette
Cousins
Cover Girl (Charles Vidor+1944)
Cowboy (Delmer Daves 1958)
Coyote - Dont Give Up the Sheep (1953)
Coyote - Fast and Furry-ous (1949)
Coyote Ugly
Craddle 2 The Grave
Cranes Are Flying The (1957)
Crash
Cravan vs Cravan
Crawlspace
Crazy Beautiful
Crazy People 1990
Crazy in Alabama
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Crew The
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Crime Scene Investigation 3x01 - Revenge Is Best Served Cold
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Crime Scene Investigation 3x06 - The Execution Of Catherine Willows
Crime Scene Investigation 3x07 - Fight Night
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Crime of Padre Amaro The
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Criminal Lovers (1999)
Crimson Pirate The
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Critters 2 The Main Course 1988
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Crossroads
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Crow The
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Cruel Intentions 3
Crumb (1994)
Cuba
Cube2 Hypercube 2002
Cube Zero
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Cut Runs Deep The 1998
Cutthroat Island (1995)