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Corky Romano

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MAN: Gentlemen,|here's what we're up against.
Romano, Francis A.|Also known as "Pops. "
Alleged leader|of the Romano crime family...
with a network|of racketeering...
prostitution,|and underground casinos...
polluting the tri-state area.
This is Paulie Romano,|Pops' oldest son.
He's popular with the ladies|and good with a knife.
Though Paulie seems to have|those around him fooled...
sources indicate he is|functionally illiterate...
and has|an inferiority complex...
leading to unexpected|outbursts of violence.
Peter Romano,|Pops' youngest son...
and the alleged muscle|of the family.
Spent time upstate|after a barroom incident.
Though he hides it well,|word is he's got...
deeply repressed|homosexual tendencies...
also leading to unexpected|outbursts of violence.
Leo Corrigan,|Pops' right hand man.
He's our informant still|inside the family circle.
With the information|we've received from Leo...
we've finally got Pops Romano|right where we want him.
[People chattering]
[Car honks horn]
REPORTER:|Mr. Romano! Mr. Romano!
[Reporters asking questions]
LA WYER: OK, OK, OK.|Hold it, hold it.
REPORTER: What's your response|to the charges against you?
What we have here|is a modern-day witch hunt.
The only thing|my client is guilty of...
is having a vowel|at the end of his name.
REPORTER:|Pops, what do you think...
about spending the rest|of your life in prison?
Pops?
[Sound of heart beating faster]
[Reporters inaudible,|heartbeat stops]
-Pops!.|-Pops!.
-Help!.|-Get an ambulance!.
-Pops, get up!.|-Call an ambulance!.
POPS: Stop that!
Stop it!
Get out of here. Stop it!
LEO: Hey, what's all this|lying around crap?
Get out of bed, you old faker.
Bet you got scotch|in this l.V., huh?
Ah, Leo, I'm gettin' old.
I can't even remember|doing half of this shit...
they're trying to pin on me.
-Eh...|-Pop, the trial's in a week.
I mean, they claim|they got an airtight case--
names, dates, numbers--info|on the whole organization.
Well, the only way|they could get that...
is if they had an informant.
No. They must've sent|some fed in undercover.
Undercover? God damn it.
POPS: Undercover.
All right.|They put somebody undercover.
We'll put somebody|undercover...
to destroy that evidence.
Wait, we can't do that.|Who the hell we going to send?
They got pictures and files|on us...
and everybody we deal with.
They can't possibly|know everybody.
[Snaps fingers]|I got someone.
-Can we trust him?|-He's family.
Whoa, whoa, Leo,|you're not talking about Corky.
Corky is dead for me.
Pops, you should've|smothered him in his crib.
Face the facts, guys.|There is no one else.
Right now, he's our best bet.
[Sighs]
The kid's got to have at least|one family gene in him.
A-HA SINGING: Today's|another day to find you
Shyin' away
I'll be comin'|for your love, OK?
Take on me...
-[Tires squeal]|-Watch it, asshole!
Morning, Hank!
A-HA:|Take me on, take on me
[Honks horn]
A-HA: I'll be gone
In a day or two
So, needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But I'll be stumblin' away
[Music stops]
-[Sighs]|-[Telephone rings]
Poodles and Pussies.
[Dogs barking]
-Corky.|-Hey, Dr. Kipper, how are you?
Corky, things are a little|slow around here today.
I'm wondering,|could you take over for me?
I have a very important|appointment with...
uh, it's a dentist.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Uh-oh.|Someone's got the trots.
Corky, are you a mind reader?
No. I just saw some business|in the parking lot...
and it looked fresh.
Judging by consistency|and pigmentation...
I could tell it came|from a cat, probably calico.
Hello, Mr. Langford,|how are you?
High five, Oscar.|High five, high five.
Oh, let me guess--arthritis?
How did you know?
I saw him shifting his weight|off his paw, but don't worry.
We'll have him up|and sniffing butts in no time.
CORKY: My God, Connie,|your hair looks beautiful.
Ho ho! I accidentally|threw it in the wash...
that had a red shirt in it.
-Ha ha ha!|-I see you brought Pierre.
-Bonjour, Pierre.|-[Squawks] Bonjour.
Ohh.
He's our only reason|for living.
CORKY. I understand.|He's one of the good ones.
I am here with my baby,|Jesus, for his checkup.
[Jesus growling]
Oh, yeah.
[Growling]
[Grunts]
[Jesus yowls]
CORKY:|Well, Mrs. Hernandez...
we'll have to put him|on a little macrobiotic diet...
of seaweed and barley.
Plus, you'll have|to administer vitamins...
six times a day--rectally.
-[Jesus meows]|-Oh.
Kill my baby.
Oh, no, no, no.|You don't have to.
Please. He's lived long enough.
I just can't kill things,|though.
I just can't.|I could find him a home.
No. Kill him!
-Oh, my little baby.|-[Jesus growls]
HERNANDEZ:|Oh, my baby, my baby.
[Baby-talking]
You know, when I lose a pet...
I like to pour myself|a little sleepytime tea.
Do it!
OK.
[Growling]
[Sighs] Oh, eee.
-[Yowls]|-Oh, I'm--
-I'm sorry.|-[Hisses, growls]
Let me just get--|just wipe off the...
Wipe off with paper towels.
Oh! Uh...
-Sorry. Aah! Ow! That's hot!|-[Yowls]
-[Mutters]|-[Pierre squawks]
I'm sorry. I'm--
All right.|That's a good bird.
-[Squawks]|-[Hisses]
OK.
OK, here we go.
There you go.|Here's your mom.
Here you go.|Florence, a little help!
[Snoring]
-[Squawks]|-[Growling]
OK. There you go.
Right up there.|There you go.
[Pants]
[Pierre squawking]
Pierre!
[Squawking]
Baby Jesus! Pierre!
-[Squawks]|-Pierre!
Oh.
[Unzips pants]|Oh.
What are you doing|under there?
Come on, get out of there.|Come on, come on.
Let go--Uhh!
Ahh. [Baby talks]
-[Pierre squawks]|-Pierre.
Let go, baby Jesus.|Let go. Let go. Let go.
Come on. Let go!|Let go, baby Jesus. Let go.
-[Telephone rings]|-Let go, baby Jesus. Let go.
-Poodles and Pussies.|-Let go, baby Jesus.
Corky, you have a phone call.
Come on.|I'm a little busy right now.
-It's your brother.|-Come on.
Hug? Come on.
Come on. Come on.|Come on, come on, come on.
How's dad doing?
Not good, and he's waiting|for you upstairs.
OK.
Hey, Paulie. How are ya?
You look fit.
What the hell|is that supposed to mean?
CORKY: Nothing.|We're going to start over, OK?
-It's nice to see you, buddy.|-[Farts]
Well...that was nice.
-Corky.|-Papa.
Hi, papa.|I brought you something.
[Opens suitcase]
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell.
This is the very same copy...
that you and mom used|to read to me when I was sick.
CORKY: What is it, papa?|You want to say something?
You're kneeling|on my air tube, asshole.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I got it. l--I'm so sorry.
I got it now. I got--
[Air hissing]
I got it.|This thing's slippery.
Heh heh !
Ahh. Ay yi yi.
Come on, Pops,|this is ridiculous.
Look at him. He should be|wearing a helmet.
POPS: Corky, come here.
I'm not going to lie|to you anymore.
I'm not a landscaper.
I don't know|what you're talking about.
Get your head out of the sand,|shit for brains.
How many landscapers|you know...
get paid in briefcases|full of cash, huh?
Oh, you--you do do|some landscaping though, right?
I dabble in|money laundering, gambling...
and the occasional landscaping.
POPS: Now, look, son...
I know you're not comfortable|with the family business...
but we don't have much time.
I want you to go undercover|as an FBI agent...
and destroy the evidence|against me.
[Laughs] Oh.
But I have animals|that depend on me.
We'll send someone|to fill in for you.
Do you really think I'm|the most qualified? I mean...
The consensus is that|you're the least qualified...
but you're family.
Could l, uh...
could l--could l--|could I think about this?
What's to think about, Corky?
Can't you see Pops|swallowed his pride...
just asking you to do this?
When's the last time you lifted|a finger for this family?
It's just all--You know,|it's all happening so fast.
Wait, wait.|Let me talk to him.
Look, kid, think of this|as your chance to make amends.
You know|you broke your pop's heart...
when you turned your back|on the family business.
I didn't turn my back. They|kicked me out after mom died.
lrregardless, what matters now|is your family needs you.
What do you say, kid?
Paulie, you get another DUl|you need fixed?
No, I need you to send|something to the FBl.
Can you handle that?
DEXTER: Peter,|look who you're talking to.
I got a 120-gig hard drive...
and a digital connection|NASA would envy.
Whoa!|Is that one of those epsons...
you can print|greeting cards on?
Shut up, Corky.
OK, tell me exactly|what you need.
I need you|to plant Corky here...
with the FBl station|in Park Realm.
Set him up with a fake|background, name, and resume.
And it better be a good one...
because if they don't|accept his transfer...
I'm personally|going to download...
500 megabytes|of my fist up your ass.
CORKY: Uh, technically,|you'd be uploading that.
But, you know, not|that I'm a computer whiz...
or anything, because I'm not.
Just do the right thing,|Dexter.
I don't want|to have to kill you.
CORKY. Come on.|Let's settle down, huh?
All right.|What should his name be?
I really don't care|what you call him, Pissant.
PETER: Come on, guys.
CORKY: For my resume,|I'm very good with animals.
Thanks.
If you're going to keep|hanging out with us...
could you at least|try and carry yourself...
a little bit more like us,|please?
Oh, you mean with unmitigated|rage and violence?
Look, stop trying to talk|like mom, all right?
You're too soft.
You complimented that guy|on his equipment...
and then you thanked him|for his time.
I mean, Christ, Corky,|you might as well give him...
a glass of wine|and a handshake.
Are you guys familiar|with the expression...
"you catch more bees|with honey than vinegar"?
You know that one.
Ow! Ow! Ouch!
What is your problem?
Paulie,|where the hell is this place?
-I don't know.|-What place?
The motel.
But I thought I was staying|in the house in my old room.
-You can't stay in the house.|-Why not?
Well, a couple of reasons.
Number one, the house|is under surveillance.
Number two, we turned|your old room into a gym...
and threw out all your shit.
I thought I was going to--|God, what is--
Why did--|why did you do that?
-Shut up.|-Listen to your brother.
All right,|pull down your pants.
No.
Corky, I'm not going|to give you a wedgie.
I'm going to put a wire on you.
It's Uncle Leo's idea...
in case you get|in over your head in there.
Let's go. Pull down your pants.
Let's go.
[Laughs]
-Hey.|-Come on!
-[Laughs] Stop that.|-Knock it off!
OK. I'm sorry.
Move your hands.
-[Zips up pants]|-Ow! Ow! Ow!
All right,|give me a sound check.
Go ahead.
[Singing]|Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder where you are
All right, we're good.|We're good. That's good.
-B-i-n-g--|-We're good.
OK. All right.
PETER: When you get in there,|keep a low profile.
Don't prance around like|the goddamn Little Mermaid.
In and out.|No bullshit. Got it?
All right, you better walk|the rest of the way.
CORKY: You know what this|kind of reminds me of?
When I was younger,|and mom dropped me off...
at Camp Young and Chubby|for overweight teens.
And I was crying,|because I didn't want to go...
but at the end of the summer...
I was crying because|I didn't want to leave.
Isn't it weird...
how things just kind of|work out that way?
Fifty bucks says he doesn't|make it through the front door.
MAN SINGING: There's a man|who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets|he stays a stranger
With every move he makes...
[Sensor beeps]
Sir, spread your arms, please.
MAN: Odds are he won't live|to see tomorrow...
[Device beeps]
Could you empty your pockets,|please, sir?
CORKY. Pull me out!
Empty your pockets,|please, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't|realize you were an agent.
I didn't know|you were with the bureau.
Yes, I am with the bureau.
Ahem. I'm sorry. I just--|I had a little too much coffee.
I'm just a little wired.|Aah!
I mean "wired" as in "jumpy."|I don't mean "wired"...
as in there's a concealed wire|in my crotch.
CORKY: I mean, an FBI agent|wearing a concealed wire...
in his crotch--I mean,|that would be crazy, right?
Right?
You can go now, agent.
I will go now. Thank you.
Excuse me.
I had a small confrontation|at the checkpoint...
but don't worry.|I kept a cool head...
and I eradicated|any possible suspicions.
Agent Pissant?
Ah!
Yes. Hi. Uh...
Oh, actually, that's, uh...
[French accent]|that's Pissant.
Well, the transfer came|through at an opportune time.
We could use someone|with your experience...
on our special task force.
CORKY: Ooh!|A special task force, huh?
SHUSTER: That's right.
An elite team I've assembled--|the best of the best...
exclusively devoted|to catching the Night Vulture.
Night Vulture?
SHUSTER: Number six|on the most wanted list.
The biggest heroin supplier|on the east coast...
not to mention|the most sadistic.
Grr!
The last four guys|that pissed him off....
ended up|with their genitals severed.
I asked the coroner|about the weapon.
He says there was none.
That son of a bitch|did it with his bare hands.
Oh.
I'm Agent Howard Shuster,|station director.
Hi.
This is Brick Davis,|senior agent...
and my right hand man.
Agent Pissant.
CORKY: Uh, actually,|that's, uh...
[French accent]|it's Pissant.
It's--it's--|You know, it's French.
SHUSTER: Davis|is the best man in his field.
Right now,|he's about to take down...
the city's most dangerous|crime boss.
We're all but guaranteed|a conviction.
That's just one down.|By the time I'm finished...
the whole family|will be in jail.
SHUSTER: I've just been|revewng your resume.
Quite impressive,|but a degree from Harvard...
three commendations|for bravery...
and an olympic medal|for sharpshooting...
won't get you|out of the trenches.
We need all hands on deck|around here.
Good day.
Good day.
Sir? Thank you.
DA VIS: Nice tie.
Thank you.
It should give|some lucky sniper...
a nice target to aim for.
[Laughs]
Probably, huh?
[Rummaging]
Just go. Go.|I want to go home.
-What happened?|-Have you seen my resume?
It says I know|five different languages.
I'm an expert sharpshooter.
I'm a black belt|in something called...
gyong gyong gyong|something?
So the hacker|went a little crazy.
Ah, none of this shit matters.
Just go in there|and get the evidence.
Then you can go back|to giving hamsters enemas...
or whatever the hell you do.
-No!|-Get in there.
-No, I don't wanna!|-Get in there!
No, I don't wanna let go!|I don't wanna!
I don't wanna let go!|All right. OK, OK.
Put me down. Put me down.
PAULlE: Come here.|Come here, God--
All right, forget about it,|Paulie. This is pointless.
You know what?|We're going to have to have...
an ambulance standing by...
for when we break the news|to papa.
OK. I'll do it.
I'm sorry.|Which way to the evidence room?
Thank you.
Hi.
You must be Pissant.
Yeah. Actually, that's...|It's Pissant.
It's--it's French.
I'm Russo, part of|the Night Vulture task force.
Really?
Hi.
Heh heh.
What'd you say|your full name was?
Russo. Agent Russo.
What a beautiful,|beautiful name.
SHUSTER: Russo, Pissant,|we need you. He struck again.
You're kidding. Who?
The Night Vulture.
A rival drug dealer|was butchered and mutilated...
on 39th street.|Let's go.
SHUSTER: Pissant!
Oh.
Where the hell is he going?
Abrasions on left elbow.
Pooling of blood near torso.
Victim was shot, mutilated,|and dragged.
No consistency of clumps and|bile stain on magazine caddy.
Set time of death at 6:00 p.m.
Hi. Hi.|Hey, ma'am, how are you?
-Hey, mister.|-Hello, agent.
CORKY: Do you guys smell that?|What's going on?
How are you?
-Agent.|-Hi.
Oh, sweet Jesus!
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
What is it? You got something?
What happened?
Shouldn't we call someone?
[Squish]
Aah! Oh, my God!|What is this?
What is that?|Is that his wiener?
Shouldn't we have somebody|put that back on?
Maggots--that is so gross.
Maggots? Where?
Right there,|in their larval stage.
Maggots take|at least eighteen hours--
Wait a minute. Maggots take|at least 1 8 hours to hatch.
COX: You're right.
Change the time of death from|6:00 p.m. to before 1 2:00 p.m.
-Good work, agent.|-Oh. Grr!
Jackpot--a full kilo.
Someone want to run this|over to evidence?
Yes, l--l--
Oh.
[Squish]
Ohh! Oh! Aah! Where is that?
Here.
Uhh!
[Sniffing]
[Brakes squeal]
We're here.|Nice work, agent.
-Oh, thanks.|-Good-bye.
Oh.
Well, we can't chitchat|all day, can we?
So, uh...
maybe I'll see you sometime.
[Tires squeal]
[Car alarm sounds]
[Whimpers]
[Dog barks]
Hi. Hi, poochie. Hi. Hi.
What's the matter?|What's the matter?
Poochie can't reach the water?|No?
Poochie want some water?|Poochie thirsty?
There you go. You're|a tough action police dog.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.|Yes, you are.
OK. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Put that down.|Put it down. Put it down.
Come on. Give me the coke.|Give me the cocaine.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Let go. Let go.
[Whimpers]
[Laughs]
[Barks]
[Growls]
[Barking]
CORKY:|Come on. Poochie, come on.
Come on, come on. Poochie.
The evidence room--where?
Agent Pissant, there's|a group of second graders...
from the junior crimefighters|league in the auditorium.
I want you to give them|a few words on law enforcement.
SHUSTER: Now.
WOMAN:|As a special treat, kids...
we have|a real live FBl man here...
to talk to us|about what it's like...
to be a federal agent.
Thank you. Thank you.|Thank you. Thank you.
[Feedback] Thank you.|It's a little loud.
The clapping's|a little loud.
Yes? Question? Question?|You have a question?
You don't have a quest--
You don't? You don't?|You do? You don't?
It's kind of hot in here.|They're making pants tighter.
I don't know,|because I don't wear jeans.
Yes! Question?
I should buy a boat!|Don't you think? No?
Question?
God, I got to just--
[Hyperventilating]
Yes! You have a question?|No?
You do? You don't?|You do? You don't?
You do? You don't?|You do? You don't?
Oh, no, that's cool.|You don't have to.
No. You know,|just do your own thing.
I'm up here. You're|down there. That's cool.
[Feedback]|OK, so--Yes?
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Who's this freak?
DARNELL: I don't know.
DA VIS: Get a shot of him.
[Camera shutter clicks]
[Camera shutter clicks]
[Taking pictures]
What the hell are you doing?
They could be|watching the place.
Yeah, I know. That's why|I have the disguise on.
Ohh!
PETER: Who's that guy?
That's Shuster.|He's the, uh...director guy.
Who's next?
CORKY:|That's Brick Davis.
Is he the guy with the tan|and the muscular thighs?
What?
Who are|these two chuckleheads?
That's Cox and Darnell.
LEO: Hey, Paulie, write up|a card for Cox and Darnell.
PAULIE: Oh, come on, Leo.|I'm absorbing here, you know?
POPS: You're just lazy.|Make out a card.
Papa, I'm not lazy. l--l...
I don't even got|my reading glasses.
Aw, Jesus.
Is there anybody else?
Uh...
[Laughs]|No.
PETER: I thought I saw a chick.|Yeah, here it is.
A lot of good that does us.
PAULIE: [Whistles]|I was a little distracted.
Well, get undistracted,|dipshit. This is crunch time.
-Sorry.|-Hey, pop, relax.
OK, next time,|I'll take care of the pictures.
PAULIE: All right,|I want you to head...
straight|for the evidence room...
so we can just end|this shit today.
You got it?
Got it.|Keep the engine running...
because I'm going right in|and coming right back out...
so you guys keep it running.
[Click]
Hi.
Hi.
What you doing?
Oh, I brought you something.
Great.
This is just a little something|to get you through the day.
[Laughs]
It's funny because it's true.
[Laughs]
-Thank you.|-You're welcome.
-I have to go now.|-OK.
[Beep beep beep]
[Beep beep beep]
[Beep beep beep]
[Speaking Mandarin]
[Repeats sentence]
Yes, I know.
That's Mandarin for "hello."
I spent some time|in China myself.
You do speak Mandarin,|don't you? It's on your resume.
CORKY: Yeah. No, I actually--|I just spoke it this morning.
I was just thrown off|by your dialect.
I was actually taught|the language...
by an upper-class family,|Su Sussudio.
You think I'm stupid,|don't you?
-No.|-Listen, you little punk.
I'm on to you.
I don't know|how you got this far...
but you can't bullshit|your way through the FBl.
You better watch your back.|You got that?
-You got it?|-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Good.
Come on.|Shuster wants to see us.
DA VIS:|It's about the Night Vulture.
[Chair squeaking]
SHUSTER: This group|of neo-nazi skinheads...
is moving black tar heroin|for the Night Vulture.
They could be the vein that|leads us to the motherlode--
the Night Vulture himself.
The Night Vulture is number 6|on the most wanted list.
Pissant.
I want you to go in|and make a buy.
Great!
CORKY: But don't you think|you might be, um--
ahem--wasting my talent|on something this simple?
I mean, why don't you get|Agent Cox and Darnell?
I mean, they seem like|really sweet guys.
SHUSTER: We need a pro.
You will carry out|this assignment.
That is all.
Take down your pants.
We're going to tape this wire|to your crotch.
Oh, no, we can't do that,|but thank you.
-Why not?|-I have, uh...
very, very sensitive gonads.
All the men in my family do.
My grandpa|back in World War II...
is nicknamed|"Old cotton balls," so...
I don't want to hear any more|about your family's balls.
-OK.|-We'll tape it to your chest.
Cox, give me a razor.|We'll shave him.
Hmm?
SKINHEAD: Let's see|what you got today.
Come on. Man, you're|going to do five of them.
Come on, let's go,|you little wimp!
Hurry, let's go!
[Rock music playing]
SKINHEAD: You ain't nothing.|You suck.
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
[Turns off music]
Howdy!
[Cocks gun]|What do you want, bitch?
I just thought|that I can get some heroin...
and then we can all go out|and commit some hate crimes.
[Whimpers] Haah!
[Feedback]
-We lost transmission.|-Are we going in?
No. Pissant's been|in this situation before.
I'm sure he can handle himself.
[Crying] I've only been with|the FBl for, like, two days!
[Sobbing]
SKINHEAD: Take him|to the warehouse at pier seven.
[Barking]
You know, bad dogs aren't born,|they're made.
[Giggling]
-[Switches machine off]|-[Blowing]
[Brakes squeal]
TWISTED SISTER SINGING:|We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
-Ooh !|-Ow!
TWISTED SISTER: Anymore
Oh !
Hey!
SKINHEAD: Ohh!
He must've disengaged his own|wire and left with them.
As soon as it went to static,|we went in...
but they were already gone.
-Sir, you have a call.|-Not now.
Sir, it's Agent Pissant.
[Baby talks] Yes.
Hey, guys.
[Laughs]
SHUSTER: My God, Pissant.|You did this all by yourself?
CORKY: Eichmann...|Come here, Eichmann.
Eichmann, that tickles.
[Chattering]
Hey, hey, it's Pissant.
-Hey!|-All right!
Thank you.|Thank you very much.
Now if you'll excuse me,|I have to go tinkle.
[Beep beep beep]
[Beep beep beep]
[Door buzzes open]
Pissant.
Hi.
Oh. I was just going to go|find you and--and say hi.
[Laughs]
Hi.
What you got?
It was recovered|at the apartment--
the only hard evidence we have|against the Night Vulture.
Fingerprints all over it...
but we haven't been able|to get a make.
Uhh!
[Object shatters]
That... Night Vulture guy...|Phew!
RUSSO: I'm going to do|some young mu kwon.
Would you like to join me?
[lnhales]
[Exhales]
You don't fit the profile|of a typical fed.
What do you mean?
It's nothing bad.|It's actually refreshing.
[Laughs] Oh.
[Exhales]
I'm just doing|this FBl thing...
to pay some bills|before I get to my real career.
And what's that?
I'm going to be|a licensed veterinarian...
and own my own animal hospital.
-How sweet.|-Thanks.
Kyah, kyah, kyah!
Mmm!
I'm going to try|the tang soo do. Ready?
-Yeah.|-Nim-po!
[Feedback]
[Snorts]
Look, you don't have|to go easy on me.
What?
See, this is what|I'm talking about.
Every man here is afraid|to go full contact with me.
I'm not a barbie doll.|Now come on!
Hit me.
41 7 in progress. Let's go.
Oh. Gotcha.|I'm going to go get my thermos.
RUSSO: Didn't you hear him?|A 417. Come on.
Oh.
Back off!
RUSSO: Situation?
Night Vulture suspect,|heavily armed.
He's got seven hostages|in that building.
-Demands?|-None.
-I'll go get my rifle.|-Wait.
Pissant's our ace in the hole.
You know the drill.|Take him out.
[Sighs]
I'll blow his head off!|Now back off!
SUSPECT: Back off.!
God!
Sorry. Sorry.|I was just lining up the shot.
Hey, Nash Bridges,|you got the safety on.
[Clicks safety off]
[Crowd screaming]
Oh, my dog!
[Bullets ricocheting]
-[Explosion]|-[Whimpers]
Man down!
I'll cover you.
[Corky panting]
A dog.
What are you doing?|It's dead.
[Panting]
Here. Hold this.
What?
This looks like|a collapsed esophagus.
I've seen Dr. Kipper|fix one of these before.
Fix what? Who's Dr. Kipper?
Think, Corky, think.
Got it. I got it, I got it.
[Blows]
[Blows]
[Blows]
[Whimpers]
You've been in an accident, but|you're going to be all right.
[Whimpers]
Now run along.|Run along, run along, run along.
[Dog yelping]
That was amazing.
What was amazing?
What--what you just did.|You just saved that dog's life.
DA VIS: Pissant.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah. Sure.
Listen, how'd you do that?|That was really something.
Yeah?
Yeah. How did you--|Listen, you little shit.
You put my life on the line...
as well as every other agent|out there.
Now, first chance I get...
I am going to send you|straight to hell, you got that?
Hello, sir.
Pissant,|what the hell is going on here?
Sir. Ahem. It wasn't me.
It was the gun.|It was all funky.
What the hell|are you talking about?
DARNELL: Sir...
I think what Agent Pissant|is trying to say...
is that the perp's gun|was a fake.
-And he's right. Look.|-[Clicks]
Pissant, you're a cowboy...
but you've got to keep|the team up to speed.
We're not used to an agent...
with that kind of passion|and attention to detail.
Oh...
I will do my best, sir.
Sir, hostages|are safe and accounted for.
This clown|is not the Night Vulture.
Should I take him in?
No, no, no, let Pissant do it.|It's his baby.
Uhh! Uhh!
-Uhh!|-[Dials]
[Line rings]
-Poodles and pussies.|-Florence, hi.
How's Cousin Tony working out?
FLORENCE: Just fine.|In fact, profits are up 150%.
-What do you want?|-Can you help Jojo?
I think he's sick.
TONY: Yeah, sure, kid.|I'll fix him right up for you.
[Squeaks]
[Squeaks]
See, kid?|Jojo's all fixed up.
He just needed a new liver.
-How much?|-What do you got?
Keep up the good work, OK?
I'll be back lickety-split.|Bye, now.
[Babbling]
[Turns radio on]|Oh.
MEDLEY AND WARNES SINGING:|This will be love, because
I've had
The time of my life
And I've never felt|this way before
This, I swear
Is the truth
[Music continues,|suspect babbling]
Sir, could you be a sport...
and open the door for me,|please, sir?
OK, I see.
[Suspect kicking screen]
SUSPECT:|Let me out of here!
And I'm going to--
Sir, could you please|not do that?
Sir?|Please don't do that.
Come on. Sir.
Come on. Don't do that.
Come on, sir.
Hello? Hey.
Look out for that truck.|Ow! Arm ! Arm !
Excuse me. Sir.|Hi. How are you?
Sir! Please!
SUSPECT: Yee-hoo! Yahoo!
-Yaah!|-[Honks horn]
Off of the car!
Hey, I got|a little problem here.
CORKY: Hey,|if I could get some help...
[Music playing]
Uh, let me get a cup of|the rum raisin, then, please.
We don't have rum raisin, sir.
All our flavors|are listed on that sign.
All right, let me...
Give me a cup of the rocky road|there, then, please.
CORKY: Hello? Please?
Hey, Paulie, come on already!
Shut up!
-[Corky shouting over wire]|-[Honks horn]
All right, just give me a cup|of the pistachio there.
The sign s--
What are you looking at,|pantywaist, huh?
-You suck!|-[Car honks horn]
You suck, suck, suck!
The keys are right there.
If you could just...|turn off the car.
-Whoo-hoo!|-Whoa!
[Corky whimpers]
Cory, look out!
Get off of my car!
Don't put the--
Sir--
[Tires squeal]
Aah!
Aah!
[Crowd chattering]
What the hell is the matter|with you, dumbass?
You nearly got us killed.|What are you, retarded? Huh?
-What happened? You OK?|-ls everybody OK here?
-Oh, I'm fine.|-You OK?
CORKY: I'm in control.|Just a little fender bender.
I'm totally in control.
[Starts engine]
What are you doing here?
All right, out of the car.
DA VIS: Come on, let's do it.|Assume the position.
Aw, come on !
Against the car.
What the hell|is all this stuff?
PETER:|I'm helping my cousin move.
DA VIS: OK, boys,|tear this dago wagon apart.
Leave no seat unslashed.
Hold it!
What?
This guy just called me a dork.
-No, he didn't.|-No. Yeah, he did.
-I don't think he did.|-I saw--I read his lips.
This guy?
[Whispering]|It's me. Corky. Hi.
On the ground, both of you!
All fours. All fours.
I got a little gift for you.
Sorry I didn't have time|to wrap it.
[Grunts]
Pissant, take it easy.|People are watching.
[Grunts]
-[Pfft]|-Gahh !
Yeah !
Sniff. that one, ass clowns!
Hey, Pissant, relax, man.
I mean, technically,|they didn't do anything wrong.
CORKY: Get outta here!
Rarr!
What the hell are you doing?
[Sighs]
Look, Davis, you're too soft.
[Snickers]
Ahem. Sir.
[Doorbell rings]
-I'm sorry!|-Move it!
-Move it!|-Ow!
You're lucky there were|no chicks watching.
Now, did you at least|get the evidence?
No. I don't have it.
-Oh, for--|-You don't understand.
I am so close|that I can taste it.
-Where is it?|-I left it in the gym.
Christ, Corky,|what if somebody finds it?
No, it's OK!|It's in my briefcase!
It has my name...on it.
PETER: I ain't tellin' Pops.
The hospital says|he's getting worse.
They're sending a wet nurse|over here, Petey.
I think you mean|registered nurse.
Oh, really? Is that what|you think, Mr. Educated?
So now I'm the stupid one, huh?
Let me tell you something,|Corky.
When you was in vegetarian|school tugging llamas...
I was running numbers|for Pops, you understand me?
-Get outta here!|-Out!
And don't you come back--
Do not come back without|the evidence, you hear me?
-All right, I'm going!|-[Crash]
You know what?|Evidence! Evidence!
Hi, Corky.
Sorry. Sorry.
Looking for this?
I can explain.
-Explain it to Shuster.|-OK.
-How about now?|-Now's good.
Pissant, we need you ASAP.
-Not now. We're busy.|-This is priority.
A major heroin buy|is going down in Chinatown.
We think the Night Vulture's|supplying.
No.|That's a waste of time.
Get back to the planetarium|like I told you.
It's a virtual who's who|of Night Vulture suspects.
Sir, I don't know|who your source is...
but we've been|to the planetarium...
and it's on the level.
Nothing but field trips|and old women.
Exactly! The Night Vulture's|a chameleon!
It's just the kind of place|a sadistic son of a bitch...
like that would call home!
Sorry, sir.|This is direct from Shuster.
We're going to Chinatown, and|we're taking Pissant with us.
What's up, guys?
The seller's from Vietnam,|the buyer's from Thailand.
Sounds cool.|Where do I come in?
You translate.
Perfect.
What did he say?
He said that you have|very kind eyes.
Tell him I said thank you.
What?
What is going on?
Aah!
Someone get me outta here!
Peter! Paul!|Get me outta here!
[Corky yelling]
ANITA WARD SINGING:|You can ring my bell
Oh, yeah,|that's what I'm talkin' about.
Ring my, you can ring my bell
[Clucking]
-[Spits]|-[Gunfire]
[Whimpering]
Ah, damn. They both got away.
No. Pissant got one.
[Chuckles]
You just reminded him of|this horse thief he once knew...
and I defended your honor...
and he grew angry.
You got a cool head, man.
Goin' down on your knees,|crying like a girl?
That was great!
That's something I learned|from our friend the possum.
It's a tactic he would use|to thwart off his enemies.
We'll back you up any time,|Pissant.
-Mm-hmm.|-Call me Corky.
-My name's Terrence.|-Hey.
-I'm Bob.|-Hey, Bob.
You guys want to get|an orange julius or something?
We can't. Brick is sending us|to collect evidence...
on some underground casino.
Do you guys know|where Kate is, by chance?
She'd probably get a kick|out of this whole thing.
-She's gone.|-What do you mean, gone?
We're not at liberty|to discuss that.
Yeah, I know.|She didn't leave a note...
or a joke or a little poem,|by chance, did she?
Nope. See ya.
Bye.
SHUSTER: Pissant!|Give me one good reason...
I shouldn't can your ass|right now...
for breaking protocol|with that Romano file?
Sir, I just wanted to get|a closer look at the file...
and lend my expertise, sir.
You don't walk in|and take evidence!
You fill out an X-7-4!
And then you get it approved|by a superior! You got that?
Sir, the bottom line is,|because I got so excited...
I forgot|to follow procedures...
but I do take full|responsibility for my actions.
Pissant, you're an honest man.
That's a rare quality|in this day of buck-passing.
-I kind of admire that.|-Oh, what the hell?!
He just confessed|to breaking protocol!
A least he had the guts|to admit it.
We can all take a page|out of Pissant's book.
Good day.
Hi.
[Doorbell rings]
[Little girl voice] Hi.|You guys want some cookies?
[Sighs]|I'm sorry, you guys.
What is it, Corky?
I couldn't get the--|Sweet Jesus!
[Gasps] ;Ay, Dios mo!
What is she doing here?
That's Esperanza,|dad's new nurse.
Don't worry about her. She|don't speak a word of English.
-How do you know my name?|-What?
-Corky.|-You said that name again.
Ha ha ha ha!
Why are you freakin' out?
CORKY:|I'm gonna go, uh, make some...
toaster strudel for everyone.
Anyone?|I assume everyone wants one.
[Whispering] What the hell|are you doing here?
What are you doing here? And|why are you dressed like that?
I just came from|a Girls of America meeting...
and I sponsor|one of the girls...
and it's traditional|that you wear...
these outfits at the meetings.
I don't have time to talk.|What are you doing here?
I realized no one's|gonna just hand me...
a good undercover case,|so I made Shuster...
send me in here|to collect more evidence.
-What about you?|-I'm undercover, too.
That is so typical!|Shuster gave me his word...
that he wouldn't|send a man to cover me.
No, l-I was just here first.|That's why I'm here now.
How come Shuster|didn't say anything?
He doesn't know.
You're undercover|without clearance or backup?
-That's insane!|-I know. It's crazy, isn't it?
Uh, look,|this area is totally covered.
You can back off now.
No. I worked hard for this.|You back off.
Look, I don't have time|to fight with you, OK?
I don't want you to get hurt.
I don't need you to protect me.
-Fine.|-Fine.
PEGGY LEE SINGING:|Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet, she felt the same
When he put his arms|around her
[Whispering]|I gotta go.
PAULIE: Huh? Huh?|I can't believe this shit.
What happened?
Down at the casino,|they caught...
a couple of chumps|with hidden cameras.
Who are they?
PAULIE: A couple|of your little FBI buddies.
CORKY: Cox and Darnell.
Black Beauty.
[Spanish accent]|Black beauty.
You know,|I read this book to my son.
POPS:|Now you try readin' it.
Go ahead. I'm gonna help you.
"The--the m-m-mor-morning..."
Very good. Sound it out.
Sound it out.
RUSSO: "The mor-morn... "
POPS: "... ing. "
RUSSO: "ing. "
Whoa. Where do you think|you're goin'?
lnto the underground casino.
I heard you have|excellent craps...
and I'm in a crappy mood,|so...heh heh heh.
-You can't go in there.|-Says who?
The lady said beat it!|Understand?
Oh...yes, sir.
That's a good little bitch.
Now bounce this jive-ass fool.
CORKY: Aah! Uhh.
It's gonna take|a heck of a lot more than that.
3 DOORS DOWN SINGING: I took|a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying
Somewhere|in the sands of time
But I watched the world
Hey!
Fold to the dark side|of the moon
I feel|there's nothin' I can do
Yeah
Ow! Oh ! God, my nose!
WOMAN: You pervert!
-What?|-[Spraying]
If I go crazy, then will you|still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will|you be there to hold my hand?
CORKY:|But I didn't do anything !
I'll keep you by my side|with my superhuman might
Aah ! Aah !
[Woman yelling]
Uhh ! God !
[Banging on door]|WOMAN : Get out!
[Gasping]
Uh! Ha ha ha! Uhh! Uhh!
Ahh. Ahh. Ahh.
-Uhh!|-You again.
-[Snarls]|-Ooh! Aah!
[Whimpers]
Hmm?
WOMAN: Aah!
-Hmm?|-[Neck cracking]
Waaaaah!
Waaaaah!
Waaaaah!
MAN:|Let's introduce him to Shaky.
Get in there.
Hey, come on, you guys.|Someone's gonna get hurt.
[Shaking and yelling]
Sorry, Mr. Romano.
I had no idea|you were with the family.
A-ah,|d-don't w-worry ab-bout it.
You g-guys|are just d-doing your j-job.
Is there anything|I can get you?
No, b-but|if it's OK with you...
m-maybe I can take|m-my friends with me?
That's another one|we owe you, Corky.
Yeah, what a waste.
We should have been helping you|catch the Night Vulture.
If you could, just don't tell|the guys in the department.
Mum's the w-word.|W-b-b-b-b-ah!
[Gasps]
Psst!
[Whispering]|Shh! Quiet!
Why are you still here?|It's 3:00 in the morning.
RUSSO: I'm a live-in.
That's what the informant|arranged.
lnformant? What informant?
Ay!
-De corvato.|-Heh heh heh.
[Sighs] Soy una se˝orita.
-What?|-I don't know what that was.
[Door closes]
You tomcattin' son of a bitch!
I had no idea|you were such a ladies' man.
Ha ha! Yeah.
Yeah, she's livin' here 2 days,|you're already poundin' her.
I was thinkin' about|makin' a move on her myself...
but, you know,|I can get another broad.
Say, Pete.
I haven't seen you|with a woman in a long time.
In fact, I don't think|I've ever seen you with a woman.
I just haven't found the right|filly yet, that's all.
Do you remember|when we were kids...
how we watched that Christmas|special about Rudolph...
and how Rudolph knew|he was secretly different...
from all the other reindeer?
And then, you know,|Rudolph tried to hide it...
but that just,|you know, ended up...
making Rudolph|angry and scared.
And then he met|Hermey the Elf, remember?
[High-pitched voice]|And he--he didn't--I didn't--
He didn't like to make toys.
And, uh, but that|actually made Rudolph...
feel like it was OK|to be different.
Do you remember that?
I don't have time|for this shit.
Come with me.
[Door closes]
Agent Davis just brought this|to my attention.
You wanna explain that?
Heh heh. Kinda looks like me,|doesn't it? A little...
It's because it is you, Judas.
Right in the belly|of the beast.
Looks like Mr. McFeely here...
has been|sleeping with the enemy.
Don't you see, sir?
He's been stealing evidence|for the family the whole time.
Well, it's not gonna happen.
I'm gonna make sure of that.
Pissant, is this true?
No, this is some--
This isn't me.|It's some postman.
-It's you.|-It's not.
-Yes, it is.|-ls not.
-lt is you.|-lsn't!
-Yes, it is you.|-It's not me!
Knock it off, Davis!
Corky deserves a chance|to explain himself.
DA VIS: Knock it off.?
You know, this buddy-buddy|shtick between you two...
is really starting|to wear thin.
What are you talking about?
DA VIS: You know damn well|what I'm talking about!
Pissant this and Pissant that.
"Hey, I got an idea.|Let's send Pissant."
Well, I'm sick of hearing|about Pissant.
When's the last time|you talked about me?
When's the last time|you congratulated me...
on a hostage negotiation|situation?
Or said, "Hey, Davis, bang-up|job on that wiretap"? Hmm?
It's like I don't even exist.
-That's not true.|-Yes, it is!
The other day,|I wore my badge...
on the outside|of my left lapel...
just to see if you'd notice.
Did you notice?|No. I got nothin'.
I'm sorry.|Maybe I was a little bit busy.
Yeah! Talkin' about|how great Pissant is!
-[Door opens]|-[Knock on door]
Hey, Howard.|You wanted to see us?
Howard?!
What happened to "sir"?|It's "Mr. Shuster."
And what is|with those ridiculous ties?
It's this jiggling|little fruitcake, isn't it?
-Christ! Relax, Brick.|-It's Agent Davis.
SHUSTER:|He's right. Relax, Brick.
You're right.
I'm sorry... Howard.
That's Agent Shuster!
Oh, what? I can't call you|by your first name...
'cause I'm not a member|of the groovy tie squad?
No, it's because|you're an asshole.
I am not.
Yeah, you are.
Everyone thinks you are,|including your wife.
Why do you think she left you?
Well, her job relocated her|to Paris.
Bullshit. Right now|she's up in Kennebunkport...
gettin' poked|by some lobster fisherman.
-Aah !|-Come on, easy!
-You're dead !|-A ease!
[Yelling]
DA VIS: I'm gonna kill you!
[Gasps]
-Jesus, Corky, you scared me.|-Why are you still here?
I'm not leaving until|I get the old man on tape...
talking about murder.
Murder? I thought|we were trying to get him...
for gambling or tax evasion,|things like that.
No, that's nothing.|We wanna put him away for life.
[Sighs] Look...
this assignment is over, OK?
-You've gotta get out of here.|-No, I'm not done.
It's straight from Shuster.|You're through.
Well, I did it.|I got your evidence.
-You did?|-Yeah, only you know what?
I'm thinking about|giving it back.
-What?|-Kidnapping?
And--and--and--and murder?
What did you--what did you--|what did you think...
that I just wasn't|gonna figure it out?
Corky, I've been involved|in my share of scams...
but I never done|none of those things.
That's bullshit.|You gotta believe me.
Why?|Why would I believe you?
I swear on your mother's eyes|I never done those things.
Where did you get this?
It's right--|It's here...in...
I don't know|specifically where...
but it's here|in the sworn testimony.
Pops, check out|the caldones on this broad.
Testimony?
Testimony by who?
Testimony?|You got the evidence?
Hey, Petey,|he got the evidence!
Good job, kid.
Yeah, I knew you had|the grapes for it.
Tell you what,|I'll get rid of this.
CORKY: Wait a minute.
Not until I get|some answers here...
'cause there are some serious|accusations in this file.
Please, Corky, since when|do you give a damn...
about anything having to do|with this family?
Corky, let the adults talk.|Come here.
Now, you done a good job.|You got the evidence...
but you don't belong here,|so go home.
PAULIE: Oh, yeah! We are|back in business, fellas.
-Pops is back.|-I'll drink to that!
MEN: Ha ha ha ha!
PETER: Let's talk about...
What are you still doin' here?
Don't you got some puppies|to breastfeed?
I'm not going anywhere|until I'm damn well ready...
'cause I am sick|of being your lapdog.
Ooh, the other sister's|standing up for herself.
Ooh! Hey! Ow! Oh!
I'm as much a part of this|family as either one of you.
I put my life on the line.|I kept Pops out of jail.
I paid my dues.
Now you start showing me|a little goddamn respect!
PAULIE: All right!
You're a part of this family.|Now get off of me.
You wanna try that with me,|you little pussy?
Don't you touch him!
Pops, you're gonna get excited.
Shut up.|I'm already excited.
Now leave your brother alone.
Oh, sure, Pops. Take his side.|You always do take his side.
What are you talkin' about?
PAULIE:|You sent him to college.
You never sent me to college.
You showed that nurse more|respect than you showed me!
I saw you teachin' her|how to read !
You never taught me|how to read !
Which is why I still don't know|how to read !
POPS:|Don't be ridiculous.
Of course|you know how to read.
I see you with magazines|all the time--
Penthouse, Swank, Hustler.
Oh, shit.
PAULIE: You remember|that--that time...
I got arrested|at Tony Roma's...
for exposing myself|in the ladies' room?
I thought|it was the men's room!
And what about|the time that Uncle Leo...
sent me to the store|for a carton of marlboros...
and I come back with a--|with a carton of tampons?
Feminine products!
You thought it was funny,|right?
I was upstairs in my room|cryng.
Don't stare at me like|I'm some kind of a freak...
because I'll tell you|all something else.
He's a homo.
No, I'm not, Pops.
Huh... I'm not--|I love boobies.
Oh, bullshit! You got|a collection of mesh tank tops.
You got a poster of|Matthew Perry in your bedroom.
You got Divas Live on DVD,|for Christ's sakes.
You are one big faggot.
Well, at least I can read|the labels, you illiterate mook!
Take it back, you fruit loop.
You want me to learn you|how to spell "dead man"?
-How 'bout some of this, then?|-How 'bout this, eh?
Stop it! Just stop it.
"Ooh, help me, I'm gay."
"Ooh, I can't read."
I don't care how gay you are...
and I don't care|how stupid you are.
Get over it! OK?
Get over it.
Huh?
-[Sobbing]|-[Sobbing]
-I can't read.|-I'm a fag.
All right. Shh.
All right.
[Sighs] All right,|everybody out of the room.
I need to speak|to my father...
alone.
-Really, I'm sorry.|-I'm sorry, too.
Corky! Look at you!
Takin' control of the family.
I never thought|I'd see the day.
I never thought I would,|either.
You know what|you looked like just now?
Your mother.
Your mother was the glue|that held this family together.
You got the same instincts.
I see a lot of her in you.
-ls that why you sent me away?|-You know what?
I sent you away|because I love you.
You're not cut out|for this business.
You're cut out|for something better.
And you proved that.
I just wanted to be|part of the family...
just on my own terms.
You are part of the family.
You're my son.
For what it's worth, I believe|you didn't do those things.
And I think I know why|they think you did.
[Clock ticking]
[Sighs]
Peter! Paulie! Come quick!|Dad's having a heart attack!
Leo, call the doctor!
He's gone, Leo.
His last words, Leo,|he was calling out for you.
Now's your chance|to make your peace.
Why would Pissant|steal the evidence?
DA VIS: He's been in bed|with 'em since day one.
I just hope|he hasn't killed Russo yet.
God, I haven't been|on a raid in ten years.
All right, ladies.|Are we ready to rock and roll?
[Guns cocking]
Look, pop...
I may be a liar,|and I may be a coward...
but all I ever wanted was|a shot at running the business.
I'm sorry I gave you|a heart attack, you old jerk.
I just wanted you|out of the way.
Oh!
But I swear to God, pop,|if you were alive right now...
I'd tell the feds that none|of the shit I said was true.
LEO:|I swear on my father's name.
That rat bastard.
POPS: Old jerk, huh?
[Cocks gun] Sorry, Leo.
Just lookin' out|for the family.
Corky! You set this up?
And now you're going|to arrest me?
Ha! That's a laugh.
You're the biggest pussy|in the world.
Don't you ever|call my son a pussy.
You know, I can't believe|we trusted you, Leo.
[Gun cocks]
So now you're giving out|lectures on ethics?
Ha! Yeah, I know that one.
So what are you?|A fed or one of them?
CORKY: I'm one of them.|I was pretending to be a fed.
Because?
Because I didn't think|my father...
deserved to die in jail.
So where did I fit|into your little plan?
[Gun cocks]
I may be illiterate,|but I'm not stupid.
[Gun cocks]
Freeze.
[Gun cocks]
-Who the hell are you?|-Brick Davis.
Oh. Freeze, Brick.
[Guns cocking]
[Shouting]
Freeze!|Drop your weapons! Now!
Put 'em on the ground!
-Drop your weapons!|-Drop it!
You put the gun down!
Put your weapons down!
SHUSTER:|Russo, you wanna tell me...
what the hell's going on here?
-Sir, these--|-What's going on?
The guy that did it|just run out of the room...
and you're standing here|in your orange tie...
wondering what's going on.
Sir, Corky went after|the real criminal.
I knew it.|Corky's one of us!
OK.
[Boing!]
[Boing! Boing!]
[Boing! Boing!]
[Boing!]
[Boing!]
[Boing! Boing!]
Uhh!
Better face facts, little man.|Your luck just ran out.
Wanna tell me what time it is,|Mr. Night Vulture?
Good one. I'll take that.
You know, I never thought|I'd live to see the day...
that an FBl agent|would be peddling smack.
Don't act so surprised.
J. Edgar Hoover|used to wear a dress.
Just tell me why, Brick.
I don't know. I suppose|it made him feel sexy.
Not Hoover, you!
-Time for the meeting.|-What meeting?
The meeting|between your genitals...
and this knife.
-What's going on?|-He's the Night Vulture.
What? Corky, watch out.
CORKY AND RUSSO: Nim...ha!
-Move in!|-Let's go!
What the hell are you doing?
Brick is the Night Vulture.
RUSSO: It's true, sir.
Oh, God, Howard.
Take me away. Oh!
My God, Corky. That's two|you've given us today.
No, sir.|That's two we've given you.
Heh. Well.
Looks like we have more|to look forward to, huh?
I'm afraid not, Howard.|I got other plans.
[Laughs]
Hmm. Heh heh heh.|Let's go.
Let's hit the gym.
[Bells ringing]
Yay, Corky!
Bravo!
Russo!
Corky,|you made me so proud of you.
-I love you.|-I love you, too, daddy.
I got an announcement to make.
My son here, this big lug...
he's a fruit,|and I don't care who knows it.
Come here, you gay bastard.|I love you.
I love you, too.
The other one,|he can't read a stop sign.
And I wouldn't have it|any other way.
Come here,|you freakin' retard.
I love you.
Corky, get out of here before|I punch you in the mouth.
OK, dad.
[Cheering]
Hey, Corky, good luck|with the vet business.
Oh!
I know you're gonna do|just fine.
Dr. Kipper,|I will never forget you.
-Congratulations.|-Thanks.
NAT KING COLE SINGING: "L" is|for the way you look at me
"O" is for the only one I see
"V" is very, very|extraordinary
"E" is even more than|anyone that you adore can
Love is all|that I can give to you
Love is more than|just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart|and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
"L" is for the way|you look at me
"O " is for the only one I see
"V" is very, very|extraordinary
"E" is even more than|anyone that you adore can
Love is all|that I can give to you
Love is more than|just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart|and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
CQ
Caccia alla volpe - After The Fox
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Caddyshack
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Charlie - The Life And Art Of Charles Chaplin
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Cher - Live In Concert
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Chicago CD2
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Children Of Dune Part 1
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Childs Play 1988
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Chimes at Midnight
China Moon
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Chineese Ghost Story A 3
Chinese Ghost Story
Chinese Odyssey A
Chinese Roulette
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Choose Me (1984)
Chori Chori 1956
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Christiane F
Christine CD1
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Christmas Carol A
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Christmas Vacation (National Lampoons)
Chronicles of Riddick The - Dark Fury
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Cialo
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Citizen Kane
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City By The Sea
City Hall
City Heat
City Of God 2003 CD1
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City Of The Living Dead 1980
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City of No Limits The (Antonio Hernandez 2002)
City on fire 1987
Civil Brand 2003
Clan Des Siciliens Le - Henri Verneuil 1969
Clash of the Titans CD1
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Class Trip 1998
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Clearing The
Cleo De 5 Ó 7
Cleopatra 1963 CD1
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Cleopatra 1963 CD3
Cleopatra 1999 CD1
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Cliffhanger (Collectors Edition)
Cliffhanger CD1
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Cloaca
Clockers CD1
Clockers CD2
Clockstoppers
Clockwork Orange A
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (The Collectors Edition)
Closet The
Clownhouse
Club Dread
Clue
Clueless
Coast Guard 2002 CD1
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Cobra Verde CD1
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Coca-Cola Kid The 1985
Cock - A Broken Leghorn (1959)
Cock - The Foghorn Leghorn (1948)
Cockleshell Heroes The
Cocktail
Cold Comfort Farm 1995
Cold Mountain 2003 CD1
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Cold Mountain CD1
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Collateral 2004
Collateral Damage
Collector The
Colors
Colour Of The Truth
Coma (1978)
Comandante (Oliver Stone 2003)
Come And See CD1
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Commitments The
Como Agua Para Chocolate
Company Man
Company Of Wolves The CD1
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Company The CD1
Company The CD2
Con Air
Conan The Barbabian (uncut)
Conan the Barbarian
Conan the Destroyer
Confessions of Sorority Girls
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Connie and Carla
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Conspiracy Theory 1997
Control 2004
Conversation The CD1
Conversation The CD2
Cook The Thief His Wife And Her Lover The 1989
Cookies Fortune 1999
Cookout The
Cool Hand Luke 1967
Cool World
Cooler The
Cooley High
Cop Land
Corbeau Le
Corky Romano
Couch Trip The 1988
Counterfeit Traitor The 1962 CD1
Counterfeit Traitor The 1962 CD2
Countess Dracula (1970)
Country of my Skull
Cousin Bette
Cousins
Cover Girl (Charles Vidor+1944)
Cowboy (Delmer Daves 1958)
Coyote - Dont Give Up the Sheep (1953)
Coyote - Fast and Furry-ous (1949)
Coyote Ugly
Craddle 2 The Grave
Cranes Are Flying The (1957)
Crash
Cravan vs Cravan
Crawlspace
Crazy Beautiful
Crazy People 1990
Crazy in Alabama
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Crew The
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Crime Scene Investigation 3x01 - Revenge Is Best Served Cold
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Crime of Padre Amaro The
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Criminal Lovers (1999)
Crimson Pirate The
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Critters 2 The Main Course 1988
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Crossroads
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Cruel Intentions 3
Crumb (1994)
Cuba
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Cut Runs Deep The 1998
Cutthroat Island (1995)