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Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles

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Okay, ladiesand gents,|Walkabout Creek Hotel.
Last chance for a coldie|before we hit the outback.
G'day, all.|I'm your hostess.
You can call me Ruby or love or|anything, but never late for breakfast.
[ Laughing ]
And what's your pleasure, folks?
Gin and tonic, please,|and a Pims for the lady.
Gin and tonic, please,|and a Pims for the lady.
"G" and "T" and a Pims.
No, I asked for|a gin and tonic and a Pims.
Yeah, well,|there's no harm in asking.
Couple ofbeers|will be just fine.
That's the ticket, old mate.
- Hey, Nugget.|- G'day, Sue.
- Where's Mick?|- We got a panic call from the Rangers.
They spotted a huge croc|in the Tarrabool swimming hole.
Actually, we tossed a coin to see|who'd catch it, and Mickwon.
- He went after it alone, did he?|- No.
Jacko Jackson's gonna|meet him out there.
And Jacko, as you know, is the second|best crocodile man in the territory.
So you got no worries, love.
My only worry is I need Mick|to pick Mikey up after school.
I'll tell Mick foryou.|If he gets tied up with that croc,
- I'll pick up the young fella myself.|- Thanks.
I thought you were|the second best crocodile hunter.
- Oh, well.|- Oh, he's just modest.
He's one of the best,|you know?
Hey, Sue. If anything ever happens|to Mick, I'm gonna come courtin'.
Well, let's just hope|nothing happens to Mick.
Now, where are you,|you big ugly bugger?
This is as good as it gets.
Come on.|Come to Uncle Mick.
Big...
big...
big mistake.
Oh, shit.
[ Sighs ]
- G'day, Mick.|- G'day, Jacko.
What areyou doing up there?
Just sittin' up here, thinking|about a new career, mate.
Where'syour boat?
On the bottom.
- How'd that happen?|- Croc pulled it under.
Pulled it under?
How big was it?
That big.
Now what?
Well, now we scramble ashore|and go to plan "B. "
Don't move.
Well, could be worse, mate.
Oh, yeah?|How's that, Mick?
Well, someone could|see us up here,
up the tree, outsmarted|by a bloody crocodile.
- [ Chattering]|- [ Groans ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[Woman ] So help me God, ifl see|a snake, I'm gonna drop dead.
How are they gonna catch a crocodile|up there in the tree?
So, which one is the second best|crocodile hunter in the land?
[ All Laughing ]
Okay, everyone, we're on|a tight schedule here.
We better keep moving.|Don't want to disturb the hunters.
Back on the bus,|please, folks.
That's the way.
Bloody Nugget.|Great, eh, mate?
Two best crocodile hunters|in the entire Northern Territory, eh?
Yeah.
We look like a couple|of real pelicans, don't we, eh?
[ Both Laughing ]
You know what I hate about crocs?|They got legs. Come on.
Oh, remember the good old days|when we just used to shoot 'em?
Yeah, mate, but if there were no more|crocs, they wouldn't need hunters.
Oh, they'd need hunters...|to keep the wild pigs in control.
Pigs?|Oh, not the same.
I don't want my kid saying,|"There goes my dad, Pig Dundee. "
Do you want to be known|as PorkerJackson?
Well, no.
Nah, we need the crocs, mate.|They make us somebodies.
Without 'em, we're|just a couple of old bushwhackers...
with bite marks on our legs.
We'll get him tomorrow.|Same time.
Hey, I knew a pig farmer called|Porker O'Brien once. Hah!
You know why|they called him Porker?
I hate it when he does that.
Gives me the creeps.
- Thanks, mate.|- No worries.
So, you got out of that tree|all right, eh?
Now, how could you possibly|know about that already?
My people have ways of talking|that no white man can understand.
Arthur, you're so full ofbullshit.
No, it's a kind|of mental telepathy, eh?
- Yeah, mental, all right.|- [ Cell Phone Ringing]
Ah, I thinkwe just found out|which one of us is the white man.
Yeah?
Yeah, I heard about that.
[ Laughing ] Yeah, well,|he's standin' right next to me now.
- Oh, great.|- Yeah, okay. Yeah, later.
- So, are you doin' a show tonight?|- Yeah.
Already did the matinee.|Gotta keep the tourists happy, eh?
Oh, well, mate, these days|they're our bread and butter.
That's sort ofwhat we are now in|the 20th century-- tourist attractions.
As they say,|that's show business, mate.
By the way, Mick,
it's the 21 st century, mate.
it's the 21 st century, mate.
Oh, yeah, I-I knew that.
- See you, Art.|- See you later.
- See ya, Troy.|- See ya, Mikey.
- Wanna go fishing?|- Yeah.
- So, what did you learn today?|- Oh, just school stuff.
But we had an earthquake video,
and we learned how they happen|in California, America.
- Did you see one when you were there?|- No, I was in New York.
They don't have|earthquakes there.
People there wouldn't stand for it.|They'd be like,
[ lmitating New York Accent ]|"Earthquake? Hey, this is Brooklyn.
Get outta here.|Forget about it. "
They're tough.
Whoa, homework time.|What's that?
- It's goanna turd.|- That means he's close by. Find him.
- There he is.|- Yep.
- You hungry? Want him for dinner?|- Yuck, no way.
- Then you better miss.|- Dad, I never miss.
[ Gulping ]
Whoa.
Quick, Dad, there's a big razorback|up there. Can you do it?
- Do what?|- You know, that trick. Please.
All right, but it won't work|ifyou're scared. He'll smell it.
I know. I won't be scared.|I promise.
Don't look at him|till I do.
I really won't be scared|if I can carry your knife.
[ lmitates Growling ]|Cool.
[ Laughing ]
Okay, Dad, I'll talk it over|with Mick. Uh-huh.
No. No, and ifwe decide|we need to be married,
I promiseyou'll be|the first to know.
Would you like to say hello|to your grandson? Okay. Hang on.
Hey, Mikey.|Come say hi to Grandpa.
Hi, Grandpa.
Pretty good, yeah.
- [ Sighs ]|- So, what's new?
Oh, Tom Zetland-- he ran|the L. A. bureau of Dad's paper--
was just killed|in a car accident.
- What, was he a mate ofyours?|- Actually, no.
But the thing is, Mick, Dad is now|pleading with me to take his place...
while he looks|for a permanent replacement.
What you're sayin' is your dad wants|you to go work for him in Los Angeles.
Mm.
For how long?
Well, I told him I might|fill in for a few weeks.
Well, tell me this, ifwe lived|over there in the city,
- would you take the job then?|- Oh, sure.
I mean, I was raised|by a newspaperman,
and, well, I don't know, I guess|it just gets in your blood.
That settles it then.|Take the job.
At least forthe rest oftheyear.|Me and Mikey'll go with you.
- You're kidding?|- No. Good for him. Help him decide.
Decide?
- Your dad owns a newspaper, right?|- Mm-hmm.
You're his only child. Someday|Mikey's gonna have to decide.
Does he want to be an assistant|crocodile wrangler...
orthe owner|ofa big-city newspaper?
That's a tough one.|And the travel will be good for him.
Remember how my trip|to New York...
sort of opened my eyes|to the ways of the world?
Made me a lot more--|What's the word?
- Sophisticated?|- Yeah.
By the way, Mick, what are|you doing with that awful trap?
You're not going to use that|on some poor animal?
No, I'm lending it to Donk.
Some mongrel's been sneaking|into the pub at night...
and knocking offhis grog.
[ Chuckles ]|Stealing Donk's beer, well,
- I guess they deserve to be mangled.|- Yeah.
Well, what aboutyou, Mikey?|What do you think?
How would you like to live|in California for a while?
- They have earthquakes there, right?|- Well, yeah, they have had.
Cool.
I thoughtyou might say that.|You're gonna have lots offun.
Actually, you're the one|I'm worried about.
No, I'm fine.
Um, Mick, I seem to remember|after a few weeks in New York...
you did get pretty antsy.
Yeah, a bit antsy.
Mm, that's what I love about you, Mick.|You're always so unselfish.
No worries.
# Yeah #
# Yeah|Dance, dance, dance, dance#
## [ Woman Vocalizing,|Indistinct ]
[Mick ] Beverly Hills, eh?|Home to the movie stars.
A lot of 'em, yep.
You're not in show business,|are ya?
- No, I'm in the tourism game myself.|- Hey, so am I.
When I'm out driving this.|Actually, though, I'm a writer-actor.
Just, you know, drive the limo|between gigs. Make a lot of connections.
Had Tom Arnold in the car|this morning.
Tom Arnold?
Oh, wife probably knows who he is.|She's- She's in the newspaper business.
- A reporter.|- Yeah.
Here, take one of these.|You never know.
Thanks.
There you go.
That- That's nice.
No, you can keep that.|I got plenty of copies.
Crocodile!
[Sue ] Okay, tax reliefplan.|State tax only.
No interest there.|raffic accidents.
Okay, these figures comparing L. A.|to New York drivers, that's good.
Follow through on that.
Great. So our policy|hasn't changed then?
- How so?|- It's like Mr. Zetland used to say,
[lmitating Mr. Zetland]|"We're a New Yorkpaper.
If the news ain't about New York,|then who gives a rat's ass? "
Or words to that effect.
So he wasn't too happy|about working in L. A., huh?
Oh, no, no. Tom loved it here.|No, he loved doing exposÚ features...
and investigating|scams and phonies.
- What was he working on?|- He was doing this feature...
on this new mini studio.
He started to get|really excited about it.
I think he smelled a rat.
But what it was about,|only Tom knew.
Maybeyou can find out what sparked|his interest in there. Good luck.
Oh, hey, how are your boys doing?|Are they out exploring?
Oh, yeah. Should be fun too.|For both of them.
- [ Chattering]|- [Man ] Come on, people!
Thankyou. Oh, spontaneous|applause, thankyou.
Thankyou.
All right, a couple oftricks.|Behind the back.
All right, all right,|all right, underthe leg.
[Juggler Chattering ]
- [ Bones Cracking ]|- [ Man Groaning ]
[Juggler Continues|Chattering ]
[ Groaning Continues ]
Hey, Dad, look.|There's those girls from Baywatch.
- What?|- Baywatch.
On TV, you know?|The girls that run funny, like this.
And Donk and all the men|in the pub go, "Whoa! "
- What've you been doin' in the pub?|- Whoa! Hey!
- I am so sorry. Whew, muscle fatigue.|- It's okay.
- You all right?|- Hey, do you know what time it is?
Oh, it's about 12:30,|maybe 12:35.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, that's cute,|but you're wearing a watch.
- That's not a watch, it's a compass.|- Oh!
Yeah, I'm new in town.|I couldn't find my house without this.
Really? So where's|your house from here?
Eleven point five miles,|two degrees north northeast.
Called, uh, Beverly Hills.
Bev Hills?|So, you have a nice home?
- Yeah, we got eight dunneys.|- Yeah, that's eight bathrooms.
- Oh, nice. This-This your boy?|- Yeah, that's Mikey.
- So, you married?|- No, he's not married.
- So you got custody?|- Yeah. Well, Mikey's my son.
- Right. So you're a good parent?|- Well, I'd say.
Right. Oh, this is too good.|I finally bump into a cute cowboy.
He's more Robert Redford's vintage|than Brad Pitt's, but that's okay...
'cause he's got a mansion in Beverly|Hills, plus he's got custody of his kid.
That means he'd be a good dad|to my Cindy and this is--
Oh, there's a catch, right?
Nothing this good|ever happens to me.
Are you-- You're not available?|You're- You're gay, right?
Um, most of the time,|pretty happy, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]|Of course.
Cute cowboy, Venice Beach,|had to be gay.
What was I thinking?
- Boy, she was a chatterbox.|- Yeah, mate. American woman.
- She's got a nice ass.|- Yeah. Hey,
you gotta stop hangin'|around that pub.
[ Sighs ]|Who taught you that? Nugget?
- Find anything fishy?|- Yeah. Listen to this.
Silvergate Pictures make their|first movie, right? LethalAgent.
It's a total bomb.
So the very next picture|they make is LethalAgent II...
which, of course, goes straight|to video where no one rents it.
And guess what they're doing now|to save their reputation?
- Uh--|- Yeah.
I don't know.|Did Tom talk to these guys?
Yeah. I think he spoke to everybody|from the president of the studio down.
That's when he seemed to get|really excited about the story.
All I can see here is a bunch of|really dumb business decisions.
But, of course,|that's not illegal.
Well, you know, that's|the research I did for him.
Whatever Tom was working on|isprobably in his P. C.
I can get the disk from his house,|ifyou're interested.
That'd be great.
And I notice they're having a "meet and|greet" for press and industry people.
Do you know who would|normally cover that?
Fay Olson does entertainment.
Okay. Tell her she can have|the night off, and I'll fill in.
- Hey, Dad, what sort ofcaris that?|- I can't look now, mate.
These California people are|nice and friendly and polite...
till they get in their cars, then|they turn into crazed wombats.
Quick, Dad, stop,|there's a dog in the road.
Where?
- So where's the dog?|- He ducked in there.
I'll get him.
Be careful.
All right, everybody, stay back.|Don't worry, we'll get him.
I'm on it.
- What's the hell's goin' on up there?|- Come on, buddy!
The guy said there's|something on the road.
He looks like a nut to me.
- Probably a bomb orsomething.|- It's a what?
- He says it's a bomb!|- It's a bomb! It's gonna blow!
[ All Screaming ]
Come here, boy. Come on.
He won't come out.|He's scared.
That's not a dog.|That's a--
I don't know what it is.|Some kind of possum maybe.
I've neverseen|a black and white possum.
I've never seen|a black and white possum.
I think it's a skunk.
How do you know what a skunk|looks like? We don't have 'em at home.
It looks like Pepe LePew|in the cartoons on TV. [ Chuckles ]
I thought skunks were|supposed to stink.
[ Sniffing ]|Don't stink.
Come on, boy.|Come on.
[Dispatcher Chattering]
Possible explosive device|and hostage situation.
There we go.
No wonder he's scared.
Those bloody helicopters.
Take off!
We have a very tricky situation|for the police here.
The suspect appears to be|holding a young boy hostage.
Stay where you are!
Put the bomb down!
What?
That's not a bomb.|That's a cat.
Ah, see, just like at home.|The policeman is your friend.
They're here to help us.
That's not a cat.|That's a skunk.
- You can take it from here, guys.|- Uh-uh.
Uh, Mike, I wouldn't|mention this to your mum.
She probably wouldn't understand.|It's man stuff.
Of course, at that stage,|early this afternoon,
we had no idea that the bomb|was, in fact, a skunk.
Officers reluctantlyplaced|the skunk in a squad car...
to await the arrival|ofanimal control.
In the meantime, it backed up|traffic on the 101...
[ Volume lncreases ] from Calabasas|to Pasadena, the worst traffic jam--
- What are you doing, Mikey?|- Uh, it's okay, love, it's me.
Oh. Mick, are you sure|you want to come tonight?
I mean, it's a social thing,|but it'll be work for me.
I'm lookin' forward to it.
You know, to see if the local people|are as friendly as New Yorkers.
I hopeyourson feels the same way.|He starts school on Wednesday.
Oh, no worries.|He's, uh, he's just like me, really.
From what I hear, he has enough charm|to stop a skunk from spraying him.
Yeah, well, you know, we were|roarin' down the freeway--
It's okay.
- You looked really cute on TV.|- Bloody television.
## [Rap ]
Not this time, pal.
- [ Gasps ] Mick!|- Call the cops!
Let him go. He's the valet.|He's supposed to park the car.
Yeah, yeah,|take it easy, dude.
- Tip him.|- Sorry.
- Honest mistake.|- Sorry.
Valet?
## [Rap Continues]
- Picture, please.|- Sure.
Mind ifwe get a shot?
Don't worry. I'll just get|a drink, blend right in.
Okay. I'll come and get you|after I've done the formalities.
[Man ]|Big smile forthe camera, please.
All right, that's your Evian,|and this here's...
your sparkling mineral water|with a twist.
Oh, and a straight club soda.
So, you havin' a drink|or doin' your laundry?
G'day. Mick Dundee.|And you're--
Tony. What can I get|foryou, Mr. Dundee?
Just a cold beer'll do, mate.|Thanks.
That's typical of L. A. today.|Health nuts.
Worried about what they drink,|worried about what they eat.
I used to be like that|till I found the answer.
Oh? And, um,|what's the answer?
Coffee. Eat and drink whateveryou|please, then flush it out with coffee.
So you just drink|lots of coffee.
No. You don't drink it.|I'm talking colonics.
A good coffee enema|leaves you clean as a whistle.
[ Chuckles ]|Bottoms up.
Hey, Tony.|An enema--
Isn't that where they shove|a hose up the old--
- Yep. Lots of people swear by 'em.|- With coffee?
- Cream and sugar?|- It's L. A.
Excuse me, Mr. Rothman.
I'd love to introduceyou|to someone.
- Ms. Sue Charleton from Newsday.|- Hello.
Arnan Rothman. Delighted.|Didi tells me you've replaced...
- our late friend, Tom Zetland.|- [ Cell Phone Ringing]
- Excuse me.|- That's a shame. He was a good man,
and he really knew his way|around this business.
Well, I'm afraid I come up|a bit short in that department.
Actually, I was hoping|maybe you could help me out.
- Are you in the cast ofthis flick?|- Me? Oh, no, I'm socializing.
Networking. Me too. Have you seen|any of these masterpieces?
- No.|- Unbelievable schlock. I kid you not.
Makes you embarrassed|to be in the business.
The only thing I've seen worse than|LethalAgent was LethalAgent II.
I read the script on this one,|and it's even worse.
I don't know how these clowns|stay in business.
I suppose you've heard, then,|they're making LethalAgent IV.
What?
No one told me.|Do you know if they're casting yet?
I gotta call my agent.
I'm planning on following|through on Tom's story...
more about your film company|than this particular film.
- We shot the whole thing in Greece.|- Oh!
[ Gasps ]
Allow me to introduce Milos Drubnick,|our international vice president.
- Sue Charleton.|- Delighted to meet American star.
I'm big fan, all your films.
Well, that's very kind ofyou,|but I'm a journalist.
- Sue's from Newsday.|- Huh.
Milos handles all our|Eastern European activity.
I could not work over there|without him.
You'll excuse me.
Well, I don't want to monopolize|all your time here.
I was hoping we could catch up|at the studio.
Absolutely.
That's just the way|they do things.
You don't want that, love.
Get some free food in you.|You'll feel a lot better.
You're welcome.
- Hey, you're from down under, right?|- Yeah.
I don't suppose you know|Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson? Ought to.|Bailed him out of jail twice.
You're kidding.|You really do know him?
- I could tell some tales about Mad Mel.|- Please do.
- I could tell some tales about Mad Mel.|- Please do.
I thoughtyou said we were finished|with these prying Newsday people.
She'sjust following up on|the originalstory. I'll handle it.
No. Now she want to come snooping|around studio. You should say no.
Look, we're the new boys|in town, right?
We're supposed to be begging|for publicity.
We start banning the press,|they're gonna be all over us.
Leave this to me.
- He takes his shoes off-- Thanks, Tony.|- You're welcome.
Runs outside stark naked.
Sets fire to the building|and burns it to the bloody ground.
[ All Laughing ]
He's a mad bugger.
Excuse me.
Mel Gibson's best friend.|They're practically brothers.
I've seen them together.
Just tellin' 'em a few tales|about Mel Gibson.
- You don't know Mel Gibson.|- Yeah, I do.
You know him too.|Met him at Donk's pub.
Mel Gibson. Tall redheaded fellow,|walks with a limp.
Oh, "Mal. " Malcolm Gibson.|Not Mel Gibson.
Yeah, Mal Gibson.|They know about him over here!
Small world, isn't it?
Hey, Mick. Mick,|you give me a call anytime.
Okay, dude. Hey!|Maybe we'll do lunch.
- Mick, you're starting to scare me.|- I like Hollywood.
Good afternoon.|Welcome to Beverly Hills.
Thanks.
So, your story on the film company|just got red hot.
Tom Zetland's place was robbed,|and they took everything.
Oh, my God, that's terrible.|But how does it make the story hot?
Tom is accidentally killed?
His place is cleaned out, leaving|no clues to what he's working on?
Maybe Tom was|on to something big,
and they had to shut him up.
You think the film people|had him killed?
It's possible.
I had a bad vibe about this|from the start.
I thinkyou should be|careful going out there.
Well, I'm not exactly going|into a Mafia stronghold.
I'm interviewing|a studio head on the lot.
I'm even bringing my family along.|They're gonna do the tour.
Well, all righty, then. Welcome,|ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls,
to the Paramount Pictures tour.
This is where the magic happens,|people. But before we actually begin,
I'm gonna ask you all|to raise your right hand.
Okay, cool. Now what|you're about to witness...
are some of the biggest secrets|of moviemaking.
So I must ask that all ofyou swearnot|to reveal anythingyou witness here.
Do you swear?
Uh, just say, "I do. "
- [ All ] I do.|- Okay.
Righty- o, Jim.
Oh, wow, you're in for|a special treat here today, people,
'cause just up ahead|we're actually filming...
a giant crowdscene forthe latest...
Silvergate Studio picture,|LethalAgent III.
I told you we should've gone|to Universal.
Because quite simply, losses|on the first two movies...
are amortized into the cost|of the franchise.
We're making this movie|for practically nothing.
Okay, but still, wouldn't it|be cheaper to make your films...
either here or in Eastern Europe|instead ofboth places?
Sure, but our movies are set|in Eastern Europe.
You can't fake|the locations here?
I mean, they're shooting|an African jungle next door.
Sue, can you and I talk|off the record?
- Willyou excuse us for a minute?|- Sure.
Quite frankly, the, uh,
the success or failure|of these films...
is of little importance to us.
We're afterbiggerfish.
There are over|300 million people...
in what was once|the Soviet bloc.
People who are starved|ofentertainment.
Movies shot in their own backyard,|starring their own people.
I'm talking about building|major studios, cineplex chains,
even theme parks.
The deal I am talking about will make|Euro Disney seem penny-ante.
Well, this is a great story.|A Russian Hollywood.
And when do we go on record?
[ Sighs ]|Two weeks, tops.
But foryou,
24 hours before|the rest of the world.
Exclusive to Newsday.
And in return?
Postpone the piece you've|already started. Right now, what is it?
It's a-- It's a story|about a small-time studio...
and their two|unsuccessful movies.
[ Chuckles ]|Who cares?
What do you say?
- [ Buzzing ]|- Well,
if it's a Newsday exclusive,|I guess you got a deal.
Claire, why don'tyou take|Ms. Charleton down to the set.
You can see the glamorous|side of the business.
I'll be in touch.
You are good.
[ Tour Guide ]... where we can transform|an ordinary man orwoman...
into an ape or a clown.
All righty, then. Now, before|we enter this next portal,
it is my duty to warn you that several|dangerous jungle creatures...
have been sighted on the loose,|so keep inside the tram at all times.
I don't want to lose|anyone... again.
- Dad, do you have your big knife?|- Didn't think I'd need it here.
I might have my pocket knife.|What do you need it for?
- In case the jungle animals attack.|- I thinkwe'll be all right.
Okay, look out, folks,|it's a giant deadly anaconda!
- [ Passengers Gasping ]|- [ Chuckling ]
- Well, that's awesome, dude.|- Sorry, reflex action.
Okay. Cool.
Let's get outta here.
[Man ]|Hey, is he part ofthe show, or what?
G'day.
- Was that more man stuff, Dad?|- You got that right, mate.
- Hey, you two. Did you have fun?|- Yeah, it was cool.
Yeah. So how'd your interview go?
Creepy.
Did you ever talk to someone and think|everything they're saying is a lie?
Yeah. Nugget.
Well, Nugget's harmless.|This guy--
You know what you should do? Your|paper's got police connections, right?
You get the cops to do|a background check on him.
That's the way they do it|on NYPD Blue.
Hmm. Well, I see Mikey's|not the only one glued...
to the TV all day long.
But we only watch educational|programs. Right, mate?
Yeah. Like wrestling.
"Can you smell|what the Rock is cooking? "
- Well, did he behave today?|- Yeah, he was good as gold.
I wasn't talking to you.|I was talking to Mikey.
Oh.
And no more TV.|You start school tomorrow.
G'day. Mick Dundee.
Here to pick up my ankle biter.|It's his first day.
Ah, Barry Katz.|What, uh, grade's he in?
- Uh, fourth.|- Oh, same as my boy.
My boy's in the third.|Eric Berry.
- Hi, Eric.|- Well, you look like an outdoorsman.
What do you think of this|whole survival camp idea?
What is it?
The school's puttin' it on this summer.|Teach kids how to survive in the woods.
Fishing, making campfires.|Dads are welcome.
- Oh.|- [Eric ] I think it's a great idea.
Gives them a chance to get in touch|with nature. I'm gonna take Gary along.
Good for you.|Couple ofweeks in the bush,
you and your boy,|you'll both love it.
You ever take your boy into the outback|where you were? Down under?
All the time.
Just last month,|I took him into the bush.
Taught him how to kill|a wild boarwith a stick.
Kill a boar?|But he's, like, nine years old!
Yeah, well, you know what they say.|Better late than never, eh?
Ah.|See you later, fellas.
Hey, Dad. Ms. Mathis wants to talk|to you. I'll meet you over there.
- Dorothy Mathis, Mr. Charleton.|- Oh, how do you do?
Actually, it's Mick Dundee.|But I'm Mikey's dad.
Oh, Mr. Dundee. Right.
Well, first off, Mikey is|a lovely boy. Bright, friendly.
There's just one small problem,|one we run into all the time here.
We call it|the "Hollywood Syndrome. "
Like when a dad plays|a policeman in a movie,
the children often believe|he's actually a policeman.
Oh, right, you've got|a lot of actors' kids here.
I'm not in the movie business, I'm in|the tourism business. Not so glamorous.
Exactly. Which is why|your son tries to make it...
sound a bit more colorful|than it really is.
Now, it seems harmless,|but little fibs can grow.
What's he been sayin'?
I'm afraid he told everyone|you're a hunter,
and you hunt and kill crocodiles.|[ Chuckles Nervously ]
Oh. He knows|better than that.
Crocodiles are protected.|I don't kill 'em. I catch 'em alive.
Oh? Well, yes, of course.
I'll talk to him.|There'll be no more fibs.
Really nice to meet you, Dorothy.
Looks like a hunter.
Nice butt.
Dad, will you tell the teachers|to call me Dundee, not Charleton?
Oh, sure. We just had to enroll you|at school underyour mother's name...
'cause that's your|legal name over here.
Is that 'cause|you won't marry Mum?
Oh, no, we're married...|sorta.
We just haven't done|the legal bit yet.
So what'd the kids say when you told|them your dad was a crocodile hunter?
They said, "Well, what's|he doing in Beverly Hills? "
Smart kids.
Hey, Dad,|what's that man doing?
I don't know.|Let's go and ask him.
Excuse me, mister.|What are you doing?
Well, I'm meditating,|young man.
What's meditating?
Meditating is a special place I go|in my mind where there's no distraction,
and I receive|a great source of power.
Cool. Can you|show us how, please?
Sure. Come forward|and have a seat.
- My name's Mikey. What's yours?|- Hi, Mikey. I'm Mike.
Oh, hi, Mike.|I'm Mick, Mikey's dad.
Mikey, Mick, Mike.|You gotta be kidding me, right?
- No.|- Okay, okay. Hold your legs...
Iike in a Buddha position,
grab your ankles to|save yourself some discomfort,
and, um, we're gonna take it easy--|close your eyes, relax.
[ lnhales Deeply ]|Inhale the positivity,
[ Exhaling ]|exhale the negativity.
Inhale the positivity,
exhale the negativity.
Open your eyes.|Wake up. Relax.
- How do you feel?|- Very powerful.
And that's the ticket, daddy-o--|power. It's all in the power.
Mikey, would you just hurry up ahead.|I need to talk to Mike for a minute.
- Okay.|- In private.
- Thanks, Mike. See ya.|- You're welcome, Mikey. Take care.
Now, Mike, I need a favor.
You know, Mick, everybody|needs a favor from me.
Well, I need you to help me up.|My knees have locked.
That's my bad right there.|You got it, buddy.
I didn't want my kid to see.|Oh! There.
Thankyou.
Hey, Dad, did you see the size of|Mike's muscles? They were huge.
Yeah. You see, you should never|judge a book by its cover.
That Mike-- big man,|built like a brick dunney,
but I could tell straightaway|he was a gentle man.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.|I just know people. It's a gift.
[Man On TV] I needyou guys|to tearthisplace apart.
Ah, it's the bowlin' ball.|Pure heroin.
- I know it's here somewhere.|- Check out the bowlin' ball.
- Hey, what about this bowling ball?|- There, I knew it.
[ Television Continues ]
- Hey, Sue!|- Hmm?
- What are you doin', love?|- Trying to think like a journalist again.
I used to be|pretty good at it.
Not that anyone was gonna put...
Sue Charleton and Pulitzer Prize|in the same sentence,
but, ah, [ Sighs ]|I'm just stumped.
Is it that, uh,|film studio thing?
I'm sure it's an elaborate front|for something. But what?
They're smugglin'.
- Drugs or guns.|- How doyou arrive at that?
That's what it always is.
The big money thing they smuggle|into America are drugs.
And the big thing goin' out--|guns.
Oh.
And where did this insight into|major criminal activities come from?
Oh, from TV.|I'm a quick learner.
I look like I just fell offthe turnip|truck, but I didn't land on my head.
You know what you need?|You need a mole.
- A mole?|- Me. I'll get a job at the studio.
Oh, Mick, I know you need|something to do, but--
I made a lot of contacts|at that movie party.
I bet one of them|could get me a job there.
Well, what about Mikey? Who's gonna|take him to school in the morning?
I'll get him one of those nannies.|I'll get a good one.
No worry. Leave it to me.|This is important.
See, sometimes I thinkyoung Mikey|thinks I'm a bit of a hillbilly.
Well, I am, actually.
I wanna show him that being a hillbilly|doesn't necessarily mean you're dumb.
I wanna show him that being a hillbilly|doesn't necessarily mean you're dumb.
[ Man ] So our first group,|stroll up the street,
followed by our three businessmen|at a more brisk pace...
and then our two|construction workers!
- Diego Rosales.|- Yeah, Mick. Mick Smith.
Nice to meet you, Mick.
Now, we're in Berlin,|so please walk like Germans!
How do Germans walk?
- One foot after the other?|- Okay.
So, this is a rehearsal!|Background only!
And... action!
What the hell are you doing?
I just wanted my kid|to see me in the picture.
Yeah, well, ifyou start looking|at the camera during the take,
- they'll take you out ofthe picture.|- Oh.
- You're new, aren't you?|- Yeah, first role. Bit nervous.
Cut!|Back to one, please!
- Just relax. Watch me, okay?|- Yeah.
Forget about the camera.
We're two working stiffs|on our way to a bar.
- Oh, just pretend it's real life?|- Yeah.
Okay, now, people, we will be doing it|for real this time, and remember--
attention, please!
- Quiet, everyone! Picture's up!|- Quiet!
- Roll!|- Sound speed.
Marker.
Set.|And... background action.
And action.
Stop that man!
- Cut! Cut!|- Man, are you okay?
- What the hell happened?|- It was my fault. I saw him runnin'--
Uh, what happened is that he--|he tried to catch him as he fell.
We saw him trip. He went down hard.|Areyou sureyou're okay?
- Thanks for trying, buddy.|- Okay, we'll go again.
Back to one! Fast asyou can!|We're losing the light!
Hey, thanks|for covering up for me.
I couldn't help it, you know? Reflex.|Sort of like a football flashback.
Football, my ass.|That wasn't exactly a legal tackle.
It is at home. It's called a dowel|and coat hanger. Anyway, I owe you one.
No, no, it's okay.|I had to keep you here.
You're fun. I want to see what you're|gonna do to screw up the next take.
Okay.
Oh, uh, what's the problem,|Michael?
Miss, do people like rats|in America, or are they just pests?
- Why do you ask?|- There's a big rat in the bookshelves.
[ All Screaming ]
[ Gasping, Groaning]
- Is it dead?|- No, Miss.
I only stunned it. Dad says never kill|anything unless you're gonna eat it.
[ All ]|Eww!
I thinkwe'll just put it|outside, please.
He's my best friend, you know?
The key to survival here is you gotta|keep your face away from the camera.
That way they can use you|again and again.
- I've been in every mob scene.|- You're a pro.
All right, everyone!|Settle down!
- Settling!|- Try again.
And background action!
Action.
Watch this! Watch this!|Kiki, get me a drink.
[ Chittering ]
Cut!|This isn't working.
What's the problem|with the monkey?
Sorry. She was fine earlier.|Come here, Kiki. Come here.
Come here.
I don't understand.|She never does this.
Come here, Kiki!
She's just a bit nervous.|What do you want her to do?
- You ever work with animals?|- Yeah.
- Kinda.|- She's supposed to go to the table...
and take a soda|to the actor.
- Diet or regular?|- Whatever. Diet.
- Want a glass?|- She hasn't learned that.
- We're running late here.|- [ Whispering ]
Can we try one more time?|Ifthis doesn't work, we'll drop it.
Okay, back to one.|This is the real thing, everybody.
Concentrating. Roll!
- Picture's up!|- Speed. Marker.
- And background action!|- Action!
Watch this. Watch this!
Kiki, get me a drink.
Make it a diet one.
And a glass too!|Thankyou, mein liebchen.
Cut! Print!|Check the gate.
[Applause ]|Whoo!
[ Whispering ]|Book him.
Look, uh, I got a problem.|All my animals are on the jungle set,
and I can't keep coming|back and forth with the chimp.
So ifyou'll fill in forme,|I'll double whatyou're getting paid.
Will I still be on this picture?
Every day.|Kiki's an above-the-title player.
- You got a deal.|- [ Clapping]
You're looking at|the new monkey wrangler.
- Thanks foryour help, Diego.|- Dude, Mick!
Hey, hey, this is|a positive career move.
- Reckon?|- I'm telling you, you're gonna go far.
Ah! Don't be a stranger now.
Hell of a nice guy.
Can't act for shit,
but he'll probably wind up|with his own TV sitcom.
- [ Kids Chattering ]|- Mikey!
Wait just a minute, dear.
- See ya, Mike.|- Bye, Mikey.
I suppose your father's|picking you up again.
Naw, he's at work this week.
Oh. Bummer. Well, how are you|getting home then?
I've got a nanny|like all the other kids.
Oh! Which one's yours?
Overthere.|The big one.
- Your nanny?|- He's Uncle Jacko from back home.
- And is Uncle Jacko married?|- No, but he's looking.
Hi. Dorothy Mathis.|I'm Mikey's teacher.
G'day, Dorothy.|Call me Jacko.
G'day, Dorothy.|Call me Jacko.
Bloody marvelous.
LosAngeles, eh?
Funny name.
Los Angeles.
Yeah, it means, uh,|"Iost angels. "
It's ltalian.|Ah, there it is.
I told Sue I'd take you somewhere|really special for dinner.
You're gonna love this place.|Trust me.
Now, pick out what you want|offthe menu here...
and you yell it out|into that box.
Two minutes later,|you're scarfing it down...
without even|getting out of the car.
We have these drive-ins|back home in the cities,
but this is|where it all started.
So you can eat like a pig|and no one can see you.
Clever buggers,|these Yanks, eh?
Well, this is why L. A. is famous|all around the world--
for its fine cuisine.
[ Girl] Welcome to Wendy's.|Can I takeyour order?
Let me handle this.|Good evening, Wendy.
There will be four of us|dining in the car this evening.
So we're gonna need|four triple burgers with cheese...
andfourBiggie Fries.
So that's four Classic riples...
- Uh, wait a minute.|- and fourBiggie Fries?
Uh, here comes Stan and Harry.
Uh, they'll also be|dining with us tonight,
so we need...|six triple burgers with cheese...
and six Biggie Fries.
Okay. Six Classic riples|with cheese andsix Biggie Fries?
- You know what I'd really like to do?|- What's that?
Go right up on the roof|on one of those skyscrapers.
That's easy.|Just find one that's open.
S'truth. This is|higher than Ayers Rock.
Yeah. Of course, the buildings|in New York are a lot higher.
I was there, you know.
Old New York.
Or as we call it, the "Big Apple. "
Big Apple?|Why do you call it that?
Well, because|it's really big and, uh--
Yeah, but none ofthose buildings|are as dangerous as this.
What do you mean?
Well, they don't have|earthquakes in New York.
They have 'em here|all the time, right?
Yeah.
We could have one right now.
God!
What do you reckon|it'd do to this building?
Hey, I wouldn't wanna be up here|if she started shakin', eh?
[ Chuckling ]
I've seen enough.|You done?
Oh, yeah.|No point in hangin' round.
This quake-safe?
No worries.
Oh, mate, I need a drink|after all those 1, 286 stairs.
No worries, mate.
Didn't work.
Well, you gotta wait. There's hundreds|of cars going through...
and just us two trying to cross.
Yeah?|Now there's 20 of us, eh?
Yeah, but you can't do that.|It's illegal.
Well, I don't see any cops.
Yeah, but they have cameras|at all these intersections, see?
Ifyou do anything wrong, they take|your picture and send you a fine.
Yeah, but I ain't wearing|a number plate around my neck,
so how the hell are they|gonna know who I am, huh?
When you landed here,|you showed 'em your passport, right?
- Yeah.|- Got your picture in it, dopey.
Oh, yeah, right.
I wonder|how much they fine you.
It all depends on how many times|you push the button.
- This looks like us.|- Great. Texas bar. We're in.
This could be a bit offun.
These American cowboys|like a good barroom brawl.
- ## [Disco ]|- Howdy, boys. Step on in.
Howdy, ma'am.
- Ma'am.|- Howdy, cowboys.
# lt's raining men|Hallelujah #
Stone the bloody crows!
That must've been|one of those poofter bars.
Yup. Only I believe|the correct term is "gay homosexual. "
That's what they call|their shirtlifters over here.
The only woman there was|the cowgirl at the door.
## [ Rap ]
Give it up, punk,|or I'll blow you away.
- ## [Rap Continues]|- Uh, hang on. I can't hearyou.
## [Stops]
- That's better. Now how can I help you?|- Smart-ass cowboy, huh?
- Hand me overyour money, man!|- They ain't cowboys.
- They're fools dressed up!|- Fools got money too. [ Laughing ]
- Give it up or I'll bust a cap in your ass!|- Yeah, hand it over, bitch!
Bitch?
Son, you have any idea how quick|you have to be to catch a tigersnake?
I'm always getting mugged.|I must look rich.
It's one of them soft-top cars.|Cave in.
- [Punks Yelling]|- [ Horn Honks ]
- Ow!|- You know,
this must be why they call L. A.|the "City on Wheels. "
What do you mean?
They don't even get out|of their car to mug you.
- Hey!|- [ Groaning] Ow!
It's all your fault, homes!|You shouldn't have called him a bitch!
Should we call the cops?
No point. Over here,|they'd probably end up suing us.
Besides, it's not their fault.
It's the drugs.
I saw all about it|on that Geraldo Rivera.
He knows the streets.
Let's just get a cup of coffee|and go home.
Don't be too hasty|ordering coffee around here.
You might not be too happy|with the way they serve it.
Trust me.
And this is where a big crocodile|almost bit his leg right off.
- Whoa!|- Neat!
Well, to tell the truth, kids,|it wasn't really that big.
No more than 20 feet orso|anyway.
[Boy]|Whoa! That's huge!
- [ Chittering ]|- Yes, I know.
They just don't appreciate|a real artiste. I'd have bit him too.
I thought you were fabulous.
I don't care what that director said.|He's an idiot.
You were really good.
- You said blackwith one sugar, right?|- Oh, yes.
- Thanks, mate. Excellent.|- And...
I got us a little treat|for our friend here.
Oh, great.|That'll hit the spot.
- Black and one sugar.|- [ Slurps ]
She's a bit grumpy today.
Not happy with|the size ofher trailer.
She wants a big one like Virgil,|but I keep telling her,
"Virgil's a lion.|You're only a monkey. "
- [ Chittering ]|- Sorry.
"Chimpanzee. "
Say, have you thought|about changing agents?
Diego, you're talking to a chimp.|They don't speak English.
Neither did my first wife.
Neither did my first wife.
Keep moving, Dravos.
Don't be stupid!|Mind the painting!
[ Muttering ]
Just lean it carefully|against the wall for now.
- [ Thuds ]|- Carefully!
G'day, Phil.|What's happening, mate?
Hi, Mick.|The usual continuity nightmare.
Right.
- What's that mean?|- It means I have to make this set...
Iook exactly like it did|on location in Yugoslavia.
Yugoslavia. Is that where|all these paintings come from?
Yup. They had them|done there. Dumb.
Would've been cheaper here,|and more realistic.
Oh, so none ofthese are valuable.|They're just all copies.
Yup, and rather|poor ones at that.
And these huge, tacky frames?|For God sakes.
Don't they usually cart|the sets and the props...
from one country|to another and back again?
Maybe in a big-budget international|movie like Mission: lmpossible 3.
But I haven't seen Tom Cruise|hanging around the set, have you?
Tom Cruise.|What's he look like?
Like... Tom Cruise.
Jeez, Mick, were you|born in a cave?
Yeah!|How did you know that?
Never mind.
Jim, the Van Goghs|are down at the wrong end.
See, here they started with|the Gauguins, one above the other.
Let's get this right.|We gotta be done in here tonight.
They're shooting|in here tomorrow.
[ Sniffs ]
[Mick ] You see,|you can mix heroin into a plaster,
make it any shape you like.
So, when I see this guy go nuts 'cause|they bumped the lousy painting,
that's when I knew|where the drugs were hidden--
molded into the picture frames.
Pure heroin, or|as we call it, "smack. "
Jeez, Mick, you really do|think like a detective.
Yeah, well, it comes sort of|natural to me, you know?
- Hey, Mick.|- Ah.
That was the police lab.
Sorry. The frames arejust plaster.|There's no drugs.
Oh, bugger it.
I was sure|I cracked the case.
I don't know. Maybe they're not|smuggling anything.
Oh, no. They're sneaking around|with something.
I just haven't found it yet.
Look, I read about this fella,
he used to push|a wheelbarrow full of cow dung...
across the border every day.
"Manure for the garden, " he'd say.|Went on for months.
And the border guards knew|he was smuggling something,
so they'dstop him and rake through|that manure with a fine-tooth comb.
Neverfound a thing.
Turned out they were right.|He was smuggling something:
wheelbarrows.
Right under their noses.
See, it's there, and I'm just|not seeing it... yet. But I will.
Nah. I reckon he was right|the first time. It's drugs.
They wouldn't go to all|that trouble forwheelbarrows.
Cut! And print.
We'll cut when he throws,|so that'll work fine.
- All right!|- Well done, Paul.
[Assistant Director] Listen, everyone,|we do not burn down the castle now.
That will be|a second-unit shot tomorrow.
That means everyone goes home early|and has tomorrow off.
- Whoo! All right!|- Okay, see you all Friday!
First thing!
[ Man ] Andyou've actually seen|these paintings quite recently.
Yeah, today.
Well, then that makes it easy.|They're fakes.
You can tell that|from the photographs?
Well, normally, no.|But, you see, these Rembrandts...
and this, The Olive Field|by Van Gogh,
unfortunately no longer exist.
During the bombing|ofBelgrade by NA TO,
the National Art Museum of Serbia|took a direct hit,
burned to the ground along with|the originals of these paintings...
and possibly the finest collection|of old masters in Eastern Europe.
It was a tragedy|for the art world.
Ergo, these must be copies, fakes.
That, um, Belgrade,|is that in Yugoslavia?
- Yeah.|- Where these paintings come from.
What if it wasn't|an accidental bombing...
and someone removed|the paintings first?
Spoils ofwar?
Maybe I should take a look at these.|Could you take me to them?
That's probably impossible.
But if I could get one of them|and bring it to you and it was real,
that means the rest|are probably real, right?
You must call me the minute|you find one. I have to see them.
- No worries.|- Thankyou. Thankyou.
- Hey, who drew this?|- Pablo Picasso.
I'm a drinking man myself,|but I've never been that hammered.
This'll be a piece of cake.|I know this lot backwards.
- Wait in the car.|- Uh, Mick?
I was gonna say, "Be careful, "
but I guess that's kind of a dumb thing|to say to someone who hunts crocodiles.
No worries.
Of course the difference|is obvious here,
but on film,|it's a perfect match.
- Isn't it?|- All right, we have the paintings.
Now must we continue with|this stupid movie business bullshit?
You really don't get it, do you?
God is in the details.
These came into the country as|film props. Anyone wants to see them--
"Sorry. We burned them.
Want proof? Go see the movie. "
Dead end. Brilliant.
Carl, we need your help.
Carl, that painting should be covered.
I'll be with you in a moment.
- Then who the hell is that?|- [Milos] Stop him!
After him! Quickly!
Shoot low!|Don't hit the painting!
After him!|Seal off the lot!
- Quick! Hold this! Thanks.|- What?
He ran in here.|Dravos followed him.
Cover all the exits.|Go in and help Dravos flush him out.
[ Whispering ] Shh. I know, I know.|Mick said to wait here.
It's his bust, right?
I know. I was just looking.
How'd you get here anyway?|Who's looking after Mikey?
Miss Mathis,|his teacher from school.
I followed you in her car.
Oh. I'lljust keep you on hold.
Ah.
[ Screams ]
Keep you on hold. Ha!|I just come out with them.
- Who is this man? How does he--|- I think he's the monkey guy.
Mick, the guy that trains|the monkey. Same hat.
How would the monkey guy|know about the paintings?
Is he alone?|You better hope he's still alive.
Get in there.
[Man On Walkie-talkie. ]|We're entering stage four.
- We'll flush him your way.|- Rogerthat.
[Bell Ringing]
[ Laughs ]
[ Moos ]
- [ Farts ]|- Oh!
Shoot low.|We need him alive.
[ Whistles ]
- Watch out...|- [ Screaming ]
for the wall.
He's gone to the jungle set.
There's only one way|in and out ofthere.
- I'm on it.|- Coverthe gate till we get there.
[Leaves Rustling]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
High five.
[Man On Walkie-talkie ] Stan, copy.|Boss said don't go in there alone.
- Stan? Stan?|- Too late, mate.
Stan!
Oh, shit.
Did it, um--
I- It... missed, I think.
I hope.
Hi, Mick.
I know you're still here.
Why don't we stop|playing this silly game?
You can come out and...
join your friends.
I have no more patience for this!
[Mick]|Okay, you win. I'm comin'out.
Just don't make|any sudden moves.
You don't have to be so formal.|We're all friends.
You can... Ioweryour hands.
I can't really lower this one.
- And why is that?|- 'Cause iflput this arm down...
and break eye contact,
he might come down here|and tearyou apart.
- Who?|- Fella who lives in there.
Look. Up on the rock.
[ Growling ]
Areyou nuts?|Can't kill a lion with a. 38pistol.
- You'll just piss him off.|- [ Growling ]
Ifyou shoot anyone,|they better not bleed.
Lions go berserk|when they smell blood.
If I was you, I'd back up slowly|into that cage.
[ Gulps, Clears Throat ]
Uh, yeah.|Surely, that's a...
tame lion.
Yeah. You could be right.
[ Roaring ]
I shoot you. You bleed.
- I take my chances.|- But he's not your problem.
- It's his missus I'm worried about.|- [ Growling ]
I can't handle her.
She's got PMS, I think.|Can see it in her eyes.
Anyway, you do|what you have to do.
I'm getting in the cage...
before his mother-in-law|comes down.
- No! No!|- [ Roaring ]
- Open the door! Open the door now!|- Give me the gun.
You held a gun to my wife's head.
- Huh?|- That's unforgivable.
- I'm gonna help you lose some weight.|- How?
Virgil's gonna come down here and|bite a big chunk out ofyour fat ass.
- [ Whimpering ]|- Virgil, lunch!
- [ Roars ]|- Sit!
[ Roars ]
Ah.
Ifyou touch me, I will sueyou|for every centyou've got.
Ha! Well, that sounds fair.
Hey, that's about 40 bucks.
[ Laughs ]|It's a fair deal.
Bargain.
And how are you, miss?
- What the hell were you doing in here?|- Well, I had to.
My cell phone went dead,
and I had to come in here|to find a phone to call 911.
You're clever, Sue. I never|would've thought ofthat.
Yeah, well, that's because|she's a Dundee.
Or she ought to be.
Uh, Jacko, keep an eye on|the goons and, uh, blockyour ears.
- What?|- Blockyour ears. Private talk.
No worries, mate.
Uh, I have to tell you this.
I was just really scared|for the first time in my life.
Well, that's okay.|Most people are frightened of lions.
No, not the lions.|They're just hungry.
It's when I saw that goon|with a gun at your head.
That's when I realized|how much I, uh--
You know, um--
Will you marry me?
Well, you do rush into things,|don't you, Mick?
Are you sure it's not|just the romantic setting?
Local experts say the value|of the recovered art...
could run as high|as $300 million.
For the very latest, let's go live|to Marta Waller at the scene. Marta?
Thanks, Hal. Right now|the police are taking...
these priceless paintings|into protective custody.
The woman behind me talking to|the detective is Ms. Sue Charleton,
the Newsday reporter...
who led detectives to the cache|ofstolen masterpieces.
However, earlier tonight,
he did tell me he is, in fact,|a known expert in the art world.
Isn't that the guy who had|the skunk on the freeway?
- [ Man Whispers ] Hey, Hal!|- We'll have more as the story unfolds.
Right now|let's go to Malibu...
where last night's downpour|of almost a quarter inch of rain...
resulted in disastrous flooding|and massive mud slides...
along the Pacific Coast Highway.
[Man ]|Sue, do you accept this larrikin...
as your wedded husband?
- I do.|- Mick,
do you accept this lovely lady|as your wedded wife?
No worries.
Fair enough.|I now pronounce you...
husband and wife.
[ CheersAndApplause ]
- Good on ya, Mick.|- All right!
It's official now, mate.|You're Mick Dundee II.
- Cool.|- Now I guess we'll wait and see...
whetheryou turn out to be|another Crocodile Dundee...
or Michael Dundee,|newspaper tycoon.
Oh, that's a no-brainer, Dad.
I'm gonna be|Crocodile Dundee,
hunter and rich owner|of a big newspaper.
I didn't raise a dumbbell.
Put this on for the photos.
- What for?|- You look like a dork in that suit.
- No, I don't.|- You should look like Crocodile Dundee.
No, I think my crocodile|huntin' days are over.
From here on in, it's...|"Mick Dundee, Private Eye. "
Nah. I'm kiddin'.
[ Women Yelling ]
# I come from a land|down under #
# The beer does flow|and men chunder #
# Can'tyou hear|can'tyou hearthat thunder #
# You betterrun|You bettertake cover, yeah #
# raveling in|a fried-out combie #
# On a hippie trail|Head full ofzombie #
# I met a strange lady #
# She made me nervous #
# She took me in|and gave me breakfast #
# She said do you come|from a land down under #
# Where women glow|and men plunder #
# Can 't you hear|can 't you hear the thunder #
# You better run|You better take cover, yeah #
# Buying bread|from a man in Brussels #
# He was six foot four|and full ofmuscles #
# I said do you speak|my language, brother #
# Hejust smiled and gave me|a vegemite sandwich #
# He said I come from|a land down under #
# Where beer does flow|and men chunder #
# Can 't you hear|can 't you hear the thunder #
# You better run|You better take cover, yeah #
# Lying in a den in Bombay #
# With a slackjaw|and not a lot to say #
# I said to the man|Are you trying to tempt me #
# Because I come from|the land ofplenty #
CQ
Caccia alla volpe - After The Fox
Cactus Flower CD1
Cactus Flower CD2
Caddyshack
Cage The
Caine Mutiny Court Martial 1988
Caine Mutiny The
Caja 507 La
Calamity Jane
Calcium Kid The
Calender Girls
Callas toujours La 1958
Camilla
Camille Claudel
Campanadas a medianoche 1965 CD1
Campanadas a medianoche 1965 CD2
Candyman 2 Farewell to the Flesh
Cannonball 1976
Cant Buy Me Love
Cant Hardly Wait
Cant Stop The Music 23,976fps 1980
Cantando Dietro I Paraventi
Cape Fear (1991) CD1
Cape Fear (1991) CD2
Capitaine Conan - Bertrand Tavernier (1996)
Captain Pantoja And The Special Services 2000 CD1
Captain Pantoja And The Special Services 2000 CD2
Captain Ron
Captain Ron 1992
Captains Paradise The 1953
Capturing The Friedmans 2003
Car Wash 1976
Carabiniers Les (Jean-Luc Godard 1963)
Caramuru A Invencao Do Brasil
Caretaker The 1963
Caretaker The 1963 Commentary
Carmen (1984) CD1
Carmen (1984) CD2
Carne Tremula (1997)
Carne trmula
Carolina 2003
Cartouche
Cartouche (23.976)
Casa De Los Babys 2003
Casablanca CD1
Casablanca CD2
Casino (1995) CD1
Casino (1995) CD2
Cassandra Crossing CD1
Cassandra Crossing CD2
Casseta and Planeta - A Taza do Mundo ┬ Nossa - Feedback Overflow
Casshern
Casshern CD1
Casshern CD2
Cast Away
Cast a Giant Shadow
Castle in the Sky
Cat Ballou
Cat In The Hat The
Cat People Directors Cut
Cat on a hot tin roof
Catch-22
Catch Me If You Can
Cats Eye (Stephen Kings)
Cats Meow The CD1
Cats Meow The CD2
Cats and Dogs
Catwoman
Cellular 2004
Celluloid Closet
Celos (1999) - Jealousy
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Central do Brasil
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Cercle rouge Le 1970 CD2
Chaikovsky 1969 CD1
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Chain Reaction
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Champion CD2
Changing Lanes
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Charas
Charisma (K Kurosawa 1999)
Charisma (Karisuma)
Charlie - The Life And Art Of Charles Chaplin
Charlies Angels
Charlies Angels - Full Throttle
Chase The
Chasing Amy
Chasing Liberty
Chatos Land
Cheaper by dozen
Cheats
Cheats The 2002
Chelsea Girls 1966 CD1
Chelsea Girls 1966 CD2
Cheong Feng (1999) - Mission The
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Cheonnyeon Ho 2003 CD2
Cher - Live In Concert
Cherry Falls
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Chicago CD2
Chicken Run (2000)
Chihwaseon CD1
Chihwaseon CD2
Children Of Dune Part 1
Children Of Dune Part 2
Children Of Dune Part 3
Children of Heaven The
Children of a Lesser God
Children of the Damned
Childs Play 1988
Childs Play 2 1990
Childs Play 3
Chimes at Midnight
China Moon
China Strike Force 2000
Chineese Ghost Story A 3
Chinese Ghost Story
Chinese Odyssey A
Chinese Roulette
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Choose Me (1984)
Chori Chori 1956
Choristes Les
Choses Secretes
Christiane F
Christine CD1
Christine CD2
Christmas Carol A
Christmas Story A
Christmas Vacation (National Lampoons)
Chronicles of Riddick The - Dark Fury
Chunhyang 2000 CD1
Chunhyang 2000 CD2
Cialo
Cider House Rules The
Cinderella 2000
Cinderella Story A
Citizen Kane
Citizen Ruth
City By The Sea
City Hall
City Heat
City Of God 2003 CD1
City Of God 2003 CD2
City Of The Living Dead 1980
City of Lost Children The CD1
City of Lost Children The CD2
City of No Limits The (Antonio Hernandez 2002)
City on fire 1987
Civil Brand 2003
Clan Des Siciliens Le - Henri Verneuil 1969
Clash of the Titans CD1
Clash of the Titans CD2
Class Trip 1998
Classic The (Korean) CD1
Classic The (Korean) CD2
Clearing The
Cleo De 5 Ó 7
Cleopatra 1963 CD1
Cleopatra 1963 CD2
Cleopatra 1963 CD3
Cleopatra 1999 CD1
Cleopatra 1999 CD2
Cliffhanger (Collectors Edition)
Cliffhanger CD1
Cliffhanger CD2
Cloaca
Clockers CD1
Clockers CD2
Clockstoppers
Clockwork Orange A
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (The Collectors Edition)
Closet The
Clownhouse
Club Dread
Clue
Clueless
Coast Guard 2002 CD1
Coast Guard 2002 CD2
Cobra Verde CD1
Cobra Verde CD2
Coca-Cola Kid The 1985
Cock - A Broken Leghorn (1959)
Cock - The Foghorn Leghorn (1948)
Cockleshell Heroes The
Cocktail
Cold Comfort Farm 1995
Cold Mountain 2003 CD1
Cold Mountain 2003 CD2
Cold Mountain CD1
Cold Mountain CD2
Cold Mountain CD3
Collateral 2004
Collateral Damage
Collector The
Colors
Colour Of The Truth
Coma (1978)
Comandante (Oliver Stone 2003)
Come And See CD1
Come And See CD2
Commitments The
Como Agua Para Chocolate
Company Man
Company Of Wolves The CD1
Company Of Wolves The CD2
Company The CD1
Company The CD2
Con Air
Conan The Barbabian (uncut)
Conan the Barbarian
Conan the Destroyer
Confessions of Sorority Girls
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Connie and Carla
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Conspiracy Theory 1997
Control 2004
Conversation The CD1
Conversation The CD2
Cook The Thief His Wife And Her Lover The 1989
Cookies Fortune 1999
Cookout The
Cool Hand Luke 1967
Cool World
Cooler The
Cooley High
Cop Land
Corbeau Le
Corky Romano
Couch Trip The 1988
Counterfeit Traitor The 1962 CD1
Counterfeit Traitor The 1962 CD2
Countess Dracula (1970)
Country of my Skull
Cousin Bette
Cousins
Cover Girl (Charles Vidor+1944)
Cowboy (Delmer Daves 1958)
Coyote - Dont Give Up the Sheep (1953)
Coyote - Fast and Furry-ous (1949)
Coyote Ugly
Craddle 2 The Grave
Cranes Are Flying The (1957)
Crash
Cravan vs Cravan
Crawlspace
Crazy Beautiful
Crazy People 1990
Crazy in Alabama
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Crew The
Cries And Whispers (Bergman Ingmar)
Crime Scene Investigation 3x01 - Revenge Is Best Served Cold
Crime Scene Investigation 3x02 - The Accused Is Entitled
Crime Scene Investigation 3x03 - Let The Seller Beware
Crime Scene Investigation 3x04 - A Little Murder
Crime Scene Investigation 3x05 - Abra Cadaver
Crime Scene Investigation 3x06 - The Execution Of Catherine Willows
Crime Scene Investigation 3x07 - Fight Night
Crime Scene Investigation 3x08 - Snuff
Crime Scene Investigation 3x09 - Blood Lust
Crime Scene Investigation 3x10 - High And Low
Crime Scene Investigation 3x11 - Recipe For Murder
Crime of Padre Amaro The
Crimewave
Criminal Lovers (1999)
Crimson Pirate The
Crimson Rivers 2 - Angels Of The Apocalypse
Crimson Rivers 2 Angels of the Apocalypse
Crimson Tide
Criss Cross
Cristina Quer Casar
Critters 2 The Main Course 1988
Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
Cronos 1993
Crossroads
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Crow The
Crow The - City Of Angels 1996
Cruel Intentions 3
Crumb (1994)
Cuba
Cube2 Hypercube 2002
Cube Zero
Cure (Kiyoshi Kurosawa) CD1
Cure (Kiyoshi Kurosawa) CD2
Curse The
Custer of the west
Cut Runs Deep The 1998
Cutthroat Island (1995)