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Debut The

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This is the last of them.
Damn, that's a lot of books.
Sure you want to do this, Ben? l mean, l feel really guilty here.
Yeah, l'm going to get them back someday.
-Damn. Look at that, the first Gambit. -Yes. Classic.
Shit. Hulk 181? X-Men 94?
This is some collection you got.
-lt's the biggest l've ever bought. -You sold me most of them.
l guess you're right about that. So this is it?
Yeah. This puts me over the top. Thanks.
Well, here you go, kiddo.
Fuck!
-l could buy a nice car for that, Pop. -lt's called a savings account, Doug.
Thanks, Dave.
Listen, just don't forget us when you're rich and famous, all right?
-Sure, Dave. -See you tonight, Pop.
Congratulations.
You know how much damage you can do with that?
Yeah, about $6,000 worth.
Vegas, Ben! Rick'll drive. All on black.
-Hey, what's up? -Hey, Chris.
Okay, hang on a second.
-Hey, Ben. -Hey, Jennifer. What's that?
This? Nothing. lt's just my final project.
-For Harper's class? -Yeah.
Can l see it?
-lt's good. -Stop it.
No, really.
Your use of the light and the shading.... lt's beautiful.
Really?
Hold on.
-Got to go. -Yeah, l can tell.
You're going to be at Sheldon's party, right?
-Yeah, of course. -Good.
l'll see you there.
Dude, she is on your nuts like a squirrel.
-When is Sheldon's party? -Tomorrow, why?
Tomorrow night? My sister's birthday's tomorrow night.
Come on, help me out. You want cake and ice cream...
or 10 kegs with Jennifer Conrad in a miniskirt?
Shit!
You're going to Sheldon's, end of story.
Doug, my family's been planning this a long time.
My uncle shelled out much money, l got family flying in.
-You want me to skip it? -Yeah, why not?
What is this?
-lt's for you, what do you think? -For real?
lt's just something to mark the occasion.
-You like it? -Yes. l need this.
Go ahead, open it.
Rick's idea?
-Where is he? -Detention. Again.
He'll be here.
Thanks for the ride.
No, wait up, man. l got to take a leak.
-Why didn't you go at the mall? -l didn't have to go then.
-Can't you wait? -Dude, l'm going to explode, man.
What?
-All right. Come on, just hurry up. -All right, fine.
-All right. Come on, just hurry up. -All right, fine.
What's going on? Sounds like a party.
Don't you have something to do?
-So this is the Mercado house. -Damn, dude, what's that smell?
Look, l'll be back in one second.
Making me hungry again.
Hoy, the next doctor of the Mercado family.
Where have you been, Ruben?
Mom, can we turn on the fan? The house smells.
-Bro, what are you doing? -Check this out.
Hi. ls that wicked or what?
Dong, dong, dong.
Hoy, you know what time it is?
Hanging around with your friends again, wasting time.
Get clean. Help your mother with the food.
Yeah, whatever.
Hi.
-Hi there. -And who is this?
Friends from school. They had to use the bathroom. Guys, let's go.
What are your names? l've never seen you before.
This is Doug and this is Rick.
-Hi. -Hi.
-So you go to school with Ben? -We're really good friends.
Then you should come by more often. We never get to see Ben's friends.
Ben never invites us, that's why.
Are you guys hungry? We have plenty to eat.
No, Mom, they just ate. Guys, come on, let's go.
Come on, boys. Get some food.
You guys must get some really big portions here, dude.
Hoy, Ruben, don't be rude.
-We have time for a bite. -Give them something to take.
Don't your parents feed you?
Where do l get one of those naked barrel dudes?
-Try Wal-Mart. Bye. -Wait!
-Can we take a break now? -No.
You got to put your hand up like this.
Okay, four counts and then turn, guys.
Hey, Roland. Come on, join in.
For old time's sake.
Ruben, what are you doing?
-Don't you ever knock? -What?
Pop, do you mind? l'm trying to get some work done.
You lazy child.
l told you half an hour ago to help your mother with the food.
l'll be there in a minute, Pop.
Everybody's working so hard for your sister's party...
and you go gallivanting around--
l wasn't gallivanting. l was working.
God damn it, are you listening to me?
Stop it with those stupid pictures of yours!
Fuck this shit.
What?
Let go! God!
-You're wrecking it. Let go! -Give me that!
-What are you doing? -Give me that.
Everybody can hear you, you know?
Goddamn disrespectful child!
Every time like this, Ben.
Ever since he was a little boy you've spoiled him.
Enjoyed the show last night.
Could you have chilled for just one night?
Listen, l know that you think all this is stupid...
but you could've avoided that whole thing with Pop if you'd just helped out a little.
Why don't you just not go today?
Maybe l won't.
All l'll see is some punks giving me attitude...
and aunties with orange hair, bugging me to see if l got a girlfriend or not.
l don't need that shit.
l can't wait for you to leave for UCLA 'cause l'm sick of your stupid shit.
-l'm going to CalArts. -Yeah, and then you woke up.
l'm serious.
l went down there last Friday and l paid off my first year's tuition.
-You don't have that kind of money. -l don't now.
l dumped all my savings into it and l even sold most of my comics.
You did it?
l am penniless, but l am enrolled.
Don't worry anymore, Roland. Everything is ready.
lt's going to be okay.
How is he anyway?
Lenny said he's jet-lagging badly.
His flight came in at four this morning.
Relax.
He'll probably just make fun of your...
You're so serious!
Just kidding.
l'm sure he'll be so thrilled just to see Rose and Ben.
And then he will forget everything.
You only make it worse if you keep worrying.
Yeah. You look good.
l look old.
Come on, Ben. Come on.
-l'm going to take you out. -No. Here l come.
-That's how you make a basket. -Come on, you've got to come for the ball.
-You know who l am, right? -l know who you are.
Mom should have called me Hiroshima, Ben.
You know why? 'Cause l'm the bomb.
Yes! l am the champion.
l'm going to take this ball away from you.
Hoy, what are you two doing out here?
You're going to be late.
Sorry, tita, we're almost done.
-Thank you very much. -No fair. l wasn't paying attention.
Tough shit. l do believe you owe me the car this weekend.
So are you down for my party, or what?
Yeah, all right.
Come inside now. You're going to get too dark.
Lenny, what are you doing? Go.
Thank you, Florie.
Hi!
Rosemary, happy birthday.
You look so beautiful!
-Thank you. -Do you remember my husband, George?
Hello. Happy Birthday. Mabuhay.
Thanks.
Who is this?
Alice, you remember Ben, my youngest.
You're so guapo, guapo, naman.
You're so handsome.
-Do you have a girlfriend already? -No.
Aren't you going to give me a kiss?
You're going to dance with me later, okay?
-Promise? -Yeah.
-Anything. -Talaga.
Ben, you remember my son, your old friend, Augusto?
He brought his friends. l hope you don't mind.
lt's okay, Alice.
-Say hello to your old playmate. -Ma!
Say hi, you rude boy.
-What's up? -Gusto.
These kids. So strange.
''What's up.''
She thinks she's so great.
Just because she hooked a white guy.
You know, Gina tells me he's impotent.
lmpotent?
Ben, your grandfather.
Kids, your Lolo Carlos.
Hello, hello.
My goodness.
Look at you two kids.
My grandchildren are so big already!
Bless, Lolo.
Thank you so much for coming to my birthday party.
You speak very good Tagalog, Rosemary.
Thank you very much, grandfather.
Who is this giant here?
Well... this one's grown up already.
Too grown up to bless his old grandfather, right?
Pa, this is Gina.
Bless, Papa.
How are you, my dear?
Fine, Papa. We're so happy that you are here.
Hello, Pa.
Looks like you've gained some weight.
Just a little bit.
Pop, you might want to sit down.
Thank you. Hoy, Roland. Ben.
l want to take your picture with Lolo Carlos.
Come on, let's go.
Okay.
Closer.
Now, smile.
Come on, you guys look like statues. Smile.
-That's a good one. -Give it to me, Mom.
Ben is very handsome.
l bet there are a lot of girls chasing after you, right?
What's this?
Doesn't know how to bless nor understand Tagalog?
These kids today don't have the discipline to learn Tagalog. Look at Jun.
All he does is gallivanting around with his friends and go disco-disco.
Yeah, see l told you. Mom's a player-hater.
l hear it's a very good hospital.
When Florie started at the hospital, there were hardly any...
now almost half the hospital's nursing staff is Oriental.
You really should say Asian. Oriental is a very touchy word today.
The proper term to use is ''Asian'' when you're referring to people from the Far East.
-l didn't know that. How interesting. -Not so small, honey.
Anyway, now we have Orientals, Filipinos, Mexicans, Blacks--
lt's funny though, because Filipinos aren't actually considered...
a part of the Asian race, they're part of the Malay race.
You're so smart, honey.
So, Ruben, when did you decide...
So, Ruben, when did you decide...
to follow your Tito Lenny's footsteps and become a doctor?
Yeah, when was this, Ben?
l always knew Ben would get into medicine.
l remember when he was little...
he'd come home with injured birds and nurse them back to health.
This scholarship to UCLA is a big accomplishment, Ben.
Remember, Pa, l told you about it.
Ben just received a prestigious scholarship to go to college.
Very good. You're a hard worker, Ruben.
You know, Papa, he has also a full-time job.
-Jun should learn to be more like him. -Sorry, l'm too busy going disco-disco.
What is this job?
l work at a bookstore after school and weekends.
-Doesn't that interfere with your studies? -No, it's cool.
l mean, l got to make money somehow, right?
Didn't you want to go to some art program before?
-Yeah. -No, not anymore.
We decided that wasn't a good route for him.
By the way, Ben, l talked to this colleague of mine.
He's willing to have you at the front desk of the pediatric ward over the summer.
Another doctor will make the family very proud.
Excuse me.
-So you trying to avoid me now? -Gusto, look.
Been blowing up your pager every day. What's up?
You know what? Here.
Take your pager and stop bothering me!
-So it's going to be like that now. -You're the one who fucked up!
So don't you even turn this shit around on me!
-Come on, baby, take it. -l don't want it.
Take it. You know how much l paid for this thing.
Gusto, come on now, l don't want that thing.
-Come on, baby, take it. -l said l don't want it!
-Fuck you, then! -God damn it, Gusto!
Excuse me.
My sister's looking for you.
Yeah, right.
She needs the schedule.
Yeah.
l got to go.
-What was that all about? -You're just dogs, all of you!
Pleased to meet you also.
l'm sorry.
l didn't mean that.
Hi, l'm Annabelle.
Yeah, l've seen you hanging out with Rose. l'm Ben.
l know. Your sister's told me a lot about you.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Anyway, thanks for helping me out there.
l'd better go get that schedule to Rose.
l'll see you later.
l'm not some trophy you can just go parading around in front of your family.
What are you talking about?
-We're just proud of you, that's all. -Be proud of someone else.
l'm not going to be a doctor.
l don't believe this hardheaded child.
-Ruben, we've settled this already. -We haven't settled anything.
That cartoon school of yours is a waste of time and money.
No. Med school is a waste of time and money.
Now, don't answer back!
l'm not going to spend $25,000 a year...
so you can just go on drawing those stupid pictures of yours.
Who asked you to?
You think you're so smart?
-Spoiled, that's what you are. -Spoiled? Me?
Yes, you're spoiled! l've given you everything.
You don't know what it's like not to have all these things.
-Yeah, so? -So l do!
l gave up my life making sure you don't go through what l did.
l'm not going to let you throw that away.
What do you think you're going to do in the real world...
with a degree in cartoons? Tell me.
l'm going to get the hell away from you. That's what.
Thank you for coming, tito.
l wasn't sure if you were going to be able to make it...
but l'm glad you could come.
And you guys got me a present, too? Thank you both.
Will you excuse me for just one second? Thank you.
l'll be right in front of the gym.
No, l will not flake.
Just pick me up, all right? Yeah, later.
-What are you doing? -What's it look like?
So you're just going to leave?
-Look, l got better things to do. -That's your family in there, Ben.
You actually think you're better than all of us?
Just 'cause you hang out with white boys and want to study art...
-you think you're the shit, am l right? -So what?
Wake up, little brother.
'Cause you know what, you're just as brown as the rest of us.
...and see what's up, okay?
See, l told you to just have the party at Chuck E. Cheese....
There you are, Papa, l've been looking all over for you.
Tito Dante's not back yet.
He's just on Filipino time.
Bet you he'll say he lost his keys again.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Sure.
Don't tell your mom.
These kids of today, they've got nicer cars than me.
You know, Rose...
l'm not like your Tito Lenny...
-or most of the parents out there. -Yeah?
You got to go to work to go to school.
Can't even afford to buy you a decent car.
Papa, you know that doesn't matter to me.
Can't even afford a nice debut for you.
l didn't even want a debutante ball. This party's more than enough.
l wish your lola was alive.
She'd be so proud...
to have a granddaughter as beautiful as you.
l'm sorry l'm late. l misplaced my keys.
Let's do this!
-Come on, are you cool? You ready? -You go!
Hello and good evening.
My name is Annabelle Manalo, and I'm a friend of Rose's.
Coming up next, we have a special performance by the birthday girl...
and some of our friends.
We've been working on this for a couple of months now...
and I think that we came up with something really nice.
So, please take a seat because you definitely do not want to miss this.
The hell, dude!
What's this?
lt's my sister's birthday-dance thing.
lt looks like those Mexican dances my cousins do.
-Who's the belle in the purple? -That's my sister.
Really?
She's pretty cute.
Are we going?
Wait up a bit. Let's check this out.
How come you weren't out there? That shit was cool.
Wait, let me guess. You had to work.
Dude works more than a Jamaican and shit.
-l didn't know you two were here. -Hi, Mrs. Mercado.
We just.... We came to pick up....
We came to eat.
That's good. You'll have the chance to taste my cooking. Come.
You guys are so skinny. Don't your parents feed you?
Well, you know, that's....
This is some good stuff.
This is tasty feed, especially this chocolate meat stuff.
No wonder you got those big forks and spoons.
-Told you he's here. -Yo, Ben. Why you chilling over here?
l'm just observing how l don't want to be when l get older.
Congratulations on the dance.
l really liked the way you did the....
l mean, l didn't know you were in charge.
That wasn't all me. Your sister helped a lot, too. So....
This is my friend, Doug. This is Rick. This is Ed, Jun, and Annabelle.
We're all hanging outside until the real music gets back on.
-Why don't you guys come on out? -Cool.
l don't know. l think we got to go soon.
Go? But the party's just starting.
l know. But we got another party to go to, right, guys?
-We still got time. -Yeah.
l know, but we don't know anybody.
-Come on, now. -lt's just us guys from the party.
And Rose's crew from school. What are you talking about?
Come on, Ben. Just hang out for a while. lt'll be fun.
What's up, man?
You know, smoking that shit's gonna kill you.
Fuck it, it's all good.
Oh, my God! Jay, what's up?
ls something wrong?
No. lt's nothing.
-So, at Alisha's party.... -Yeah.
Gusto, show them what you got, man.
Check this out, yo.
l got it from that crazy nigga, Harvey.
What is it, a porty-pibe?
A porty-pibe?
Bitch, this a 9 mm. You see this shit?
Shit's tight, yo.
Let me see.
What the fuck! l'm not done with this shit, you stupid fuck.
-Fucker, let go. -Give me that shit!
Bitches bust a cap in yourself.
Bro! Who's got next?
You guys, check it out! Looks like something's going on over there.
Oh, my God! What is this?
Your brother is hella getting his mack on.
We were real tight. Used to hang out all the time.
lt changed when high school started.
Gusto wanted me to join a gang called Barracuda or something.
Barkada. lt's Tagalog. lt means the people you hang out with.
Like your friends.
They didn't seem too friendly to me.
-You speak Tagalog? -''Oh, oh, pluently.''
That's wild.
Anyway, he wanted me to join.
And l don't know about you...
but beating somebody up because they look at you funny isn't my thing.
So he gave me this big guilt trip and then we ended up not talking anymore.
And then his dad died and he and his mom moved away.
Yeah, he never talks about his father.
That's funny how you and Augusto are together.
Actually, we're not really together anymore.
l mean, your sister finally made me realize...
that he is just a two-timing player...
and he's just never going to change.
-Yeah. -A player.
-That guy over there? -Yeah. That guy over there.
Get out of here! When we were kids, the only playing he did...
was with his Nintendo.
l remember when we first met, he busted out with all the moves.
l still remember the first thing he ever said to me:
''Excuse me, but do you know where l can find the nearest baker?
'''Cause l want to find a cutie-pie just like you.''
You think that's funny?
My friend Rick, he likes to flirt by comparing hand sizes.
Really? Like how?
''Wow! Your hands are really small.''
-Wow! Really? -Yeah, look.
And you wait for the perfect moment...
when you're looking into each other's eyes. And then....
That was smooth.
Try not to touch anything.
So, check it out, man.
l installed a brand-new cam, bored-out throttle body....
lt's got 25 more horses right here.
Shit's got crazy pull, baby.
-You squeezing? -You mean nitrous?
Fuck. No, man, this is straight throttle.
-l hear you. -Who did this for you?
My boys over at Flux Motoring hooked me up.
Hey, man, how much did this cost with the bodywork and all?
-About $6,000. -$6,000.
lt's cool, though. 'Cause the parents paid for all of it.
-You know how we do it. -l can't believe you guys.
You're just two more Filipinos selling out to The Man.
-What? -Oh, no.
You're just another brown brother and sister...
playing into the hands of the car conspiracy.
-What the fuck are you talking about? -Car conspiracy?
The conspiracy is a plan by The Man to distract us from the problems...
of our brown brothers and sisters around the world.
They're happy we people of color are wasting our time...
changing our mufflers and lowering our cars.
They don't want us to learn about the war the Philippines had with the U.S.
Or how Mexican and Filipino-Americans fought side by side to unionize farm labor.
Yes, it's true. You guys were just too busy...
adjusting your carburetors and intake valves.
l know. What about back rubs?
-Oh, my God. That is so old. -Yeah, but it's a classic.
Here. You must be really tired from all that choreography.
Okay.
Give me that.
Yo, point game. Hit me on the wing, baby.
Gusto, look at that shit. Bitch-ass punk got some balls.
Motherfucker.
Boy wants a foot up in his ass. We should rush up his shit right now.
Why? He's just talking to her.
Nestor, that ain't no talk action.
You need to claim that bitch back like a motherfucking caveman and shit.
They don't want you to know about the Filipino veterans...
who fought for America against the Japanese and never received any benefits.
These same Japanese that slaughtered thousands of our people...
during World War ll, and are now building these cars you're driving.
Why do you want to make your car go faster, anyways?
You think you're gonna compete in the Daytona 500?
When have you ever seen a Filipino in the Daytona 500?
-Never. -Never.
And you never will. You know why?
'Cause you're brown.
-That's deep. -Wow!
What!
Show them what's up. Who got next?
lf you weren't so pretty, we'd let you ball with us.
Golly, Edwin, you're so thoughtful.
-Kuya, l can't get anyone. -Damn.
Yo, Ben, we need a third.
Come on! Be just like old times. Remember?
Yo, can we get some real ballers up in here?
Looks like someone doesn't want to get taken to court.
Yo, this your goddamn move, Ben?
Come on!
Yo, flagrant foul. What the hell was that?
-You got a problem with that, nigga? -Yes, l do, pinoy.
-Let's go. Let's play ball. -Preppy-ass motherfucker.
Yo, it's jungle ball. We'll take them out on the court.
-Wow! Weren't you impressed? -Yeah, very.
-Yo, Ben, don't take that shit. -Yeah, Ben.
Win it for Annabelle.
Dude, chill out.
Go! Take it up!
That's my brother!
-What's the score? -Game point. Six-six.
Come on, you guys, come on!
Come on, pussy.
Get off me!
-Let's go, punk. -ls that all you can say?
Go, bitch.
Don't even think you could bust on me, white boy.
Yeah, nigga, what?
This is my world. Bow down, bitch.
Yeah, you know who daddy is. Suck on these, bitch.
Don't worry about it, guys. Come on.
Let's go have a good time. Come on.
Go back and dance.
Damn, we could've schooled those punks.
l can't believe you lost that handle.
Man, don't listen to him.
lt's a little-known fact that pound for pound...
Filipinos are the best basketball players in the world.
-Yeah, we're all 5' 6''. -So what?
Look at Mugsy Bogues. He's Filipino. He just doesn't know it.
That nose of his is straight up Mountain Province.
Yeah, brother's from the motherland.
That was tight. You guys played a great game.
Thanks, man.
l think we got to get going.
-Serious? -Yeah, we got to get to the other party.
Check you guys later.
-lt was nice meeting you. -Same here.
-And happy birthday. -Thanks. l'll see you guys soon, okay?
l'll see you inside, Ben.
Yeah. l'll be there in a minute.
-Dude, man, are you all right? -Relax, man.
You'll forget the whole thing when we get to Sheldon's.
You still want to go, right?
Bro, if you want, we can wait. lt's up to you.
Let's go get fucked up.
Get your arm off me.
-lt looks like that chump can't hang. -Now what is wrong with you?
Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time?
-Baby, come on, why are you tripping? -l'm not your babe, okay?
Just get the hell away from me. Stupid.
After we get a couple of beers in you, you'll be all good.
We've been waiting for this all week.
He'd better be out here, Ed.
l got my brother's fake lD, man.
-Let's run by the liquor store. -Right on.
Dude, let's get some Boone's.
Yeah, man, that shit fucks you up.
Boone's Farm, baby. Yeah.
All right!
All right!
What's up, boys?
Thank you.
Fuck these lame questions. Let's get to the juicy stuff.
-What would that be? -You know. Here, l'll start you off.
''l never had sex.''
Come on now, who's green?
l better not be the only one drinking around here.
All right, then.
How about, ''l never masturbated.''
Come on.
That's bullshit. l know all of you do it.
-l don't. -Yeah, right.
Really, guys?
-Come on, Doug. -Can't lie, bro.
-Come on now. -Okay.
Sorry, dude, we were just kidding.
Fuck you, man.
ls it an everyday thing for you? Baywatch Nights, right?
Doug, no more handshakes for you.
-Let me see those hairs on your palms. -Fuck you guys!
-Okay, next question. -Okay.
l got a nasty one for the girls.
How about, ''l never swallow''?
Yes, ma'am.
-Susie, got any plans for tomorrow night? -Fuck you, dweeb.
-l'm free after 7:00. -l'll take the afternoon.
All right, then. l've got one for you.
''l never...ate a dog.''
l'm sorry.
''l never...
''ate a cat!''
-That's not cool. -All those Orientals do it.
-Susie, come on. That's mean. -Yeah. Ben's not like that.
You should mellow on that stuff.
-What are you, my daddy? -Susie, come on.
-Come on. Can l try that? -No, you can't.
Let me hold that for you.
Let go.
Fuck! Look what you did.
Look at me. l'm soaked, you fucking chink.
l'm not Chinese.
-Come on, Susie, let's go. -Shit.
You okay?
Man, we should have never come here. Fucking Rick.
''Dude, it's gonna be a rager!''
Rager.
How many people you know still use that word?
Forget it, Ben. She was all fucked up.
She didn't know what she was saying.
Yeah, she did.
So, you up for some cake and ice cream?
Yeah.
Happy birthday to you
-So, what do you think? -This is too sweet.
On this day for you
We want to celebrate on your day
You know, Dan, l think it's time for us to hear a song.
Happy birthday
You knew that they were gonna do this, didn't you?
Rose, they were practicing, at your house. Hello?
-Happy Birthday, Rose. -May all your wishes come true.
We love you.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Up next, we have a special treat for all of you.
The father of the birthday girl is gonna sing a song for all of us.
Accompanying Roland are his old band mates from the Philippines.
So, everyone, take your seats...
'cause you're not gonna want to miss this.
Hi, everyone.
It's been a long time since I've done this...
so I hope you'll bear with me.
This song goes out for the two loveliest women in my life.;
My wife, Gina...
and my daughter, Rose.
This is too much, Mom.
He looks nervous up there.
Your dad can sing.
Pretty cool.
That's so great.
l don't know what the hell he said, but your dad's the bomb.
Ben, do all Filipinos party like this?
Yeah, make us Mexicans look Amish and shit.
So, whatever happened to his band?
Well, you know how it is in that business.
Very difficult, same as here.
But then, some more important things came up.
When Ben's mom and dad had him, he gave it up...
and he brought them all here to the United States.
Thank you.
So, is there anybody else out there with a dedication for Rose?
I guess that's it.
-That was so cute. -Oh, my God, l'm so embarrassed.
Yo, the bitch is back.
Motherfucker.
Would you please pass the vinegar?
Would you please pass the vinegar?
Hi.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Ben, Rose's brother...
and I don't have any long speeches prepared or anything.
I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Rose.
I really am sorry for not being there for you these past couple of months.
I mean, you're the coolest sis a guy could have...
and you deserve better.
That's all.
Happy birthday, Rose.
Guys, right about now, it's time to set things off.
Representing on the ones and twos, my homeboy, DJ E-Man...
and I'm Icy Ice on the M-I-C.
Let's see you all grab a partner and dance.
He's cute? l can't believe you said that.
Are we going to go groove, girls? Come on.
You guys can go ahead, l'm going to chill for a little.
Come on, Anna. Why don't you go ask Ben to dance with you?
-A sketch? -She'll dig it.
Yeah, right, with Gusto here?
Hello, aren't you, like, not with him anymore?
Rose, he might get mad.
Mad? Excuse me, remember what he's done to you? He doesn't own you.
Ben, come over here. Come here.
Hey, bro. Huge.
l think Annabelle wants you to ask her to dance.
-Come here. -What are you doing?
What are you looking at me for? Go.
-Come on. -Come on, now.
-Go. -Come on.
No, come here. Really quick. l want to--
Come on, Ben. Let's dance.
Dork.
Party people, I don't see enough empty seats out there.
Don't be shy. Girls, grab a guy. Guys, grab a girl.
Let's get this party started right.
Yeah, I told you I would get you hyped.
DJ E-Man, master turntablist on the wheels of steel, cut it up one time.
No wait, this is the jam. Come on, girls, routine?
Let's do this, okay?
What's up with this, man?
-What's up with that? -What's up?
DJ, looks like we got a battle brewing here. Fellas, you gonna take that?
Let's show these ladies it's a man's world.
l don't think so.
Party people, that looked like a tie to me.
Yo, E-Man, break us off with another beat.
Come on, go do it.
-Come on, Ruben. -All right.
-Hi. -Hey, what's up?
-Didn't know you were into older women? -l know, when you got it, you got it.
Can l cut in?
You know how to cha-cha?
No, but l can learn.
Of course, he's a Mercado.
Okay.
We go, one, two, cha, cha, cha...
three, four, cha, cha, cha.... One, two....
Okay, cha, cha, cha.
Now, swing the hips a little.
Yeah, like that.
There you go. You got it.
-l do. -Yes, you do.
That was nice. Let me try that.
See, if you're Filipino, you can cha-cha. lt is in the blood.
There's so many people, l didn't know who l was related to.
That's the thing about these parties, sometimes...
you just don't know who is family.
Wait, we're not related, are we?
No. Definitely not.
-Definitely? -Definitely.
Good. Wait up.
-l have something for you. -Really, what?
What is this?
-What's up, nigga? -Brake yourself, fool.
You got it hard for my girl, punk?
-Gusto, don't. -Shut up, ho!
You think you could replace me with this bitch-ass punk?
-Bitch! Why you mad-dogging me? -l don't know what you mean.
Just stop.
-Don't play gump on us! -l don't want trouble.
-Fuck you, white boy! -l'm not a white boy!
Oh, yeah? Who do you roll with that ain't white?
You see? You always been a fucking sellout.
Come on, pussy. See what you got.
Fucking white boy.
Fucking coconut.
Shit!
-Stop! -Fuck him up.
Fuck!
-Fuck. Get him, G. -That's right, bitch.
Come on, get up, bitch!
Get the fuck up, G, come on!
What are you doing?
Fuck you! Yo, give me back my shit!
-Who do you think you are? -Fuck you!
Bringing inside a gun? You planning to use it?
Oh, my God. Where'd you get that?
Your son brought a gun to our party.
-Jesus Christ! -What are you talking about?
What're you doing with it?
-l got it from your boy. -You're lying! Shut up, it's not his gun!
-He could have killed someone with this. -lt's his hooligan friends' gun.
-Fuck you! -Now come on, Alice.
lt's his friend's gun! Look, he's such a good boy.
-Will you stop being so naive? -Shut the fuck up!
Don't you ever talk to her like that again, you fucking hear me?
Augusto, stop!
Stop it now! Don't disrespect your father.
Ma!
What are you doing talking like that? Such a rude boy.
You make me so ashamed!
l can't believe how hard-headed you are!
You don't think!
What's in that head of yours?
So irresponsible!
And how could you invite those kind of people?
Letting hoodlums like that in here!
Almost got my grandson killed!
Pa, that's enough.
Mind your own business!
Those kids' parents are friends of ours.
l didn't expect this to happen--
You did not expect because you didn't think!
What kind of a parent are you anyway?
lf you weren't so busy...
...gallivanting around on that stage like a big shot...
...this wouldn't have happened.
Don't you have any self-respect?
You're an embarrassment to this family!
lf only you listened to what l was telling you over and over again...
...you could have been somebody.
What's this foolishness brought to you?
Nothing!
So what are you now?
A postman!
Delivering people's mail.
Can't even afford a proper debutante ball!
Pa, that's enough.
YOU SHUT UP!
Pa, you promised you wouldn't do this!
l never should have invited you here!
l can't believe your bitch ass just stood there.
At least l got my kicks in.
But it wouldn't be pair.
What did you say?
lt wouldn't be pair to jump in.
Pear? What the fuck does fruit have to do with this?
l can't believe you're fucking related to me.
You've been here two years, and you act like you went through customs yesterday.
You tired-ass FOBs come to this country and make the rest of us look stupid.
Stop calling me a POB.
What are you going to do about it, you fresh-off-the-boat motherfucker?
And did you see the look on Ben's face? Dude was about to go Cunanan.
l've never seen Ben go ape-shit like that before.
What about his pops? Now that was some loco shit.
Wild.
-Hey, guys. -Badass himself.
Fuck, man.
-Are you all right? -Are you sure?
-Can l get you anything? -No, it's okay.
What the fuck happened, man?
l don't know. Everything happened so fast, l just got pissed off.
Wow!
Next time l see that G-thing, l'm gonna drop-kick his fucking ass.
Yeah, right, Chuck Norris.
Damn, if l knew he was carrying, l'd bone out Carl Lewis style.
-You're sure you're okay, man? -Yeah, just sore, that's all.
Yeah, Ben's a tough motherfucker.
Look who's here.
-Hey, guys, Anna's got to go. -Yeah, l still got that curfew.
Later, Anna. Get some sleep?
Right, for a change.
So l guess that's our cue to roll out of here, too.
Yeah.
-Bro, you will be all right? -Definitely.
We got to hang out with your cousin more often.
This dude is deep.
Yo, man, l'm always down to hang out with my brown brothers.
l'll catch you guys on Monday.
Yeah, and don't forget, dude, you got to hook me up with one of those barrel men.
Yeah, man. Me, too.
And l want one of those big giant forks and spoons, too. All right, bro?
All right. Peace.
-Call me tomorrow, okay, girlfriend? -Yeah, definitely.
-See you inside, Ben. -Yeah, we're going to go clean up.
You know, it's a pretty dangerous area around here.
May l walk you?
Yeah, sure.
So, you've had quite a night.
-Yeah, it was fun while it lasted, huh? -Yeah, it was.
-l'm sorry it ended up like this. -Like it's your fault?
l mean, at least l learned how to cha-cha.
l never got a chance to thank you for that drawing you did.
-That was really sweet of you. -lt's no biggie.
Damn, l'm still tripping on how you just clocked Gusto.
l have never seen anybody do that before.
l don't know, l mean, it felt good at the time.
Come to think of it, l don't think Gusto's ever been to a party he didn't ruin.
l feel like an idiot, l should have just walked away.
That was classic Gusto for you.
Always talking shit, looking for an excuse to act all hard.
Actually, l was just thinking that maybe Augusto's right.
Right about what?
That l'm a sellout. A coconut.
Yeah, right, like he should talk. When we first started going out...
the boy used to braid his hair into cornrows, so....
-You think that's bad? -That's pretty bad.
-You should've seen me in junior high. -Why?
l used to sleep with a clothespin on my nose to make it more pointed.
l don't know. l guess l wanted to look more like Jason Priestley or something.
Come on now, you have a cute nose.
See, flat noses are nice because they don't get all smashed up...
when you try to kiss somebody.
You know what l think? l think you need a back rub right about now.
l mean, come on, it's been a long day.
Oh, really?
Now, are you sure your hands are big enough?
l think they'll do.
Your sister has my phone number.
Call me...
and let me know how you're doing?
Sure.
You gave Sinatra a run for his money last night.
Tito Lenny was telling us about your singing days.
l was very young then.
l wasn't planning on telling you this so soon, but...
l withdrew all my savings, paid off my first year's tuition at CalArts.
l'm not taking that scholarship to UCLA.
Aren't you going to yell at me now, or something?
All your savings.
Yeah. lt took that.
Even with the loan l got from the school.
So much money, Ruben.
For a hobby.
This is my portfolio.
CalArts accepted me on this.
l was just working on this.
l got to get ready for church.
l'll talk to your mother about this...
CalArts thing.
What are you doing? We'll be late. Let's go.
DC Sniper 23 Days of Fear
D A R Y L 1985
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