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Ecce Homo Homolka

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Frank, Frank!
We must be sitting on an ant-hill ...jau!
We can't be... - Why can't we...?
Jau! See? One went straight up my...
up my trouser leg...
Well you know what, take those pants off.
Hmm... that's really... yow...
Jau! - What's the matter?
This is terrible... me too. I can't stand it.
Wait. - What? It'll eat you alive.
Frank...
Jau!
Well, what's the matter?
Hey, look, come here...
Look, I'd never have expected an ant-hill here. Would you?
Hey look, you've got some ants here... - Me? Have I?
Yeah and you've got... - You've got some on your leg...
Jau! - Sure - and there's one running here...
There are dozens on you - take your clothes off...
That isn't true... you've got one here...
Wait, I am going to fall -
What if you do? There is one -
I bet you - there is one... here...
Jau... wait, you can't see a thing -
wait till I take it off...
I don't mind...
You can see now, can't you?
You are passionate, my boy...
No, I'm not.
Look, there's another ant...
Where? - Here!
How does the damn thing open?
Frank, Frank!
Done.
See, I managed...
Dad... - What?
Found anything? - No.
Luis! - Yes -
Found anything?
No. I haven't got anything either. - Neither have I.
Matt, you got something? I don't.
Dad... - What?
Come here!
Wait, they'll go away.
Of course they won't - they are coming closer.
For Christ's sake, what do the idiots want here?
I wish I knew.
Hook me up.
There's no peace, even in the woods. Terrible...
The ferns are nice, but the mushrooms have all been picked...
Jesus, I'd like to shoot these people.
Every damned place occupied by people
Sure, every damned place...
And every fool goes picking mushrooms and we have run around like idiots...
Pete, where are you? - Look, let's sit down.
Look... I'll have a smoke.
You know what? - Yes?
Let's try the deep woods...
That's an idea - let's go into the forest.
It's all the same - wood or forest...
Well. Let's give it a try...
Look, there's raspberry - grab it! Take it... To the forest...
Where are you?
Come here - this is where we'll meet again...
Pete, let's go and join gradpa...
Did you find it?
Where are you, grandpa? - There are some more a bit lower down...
Well, what is it?
I've got no mushrooms, but my feet are burned by nettles,
Spit on them, Hedy!
Look... Come here. - What?
And how am I to get there? - Let's make...
Say what... ...a plan - we'll meet here...
Frank! - Don't run off - you'll get lost.
Come over here... Matt, come here, come to mummy...
Look... - Watch out and don't get scratched...
Say what... - What are we going to do?
We'll start out from here, form a line -
do you get me?
We've got to find something!
Frank! Frank!
Look, at toad-stool - beautiful, like a picture...
Look at it - you'll remember it! - Atoad-stool, so what?
Look, it's got a little skirt underneath...
I like it... - It is nice -
at least we've found something...
Look, I'll tell you something -
I'm dead tired... - I'm going for a walk.
I'm going to find a nice spot - - Of course, I've about had enough too.
We'll look for mushrooms later on.
For heaven's sake, what have you packed? It weighs a ton!
Food and drink - what else?
I have a bag full of food too... - So it's drinks, why not...
Drinks - they'll be warm - let me see...
Come here, Pete! - It's warm, isn't it?
Yes, it's warm. - Well...?
We have to find a place to keep it cool - this way it's no good...
Careful, boys, careful! Pete, come here!
- Come, I'll undress you. Pete - don't get wet, do you hear?
All right - is it nice to bathe in?
Hurry up, Matt - come here - Matt... - Go, change...
- take the blouse off...
Come,
you've got to take your clothes off first and then you can go and bathe with daddy.
Of course - that will be nice...
That will be nice, that will be nice...
Where's the beer? Hand it over...
You and your beer! Let me see -
Hurry up! Come down here, come, come...
Into the water, boys!
Matt, put your hands up! Pete -
Hurry up! Hurry...
Boys, it's great! You'll bathe...
Let's go... last one in is a rotten egg... hurrah!
Don't splash! - Do splash him, do, splash him...
Jesus, it's great - cuts right through you -
Matt - from the other side...
I give up...
Come and join us - it's good for your health,
come, boys, grandpa...
Help! I'm outnumbered! I give up.
It's twisting my feet, brr,
it's twisting my feet!
Let me tell you - she's dancing quite well...
You can see she was a dancer...
If she'd manage to lose 100 pounds... - lf... Well...
...she'd be a ballerina! Swan lake -
This is like paradise.
Paradise, isn't it? Great...
I said it was like paradise, didn't I?
That's what people need -
a bit of peace and quiet -
that's all one needs to be happy...
Of course. Peace and quiet,
that's what we need most...
Let me tell you - if I had the power,
I'd make everyone come here - I'd make it a duty - and you'd see...
I would...
Just look - look at that tree - I've never seen a tree like this...
did you ever...
it looks like a great tower... - It does...
Beautiful... look - let me tell you -
nature is like a church... but what's the use...
You are right...
Great, isn't it?
Dad - dad - do you hear?
Now what? - Dad!
Someone's calling for help. Luis and Hedy aren't here... look...
Don't be silly...
Listen - do you hear...?
It isn't Luis or Hedy - it's someone else...
I am sorry that I can't... under these circumstances...
Don't be silly - if you loved me,
you wouldn't even notice that someone's calling...
Yeah - if she didn't call for help...
Dad - now it's two people calling...
Women. Do you have the bottle-opener?
Here...
That's a man...
I hope Luis and Hedy won't get involved!
Now it's three people!
What's the matter?
Shut up and breathe - we'll get away...
Mummy, the bridge is down. - Forget it - there's no time now...
Come on, damn you...
People always get in trouble, don't they? - People do...
Come here, dad!
It isn't you they are calling - come on and don't pester me.
And you'd expect me to... under such conditions...
I'll tell you something - my parents are going out tonight -
we'll go for a drive now and we'll go to our house in the evening.
What a stupid idea! To you house... - Why is it stupid?
Someone will come - and what are you going to say?
No one will come, don't worry, my parents are going to visit friends...
I wonder -
Granny! Granny!
Here I am - what's the matter?
Mrs. Capova.
Luis baby... - That's terrible! I can't stand it...
Luis baby, Luis baby...
Tell me - where do you thing they are?
You are the clever one, always - don't tell me you don't know...
You always pretend to know everything!
Johnny! - Luis baby, Luis baby...
Johnny! Johnny!
John! Johnny...
Mary!
Let's go home, quickly! Where have you been?
Here we are waiting for you like idiots, calling for you...
Let's go... Coming...
Let's go! Hurry, hurry... - Petey!
Where's the fire, for Christ's sake?
We are coming, aren't we?
Grandma!
Are you out of your mind - stupid?
Shut up, ass...
Home's home I always say...
Of course home's home, of course it is. - Look, it needs straightening again!
A bit to the left, I say... - To the right!
It isn't straight! - Of course it isn't.
How many eggs do you want, dad? - One will do.
Give it a push...
And you, Luis baby? - To the left.
Naturally.
Grandpa - have some sense - to the right, I said.
What do you take me for?
A fool? - I say to the right...
Grandpa is right - it needs a push to the left... - No, to the left...
Neither to the left nor to the right - it's straight...
I say - to the right...
It isn't straight!
It's allright now - it keeps sliding back...
To the right.
It's allright now, isn't it? - It needs a push to the right. Now it hangs straight.
Why does it hang...? - Why does it...?
I've told you many times - it's to remind us
that Our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified
and paid for our sins... - Paid for our sins...
...and saved us for ever and ever...
Listen to grandma! - He paid for our sins. Will that do?
Come on, eat or the sausages will get cold...
Mummy, who pays for us must be crucified?
No, may the Lord forgive us!
He mustn't - but it isn't worth it -
it's better to avoid it... - Look, let's not go in to that - eat.
Eat, eat - do you call
this a Sunday dinner?
Of course it would have tasted different in the woods... in the woods...
sausages fried on the open fire... - The lovely smell...
It would have been great, Petey... just imagine...
You don't have to tell us, we know...
Imagine the gravy dripping onto a slice of bread
and you can smell the sausage in the woods -
Sausages in the wood are sausages in the woods...
...and the woods are the woods...
Don't spill the beer!
Why didn't you stay there? - Why didn't you stay there?
Please, dad...
Pardon me, pardon me, what have I done?
Lord, it's warm...
Ham, ham, ham... - Ham, ham...
Sausages are better than eggs...
Have a piece of bread... a tiny little piece...
I'd like to know what happened in the woods...
A robbery, what else? ...we could have stayed there...
Don't be silly, my girl... - That's the question,
that's the question - People have a sixth sense that tells them...
What does it tell them? - It tells them when it's time to run...
That's fact.
Of course - those who run always win...
That's why I keep telling you - home is home,
that's where you find your peace, with your family...
Dad... - Hm.
I'm off... - Hm.
Do you hear? - What?
I'm off... - Hm...
Hm. You'll be wondering where I've gone to... - Hm...
To Chuchle - to the races...
Hedy! - What?
What if you and grandma took the boys the races without me -
And I'd go to the football with dad... - No, that's quite out of the question.
I have to tell you - or you'd wonder where I am.
Well - and where are you going to be? - Didn't I say you were asleep?
Look, Hedy...
...three... ...threehundredandthirtythree...
Threehundredandthirtythree... ...silver birds...
...silver birds... ...passed over...
...passed over... ...over...
...over... ...threehundredandthirtythree...
...silver roofs. ...silver roofs.
I'll put the coffee-pot on, and then what? You'll go back to sleep.
The water will boil over and snuff out the flame-and you'll never wake up...
That's just what I need!
That's what I need - I'd have some peace and quiet!
Look, dad, look, you've no right to talk like that! - Look, leave me alone.
I have every right.
It's the truth, that's what it is, the truth...
I am right. - Right - you are right - in what?
You'll go back to sleep and the coffee would boil over. -You talk such nonsense
you didn't even put it on yet! - And I'm not going to -
I don't want to have you on my conscience!
You already have me on your conscience since a long time ago! A long time ago!
We are even, there. - I have a lot to blame you for, but you can't blame me...
You - blame me? You? I could blame you - I could...
Look, go to the races, will you?
I am fed up! Go!
We are going to the races!
Hold on to me, Matt.
Are you looking forward to it, boys?
Sit down nicely... damn you...
Damn you... - Damn you...
How can we expect poor Luis to manage his wife when I...
and old sucker...
Don't worry, Luis will soon find out how to manage Hedy...
As if I had ever found out how to manage you!
I never did - in thirtyfive years...
You'd have to be brighter...
I'd have to be a genius like Edison -
or Lenin, but even to two of them couldn't have managed you!
In thirtyfive years,
I managed to win my right to watch the football - and you hold
that against me!
That's almost more than if I had invented the electric bulb!
You didn't win any right, it's just that I am so fed up with you
that I'm glad to get rid of you for a while, you Edison!
Look, mum, take Hedy and the twins and go to the races without me!
Why without you? What are you going to do?
I'm going to the football with dad. - Oh, you are - and does Hedy know?
No. Go and tell her. - A heroic decision.
Luis baby, you know how she is...
What's this? How is she?
Just go and tell her you are afraid of her!
She is just like you! - Don't say that...
You'll see what you are...
Luis baby, the boys are looking forward to the races...
I am no horse.
You are no horse, but you are a father, Luis baby.
Lord, stop calling me "Luis baby" and go and tell her.
Look, Luis, if you don't win
the right to go to the football, you are a dead man...
That's obvious... - Shut up! Stop pushing him...
That's the only thing that's left to him.
Luis, you've got to win! - Go and tell her!
What and idea! Are you mad?
Why should I go and tell her?
Look, boys - we are all ready to go - and daddy isn't dressed yet.
I told you not to marry her! - You did?
I told him not to marry her!
Well - what's the matter? We are going! - We are going, we are going!
Where's the hitch? - Where's the hitch?
I am no horse, Hedy! - So?
No, I'm not!
Hedy, we'll go without him. - Come on, grandma.
No, no - he'll come too. - Grandma, let's go!
On Sunday, a family should be together. - Grandma, come on!
I'm going to the football with dad!
Wait... to the football - with me - I never asked you and said you should.
Daddy, let's go -
we'll go somewhere - to the football too...
On Sunday a family should be together. Do you hear?
You'll go to the races and I'll go to the football.
We aren't going.
You are going to the races with your mother. - We won't - you will!
I am not going to the races!
Come on, Grandma, Luis will catch up with us - in a hurry...
I am not going to catch up with you - don't count on that!
Grandma - don't argue with him!
Luis baby, you'd better catch up with us!
Well, thanks, dad...
Look, it needs straightening again!
Luis, I want to have some peace and quiet...
But I don't!
I'm going to run away -
I'm going to leave...
Look, I've been running away for 35 years and I haven't done it yet -
you won't do it either.
I am going to run away! I will, I will!
You will - where to?
You'll leave your family like a no good bum?
Where to?
Look - the men in our family have a sense of duty, do you hear?
So you want me to run after them to Chuchle, don't you?
Look, Luis - let me tell you -
if you don't win out over the football,
you are a dead man to me, that's what you are...
Slow down, no, no - start!
Grandma... - What?
Where's Luis? - I don't know - he was right here a minute ago.
Grandma - where's Luis? - I don't know.
Hell - if he went to the football, I'll show him...
Avodka!
That's how daddy fell - bim -
No, that's how daddy fell, you know...
That's how daddy fell - bum -
Luis baby, Luis baby...
Oh Lord,
I'm so nervous I can't do a thing.
Don't do a thing then...
Yes, yes...
I don't know how you can read your paper so calmly.
But I'm not reading them calmly. - One always reads the papers calmly.
You've never read a paper in your life and you tell me
how people read...
When would you expect me to read? The amount of work I have...
Look, intelligent people
always find the time to read the papers to learn
what's happening in the world...
Clever, aren't you - you are interested in what's happening to the world...
Or course I am interested... ...but you never gave a damn about
what's happening at home! - Stop harping on me -
so the boy hand too much to drink, so he'll sleep it off and we'll see...
Martin, you're a rock...
Stop playing at daddy -
play horses, will you?
Don't you look at us -
don't you look at us -
they are going to take "Him" from you and crucify "him"
we've got "him" in the kitchen
I can show "him" to you!
Where are you taking the crucifix?
Watch me and you'll see!
It's warm.
You're carrying the crucifix around
as if you were a nun!
Don't look like this -
so the boy got drunk, what's wrong with that? You act as if that was a crime.
He's a grown man, isn't he?
He'll sleep it off and we'll see...
It doesn't hang straight - you know that, don't you?
Not here, Luis baby...
You missed a lot, Luis, you missed a great game -
A match you'll never see the likes of.
It was like a concert, like the Philharmonic!
I don't find the right words to describe it... Jurkanin, the centerforward...
Sparta has a team
that would beat even Real Madrid!... you've never seen a match like that...
just imagine Luis -
straight from the goal - a long shot - not high - just right -
Andrej kicked the ball
across the field to Vrana, Vrana changed from left foot to the right -
passed it on to Vesely -
the speed, you ought to have seen that -
Vesely stood there like a wooden figure,
I shouted like mad,
and that's when they scored for the first time!
Within two minutes, another attack - do you hear?
Within two minute... Andrej
fooled them... he didn't catch the ball - are you listening?
Listen, I've got no one to tell this to...
He passed the ball and now
a header... and now another.
I said to myself: That's great -
one of those slow pokes threw it to him, you see, then a back heel,
and - damn you...
I need a cup of coffee.
Wait, Luis, I'll be back in a minute.
Where are you going with the cigarettes? - Guess.
You aren't going to smoke in the bedroom! - Is the coffee ready yet?
Is the coffee ready yet? I feel sick...
Get out of here with the cigarette. - For Christ's sake, mum, leave me alone.
I'm telling you to get out with those cigarettes.
Jesus Christ, don't make me crazy... I'll be damned if I... this can't go on,
you are driving me crazy!
You crazy old shrew!
Did you see that, Luis? Crazy old shrew!
I'm going to teach you a lesson!
The curtains could stand it for once!
I'll be damned... you can't take much, my boy!
Christ... I'll...
Dad! Please... be sensible! Dad! Mum!
...I'm going to show her...
Dad, stop!
Here... go and pickle your bedding
for all I care... damn you...
Luis baby, your coffee is ready.
No, not here - come on, let...
Did you see that?
He isn't satisfied with having destroyed my life
he wants to destroy the bedding, too! The dirty old... but I'll show him...!
I'm not going to unlock the door till he makes the bed again!
The door is going to stay locked till you make the beds!
Don't be silly!
I am not going to unlock the door!
Please - open the door!
I told you I won't!
Mum, don't be silly, this isn't gong to help!
I'd rather you told me why you got so drunk -
and you stop kicking the door, it's useless!
Luis, open the door! - I haven't got the key!
It's in the door, isn't it? - It isn't, mum took it away.
Hell and damnation!
Luis, the key is in the lock!
It isn't!
Hell, I can't see through...
There's flap there, you spy!
I'm going to kick the door in! Hell, mum, open up
or I'll tear the bedding to shreds!
That would take a real man!
Please, mum, let him out, don't be silly.
I won't! - But this is silly...
Make the beds - you won't get out otherwise if you stand on your head!
All right, all right,
I'm going to make the beds, you'll be sorry yet!
Mum, I have to go to the toilet!
There's a pot in there!
Awoman like that expects you to pray for her!
All the devils in hell must be alerted...
Who is it? - Suchankova...
Mrs. Suchankova? - Hello, Mrs. Homolkova...
Hello... - Who is banging so hard in your place?
Who is doing what? - Don't you hear it - it resounds through the whole house?
Do you hear anything? - Of course I do.
I'll be damned... - So will I...
Luis... - What?
Who was it? - I don't know.
Look, Luis... - What?
Where's the key? - For Christ's sake - I told you
mum took it... - Never mind. Look, Luis...
Well... - I have an idea... - What, again?
Look - all depends on you...
Don't be scared... why are you scared? The way you talked in the afternoon...
I am not scared, why do you thin I am?
I hope you aren't.
It's much too high, dad -
I'll never manage...
What are you staring at? - I'm not.
What?! - I said I'm not.
Take the beer home before the foam falls...
I'm on my way to fetch the beer. - Go and fetch it, then.
I want to see you throw...
Look, scram, scram, I said. Run along, scram...
Christ, he is an idiot!
He can't be my son - such a stupid ass -
Christ, I've never seen such an idiot.
Hello, Mrs. Suchankova. - Hello, Mr. Homolka -
Did the noise come from your apartment? - I threw some cigarettes into your window.
Look, what do you take me for? I know the noise came from your place.
Stupid ass - stupid ass...
can't be my son... can't be my son...
You didn't stay outside long enough to cure your headache...
You've only been outside a few minutes. - A few minutes but it's enough.
Why didn't you stay a bit longer? - Never mind, mum.
Why didn't you put a stone inside to make it heavier?
What stone? Oh - no stone.
Look, next time I'm going to throw something at you, you...
You didn't throw me anything, you... - What stone?
Next time I'll ask old Mrs. Waitinger - she'll do better than you...
Come on - what did you and dad arrange to do? What stone?
We didn't arrange anything... - Say, dad - what stone?
Go to hell, you crazy old harpy! Mum stop it - can't you see how my head hurts?
You shouldn't have got drunk!
Why don't you unlock the door? Nothing but quarrels all the time...
Open the door, curse you...
Nothing but quarrels - if it wasn't more than that,
I wouldn't mind, but that's the way we live -
take Romeo and Juliet - that's what I call a loving couple...
Yeah - for how long? They died soon... - Mum...
And our dad? He'll live to be a hundred!
Open the door and stop the nonsense!
Do you hear him? Would Romeo ever have kicked the door?
You'll have to revarnish it!
Why should I revarnish it? There won't be anything left to revarnish!
Look, Pauline, don't pretend to be out - you left your shoes out here!
Silly thing to do...
Look, Pauline,
I'm taking your shoes along -
I'll sit in the car
and wait for you to come out.
And I hope you heard me!
Who is it now? - Mrs. Suchankova again!
Mrs. Homolkova - - Didn't I tell you that -
That's not why I came - - I'm bringing Mr. Homolka's cigarettes.
What cigarettes? - He threw them through the window into my apartment!
You are the only sensible creature here...
Luis, Luis...
What? - Who was that?
Look, don't talk to me. - Don't you talk to me! Silly ass.
You don't even know how to throw things, but never mind.
Look, Luis, couldn't you push a cigarette through the keyhole?
I could - if I took the tabacco out... - Hell and damnation!
So you and dad conspire against me? Behind my back?
Look - leave the door handle alone - make the beds, or else...
So that's why you went for a walk?
God is just and made you miss!
Look, I was going to fry you a steak but as you like dad
more than me, go, go, go to your wife.
I don't want you here! - I'm not going... - I don't want you here!
If you like dad more than me... - I don't like him better - why should I
that's all you ever say you like him better - you are both great,
but I don't remember that you've ever acted like normal people!
Like normal people... - Are you and Hedy normal people?
That's something else again.
Is it? Why are you here then? Why aren't you with Hedy?
All right, I'm going to join her now.
Why don't you?
I'll be better off there than here!
A lady has to wear a hat,
ha... ha... ha... hat
without a hat she is no lady...
Hats of all shapes and styles... Daddy
we aren't to talk to you! Yes, daddy!
Why not? - Mummy said we mustn't!
Yes, daddy, mummy said we mustn't, that's a fact!
She can't have. - She did, she did.
I'll be damned if I do it! I am not going to!
I'd be stupid if I did! Cursed work...
Hell, mum, you don't expect me to make the bed, do you?
Jesus, mum, I'm going crazy for a cigarette! I feel like crying...
Cry, why don't you?
Matt, let me have the book. - What do you want it for?
I want to look at the pictures.
Daddy, let's play cow...
Yes, daddy, let's play cow...
Don't be difficult, daddy.
Boo - I am a cow called Daisy...
Great! Great! Again...! - I'd like to tell you what you are!
Off to the kitchen with you, boys. We'll go and prepare supper.
Let them stay - don't you see we are playing? - Look...
Didn't I tell you you are not to talk to daddy?
Heddy, Heddy, don't be so hard on me.
It's all your fault!
Next time I'm going to the football -
or I'll get drunk again...
We'll settle accounts yet...
...or I'll go to the football
and get drunk!
Or I'm going to start running after girls!
Hell and damnation!
That's how you should whistle...
Boys, how often have I told you not
to play with the taps in the bathroom?
Daddy, we aren't supposed to talk to you. - Yes, daddy, we really aren't
supposed to talk to you. - That's what I said -
In that case, look after them!
We aren't to talk to you, mummy said we mustn't.
Well it's true that mummy told us not to.
Did you really tell the boys not to talk to their own father?
Yes, grandma, mummy said we mustn't,
yes, grandma, mummy said not to...
Do you think that's right?
Yes, I think it's right.
Hasn't the soup gone sour?
I don't think so. You don't? - I don't.
It's because dad's upset me - I've lost my taste...
Hedy, you shouldn't have done that... - What?
You shouldn't have told the boys not to talk to their father.
Look, grandma, that's my affair. - Your affair? What do you mean?
It's my affair too... Is he your husband or mine?
He's your husband but my son!
So what? - I am his mother, that's what.
So what, so what?
I won't let you treat my Luis baby that way...
Look, grandma, I am his wife...
Yes, and what's more - a wife or a mother.
Wait, he'll tell us what's more - a wife
or a mother, he'll tell you.
Did you lock him in? - No. Why should I lock him in?
But he is locked in - look, Luis baby -
Luis - Luis baby...
Go to hell! - He is asleep - I know him...
He never locks the door...
And now he did.
Luis, do you hear?
...Of course he's snoring - do you hear him?
Never mind, never mind,
we'll wake him - he must tell us what's more...
Degrading, what's what it is! Degrading!
Mum - I've made them...
Mum, do you hear? I've made the beds!
So you don't believe me, do you?
Such degradation - and you won't talk to me?
For heaven's sake,
I'm going to have a heart attack...
I lost a shoe... Shall I lock the door?
Hedy, are you there? Look,
why aren't you sensible if mum isn't?
Look, mum's always been against you, from the beginning,
I heard you argue...
and you side with her!
Don't pretend you aren't there - I can hear you! I can hear you cook...
Boys, why don't you say something?
I am locking the door.
Oh, Matt, shut the water off,
Matt, shut the water off!
Look grandma, I've only got one set of nerves.
And what do I care about your nerves? What do I care about your nerves
when I have to see how unhappy my poor boy is.
Do you think I am happy? What a family I married into...
beyond all my dreams! What a family...
And what do you think you, you are? You are so proud you cold be a princess!
You ought to be glad my Luis baby married you,
you ought to kiss his hands! - And what else am I supposed to kiss?
My ass!
Mum - I am telling you - I hate you! Do you hear?
I am telling you - in front of Hedy - in front of witnesses -
and if someone hits you over the head it's going to be me!
Do you hear?
I really made the beds, that's how low I've sunk -
but you aren't going to see it, if I was to sit here till the end
of my days, hell, till the end of my days
- there you are -
that's what you'll get, you old harpy...
Say it - I want you to say it. - For Christ's sake!
Don't take the Lord's name in vain -
I want you to tell her who is more...
Don't you see he is afraid to tell you? Luis...
Stupid - why should he be afraid - stupid - he is afraid to tell you!
Why should he be afraid to tell me that a wife is more than a mother?
Of course he is - he is afraid of you. Luis baby - Luis baby -
who are you afraid of?
Both of you!
Hey, mum, what are you doing? Something's burning!
I've got no one but you...
only you, do you hear?
Look, mum, forget it...
Look, always gave you your heart's desire...
I am making such a lovely steak for you... as soft as a cake...
Aren't the steaks for all of us, grandma?
You aren't going to get one.
Luis baby... - Look, mum...
Luis, baby... - Well, mum...
The steaks!
Stop honking that horn! Are we to listen to that noise...
I hope I can honk if I want to... - Don't argue, my boy!
You ought to have seen the fun!
What got into you? Just look at yourself!
Come and eat!
Needs a draft, that's what it needs -
what a great cook you are, my dear...
Just look at yourself! Put your hands up -
Luis, go and get the boys sweaters!
I'd like to slap you... both of you...
put your hands up - come on - Luis!
What a terrible smell!
Tell her - our blue-ribbon cook...
So you are out, are you? That's news...
You know what you can do - you and the whole family...
I didn't lock you in, grandpa. - We didn't lock you in...
Stop it! - You all locked me - don't argue!
Matt and I didn't! - The whole family did!
Eat - the soup's good. - The whole family locked me in, I said.
Your food will get cold... Just watch - a lot is going to happen.
Dad - stop it... I'm going to show you what's... what... I will...
Sorry - pardon me... so you are not going to stop honking, are you?
Do you understand Czech, damn you?
Where are you going - who do you think you are? - Just do that again!
Luis - boys - come on, come on -
Come on! You'll catch cold, do you hear?
Hedy - the food gets cold...
I'll slap your face - and that goes for all of you - do you want to catch cold?
Hurry up - you can take it later...
Come and eat, dad - the soup is good -
and the potato-salad...
Have a cigarette, dad...
you can smoke in the kitchen... come on, dad...
Hedy - the food is getting cold...
...you can't blame me for not being able to...
if he keeps honking...
I know - except that you said that once before, today...
I wish he hadn't taken our shoes away! - I'll teach you manners, hooligan...
Grandpa, she's thrown a bucket of water on him and we'll throw the burned steaks!
Where are you going? Where are you going? We'll throw them on his head - yeah!
Boys, who put you up to this? Who gave you permission?
What an idea! Dad, come and watch the fun!
Don't try to butter me up - I told you -
there's going to be no fun - you'll be sorry yet... remember that!
As you wish - it's you who's going to be sorry.
Who is going to be sorry? Who? You are going to be sorry!
You are. - Crazy old harpy...
she dares to tell me that I am going to be sorry...
what does she take me for, a complete idiot?
I am going to be sorry, I... why should I be?
Why should I be sorry?
And that's the people I have to live with... cursed life...
we'll see yet who is going to be sorry!
Come and eat your soup - the show's over, anyway...
nasty hooligan... deserved all he got... - He did - a boy that age -
with a car...
A car? Do you call that a car?
Mrs. Suchankova aimed well... It was funny...
very funny... call that a car?
Dad - did you lock yourself in? - This is a madhouse - Jesus Christ...
Grandpa, grandpa... - Dad! Dad - this is nonsense...
It isn't...
Jesus, dad, open the door - we're like a pack of lunatics.
Do you hear? This is like a loony bin!
The whole world is a loony bin nowadays...
Yes - and that's why ought to have some peace at home. You said so yourself?
I've been looking for peace for 35 years and what do I get? A constant rodeo!
And what have I got?
Oh Lord - I wish they'd come and fix the TV-set
or we'll all go mad... I'm going to our room -
it would be too much to expect that grandpa would unlock the door...
We've locked the door, we've locked the door.
Why did you lock the door? Because we've never been locked in...
Boys - do you hear me?
'Cause grandpa also locked the door!
Is that why you locked it? - Yeah!
Open the door, do you hear!
You won't be allowed to watch television...
It's broken anyway! Don't make me mad!
Dad - do you know what you've done now? The boys have locked themselves in.
Open the door and they will, too. - That's a trick I'm not going to fall for!
I am telling that the boys have locked themselves in because you did...
That's the truth, dad!
The boys are imitating you, dad!
It's a trick...
My word of honour - when they saw you lock the door, they did, too -
my word of honour... tell him...
...honestly... honestly...
All right... I'm coming...
I'm coming...
but let me tell you - I'm going to open the door,
but God help you if it's a trick!
Come and lock, grandpa - see for yourself...
The boys... they've locked themselves
in like their grandpa...
That's great! ...that proves whom they love...
that proves whom they love!
Boys, open the door - this is your grandpa,
I've opened it too... - Yes - but you've been locked
in for a long time - and we are going to stay locked in for a long time too...
There you are...
You were in such a hurry to get into the kitchen - you can go now...
So what? Is that a miracle? You are telling me as if it were a miracle
that the kitchen door is open... - You kept begging me
to open the door! - I - begging you?
I begging you for something - I've never begged in my life...
Look, stop it or I'll...
Oh, she's just furious that the boys love me better
than her, that's it... - The boys - love you better?
You?
The boys and love you better?
Boys - open the door!
We aren't going to - even if you were to stand on your head!
What do you think of that? - Don't be silly!
...we aren't silly... we aren't silly...
I need something from the room...
No you don't... hahaha...
Just you wait till I come back from the bathroom.
Why should I be afraid of her?
I know you aren't afraid of her - why should you be?
Not of me - but you are afraid of her - of her - you are!
Because if you aren't you'd admit
that the boys love me more than her!
What nonsense! She can't admit that
because it isn't true! And she won't admit they love me best
because she's mad at me, that's why!
Say it, Hedy - say it! - What do you want me to say?
Whom the boys love best... - Don't ask me - go and ask the boys!
I've about had enough! Everybody keeps locking doors
but no one ever locks the door of the bathroom so the boys can't play there!
This is the 2nd time I've had a shower today...
So what? That's no reason to get excited they are only children, after all...
Yes - because of a bit of water...
Thanks for the advise - open the door, boys!
Luis - Luis - don't be silly!
Don't make such a fuss...
Boys, do you hear? You are going to get a good hiding!
Haven't I told you again and again
not to play with the shower?
Boys - boys, don't be scared, I won't let anyone touch you!
Stop it! If you don't know how to teach them mannaers, shut up!
What sort of education is that? Terrible!
If you can't tell them off at least keep your mouth shut.
Listen, Luis baby, I think I've done enough...
Look, Luis, stop cursing, the boys hear enough curses as it is...
children should be talked
to sensibly... Jesus Christ...
what they need is a bit of love...
one need that even at our age...
people need to be loved...
Yes, of course - why are you staring at me?
If you are right, I don't argue...
Grandpa - is daddy still there? Is he there?
Luis baby - go to the kitchen, dad and I will settle this...
Grandpa... Grandpa...
Of course I'm here, boys -
you can open the door now, your dad's gone away...
No, no - I'm going to give them a good hiding!
We are going to open up - now!
Stop it, stop it...
I am telling you they'll get a beating like never before...
They are not... - Come here, boys, come here!
Only over my dead body! Do you hear?
Who gave you permission to play with the shower?
You do it again and again - just look at me...
This is a madhouse...
Who are you going to obey?
Grandpa... I don't believe this
Look, go and look after the children -
they are pampering them - it's unbelievable
...now what is it? Aren't you talking to me?
I am - why not...
Why don't you say something?
Look, I am only human, do you understand?
So what? So am I -
and so are my parents - only human... what else...
Listen, we tricked your daddy, didn't we? - Well - what do you think?
...and I'm going to go and buy you a nice roller-scooter
understand?
There's something wrong with the boys they aren't as lively as usual...
That's Luis fault...
Hell, when is Van ek coming to fix the TV?
Day after tomorrow, he said.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
Shouldn't the soup be warmed up again?
Mum...
Stop it, I am exhausted!
Wait, we've got to reach our goal! - What goal? Where are you going?
When I think where I could have been if I hadn't grown so fat...
where I could have been if I hadn't grown so fat...
What's the matter?
Where she could have been if she hadn't grown so fat...
Hedy... Hedy...
Oh, I'm so unhappy!
Christ, that's no tragedy...
Look, Hedy - if I think where I could have been - what I could have done...
I am fat and unhappy too and I don't cry... Hedy...
Look, who isn't... who isn't unhappy?
What should I say? What I could have done and where I could have been...
we are here, so what can we do...
Look, you've got the twins... so what's the matter?
Let me tell you - the boys will go far, won't they? Boys...
I'll go far...
Yes, even further...
That's it, boys - you'll go far and that's all that matters, isn't it?
We'll far, we'll go far... ...see the whole world!
The whole world! ...the world...
So what else do you want, what else?
Two lovely boys - Chat else do you want?
Mummy, I want to go to the toilet! I do, too!
You do? Run along, boys hurry up, run along...
Well, boys, but to go far isn't easy.
Don't you dare wet the lid, boys!
I always say a family is the foundation stone of the whole state...
That's what I keep telling you.
You - telling us? I never heard you say that!
Well, so you hear me now.
I bet you've read that somewhere... - What are you saying?
Have you ever seen me read?
No, I've never seen you read, that's a fact!
Well? That's right, grandpa, a family is the foundation of the state.
Don't I know that? And what's the state?
What's the state - we are the state, aren't we?
That's a smart thing to say.
Yes, isn't it?
Hedy... - Oh, I could have been a dancer...
Look, Hedy, what is it now?
Don't, Hedy... - Leave me alone, will you?
Look at yourself - look Chat you've done to me,
all of you... where I could have been,
how far I could have gone... what are you staring at, all of you?
I am in a rut...
that's where I am...
Don't look at me, it's all your fault.
Get up, Luis baby, get up and dance with her...
come on dad, let's have some music -
try the radio...
If the TV had worked, all this wouldn't have happened...
do you want to dance to this?
Don't be silly, mum, don't be silly...
Get up, Luis - I wan to dance too...
Don't be silly...
E=mc2
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