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Ethernal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

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[CarTrunk Lid, DoorClosing]
[ CarEngine Starts ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs, Groans ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Groans ]
[ Exhales ]
[ Horn Blows ]
[Man On P.A.] Montauk train on track "B. "
[Man ] Random thoughts for Valentine's Day, 2004.
Todayis a holidayinvented bygreeting card companies...
[ Man On P.A. Continues ] Last call--
to make people feel like crap.
I ditched work today.
Took a train out to Montauk.
[ Man On P.A. ] Montauk train boarding on track "B. "
I don't know why.
Aah! I'm not an impulsive person.
[ Panting ]
I guess Ijust woke up in a funk this morning.
I gotta get my car fixed.
Hi. Cindy?
It's Joel.Joel!
Listen, I don't feel verywell today.
No, food poisoning, I think.
[Joel Continues ] It's goddamn freezing on this beach.
Montauk in February. Brilliant,Joel.
Page is ripped out.
Don't remember doing that.
It appears this is my first entry in two years.
Sand is overrated.
It'sjust tiny little rocks.
Ifonly I could meet someone new.
I guess my chances ofthat happening are somewhat diminished,
seeing that I'm incapable ofmaking eye contact with a woman I don't know.
Maybe I should get back together with Naomi.
She was nice. Nice is good.
She loved me.
[ Woman Speaking, Faint ]
[ Chuckles Softly ]
[Joel Continues ] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see...
who shows me the least bit ofattention?
[ Train Horn Blows ]
Hi.
I 'm sorry?
- I just said hi. - Hi. Hello. Hi.
Okay if I sit closer?
How far are you going?
Uh, Rockville Center.
Get out! Me too!
Really? What are the odds?
Do I knowyou?
Doyou ever shop at Barnes & Noble?
Sure. Sure. That's it!
Yeah? I've seen you, man!
Book slave there for, like, fiveyears now.
Ah. I would have thought I would've remembered you. Jesus! Is it fiveyears?
It might be the hair.
What might? It changes a lot.
The color. That's whyyou might not recognize me.
It's called Blue Ruin, the color. Right. Yeah.
Snappy name, huh? Ilike it.
Yeah.
Anyway, this company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names.
Red-- Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution.
That'd be a job, coming upwith those names.
You think there could possibly be a job like that?
I mean, how many hair colors could there be? Fifty, maybe.
Someone's got thatjob.
Agent Orange! I came upwith that one.
I apply my personality in a paste.
Oh, I doubt thatvery much.
Well, you don't know me, so...
you don't know, doyou?
Sorry. I was just-- I'm trying to be nice.
Yeah. I got it.
[ Inhaling ]
[ Sniffs ]
[ Sighs ]
My name's Clementine, bytheway. I'm Joel.
Hi,Joel. Hey.
Nojokes about my name.
Oh, no, you wouldn't do that. You're trying to be nice.
I don't know anyjokes aboutyour name.
Huckleberry Hound.
I don't knowwhat that means.
Huckleberry Hound? What areyou, nuts?
It's been suggested. [ Chuckles ]
* Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Oh, my darlin' Clementine *
*You were lost and gone forever *
* Dreadful sorry Clementine **
[Laughing] No?
I'm sorry.Just-- It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice.
It's, uh-- It means "merciful."
Right? Clemency?
Although it hardly fits.
I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
Gee, I-I wouldn't thinkthat aboutyou.
Whywouldn'tyou thinkthat about me? I don't know.
I just--
I don't know. I just, uh--
You seem nice, so--
Oh, now I'm nice?
Oh, God. Don'tyou know any other adjectives?
I don't need "nice."
I don't need myselfto be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me. Okay.
[Clementine] Joel?
It's Joel, right?
Yes.
I'm sorry I yelled atyou.
I'm a little out ofsorts today.
[ Exhales ]
My embarrassing admission is,
I really like thatyou're nice right now.
I mean, I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm gonna like,
but right now...
I'm glad you are.
[ Giggles ]
I have so much stuff that, uh, I probably should, uh--
Oh! I'm sorry. Okay. I-I'm writing, and--
No, no. I just-- Sure. No. That's okay.
I just have-- You know, this is-- Okay.
- Ohh! Hey! - Take care, then.
Jesus!
** [ Radio: Pop ]
Hi. I could, uh, giveyou a ride, ifyou need.
It's cold.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah?
It is frosty.
You're not a stalker or anything, right? I'm not astalker.
You're the one that talked to me. Remember?
That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Really? There's a stalker book?
Mm-hmm. Okay.
I gotta read that one.
Look, I'm sorry ifl came off sorta nutso. I'm not, really.
Oh, it's okay. I didn't thinkyou were.
Did you wanna have a drink?
I have lots of drinks, and I could, um--
Um--
[ Chuckles ] Never mind.
Sorry. That was stupid. I'm embarrassed now. No, no, no, no.
Good night,Joel.
Two Blue Ruins.
Thankyou.
Drink up, young man.
It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
I'm just kidding!
[ Laughs ] Come on.
[ Exhales ]
You're kinda closed-mouthed, aren'tyou?
[Whispers ] I'm sorry.
It's just, you know, my life isn't that interesting.
I go to work, I come home.
Don't know what tosay.
You should read myjournal.
I mean, it's just... blank.
Really? Does that makeyou sadoranxious?
I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest,
taking advantage of every possibility,
making sure I'm notwasting one second ofthe little time I have.
I thinkabout that. Yeah?
[ Both Laughing ]
You're really nice.
Ohh! God, I have to stop saying that.
I'm gonna marryyou.
Iknowit. [Slurps Drink]
Um... okay.
Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.
It gets frozen this time ofyear.
That sounds scary. Exactly.
I'll packa picnic.
A night picnic. Night picnics are different.
And, um, we could--
Sounds good.
But I-- I should, uh, go. Now.
You should stay.
No, I really-- I'm-- I--
I have to get up so early.
I would likeyou to call me.
Would you do that? I would like it.
Yes.
Wish me a happyValentine's Day when you call!
That'd be nice.
[ Beeping ]
[ Line Ringing ]
[ Clementine] What tookyou so long?
I justwalked in.
Mm-hmm. You miss me?
Yeah. Oddly enough, I do.
Oh! [ Laughs ]
You said "I do." I guess that means were married.
[ Laughs ] I guess so.
Tomorrow night? Honeymoon on ice?
It's really solid this time ofyear.
Whoa! I don't know.
Come on. Come on. Eee!
Come on. Come on, come on.
[ Sighs ] Whew.
Oh. So beautiful.
[Clementine ] Isn't it?
[ Sighs ]
[ Giggling ] Uh, don't go too far.
- Whoo! Oww! Ow! - Whoa! Oh!
- Areyou okay? - Ouch! Fuck it.
Ohh! Oh, myass!
[ Grunts ]
I think I should go back. Come on. Come on!
What ifit breaks?
- "What if'? Doyou really care right now? - Huh?
Come here. Please.
[ Whispers ] Come on.
[ Mutters ]
Ohh. Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Slidy-slidy. Slidy-slidy. Whoa! [ Chuckles ]
This is good. Here, let me showyou this one thing.
What areyou doing? Whoa.
[ Sighs ] Come on.
Think I heard a crack.
[ Laughing ] It's not gonna crack or breakor--
It's so thick.
Show mewhich constellations you know.
Um-- Oh.
I don't... know any.
Show me which ones you know.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh. Here's Osidius.
Where?
Right there. See?
Sort of a swoop and a cross.
Osidius the Emphatic.
[ Laughs ]
You're full ofshit. Right? Nope.
Osidius is right there. Swoop and cross.
[ Laughing ] Shut the fuck up!
[Whispers ] Clementine.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Sorrytowakeyou, but we're... here.
[ Sighs ] Ahh.
Can I come over toyour house...
to sleep?
I'm so tired. [ Sighs ]
Okay. Um, yeah. Sure.
Let me get my toothbrush. Yeah. Oh.
Just--
Yes?
Can I helpyou? What doyou mean?
Can I helpyou with something? [ Sniffes ]
No.
What areyou doing here?
I'm not really sure whatyou're asking me.
Oh.
Thanks.
* I needyourlovin'*
* Like thesunshine*
* Everybody's gotta learnsometime*
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime **
** [ Stops ]
[ Man #1 ] We're looking for 159. [ Man #2 ] What number's that?
[ Man #1 ] I don't know where that is.
Jesus Christ, you'd think they'd light the number, or at least put a number on--
[ Man #2 ] Is that him? [ Man # 1 ] I think so.
Yeah, that's him. Wait. That's him.
[ Giggling]
Hey,Joel. Frank.
Oh, shit.
Jesus. The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from mymother.
How pathetic is that, huh?
You're lucky you have Clementine, man.
She is way cool.
Hey, you got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?
No.
Well, it's only a day away. Better make some reservations or something.
Don'twant to end up at Mickey D's. Right? [ Chuckling ]
McRomance!
You want some fries with that shake?
I have to, uh, go to sleep now, Frank.
It's 8:30.
**[Man #1 Singing, Falsetto] [Man #2] Patrick, stop it.
[ Sighs ]
Ohh! Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Whew. Okay.
[Man #1 ] Showtime at theApollo.
Shh, shh, shh. Hey.
[ Whispers ] Quiet.
[ Grunting ]
[Equipment Dropping Onto Floor]
[Frank] Hey,Joel. What's up?
[Joel] Oh. Hi, Frank.
[Mailbox Door Opening, Closing] [KeysJingling]
[Sighs ] I only get Valentine's Day cards from my mom.
How pathetic is that? [Man's Voice Echoing, Indistinct ]
You're lucky you have Clementine,Joel.
Hey, you got, uh, any, uh, big Valentine's Day plans with her?
[Whispers ] No.
It's only a day away.
Better make a reservation or something.
Don'twanna end up at Mickey D's.
[ Chuckling ] [Woman] Oh, no!
[Joel] Yes! Valentine's Day is three goddamn days away! I want it resolved.
I'm willing to be the one to resolve it.
So I call her, and she's changed her number.
[Joel] So I walked over to Antic Attic, you know, to get hersomething.
I thought I'd go overto work, give heran earlyvalentine, and--
You won't believe it.
She's there with...
this guy, this reallyyoung guy.
And she looks at me like she doesn't even knowwho I am.
Excuse me?
Can I helpyou find something, sir?
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, Clem-ato.
Patrick! Baby boy.
Whatyou doinghere, baby? [Patrick] Just came to surpriseyou.
Let me know ifyou need something, sir. You look good.
- [Patrick] Hi. - [Kiss ]
How areyou? [ Clementine ] Prettygood. Prettybored. Prettytired.
[Patrick] Uh-huh.
[ Clementine ] I so want what's inyoursuit. Oh, good.
[ Panting ]
Why?
Why would she do that to me?
Hey, does anybodywant a joint?
Oh, God, Rob, give it a rest.
Oh, God. She's punishing me.
I know, honey. For being honest.
It's horrible. I should just go to her house.
No! No, no, no. You don't wanna go there, man. You don't wanna go there.
Get off. It's too--
Right. Yeah.
I don't want to seem desperate.
Joel, why don't you just see this as a sign, make a clean break. Right?
Right? [Joel Groans ]
Allright,Joel, look, man, seriously.
[Woman ] Rob! Here's the deal.
Don't do that. Rob, what areyou doing? No, no, no, no.
What's your fucking suggestion, Carrie? What's your brilliant, reasoned solution?
You're gonna make this about our shit now? This isn't about us.
Iagree. It's not about us. It's aboutJoel, who's an adult. Okay?
Not Mama Carrie's kid.
- What areyou-- - That's your laundry!
That's great. That's good. [Dog Barks ]
Okay.
What is it? [Rob ] I don't know. It's some place that does a thing.
[ Woman ] Good morning. Lacuna.
No, I'm sorry. That offer expired after the newyear.
Yeah, sure. We can fit you in--
How about on the fifth?
That's a Wednesday. All right, great. Couldyou spell that, please?
Okay, and we'll need a daytime phone number.
Great. Have a nice day. See you then.
May I help you?
I'm Joel Barish. Excuse me?
I'm Joel. Barish. I have an appointment with Dr.--
Mierzwiak.
- Here. Could you please fill this out? - I just want to talk to him.
You still need to fill the form out, sir. Really?
- Thankyou. - [ Mutters ] Great.
I don't have a pen.
There's a pen right there. [Phone Rings]
Goodmorning. Lacuna. Oh.
Oh,yeah, that offer. That's done now. That expiredafterthe newyear.
Mr. Barish?
How are we today?
Not too good, actually.
Boo! Oh, my God! Stan!
Sorry. Sorry, I was just-- I'm working!
[ Mutters ] Sorry. Sorry.
[ Whispers ] Here, Doctor. Thankyou.
You should not have seen this.
I apologize.
This is a hoax, right? I mean, this is Clem--
I assureyou, no. [Woman ] No.
Mm-mmm. There's no such thing as this.
Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't showyou evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss, uh-- Miss Kruczynski was not happy,
and she wanted to move on.
[Dr. Mierzwiak] Weprovide thatpossibility.
"Miss Kruczynski was not happy and wanted to move on. [Banging]
We provide that possibility."
What the hell is that?
Nicest guy she everwent outwith.
[Rob] Oww! Fuck!
God, Rob! Give it a rest!
It's okay. It's all right.
Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.
What can Isay,Joel? You know Clementine. She's like that.
She's impulsive.
She decided to eraseyou almost as a lark.
[ Sighs ]
A lark.
[ Sobbing ] Why? Why? Why? Why did you do that?
[Woman ] Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I'm sorry, Doctor. He just barged right in here.
Okay. I want it done. I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time.
- Oh, th-th-that's-- that's okay, Mary. - But there are people waiting.
Mr. Barish, ifyou'd like to, uh-- to come inside.
And, Mary, ifyou could take care of Mrs. Woo. Good-bye, Mrs. Woo. Yes, ofcourse.
Now, the, uh--
the first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish,
is to go home...
andcollect evertyhingyou own that has some association with Clementine.
Anything.
And we'll use these items to create a map ofClementine in your brain.
Okay?
So we'll need, uh, uh, photos, clothing, gifts,
books she may have boughtyou, CDs you may have bought together,
journal entries.
We want to emptyyour home--
We want to emptyyour life ofClementine.
And after the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight.
That way, when you awake in the morning,
you'll findyourselfin your own bed as ifnothing had happened--
a new life awaitingyou.
[ Tires Screech ] [ Driver ] Wake up, buddy!
[Mary] No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Sobel.
You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.
Well, it's just not our policy-- How are you today, Mr. Barish?
Hello. I'm right here.
I know it's an emergency, and we'll do everything we can-- We can fityou in on the first of March.
Maybeyou could talk to the doctor, a-andhe--
All right, so let's make an appointment. What daywouldyou like to come in this week?
Mr. Barish. Um, he's really busy this afternoon.
Maybe tomorrow would be better. Around 12:15? Canyou do that?
February is very busy for us because ofValentine's Day.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Knocks ]
** [DixielandJazz]
This is, uh, Stan Fink,
one ofourmost experienced andskilled technicians.
** [ Continues ]
He'll be handling your case tonight.
Great to meetyou, Mr. Barish.
My name is Joel Barish,
and I'm here to erase Clementine Kruczynski.
Very good. Now, tell me about, uh, Clementine.
Uh, I was...
Iiving with this woman, Naomi,
uh, a coupleyears ago,
and my friends Rob and Carrie invited us to this party at the beach-- I don't like parties.
Naomi couldn't go, but I went...
and I, uh, met Clementine.
[Pencils Clattering On Floor] I'm sorry.
Let's start with your most recent memories...
and work backwards from there, more or less.
There's an emotional core...
to each of our memories,
and when you eradicate that core it starts its degradation process.
Bythe timeyou wake up in the morning,
all the memories we've targeted will havewithered and disappeared,
as in a dream upon waking.
Is there any risk ofbrain damage?
Well, uh, technically speaking,
the procedure is brain damage,
but it's on a parwith a night ofheavy drinking.
Nothing you'll miss.
Comfortable?
Whatwe're doing here, Mr. Barish, is actually creating a map ofyour brain.
[Mierzwiak] Okay, let's getstarted.
Ifwe want to get thisprocedure underwaytonight, we have some work to do.
I want you to react to these objects, Mr. Barish, ifyou will.
[ Clementine Whooping, Laughing]
There's a good story behind this one--
Uh, actually, Mr. Barish, I'll get a much better emotional readout...
ifyou refrain from any sort of verbal description ofthe items.
Just tryto focus on the memories.
Oh. Sorry. Okay.
[Stan] Healthyactivityup there again. Healthyreadouts. Verygood.
- Here's another object. - [ Clementine's Voice ] That's so--
Next item. Okay.
Potato head. [ Chuckles ]
- Next item. Okay. - [Electronic Crackling]
[Stan, Voice Electronically Processed] Just focus on the memories. Patrick, do me a favor.
[Stan ] Hey, Patrick, do me a favor, willya? [ Patrick ] Yeah.
[ Stan ] Can you check the voltage regulator? What do we got there?
U h, voltage looks fine. Really?
Well, I'm not wiping as clean as I like here. I'm-- [ Scoffs ]
[Mierzwiak's Voice, Distant] Well, uh, technicallythe procedure is brain damage.
Check the, uh-- Check the connections, please.
Oh, there you are. I--
Why am I-- I don't understand what I'm looking at.
Why am I standing here and--
Oh, my God. Deja vu.
Deja vu. This is so--
All right, we should get started. Ifwe're gonna get the procedure...
[ Simultaneously] underwaytonight, we have somework to do.
[Whispering ] I'm in my head already, aren't I?
I suppose so. Uh, this is about right.
This is what it-- This is what itwould look like.
Very good.
[ Simultaneously] We'll dispose ofthese mementos when we're done here.
Thatwayyou won't be confused later bytheir unexplainable presence in your home.
[ Stan ] Ah, therewe go.
Patrick? Yeah?
[Stan's Voice, Echoing] Patrick, canyou check-- Patrick?
I'm gettingsome sort ofreadout ofmy own voice. Patrick? Patrick?
- Why are there so many wires? - [Stan ]A lot ofequipment.
- Does that help? -[Stan ]Areyousure youset that thing up properly?
[Patrick] How's that? [Mary] How areyou today, Mr. Barish?
There we are, Mr. Barish. [Stan's Voice ] That's better.
- I don't know if I like this. - Think I might try this, then.
We're almost done now.
Mmm.Journal. That wouldbe invaluable.
[Stan's Voice, ElectronicallyAccelerated] "I metsomeone tonight. I don't know what to do.
Her name is Clementine, andshe's amazing. "
- [ Screaming ] - Whoa! Jesus!
What? What? Come on! Careful! Step back!
Just take it easy.
[ Beeps ] That's fine.
Let's not roach the guy.
[ Sighs ]
All right, you got that one.
This place is sort ofa dump, don'tyou think? It's an apartment, Patrick.
[ Whispers ] Patrick.
Well, not a dump, then, butsorta plain. Uninspired.
And there's sort of a stale smell.
Patrick, can wejust please get through this?
We got a very long night ahead of us. Come on. Yeah. Yeah.
[Door Unlocking, Opening]
[Joel Whispering] This is the last time I sawyou.
[Joel Clears Throat, Sighs ]
[HeavySigh ]
It's 3:00.
I kinda sorta wreckedyour car.
[Sighs ] Were you driving drunk?
It's pathetic.
I was a little tipsy.
Don't call me pathetic.
Well, it is pathetic.
It's fucking irresponsible. Could've killed somebody. [Sighs ] Oh, God.
Maybeyou did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Oh, Christ!
Should I check the grill to see ifthere's any children orsmall animals? I didn't kill anybody!
It's just a fucking dent,Joel. You're like an old lady or something.
Well, what are you like?
Awino? A wino?
[ Laughing ] Jesus, areyou from the '50s or something?
A wino?
Face it,Joely.
You're freaked out because I was out latewithoutyou,
and in your littlewormy brain...
you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?
No, see, Clem,
I assume you fucked someone tonight.
Isn't that howyou get people to likeyou?
[Sighs] I'm sorry. Okay?
Clem, I didn't mean it. All right?
Clem? Yourkeys.
I was just-- I was just-- [ Sighs ] I won't need them anymore.
Angry or annoyed or something, I don't know.
[DoorSlams] Clem?
[ComputerBeeps] [Stan] Gotit.
Mary's coming overtonight.
[Patrick] Yeah? Yeah.
Just thoughtyou'dwanna know.
[Patrick] Ilike Mary. I like whenshe comes to visit. Ijust don't thinkshe likes me.
She likes you okay.
Maybe I should invite my girlfriend over. I have a girlfriend now.
Do whateveryou want. Did I tell you I have--
[ Clicks Tongue] Yeah.
[Keyboard Typing]
Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
We gotta focus here, Patrick.
Yeah, the thing is,
our situation is-- is a littleweird.
My girlfriend situation.
I'm sure it is. [ Laughs ]
You gotta be--
[ Engine Starts ]
Clem, let me driveyou home.
Get out ofmyface, faggot!
Lookatit outhere! It'sallfallingapart!
I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!
You did it to me first!
I can't believe you did this to me. Goddamn it.
Clem! Can you hear me?
By morning you'll be gone!
The perfect ending to this piece-of-shit story!
[ Engine Knocking ]
[Patrick]Is theresomething wrong with a girlbeingattracted to me? Is that a problem?
[Stan ] No, I think it's... funny.
[Patrick ] So, who doyou think's better-looking, me or this guy?
[Stan ] Patrick, let's focus, buddy.
[ Patrick ] Remember that girl we did last week?
The one with the... potatoes?
[ Stan ] That girl? That's this guy's girl.
[ Patrick ] Right. [ Stan ] Yeah.
[ Stan Chuckling] Was. We took care ofthat.
Oh, God! Well, uh...
I kinda fell in love with her that night.
[ Laughing ] What? You little fuck--
What? She was unconscious, man.
Well, shewas beautiful, and...
I stole a pair ofher panties as well.
Jesus! What?
It's not like--
I mean, theywere clean and all. Don't tell me this stuff, man! I don'twanna hearthis shit!
[Patrick] Theywere clean! [Stan] What?D-Don't!Stop!
[Patrick] Okay. Yeah!Allright! [Stan ] We got work to do.
[ ComputerBeeps ] [Stan ] Give me mypapers.
[ Crunching ]
[Slurps ]
[Patrick] There's, um-- [ Sighs ]
There's more.
Afterwe did her, I kind of...
went to where she works andaskedher out.
[Stan ] You what?
[ Mutters ] Jesus. Jesus, Patrick!
Doyou have... anyidea...
how unethical--
[ Laughing ] It's not really that bad.
What? Get that look offyour face. What's wrong?
[Stan Continues, Echoing] Patrick,youstole a girl's panties!
[ High-pitched Giggling ]
[ Laughing ]
There's someone here.
He stoleyour underwear.
[ VoiceWavering, Electronically Altered ] I don't see anyone.
[Clock Ticking]
[TV: Man Talking, Audience Laugh Track] [Clementine ]Joel?
Where are myboots?
[TV: Man ] Whyareyou showing me poisons? Can'tyou understand English?
"Potions," I said. Potions.
[ Laugh Track Continues ]
[TV: Grandpa Munster] Love potion, please.
I'm fucking crawling out of my skin!
Should've leftyou at the fea market.
[TV: Grandpa Munster] First thing to do is--
[ Chuckles ] sift in a cup ofpowdered whale heart.
Wanna go?
I want to have a baby.
[ Chuckles ] Let's talk about it later.
No! I want to have a baby.
I don't thinkwe're ready.
You're not ready.
Clem, doyou reallythink you could take care ofa kid?
[ Scoffs ] What?
[ Mutters ] I don'twanna talkabout it here.
I can't hearyou. I can neverthe fuck understand whatyou're saying.
[Whispering ] I don'twanna talkabout this! Fucking ventriloquist!
We're fucking gonna talkabout it! I... don't... want... to--
You can't just say something like that and sayyou don't wanna talk about it!
[ Whispering ] I'm sorry, Clem. I'd make a fucking good mother!
I love children, I'm creative and smart, and I'd make a fucking great mother! Oh, God-- Mmm!
[Voice Echoing ] It's you,Joel. It's you who can't commit to anything!
It's going! It's going! You have no idea how luckyyou are I'm interested in you!
[Voice Fading, Echoing ] Maybe I should end this right here,Joel!
Leaveyou at the fea market with this stupid costumejewelry! It's done. This is crap.
Maybeyou could find yourself an antique rocking chairto die in! All the pain, confusion--
[Doorbell Rings]
Oh. Hi, Patrick. Hi, Mary. How's it goin'?
Hey,you. Oh, it's freezing outside.
[Stan ] Findus okay? [Mary] Yeah.
Mmm. Hot!
Poor guy.
Mmm? Oh.
Don'tyou have anything real to drink?
Uh, we haven't really checkedyet.
Patrick? Uh, yeah.
Uh, let me do the honors.
Mary hates me.
Never really had much luck with the ladies.
Maybe ifyou stop stealing their panties.
[TypingOn Keyboard] [Patrick Whispering] Stan. Stan.
There's more. No!
Yes. No!
Hey, hey! [ MockWhispering ] [Stan Laughing]
Oh, you didn't want any, did you, Patrick?
Uh, no, that's okay. Wait.
"Blessed are the forgetful, forthey get the better even oftheir blunders."
[ Clink]
[ Laughing ] Oh.
Oh! Oh!
[Patrick Laughing] Mmm!
[ Groans ]
That's Nietzsche. BeyondGoodandEvil.
I found it in my Bartlett's.
What's your Bartlett's?
It's a quote book, Patrick.
It's a book of quotations.
I think Howard will be in Bartlett's one day.
Definitely. Howard is pure Bartlett's.
[Crash ] [MaryLaughs ] God!
[Patrick Laughing] Can you wake him up?
[Patrick Laughing] You can't wake him up.
[Patrick Continues Laughing] [Stan Yells ]
Mmm.
[ Moans ]
You don't tell me things,Joel.
I'm an open book.
I tell you everything.
Every damn embarrassing thing.
You don't trust me.
Constantlytalking isn't necessarily communicating.
I don't do that.
I want to knowyou.
Hmm?
I don't constantlytalk. Jesus!
People have to share things,Joel.
Mm-hmm.
That's what intimacy is.
I'm really pissed thatyou said that to me.
I'm sorry.
Itjust-- reallyjust isn't that interesting.
[Clementine] I wanna readsome ofthosejournals you're constantlyscribbling in.
What doyou write in there ifyou don't have anythoughts orpassions or...
Iove?
[Joel's Voice ] November 1 9, 2003.
Dinner at Kang's again.
Are we like those poor couples...
you feel sorry for in restaurants?
Are we the dining dead?
I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.
[ Whispers ] I like that.
How's the chicken?
Good.
More? No. No. Thankyou.
[Joel's Voice] She's gonna be drunk andstupidnow.
Hey, would you do me a favor...
and clean the goddamn hair offthe soap when you're done in the shower?
Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It's really...
- Gross. - gross.
- It's just-- - Repulsive.
It's repulsive.
[Phone Beep Dialing]
[ Line Ringing ] [Stan ] Patrick, can we get through this?
Patrick.
[Patrick] Hey, Tangerine.
[ Clementine On Phone ] Oh, Patrick, it'syou.
[Sighs ] I'm so miserable right now.
[ Patrick ] Why? What's wrong? [ Clementine ] I don't know.
[ Voice Electronically Altered ] Excuse me? I'm so confused!
Can I helpyou findsomething, sir?
[Patrick ] Confused? What areyou confusedabout? Evertyhing's fine.
[ Voice Electronically Altered ] Baby, come here.
[Patrick] Scared ofwhat?
[ Clementine ] Doyou love me? [Patrick] Ofcourse I do.
[ Whispers ] Where's the self-help section?
[ Clementine Sobbing] Doyou think I'm ugly?
[Patrick] No! You're beautiful! [ Dishes Rattle ]
Maybe I should come over. [ Clementine ] No, no.
I don't know. I-I'm a mess, Patrick.
[ Patrick ] Well,just let me come over. I'll cheeryou up.
[ Clementine ] Okay.
Stan, can I leave for a while? My girlfriend's really upset.
We're right in the middle of erasing this poor man's--
[ Garbled ] Let him go, Stan!
[ Garbled ] Let him go. I'll help.
See? How hard can it be?
- She hates me. She wants me togo. - Go.
All right. I'll be right over, Tangerine.
You like?
[ Laughing ] Oh, man!
I matched my sweatshirt exactly.
I like it. Youdo?
You look like a tangerine. Ohh!
"Clemen-teen" the tangerine. Mmm! Juicy!
And seedless. I like that.
I like tangerines!
Can you see me doing ducks?
Tangerine. Joel. Ducks. Quack-quack.
How does he know to call you that? How did who know?
Oh, my God. Clem? [Mary] This isprettycool.
That's what they called themselves.
The Clash-- the only band that mattered.
They called themselves that for a reason.
It's amazing, isn't it? Like social justice-- Yeah, it's totally incredible.
What Howard gives to theworld.
Yeah. [Beeping]
To let people begin again.
[ Punches Keys ]
It's beautiful.
You lookat a baby, and it's so pure and so free and so clean.
And adults are, like, this mess ofsadness...
and... phobias.
Howard just makes it all go away.
Oh, myGod.
Baby, what's going on? I don't know. I don't know!
I'm lost, I'm scared,
I feel like I'm disappearing.
Disappearing? My skin's coming off!. I'm getting old!
Nothing makes any sense to me! You're notgetting old.
Nothing makes any sense. Nothing makes any sense. Ohh, Tangerine.
Nothing makes any sense.
Nothing makes any sense, Patrick. It's okay. It's okay.
Hey, let's go out dancing. Yeah? You wanna go out to Montaukwith me?
Montauk? Yeah.
No! Come up to Boston with me. Sure. Yeah. We can go next weekend.
No, no. Now. Now. Yeah. I have to go now.
I have to see the frozen Charles now.
**[Rock] [ Giggling ]
[AnsweringMachine:Joel] Hi, it'sJoel.
Um, leave a message afterthe beep and I'll get back toyou.
[Beeps ]
[Patrick OnAnswering Machine ] Pick up! Pick up, man!
W-W-W-W-Whoa. Hold on, hold on, hold on. [ Laughing ]
** [ Continues ]
Hello? Yeah, what's up?
I got into a little situation with the oldlady.
Can you handle things tonight alone? I'm really sorry, man.
Don't worry about it. I got it under control, man. [ Continues Giggling ]
He's pretty much on autopilot right now anyway. Thanks, Stan. I oweyou big-time.
Dude, I gotta go. I gotta go.
[ Muttering ] Charles.
Come on, Charles.
"Look! You and me on the Charles River. I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy. I've neverfelt that before. I'm just exactlywhere I want--"
I'm so excited. Yea. I'm excited too!
Cool. Oh, uh, I, uh--
I got you this...
What? thing, um--
Happy earlyValentine's Day.
Oh!
Wow. What is it?
Uh, I don't know. Open it up.
Oh.
It-- It's gorgeous!
- You like it? - Yeah. It's just my taste. Really.
I've never gone out with a guy who bought me a piece ofjewelry I liked.
Thankyou.
Let's go. Okay.
Joely? Yeah, Tangerine?
Am I ugly?
Mm-mmm. When I was a kid, I thought I was.
[ Sighs ] Can't believe I'm crying already.
Sometimes I thinkpeople don't understandhowlonelyit is to be a kid.
Likeyou don't matter.
So, I'm eight...
and I have these toys,
these dolls.
Myfavorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.
And I keep yelling at her:
"You can't be ugly! Be pretty!'
It's weird.
Like ifl can transform her, [Sniffles ]
I would magically change too.
You're pretty.
Joely, don't ever leave me.
Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.
[Joel's Voice ] Mierzwiak, please let me keep this memory.
Just this one.
[ Clementine ] I don't wanna holdyour hand. Come on.
Whoo! Whoa!
[ Clementine Whoops ] Stop it!
[ Clementine Laughing ]
I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just...
happy.
I've neverfelt that before.
Mmm.
I'm just exactly...
where I wanna be.
Clem?
I wanna call it off.
I'll giveyou a sign.
I wanna call it off!.
Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore!
I wanna call it off!.
[Stereo: Man] * Whenyouain'tgotnothingto do*
* I think I'llmarryyou**
[ Screaming ] Is anybodythere?
[ Loud Groaning ]
Clementine? Joel?
Clement-- Joely?
Clem! Joel?
Clem!
What? We gotta go. We gotta go.
What? Where? I have an idea ofhow to stop this.
Stopwhat?
Joely. Come on, Clem.
Smell my armpit! Smell my armpit! No!
Don't tickle me! Don't make me smell you. Smell my pits!
No. Good.
Concentrate, Clem.
We gotta get back to the office.
There was a tape recorder. No, not the picture.
Not the picture.
Where is it? Back here. Come on!
[ Clementine ] Oh, look at me. Hey, I look good there.
[Mierzwiak ] Look, ourfiles are confidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't showyou evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss, uh-- Miss Kruczynski...
was not happy and she wanted to move on.
Good. Now, tell me about Clementine. [Joel] Just tell me evertyhingyou remember.
That's what he said. Then-- What did we see that day?
No, wait. Oh, look! Hey!
Shit! We're going to see my grandma.
Joel, why-- No, I don't want to-- Joel, please! We're not going on a train.
Don't make me run anymore. Come on!
Mierzwiak!
Do we always have to run? Mierzwiak!
[DogBarking]
Please.
So, why don'twe begin byyou telling me...
evertyhingyou can remember.
[Joel] Mierzwiak! Wake me up!
Oh, I-I'm sorry, Mr. Barish.
I thoughtyou understood what was going on here.
I don't know. You're erasing her from me.
You're erasing me from her--
I don't know.
You've got this thing. I'm in my bed. I know it.
I'm in my brain.
I'm part ofyourimagination too,Joel.
How can I helpyou from there?
Uh, I'm insideyourheadtoo. I'myou.
[ Grunts ] Sorry.
Look. Who's that?
Oh, he-he works for us.
That's, uh, Pa-a-a-a-atrick,
babyboy.
He's stealing my identity.
He stole my stuff.
He's, uh, seducing my girlfriend with mywords and mythings.
He stole her underwear. Oh,Jesus Christ!
He stole her underwear.
[DoorCloses] I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy.
I've neverfelt that before. I'm just exactlywhere I want to be.
I want to go home.
Hey. What?
Clem! [ Grunting ]
Wait. Clem!
Clem?
They're erasingyou. [DogBarks]
I'm here! [ Screams ]
Clem, focus. I hired them, okay? [Laughing]
I'm so stupid.
Sweetie, calm down. Enjoythe scenery.
I needit tostop before I wake up andl don't knowyouanymore.
Okay, well, you know, just tell them to cancel it then.
What the hell areyou talking about? I can'tjust cancel it. I'm asleep.
Wakeyourselfup!
Okay. You want me towake up? Okay. Great. All right.
Okay, here we go. This makeyou happy ifl try? Yeah.
I'll try really hard. Herewe go. Thatwas a great idea.
Yeah. Okay.
Boy, that's working like gangbusters.
[MaryLaughs ] Don't! That tickles me! [Stan ] Oh, mygoodness.
Oh, my God. What is that? Jesus Christ! What the--
[ Mary] It's a birthmark!
It did work, for a second,
but I couldn't-- I couldn't move. See?
Oh, well, isn't that just another one ofJoel's self-fulfilling prophecies?
It's more important to prove mewrong than to actually--
Look, I don'twant to discuss this right now, okay?
Fine.
Then what? I'm listening.
I don't know. You erased me.
That's why I'm here. That's why I'm doing this in the first place.
I'm sorry. You-- You!
You know me. I'm impulsive.
That's what I love aboutyou.
[Beeping] [Clementine] Joel?
[Joel]Mm-hmm? Ihave anotheridea forthisproblem.
This is a memory of me,
the wayyou wanted to have sex on the couch afteryou looked down at my crotch.
What? Joel, the eraser guys are coming here,
sowhat ifyou take me somewhere else,
somewhere where I don't belong,
and we hide there till morning?
[ Sighs ] Oh, man. I can't remember anything withoutyou.
[ Scoffs ] Tsk, that's very sweet, but try, okay?
Okay.
* Row, row, rowyourboat gentlydown thestream*
* Merrily, merrily merrily, merrily*
* Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream *
* Row, row, rowyourboat* [ Both ] * Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily *
* Life is but a dream* [Boy] * Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily*
* Merrily, merrily merrily, merrily *
* Life is but a dream Row, row, row your boat *
It's working! * Row, row, row your boat *
* Gentlydown the stream** [ Clementine ] I'm a genius!
[ Giggling ]
Joel?
Joel?
Where'dyou go?
I'm supposed to come too!
[Woman ] Listen, I'mjust gonna go get a saladbowl. Canyoustirthe soup andkeep an eye onJoel?
[Woman #2 ] Sure. Hejust likes to be nearme.
Absolutely! Clem?
It worked. My God, look at this! Wow!
It worked! Look! Look at this dress, man!
Oh, my God! Look at it! I wish I could take it with me.
Who am I?
Mrs. Hamlyn. Right. Mrs. Hamlyn.
I must be about four. Oh, my gosh.
Found the salad bowl, so I'm serving salad and string beans.
Is he okay underthere? Peanut, areyou all right?
God, honestly, I feel like I could clean up all day.
Listen, would you hate me ifl asked you to clean some string beans? No, not at all.
Oh, my God. I love this kitchen.
Thankyouso much. She's not looking at me.
She's busy. She's not looking at me. [ Laughing ]
No one ever looks at me. I want my mommy.
Oh, babyJoel. Hey,Joely!Joely!
Is everylittle peanut underthere okay? Mm-hmm! He's fine.
Do you have something to drink?
Wouldyou drink a cocktail at this hour? I mean, I know it's not 5:00.
I would die for a vodka. Oh, hang on. Let me check ifl have that.
Okay! I'm just gonna wait right here. Joel! Hey, no, sweetie.
[ Grunting ] Uh,Joely.
Yourmotherwants me to mindyou. Get back underthe table. Ice cream.
Ice cream. No, not untilafter,you know, you've hadyour dinner.
[ Angry Grunt ] Come on,Joel!
Joel, grow up!
Don't leave me, Clem. Oh, my God, Clem. [Sobbing]
This is sort ofwarped. I'm scared.
[ Crying ] I want my mommy! Don't cry, babyJoel.
BabyJoel, it's okay. Joel.Joely.Joel!
Stop it!Look, I think it's working. Look, we're hidden,Joel. Look!
Hey, honey, look.
Wait there.
My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Yuck.
[Buzzing]
[Buzzing] It stopped.
What? It stopped erasing.
Oh, shit.
This is terrible.
He's offthe map. He's offthe map.
Where? I don't knowwhere! What doyou mean? I don't know where!
This is bad. This is very, very bad news. Where are my glasses?
Okay. Crap.
Okay. What do we do? What do I do?
What shall we do? I don't knowwhat to do. I don't know what to do.
- What shall we do? - Crap. Crap. I don't know!
- I just said that I don't know what to do. - I'm sorry. What do we do?
I don't know. Now, look,you're freaking me out. Mellow out.
Well, you have to do something. He could wake up all half-baked.
Quiet. You're freaking me out. Shh. Shh.
All gooey and-- and half-baked. Hmm, that sounds so good.
Oh, shit! I'm hungry.
Oh, shit. Oh! Oh!
What? Oh! What, what? What?
- We should call Howard. - No way. No, sir, man.
This is my-- I can handle this.
I can't call Howard. He's an unbaked cookie.
He's-- There's no time to fuck around.
I got this under control. What areyou talking about?
Stop fuckingaround! Okay, I'll call Howard.
[Phone Rings]
[ Rings ]
Hello. Hello, Howard? Hey, it's Stan.
Um, I'm working on this guy down here, and we seem to have lost him for a moment,
and, uh, I can't-- I can't bring him back up.
Okay, uh, tell me what happened before he disappeared.
Well, I wasn't sure, really, 'cause I was awayfrom the monitor for a minute...
and I had it on autopilot because I had to, uh--
I had to pee.
Where's Patrick? Patrick? Patrick had to go home sick.
Ah, geez.
Okay, what's the address? I know. I'm so sorry.
That's okay. Come on. [Stan ] I'm at 159 South Village.
Yeah. Apartment 1E. Rockville Center.
Mary? He's coming right now. Yeah?
I'm staying. [Bottles Clinking]
- Get your stuff, Mary. - I'm staying.
I thinkyou should go. Hell, no.
Mary-- Shit.
I am so stoned. Please, Mary.
You have to go. Stop being stoned, Mary.
I don't want him to see me stoned.
Mary,you have no idea howmuch trouble we're gonna get into ifHowardcomes-- I look like shit!
Joely, stop it!Joel! Look! Hey,Joel!
[ Blubbering ]
Joel! I want her to pick me up.
It's weird how strong that desire is. Joel, look at me! Look.
You'll remember me in the morning,
and you'll come to me, and you'll tell me about us, and we'll start over.
Pat? I just-- Pat?
I thought we could have a little cocktail.
That Patrick guy-- he's copying me.
What Patrick guy?
That guy! What?
He's here in my apartment.
He's one ofthose eraser guys.
He fell foryou when theywere doing you, and now he's introduced himself like he doesn't even knowyou,
and you guys are dating.
Really? Is he cute?
Clem, there's nothing wrong with you.
You're the mostwonderful person I've ever met.
You-- You're kind,
[ Sobbing ] beautiful...
and smart and funny...
and... nice.
What?
Okay. All right.
Okay. Oh!
Move, move, move! Come on. Let's go. Careful, careful.
Fine.
Oh, my God. I'm still stoned. [ Groans ]
Those eyedrops you gave me didn't do shit.
[ Chuckles ] [Doorbell Ringing]
[ Clears Throat]
Be cool. Cool.
Hello, Mary. What areyou doing here? Oh, hi, Howard.
Shewas just here to help out.
I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible.
I think it's important for myjob to understand the innerworkings...
ofthe work that we do.
Well, not that I do, but thework that is done...
by people... where I also work, the work of my colleagues.
All right, well, let's see ifwe can, uh,
get to the bottom ofthis, shall we?
Uh, yeah. Um--
Well, that's odd. I already tried that.
Did you try going through the C-gate? Yeah, ofcourse.
I mean... yes.
Yeah.
[ Clears Throat]
All right.
You want to get linked up? Yeah.
All right.
I already-- I ran the utility programs,
and I had nothing there,
so I checked all the memories against the printed logs.
Here, Howard. Okay.
I gotyou a chair. Thereyou go. Oh, thankyou.
You're welcome. Whew!
All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna go through the entire memory,
see ifsomething comes up.
* Oh, my darling Oh, my darling *
*Oh, my darling Clementine *
*You were lost and gone forever * I love being bathed in the sink.
* Dreadful sorry, Clementine ** Such a feeling ofsecurity.
I've never seen you happier, babyJoel. [ Giggling ] Hmm!
There it is.
I don't understand why it's offthe map like that.
What the heck was he doing there?
[ Grunts ]
[Gagging]
[ Coughing ]
His eyesare open.
- Has this happened beforewith him? -[Stan]No.
Oh, this is-- this is not good. No.
I'm gonna have to--
I'm gonna have to give him this.
[ Gasps, Panting ]
Can'tyou see I loveyou, Antoine?
[Mierzwiak] Okay, we're back in.
[Mary] Wow. That was beautiful to watch, Howard.
Like a surgeon or a concert pianist or something.
Thankyou, Mary.
Um, Howard, you should get some sleep. I-I think I'll be fine now.
Whycan'tyousee I loveyou, Antoine?
Hmm. Lucky me.
Lay one on me. [ Kissing Sounds ] [ Kissing Sounds ]
Don't call me Antoine.
Myname is Wally. Yes, Iknow,
but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?
Oh! Oh! What was that?
Hey. My God, there's people coming out ofyour butt.
There is? [ Giggling]
- Got it. - Tangerine!
[ Crying ] What,Joel-- What are you doing? We gotta go.
Go on. Please, please, go. Please go!
You can run, butyou can't hide.
Clem, come on!
There I am. [ Tires Screech ]
That truck.
Doc? Please.
[Distorted Voice ] Allright, let's begin byyou tellingme...
everything you remember--
That's strange. He's in a memory that we've already erased.
Oh, well, at least we know where he is. He's back on track, right?
[ Sighs ] Come on, Clem.
[Stan's Voice] Heseems to have developedsomesort ofresistance to theprocedure.
I don't want to run anymore. Shit.
Come on, come on. Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.
Where? Hide me in your humiliation.
Humiliation. [Boy] Come on,youbigbaby!
[Joel's Voice] I'msorry, okay?
[Angry Voices Overlapping]
[Joel's Voice ] Let me driveyou home. [ Child Yells ]
No!
-[Mary] Bye, Howard. - No, wait. Howard.
He's disappeared again.
Oh, dear. [Mary] I'm so sorry, Howard.
Humiliation.
Humiliation.
Hu-mi-lia-- Joel.
[ Sighs ] I don't like it either.
I'm just trying to find horrible secret places to--
Joel, honey, I have a surprise-- I just-- Oh, um--
Uh,you know what, honey? I'mjust gonna askyou in the morning.
[ Wheezing Laugh ] Goodnight, sweetheart.
[ Laughing Continues ] No.
I'm sorry,Joel.Joely. Shut up.
Look! Joel!
Joel, look! What?
Lookwherewe are!
Whoo!
Clem, this isn't good.
Then hide me somewhere-- somewhere really buried.
[Children Shouting]
Hit it! Hit it! [Joel ] I can't! I gotta go home.
I'lldo it later!
[ Shouting Continues ]
Come on, you big sissy!
[ Shouting Stops ]
[ Sobbing ]
[Children] Ooh!
Ooh, he has a girlfriend!
Wait. What am I doing? You know something, Freddy? Andhe loves her!
You don't scare me anymore. Ow! Ow!
[ Groaning] Joel!
Joely, get up. Come on, it's not worth it. Hit him! Hit him!
They're notworth it,Joel! Tra-la-la-la-la! He's not listening!
Come on,Joel. Stupid!
[Joel's Voice] I'm so ashamed. [Clementine's Voice] It's okay.
You were a little kid. Yeah?
Come on. That's where I live-- lived.
I wish I knewyou when I was a kid.
Do you like mypink hat? Here, look, feel better. You can really kill me this time.
It's my turn. Go. One, two, three. I can? You're really gonna die though.
Okay. One, two, three.
You're dead. [ Both Groaning]
Oh, my mom. It's-- It's okay. We're playing.
Hi,Joel's mom. He's killing me. It's not real.
Okay, are you deadyet?
You're dead! [ Grunts ]
Uh, I think I got the hang of this.
I still don't understand it, but I'm finding him quickly enough.
Clem! [Gasps]
Clem! [ Grunting ]
[ Muffed Grunting ]
[ Groans ]
[ Growling ]
Jo--Joely?
Areyou okay,Joel?
Joel? Joel? [ Laughing ]
Oh, myGod. Thatwas terrible.
Okay, okay. Thatwas like three seconds.
Allright. Letme do it one more time. One more, then I get to go.
Okay.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! [ Clementine Giggling ]
Look at this. This is so cool!
Cool. Look out! Look out!
Ah!
Shit! It's fuff.
Our house!
Come on. Whoo-hoo! Come on.
Come on. We gotta go!
Whoo!
Come on!
We gotta go. Clem?
We gotta go.
Aah! Come on!
No! This is a really bad time forthis!
Get offme! Oh, God!
I don't even know wherewe're going. It's gonna be fun. Come on.
It's the best place. No, this way. No, this way.
No, no, no. This way. You're no help at all. [ Shouts ]
What's wrong with you? [ Laughing ]
Let go ofme,Joel!
[ Grunts ]
I likewatchingyou work, Howard.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunts ] I guess, uh--
I guess I'll go out for-- for some air,
ifnobody minds.
It looks likeyou have everything under control here.
Yeah, that's, uh--
that's fine.
[DoorCloses] Doyou like quotes, Howard?
What doyou mean?
Oh,you know, like famous quotes?
I find reading them inspirational,
and in my reading, I've come across some I thoughtyou might like too.
Oh, well, I-- I'd love to hear some.
There's one that goes,
"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even oftheir blunders."
That's Nietzsche, right? Yeah.
And here I thought I could tell you something you didn't know. Oh, no.
It's-- It's a good quote. I'm happywe both know it.
Yeah. Oh, and there's this other one I like.
It's by Pope Alexander, and it goes--
AlexanderPope? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, shit.
It'sjust that I toldmyself not to say "PopeAlexander" andsound like a dope,
and then I go ahead and say it.
It's no big deal. You're such a sweetheart.
The quote goes, "Howhappyis the blameless vestal's lot?
"The world forgetting, bythe world forgot.
"Eternal sunshine ofthe spotless mind.
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned. "
I want to be a great big, huge elephant...
with a huge trunk like that.
Clem? Clementine?
I haven't heard that one. It's lovely.
I just thought it would be appropriate, maybe.
I really admire theworkyou do, Howard.
I don't mean to be so familiar. Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
I-I-I-I-I-- I'm happyto hear--
[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.
[ Sighing ]
I've loved you for a very long time.
I shouldn't have said that. Oh, Mary, no.
It's-- You're a wonderfulgirl.
But I-- You know, I have a wife and kids.
You know I have a wife and kids.
Oh, Mary.
Oh, Mary, we can't do this.
Oh, whoa.
Well, good morning, Mrs. Mierzwiak.
[ Honking ]
[Mary] What? Oh, myGod!
Who is it?
[ Sighs ]
Uh--
Thankyou, Stan. Thanks a lot.
Hollis. Hollis! [Engine Starts]
Hollis!
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hollis.
- I knew it, Howard. - Hollis, it didn't start out to be like this.
I came here to work. Hollis, this is a one-time mistake!
I'm astupidgirl withastupidcrush! Yeah.
I swear I basically forced him into it!
Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the girl.
Tell mewhat?
Oh, you poor kid.
You can have him.
You did.
What?
Oh, uh,
we have a history.
I'm sorry. Y-You wanted the procedure.
You--
You wanted it done...
soyou could get past, uh--
You could-- Yeah.
Um, I have to, uh, finish the work in there.
It's almost morning.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
[Stan ] Hey.
Let me giveyou a lift home.
Fuck this thing. Damn it.
Hi. Hi.
Didn't figureyou'd showyourface around me again.
I guess I thought you were... humiliated.
You did run away, after all.
Ijust neededtoseeya.
Yeah?
I'd like to, um,
takeyou out or something.
You're married.
Notyet. Not married.
No, I'm not married, no.
Look, man, I'm telling you right offthe bat I'm high maintenance,
so I'm not gonna tiptoe around your marriage...
orwhatever it is you've got going there.
Ifyou wanna be with me, you're with me.
Okay.
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them,
or I'm gonna make them alive.
But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace ofmind.
Don't assign meyours. I rememberthat speech reallywell.
I had you pegged, didn't I? You had thewhole human race pegged.
Hmm. Probably.
I still thoughtyou were gonna save my life,
even afterthat.
Mmm. I know.
Itwould be different...
ifwe could just give it another go around.
Remember me.
Tryyour best.
Maybe we can.
[ Mierzwiak] Okay, sojust tell me whatyou remember,
and, uh, then we'll take it from there.
[ Mary] Okay.
I liked you immediately.
Youdidn't come on to me at all.
Ilikedthat.
I was so tongue-tied aroundyou at first.
I wantedyou to think I was smart.
I couldn't wait to come to work.
I had these fantasies of us being married...
and having kids and...just--
Oh, Howie, I can't do this.
[Mierzwiak] We agreedit's forthe best, Mary.
[MaryCrying] Yeah, I know.
Oh, God.
I'll take the bottom and you-- Uh-uh-uh! No, no, no. Here.
I can take that. So you want me to carry that?
Help me with that. Can you get the cooler? Honey, the cooler is--
That's light, huh? Oh, I can get that. You can get it.
No, no, no, no!
Don't take anything. I can take the plane.
Put the thing up. Put the gate back up.
[Joel] This is the daywe met.
You were down bythesurf. I couldjust makeyou out in the distance.
I rememberbeing drawn toyou even then.
I thought, "Wow, how odd. I'm drawn to someone's back. "
You were in that orange sweatshirt that I would come to know so well...
and even hate, eventually.
At the time I thought, "How cool! An orange sweatshirt."
Hi there.
Hi.
I saw you sitting over here...
byyourself,
and I thought, "Thank God.
Someone normal who doesn't know how to interact at these things either."
Yeah.
I don't ever knowwhat to say.
I'm Clementine.
Can I borrow a piece ofyour chicken?
And then you just took it...
withoutwaiting for an answer.
Itwas so intimate,
Iikewewere already lovers.
I'm Joel.
Hi,Joel.
So, nojokes about my name.
You mean like-- * Oh, my darling, oh, my darling Oh, my darling Clementine *
Huckleberry Hound, that sort ofthing?
Yeah. Like that.
Oh, nojokes. Nojokes.
One ofmyfavorite things when I was a kid was my Huckleberry Hound doll.
Oh.
I thinkyour name is magical.
This is it,Joel.
It's gonna be gone soon.
I know.
What dowe do?
Enjoy it.
[ Clementine] You married? No.
Let's move into this neighborhood!
I do sort oflive with someone though.
Male orfemale? What?
Female. Female.
At least I'm not barking up thewrong tree.
You know these people? No, of course not. Come on.
They might have a dog.
[ Giggling ] There's no dog.
What areyou doing?
It's freezing out. I can't believe this.
Hoo-hoo!
- Clementine! - There we go. Whoo-hoo!
Come on, man. The water's fine.
Nobody's coming here tonight. Believe me.
It's dark.
So, uh, what's your girlfriend's name?
Naomi, but we're not really-- I mean--
We're-- [ Laughing ] Whatever.
So this is great. Now I can look for, um, candles, matches...
and the liquor cabinet.
Oh, God.
[ Tapping Phone Receiver Button ]
I think we should go.
There's no phone line. What?
I think we should go. Why?
It's our house... just for tonight. [ Sighs ]
We are "David and Ruth Laskin."
Which one doyou want to be? Uh--
I preferto be Ruth, but I can be fexible.
What areyou do-- [ Chuckling ]
Alcohol! Oh, boy.
So, areyou okaywith wine?
I don't know. Well, you choose thewine.
I'm gonna go find the bedroom and slip into something more... Ruth.
I'm Ruth-less at the moment. I reallyshouldgo.
[WindHowling] I've gotta catch my ride.
So go.
I did.
[Joel's Voice ] I thought maybeyou were a nut,
butyou were exciting.
[ Clementine ] I wishyou'dstayed.
I wish I'd stayed too. Now I wish I'd stayed.
I wish I'd done a lot of things.
Oh, God, I wish I had--
I wish I'd stayed. I do.
Well, I came back downstairs, andyou were gone. I walked out. I walked out the door.
Why? I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid.
I was like-- It was above my head. I don't know.
You were scared?
Yeah.
Thoughtyou knew that about me.
[Joel's Voice ] I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun myhumiliation, I think.
[ Clementine ] Was it something I said? Yeah.
You said, "So go"...
with such disdain, you know?
Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay.
Joely?
What ifyou stayed this time?
I walked out the door.
There's no memory left.
Come back and make up a good-bye, at least.
Let's pretend we had one.
Bye,Joel.
[Joel ] I loveyou.
[Whispering ] Meet me in Montauk.
[Rob]Ididn't crash theplane. Theplane crashed. I didn't crash theplane.
[Carrie ] You were operating the plane with the remote control, and then it crashed.
[ Rob ] It was fucking windy. Come on, man.
[ Carrie ] You're stoned, andyou're driving.
[ Rob ] Yeah, the pot balances it out. The pot brings you back up.
That's why I smoke it. IfI'm going to be drinking, then I'll smoke it.
It does. That's a medical fact.
It was proven on the Science Network.
[ Carrie ] Honey,just watch the road. [ Rob ] I can't see shit.
I saw you talking to somebody pretty.
She was nice. Yeah, man. Who was that?
She was, um, just a girl.
[ Beep ]
Okay.
[ Groans ]
[ Line Ringing ]
[Ringing Continues ]
So I gotta-- I gotta drop the van off.
Thanks, Stan. Thanks.
We'll talk. [Horn Honks ]
[ Van Door Closes, Engine Starts ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Sighs ]
Hey!
Hey.
You got a lot ofyour stuff there, I see. Yeah, that's right. My stuff.
I take ityou're not coming back. I wouldn't come back ifl wasyou either.
Do you swearyou didn't know? I-I swear.
So you didn't do the erasing? Of course not. God, no.
And you never even suspected we were together?
[ Sighs, Clears Throat] Once, maybe.
I was coming back from a job, and you were at his car.
I sawyou two talking.
So I waved toyou, and you giggled, you know.
How'd I look?
You looked happy.
Happywith a secret.
And afterthat?
I never sawyou two together again like that, so I just--
I don't know. I just figured I was imagining things.
[Man On P.A., Indistinct]
Aah! [Man On P.A.] Montauk train nowboarding on track "B. "Allaboard.
I really likeyou, Mary Svevo.
You know that?
Thanks.
Let me get my toothbrush.
Yeah.Just--
[ Beeps ]
[Patrick On Tape ] Where areyou, Clem? I'm worried.
La-la-la-la-la. I feellikeyou're madat me, and I don't know what I did.
What did I do?
I loveyou so much.
I'll do anything to makeyou happy.
Tell me whatyou want me to do, and I'll do it.
Listen, I'm gonna stop by this morning just to make sure you're okay.
Oh. Whew.
Vamonos, senor. [ Chuckles ]
I -I had a really nice time last night.
Nice?
I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life...
Iast night.
That's better.
This is weird. [Mary's Voice] Toallpatients ofDr. HowardMierzwiak.
Myname is MarySvevo. "We've met, butyou don't remember me.
[ Mary's Voice Overlapping ] I worked for a companyyou hired to have part ofyour memory erased."
Ihavesince decided that this is a horrible-- Some kind ofteaser ad or something.
[Mary] In orderto correct this, I'm sending everyone's file back to them.
[ On Tape ] Myname is Clementine Kruczynski.
I'm here to eraseJoel Barish.
What is this? I don't know.
He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone?
I've been thinking lately how I was before and how I am now,
and it's like he changed me.
I feel like I'm always pissy now. I don't like myselfwhen I'm with him. I don't like myselfanymore.
I can't stand to even look at him. That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile.
- That sort ofwounded puppyshit he does, you know? - What are you doing?
I 'm not doing anything. The bloom is certainly fucking offthe rose at this point.
- Are you screwing with me? - No!
- You are screwing with me. -Joel, I'm not!
- You clearly are. - Look, let's just take a minute and--
[ExasperatedSigh ]
[DoorCloses]
[ Panting ]
Patrick, get the fuckaway.
Oh, sweetheart-- Get the fuck away from me!
Can we talk about it? No! Get the fuck away!
[ Sobbing ]
[Sets Brake ]
Joel Barish.
Hey, Clementine. Hey.
Nice to seeyou. Yeah.
Yeah.
[Joel On Tape ] Reallyveryeducated.
I mean, she's smart, I think, but not educated.
I couldn't reallytalk to her about books,you know?
She's more of a magazine-reading girl.
Hervocabularyleaves something to be desired.
Sometimes-- I was embarrassed in public...
Hi. because she wouldpronounce...
Iibrary "libary. " Hi.
Libary. Libary.
Look what I found.
[ On Tape ] I think ifthere's a trulyseductive quality about Clementine,
it's that herpersonalitypromises to take you out ofthe mundane.
You made me look skinny.
Amazing, burning meteorite...
will carryyou to another world where things are exciting.
But whatyou quickly learn is that...
it's really an elaborate ruse.
I 'm sorry I yelled at you.
It's okay. So flashy in a kind ofobvious way.
But still, it seduces you. Joel, I really like you.
I hate that I said mean things aboutyou.
- Let me turn this off, okay? - Hey, it's-- it's onlyfair.
Where's the real Clementine?
I mean, the whole thing with the hair-- it's all bullshit.
- I really like your hair. - Thankyou.
I reallylikeyourhair. Thankyou.
I do. The world's a goddamn mess.
Is it some kind ofa revolt? Changeyourhair color. You want a drink or something?
Do you have anywhiskey?
No, I don't think hersex is... motivated.
I sawit clearly the last night we were together.
It wasn't sex. It wasjust sad.
Hey. Sorry. I thought there was more.
The only way Clem thinks she can get people to like her...
is to fuck 'em...
or at least dangle the possibility ofgetting fucked in front of'em.
And she's so desperate and insecure...
that she'll, sooner or later, go around fucking everybody.
I don't do that. I wouldn't think that aboutyou.
- Because I don't. - I know.
Because it reallyhurts me thatyou said that because I don't do that.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this. I'm gonna... go.
I'm a little confused. I don't really think I can be here.
Um... bye.
Bye. [On Tape ] I thought I knewherso well.
Itwas nice meeting you and all. But I don't knowherat all.
What a loss tospend that much time with someone,
onlyto findout thatshe's a stranger.
Wait.
What? I don't know.
Just wait.Just wait. What doyou want,Joel?
I don't know. I want you to wait for... just a while.
[ Quiet Sob ]
Okay. Really?
I'm not a concept,Joel. I'mjust a fucked-up girl who's looking formy own peace ofmind.
- I'm not perfect. - I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Right now I can't. But you will. Butyou will.
You know, you will thinkofthings, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped...
because that's what happens with me.
Okay.
Okay.
[ Crying ]
Okay. Okay.
[ Laughing ]
* Changeyourheart*
* Look aroundyou*
* Changeyourheart*
* It willastoundyou*
* Now, I needyourlovin'*
* Like the sunshine *
* And everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Mm-mm-mm *
* Change your heart *
* And look aroundyou *
* Change your heart *
* It will astoundyou *
* I needyour lovin'*
* Like the sunshine *
* And everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Mm-mm-mm *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Everybody's gotta learn sometime *
* Mm-mm-mm **
E=mc2
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