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Everyone Says I Love You

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Just you...
just me.
Letís find a cosy spot...
where no one can see.
Just us...
just we.
Weíve missed an awful lot...
what bliss itíll be!
Oh gee!
What are your charms for?
What are my arms for?
Use your imagination!
Just you...
just me.
Weíll tie a loverís knot...
just say you love me.
Just he...
just she.
And what a perfect plot...
just say you love me.
Oh gee!
Oh my!
Itís finally springtime...
birds-on-the-wing time...
and what a lovely day for love.
Just me...
just you.
Just you...
just me.
A bit of paradise...
right here for us two.
Just you...
Just me.
Letís find a cosy spot...
where no one can see.
Just us...
just the two of us...
just we...
mighty few of us.
Weíve missed an awful lot...
what bliss itíll be!
Just you...
just me.
Weíll tie a loverís knot...
just say you love me.
Thatís my sister Skylar and her boyfriend Holden.
And thatís me.
Iím Djuna: D-J-U-N-A.
Everyone calls me DJ.
Iím gonna level with you.
Weíre not the typical family from a musical comedy.
For one thing, we got dough.
And we live on Park Avenue in a penthouse apartment.
Dadís a lawyer. I mean, I call him ĎDadí, but really heís ĎStepdad.í
Because thereís original Dad, right...?
who married Mom, and they had me.
And then thereís Stepdad, who had 2 kids with his first wife...
Okay, look, maybe this is getting confusing for you.
You see, thereís Lane and Laura.
My half-sisters. Theyíre great.
A little twitty at times, but...
we love each other and have a million laughs together.
And my stepbrother Scott, whoís very smart...
but heís in trouble with the family because heís a Republican...
which made my stepfather have a stroke, since weíre Democrats.
How do you expect people on welfare to develop initiative?
You mean someone who canít work should just be discarded?
Welfare does not work. Itís the same liberal fantasy world...
as not allowing school prayer and coddling criminals.
I canít believe Iím having this talk with my own son.
Unless Republican pods in the basement took over your body.
Not pods, Dad.
Ideas. Virile, modern ideas.
A strong America. The right to bear arms.
Arms? Guns?
Are you crazy? Whatís up with you? I just donít understand you!
Relax.
Excuse me. Steffi, bring down a copy of my will and an eraser.
If Dadís a Liberal Democrat, then Momís even more extreme.
Sheís a guilty Liberal Democrat.
He grew up poor and knows what itís like to work like a dog.
Mom came from money and luxury and...
spends all her time doing volunteer work for everybody.
Sheís with the Civil Liberties Union and Save the Whales...
and raises dough for the Whitney museum and the hospital...
and sheís always doing something...
Iike throwing some chic soirťe to help the N. Y. Philharmonic.
Lane and Laura go to Nightingale, a ritzy school on 92nd street.
White truffles are so much better...
Better than dark truffles.
My God!
My God, there he is!
-Heís so gorgeous. -Who is he?
We donít know. We always see him round here.
Sheís in love from afar.
Weíll find a way to get her to meet him.
Please, no humiliating schemes.
My mom is in with a patient.
Claireís their best friend. Her momís a shrink.
Years ago, Claire drilled a hole in the wall.
We get our kicks after school by tuning in on her clientele.
Iíve been having these fantasies about...
other men and...
it makes me feel...
bad, and...
guilty.
I had that elevator dream...
again...
and...
Iím in the elevator and...
it just keeps going up and up...
and up.
Now you must meet Grandpa.
88 years old.
Found him at Grand Central. He thought he was in the park.
You must watch him.
Last year he wandered out in a towel...
and got in line in Times Square.
We sent Frieda to get him back.
Sheís our maid. I think she was Hitlerís maid at Berchtesgaden.
But sheís the only one who can handle Grandpa.
I found your arch supports...
in the stew. How did they get there?
Finally, thereís my dad, who lives in Paris, but visits a lot.
He and my stepdad are great friends.
I think he still loves Mom, though theyíve been divorced for years.
Theyíre all friends, and they come to each other with their problems.
I canít believe it. Giselle left me.
Look at this face.
She suddenly left me with my best friend.
No warning?
Nothing. The two of them... Did you ever see anyone so...?
Iím so distraught, over this, I canít tell you.
Iíll kill myself.
Iíll go back to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. Iíll be dead.
If I get the Concorde, I could be dead 3 hours earlier.
Or, wait a minute...
with the time change...
I could be alive 6 hours in New York, but dead 3 hours in Paris.
I could get things done, and also be dead.
You didnít see the signs. She must have given you some signs.
You think Iím an idiot?
What kind of signs? Finding his photo in her underwear drawer?
Or saying his name as she climaxed?
-I donít mean that. -No, thatís what happened.
I just couldnít put it together.
Iím glad you didnít marry her. I told you, ĎDonít do it.í
Iíd have been happy to.
Iím really glad. Want some wine or something?
Anything. I must have a drink.
You know whatís sad?
I thought everything was going well, that things were...
You always pick the wrong women.
-I picked you. -We got divorced.
You were impossible to live with.
I was impossible? I love this!
You couldnít decide whether to be a psychoanalyst or a writer.
So I compromised. I became a writer and a patient.
Wail find you someone. We know a lot of people.
Iíve been trying since we got divorced to find him someone.
Someone to match his personality.
Honey, bring another glass!
Iím wondering if the world female population isnít too limited.
-Youíve had rotten luck. -No, he hasnít.
He makes rotten choices.
But does he want to spend his golden years with someone?
Why my golden years?
You must think about those things.
Men age different to women. 2 more years, lilt look like your son.
That was so mean!
Donít you laugh.
-Thatís not funny. -Sheís got me in a home already.
Look, what about Madeline, after me?
She was an archaeologist. She was fabulous.
She was a nymphomaniac.
Okay, she had a problem with fidelity.
I didnít happen to see it. But she was brilliant.
What about Carol? What was her last name?
Carol was a poet and a member of Mensa.
She was a heroin addict.
Yes, but I thought it was insulin!
You know what the problem is? Listen.
This is the problem!
Heís still in love with you. I always said this.
Who can blame him? Of course he is.
-Thatís the problem. -Come here, my two men.
Iím pining after Giselle.
Wail find someone.
I donít know if we will.
-We will. I know. -This is the problem.
Whatís all the secrecy? Why Harry Winstonís?
I want you to help me pick an engagement ring for Skylar.
Congratulations.
You want an engagement ring.
Right, weíre getting married. Or I am, not to her.
I see. What size did you have in mind?
What size?
Well, I know sheís not huge.
Sheís not bony, either.
-Something simple but elegant? -Thatís it.
Simple but elegant. Exactly. I told you he was the guy.
Like this one.
God, thatís beautiful.
Itís perfect.
Itís the most beautiful ring I ever saw.
What would that cost? I like it.
$55,000.
$55,000, you said?
Let me take it off then, because I donít think...
Actually, as I look at it...
itís not to Skylarís taste. Itís tacky.
Sheís not a Mafia bride. Help me.
Hereís a lovely one.
That is pretty.
Whatíll it cost me? $1 ,500? $2,000?
$8,000.
Itís more in the ballpark, in the right neighbourhood.
-Not my neighbourhood, but... -Itís a better neighbourhood.
What the hell, right? Weíre getting married.
Letís do it.
I think itís an absolutely exquisite ring.
My baby donít care for rings...
or other expensive things.
My baby just cares for me.
My baby donít go for...
big Rolls-Royces.
Thereís sometimes a doubt about her choices.
My baby donít care to own...
some 14-carat stone.
Sheís sensible as can be.
My baby donít care who knows it.
My baby just cares for me.
Heís so happy since the day...
he fell in love in a real big way.
And the big surprise is someone loves him too.
Itís difficult for us to see...
just what she could possibly see in he.
But it simply goes to prove what love can do.
His baby donít care for shows.
His baby donít care for clothes.
My baby just cares for me!
Nobody else will do!
His baby donít care for furs and laces.
His baby donít care for races...
or high-toned places.
-My babyís not much for sports... -Gets out of sorts.
Like running round tennis courts.
I must say Iím glad that she...
Heís glad to say that she...
has made such a fine selection.
My baby just cares for me!
My baby just cares for me!
His baby just cares for...
My baby just cares for me!
Mrs Holden Spence.
Skylar Spence. I love it.
Heís taking her to Le Cirque tonight.
-No kidding? -I think heís going to propose.
And I introduced them.
Weíve heard it, Dad.
I did. He came to work at our law firm.
The first day I said:
ĎThis kidís great. His feet are on the ground. Heís perfect for her.í
Frieda, the pasta has no sauce.
Bavarian pasta doesnít need sauce.
Italian pasta needs sauce. The italians were weak.
Fine. Give me some pepper.
Your solution to rampant crime is just to let criminals go free?
No. Charles Ferry deserves a parole.
You want someone like this out on the streets?
Armed robbery, assault, attempted escape.
-He was an abused child. -Have some compassion.
He went to prison for life because of his horrible childhood.
Something you know nothing about.
-Then one mistake... -Are you kidding?
A bad trial, corrupt judges...
Calm down, both of you.
-I donít want to discuss this. -I canít listen to this.
-I need my wallet. -Whereíre you going?
The Polo Grounds. Giants and Cardinals are playing.
You canít go out. If you want to take a walk, go with Frieda.
But theyíre playing today, Labour Day.
Itís June, Grandpa.
The Polo Grounds closed years ago.
-Rained out? -Take him for a short walk.
No, Iím not going with Frieda.
No, no, not with her. I donít need a German Shepherd.
Take a nice walk.
You know what the kids say?
They think Holdenís giving a surprise to Skylar tonight.
If you keep gossiping about it, it wonít be a surprise.
I told you not to tell.
Iím going out. If Minnie calls, tell her Iím at the Polo Grounds.
Minnieís been dead 20 years.
Iím not arguing that. But if she calls, iíll be home later.
21 is too young to get married.
If this was anyone but Holden, iíd be against it.
No way Iím getting married till Iím 35.
Then Iíll probably live with a woman.
Why do you make these jokes?
You like Holden, right?
The problem is Skylar. Sheís a romantic twit.
Holdenís not romantic enough for her.
So what? Sheís going to marry him, right?
I hope so. I want her room when she does.
She should leap at this guy.
Skylar suffers from white knight syndrome.
Since her hormones kicked in, sheís hoped for some...
charismatic guy to sweep her off her feet.
So Holden is that young Lochinvar, all right?
Heís a young schnook.
Heís a schnook, but heís a loveable schnook.
What an endorsement! Iím never bringing a guy home.
In the first place, heís not a schnook.
Iím a dreamer...
arenít we all?
Just a dreamer...
arenít we all?
In my dreams, each night it seems...
my sweetheart comes to call.
Heís so charming, strong and tall.
Itís alarming howl fall.
Heís ideal.
But then he isnít real and Iím a fool.
But arenít we all?
Can I tell you how I see us?
How?
We get married and we live by my parents in Sharon.
I could never leave New York.
We leave my parents in Sharon, right? We live in New York.
Itís just that we may want more space if we have 4 kids.
I want two children.
Two is perfect.
Two is perfect for me...
because four is...
really a lot and...
youíll stay at home...
No, Iíll be working.
When not working full-time. Youíll have a career. Journalism.
Architecture.
Architecture? Since when?
I donít know, just some thoughts Iíve had.
I mean, you majored in journalism, but...
The important thing is...
that we agree on just about everything, it seems.
Shall I bring the dessert, sir?
Itís time for dessert? Yes, it is.
Excuse me a second. Iíll just tend to a small matter.
Itís ready, just as you wished.
Think itíll work?
Thatís perfect, Umberto.
Glad you like it, sir.
Let me show you my end of the deal.
Thatís a honey, huh?
Set me back a bit, I donít mind saying.
Iím sure. A brilliant idea. Very romantic.
Thatís the kind of guy I am.
I can see that.
Here we go. Iím just going to lay that right there.
Will that knock her socks off?
Shall we?
Go ahead. Iím relying on you.
Good luck.
Everything okay?
No problem.
-Shall we order dessert? -I did.
You did?
You like take-charge guys, and Iím coming through for you.
Itís not like you.
Anything for you. Umberto, will you do the honours?
My God, itís delicious!
Peach, my favourite flavour.
-Itís delicious. -What are you doing? Stop!
-Whereís the rest of it? -What?
The cream and the cherry!
-I ate them. -You ate the ring?
What?
-I bought you a diamond ring. -You did?
At Harry Winstonís.
Where is it?
It was on the dessert.
Why?
-I thought itíd be romantic! -To put a ring on ice cream?
It wasnít my idea, it was DJís.
She said it would give it dramatic flair.
I ate a diamond ring?
I turn round for 2 seconds and $8,000 goes down your throat.
Oh, my God!
Stay calm.
How big was it?
It was a big rock.
-I swallowed what, a carat? -A karat-and-a-half.
Youíd like two carrots?
Iím dying!
Youíre not.
Something wrong, sir?
Just swallowed a little jewelry, itís all right.
-How could you? -Enjoy your dinner.
How could l? Most people look at their food before plunging into it.
Let me check your mouth.
This isnít much of a problem.
Itís in an accessible place.
Itís an absolutely beautiful ring.
A brilliant choice.
Congratulations, girl.
It is beautiful.
Look, she got engaged.
What is it, two karats?
One-and-a-half.
White gold?
Solid platinum.
Thatís good.
-Harry Winstonís. -How much?
8,000.
I can get the same ring for you for 6 from my brother-in-law.
Youíre paying for the name.
Heís a wonderful man.
Am I going to scar?
Doctors look at X-rays but they seldom grin.
Iím always on the outside...
looking in.
Maybe thatís why I see the funny side...
When I see a fallen brother take a bride.
Weddings make a lot of people sad.
But if you're not the groom...
youíre not so bad.
Another bride, anothergroom...
another sunny honeymoon.
Another season...
another reason...
for making whoopee.
A lot of shoes...
a lot of rice...
the groom is nervous...
he answers twice.
Itís really killing...
thatís heís so willing...
to make whoopee.
Picture a little love nest...
down where the roses cling...
picture the same sweet love nest...
think what a year can bring.
Heís washing dishes...
and baby clothes...
heís so ambitious...
he even sews.
But donít forget folks...
thatís what you get, folks...
for making whoopee.
Just for making whoopee.
Heís washing dishes...
and baby clothes...
heís so ambitious...
he even sews.
But donít forget folks...
thatís what you get, folks...
Summer came, and Lane and Laura got jobs at the Met...
and spent weekends at the beach.
Mom organised a petition for Charles Ferryís parole.
Her new pet cause.
She even visited the prison and was appalled by the conditions.
What we need are open prisons.
Space where the damaged human spirit can heal.
Give them an opportunity to decorate their own cells...
with their own personal decorators.
And better cuisine.
European menus.
As for me, over the years I was used to splitting summers up...
July with Mom in New York, and August with Dad in Europe.
Usually it was Paris, but this time he took me to Venice.
I think he wanted to get over memories of losing Giselle.
All I can say is if weíre talking about romantic cities...
theyíve got the most gorgeous guys there...
and they canít keep their hands off you. Itís great.
The first week was just heaven for me. Having a ball...
sailing on gondolas.
But Dad just seemed to hang around the hotel.
Giselle was still haunting him.
Iím through with love.
Iíll never fall again.
Said Ďadieuí to love.
Donít ever call again.
For I must have you or no-one.
And so Iím through with love.
Iíve locked my heart...
Iíll keep my feelings there.
Iíve stocked my heart...
with icy frigid air.
And I mean to fall for no-one...
because Iím through with love.
I feel so guilty.
-You should have fun. -I am.
I still canít figure out what went wrong with Giselle.
I always thought she was a little flighty.
Want a drink? Iíll have a beer.
A Bellini.
Let me give you this advice.
When a relationship breaks up, and I hope they donít...
Better to be the leaver than the leavee, Ďcause the leaver leaves.
But the leavee is left.
Itís terrible.
The worst that happens to the leaver is a little survivor guilt.
Survivor guilt is the worst thing that should ever happen to you.
Tomorrow i'll spend with you.
Itís not necessary, really.
Donít turn round. That couple!
-Donít turn round. -Who?
I told you about her. I saw her check in the other day.
Sheís lovely, but I think sheís married.
Isnít she?
Oh, my God!
Beautiful, right?
I know who she is.
Youíre kidding.
Why didnít I think of it? Sheís perfect for you.
How can she be? Sheís married.
Not happily married. Youíd love her.
Who is she? Howíd you know her?
My friendís motherís her shrink. I know everything about her.
-Whatís her name? -I donít know.
What do you mean?
Whatís wrong with you? Stop teasing me.
Sheís an art historian, and sheís here to see the Tintorettos.
Know what Iím thinking?
Youíve got that look on your face.
She jogs every morning. You can bump into her.
No thanks. Sheís married.
Iím telling you, not happily married.
Complete mismatch. The guy is some actor.
He wonít interfere tomorrow, he sleeps late. No problem.
You can meet her. Sheíll be alone. I know it for a fact.
Iím out of shape. I canít jog.
I havenít touched my treadmill in weeks.
572 weeks, thatís 11 years.
Stop looking at me like that. I wonít do it.
Weíre going to get you some jogging clothes. Tomorrow...
She is really something.
Youíre going to jog.
Sorry, are you okay?
Yes, are you all right?
Do you know where the Hotel Gritti is?
I think itís that way.
Over there? Because I... jogging in Venice is so...
Labyrinthine.
You okay?
Yes, Iím fine. You must keep in shape. I jog every day. You?
I do.
Youíre American?
Itís a great country.
The mountains and the prairies...
the oceans, you know, white foam and everything...
Are you okay?
-Sit down. -No, Iím okay.
Just a chest pain radiating down my arm, but...
Thatís your heart.
No, itís stress. I get it every other day.
Whatís your name?
Here you are.
I was giving him directions. You okay?
You wanted to do 3 miles.
You okay?
-Yes, Iím fine. -Just breathe. Breathe.
I nearly died. Couldnít breathe. Then her husband showed up.
Her husband came? Thatís rare.
So is coronary thrombosis in our family.
Did you get her name?
Von. Vonnie.
Sheís passionate about Tintoretto. Sheís writing a book about him.
Sheís obviously here to visit the Scuola Grande di San Rocco.
I donít know what this means. Why all these art books?
Sheíll be at the Scuola. He wonít. They have nothing in common.
You bump into her. The groundworkís been laid. You say...
ĎDidnít we meet jogging?í
ĎThe guy with the stroke.í Sheíll remember.
Then you impress her with your knowledge of her favourite painter.
Youíre kidding.
My art knowledge is limited to Kirk Douglas as Van Gogh.
What do I know about this?
Trust me. Before we leave Venice, your lips will be pressed to hers.
Unfortunately I left my Chapstick in New York.
What is this?
ĎThe rapidity of his brush strokes...í
ĎChiaroscuro.í
ĎOutbursts of colour.í
I told Dad everything I knew about Von.
He studied his Tintoretto book.
I told him her likes, her dislikes, her deepest feelings...
everything from her passion for Bora-Bora and Mahlerís 4th...
to her favourite flower, the African Daisy.
I mean, everything.
When he went to the museum that day...
he couldíve given a course on the subject.
Hello again.
Goodness!
You lived. How are you? I was concerned.
No, no, I was fine. I went back to the hotel and...
had the concierge oil my pacemaker and, you know, l...
Incidentally, my nameís Joe Berlin.
Vonnie Sydell.
A funny coincidence. I see you here, two New Yorkers...
jogging in Venice and we bump into each other.
Howíd you know I was a New Yorker?
No, I didnít. I just assumed...
But youíre completely correct to ask that question.
Itís a good question. You shouldnít be ashamed of it.
I live on 84th and Riverside. Where in New York do you live?
In Paris. I was a New Yorker but I settled in Paris.
But I come back to New York all the time. I love it there.
What brings you here?
I wouldnít come to Venice without checking out the Tintorettos.
Because heís my favourite master in the world.
I just adore his work. Iím crazy about it.
He was a deep genius.
The deepest.
The rapidity of his brush strokes...
Chiaroscuro...
Outbursts of colour...
His capacity for controlled gesture...
Born in 1519, only to die again in 1594...
but thatís the way it happens to most of us.
You have a real appreciation of his work.
How could I not appreciate a man who was short in stature...
but with a proud and obstinate nature...
who painted outside the...
the academic conventions of 16th century Venice?
What do you do?
Call me Joe.
Iím a writer. A novelist, mostly.
Joe Berlin...
I saw one of your books.
I remember it had a very sexy cover.
It was at the stalls on 5th Avenue, the 99 cent bin.
You know, probably the get-acquainted price.
Theyíll do that.
In the United States Iím considered controversial...
but in Paris, where they have an ear for literature...
they were quick to recognise the genius of...
Poe and Faulkner and myself.
Basically, you see, Iím a simple guy.
My idea is just to live in Paris and maybe...
you know, fall in love and...
take walks...
in the rain and...
Listen to music like...
particularly maybe Mahlerís 4th.
This could be me talking.
Could it?
Mahlerís 4th, no question.
See, Iím not a...
what youíd call a technology guy.
I hate it.
I know, I can tell.
I still work on...
one of those old-fashioned portable typewriters...
So you havenít succumbed to the computer age?
I like the simple life. I like to sit at home in Paris and write...
maybe visit New York a certain amount, and in summer...
maybe spend some time...
someplace romantic, like...
Bora-Bora.
I love Bora-Bora. Since I first went, I still think about it.
Naturally, itís beautiful.
At night, the stars are so luminous you can practically read by them.
Read by them, yes.
Are you okay?
You got a...a little...
mist appeared in your eye then.
I thought you were going to cry, I swear.
No, Iím okay.
Is something wrong?
Whatís wrong?
Nothingís wrong. Somethingís exactly so right.
Wait here. Iíll be right back.
All my life...
Iíve been waiting for you.
My wonderful one.
Iíve begun living.
All my life...
All my love...
has been waiting for you.
My life is sublime...
now that Iím giving...
All my love...
I got you a present.
An African Daisy. My favourite.
What are you doing tonight?
I think Greg and I have plans.
Howíd it go?
She was great. Whatever you told me was right on the money.
I feel guilty.
Why?
Because I made her cry. She said she felt close to me.
So? Youíve established a beachhead. Now win the battle.
Remember to blow between her shoulder blades. She goes crazy.
I wonít do it. Whatís between her and her shrink is private.
Are you going to give me a map of her erogenous zones?
Are you seeing her tonight?
No. Sheís married.
Listen, I donít know Bora- Bora from Walla-walla.
What do I know about Tintoretto?
I canít tell the difference between chiaroscuro and spaghetti sauce.
Remember to blow between her shoulder blades.
I wonít do it. Plus, I use a word processor, not a typewriter.
I hope you have something great to wear. Thereís a party tonight.
Party?
I want to introduce you to someone.
Dad...
this is Alberto.
Nice to meet you.
Hello. Who are all these people?
Venetians. Friends, guests in town.
Enjoying your stay in Venice?
Itís the best. Sheíll tell you.
Dad, you should be the first to know.
Weíre getting married.
Wonderful. Tell me what century and iíll rent a tux.
This January.
Pardon me?
This January.
Youíre joking.
Iím in love with Djuna.
We all love her, because sheís adorable, but you are...
This is a jest.
January 15th, to be exact.
Itís his motherís birthday.
A joke, am I right?
Not at all.
Excuse me a second.
Come. I want to talk a minute.
What are you talking about?
Sorry.
Tell me itís a joke, or thereíll be carnage.
Weíre crazy about each other.
How can you be...? You met this guy 5 days ago.
So?
Are you having a breakdown?
Why, because Iím in love?
What do you mean, in love? What does he do?
Heís a gondolier.
One of the guys with a striped shirt and a hat?
No hat.
-What do you mean? -He doesnít wear a hat.
This is crazy! What are you gonna...
Talk to me. Youíre talking about getting married?
Thatís insanity!
Why?
ĎCause youíre going to school, to Columbia.
Youíre going to major in journalism or law, not rowing.
People have dropped out of Columbia before.
Youíre not going to run off with a guy you just met...
and whoís a gondolier.
Heís a poet.
A poet?
Know what rhymes with gondolier? No Lira. Okay?
So forget it.
Hello again. God, what a coincidence.
This is Joe, Greg.
How are you?
-The one with the heart attack? -That was me.
Is Bernardo Bertolucci here?
-I wouldnít recognise him. -I have to meet him.
Mind if I go on?
-Itís a madhouse. -IíIl get you a drink.
-Incredible. -Is it?
Have you seen this place?
Itís unbelievable.
The whole thing is like an old palazzo.
And itís really beautiful. But itís frantic in there.
You look great.
Donít say that.
Why?
I canít take a compliment.
Youíre terrific. Why not? Iím sorry.
No, itís my problem.
Why? Does it make you feel guilty?
Maybe. I donít know. Youíve got all the answers.
I think it makes you feel guilty.
You must have fantasies of...
maybe someone coming along that...
You probably have dreams about boats...
or ships maybe, or even...
an elevator that...
Youíre on an elevator that goes higher and higher to the top floor.
And then it doesnít stop, it just goes...
through the roof and...
it sort of flies you over the ocean...
I think Iím going to faint.
I do.
Are you okay?
Iím a little overwhelmed and...
Iím glad youíre leaving tomorrow.
Next morning, we left Venice.
Dad flew to Paris, I went to New York.
I couldnít wait to tell Mom about marrying Alberto.
He was so beautiful, so sensitive.
My plan was to leave Columbia and go to Italy after the fall.
Excuse me, thatís mine.
Iím sorry.
Iím sorry. Itís not mine.
We both shop at ĎHunting World.í
Thatís where I got it.
Now I know itís mine.
Iíll give you a hand.
Bra, underwear.
Petrarch's sonnets.
What do you do?
Depends on the guy.
No, just kidding.
I work for the Columbian drug cartel.
I gift-wrap the cocaine.
Why am I so nervous? I study at Columbia.
Is that right? My uncle teaches there.
Math department. Iím Ken Grisley.
Djuna Berlin.
Do I want to spend my life making pasta and riding in gondolas?
The truth is, those canals are awfully polluted.
Alberto was cute, but Ken was...
hot.
Cuddle up...
a little closer.
Lovely mine.
Cuddle up...
and be my little clinging vine.
Like to feel your cheeks so rosy.
Like to make you comfy-cosy.
ĎCause I love you from head to toesy.
Lovely mine.
While i'd been away, an awful lot had happened.
Mom bought Skylar a drop-dead wedding dress.
Holdenís father and my father made friends.
They discovered a common interest - horse racing.
So they chipped in and bought a thoroughbred.
And Lane and Laura had a great summer at the beach.
But one hot weekend, with everyone else out of New York...
they found themselves in town.
Weíre probably the only ones in the city.
We usually go to Southampton, but we have tickets to a show.
I love the city when itís empty.
Me too.
Me too.
To make a long story short, theyíve all become close.
His name, if you can believe it, is Jeffrey Vandermost.
Heís heir to the Vandermost millions.
They both love him and one of them'll have a broken heart.
Fall was especially beautiful this year.
I like it better than spring.
And with October comes Momís birthday.
This year we invited Holdenís parents to celebrate.
But just before they arrived we had an unexpected visitor.
Happy birthday!
These are from my biological father, all the way from Paris.
-Look, everybody! -Know what it is? Caviar!
Could you put this on ice, Frieda?
-Are you expecting a Mr Ferry? -I am, yes.
You are?
He just got out of prison. He has no family...
but we can be his friends.
Youíre letting a criminal in our house?
Heís paid his debt to society.
-He has not paid... -Donít start.
Society forgave him his debt, he didnít pay his debt to society.
Howíd I get a kid on the other end of the political scale? I failed.
You didnít fail.
If I was you, iíd hide the silverware.
Donít be rude. Heís coming for just a drink.
You guys have everything.
Mr Ferry, hi. Iím Bob Dandridge. This is my wife, Steffi.
Hello, Mr Ferry. Welcome to our home.
Iíd like you to meet my daughter, Skylar.
This is Skylar, and her fiancť, Holden.
-Iím the fiancť. -Can I get you something?
Nobody gets behind me.
Right, sure. Can I get you a drink?
Vodka.
Right, well, maybe on the...? Or just...?
Straight up.
Honey, Mr Perr...Ferry. Sorry, heís lived among vicious killers.
-You said it. -No wonder heís skittish.
A lot of times a guy'll come up behind you and swish.
You must get your blade out quick. Stick him or youíre dead.
God! Have you stuck a lot of inmates, Mr Ferry?
Enough.
The doorbell.
Excuse me, I need to get in front of you here.
Would you like another?
Hi. Hello. How are you?
Happy birthday, Steffi.
Thank you, Lynn. Thanks for coming.
I have someone I want you to meet, Mr Ferry.
This is my good friend, Lynn.
And Arnold. This is my friend.
Mr Ferry is just out of prison.
Parole came through, but iíd have got out anyway.
-Really? -What do you mean?
Ice the guard. No pictures, sister.
What do you mean?
Ice him, and get out through the air shaft.
Get behind him with a box cutter, rip out his carotid artery.
May I have a glass of white wine?
We have some inside.
You must be careful though.
Guy on Cell Block 4 tried it and didnít have the angles figured.
Got his tit caught in the wringer.
-Take him on the terrace. -I need to sit down.
Yes, the terrace. Big, wide-open spaces.
You sure this guy is rehabilitated?
He was in prison, not a finishing school.
You know my sentiments, but very happy birthday.
A birthday song for Steffi.
Looking at you while troubles are fleeing...
Iím admiring the view...
ĎCause itís you that Iím seeing.
And the sweet honeydew of well-being...
settles on me.
What is this light that shines when you enter...
Iike a star in the night?
And whatís to prevent her from destroying my sight...
if you centre it all on me?
Looking at you, Iím filled with the essence of...
the quintessence of joy.
Looking at you, I hear poets tellin' of...
Lovely Helen of Troy.
Darling, life seemed so grey...
Iíve wanted to end it.
Till that marvellous day...
you started to mend it.
And if you'll only stay...
then iíll spend it with you.
Sweetie.
Iím gonna get some drinks. Want anything?
No thanks, but can you get Steffi's present from the car?
Here.
Enjoying the view?
I like any view after years in that stinking rat hole.
Very vividly put. Sweetly honest.
You know what solitaryís like?
No, I canít say I do.
I went to NYU. I didnít live in the dorm.
Been a long time since I smelled perfume.
Do I have too much on?
You smell like what I think heaven would smell like.
Well, thank you. Very nice.
When you shook my hand...
I thought my heart would stop.
Oh, thatís sweet.
But remember, youíve been deprived of female contact.
I used to lie in my cell and dream of someone like you.
I took a Criminology course at college. Very insightful.
You got very sensual lips.
Itís a part of me I rarely think of.
Can I smell your hair?
Smell my hair? Okay.
You know what? it'll be gone soon. Iím thinking of cutting it.
Holden might like that.
If you were my girl...
Itís a little chilly outside.
Iíd make love to you in every room in the house.
On every bed.
On every rug.
On every tabletop.
We also have some lovely Early-American chandeliers.
Letís go for a drive.
I donít think itís such a good idea.
I havenít seen the ocean or been to Harlem or Chinatown in years.
No, itís out of the question.
Okay, but you canít blame me for trying.
No, I think we should go inside before...
Before what?
Before you break your parole.
If I took you in my arms and kissed you, would you dime on me?
Dime?
Turn me in.
Letís not find out.
How was it?
Very interesting.
Iíve never been kissed by a sociopath before.
I kissed you the best I could. The only practice I had in 10 years...
is with Vincent ĎThe Thumbí Adatto.
Vincent ĎThe Thumbí doesnít know what heís missing.
Can I see you again?
You know Iím getting married.
I could show the world how to smile.
I could be glad...
all of the while.
I could change the grey skies to blue.
If i had you.
I could leave the old days behind...
Leave all my pals, iíd never mind.
I could start my life all anew.
If i had you..
I could climb the snow-capped mountains...
sail the mighty ocean wide.
I could cross the burning desert.
If i had you by my side.
I could be a king, uncrowned...
Humble, poor, rich, renowned.
There is nothing I couldnít do.
If i had you.
Heís en route to New York now, and heís wonderful.
Itís been like...
a chance meeting after all these years with a true soul mate.
He senses my every need. Like he knows what Iím thinking.
Itís your fantasy come true.
It is. I still canít believe it.
You know, itís not that heís tall...
or handsome, but heís...
Heís magical.
And he feels me in a way no man ever has done before.
Heís romantic and sexy and...
I had this dream...
that I was in bed with him...
and he was kissing my earlobes...
and then he started stroking my shoulder blades.
And I nearly had an orgasm.
I had a lot of neat stuff to tell Dad.
Heíd really made a big score with Von.
But now i've got to stop for a minute...
because no matter how we humans like to think we control things...
thatís not how it works.
Suddenly, with no warning...
Grandpa died.
It was in his sleep, peaceful, with no suffering...
but it made philosophers of us all.
When your number is up, your number is up.
Thatís why itís important that...
we cherish each moment of our lives.
And not smoke.
Smoke?
Pop smoked for 70 years, you know?
He never exercised. He ate cholesterol and fatty foods.
He died at a healthy, ripe old age.
I havenít had steak for so long. I love steak.
Thatís disgusting.
Iíd kill for some marbleised meat.
Now they say 6 cups of coffee a day...
prevents colon cancer.
Last week it was bad for you.
Whatís it all about? I mean, what...?
What are we doing? Weíre rushing!
Thatís right.
Where are we going?
Into the void.
-The void. -Thatís it.
-I never believed in God. -Oh, come.
No, I didnít, even as a kid. I remember I used to think...
ĎEven if He exists, Heís done such a terrible job...í
Ďitís a wonder people donít file a class action suit against Him.í
You shouldnít say that.
Weíre not here just because of the new physics.
You must believe in something.
The dignity of man.
The flat tax, the right to bear arms and school prayer.
If nobodyís out there, whoíre they praying to?
Donít start arguing in front of Grandpa now.
I canít believe you.
One moment. He wasnít an atheist or a Republican, or a Democrat.
He mustíve been something.
He was a foot fetishist.
The only group I remember he belonged to.
-Thatís true. -It drove your mother crazy.
Pop, is that you?
I have one message for you.
You work and work for years and years...
always on the go.
You never take a minute off...
too busy making dough.
Someday, you say, youíll have your fun...
when youíre a millionaire. Imagine all the fun youíll have...
in your old rocking chair.
Enjoy yourself...
itís later than you think.
Enjoy yourself...
while youíre still in the pink.
The years go by...
as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself...
itís later than you think.
Another birthdayís here and gone, youíve turned another page.
Suddenly you realise...
that youíve reached middle age.
Think of all the fun youíve missed, makes you kind of sad...
Itís better to have had your wish than to have wished you had.
Enjoy yourself...
itís later than you think.
Enjoy yourself...
while youíre still in the pink.
The years go by...
as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself...
itís later than you think.
That was ...
unbelievable.
Just every...
thing you did...
and all the...
things you did.
Absolutely perfect.
Actually, it wasnít perfect.
At one point I stroked when I should have hick eyed...
but you know, I apologise.
I feel limp.
You know, Iíd really love you to come to Paris with me.
Iím serious.
Paris?
And then Bora-Bora?
Well, yes. Bora-Bora, but Paris first and then...
weíd work our way down to at least one of the Boras.
We can live in your garret.
Technically, when I say garret...
it is a garret, yet...
And drink wine and eat snails till the dawn comes up.
Snails?
Remember? You said you also loved waking up in the night...
drinking wine and eating snails.
I said it was such a coincidence.
Well, theyíre molluscs.
I love a good mollusc.
What? The weddingís off?
Exactly. I gave back his ring.
Why?
Thereís someone else I canít get out of my mind.
But youíre in love with Holden.
No. At least, Iím not sure.
And I canít cheat on him while I decide.
Cheat? Heís going to be your husband!
In November. Iíll show you the receipts from the caterers.
Calm your denial mechanism.
Holden is wonderful, but someone else came into my life.
I must see where it goes. It'd be unfair to Holden if not.
Now weíve bought the wedding dress...
tell us who this new Prince Charming is.
You donít know him. Well, you do, but not like I do.
Iím sick.
My oesophagus is in spasms.
Go have a drink of water.
Look what youíre doing to your father.
Who has come between you and Holden?
Well, heís bright and charming.
Rough on the outside, but that can change.
Who is it? Will you tell us, or is this like a game show?
You remember Charles Ferry?
Pardon me?
For a minute I thought she said Charles Ferry.
Now my oesophagus is starting to move.
The escaped convict?
Ex-convict. He has a college degree.
This is a psychotic episode.
You need shock treatment, or industrial-strength Prozac.
Mom, you understand.
Heís incredibly animalistic.
So we turn him over to the zoo.
And yet, heís a child.
Okay, weíll make it the childrenís zoo.
Heís a criminal!
Iím shocked. Youíve been singing his praises for months.
As a social symbol, not as a person to be with my child...
How are you going to go out with this man?
You canít get behind him. He wonít let you.
You scratch his back, heíll knife you.
Under all that veneer is a very soulful young attorney.
I was hoping youíd find a place for him in your firm.
Sure, as treasurer. With Holden.
Speaking as a woman, Holden can be very animal, too.
Yes, Mom, but itís of the gerbil family.
As your father, I forbid you to see this man Charles Ferry!
You will marry Holden!
As head of this house, I command it! I decree it!
Thou shalt wed thy intended!
Okay, letís get a drink.
You sound tiresomely Biblical.
ĎTiresomely BiblicaIí? is this Noel Coward with hockey?
-I wonít let her waste her life. -Sheís a grown woman.
You!
You got him out of jail!
This is my fault now?
Honey, whatís wrong?
Jeffrey Vandermost asked Lane out, not me.
My God! How will I face Arnold and Lynn Spence?
Is that all youíre thinking about?
We bought a racehorse together. Heíll want to cut it in half!
We both liked him, and today...
he asked if we could talk alone so I got all excited.
Then he asked me if I thought Lane would go out with him...
to a dance in Connecticut.
He has a mad crush on her.
These things happen.
Feelings are feeling and sometimes...
Iím through with love.
Iíll never fall again.
What are you saying? Youíre 14! Youíll fall again.
Look, guys, Iím sorry.
I thought youíd be happy for me. I hope in time you understand.
Iím through with love. Iíll never fall again.
What are you singing about? Youíre not in love with Holden!
Iím through with love.
Iíll never fall again.
said Ďadieuí to love...
ĎDonít ever call again.í
Incidentally, while Skylar was breaking up with Holden...
I broke up with Ken, the one I met at the airport.
Because I met this rap singer.
This guy is just so talented and sexy and...
he just says it all.
Iím through with love and through with all you motherfuckers.
Feeling mad shitty? Burn down the city!
Take it over for the brothers.
Burn it up! Come on! Blow it up!
Your eyes of blue...
your kisses too.
I never knew what they could do.
I canít believe...
that youíre in love with me.
I love the country. The air smells so fresh.
Charles...
where did you get the money for everything, and the car?
You know. Loans.
Itís a great idea to take a walk here. Itís beautiful.
Yeah. What time is it?
Four o'clock.
Oh, good.
Just thought youíd want to walk around and see the fall leaves.
They are stunning.
Amazing what you miss in the joint. No seasons. A grey nothing.
What are your plans? Not to work in the restaurant forever.
Youíre right. Work all day for a few lousy bucks? I got big plans.
Like pursuing a law career?
What?
A lawyer?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
You hear something?
A bird?
Here they come. Timingís perfect.
Iím running as fast as I can.
Move it!
Gotta get out of here!
Iím going!
Back in action!
-Way to go, Ferry! -Got anything lined up?
Whoís she?
Sheís a friend.
Whyíd you shoot? He was emptying the register.
Take it easy! I got nervous!
Just let me out at the corner of Park and 93rd.
Let me out! I want out of this car!
Shut up!
Iíll be quiet! Just let me out!
Shut her up, or I shut her up.
Get out!
By October, Von had gotten up the nerve to leave Greg.
She got a ticket on Air France and took the first plane to Paris.
Dad had given up his flat on the Left Bank...
moving into a place he knew would be Von's Parisian fantasy.
He began guitar lessons...
and even exchanged his word processor for an old typewriter.
Iím so happy to see you.
God, look at your place!
This is out of a movie. Or a... This is like my dream.
This is my dream apartment. My dream view, right here.
Back in New York, it was Halloween.
Thatís my favourite holiday.
All the kids in the building come trick-or-treating and...
they all just look so great.
What a little moonlight can do.
What a little moonlight can do to you!
Chinatown, my Chinatown...
where the lights are low.
In some secluded rendevouz...
Iím Chiquita Banana and Iíve come to say...
bananas have to ripen in a certain way.
When theyíre flecked with brown and have a golden hue...
bananas taste the best and are the best for you.
You can put them in a salad.
You can put them in a pie...yie-yie!
Any way you want to eat them.
Itís impossible to beat them!
But bananas like the climate...
of the very tropical equator.
So you should never put...
bananas in the refrigerator.
No, no, no, no!
That was great. Terrific.
Would you like some candy?
What a banana!
Iím so happy to see you!
I wasnít sure. I was worried.
Holden, Iím so sorry.
It doesnít matter.
-I behaved terribly. -It was me, too.
-No, it was me. -I missed you.
Me too.
I brought you some Cracker Jack.
He was so in love with my sister...
that it didnít matter that Sheíd given him a hard time.
And Mom and Dad were so glad to see them reunited.
He gave her back the ring, but he wanted to be romantic.
So he put it in the CrackerJacks and she swallowed it again.
The rest of fall was normal...
for us.
The only glitch was on Thanksgiving.
Just after dinner...
Scott suddenly collapsed.
Everybody panicked.
Thereís no cause for alarm.
There was a blockage in the artery, but itís been dissolved.
Thereís no problem?
No, heís fine. 100% .
Our scan indicated that the condition began some time ago...
so if heís shown any kind of strange or weird behaviour...
Itís because his brain wasnít getting enough oxygen.
But as soon as his brain started functioning properly...
Scott resigned from the Conservative Republican Club...
and started espousing left-wing Democratic philosophy.
Dad was overjoyed. Just as proud as can be.
Remember I said New York was most beautiful in fall?
I meant the winter.
At least, when it snows. Because Under a blanket of snow...
New York is truly gorgeous and...
surprisingly peaceful.
But when Christmas comes...
weíre not the kind of family that sings carols...
and we donít have a goose or anything.
What we do is head for Paris, to spend Christmas at the Ritz.
Put your finger here.
He has a fever...itís a cold.
Should have put on dry clothes after you fell in the fountain.
Iím okay. Go without me. Iíll be all right.
We donít want to go without you. You love the Marx brothers.
I just need some sleep. Iíll be fine.
Iím so excited.
Iím meeting this guy named Guy... or this guy named Guy.
I brought you some tea.
It wonít keep me awake, will it?
No, itís herbal. Itís peppermint.
Iíd say hello, but Iím sick and you always catch everything.
-What happened? -Whatís wrong?
Iím not going tonight.
I knew it!
-Nobodyís going? -Von left me.
-What happened?
I have no idea, but sheís on her way back to New York.
When she first came, everything was perfect.
She said it was like a dream had come true for her.
And then, suddenly...
this morning...
I want to go back home...
to Greg.
Really?
I donít know whatís up with me.
Since when?
I donít know.
Why?
I donít know how to explain it exactly.
Just tell me. You know, just...
Itís not that I donít think youíre great.
I think youíre great.
Just for years i've been married to Greg.
And he can be difficult, and weíve had...
our ups and downs...
certainly.
Since when...?
Look, I donít know. Itís just...
Iíve always had this fantasy...
that one day iíd meet the perfect man...
and heíd fulfil my dreams and I would have...
a perfect life.
And that fantasy...
I think, always sort of...
was part of this dissatisfaction I had with Greg...
and my life.
And then you came along...
and you seemed to know every secret thing about me.
Let me put it this way...
I have seen my dream come true...
and my fantasy...
no longer tortures me.
I can deal with it.
But thatís so neurotic.
I know.
Iím crazy.
But suppose I said to you that...
none of this was really true, that this is all...
a faÁade iíve been putting on.
That somehow I had access to...
your deepest feelings, needs and thoughts...
and that I've been playing this character just to...
win you over, to get you to like me, make you happy?
If thatís what you told me...
then I'd say you were crazy.
So thatís exactly why Iím not going tonight.
I plan to go to Napoleonís tomb. To lie down next to him.
-Thatíll be my Christmas Eve. -Thatís so sad!
The women you pick!
No, youíre going out. Someoneís got to take Mom.
Youíre too sick?
-He looks terrible. -Iím fine if I donít move my eyes.
He has a 101 temperature. Youíre not going anywhere.
Iím not in a Groucho mood.
Itís Christmas Eve, itís Paris. Thereís a ball...
that you helped organise.
Iíll go for a couple hours.
Enjoy yourself.
I must stay here, but thereís no reason you donít go.
Itís later than you think.
Remember our first Christmas in Paris...
the month before we married?
I do, because that was when...
I knew that someday I would have to live there.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I donít want to panic you, but that was decades ago. Decades.
I know. I know it was decades ago.
Remember that cafť we used to go to?
Cafť TerŤse or whatever, with the cats. Remember?
Now iíll tell you the truth.
I hated that cat.
Maybe thatís why you were scratching yourself all night.
Was I scratching myself?
-Thatís what you noticed? -I certainly did.
I hated that cat.
I couldnít stand it...
but now that cafť is round the corner from my home.
Youíre joking!
Why would I joke about something like that?
You want to have a drink there?
-Why not? -Because weíre drinking here.
Why would I want to go?
We can take our moustaches off.
Youíre having a nostalgic...?
Iím having a thing. Sue me. I just thought it'd be fun.
We canít...
Come on, weíll take our moustaches off, no problem.
-That Iíd like to do. -Me too.
Never thought Iíd hear you say, ĎTake my moustache off.í
Please.
Wail go.
I feel good. Iíve had 3 glasses of champagne.
Letís go see this place.
You want to sneak out?
I do. We snuck out before, remember?
Remember that boring party we went to with the Wainwrights?
Yes, I remember, because...
we left through the toilet window.
A guy was singing, ĎClimb Every Mountain.í
And you knocked over the punch bowl, if I remember correctly.
Yes, but you let out the shriek that got us caught.
Remember how we made love? Do you remember?
-You dropped your cigar. -I know.
I dropped the cigar and l...
Youíre so drunk.
I remember us making love.
Remember the candles?
I remember the candles, the hotel, but not you.
Unless you were the one under me.
-Now youíre in character. -I donít know where I am.
-Iím lost. -Come on. Letís go.
-Our coats are in the car. -Forget it.
Itís a warm night. Come on. Pretend youíre young.
I could do for you.
Youíre better off without her.
How do you know? You never met her.
I know you.
So what does that mean?
A good psychiatrist...
that listened to you...
would think every time Iím with a woman, you get jealous.
Why are you laughing?
I just wish youíd pick someone whoíd make you happy.
Like who?
I made you happy.
-I didnít say you didnít. -I made you very happy.
When we werenít at each otherís throats.
Does this ring a bell? This is why I took you here.
Does this mean anything?
Is this where we...?
This is it, yes. Thatís why I dragged you all over town.
My God!
-You remember this? -We stayed up all night here.
I know. I held you in my arms till the light came up.
Remember the song?
-I do. -I still sing that song.
I learned it from you. That was the first time. Remember?
Iím through with love...
Iíll never fall again.
Said Ďadieuí to love...
ĎDonít ever call again.í
For I must have you...
or no one.
And so Iím through with love.
Iíve locked my heart.
Iíll keep my feelings there.
I have stocked my heart...
with icy frigidaire.
And I mean to care for no one...
because Iím through with love.
Why did you lead me to think...
you could care?
You didnít need me...
for you had your share...
of friends around you...
to hound you and swear...
with deep emotion...
devotion to you.
Goodbye to spring...
and all it meant to me.
It can never bring...
the things that used to be.
For I must have you...
or no one.
And so Iím through with love.
I wonder what wouldíve happened if weíd stayed together.
Thatís something weíll never know.
Weíve managed to produce...
a fabulous daughter.
She is unbelievable.
Sheís got your looks, fortunately...
and my magic personality.
She is wonderful.
And youíve been very happy with Bob, so thatís good.
Heís wonderful.
-You couldnít have done better. -No.
There have been a few times, youíll admit...
you did call me in an emergency and I had to come bail you out.
I know.
Two major fights with Bob, and...
one disgusting lump that turned out to be benign...
though you were in a panic.
You were there for me.
And you for me.
And I appreciate it.
I think weíve been better friends...
than husband and wife.
Yeah, we probably have.
But nobody made me laugh the way you did.
I love Bob with all my heart, it isnít that.
Itís just that you could always push that button in me.
So why is that so important?
I donít know.
Maybe weíre crazy.
That girl that dumped you today, did she make you laugh?
I donít know.
I have to put that...
behind.
Funny how life goes.
Itís amazing. Amazing.
Letís go. Itís late.
Itís definitely late.
Christmas Eve, and late.
Letís go.
Everyone says ĎI love you...í
the cop on the corner and the burglar too.
Christmas Eve in Paris.
What a year!
And that sort of brings us to the end of our story.
I told Skylar someone should write it up as a movie.
She said ĎBetter be a musical, or no one will believe it.í
By the way...
that night I met a terrific guy.
I mean, talk about sexy!
E=mc2
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