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Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x02

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Now look, Squeaky, I've told you before,
balloon bending is no longer a saleable commodity.
The public want sex.
Squeaky, two round balloons and one long thin one
does not constitute sex.
Now Squeaky, do yourself a favour,
cut your losses, kill yourself.
Sorry, Mr Filthy, but I've got to get my bits of whatnot.
Give and take. That's what sharing an office is all about.
Mr Filthy, about my etchings. Now, you did say...
Look, daughter, I am a dying man.
I may not live through this fag.
I am not an art dealer and if I was, the art in which I dealt
would not be the gumption-covered eyesores you produce in your tea break.
Oh!
Now that young lass of yours, that Cindy,
now she is a work of art.
If she ever fancied any lunchtime peeling,
I could get her a fiver a flash.
Over my dead body, Mr Filthy!
Yeah, you're right, that could be a super little act.
Yeah, très kinko.
Get that for me, would you, dearie?
My quack's told me to take it easy.
Hello, Ralph Filthy, media co-ordin...
Get your mop out of my pending file, you silly old tart.
Hello, yes. Yes, now who did you want to speak to?
Yeah.
Richie Rich? You've got a job for him?
Oh, erm, yeah, yeah.
Erm, yes. Erm...
Celebrity Slaughterhouse Closing?
Yeah, very nice. Very nice.
Now look, I can't do it for any less than 20 quid.
All right, 10. Done.
When do you want him? When do you want him?
Now?
Would you believe it?
Today is the only day of the decade that he is actually working.
Yeah, I know it sounds impossible
but he's at the BBC on...
Right, my lovelies, it's on air in two minutes
so if you could cut the chatter for the camera line-ups?
Yes, of course, I've known Tarby for years.
We've often performed in the same pants.
Panto, love. Pantomimes. Ooh, we've done a few.
Oh, Cinders, Aladders, Dickers Whitters.
That was terrif. My Dick was fantastic.
That's an old showbiz joke.
Julian! We're two minutes to air.
Who the hell's the ugly bastard doing all the jabbering?
Name's Richie Rich. Last-minute replacement celebrity.
Bernie Winters got a bog roll ad and ditched.
Well, you tell him, if he doesn't button his scabby lip
I'll get makeup to castrate the bastard with eyebrow tweezers.
He's got a teeny...
Teeny weeny bit less talking, Trevor says.
I bet Trevor put it a bit stronger than that, eh?
Hello, Trevor, all right? Let's make movies, you old twig.
Sit on him! Sack him! Sack his people!
Bankrupt his company...
All right, we're rolling. So take it from the top.
That means start at the beginning, everybody, all right?
Oh, how I love the business!
Shut him up!
All right, everybody, we're going to have lots of fun
so don't forget your laugh and applause cues and...
Here we go.
'Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tuesday, 6:30, and time for...
'The game for all the family.
'Here's your host, everyone's favourite mirth maker,
'Ivor Whopper! '
Thank you. Thank you for giving me the clap.
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
And welcome one and...
Welcome all! Welcome all!
...to another addition of Ooer Sounds A Bit Rude,
the game for all the family.
And as always, we have our usual motley collection
of the dregs of society.
Ooh! Ha-ha-ha!
Plus of course - the only sane one amongst us -
our member of the great British public.
Close-up on the pleb. I said close-up, not right up her nose!
Camera five, take a good look at the job centre.
So, you are Mrs Ruth Butcher?
Close-up Ivor for the big gag.
Let's hope you get some really meaty questions then!
Brilliant! Hit laughter.
Follow it across to the has-beens, my darlings.
Wide shot on celebs.
Great gag, Ivor! Meaty, brilliant!
I know a good gag. There were two crocodiles... Well, nuns...
Julian, tell that imbecile to stick to the script!
I can't get to him, he's in shot!
Close-up on Ivor!
The rules of the game,
like the members of the panel - are very simple indeed.
I read out the sentence which sounds a bit rude
then my good friends here have to laugh dirtily
but then have to come up with a clean version.
For example,
"I never impress the girls because I've only got a tiny... "
Oh! Penis!
Of course the answer is car.
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
Let's meet my good friends here,
these bunch of down-and-outs who are gonna try and help Ruth win.
Good luck to her.
Good luck to her! Good gag, Ivor!
Juliannn!
Shut that gormless git up!
No unscripted spontaneity!
And now then, who have we here?
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Billy Glitter and Huggles the Ostrich.
Close-up Billy and Huggles.
Cue music and Billy and Huggles laugh.
I'm so sad. My girlfriend's left me.
What happened?
- She's given me the bird. - Audience laughing.
Not the first time you've been stuck in a bird's gob, eh, Ivor?
What is he saying? That's not in the script! Back to Ivor!
Oh, my God, he's completely lost!
Coo-ee! Hello.
Oh, Molly, nice to see you again!
- Ha-ha-ha! - Ooh.
I bet Bill's ostrich isn't as well behaved as my pussy.
Ivor, bring this show round, for God's sake!
Ladies and gentlemen,
everybody's favourite mother-in-law, Molly Slocombe!
Oh, you're so lovely.
I'd like to show you all me pussy.
In fact, I can't think of anything nicer
than having you all stroking me pussy.
Don't milk it. That's the third time you've done that gag.
And you used to do it in every ep of that appalling sitcom.
What's going on down there?
Now then, here we have a gay young fellow.
Heh-heh. John, how are you feeling today?
I'm feeling a little queer.
Oh, my favourite gag, my darling!
My favourite gag. He's such a professional.
Nice gag! I'll keep my bottom firmly on the seat when I'm anywhere near you!
Cut away! Cut away! What is he saying?
Don't you dare tread on one of my laughs again!
Shut your face, you little poof.
A lively bunch we have in here tonight!
Now, Cindy, lovely to see both of you here this evening.
I always like to keep abreast of what you're up to, Ivor.
Good, we're back on script, darlings.
Yes, she has got big tits, but I've got a whopping great talent!
I'm Richie Rich and I'm available panto or summer season for the rest of my life!
These two blokes go into a brothel...
Support Dr Barnardo's!
I've got big mammaries.
I'm homosexual. Isn't it hilarious?
When I say me pussy, I really mean me...
Get back! Back!
- Eddie. - Richie.
- Eddie! - Richie!
- Eddie! - What?
Hello, barman. Give me a drink!
What did you think about my show?
It was stupendously bad!
Thank you! Julian, you look like you've seen a ghost!
Double Scotch for him. How do you think the show went?
- I just lost me job! - Sorry to hear that.
I'll try and talk to someone up top.
How about my performance? Wasn't it special?
You bastard!
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh!
If anyone else wants to throw their drink around, do it on me!
Hi, you lot!
Ah-ha-ha-ha! Massive drinks for this table.
You're a lot of long faces. It went wonderfully!
Mind if I join you?
Er... Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
No, but gagging aside, it was a super show I thought.
- Here you are! - Drinks all round.
Look!
Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
This is an initiation ceremony.
I'm now a Sunshine Variety golfing rat.
£15.40, please?
Certainly, barman. £15.40?
I don't suppose you...
Eddie, Eddie, cash, cash.
This is disgusting! An entire tray of good pop wasted!
It's no wonder the BBC costs so much!
I'm glad I don't pay my licence...!
Right. I'm just off to see if I can get a snog with Val Singleton.
They didn't give me a dressing room, those BBC bastards!
I had to put on my jacket in the lavs.
Oh, God, I'm disgraced. I can't pay for my round.
I'll never be able to hold my head up...
No, no. Get thee behind me, Satan. I mustn't. I can't. I...
Oh, my God, I have.
Oh! Oh!
The Nolan Sisters, my all-time favourite four-tissue fantasy.
Oh! Oh!
Mm. Mm.
They wouldn't mind. They probably fancy me more than I fancy them!
Ooh!
I'm in the mood for dancing
Romancing, I'm giving it all tonight
They're in the mood for Richie
Who's not titchy
But particularly well-endowed
Oooh!
The Nolans' shower.
Wait till I tell them this at the fan club meeting.
Do you think I'm sexy? Yes, we think you're sexy
Sexy, wexy, bexy, wexy, sexy, bex...
What do you think you're doing?
Hi! You took your time. Strip off. Come in.
The water's lovely and so am I.
Er...
Oh, good, the shower's fixed now.
Any more problems, call Transvestite Plumbers and we'll be straight round.
- Just who the hell are you? - He's ruined our costume.
- Let's call the police. - No, no, no, don't do that!
No, it was... It was just a prank.
You know us immense celebrities, jolly senses of humour.
- Immense celebrity, eh? - If so, you must be rich.
Yep, rich and sexy!
Snap away, girls!
I can never resist a camera.
If you're so rich and you want this film back,
get us a thousand quid by Friday or your career's over.
- Right, girls? - Right.
Or we sell the pic to the papes
and shop you to the police for nicking our gear.
Now get lost while we do our song.
Yeah.
Ready? Two, three, four...
Hang on!
You're not going to sing, are you?
Of course. Why else would we agree to be in this old crap?
The Nolan Sisters talking dirty. Wait till I tell the chaps.
- Go away while we sing. - We don't want you to.
We only got you because you used to wear those tight disco pants.
And now you're blackmailing me, I have to get on with the plot.
Thank God someone's being professional around here!
God, that Valerie Singleton doesn't half go.
Well, she can run a lot faster than me, anyway!
Right, now I need a drink!
Ha-ha-ha!
Aah! Right! What shall I have for my supper tonight?
Bugger-all...
or sweet FA?
I could go mad and have both.
The final humiliation!
Lower than this I cannot sink.
Lest fate pulls out its finger pretty sharpish,
your old mate'll be climbing the stairway to heaven before eventide.
- Who's that then? - What?
Who's this old friend of mine?
Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
- You'll be the death of me. - Well, I certainly hope so.
I'm in terrible troub.
- Deep, humiliating troub. - Troub.
I'm being blackmailed by the Nolan Sisters.
Blimey! That is embarrassing.
If it gets in the papes you're being stitched up by the Noles
- you'll be a laughing stock. - I know.
- Still, there's a bright side. - Which is?
It'll be the first laughs you've ever got.
I do a lot of smile humour, Eddie,
people aren't supposed to laugh.
Neither are they meant to throw things and chant,
"Get off! We've heard better jokes on the speaking clock. "
I take risks on stage, Edward!
I create, I... improvise!
There may occasionally be slight unpleasantness...
Yes, it's called your act!
I'm storing this up, all of it!
And one day, Edward Catflap, out of the blue, completely by surprise,
you're going to die.
Everyone'll think it's an accident
except me and the strange figure with the chain saw.
Oh! Oh, er... Ah-ha-ha-ha.
Right. Now, where were we?
We were here. We haven't moved.
Nice gag!
Let's have supper and decide how to deal with the Noles.
We can't have supper! We're broke and there's no food.
We're broke and there's no food?
- Shall I go for the echo gag? - No! There's no time.
What will we do about those Noles?
I could've done it by the time you said that!
- OK, then, bloody do it! - Right.
Coo, this room's got an echo!
I don't think Little and Large have a lot to worry about.
I'm hungry!
- Have you had the ketchup? - Er... No.
Look, we've got two problems.
No food and the Nolans. What are we going to do?
- Eat the Nolans! - We can't!
It'd be showbiz suicide.
And you start something like that, you have to finish it.
There's only four of 'em and I'm starving.
No, that's not what I mean.
If we eat them, where will it all end?
We eat them, Bucks Fizz eat us.
Yes. Brotherhood Of Man eats Bucks Fizz.
Jimmy Osmond eats Brotherhood Of Man.
And before you know it,
there'll just be one huge middle-of-the-road singer left.
And Demis Roussos will be back at number one.
It just doesn't bear thinking about.
I've got it! We shall have to think of something else!
Brilliant!
Oh dear, oh dear.
'Allo, boys!
Anybody got a fag?
Don't worry - I'll smoke my own!
You, Filthy? Smoke your own fags? Are you ill?
I'm always ill, Eddie, you know that.
No, I have just made... a thousand quid.
With any luck I shall die before I can spend it all,
which means I need never be poor again.
You? A thousand quid? I don't understand.
It's just like one quid, Richie, only there's more of them.
Try to think of it as like... a thousand quid.
Wow! That's like 2,000 appearances on Blankety Blank!
Interesting bit of business, really.
This mad old bag who cleans my office splats the odd canvas,
so I trolled up to Hampstead and bunged one up on a railing
and sold it to this old git who thought she was famous for a thousand quid.
Pull the other one, Filthy, it's got balls on.
Bells, Eddie. Bells on.
Mine's got balls on, mate.
If yours has got bells on I suggest you seek a doctor out!
You mean the mistaken snob value made the painting valuable?
- Exactly. - Hmm!
'Allo. Nasty John's Cock and Dog Fights?
Yes, I can hold.
Richie, a thousand quid is exactly what you owe the Noles.
I know.
'Allo, Nasty John.
I hear you're putting up a bunch of myxomatosed rabbits
against a three-legged cat.
A fiver on the moggy.
No-a fiver on each goolie.
- Richie... - Yes?
I said a thousand quid is exactly what you owe the Noles!
I know!
I told you that in the first place!
Have you got any children fighting today?
- Ooh! Eddie! Lock the door! - Right!
Right, Filthy, hand over the cash
or you'll be pushing up daisies in a concrete overcoat
dumped in the canal... getting carried out of here in a box.
- Are you threatening me? - Just give me the cash
or so help me I'll swing for you! I'm desperate!
Richie, please don't shout, your mother's got very sensitive ears,
they bleed when people ask me for money.
Filthy, just hand over the cash!
Richie's being blackmailed by the Nolan Sisters!
He'll be shamed and humiliated!
So what's new?
That's a point, Richie. What is new?
Enormous Derek? Yeah, Ralph Filthy here. Help.
Aha! Trying to call for help, eh? Right!
Yeah, two close and bona eeks of my acquaintance are trying to rob me.
Ha ha!
Yeah. So get your chain saw
and come down to 33 Acacia Cul-De-Sac, would you?
By a process of elimination...
Right, yeah. Have you got all that then? Right. Ta-ta.
There you are, Eddie.
Ahem.
Oh, damn.
Well done, Eddie! When we need quick action,
we can always rely on you to destroy the house.
Thank you very much.
I know! Let's kill him! Brilliant!
No, no, no. Richie, Richie, darling, you've got it all wrong.
The agent is supposed to rob the client.
Please don't flaunt tradition.
Remember Bulgy "No, Madam, It's Not A Third Leg" McBulgy?
I represented him for years.
I caught him watering my whisky once - he never worked again.
He never worked before, he was worse than Richie.
He wasn't that bad.
No, the point is I hate people watering my whisky and I never forgive.
I hate people peeing in my booze.
Yeah. But you still drank it, didn't you?
That's not the point, Edward.
- Come on, kill him! - All right.
Goodbye, Filthy Ralph.
Oh, how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
to have an ungrateful client.
Why do you think I came over here,
Richie darling, if not to share with you my good fortune?
- What's mine is yours. - Ahh...
Watch out, Richie, he's got syphilis.
Come on, close your eyes and open your hands.
Ahh!
Oh, what fun! I remember this from school.
- My friend said, "Feel this. " - Steady on!
He's trying to escape. Stop him!
No, open your eyes first!
Good idea!
Have we given up the chase idea?
No, we're just having a rest.
I'm going in!
Flush the lav! Lt'll be worth a grand to see Eddie go down the toilet!
No, no, we need the cash!
I'll tell you something, I'm never lending him my comb again.
I regret to say I could not see it.
Phew! That pipe whiffs like nobody's business!
Richie, it's a sewer, it whiffs like everybody's business.
Well, I suppose it was inevitable
if I acquired a bijou pile of rhino it couldn't last.
I could have wished it a more dignified end.
Anybody got anything to drink?
Filthy, this is not the attitude that wins!
When Mike Winters left Bernie did Bernie sit on the lavatory?
No, he got a dog called Schnorbitz and a legend was born.
It's not my problem, Richie.
I've already alerted Enormous Derek.
I've activated a highly-trained professional killer.
Or, I've phoned a big bastard with no brain
who dresses in women's underwear and I've got the photos.
So unless you and Eddie pay me my thousand pounds back tonight
it's roller blinds for the both of you!
- Eh? - Roller blinds?
Oh, sorry. Curtains.
Oh. Curtains.
What are we gonna do?! Shove over, old friend!
Filthy made that thousand quid out of that strange painting episode.
- Of course! - Yes.
Aha-ha...
Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Eddie?
We're going to make you into an artist, so get out your easel!
- Oo-er! - I'm not going to rise to it.
- Come, we repair to Hampstead! - Right.
Extra, extra!
I'm an extra!
Come on, get your paintings here!
Well, have you sold any yet?
Hundreds, I'm sure. I've sung your praises all over Hampstead.
- How many have you sold? - Um...
None!
But I have high hopes for my new piece, entitled simply "Wall"!
Until now I was blind, at last I behold life as it really is!
Oh, God, fans. It's a bore, I know,
but I do always say, without fans even I would be nowhere.
Tarby feels the same and Kenny Lynch.
Bobby Davro said the same. I said, "You are nowhere. "
Away, imbecile!
Oh, my God, a psycho fan! John Lennon syndrome!
Peasant, this is the art critic Alphonse P'Farty.
Perhaps something in this horrific collage of mental vomit
has moved his soul.
Personally it moves only my bowels.
Who is Edwardo Catflappo?
Who wants to know, fatso?
- Ahh! - Ahh!
- Rahh! - Rarr!
- Rarr! - Raagh!
- Ohhh, such strength! - Aaah!
Such anger!
My friend, you are a genius!
Oo-er!
- I intend to exhibit your vork. - Beg your pardon?
I intend to exhibit your work.
Zoon you vill be famous.
- And rich. - Great! How about an advance?
But of course, of course! Take, take.
Give, give, give.
In return, perhaps I might choose that one.
That's not actually a painting, that's my lunch.
It disagreed with me.
But you can have it for a thousand quid.
Magnificent! Have it scraped up for me
while I telephone the Gwardian.
Come, Alphonse!
It worked. It bloody worked!
Come on, let's go and celebrate!
Raaaaah!
Hello!
It's all right, we've got money!
So this is what a restaurant looks like?
Mm! Fantastic! Try some of this, Richie!
Fantastic! I'll have five!
Okey-dokey, skip!
Ah-ha-ha-haaa!
Waiter, come here quickly before I cause a scene!
Ah, good. Two slap-up grills, please.
Egg, saus, bac, black pud, bloater, onios, mushos, peasos,
chippos, buttered sliceos.
In short, two heart attacks and a coronary care unit, please.
And an Alka-Seltzer in an unfeasibly large brandy, please.
I'm afraid, sir, we don't do fry-ups.
Ooh!
Perhaps you'd like to see the menu?
Looks great. We'll have the lot.
Well, me proud beauty, we're going to have a classic nosh up!
Could I have your autograph, please?
Oh, more fans! Still, if I'm not used to it now. What name is it?
I heard Mr P'Farty talking about your work.
I've never met a celebrity before.
Uh-huh-huh-huh!
I agreed with every word - such passion, such fire!
If you want some fiery passion, baby, you only have to ask!
Er, God bless, look after mum, oo-er, sounds a bit rude!
She hasn't recognised you, have you, darling?
No. Who is he?
Ah-ha-ha. What do you mean? What an interesting tablecloth.
- There you go, baby. - Oh, thank you!
Your meals come to £250 each. Payment in advance.
Of course. There's mine, but I'm not paying for his.
You pay for my tea this instant, Mr Edward Catflap!
No, you've pushed me around long enough!
I've been scorned and ordered about!
"Do this, Eddie! Do that, Eddie!"
But you never did anything!
I wanted to be someone! I could've been a contender.
But you were always out there in front, pushing, barging, farting!
See who's wearing the farting trousers now!
So up yours! I'm not paying for your tuck!
Have you no honour?
- No integrity? - That's a bloody stupid question.
Yes, I suppose so, yes.
- Oh! - Oh, thank you, garçon!
Get off and get out!
I hope you've got change for 30 pieces of silver, Judas.
See you at my first exhibition!
- This joke won't get that far! - The show's not that bad.
Ha!
Welcome! It gives me enorrrmous pleasure to sit on bath taps.
No...
Ha. Ha. Ha.
It gives me, of course, enormous pleasure to open this exhibition.
There comes to us occasionally of a time, yes,
a force, a gift from God.
A gift of fire and passion.
Such a gift is Edwardo Catflappo.
Hello!
Everythink he produces is a work of art.
Quite bloody right!
That was my latest effort, it's called "Belching In An Art Gallery".
OK, who wants to buy it?
Of course! Flatulence, the only truly disposable art form!
- I bid... - 250!
Oh, come on, I was about to bid then!
- My bid stands! - Oh!
Look, look, I'll settle this.
There you are, one each. Leave the cash at the door.
OK, Poo Farty, the...
No, P'Farty.
Poo Farty, OK. Poo Farty.
The exhibition's open today. I'm going to the pub.
If anybody wants to pay to see me do it you're welcome.
Thank you and good night!
Well, my friend, it pains me to say it but you have won.
I am consumed with discontent, consumed, I tell you.
Despite our wager it was my hope that I would be proved wrong.
Alas, I overestimated the art establishment.
They will follow any fashion.
We bet that you could find the most gross, talentless,
oikish, tosspot of a painter, a world-class head of a dick,
and with your influence, make the public think him an exciting artist.
Mm. And to my shame and disappointment, I have done so.
You owe me 20,000 of your English poundies.
Here are the English poundies.
So that's your little game!
And guess who heard it all?!
Who?
Me! Richie bloody Rich!
The price of my silence is that 20,000-
and you ending this charade
that's making my minder more famous than me!
Huh. Here you are. Come, N'Bend.
"Nob-end"?
My card.
Alphonse Nob End?
Nob End and Poo Farty. What a script. Get out.
Let's go to some situation comedy
where they will appreciate our lavatorial banter.
20 thou and a difficult plot tied up into the bargain.
You never thought we'd do it in half an hour but we did, just by being stupid.
- Come to see my exhibish? - No, I've come to close it.
You've been the ignorant dupe of two arrogant ponces.
I thought it was strange. I just sold my pants for 500 quid.
Heh-heh-heh-heh!
I've just ended your career for 20 thou.
After I've paid off the Noles and Filthy it comes to 18 thou,
of which you won't be getting any.
Enormous Derek.
Have a thousand pounds.
- Right, let's pay off the Nolans. - No need to do that,
I've paid them off with my burp and pants money.
Forgive me, Edward, but it would seem a bit out of character
for you to perform an act of kindness.
Well, I haven't really performed an act of kindness
because I still have the incriminating film!
Er, so I'll just take my 18 grand and we'll celebrate, shall we?
Richie, carry me back to the flat. And no farting!
We're gonna have the most disgusting, debauched...
...party! - OK, girls, do it now!
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm in the mood for dancing
Romancing
Ooh, I'm giving it all tonight
I'm in the mood for chancing
I feel like dancing
Ooh, so come on and hold me tight
Dancing Dancing
I'm in the mood, babe
Ooh So let the music play
Ooh, I'm dancing Dancing
I'm in the groove, babe
So get on up and let your body sway
Ooh, I'm in the mood for dancing
Romancing
You know I should never stop tonight
I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood
I'm in the mood to dance Ooh, ooh, ooh
Yeah, let's dance Ooh, ooh, ooh
Come on and dance Ooh, ooh, ooh
I'm in the mood, so baby, dance
Yeah, let's dance Ooh, ooh, ooh
Come on and dance Ooh, ooh, ooh
I'm in the mood to take a chance
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Family Guy 01x02 - I Never Met the Dead Man
Family Guy 01x03 - Chitty Chitty Death Bang
Family Guy 01x04 - Mind Over Murder
Family Guy 01x05 - A Hero Sits Next Door
Family Guy 01x06 - The Son Also Draws
Family Guy 01x07 - Brian Portrait of a Dog
Family Guy 01x08 - Peter Peter Caviar Eater
Family Guy 01x09 - Running Mates
Family Guy 01x10 - Holy Crap
Family Guy 01x11 - If Im Dyin Im Lyin
Family Guy 01x12 - Love Thy Trophy
Family Guy 01x13 - Death Is A Bitch
Family Guy 01x14 - The King Is Dead
Family Guy 03x01 - The Thin White Line
Family Guy 03x02 - Brian Does Hollywood
Family Guy 03x03 - Mr Griffin Goes To Washington
Family Guy 03x04 - One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
Family Guy 03x05 - And The Weiner Is
Family Guy 03x06 - Death Lives
Family Guy 03x07 - Lethal Weapons
Family Guy 03x08 - The Kiss Seen Around The World
Family Guy 03x09 - Mr Saturday Knight
Family Guy 03x10 - A Fish Out Of Water
Family Guy 03x11 - Emission Impossible
Family Man The
Family Viewing 1987
Fando y Lis
Fanfan le tulipe 2003
Fantasia (2004)
Fantomas Contre Scotland Yard
Far From Heaven
Far Off Place A 1993
Far away so close (1993) CD1
Far away so close (1993) CD2
Farewell Home sweet Home (Otar Iosseliani 1999)
Fargo - 1996 CD1 25fps
Fargo - 1996 CD2 25fps
Farscape - 1x01 - Premiere
Farscape - 1x02 - I ET
Farscape - 1x03 - Exodus From Genesis
Farscape - 1x04 - Throne for a Loss
Farscape - 1x05 - Back and Back and Back to the Future
Farscape - 1x06 - Thank God Its Friday Again
Farscape - 1x07 - PK Tech Girl
Farscape - 1x08 - That Old Black Magic
Farscape - 1x09 - DNA Mad Scientist
Farscape - 1x10 - Theyve Got a Secret
Farscape - 1x11 - Till the Blood Runs Clear
Farscape - 1x12 - Rhapsody In Blue
Farscape - 1x13 - The Flax
Farscape - 1x14 - Jeremiah Crichton
Farscape - 1x15 - Durka Returns
Farscape - 1x16 - A Human Reaction
Farscape - 1x17 - Through The Looking Glass
Farscape - 1x18 - A Bugs Life
Farscape - 1x19 - Nerve
Farscape - 1x20 - The Hidden Memory
Farscape - 1x21 - Bone To Be Wild
Farscape - 1x22 - Family Ties
Farscape - 2x01 - Mind The Baby
Farscape - 2x02 - Vitas Mortis
Farscape - 2x03 - Talking The Stone
Farscape - 2x04 - Crackers Dont Matter
Farscape - 2x05 - The Way We Werent
Farscape - 2x06 - Picture If You Will
Farscape - 2x07 - Home On The Remains
Farscape - 2x08 - Dream A Little Dream
Farscape - 2x09 - Out Of Their Minds
Farscape - 2x10 - My Three Crichtons
Farscape - 2x11 - Look At The Princess I - A Kiss Is But A Kiss
Farscape - 2x12 - Look At The Princess II - I Do I Think
Farscape - 2x13 - Look At The Princess III - The Maltese Crichton
Farscape - 2x14 - Beware Of Dog
Farscape - 2x15 - Wont Get Fooled Again
Farscape - 2x16 - The Locket
Farscape - 2x17 - The Ugly Truth
Farscape - 2x18 - A Clockwork Nebari
Farscape - 2x19 - Liars Guns and Money I - A Not So Simple Plan
Farscape - 2x20 - Liars Guns and Money II - With Friends Like These
Farscape - 2x21 - Liars Guns and Money III - Plan B
Farscape - 2x22 - Die Me Dichotomy
Farscape - 3x01 - Season Of Death
Farscape - 3x02 - Suns And Lovers
Farscape - 3x03 - Self Inflicted Wounds I - Coulda Woulda Shoulda
Farscape - 3x04 - Self Inflicted Wounds II - Wait For The Wheel
Farscape - 3x05 - Different Destinations
Farscape - 3x06 - Eat Me
Farscape - 3x07 - Thanks For Sharing
Farscape - 3x08 - Green Eyed Monster
Farscape - 3x09 - Losing Time
Farscape - 3x10 - Relativity
Farscape - 3x11 - Incubator
Farscape - 3x12 - Meltdown
Farscape - 3x13 - Scratch N Sniff
Farscape - 3x14 - Infinite Possibilities I - Daedalus Demands
Farscape - 3x15 - Infinite Possibilities II - Icarus Abides
Farscape - 3x16 - Revenging Angel
Farscape - 3x17 - The Choice
Farscape - 3x18 - Fractures
Farscape - 3x19 - I-Yensch You-Yensch
Farscape - 3x20 - Into The Lions Den I - Lambs To The Slaugher
Farscape - 3x21 - Into The Lions Den II - Wolf In Sheeps Clothing
Farscape - 3x22 - Dog With Two Bones
Farscape - 4x01 - Crichton Kicks
Farscape - 4x02 - What Was Lost (Part 1) - Sacrifice
Farscape - 4x03 - What Was Lost (Part 2) - Resurrection
Farscape - 4x04 - Lavas A Many Splendored Thing
Farscape - 4x05 - Promises
Farscape - 4x06 - Natural Election
Farscape - 4x07 - John Quixote
Farscape - 4x08 - I Shrink Therefore I Am
Farscape - 4x09 - A Prefect Murder
Farscape - 4x10 - Coup By Clam
Farscape - 4x11 - Unrealized Reality (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x12 - Kansas (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x13 - Terra Firma (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x14 - Twice Shy
Farscape - 4x15 - Mental As Anything
Farscape - 4x16 - Bringing Home The Beacon
Farscape - 4x17 - A Constellation Of Doubt
Farscape - 4x18 - Prayer
Farscape - 4x19 - We are So Screwed - Fetal Attraction (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x20 - We are So Screwed - Hot To Katratzi (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x21 - We are So Screwed - La Bomba (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x22 - Bad Timing
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 1)
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 2)
Fast And Furious
Fat Choi Spirit
Fata Morgana
Fate Ignoranti Le
Father of a Soldier (Rezo Chkheidze 1964)
Father of the Bride
Fawlty Towers
Fear Dot Com
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fear of Fear (Rainer Werner Fassbinder 1975)
Feed the Kitty (1952)
Fellowship of the Ring The
Female Convict Scorpion Beast Stable 1973 Shunya Ito
Female Prisoner 701 Scorpion 1972
Femme Fatale (2002)
Fiances The 1962
Fierce Creatures (1997)
Fight Club CD1
Fight Club CD2
Fighter in the Wind
Fighting Fish 2004
Fille Sur La Pont La
Filles Uniques 2003
Film That Was Never Made A
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x01
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x02
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x03
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x04
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x05
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x06
Final Countdown The 1980 CD1
Final Countdown The 1980 CD2
Final Destination - New Line Platinum Series
Final Fantasy
Final Friday The - Jason Goes To Hell 25fps
Final Insult The
Final Nightmare The
Finders Fee (Jeff Probst 2001)
Finding Forrester 2000
Finding Nemo
Fire in the Sky
Firefly - Serenity (pilot)
Firefly 1x01 - The train job
Firefly 1x02 - Bushwhacked
Firefly 1x03 - Shindig
Firefly 1x04 - Safe
Firefly 1x05 - Our mrs Reynolds
Firefly 1x06 - Jaynestown
Firefly 1x07 - Out of gas
Firefly 1x08 - Ariel
Firefly 1x09 - War stories
Firefly 1x10 - Trash
Firefly 1x11 - The message
Firefly 1x12 - Heart of gold
Firefly 1x13 - Objects in space
Firelight
Firemens Ball The 1967
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD1
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD2
First Men In The Moon 1964
First Power The
Fish Called Wanda A
Fisher King The
Fistful Of Dollars A
Fistful of Dynamite A CD1
Fistful of Dynamite A CD2
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD1
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD2
Fiza
Flash Gordon CD1
Flash Gordon CD2
Fled
Flesh and Blood CD1
Flesh and Blood CD2
Fletch
Flight Of The Intruder CD1 1991
Flight Of The Intruder CD2 1991
Flipper (1996) CD1
Flipper (1996) CD2
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD1
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD2
Flubber 1997 CD1
Flubber 1997 CD2
Fly Away Home
Fly The (Kurt Neumann 1958)
Fog of war The 2003 limited theatrical version
For A Few Dollars More 1965
For Scent-imental Reasons (1949)
Foreigner The
Fourth Man
Frankenfish 2004
Frankenstrom
Frankenstrom 2001
Frantic (1988)
Frasier 01x01 - The Good Son
Frasier 01x02 - Space Quest
Frasier 01x03 - Dinner At Eight
Frasier 01x04 - I Hate Frasier Crane
Frasier 01x05 - Heres Looking At You
Frasier 01x06 - The Crucible
Frasier 01x07 - Call Me Irresponsible
Frasier 01x08 - Beloved Infidel
Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out
Frasier 01x10 - Oops
Frasier 01x12 - Miracle On Third Or Fourth Street
Frasier 02x01 - Slow Tango in South Seattle
Frasier 02x02 - The Unkindest Cut of All
Frasier 02x03 - Commentary by Director David Lee and Writer Joe Keenan
Frasier 02x03 - The Matchmaker
Frasier 02x04 - Flour Child
Frasier 02x05 - Dukes We Hardly Knew You
Frasier 02x06 - The Botched Language of Cranes
Frasier 02x07 - The Candidate
Frasier 02x08 - Adventures in Paradise Part 1
Frasier 02x09 - Adventures in Paradise Part 2
Frasier 02x10 - Burying a Grudge
Frasier 02x11 - Seat of Power
Frasier 02x12 - Roz in the Doghouse
Frasier 02x13 - Retirement is Murder
Frasier 02x14 - Fool Me Once Shame on You Fool Me Twice
Frasier 02x15 - You Scratch My Book
Frasier 02x16 - The Show Where Sam Shows Up
Frasier 02x17 - Daphnes Room
Frasier 02x18 - The Club
Frasier 02x19 - Someone to Watch Over Me
Frasier 02x20 - Breaking the Ice
Frasier 02x21 - An Affair to Forget
Frasier 02x22 - Agents In America Part 3
Frasier 02x23 - The Innkeepers
Frasier 02x24 - Dark Victory
Freddys Revenge A
Fredrikssons Fabrikk
Free Willy 1993
Free Willy 2 - The Adventure Home
Free Willy 3 - The Rescue
Freeway (Sous-titres)
French Connection II (1975)
French Connection The
Frenzy (1972)
Fresh (1994)
Fresh Bait 1995
Friday
Friday Night (2002)
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th Part 8
Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies
Friends - 02x09 - the one with with phoebes dad
Friends - 02x11 - the one with the lesbian wedding
Friends - 02x13 - the one after the superbowl part 2
Friends - 02x15 - the one where ross and rachel you know
Friends - 02x16 - the one where joey moves out
Friends - 02x18 - the one where dr ramoray dies
Friends - 02x20 - the one where old yeller dies
Friends - 02x22 - the one with two parties
Friends - 02x24 - the one with barry and mindys wedding
Friends - 10x01 - TOW After Joey And Rachel Kiss
Friends - 10x02 - TOW Where Ross Is Fine
Friends - 10x03 - TOW Ross Tan
Friends - 10x04 - TOW the cake
Friends - 10x05 - TOW Rachels Sister Babysits
Friends - 10x06 - TOW Rosss Grant
Friends - 10x07 - TOW The Home Study
Friends - 10x08 - TOW the late Thanksgiving
Friends - 10x09 - TOW the birth mother
Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2