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Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x05

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Yes, is that the Wogan show?
Yes, I'd like to speak to somebody in charge, please.
All right, then, get me anybody.
Oh, hello, Terry.
Yeah, Ralph Filthy here, theatrical agent.
Who do I represent? Er...
Er, sorry, crossed line there. Now, listen...
Listen, Terry, I'm a big fan.
Yes, yes, love the little looks to camera.
Yeah, very sexy.
Very come hither.
Yeah, very come hither
and screw me to the wall you whirlwind of sauce, you.
No, I mean it.
Now, Terry, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, would I?
Yeah. Now, Terry, I've got this book
and I was hoping to plug it on your show.
Yeah, well...
it's more of a manual really, yeah.
Yeah, yes, it is quite dirty
but it's not tacky.
No. No way is it tacky.
It's more of a sort of a social service, really.
Yeah, Going It Alone, I Did It My Way.
It's a sort of single person's guide to sex, really.
Oh.
Gloria Hunniford.
Oh, stop sighing, Eddie.
I'm not sighing.
Pardon me, but I think you are sighing.
I'm not.
I'm idly collecting phlegm at the back of my throat
and when I've got enough...
I'm going to gob at you.
Wouldn't blame you if you were sighing, actually.
The hours are not exactly charging by at the mome.
No work,
nothing to do.
Wonder what Tom O'Connor's up to?
Imposs to say, really.
The man is such a sparkling multifaceted genius,
one cannot predict what amazing thing he'll get up to next.
- The interesting thing about Tom... - Well, congratulations, Richie.
I had thought today I had plumbed the very depths of tedium,
a level of boredom beneath which I could not sink,
but no - Richie Rich has started to burble on about Tom O'Connor.
What shall we do, stare at the wall or chat about Tom O'Connor?
"Well, I've got a bit of a heart condition.
"Staring at the wall would probably be too exciting.
"Safest if we chat about Tom O'Connor!"
You don't fancy watching Name That Tune on the vid, then?
Ooh!
Oh, no. Telly's broken.
Tom O'Connor's probably playing golf now.
Him and a few of the guys.
Probably just realised I'm not there.
"I thought you'd ask him, Bob Monkhouse?"
"No, you said you would, Tom. "
"Oh, bother, the game's ruined," Bob Hope will chip in.
- "Bother, bother, bother!" - Richie, I'm begging you.
No, I'm threatening you.
If you don't shut up I shall ram your head into the microwave.
All right, all right, all right.
The subject is closed.
I see Brucie Forsyth's got a new series.
Spot The Catchphrase.
Brucie trots out a series of meaningless catchphrases
and a celeb panel guess which will annoy the public most.
Could be very big, Eddie!
Do you think we could possibly avoid the subject of Brucie Forsyth as well?
In terms of boredom, it's much the same
as talking about... Michael Barrymore, isn't it?
What?! Eddie, your ignorance really is embarrassing.
They're two completely different artistic entities.
Their catchphrases, for example. What's Brucie's?
Come on, what's Brucie's catchphrase. You know it.
What is it?
"It's gonna be a big night tonight
"if you play your cards right. Nice to see ya. "
"Give us a twirl, Anthea. I'm in charge. "
Whereas Barrymore's is anything John Cleese ever said.
With by a couple of rounds of, "Awright! Awright!"
- Where's the similarity? - Neither of them are funny.
Take the game shows they present.
On Play Your Cards Right,
there's a whole line of cards and then you win a prize.
Whereas, on Strike It Lucky, there's a line of TVs and then you win a prize.
There's no similarity between the two concepts at all!
When TV execs go to so much troub to provide us with such varied scheduling,
the least you can do is give them some credit.
Richie, if you don't shut up, I'm going to cut your head off,
stuff it in the microwave, wait until it goes pink,
take it out, mush it up with milk and butter
and ram it up your backside!
So, SHUT UP!
Very well.
If you wish it, Eddie, we shall sit in silence.
It could save your life.
Ted Rogers has been thrown off 3-2-1.
- Right. - Too old, you see.
Too old. He's 108 if he's a day.
Got caught short in the ad break and had a widdle in Dusty Bin.
Dreadful business.
The rumour is they want me to take it over.
Yeah, me. With Sammy Fox as the glamorous totty on the side.
Could be a very special team, I think.
Do you wanna touch my body? Yes, we do!
We want to stick our heads up your blouse and go...
Will you shut up!
Right. Right, Eddie, that's it.
No, seriously, this is it.
I'm sorry, but when I'm on This Is Your Life
and you're brought on as my lifelong companion, guess what?
I'm not gonna recognise you.
That's right! I shall simply stare blankly and say,
"Who the hell is he? Get him off my show, he stinks. "
And all my great showbiz mates like, like...
Marti Caine and Gary Wilmot - they'll all say,
"Who's the fat, ugly bastard pretending to be Richie's mate?
"Get him out of the studio quickly. "
You'll be so embarrassed, won't you? You'll start to cry.
You'll cry! And we'll all laugh.
Eamonn Andrews will punch you and all my mates will join in.
Clive Dunn, Roy Castle, Pam Ayres -
they'll punch you to death in front of millions of people
just for being ugly and poor.
Oh...
Hello, Richie. Hello, Eddie.
Er, the front door was closed, so I picked the lock.
Er, do you mind if I use your toilet, Richie?
- Of course not, Filthy. Go ahead. - Ta.
Right, come on in, my dears.
Yes, this way. This way, Mr and Mrs Elton.
Yeah, in there, as promised.
One room, bijou maisonette, running water, fully furnished.
Très bona, ideal for a young family's first home.
90 quid a week, cash down. Thank you.
I'm sure you'll be very happy in your new home.
Filthy!
You said I could use the toilet, Richie. Be fair, I did ask.
I didn't say you could rent it out!
I've just moved into the estate agency biz.
Très bona, très mucho mazoola.
But Filthy, what happens when we want to...
- go? - It's in their rent agreement.
- You have right of passage. - I am not easily embarrassed
but I think it's going to be difficult
to maintain the social niceties we British are proud of
with a young family living in my toilet bowl.
Eddie! 90 quid!
Anyway, they won't mind, this is the '80s.
People have to go where they can.
By the way, watch what you do with your rubbish,
I've got a couple of students in your dustbin.
Not married, I'm afraid, but you can't expect morals from kids these days.
Boys, boys, this is not a day for long faces and whining.
This is a day of glad tidings, merriment...
joy...
happiness.
Because, Richie, my dear, I have found you a job.
Oh, my God!
- Aren't you pleased? - No. I remember the last job.
So do I. Très bona, regular appearances, extended engagement.
Filthy, you told me to sign on the dole!
You took a 75% commission on my unemployment benefit.
Yes, never mind all that, Richie, darling.
That's all in the past,
because I have found you a real, showbiz job.
If this is some kind of joke...
It'll be the first one on the show this week!
Shut up! We've had some super laughs and the show's only just begun.
Tell me true, have you honestly, cross your heart and hope to die,
got me a genuine, genuine showbiz job?
Yes.
- How big? - Enorm.
- Enorm! - You, Mr Richard Rich...
- Yes! - You old trouper, you.
- Yes! - You old hell raiser, you.
- Yes! - You, you...
mad, drunken dog of the theatre.
Ruff, ruff, ruff!
You are going to read the gossip columns
on breakfast TV tomorrow morning.
- Oh, my God, this is it! - I'm gonna meet Anne Diamond!
- Wincey Willis. - Gordon Honeycombe!
This is it! Michelangelo got the Sistine Chapel contract,
Russ Abbot had his Madhouse.
Bernard Matthews couldn't say "beautiful" properly.
And now I'm gonna read the gossip columns on breakfast TV!
Just a one-off, it's only tomorrow morning.
Ha! Wait till you see how brilliant I am.
I'll be reading the weather before you can say, "Frank Bo... "
One small prob.
Bear in mind you have to be at the studios tomorrow at 4:30...
in the morning.
You old josher! Seriously, what time do I have to be there?
I'm telling you, boys, that's it.
AM.
Shut up, Eddie. This is my big break.
- 4:30 in the morning? - That's right.
So, a quiet night in,
get to bed early,
and above all, get up early to get there on time.
Or you'll become bywords in the business for unprofessionalism
and never work again.
We've got to get an early night.
Oo-er, sounds a bit ominous.
It doesn't sound in the slightest bit ominous, Eddie.
Just remember to be there, tomorrow, 4:30, sober.
- Sober. - If you need me,
I'll be at the off-licence until opening time,
then at the pub until closing time and then at the club.
See you down the studios.
TV-am!
Ah-ah-ah-ah! Sober.
Right, 4:30 in the morning. What time is it now?
- It's nearly opening time. - Only 11 hours to go!
Ohhh!
What's on the telly?
It's broken.
We've got to be really sensible.
- Have a quiet evening in. - And an early night.
Above all, we've got to be up in time to get to the studio.
Why don't we go out for just one quiet, little drinkie?
N- o.
You know what would happen then?
- Lager frenzy. - Lager frenzy.
One thing you can't do after lager frenzy is get up at 4:30 in the morning.
- We could exercise restraint. - Yes, and in the real world,
perhaps we couldn't.
- I know what we'll do. - No!
- Not that. - It got too messy last time.
No, we'll never do it again. I swear.
This is great. I nicked this off a schoolkid on the bus.
It's a great new game all the trendsetters are playing.
It's called Trivial Pursuits.
Richie, Trivial Pursuits was fashionable about five years ago.
Oh, you really are a sad creature, aren't you?
If you can't think of something first you run it down.
Let's play. You have to shake to start.
Five! Oh-ho-ho!
Six.
No, that's on an angle, you see?
You'll have to roll it again.
Six.
You've played this before, haven't you?
It doesn't matter who starts, I'm still going to thrash you!
- Right, politics. - Look, Richie...
why don't we go out for just one non-alcoholic drinkie?
- Like what? - Vodka.
Vodka frenzy is even more destructive than lager frenzy.
The vom's a lot clearer. Easier to wash out of your sheets.
But you haven't washed yours since 1978.
And you only popped them in the lav with a bar of soap
and flushed it a couple of times.
- Are we playing this or not? - Ask me the question then.
Stop looking.
- I'm not looking. - Yes, you are looking.
- I'm not. - You can see the reflection
in my eyeballs cos they're so sparkling.
Sounds like the cue for a gag about sparkling balls!
Not if you ever want to work again! Ho ho!
Let's play and stop cheating!
I don't need to cheat to beat you.
Ooh! In that case you wouldn't mind turning your back
while I read the question.
All right then.
Great.
You seem to be taking an awfully long time, Richie.
Er, there's one or two complicated words.
With you in a tick.
Oh, dear. How very, very sad.
Richie, what have we got above our mantelpiece?
- Eamonn Andrews... - A mirror.
And what do I see reflected in that mirror?
Ena Sharples. Brilliant.
The pathetic sight of the man who once did the continuity links on TVS
reduced to grubby cheating to get the better of his half-drunk minder.
This is Thatcher's Britain.
Al Pacino and The Bee Gees.
Ah. Er...
Good, I think all your cards are in order. We can start.
I shall simply take the questions from the other end of the box.
Presuming I can see nothing of interest in your sparkling balls, oo-er,
perhaps you'd read the question.
Here goes. The first question of the game. Duh-da-da-derrrr!
Here goes...
Oh, God, this is easy. Too easy actually.
I don't think it's fair this is so easy.
- Just ask me the question. - All right, then.
It's not really fair. It's too easy.
It really is too easy, isn't it? It's not fair, really.
You've had all the easy ones and I've had all the hard ones.
I could have won by now if I'd had your questions.
I mean, honestly, it's not fair.
You probably know all the answers because you've played it so often.
If you've never played Trivial Pursuits,
the producer wishes me to assure you
that this is exactly what it's like
and hence a very well-observed gag.
Shut up. Our audience are very sophis, they all play Triv.
Richie, in order to play Triv, you have to be able to read,
which counts our lot out from the start.
Eddie... are we going to play this game or not?
- Ask me the bloody question! - All right, all right.
- Oh, it's so easy. - Oh, God.
Here it is.
Who was the last Labour prime minister
and if you don't get this you're an idiot.
Callaghan.
Mmm...
Yeah, can you be a bit more specific?
James Callaghan.
Yeah, well... could you give me a little bit more?
Richie, there is no more. That is the answer.
We have to go by what it says on the card, don't we?
- All right, I give up then. - Great. My go.
It says on the card, "James Callaghan. "
It says "James Callaghan" full stop, doesn't it?
"Callaghan" full stop.
You have to go by what it says on the card. It's the rules.
It's not my fault if you're too stupid to get the answer.
One. Damn-no, great! Showbiz, a pink category question!
It's my go! Uhhh!
Who was the star and director of the Rocky and Rambo films?
Ah, now, I know this.
I know this!
Ohhh...
- Ow. Errr... no, don't tell me. - I'm not going to.
It's coming, it's coming, it's coming and don't say, "Oo-er. "
Errrm...
What was the question again?
Who was the star and director of the Rocky and Rambo films?
Got it. Tarby.
- No. - It is.
The card must be wrong, it's definitely Tarby.
- It's not. It's Sylvester... - Stallone! I knew that one.
- I did know that. - You didn't say it.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
- It's my go. - But I knew it all the time.
I knew that one. It's still my go.
Richie...
in about 15 seconds I'm gonna have to punch you in the face.
And because I'm your minder I'm gonna have to defend you and beat myself up.
That way we're both gonna get hurt.
Why don't we avoid all this unpleasantness
and go for one teenie-weenie only-have-one-y drinkie?
Eddie, we're having a lovely quiet night in
playing a fantastic game of Triv.
We have to be up early, we can't go for a dr...
All right, Eddie, I'll let you have your go.
Go on. Go on!
I'll ask you a question, I hope I give you a hard one.
- Don't say "oo-er". - Oo-er.
- Geography. - Right.
- Oh, God, this is so easy. - Ah-ah-ah-ah!
All right.
What, then...
What is the world's northernmost capital city?
Reykjavik, comma, Iceland, full stop.
I suppose I'll have to give it you then.
- Why, because it's right? - Don't gloat!
- It's most unbecoming. - This is so boring!
Ha ha! Thought you were going to lose, didn't you?
Had to throw the board across the room.
Ask me a question, any question.
I'll get it right, I bet you a million pounds.
Go on, any question, it'll be great. Ask me, ask me, ask me.
Which jolly gap-toothed Scouser comedian
who now presents Winner Takes All
first rose to fame on Sunday Night At The London Palladium?
He enjoys the odd round of golf and his initials are JT.
Now, I know this.
JT?
Erm...
Erm, I know it, I do know it.
I know this, I know this, errrm...
- Got it. - Jimmy Tarbuck.
What? Oh, yes, of course - Tarby!
Yes, it's Tarby! I got another one.
- Ask me again! - This is pathetic!
You've just landed a contract at TV-am,
we should be out celebrating, not getting bored to death.
We've got to be up early to be bright and fresh at the studio.
Richie, if we went out for one little drinkie,
it might help us sleep. Just one.
I did win the game, didn't I?
Yes, you did. Very clever, well done.
All right, then. Just one little drink.
Uh-oh.
Lager frenzy!
Look, paparazzi scum!
Telephoto parasites photing me
on my quiet night out when I deserve privacy.
Leave my boy Richie alone! Give me that camera!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hit him, Eddie, hit him! You are Sean Penn!
- What did you hit him for? - Cos I don't hit girls.
- You sexist pig. - All right, then.
This liberation game's a lark, isn't it? Let's get drunk.
Oi, you two should go before I call the police.
I only tolerate this from celebrities.
Richie is reading the gossip on breakfast TV tomorrow.
- Is this true? - Of course, small minion,
I am... Richie Rich!
If you want a mensh get us some pop.
- Everybody, it's Richie Rich! - Who?
Richie, have a look at those two over there, eh? Whur-hur-hur!
Eddie, they're potted plants.
You'd have to be sloshed to fancy them.
- Let's get sloshed, then. - Here we are, boys.
Thank you, landlady, here's five pence.
Oh, Richie, what can I say?
Fantastic, I much prefer this club and it's on the way home.
- So just one drinkie here... - And straight home to bed.
Right.
Of all the clubs we've been to tonight, this is the best.
And it's still on the way home if you think about it.
But you have to think pretty stupidly, Eddie.
- We are in Liverpool now. - Right.
- Let's think stupidly about it. - Yeah.
You know, there's an element missing to this evening
which no true man should be without.
I don't follow you, Eddie.
I wouldn't advise anyone to follow me
as my bottom resembles nothing less than a wind tunnel.
What is this element...
that no true man should be without?
Well, we've had a few drinks,
we're out for a good time...
what's your mind turning to?
Of course.
Poppadom frenzy!
Oh, God.
Oh, blimey. Eddie, loosen my trousers, would you, old girl?
Why can't you do it?
Because you're the nearest.
Oh, all right, then.
Just down by my tummy.
Anyway, you have to do it cos I said you had to do it.
And you have to do what I say cos you're the pathetic nobody
and I'm the great, fantastic person.
That's what your life's all about, you zero.
Richie, have I ever told you the story about the tortoise and the hare?
Is it a dirty one?
No, that's the story about the tortoise and the donkey.
Oh. Tell me that one, then.
All right, then. There was once this really kinky tortoise.
- Uhhh! - Ruhhh!
Seriously into M&S.
Whoarr! M&S?
Marks and Spencer's.
- Whoargh! - Worked in the lingerie department.
- Ooh-hooo! - Anyway!
His supervisor, the donk...
- Donk? - Donkey.
Used to think he was a really conscientious worker
but really the tort was coming in early
to try on all the bras and try on all the knicks.
I better tell the story about the tortoise and the hare.
- You haven't got a punch line? - Yeah, that too.
- Who cares, we've got the cash. - Yeah!
Well, there was once this tortoise and this hare
and the tortoise was really slow and slothful
and called... Richie Rich.
Have you got it so far?
Look to the mote in thine own eye...
...is my answer to this.
Or look to the billions of fags, eight gallons of lager
and a crinkly old copies of Mayfair in thine own eye.
We're not talking about me, we're talking about you
and, of course, the hare.
Who is a real whizz kid go-getter,
wise-cracking gagster called Bobby Davro!
Me and Davs in a showbiz race, this is fantastic! Go on!
Well, the hare won totally cos Davro's got a bit of talent.
And the tort got run over by a bus
cos you're a talentless scumbag
and that's why you'll never have your own game show!
And that's the way you feel, is it?
Yep!
In which case it seems rather strange to me,
that they've asked me to go on breakfast teev in the morning.
That reminds me, what time is it?
- It's 4:15. - Right.
- When have we got to be there? - Er...
- 4:30. - Right. Where are we?
Southampton.
We've just got time for one more drink.
- A double? - Yeah.
Mr Filthy, there's 10 minutes left. I'm becoming very worried.
I know, Anne, my love. I am trying to trace them.
I am considering every possibility.
Hello, Battersea Dogs Home?
Yeah, did you pick up a couple of large dogs last night?
One in a poncy suit
and the other with a copy of Health And Efficiency in his pocket?
- No? Right, sod you then. - We're almost out of time.
The Pink Goddess has had a heart attack she's been exercising so long.
Look, daughter, I'll put this as politely as I can.
Shut your face, you silly old cow.
I knew we shouldn't have tried to save money on has-beens.
Hello, yes? Senior Service Club?
Yes, I can hold.
Hello. Do me a favour, would you?
Look out the window and see if there's two revolting offences to humanity
wiggling their backsides and saying, "We'll do anything for lager. "
There isn't? Well, sod you then.
Right, well...
that's it, Anne, my dear.
I have tried every conceivable possibility.
However, as I said, I do happen to have this manual
which I was hoping I could plug on your show instead.
I've told you before, TV-am is a family programme
and we do not broadcast smut.
Good morning, Britain!
Here we are, 4:30 in the morning and bang on time.
Gordon Honeycombe! Give me my papers and I'll finish the job!
Richie Rich and Eddie Catflap, what are you doing here?
Honestly, the one time in my life I want you to let me down and you don't.
I lose all my faith in human nature, I really do.
But, Filthy, you stressed...
You stressed we had to be here on time.
Which I thought was the one way of guaranteeing you wouldn't be.
I don't know what you're talking about and I'm too drunk to care.
This is where my success story begins.
From this small beginning a showbiz empire will be built. Come on, Eddie!
I hope you're proud of yourself.
Your plan to bring smut to TV-am has failed.
We remain a good, clean family programme.
You're really as sweet and innocent as you look on telly?
Yes, I am. I'm lovely.
Good morning, if you've just joined us.
Time for a look at the papers with our guest reviewer, Mr Richard Rich.
What? Oh.
Hello.
That's my little raspberry sound.
- Do the papers. - Oh, yes, right.
Here's the papers!
- I've done it then. - Read them.
Oh, yes. Just my little joke.
Right, hello, viewers.
Here's last night's gossip.
Let's start with John Fake in the Daily Bastard.
Always some juicy stuff in there.
Ooh, this looks good.
"Embarrassing incident with bare bottom
"in local eatery.
"Pathetic and forgotten has-been Richie Rich
"showed just how low he... "
Oh, that's me. "'I thought his helmet was the toilet,'
"claimed the has-been as a policeman... "
- Mr Richard Rich. - Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick.
- Eddie! Eddie! - What?
- This copper wants a statement. - Oh.
Right. "All coppers are bastards. " How's that?
Just tell me what you did earlier this evening.
It had something to do with our trousers.
- Exactly what you did. - We're still live! We're on air!
We'll sort this out, you're amongst professionals now.
What exactly did we do last night?
Oh, yeah.
- Shall we show him? - Yeah, let's show the world!
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Farscape - 1x19 - Nerve
Farscape - 1x20 - The Hidden Memory
Farscape - 1x21 - Bone To Be Wild
Farscape - 1x22 - Family Ties
Farscape - 2x01 - Mind The Baby
Farscape - 2x02 - Vitas Mortis
Farscape - 2x03 - Talking The Stone
Farscape - 2x04 - Crackers Dont Matter
Farscape - 2x05 - The Way We Werent
Farscape - 2x06 - Picture If You Will
Farscape - 2x07 - Home On The Remains
Farscape - 2x08 - Dream A Little Dream
Farscape - 2x09 - Out Of Their Minds
Farscape - 2x10 - My Three Crichtons
Farscape - 2x11 - Look At The Princess I - A Kiss Is But A Kiss
Farscape - 2x12 - Look At The Princess II - I Do I Think
Farscape - 2x13 - Look At The Princess III - The Maltese Crichton
Farscape - 2x14 - Beware Of Dog
Farscape - 2x15 - Wont Get Fooled Again
Farscape - 2x16 - The Locket
Farscape - 2x17 - The Ugly Truth
Farscape - 2x18 - A Clockwork Nebari
Farscape - 2x19 - Liars Guns and Money I - A Not So Simple Plan
Farscape - 2x20 - Liars Guns and Money II - With Friends Like These
Farscape - 2x21 - Liars Guns and Money III - Plan B
Farscape - 2x22 - Die Me Dichotomy
Farscape - 3x01 - Season Of Death
Farscape - 3x02 - Suns And Lovers
Farscape - 3x03 - Self Inflicted Wounds I - Coulda Woulda Shoulda
Farscape - 3x04 - Self Inflicted Wounds II - Wait For The Wheel
Farscape - 3x05 - Different Destinations
Farscape - 3x06 - Eat Me
Farscape - 3x07 - Thanks For Sharing
Farscape - 3x08 - Green Eyed Monster
Farscape - 3x09 - Losing Time
Farscape - 3x10 - Relativity
Farscape - 3x11 - Incubator
Farscape - 3x12 - Meltdown
Farscape - 3x13 - Scratch N Sniff
Farscape - 3x14 - Infinite Possibilities I - Daedalus Demands
Farscape - 3x15 - Infinite Possibilities II - Icarus Abides
Farscape - 3x16 - Revenging Angel
Farscape - 3x17 - The Choice
Farscape - 3x18 - Fractures
Farscape - 3x19 - I-Yensch You-Yensch
Farscape - 3x20 - Into The Lions Den I - Lambs To The Slaugher
Farscape - 3x21 - Into The Lions Den II - Wolf In Sheeps Clothing
Farscape - 3x22 - Dog With Two Bones
Farscape - 4x01 - Crichton Kicks
Farscape - 4x02 - What Was Lost (Part 1) - Sacrifice
Farscape - 4x03 - What Was Lost (Part 2) - Resurrection
Farscape - 4x04 - Lavas A Many Splendored Thing
Farscape - 4x05 - Promises
Farscape - 4x06 - Natural Election
Farscape - 4x07 - John Quixote
Farscape - 4x08 - I Shrink Therefore I Am
Farscape - 4x09 - A Prefect Murder
Farscape - 4x10 - Coup By Clam
Farscape - 4x11 - Unrealized Reality (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x12 - Kansas (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x13 - Terra Firma (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x14 - Twice Shy
Farscape - 4x15 - Mental As Anything
Farscape - 4x16 - Bringing Home The Beacon
Farscape - 4x17 - A Constellation Of Doubt
Farscape - 4x18 - Prayer
Farscape - 4x19 - We are So Screwed - Fetal Attraction (Part 1)
Farscape - 4x20 - We are So Screwed - Hot To Katratzi (Part 2)
Farscape - 4x21 - We are So Screwed - La Bomba (Part 3)
Farscape - 4x22 - Bad Timing
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 1)
Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars (Part 2)
Fast And Furious
Fat Choi Spirit
Fata Morgana
Fate Ignoranti Le
Father of a Soldier (Rezo Chkheidze 1964)
Father of the Bride
Fawlty Towers
Fear Dot Com
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fear of Fear (Rainer Werner Fassbinder 1975)
Feed the Kitty (1952)
Fellowship of the Ring The
Female Convict Scorpion Beast Stable 1973 Shunya Ito
Female Prisoner 701 Scorpion 1972
Femme Fatale (2002)
Fiances The 1962
Fierce Creatures (1997)
Fight Club CD1
Fight Club CD2
Fighter in the Wind
Fighting Fish 2004
Fille Sur La Pont La
Filles Uniques 2003
Film That Was Never Made A
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x01
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x02
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x03
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x04
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x05
Filthy, Rich and Catflap 01x06
Final Countdown The 1980 CD1
Final Countdown The 1980 CD2
Final Destination - New Line Platinum Series
Final Fantasy
Final Friday The - Jason Goes To Hell 25fps
Final Insult The
Final Nightmare The
Finders Fee (Jeff Probst 2001)
Finding Forrester 2000
Finding Nemo
Fire in the Sky
Firefly - Serenity (pilot)
Firefly 1x01 - The train job
Firefly 1x02 - Bushwhacked
Firefly 1x03 - Shindig
Firefly 1x04 - Safe
Firefly 1x05 - Our mrs Reynolds
Firefly 1x06 - Jaynestown
Firefly 1x07 - Out of gas
Firefly 1x08 - Ariel
Firefly 1x09 - War stories
Firefly 1x10 - Trash
Firefly 1x11 - The message
Firefly 1x12 - Heart of gold
Firefly 1x13 - Objects in space
Firelight
Firemens Ball The 1967
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD1
First Great Train Robbery The 1978 CD2
First Men In The Moon 1964
First Power The
Fish Called Wanda A
Fisher King The
Fistful Of Dollars A
Fistful of Dynamite A CD1
Fistful of Dynamite A CD2
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD1
Five Easy Pieces 1970 CD2
Fiza
Flash Gordon CD1
Flash Gordon CD2
Fled
Flesh and Blood CD1
Flesh and Blood CD2
Fletch
Flight Of The Intruder CD1 1991
Flight Of The Intruder CD2 1991
Flipper (1996) CD1
Flipper (1996) CD2
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD1
Flower of the Arabian Nights 1974 CD2
Flubber 1997 CD1
Flubber 1997 CD2
Fly Away Home
Fly The (Kurt Neumann 1958)
Fog of war The 2003 limited theatrical version
For A Few Dollars More 1965
For Scent-imental Reasons (1949)
Foreigner The
Fourth Man
Frankenfish 2004
Frankenstrom
Frankenstrom 2001
Frantic (1988)
Frasier 01x01 - The Good Son
Frasier 01x02 - Space Quest
Frasier 01x03 - Dinner At Eight
Frasier 01x04 - I Hate Frasier Crane
Frasier 01x05 - Heres Looking At You
Frasier 01x06 - The Crucible
Frasier 01x07 - Call Me Irresponsible
Frasier 01x08 - Beloved Infidel
Frasier 01x09 - Selling Out
Frasier 01x10 - Oops
Frasier 01x12 - Miracle On Third Or Fourth Street
Frasier 02x01 - Slow Tango in South Seattle
Frasier 02x02 - The Unkindest Cut of All
Frasier 02x03 - Commentary by Director David Lee and Writer Joe Keenan
Frasier 02x03 - The Matchmaker
Frasier 02x04 - Flour Child
Frasier 02x05 - Dukes We Hardly Knew You
Frasier 02x06 - The Botched Language of Cranes
Frasier 02x07 - The Candidate
Frasier 02x08 - Adventures in Paradise Part 1
Frasier 02x09 - Adventures in Paradise Part 2
Frasier 02x10 - Burying a Grudge
Frasier 02x11 - Seat of Power
Frasier 02x12 - Roz in the Doghouse
Frasier 02x13 - Retirement is Murder
Frasier 02x14 - Fool Me Once Shame on You Fool Me Twice
Frasier 02x15 - You Scratch My Book
Frasier 02x16 - The Show Where Sam Shows Up
Frasier 02x17 - Daphnes Room
Frasier 02x18 - The Club
Frasier 02x19 - Someone to Watch Over Me
Frasier 02x20 - Breaking the Ice
Frasier 02x21 - An Affair to Forget
Frasier 02x22 - Agents In America Part 3
Frasier 02x23 - The Innkeepers
Frasier 02x24 - Dark Victory
Freddys Revenge A
Fredrikssons Fabrikk
Free Willy 1993
Free Willy 2 - The Adventure Home
Free Willy 3 - The Rescue
Freeway (Sous-titres)
French Connection II (1975)
French Connection The
Frenzy (1972)
Fresh (1994)
Fresh Bait 1995
Friday
Friday Night (2002)
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th Part 8
Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies
Friends - 02x09 - the one with with phoebes dad
Friends - 02x11 - the one with the lesbian wedding
Friends - 02x13 - the one after the superbowl part 2
Friends - 02x15 - the one where ross and rachel you know
Friends - 02x16 - the one where joey moves out
Friends - 02x18 - the one where dr ramoray dies
Friends - 02x20 - the one where old yeller dies
Friends - 02x22 - the one with two parties
Friends - 02x24 - the one with barry and mindys wedding
Friends - 10x01 - TOW After Joey And Rachel Kiss
Friends - 10x02 - TOW Where Ross Is Fine
Friends - 10x03 - TOW Ross Tan
Friends - 10x04 - TOW the cake
Friends - 10x05 - TOW Rachels Sister Babysits
Friends - 10x06 - TOW Rosss Grant
Friends - 10x07 - TOW The Home Study
Friends - 10x08 - TOW the late Thanksgiving
Friends - 10x09 - TOW the birth mother
Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2