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Frasier 02x04 - Flour Child

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(Woman) 'lt's not that l don't like him.
'But he's gotten so attached.
'l mean, roses every day after two dates! '
Maggie, first thing you have to do
is sit Gavin down for a nice long conversation.
Tell him frankly that, though he wants to go at one speed,
you need to go at another.
Tell him you're not rejecting him, you are fond of him, but...
l wonder what Roz, my non-PhD-holding producer, thinks you should do.
Any guy who's that clingy after two dates has a major insecurity problem.
l say, ''Dump him. Now. And don't look back.''
(Maggie ) 'lt's so good to hear that, Roz.
'That's what l wanted to do, but l felt so guilty. Thanks so much. Bye.'
That takes us to a commercial.
This, for those who have forgotten, is the Dr Frasier Crane Show.
l confirmed your dinner reservation for three.
At your father's request, that's at Chez Shrimp.
Two letters to sign - a card for Clarence, the guard, we're all signing,
and a notice on the KACL bowling team that l'll file in the trash.
Oh, wonderful. Another card.
l, as resident wit, will have to be clever.
At least l've got another KACL birthday bash to look forward to.
l can just taste that frozen cake now
and hear wild applause as an adult snuffs out a handful of tiny candles.
- What are you grousing about? - Oh, nothing.
(Card plays tune )
Yes, the pageantry never stops.
(Martin) Mr Fancy Pants.
- He's got to buy a German car. - lt's not my fault we broke down.
lf you'd bought American, they could fix it here.
l always buy American so you can go to the nearest garage.
l could break down alone in the middle of Alaska!
A thought to raise all our spirits.
This traffic is murder. We could walk, but humidity may ruin my loafers.
Does calfskin pucker?
Yes, that's why on humid farms,
the calf is the most made fun of of all the animals.
Don't be snide. We'll be here for a while.
Let's try and make pleasant conversation.
We are a family. lt shouldn't be that hard.
Have you been driving long?
- Not really. - Got any good stories?
Ever hear of a woman having a baby in a cab?
- lt's a classic. - Why? Did that happen in this cab?
- lt's about to. - You're pregnant?
Yes. Ow!
Don't panic. lt may be false labour.
My waters just broke. l'm in a puddle of water.
Calfskin!
- Closest hospital is First Methodist. - We'll never make it. Pull over!
- Try to park facing downhill. - Niles!
- l can't have my baby here. - There's no need to be concerned.
We are trained medical professionals. Niles, help her!
- Hurry! - l know.
The other door! Oh, for goodness sake!
ls anybody there? Come in!
lt's most important to breathe deeply. Do as l do.
- Do you feel faint or short of breath? - Yes, both of those.
- (Man) 'Hello? Go ahead.' - Yes, l'm calling from cab No 804.
This is an emergency. Your driver just went into labour.
We're at the corner of 1 4th and Sycamore.
- We need an ambulance now. - (Man) 'OK.'
- lt hurts. - lt's natural.
- No, you're squeezing my hand. - l only did this once in medical school.
l remember lots of blood and a lino floor hurtling toward my forehead.
- You fainted? - Switch places and see how you do!
Good God, Niles! l'll do this!
- The baby's really coming now! - When he does come, l'll catch him.
Just continue with your breathing.
Don't feel guilty for having a baby in a cab.
Nothing to be ashamed of. Many great Americans have been born this way.
Cab Calloway comes to mind.
l'm a psychiatrist. l specialise in the head, not the lower body.
lt's less messy that way.
Not that your lower portion is messy. lt's beautiful. Not that l'm looking!
- ls the pain that bad? - No, you're driving me crazy!
Move it out, come on!
- You a doctor, too? - No, a retired cop.
Well what took you so long? lt's really hurting.
Everything's going to be just fine.
l've delivered a few babies, and some are older than you are now.
Frasier will hold your hand, Niles will look out for an ambulance
and l'll help your beautiful baby out. OK?
- OK. - Are there any questions?
Should our meter still be running?
(Daphne ) Hello? Are you back yet?
Well, go on, turn your heads.
OK. So l guess you've had some excitement tonight.
No, l haven't!
Your father made it sound exciting on the phone: delivering a baby in a taxi.
l see that not as excitement
but as my duty to use the skills l honed in medical school.
Yes, Niles ran to a falafel stand for a pot of hot water.
l can't get over the feeling of being there when a person's life begins.
One minute, it's a blob inside some lady, next minute, it's a person.
Blob - person.
The miracle of birth summed up in one poetic phrase.
l bet you have fond memories of your son's birth.
Oh, yes, of course.
The first time l held him in my arms as a newborn,
it was as if everything else simply melted away.
There was just a father, a son and the distant sound of Lilith saying,
''lf you come near me again, Frasier, l'll drop you with a deer rifle!''
At least now fathers see their sons being born.
ln my day, they stuck us in the waiting room,
smoking and reading Life magazine.
l remember what l was reading when Niles was born.
lt was about Mickey Mantle.
Talk about life setting you up for a fall.
- l'm turning in. - Night, Dad.
l wonder what dreams l'll have after this talk about childbearing.
Probably the one where my mother says,
''Daphne, you're 50 and you've never given me grandchildren.''
So l say, ''That was my choice. l was thinking of my career.''
''But did you ever think of me?''
''Mother, l don't want to start this again. Just drop it!''
But will she drop it? ''Oh, shut up, Mother!''
l wonder how many more people she's got in there.
- Sherry, Niles? - No, thank you.
- Something on your mind? - Actually, yes.
For months, l've noticed my thoughts drifting to the same subject -
will l ever be a father? There are pros and cons.
But, watching that birth, l realised it's something l really want.
l think.
lt's natural to have parental stirrings.
l wake up nights thinking about it.
- Have you talked to Maris? - Not yet.
l like to know what l want before Maris tells me.
l'm just not sure l'm ready for fatherhood.
No one is ever sure. These days, teenagers who want to become parents
are given a sack of flour to keep for a week, as if it were a baby.
- You're kidding? - No. They hold it, they care for it.
lt gives a good idea of the responsibility of parenthood.
What could be better than hands-on experience? Might be worth a try!
- l wasn't... - Why not? Maris is away.
l'm desperate to resolve the issue. Where do you keep the flour?
ln the kitchen.
The cabinet next to the sink.
Yes, here it is. ''Extra-refined.''
lt's taking after its old man already.
No, that's the sugar. We're going to do this right.
Now, here is the flour.
''Bleached, 100% fat free, best when kept in an airtight container.''
This one's taking after its mother.
Hello. May l join you? Or should l say, ''May we?''
Mais oui. So you're continuing with our little baby experiment?
Yes. And it's been quite a learning experience.
Not easy, though! l take him everywhere,
get up for 2:00 am feedings, the whole exhausting nine yards.
What a beautiful baby! How old is he?
- Eight weeks. - Great age, isn't it?
Niles? l can't help noticing that your child has a little boo-boo.
lt's nothing. l was playing him some Brahms.
Never too early to ingrain them.
l must have begun conducting with a chopstick
and l accidentally ran him through.
What young parent doesn't tell that story?
The scuffs were the fault of my new houseman, Ngee.
- What did Ghee do? - No, it's Ngee.
- Ghee. - No, no. Ngee.
Oh, who cares? What did he do?
He'd just given my car a shine, when l sat the baby on the roof
and down it went onto the driveway.
Would you watch him while l order?
(Roz) Hey, Frase. This seat taken?
Well, actually... No.
Clarence is doing better. l just dropped his card off.
- Clarence? - The guard.
Oh, down at the station. Good. l didn't know he was sick.
You signed his ''get well'' card.
That wasn't a birthday card?
No, he's in hospital having a kidney transplant.
Oh, my God! l thought it was his birthday.
l wrote, ''You're not getting older, just closer to death.''
How could you think it was his birthday?
l didn't recognise the traditional card for a sick man - a giant bunny.
- Has he read it yet? - No, he was asleep.
l'll look so callous. We've got to get that card back!
How can you be leaving? l asked you to baby-sit!
l have no time for your insanity!
l have to go steal a ''get well'' card from a kidney patient.
(Daphne ) What does that say ''Geb...''?
No, it's ''Get''. ''Get well soon. Love, Andrea.''
Just copy it down and move on to the next name.
We have to transfer all the names on to the new card.
l want to get it back tonight.
So you snuck into his room and stole his card?
l did not sneak in. Luckily, he was in extreme pain and heavily sedated.
You should have found out who this Clarence was.
You never pay attention to the little people.
Yes, why don't we invite the commoners
to drag me to the square and stone me.
(Doorbell)
That must be Niles. He's taking me to the hospital.
- Hello, Niles. - Hello, Frasier.
- What are you doing with that? - Forging a parent-child bond.
That's a relief. l was afraid it might be something stupid.
l don't wear it in public. But l want a true picture of parenthood.
- And? - lt's driving me batty.
Feedings every two hours, constantly monitoring where he is.
You can get obsessed with worry.
Last night, l dreamt my flour sack was abducted
and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.
On the plus side, l've learnt a lot.
lf l ever go through the real thing, l'll make a wonderful parent.
Niles, what has happened to your child?
l was practising my t'ai chi
and l accidentally kicked him into the reflecting pool.
Then l brought him inside and left him by the hearth to dry.
He caught on fire?
lt was not that careless.
A real child would have cried before it burst into flames.
(Alarm beeps)
Ah! Time for his nap!
- Turn him over if he starts fussing. - No.
- l'm role-playing, Dad. - Try the role of a sane person.
So, any closer to making a decision about fatherhood?
No. One minute, l think l could never stand the stress,
the next, l'm daydreaming about taking my son to the museum
or listening to his first ''Für Elise'' and l swear there are tears in my eyes.
(Eddie growls)
Oh, dear... Eddie!
(Australian accent) That dingo's got your baby.
Oh, God! Eddie, Dad!
Don't worry. l'll clean up that mess.
For God's sake, calm down! l think it's time you realised something.
That is not a person. lt's a bag of flour.
lt's easy to tell the difference.
People don't have recipes on their backs.
This is stupid! We're talking about having a baby here.
You make that decision in your gut, not intellectually.
What is your gut feeling?
- l'm not sure. - You'd better be.
Nothing can prepare you for having a kid.
lt's hard. Full of surprises.
Maybe your kid won't want piano lessons.
- He might like baseball. - Don't even say that.
Just trust yourself. You'll know if it's right or not.
l'm finished, if you're ready to take me to the hospital.
l wonder if this experiment wasn't just a way of convincing myself
l'm ready for something, when l know l'm not.
- What do you mean? - l want to have a baby.
But l just don't want it enough.
Oh... That's the hardest thing l've ever had to admit.
- Why do you say that? - Because it's so selfish.
l'm the right age, l have the money, the energy.
lt's only selfish to have babies for the wrong reasons.
People should find out if they're ready.
Anyway, feeling this way now
doesn't mean things can't change in a few years.
Perhaps you're right.
Maris and l will be over 40 then.
Maybe we should look into getting some of her eggs frozen.
Oh, l suspect they're only a few degrees away from that now.
Who is this Clarence fellow?
Some guy down at the station.
(Music plays)
Dr Crane! lt's Clarence! Were you in there looking for me?
- As a matter of fact, l was. - They changed my room.
This is so sweet of you.
Clarence is such a fixture, the station isn't the same without him.
You find the time to come here
while the rest of those bums at the station don't even send me a card.
Actually, Clarence, there's an explanation for that.
(Patient) Make the music stop!
You see, the others at the station don't know you the way l do.
Well, listen, you get yourself well.
l miss seeing you every time l walk by the...
...place you tend to be.
Niles!
What are you doing?
Looking at these babies, wondering if l made the right decision.
- Niles... - Look at them!
They're healthy, beautiful, lovable...
Flammable.
Maybe l'm more ready for parenthood than l thought.
- Hey, what are you guys doing here? - Arleen! And this must be...
Yes, little Nathan.
l'm so glad l ran into you. We both want to thank you guys again.
Would one of you like to hold him?
Yes, l would.
Oh, he's beautiful.
Yes, why shouldn't you cry?
Everything's so new to you...
So much life to live...
- No, you've got his leg bent back. - Oh, God!
l'm sorry.
Well, see you, guys. Say ''hi'' to your dad for me.
- Perhaps l made the right decision. - l'd say so. Ready to go?
(Baby murmurs)
# Hey baby, l hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Mercy!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused Well, maybe, but l got you pegged
# But l don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again #
Good night!
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Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2