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Frasier 02x07 - The Candidate

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(Martin) Quiet. lt's starting.
(TV Presenter) 'This is a political announcement for Holden Thorpe. '
You dragged us here to see Thorpe?
He's a fascist, like Himmler without the whimsy.
(Man) 'Another American for Holden Thorpe.'
'l'm Marty Crane.'
- Dear God! - 'For 30 years l was a cop.
'Then l was shot by an assassin who wouldn't have been free
'if it weren't for the bleeding hearts in Congress.
'l used to carry a gun. Now l carry a cane.
'l'm voting for Holden Thorpe. He's running because l can't.'
- Well? - l don't know what to say.
- l'm in a state of shock! - Aren't we all?
You were wonderful. This calls for a celebration.
- What'll you have? - Give me a beer.
Dad, how did this happen?
l was in the park, there was a rally for Thorpe.
l talked to his people, told them l was an ex-cop
and they shoved a camera in my face.
- They're exploiting you. - No, they're not. l like Thorpe.
How could you support that odious hose-head?
He once said, ''Cancer aside, tobacco is good for the economy.''
He's for more cops on the street.
lt can't hurt, now everyone's armed.
We don't have many guns in England.
You don't need guns. You've got kidney pie.
Hello.
- lt's Duke. - Oh!
- Sherry? - l couldn't, Niles. l'm too upset.
l'm glad you liked it.
l've got a lot of showbiz secrets to tell you.
They can make you cry on cue by pulling a hair out of your nose.
What? Really? Guys, quick! Channel 1 4! My other spot!
This one was my idea. Remember Lyndon Johnson showing his scar?
'Hi, l'm Marty Crane.
'Crime isn't pretty. lf you don't believe me, look at this.'
- Can l help you? - What's on today?
- Kenyan blend. - No, no, no.
They still poach elephants. What else?
- Dark roast Brazilian. - Not till they stop rain forest loss.
- Salvadoran? - Not with their human rights record.
We're down to the Hawaiian Cona blend.
Or have they slaughtered too many macadamia nuts?
That'll be fine, thank you.
- Niles. - l can't stand it.
l just walked by a store with 22 TV sets in the window showing Dad's...
...butt.
l saw it. l don't know what's worse -
seeing his butt, or what it stands for.
l just can't believe our father is actually endorsing
that self-serving fear-monger.
l've given this a lot of thought and l realise Dad isn't the problem.
He's supporting his candidate. The problem lies with us.
- Us? We've done nothing. - Exactly.
''For evil to triumph requires only that good men do nothing.''
- Edmund Burke. - l have that quotation framed.
l mean to put it in my office but keep forgetting.
Anyway, the time has come for you and me to get involved.
How?
Support Thorpe's opponent, Phil Patterson.
- l'm voting for Patterson. - l had something more in mind.
l spoke to some people at Patterson's headquarters.
They'd like you to do a TV endorsement.
Niles, l'd love to help,
but you must realize that, as a radio psychiatrist,
l can't take the chance of alienating my listeners.
People needing help might be put off if they knew my politics.
Think about it. A candidate like this doesn't come often.
He's hard working, he volunteers at a soup kitchen.
He cares about people. He believes in what we believe in.
- Buy chocolates, send a kid to camp. - Can't you see we're talking?
Thank you for your call, Susan. We'll be back after this message.
(Holden Thorpe ) 'Crime: it's epidemic. lt strikes fast and it can strike you.
'l'm Holden Thorpe. Send me to Washington because...'
...it's better than having you here.
He makes it sound like it's either vote for him
or be found murdered in bed.
l wouldn't worry, Roz. What are the chances of finding you there alone?
- Sports fan, how they hanging? - OK.
l was talking to Roz.
Ten seconds.
(Thorpe ) 'Vote for me. My programme gives the streets back to the people.'
That's good. With your tax programme that's where they'll be sleeping.
We'll be back for one more call after this newsbreak.
Then, next up, Bob Bulldog Brisco...
and the Gonzo Sports Show.
- l've asked you not to do that. - Way to be impartial, Doc.
Thorpe's a good man. You voting for that pretty boy Patterson?
He's great. His reapportionment plan makes sense.
Forget it. He's happily married.
So is Thorpe. His wife's a cow, he still loves her.
- There's a bumper sticker. - Back in a minute.
l liked your shot at Thorpe. Our next caller disagrees.
Really? Put him on. l welcome contrasting viewpoints.
Hello, Seattle. Roz, who is on the line?
On line one, we have Holden Thorpe.
- Go ahead, caller. - (Thorpe ) 'Crane? Thorpe.
- 'Let me ask you, are you married?' - Divorced.
- 'Did you ever serve in the military?' - l have congenitally weak ankles.
'l see. So a guy like you - unmarried, didn't serve his country -
'criticizes a patriotic family man who fought in the battle of Grenada.
- 'l went in on the first wave.' - On a surfboard, l suppose.
'When the likes of you are off the radio,
'America will be a nice, friendly place to live again.'
You've said your piece; now listen to mine.
Hang up, will you? You may not listen, but Seattle will hear me out.
They won't. The show ended five seconds ago.
Oh, hello, there.
l'm Dr Frasier Crane. You may know me from my radio show.
Today, l'm speaking as a concerned citizen.
As a mental health expert, l've been listening to Phil Patterson.
l like the way his mind works.
He's a visionary who cares about the little people.
That's why l'm proud to say l'm behind Phil Patterson for Congress.
Thanks, Frasier. Together, we can live the dream.
Phil Patterson: the sane choice.
OK, give us five minutes to adjust the lights and we'll shoot.
Yes, adjust those lights.
They need to be... lighter and...brighter.
- Thanks, Frasier. - Our pleasure.
The Cranes have a history of political involvement.
My wife has all our servants at your campaign HQ licking envelopes.
She'd do it herself, but the poor thing can't produce saliva.
- Hello. - You agreed to keep him out.
You know how he gets. He whines and whimpers until you can't stand it.
Don't let them talk about you like that.
She was talking about me.
- Hi. Marty Crane. - Phil Patterson.
You look familiar but l can't place you.
- Let me give you a hint. - Dad!
l'm just trying to help the guy!
He did a commercial for your opponent.
Yes. lt came back to me.
Hello. Daphne Moon.
My uncle was a political writer for a London tabloid.
l remember his biggest scoop. The headline read:
''High-ranking politician caught in women's clothing.''
On page two you found out it was Margaret Thatcher,
but by then you'd bought the paper.
- Thank you, Miss Moon. - lt's a little hot.
- Want to step out on the balcony? - Great.
- Oh, beautiful view. - Thank you.
Yes, l feel very lucky living here.
And l feel lucky to be a part of your campaign, as well.
lt's me who's lucky. lt's a boost to get an endorsement from you.
- My name doesn't carry much weight. - People love you.
l've listened to your show.
To tell the truth, l've even thought of calling in.
Really? What for?
Oh, it's kind of sensitive.
Listen, Phil, as a psychiatrist,
anything you tell me will be in confidence.
lt's funny how, the more you bottle things up inside,
the bigger they seem to be.
Well, l've never told anybody this before but...
OK, here goes.
Six years ago,
l was abducted by aliens.
Aliens?
They took me to their spaceship for a conference.
They're concerned about our planet.
Hey, you were right. Now l've said it out loud,
it's doesn't seem like that big a deal.
No.
They're ready, gentlemen. Let's elect a Congressman!
Frasier?
Frasier?
(Man) Roll it. And... Action.
Hello. l'm Dr Frasier Crane.
You may know me from my radio show,
but today, l'm speaking as a concerned citizen.
A deeply concerned citizen.
As a mental health expert, l've been listening
to what my good friend, Phil Patterson, has to say.
l like the way his mind works.
He's a visionary who cares about...
...the ''little people''.
That's why l'm proud to say
that l'm behind Phil Patterson for Congress.
Thanks, Frasier.
Together, we can live the dream.
Phil Patterson...
the sane choice.
- OK, cut! - God, l'm burning up!
You were nervous. Take a few minutes and we'll try again.
l got mine on the first take!
Frasier, may l see you in the kitchen?
What's going on?
l've something to get off of my chest
but l'd be violating doctor-patient confidence.
Nothing is more sacrosanct than professional ethics.
Fortunately, l know a trick to get around them.
l'll be your psychiatrist. Then you can spill your guts with impunity.
lt's borderline, but l'm desperate.
Just now, on the balcony,
Phil Patterson told me he had been... abducted by aliens.
Apparently, he was beamed up to the mother ship
for a little interplanetary chitchat.
This is bad, isn't it?
Niles, it's awful. We'll look like such idiots!
We? lt was your idea to get into politics.
My idea? l can't believe you have the gall to tell me...
l wanted to stop you.
This isn't getting us anywhere. Put that away!
All right. What are we going to do?
Convince Phil to drop out and seek help.
- lf he drops out, Thorpe wins. - Forget it!
- Then forget education and the arts. - l should still back Phil?
Can you tell me with certainty, in such a vast universe,
there isn't intelligent life elsewhere?
At present, l'm not sure there is intelligent life in this kitchen!
Assume it's in his imagination. How often does he see them?
Only once. Which suggests it was brought on by overwork,
rather than a paranoid delusion.
- My diagnosis exactly. - Phil deserves his chance.
- He still needs professional help. - Yes! The best there is.
- But we won't turn our backs on him. - No. So will you treat him?
l'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!
lt's time l got my eyebrows waxed. l'm getting that Romanian peasant look.
- lt doesn't help that l haven't slept. - Dating a snorer?
l'm getting tired of your constant insinuation that l sleep around.
l didn't sleep 'cause of Chopper Dave. When he's bored with traffic reports,
he likes to buzz people's apartments in his helicopter.
- Annoying. - lt didn't bother me.
But the guy l was with is a Vietnam vet and he had flashbacks.
Greetings, losers! Heard the news?
One of your overpaid idols passed his urine test?
Laugh, but word's out about Patterson and his aliens.
- My God! - lt's all over TV.
- How did they find out? - You can't keep this quiet.
Every station is serving his heart on a platter.
lt's just like the media to find a flaw to ruin a career.
l have a conduit to the public ear.
- l won't let Phil go without a fight! - What aliens?
Patterson's got two illegal aliens from Guatemala working in his house.
No green cards, no documents, no chance!
Hello, Seattle. This is Dr Frasier Crane.
l have just learned that it has become public knowledge
that Phil Patterson believes in aliens from outer space.
Not only that, he believes he has met them,
that he was beamed aboard their spaceship for a chat.
Shocked? Well, all right. But let's ask ourselves these questions.
Does this harmless delusion,
most likely brought on by overwork and sleep deprivation,
adversely affect his voting record? l say no!
What leader doesn't have quirks?
Reagan saw astrologers. Patton believed in reincarnation.
Even Hoover let his slip show once in a while.
People, this is a great leader.
We shouldn't consider minor eccentricities.
What's important, what really counts, is what's in here.
l'm pointing at my chest now.
(TV Presenter) 'The results are in. Holden Thorpe is elected
'with a whopping 92% of the vote.'
At least Mr Patterson got 8%.
They must have counted absentee votes from planet Krypton.
Now, Dr Crane. lt wasn't all your fault.
Those Guatemalans would have cost him votes anyway.
Those Guatemalans were exchange students.
Phil gave them room and board to show goodwill between countries.
l'd like to stay and gloat, but l've got to change
to go to the celebration at Thorpe HQ. You're welcome to tag along.
You're quite a hero down there!
No, thank you!
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
When will l learn it hurts when l do that?
(Doorbell)
- Oh. Phil. Come on in. - Hi, Frasier. Thank you.
Just came by to return this good-luck tie you loaned me.
l saw you wearing it for your concession speech.
A little embarrassing, having to do it before lunch.
But it gave me time to pick up my dry cleaning.
- l am so sorry. - lt's OK.
- You thought you were defending me. - Seattle deserves better than Thorpe.
That's politics. lt's just one election.
- l'll be back. - You really think you can?
Maybe l'm a dreamer, but l believe anything's possible.
Phil.
l've got to ask you...
Do you really believe it happened?
l honestly wish l could say it didn't, but it did.
l guess you'll never believe it unless it happens to you.
So, what's next for you?
Maybe l'll run in California.
A thing like this could actually help me there.
Anything's possible.
Oh, very funny, Chopper Dave!
# Hey baby, l hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Quite stylish!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused Well, maybe...but l got you pegged!
# But l don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again #
Good night, Seattle, we love you!
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Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2