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Subtitles for Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies.

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Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies

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So how was Joan?
Broke up with her.
Oh, why?
Don't tell me. Because of the big nostril thing?
They were huge!
When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
They were not that huge.
I' m telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
How many women will you reject. . .
. . .over superficial, insignificant things--
Hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one.
When I first moved here, I went out with this girl.
Really hot. Great kisser. . .
. . .but she had the biggest Adam's apple.
Drove me nuts.
-You or me? -I got it.
Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
You guys are messing with me, right?
Yeah. We are!
That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa!
The One Where Heckles Dies
English Subtitles by GELULA & CO., INC. Düzenleme : EviLL
You name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason.
Maureen Rasillo.
Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason.
Hello, Mr. Heckles.
You' re doing it again.
We' re not doing anything.
You' re stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
You don't have birds.
I could have birds.
We'll try to keep it down.
Thank you.
I' m going to rejoin my dinner party.
All right, bye-bye.
Okay, Janice.
Give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
We'll give you Janice.
I miss Janice, though.
Hello, Chandler Bing!
Oh, my God!
Oh, Chandler!
Now! Now!
That's it.
There! Faster!
Stop with the broom! We' re not making noise!
We won.
We did it!
Mr. Heckles!
-How did this happen? -He was sweeping.
They found a broom in his hand.
-That's terrible. -I know.
I was sweeping yesterday.
It could've been me.
Sweeping. You never know.
Never know.
It's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building.
Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Okay, Phoebe.
I' m sorry, but sometimes they need help.
Here we go.
That's fine, go ahead and scoff.
There are a lot of things I don't believe in. . .
. . .but that doesn't mean they' re not true.
Such as?
Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
What, you don't believe in evolution?
Not really.
You don't believe in evolution?
I don't know. It's just, you know. . . .
Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy.
"Too easy"? Too--
The process of every living thing on this planet evolving. . .
. . .over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"?
Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe.
Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe. . .
. . .Iike gravity.
Don't get me started on gravity.
You don't believe in gravity?
Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it.
Lately I get the feeling that. . .
. . .I' m not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Pushed.
It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed.
There she is. And over there, that's the other one.
This is Mr. Buddy Doyle, Heckles' attorney.
He'd like to talk to you.
What can we do for you?
All right, kids, here's the deal.
According my client's will. . .
. . .he wants to leave all his earthly possessions. . .
. . .to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine. "
What about his family?
He didn't have any.
Okay, so let's talk money.
All right, there was none.
Now, let's talk signing.
You be noisy girl number one. You be noisy girl number two.
I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us.
Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life. . .
. . .without even knowing it?
Would you look at this dump?
He hated us! This was his final revenge!
I've never seen so much crap!
Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.
Check this out.
Can I have this?
How can you not believe in evolution?
I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
Pheebs, I've studied evolution my entire adult life.
And we've collected fossils from all over the world. . .
. . .that actually show the evolution of different species.
I mean, you can literally see them. . .
. . .evolving through time.
Really? You can actually see it?
You bet! ln the U.S., China, Africa, all over!
See, I didn't know that.
Well, there you go.
So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?
Look at this! My Big Book of Grievances.
Hey, there's me!
"April 1 7th, excessive noise. . .
. . .Italian guy comes home with a date. "
You' re in here too.
"April 1 8th, excessive noise. . .
. . .Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning. "
Well, that's excellent.
Look at this lamp.
Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
I think we have enough regular lamps.
What? Come on, it's not like. . .
. . .I' m asking for this girlie clock or anything.
Which, by the way, I also think is really cool.
Look, it doesn't go with any of my stuff.
Well, what about my stuff?
You don't have any stuff.
You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Yes, you do.
You think of it as your apartment and I just rent a room.
While you "mmm" on that, I'll go find a place for my new lamp.
Okay, Pheebs. See how I' m making these little toys move?
Opposable thumbs!
Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
Tell me you' re joking.
Look, can't we say that you believe in something and I don't?
-No, Pheebs, we can't. -Why not?
What is this obsessive need to make everybody agree with you?
No, what's that all about? You know what I think?
I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Check it out. Heckles' high-school yearbook.
He looks so normal!
He's even kind of cute.
"Heckles, you crack me up in science class.
You' re the funniest kid in school. "
-Funniest? Heckles? -That's what it says.
Heckles was voted class clown, and so was l.
He was right! Would you listen to that?
I'd call that excessive.
What?
Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet.
He was in the scale modeler's club and I was--
There was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
So? You were both dorks.
Big deal.
I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me--
Heckles and me. Me--
Me and Heckles.
Hey, would you knock it off!
Have you been here all night?
Look at this.
Pictures of all the women Heckles went out with.
Look what he wrote on them. "Vivian, too tall. "
"Madge, big gums. "
"Too loud. "
"Too smart. " "Makes noise when she eats. "
This is me.
This is what I do.
I' m gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Heckles was a nut case.
Our trains are on the same track.
I' m coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same.
Bitter Town. . .
. . .Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!
You know what we gotta do? Get you out of here.
I'll buy you breakfast.
What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her. . .
. . .but I dumped her because she pronounces it, "supposably"?
Chandler, come on, you' re gonna find somebody.
How do you know that? How?
I don't know. I' m just trying to help you out.
You guys will all get married. . .
. . .and I'll end up alone.
Will you promise me something?
When you' re married, will you invite me over for holidays?
I don't know what we'll be doing.
I mean, what if we' re over at her folks' place?
Yeah, I understand.
You can come over and watch the Super Bowl.
Every year, all right?
You know what? I' m not gonna end up like this.
I'll see you, man.
"Supposably. "
Supposably!
Did they go to the zoo?
Supposably.
Hi. It's me.
Oh, my God!
Janice? You called Janice?
Yes. Janice.
Why is that difficult to comprehend?
You remember Janice, right?
Yes. She was smart, she was pretty and she honestly cared about me.
Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Oh, my God!
Jeez, look how fat she got.
-Hey, it's everybody! -Hi, Janice.
Janice, you' re. . . .
Yes, I am.
-Is it--? -Is it yours?
You wish, Chandler Bing!
You are looking at a married lady now.
Congratulations.
Sweetie, I' m sorry.
You couldn't tell me on the phone?
And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh, no!
Janice likes to have her fun!
You know what we haven't played in a while?
Hide the lamp.
Monica, let it go.
Did you know I' m allergic to shellfish?
Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
It's scary scientist man.
Okay, Phoebe, this is it.
In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts.
A briefcase of facts, if you will.
Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
Before you even start, I' m not denying evolution.
It's just one of the possibilities.
It's the only possibility.
Ross, could you just open your mind, like, this much?
Didn't the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat?
And up till 50 years ago, you thought the atom was the smallest thing. . .
. . .until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out.
Are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant. . .
. . .that you can't admit that there's a teeny, tiny possibility. . .
. . .that you could be wrong about this?
There might be. . .
. . .a teeny. . .
. . .tiny. . .
. . .possibility.
I can't believe you caved.
You just abandoned your whole belief system!
Before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you.
But. . . .
How are you gonna go into work tomorrow?
How are you going to face the other science guys?
How are you going to face yourself?
That was fun. So who's hungry?
I am.
Me too. Let me just get my coat.
What happened?
It was an accident, I swear.
I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke.
Oh, please, Monica! You've always hated my lamp!
And now all of a sudden, it's just magically, it's just broken?
Phoebe, tell her?
I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket.
But I want to believe you.
Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Neat.
I' m gonna die alone!
Okay, you win.
Chandler, you are not gonna die alone.
Janice was my safety net, okay?
And now I have to get a snake.
Why is that?
If I' m gonna be an old, lonely man, I' m gonna need a thing.
You know, a hook.
Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face.
So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake. "
Crazy Snake Man.
Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies.
Kids will run past my place!
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
You've got to get over this.
You won't end up alone.
Of course I will.
I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me. . .
. . .and then I bitch that there aren't any great women out there.
You have just described. . .
. . .virtually every man that we've ever gone out with.
You are not a freak. You' re a guy.
She's right.
You' re no different than the rest.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes, he is.
You are totally different.
In a bad way?
No, honey, in a wonderful way.
You know what you want now.
Most guys don't even have a clue.
You' re ready to take risks, be vulnerable and intimate with someone.
You' re not gonna end up alone.
You called Janice. That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
-You've made it! -You' re there!
You are ready to make a commitment!
Don't know about that!
What you got there?
Something else that's not yours that you can break?
I know you like this and I want you to have it.
It'll look good in our apartment.
Thank you.
That's fine.
You'll all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night.
This woman Allison from work. She is great.
She's pretty, she's smart. And I've been. . .
. . .holding off asking her out in the past, because she has a. . .
. . .unusually large head.
But I' m not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore.
Look at me. I' m growing.
You can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
I'll take that.
You want his yearbook?
Some people said nice things about him. Somebody should have it.
Gosh, this is so weird.
His whole life was in this apartment and now it's gone.
I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments for Mr. Heckles.
He was kind of a pain. He was, but he was a person.
You' re all going to hell.
It's really not that big!
-Taking that with you, huh? -Oh, yeah.
You coming?
In a second.
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
We'll try to keep it down.
My major was useless.
How often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"?
Sure.
My God, that's a big head!
It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting.
My head must look like a golf ball at work.
Don't get hung up on it. Quick! List five things you like about her.
Nice smile, good dresser.
Big head, big head, big head!
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Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2