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Subtitles for Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His.

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Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His

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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
Monica, which of all of this|kitchen stuff is mine?
This bottle opener.
- And...?|- And it's a magnet.
Look at that!
How weird is that?|You're moving in with me...
...and you have the one thing|I don't have.
It's like, in a way,|you complete me.
- Kitchen.|- What?
You complete me kitchen, matey!
I know what you're thinking.
That she'll move in with you, then|fall in love with you, and then...
...when she finds out you're already|married, she'll be happy.
You know? You're just very sad.
Oh, my God!
I see what this is.|You are in love with Rachel!
It all adds up! You're obsessed|with her. It's always:
"What will you do about Rachel?|Why are you moving in with Rachel?"
"When will you confess your secret|marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Saved by the bell.
Aren't these candlesticks mine?
No, I bought those.
Oh, right. I forgot.
That you're a liar!
That's great! I'll be there Monday.|And thank you again.
That was the head|of the paleontology department... N...
Wow. What...
...did he...
Remember that paper I had published|last year on sediment flow rate?
- They loved it.|- Well, who wouldn't?
I know!
Anyway, they asked me|to be a guest lecturer.
It's temporary, but if they like me,|it could lead to a full-time job.
How great would that look|on the mailbox? Professor Geller.
Professor and Mrs.
And Mrs.?
You and Ross are still married.
Just kidding!
Oh, God!
Saved your ass.
The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
English Subtitles by|Gelula/SDI
What's the matter?
You know that psychic I see?
She told me I'm gonna die this week,|so I'm bummed.
I know you don't know about readings,|but that's the worst you can get.
That's crazy.
She'd say that to you?
You don't believe her, do you?
I don't know. She said|that I'd have triplets...
...but she also said one of them|would be black.
Just out of curiosity,|did she say how you'd go?
She didn't tell me I'd die|till the end of the session.
I wasn't gonna waste|a whole other hour there!
I've only got a week left.
I've really gotta start living now!
Hey, everyone.
Well, today's my first lecture...
...and I wanted to try it out|on you guys. Do you mind?
No, that'd be great!
"There are three primary theories|concerning sediment flow rate."
"Each of these theories can be further|subcategorized into two..."
This is it.|This is what's gonna kill me.
"...subcategories. The first|of these subcategories is..."
Are there naked chicks|on that piece of paper?
No. Why?
I never seen a guy stare so hard at|something that didn't have chicks on it.
"There are three primary theories...
...concerning sediment flow rate."
"Each of these theories...
...can be further subcategorized...
Why don't you open with a joke?
Open with a joke?|It's a university, not a comedy club.
Wait a minute, hold the phone.
You're not talking|about Chuckles University?
Come on, we're kidding.
You know what might make it|less boring?
Thank you.
Some visual aids.
- You know what's a good visual aid?|- Don't say naked chicks.
Why not?
I don't even know why I talk|to you guys about it.
I'm just gonna do it on my own,|with no naked chicks.
That's the way I did it|till I was 19.
Any good mail?
Something from|the Screen Actors Guild.
It's probably a residual check.|Can you open it? I got...
"Benefits lapsed."
That's weird.
I don't remember being in a movie|called "Benefits Lapsed".
It's not a check. Your health|insurance expired because... didn't work enough last year.|- Let me see that.
Oh, I can't believe this!
This sucks!
When I had insurance,|I could get hit by a bus...
...or catch on fire, you know?
And it wouldn't matter.|Now I gotta be careful?
I'm sorry. There's never|a good time to have to...
...stop catching on fire.
All right, well...
...I guess I gotta go see my agent.
Make sure to look both ways|before you cross the street.
"Make sure to look both ways|before you cross the street."
Hey, you're still alive!
How are you feeling?
It's so exhausting, waiting for death.
Oh, by the way, do you think you...
What are you doing?
Preparing you for...|Didn't you think I was dead?
Did that not come off?
Yeah, scared the hell out of me.|I thought we'd lost you forever.
- You wanna lie down?|- Yeah, thanks.
Can you do me a favor?
Wake me up in a couple hours.
You know, if you can.
Did you take these back?
I liked them so much|that I bought some for myself.
They're really great, aren't they?
I love them.
Nice try.
How'd the lecture go?
It went great.
And I didn't need any jokes|or naked chicks either.
That's great. I'm sorry|we weren't supportive before.
I knew I just had to let|the material speak for itself.
Everyone's all, "Ross, you have|to be funny and sexy."
Well, I proved them wrong!
And now I'm gonna pass|the news on to Joey and Chandler.
- That you're not funny or sexy?|- That's right!
- Hey, Estelle, listen...|- Well, well, well.
Joey Tribbiani.
So you came back, huh?
They think they can do better,|but they all...
...come crawling back to Estelle.
What are you talking about?
I never left you.|You've always been my agent.
Oh, well, no harm no foul.
Look, you gotta get me some work.|I lost my health insurance.
All right, first thing we gotta do:|Damage control.
- Why?|- Well, I think...
...someone out there...
...may have been bad-mouthing you|all over town.
The bastard!
So Estelle lined up a bunch|of auditions for me tomorrow.
And I'll have my health insurance|back in no time.
That's great, but shouldn't you|be on the toilet right now?
What's wrong with you?
I got this blinding pain in my stomach|when I was lifting weights before.
And then I passed out...
...and I haven't been able|to stand up since.
But I don't think|it's anything serious.
This sounds like a hernia.|Go to the doctor.
No way.
If I go to the doctor, it'll be for|this thing sticking out of my stomach!
That's a hernia.
Why'd I have to start|working out again?
Damn you, 15s!
The lecture doesn't end|for 15 minutes.
- We can sneak in and watch.|- Good.
Oh, hey, look!|There's some Kappa Kappa Deltas.
I was a Kappa.
Hey, sisters!
Wow, we really are bitches.
Right. So when Rigby got his samples|back from the laboratory...
...he made a startling discovery.
What he believed to be igneous|was, in fact, sedimentary.
Imagine his consternation when...
Oh, bloody hell.
What the hell are you doing?
Look, I was nervous.
You guys had me all worried|I was gonna be boring.
I got up there and they were|all, like, staring at me.
I opened my mouth and this|British accent just came out.
Yeah, and not a very good one.
Will you, please...?
Dr. Geller? Kurt Rathman.
I'm a paleontology professor here.
Do you have a moment|to talk about your lecture?
I'm sorry, I've got plans|with my sister.
Monica Geller.
Right. Will you excuse us|for one moment?
- What are you doing?|- You can have an accent, but I can't?
Top of the morning to you, laddies!
Would you just please stop?
Yes, yes, Bombay is very, very nice|this time of year.
Hey, will you grab me a cruller?
Sit down!
Will you go to the hospital?
Hernia operations cost...
...a lot probably, okay?
Besides, it's getting darker and more|painful. That means it's healing.
Look, I'll loan you the money.
Just go to the hospital and|let's just get that thing...
...pushed back in.
Thank you, but it'd take me|forever to pay you back.
I don't want that|hanging over my head.
Besides, when my|insurance kicks in...
...I can get all the free|operations I want.
I'll probably start|with that laser eye surgery.
What's going on?
Joey's got a hernia, but it's nothing|a little laser eye surgery won't fix.
I'm telling you,|if I put my hand on my stomach... doesn't hurt that bad.
Hey, maybe you'll die!
Chandler, I'm scared.
No, we can go together.
Just don't wait too long, because I'm|out of here sometime before Friday.
But I don't want to die.
It'll be fun. We'll come back|and haunt these guys!
- Give me them!|- No, they are mine!
- You stole them from me!|- You stole them from me!
Give me them!
Just wanna each take one?
Yeah, that seems fair.|We never use them.
Look, I really need|some help, okay?
Why did I have to speak|in a British accent?
What do I do?
Why don't you phase it out?|Yeah, phase the accent out.
People will think you're|adjusting to life in America.
Come on.|No one will even notice.
They're probably not even|listening to you.
They're not listening to me?
Of course they're listening to you.
Everybody listens to you.
Monica, do you think I should|try this phasing-out thing?
I think you look fine.
Whenever you're ready.
Hey, Timmy.
I've got a surprise...
...for you.
Hold it.|I'm sorry.
The surprise is a new swing set.|If you could play it less intense.
Oh, yeah. Sure, no problem.
Just hold on one second.
Hey, Timmy.
I've got a surprise for you!
Oh, my God!
So that's why I feed my dog|Purina One.
Pick up a bag today.
- That's where you pick up the bag.|- Exactly.
The line is, "Pick up a bag",|so you need to pick up the bag.
Or I could just point to it.
Purina One. Point to a bag today.
I didn't get it, did I?
Joey Tribbiani.
I'm here to audition for "Man".
You mean "Dying Man".
- Do it one more time.|- Really? Really? Okay.
Hello, Ross? This is Dr. McNeely|from the Fake Accent University.
We'd like you|to come onboard full-time!
Listen to this!
My reading was wrong.|I'm not going to die.
Really? How do you know?
My psychic is dead!
She must have read|the cards wrong.
I'm sorry.
Better her than me.
Hey, let's bake cookies!
Listen, I'm really glad|you got the part.
Are you sure you can do this?
And thanks for coming with me.
And thanks again|for helping me take a shower.
Now, is that|"never talking about it again"?
We're ready for you.
This is Alex.|He'll be playing your son.
Hi, Alex.
As you can see, my hands|are not in my pants.
All right, Alex.|Now, when Joey says his line...
..."Take good care of your mama, son",|that's your cue to cry. Got it?
All right, let's do this.
Scene five, take one.
And action!
Take good care of your mama, son.
Take good care of your mama, son.
Come on, son.
Your mama's good people.
Alex, remember, you're|supposed to cry.
Can you cry for us this time?
All right. From the top.
Scene five, take two.
Take 36 is up.
Let's try this again.
You ready, Joe?
One thing, is it all right|if I scream...
...right up until|you say, "Action"?
- Action!|- Take good care of your mama, son.
I'm sorry. Why don't you lift up your|shirt? Take a look at this, kiddo.
We have a crying child!|Roll the damn cameras!
- Hello, is Ross there?|- No, he's not. Can I take a message?
{y:i}Yes, this is Russell,|{y:i}Ross' divorce lawyer.
Since I haven't heard from him, I|assume he's giving the marriage a try.
Ross got married again?
{y:i}All right, keep going.|{y:i}We are phasing the accent out.
{y:i}Phasing it out.
"So without retesting their results|in the laboratory...
...the team would never|have identified...
...the initial errors|in their carbon dating...
Were there any questions|at this point?
What's happening to your accent?
Come again? What's this nonsense?
All right. I'm not English.
I'm from Long Island.
I was really nervous,|and the accent...
...just came out.
I'm sorry.
So if we could just|get back to the lecture.
Were there any questions?
About paleontology?
I was just trying to make|a good first impression.
Obviously, I screwed up. But what|you guys think of me is important...
...because I'm hoping to get|a permanent job here.
So if you'd just give me another|chance to make a good impression...
Ross! Are you crazy?
I am still your wife?|Were you just never gonna tell me?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I could just kill you!
Well, hello, Rachel!
You've really done this before?
You just take a big, big swing, okay?
Now, don't hold back.
What are you doing?
We're just celebrating that Joey|got his health insurance back.
Oh, all right.
Face 2004
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Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2