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Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage

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FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone.
Tomorrow, you'll make a delivery to Ebola Nine, the virus planet.
-Why can't they go today? -Tonight's special.
I want you all to be alive.
It's the Academy of Inventors annual symposium.
-Wow! I love symposia! -The scientific event of the season.
Every member presents an invention. The best one wins the Academy prize.
-Sounds boring. -Oh, my, yes. But not this year. . .
. . .because my latest invention is unbeatable.
Behold, the Death Clock.
Jam your finger in the hole. This readout. . .
. . .tells you how long you have to live.
-Does it really work? -Sometimes it's off by seconds. . .
-. . .what with free will and all. -Cool. How long do I have to live?
Dibs on his CD player!
A Big Piece of Garbage
FARNSWORTH: Oh, my, yes.
-Who's the nerd? -That's me at the first symposium.
I'm the Academy's oldest living member.
-These youngsters look up to me. -Well, well, well.
Look who's showing his wrinkled face.
-Just leave me alone, Wernstrom. -You're over the hill, Farnsworth.
Leave science to the 1 20-year-olds.
You think you know everything.
I invented things when you were barely turning senile.
Go home before you embarrass yourself, old man.
Now excuse me. I'm taking a nap before the ceremonies.
Who's that jerk?
He was my most promising student 1 00 years ago, at Mars University.
But then, after one fateful pop quiz. . . .
A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.
I swear I'll have my revenge if it takes me 1 00 years.
And here it is, slightly over 99 years later and still no revenge.
I'm essentially in the clear.
I've been perusing your fortified wine list. . .
. . .and I've selected the '71 Hobo's Delight. . .
. . .the '57 Chateau Par-Tay, and the '66 Thunder Chevitz.
Exquisite choices, sir.
And mix them all together in a big jug.
Welcome to this year's symposium. I'm your host, Ron Popeil. . .
. . .inventor of Mr. Microphone, the Spray-on Toupee. . .
. . .and the technology to keep heads alive in jars.
Wait, there's more. We've got many inventors tonight. . .
. . .starting with that up-and-coming young star, Ogden Wernstrom.
-Boo! -More wine!
Distinguished members of the Academy, I present the Reverse Scuba Suit.
Observe.
Fetch!
Now, sit.
I said sit! Bad fish!
[APPLAUSE]
Don't worry. It's no competition for your Death Clock.
What will you be presenting, grandpa?
It'll put you young whippersnappers in your place.
I hope it's not as lame as last year's Death Clock.
-Last year? -That's right.
Oh, my.
-Did it put you youngsters in place? -Hardly.
We laughed until our teeth fell out. Come along, Cinnamon.
I have to invent something new in the next 1 0 minutes.
Perhaps some sort of Death Clock!
Uh, professor?
[PROPELLER ENGINES WHIRLING]
-Very nice. -Amazing!
Our last presentation comes from our oldest member, Hubert Farnsworth.
Professor?
Just a second. Just a second.
Pencils down, prune-face.
Here I am. Now, hello there.
We all know telescopes allow us to see distant objects. . .
. . .but what if we want to smell those objects? Well, now we can.
Thanks to my new invention. . .
. . .the Smell-O-Scope.
The odor travels past this coffee stain here. Around the olive pit. . .
. . .and into this cigar burn.
And this appears to be a. . .
. . .doodle of myself as a cowboy.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
But the Smell-O-Scope is brilliant!
Think of the astronomical odors you'll smell, thanks to me!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Oh, my.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
I've waited 1 00 years for this.
I give your invention the worst grade imaginable:
An A-minus-minus!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Now for the presentation of the award. I'm practically giving this away to. . .
. . .Dr. Wernstrom, for his fish thingy.
[FARNSWORTH SNIFFS]
Perhaps 1 49 is just too old to be a scientist.
-Yep. -No, professor! Don't give up!
There were many times in my century when I never gave up.
Never.
Are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up.
By God, you're right! I'm going to build that Smell-O-Scope!
FARNSWORTH: Eureka!
FRY: Did you build it?
No, I remembered that I built one last year!
Go ahead, try it.
You'll find that every heavenly body has its own scent.
Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.
[FRY SNIFFS]
-Smells like strawberries. -Exactly.
And now, Saturn.
Pine needles. Man, this is great!
As long as you don't make me smell Uranus.
-I don't get it. -I'm sorry, Fry.
Astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
-What's it called now? -Urectum.
Here, let me locate it for you.
No, I think I'll just smell around over here.
[FRY SNIFFS]
[FRY GAGS]
What is it?
Oh, jeez! Oh, man!
Remarkable! A stench so foul it's right off the funkometer!
Fry may have discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!
Oh! Name it after me!
I think it's moving.
Perhaps the computer can calculate its trajectory.
My God! It's headed straight for us!
With enough force to reduce this city to a stinky crater!
We have less than 72 hours.
Well, let's get looting.
[BENDER WHISTLES]
This thing will destroy the whole city?
What the heck is it?
Just as I thought!
The answer lies in this movie I found on the Internet.
NARRATOR: New York City. The year 2000.
The most wasteful society in history...
... was running out of places to bury its never-ending output of garbage.
The landfills were full. New Jersey was full.
Under cover of darkness, the city put its garbage out to sea...
...on the world's largest barge.
[MAN WHISTLES]
The repulsive barge circled the oceans for 50 years...
...but no country would accept it. Not even that really filthy one.
You know the one I mean.
Finally, in 2052, the city used its mob connections to obtain a rocket...
...and launch the garbage into outer space.
Some experts claim the ball may return to Earth.
But their concerns were dismissed as "depressing. "
You got that off the Internet? In my day it was only used to download porn.
Actually, that's still true.
Now that the garbage is in space...
...perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions.
With gusto.
Aw!
That's it. Due to the short-sightedness of Old New York. . .
. . .New New York will be destroyed by a ball of garbage.
What the hell were you people thinking then?
-How could you throw your garbage out? -Give me a break.
-What do you do with it? -We recycle.
-Robots are made from old beer cans. -And this can's made from old robots.
That sandwich is made of discarded sandwiches.
-Nothing just gets thrown away. -The future is disgusting.
Typical 20th-century attitude.
You've no right to criticize my century.
We invented the light bulb, steamboat and cotton gin.
-Those are from the 1 9th century. -They probably just copied us.
Please! There's no time for this now! This is an emergency!
We must warn the mayor!
Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious.
Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.
I hope this isn't a fraud like global warming or second-hand smoke.
Send in my science adviser.
-Wernstrom! -Well, well, well.
Come to present your latest napkin?
I'm here because a giant trash ball is heading straight for us.
Smell for yourself.
Hey! Holy jeez!
That smell could be anything. . .
. . .a faulty stench coil, cheese on the lens, who knows?
We just got this transmission from Neptune!
RECORDED VOICE: Giant garbage ball...
...passed close by.
Horrible stench!
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
The transmission ends there, sir.
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
No, I guess it keeps going.
[RECORDED VOICE GAGS AND STOPS]
-There we go. -My God!
The senile old man is right!
-Do you mean him or me? -Him!
Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?
Thanks, human female.
Puny earthlings were shocked to learn that garbage...
... will destroy their pathetic city.
-I'm glad we live here in Los Angeles. -Morbo agrees.
[NEWSCASTERS LAUGH]
-Can't we shoot a missile at it? -The supercomputer's simulation. . .
. . .shows that the ball is too gooey. Missiles would go through it.
But suppose we sent a crew to plant an explosive on the fault line. . .
. . .between this mass of coffee grounds and this deposit of AOL floppy disks?
In theory, it could work.
But you'll never find a crew willing to go on such a suicidal mission.
Oh, crap!
FARNSWORTH: You only have one chance to destroy the ball.
After that, it'll be so close that blowing it up. . .
. . .would cause garbage to rain on the entire planet. . .
-. . .killing billions. -Boo-hoo.
Here's the bomb I've prepared.
Once activated, you have 25 minutes to get away.
-That's all--? -Now, now.
We'll discuss your objections when and if you return.
Odor at magnitude eight.
[CREW GAGS]
Magnitude 1 2.
Magnitude 31 !
We're breaking up!
Turn on the anti-smell device!
[DEVICE HISSES]
FRY: Sporty.
-Wow! LEELA: Look at all this filth.
FRY: It's not filth.
It's a monument to 20th-century achievements.
Look! A real Beanie Baby!
A Mr. Spock collector's plate!
[PLATE BREAKS]
Some Bart Simpson dolls!
BART DOLL: Eat my shorts. -Okay!
Mmm, shorts!
This was garbage when it was new. Let's blow it up already.
This junk isn't garbage! I can dig anywhere. . .
. . .and find something great.
[FRY CHOKES]
All right, let's get to work.
Let's see.
If that's Hypodermic Ridge, then the bomb goes right here.
Get ready. We've got 25 minutes.
"Fifteen minutes. "
"Five minutes. Six-H minutes"?
There's your problem. The professor put the counter on upside down.
That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes, it was set for 52 seconds.
[FRY SCREAMS]
-We're gonna die! Right? -Right.
It's gonna blow!
Hey! You'll put somebody's eye out!
Okay, keep your space pants on. I'll take care of this.
[EVERYONE SIGHS]
-We're saved. -Yeah, but the ball's unstoppable now.
New New York is done for.
[SCRATCHING SOUND]
All in all, this is one day Mittens the Kitten won 't soon forget.
Kittens give Morbo gas.
In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed.
Blame rests with human Hubert Farnsworth...
...and his tiny inferior brain.
Oh! How could I have put that timer on upside down?
I swear I followed the manual precisely.
I'm a dried-up husk of a scientist. This is all my fault.
No, it's my fault too.
I'm sure I threw out more than my share of trash.
And when my toilet broke, I just went straight in the garbage can.
Leela's right. The people of the 20th century were idiotic slobs.
-Especially me. -Enough! You failed miserably.
Time to put a real scientist in charge.
-Wernstrom! -The very same.
-Wernstrom, can you save my city? -Yes, but it'll cost you.
-First, I need tenure. -Done.
-A research grant. -You got it.
Lab access and five grad students, at least three Chinese.
Done. What's your plan?
What plan? I'm set for life.
Au revoir, suckers.
-That rat! Do something! -I would, but he's got tenure.
[PEOPLE GAG]
It's time to take action.
Stephanie, cancel the maid. Have her come tomorrow.
Well, I'm out of ideas. Anyone?
Wait!
If we could build an object of the same size, density and consistency. . .
. . .it might knock the ball away without smashing it to bits.
Where can we find a substance the same density and consistency?
Alas, I don't know.
What about garbage?
Good Lord! A second ball of garbage! That just might work!
You can't just find garbage in the streets.
City's been garbage-free for 500 years!
-Then it's time to make some more. -Make garbage?
-But how? -Stand back and watch the master.
This Slurm can?
Now it's garbage. These papers?
Garbage. This picture of your wife?
Pure garbage. Now you try it.
By God, I think the boy's got something!
Come on, the fate of the city is at stake!
Good.
Don't finish that. Throw it away. Drink that beer and drop the bottle.
Very nice.
Get that robot some more beer!
Trashing this room's a start. Let's get Fry's message to the people!
People of New New York, take a lesson from the 20th century.
Stop this recycling and throw your garbage on the floor.
Go on, chuck it anywhere like I did. Your city is counting on you.
If my calculations are correct, this ball will knock the other. . .
. . .directly into the sun!
If mine are correct, we're all going to die horribly!
Places, everyone! Prepare for launch!
Five, four, three, two. . .
. . .three, four, five, six. . . .
Just fire the damn thing.
FRY: Oops.
[HEART BEATING FAST]
[HEART BEATS ONCE]
[FAST DRUM BEAT]
[SNIFFS]
-Burning garbage! -It worked!
And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you, Professor Farnsworth.
I present you with the Academy prize, which we confiscated. . .
. . .from Wernstrom after we realized he was a jackass.
In your face, Wernstrom!
I'll get you, Farnsworth, even if it takes another 1 00 years!
And Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well.
Without your garbage-making skills. . .
. . .we'd all be buried under 20th-century garbage.
Should we be celebrating?
What if it returns to Earth like the first one?
Who cares? That would take centuries.
Exactly. It's none of our concern.
That's the 20th-century spirit!
[CROWD CHEERS]
Face 2004
Facing Window 2003
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Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2