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Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom

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A Taste of Freedom
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
There's no denying it. The future's crazy.
Oh, well, don't want to stand out.
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
There's nothing crazy about it. It's just Freedom Day!
[SQUAWKS]
[WHIMPERING]
So, what is Freedom Day? Sounds like a feminine hygiene product.
No, it's a fabulous, crab-ulous day!
If you want to do something, you do it, and just spleck with the consequences.
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
You know, like how I live every day.
Happy Freedom Day! Oh, I think my wrist is broken.
Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day without the traditional Freedom Tub!
Ooh.
Mm. That'll feel nice on my shattered bones.
[GASPS]
Wow, nude hot-tubbing?
That's all I need to hear about Freedom Day.
Then consider the following lecture a bonus.
On Earth, freedom is a given. But on my planet, we have to suffer for it.
Sure, you can be a comedian instead of a doctor. . .
. . .if you want your parents to roll over in their graves!
Sure, you can vote for Skanadel, if you want there should be a recession!
Sure, you can go to medical school. . .
. . .if you've given up on your dream of being a comedian!
That's why I love Earth.
You can do what you want, and no one makes you feel guilty. . .
. . .because no one cares.
-We're not listening! -That's what I'm talking about!
[CHEERING]
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy! Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!
Excuse me, coming through. Freedom train arriving on track one. Ooh, ooh!
-Ow! You broke my foot! -Freedom.
What's this next float, Linda?
Representing our men, women and children in uniform. . .
. . .it's Earth's greatest space hero, Zapp Brannigan.
Happy Freedom Day, ladies!
Come on, let loose and show me something.
Anything.
Seriously, I'd take an armpit.
Oh, yeah, thank you, Linda!
You're welcome! Okay, Morbo, now it's your turn.
If that is your Freedom Day wish. . . .
[SCREAMS]
Thank you, secretary of transportation.
My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom, it's almost sickening.
We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in.
If we don't want to pay our taxes. . .
. . .why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster.
See you April 1 5, folks!
Cue the fireworks guy!
[GASPING]
Incidentally, tonight's Freedom Day celebration is brought to you by:
Shankman's Rubbing Compound.
When something needs rubbing, think Shankman.
Yay, Shankman!
It costs more, but it's worth it.
Our planet has been through so much this past year.
Wars, droughts, impeachments.
But we've never lost our sense of what's truly important:
The great taste of Charleston Chew.
And now, let us salute that beloved symbol of freedom. . .
. . .our flag, Ol' Freebie.
I'm swelling with patriotic mucus.
In our darkest hour, we can stand erect with proud, up-thrust bosoms.
Anyone who laughs is a Communist.
Knowing that, with a shifty glance skyward. . .
. . .we will see by the rocket's red glare, that our flag is still there.
It's gone!
[BURPS]
[GASPING]
Yes, fellow patriots! I ate your flag!
And I did it with pride.
For to express oneself by doing a thing, is the very essence of Freedom Day!
Bless this planet and all its wonderful people!
Kill him! Kill the traitor!
[SQUEALS]
[ZOIDBERG MIMICKING THE THREE STOOGES]
Hey! It's the guy that desecrated our flag!
NIXON: Stop that red menace!
I'm all scuttled out! What?
My planet's embassy?
They're paid to not kill me! Alley-oop!
I thought I understood this world. I thought I was fitting in.
But I guess I don't belong here any more than I do on our crappy home planet.
-Sorry. -What sorry?
Our planet stinks. We all know it.
Enough with the persecution, I'm saying.
Zoidberg, as ambassador, I promise you the full support of our government.
Poor boy. You want maybe a nice mug cocoa?
Ambassador Mervin, you and your staff are so kind.
I'm truly humbled.
What, no marshmallows?
Well, let's storm the place! Without my prior knowledge.
BENDER: Coming through! Freedom Train! Step aside.
You, too, fatso. Freedom!
Cool your jowls, Nixon.
You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag.
You may even find the image of it festering in his bowels offensive.
But the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.
Argh-ooh. Maybe so.
But I know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat!
The Supreme Court hereby accepts the case of Earth v. Zoidberg.
Sock it to him!
Two, four, six, eight. Eating the flag is bad!
Now, your noose knot has exactly seven twists.
You can eat my dog You can eat my truck
But you eat my flag And you're out of luck
She's waving proud around the world From Dallas to Fort Worth
Let me say it again Don 't mess with Earth
-They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg. -Posers!
I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.
Where are we gonna find a lawyer to take his case?
I'll ask the head of the ACLU. Once he's done singing.
Don 't mess with Earth
Kill Zoidberg! Good night!
MAN: Howdy, there.
I'm a lawyer, and I'd like to help your friend out of this pickle.
-Who are you, old man? -Name's Old Man Waterfall. . .
. . .but most folks just call me Old Man.
I'll never remember that.
I'm a veteran of three dozen wars.
Name a body part and a planet, and I've taken a bullet in it, on it.
All to keep our flag flying free.
And you want to defend Zoidberg?
Are you familiar with the old robot saying, "Does not compute"?
Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can with sparks coming out it.
The sparks keep me warm.
I don't condone what Dr. Zoidberg did. . .
. . .but I'll fight tooth and nail for his freedom to do it.
Or I would, if I hadn't lost my teeth and nails on Mars and Saturn, respectively.
Wait, you're a lawyer? You're hired!
You okay there in the embassy, Zoidberg?
No! There's no cocoa marshmallows!
And every night, the rats eat a little more of my foot.
Oyez, oyez, oyez!
All rise for the Honorable Chief Justice Myrtle Foo and the associate justices!
Counsel, you may address the court on behalf of Earth, if ready.
I was hatched ready.
Honorable judge heads, yonder crawdad done ate up our flag.
I was doing freedom of speech, Earth's most sacred right.
Your Honor, freedom of speech applies to what comes out of a mouth. . .
. . .not what goes in.
-Can counsel cite precedent? -Yes, darling, I can.
In State of Alabama v. Giant Space lguana...
. . .chewing the corners off the Constitution. . .
. . .was deemed nonprotected speech.
He shut you up, O'Connor.
FOO: Mr. Waterfall, you may present arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg.
Oh, God, I'm nervous.
Two of my three hearts are having attacks.
Court's kind of fun when it's not my ass on the line.
Nachos?
Oh, land-o-Goshen.
Your Honors, I'm not some slick big-city lawyer like my opponent here.
But I am a veteran who has fought for his planet.
-You see this hand of mine? -Yes, I do.
No, you don't!
Because I lost my real hand planting the flag when we took back Halley's comet.
Yet it was worth it. So much do I love that flag.
I love it even more than I love my seven wives.
That's right, I'm a polygamist.
Boo!
Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself. . .
. . .had I not used my intestine as a rope to hoist a flag made of my own skin. . .
. . .if it would protect the freedoms of the proud people who salute that flag.
Freedom such as polygamy.
-Boo! -I rest my case.
Whoa, jeez.
The justices and I will now confer, using high-speed telepathy.
By a vote of six to three. . .
. . .we find that flag-eating is not protected by the Constitution.
[GASPING]
Six to three? I beat the spread!
The court orders an immediate public apology.
Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again.
-She means you, you turkey of the sea. -Me, apologize? Never!
I came to this planet to learn the meaning of freedom!
But I say it's you who should get a nice lesson.
So do your worst. . .
. . .because no punishment could be bigger than denying me my freedom!
You are hereby sentenced to death.
Wait, let me finish.
Also, in a rare double-whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional.
Boo!
I can't wait to tell my husband!
Boo!
Remember, men, take him alive so there's something left to kill.
[MEN GRUNTING]
Stay back!
This embassy is sovereign mud of the mud planet Decapodian!
Invading these mud premises is an act of war!
Yeah? Well, what are you gonna do about it, shrimpy?
You wanna see, Mr. Bigshot?
Attack Earth!
Yes, I know it's a schlep. Just do it!
Aha! Now the rubber band's on the other claw!
[SCREAMING]
Ready? Retreat!
[SCREAMING]
Deny my freedom, will you?
Well, we'll do to you what we did to the Squash men of the Squash planet:
Squished them!
-Charleston Chew? -You bet!
All right, Kif. Let's show these freaks. . .
. . .what a bloated, runaway military budget can do.
Bring me the codes for our global-defense network.
Aye, aye, sir.
[GRUNTING]
FEMALE VOICE: Commence lip identification scan.
No tongue.
We can't be too careful with these codes.
Rumor has it a double agent may be aboard this very ship.
I'm watching you.
-You, ensign, what's your name? -Hugh Man, sir!
Hugh Man. Now, that's a name I can trust.
Run down to the central battle computer and enter these codes.
KIF: Sir, there's something about that ensign that's--
You're damn right there is. That young lad's gunning for your job.
And he just might get it.
The enemy approacheth.
Lieutenant, fire missile one and recommend me for another medal.
Make it gaudy. I'm going clubbing later.
Ticktock.
Sir, all planetary defenses have been disabled.
Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret codes somehow.
Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame.
Steady, steady. . . .
Now!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom, and then enslave all of Earth?
Your planet doesn't deserve freedom. . .
. . .until it learns what it is to not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!
Ow!
What the hell is this dirt pile we're building?
None of your beeswax, slave. You'll find out soon enough.
Just focus on globbing that mud.
Glob!
I'm no good at being a slave.
I'm thinking about graduate school to become a barber.
This can't go on. Today is the day we fight back!
-It's already 1 0:00. -Oh, you're right.
Tomorrow is the day we fight back.
Yeah, well, good luck, sister.
All our modern technology is useless.
I know I am.
[SNORING]
Hey, wait. I'm having one of those things.
-You know, a headache with pictures. -An idea?
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
Back in my day, we didn't have your fancy all-digital weapons.
We still managed to kill each other just fine.
The crossbow. A pitiless, elegant killing machine.
The Bender of the 1 5th century!
Not big enough. We need something that can take out an entire army.
Something you could commit a war crime with--
Wow!
Ow.
Earth slaves, behold the fruit of your labors:
The mobile oppression palace!
Neat!
I don't need to tell you that occupation forces are expensive.
But with the mobile oppression palace. . .
. . .a few dignitaries can oppress your entire planet for pennies a day!
Warships, dismissed!
Do your worst, you sea devils!
I'll make my stand with Ol' Freebie!
You can crush me, but you can't crush my spirit!
Oh, my spirit!
[GROANING]
Great-grandpa, no!
Another victim of the mano-centric male-ocracy.
Ambassador Mervin, you killed my lawyer!
You're welcome.
He defended my freedom when no one else would.
-He was a good and honorable man. -I request a satanic funeral.
Boo!
Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression. . .
-. . .is schmutzing up our freedom lesson? -Take a pill, Zoidberg.
Begin again with the crushing!
You haven't won yet, Mervin!
You didn't expect us to even go to a museum. . .
. . .much less steal this ancient heat-seeking missile!
I don't even know you.
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, it's gonna make such a mess!
[SIGHING]
This is your secret plan?
Heat-seeking missiles are useless against a mobile oppression palace.
All Decapodian technology is cold-blooded, like us!
All eyes on Zoidberg!
Ew.
Hey, I need that to smoke!
Zoidberg, how could you? I used to think you were cool.
Wait, people of Earth, listen!
Yes, I'm desecrating a flag, but to preserve the freedom it represents.
[YELLS]
[MISSILE BEEPING]
Zoidberg, you set us free!
I feel like I could stand to hug you!
I can't, but you know what I'm trying to say.
Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!
If only they appreciated freedom this much on my home planet.
Wait a second. They do!
Because this is my home planet!
NIXON: And now, to raise this beautiful new flag. . .
. . .a red lobster that won't ruin your dinner, Dr. John Zoidberg!
You're a nice man, Nixon.
How's about you take a bite of the flag for tomorrow's papers?
-Oh, I couldn't. -No, no, go ahead. You've earned it.
Well, maybe just a taste.
Now, that's a grand old flag!
All right, Zoidberg!
I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.
WOMAN: All right!
Freedom!
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Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2