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Galaxy Quest

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- Exiting the time knot now, sir.|- We're alive !
We made it, Commander.|We made it.
By Grabthar's hammer,|we live to tell the tale.
Systems registering functional.
All systems are|working, Commander.
I don't like it.|It was too easy.
- Wait ! Oh, no.|They're everywhere !
- There are time knots|opening everywhere !|- A trap !
We're surrounded,|Commander.
- Aah !|- Ooh !
It's a core meltdown, sir.|It can't be stopped.
Surrender may be|our only option.
No ! Never give up !
Never surrender !
Your orders, sir ?
Sir ?|Group orders ?
Activate the Omega 13.
- Well ?
Huh ?|Well, there you are.
- Yeah ! Huh ?
Yeah ! Yeah, that's|what I'm talking about.
You are the first people|to see the lost Galaxy Quest--
episode 92|two-parter--
since it was originally aired|in 1982 !
- Huh ? Yeah ! All right.
And now, the moment you've|all been waiting for--
the intrepid crew|of the N.S.E.A. Protector !
- Yeah ! Yeah !
[ Man ]|Red scarf, black shoes. Wait.
White scarf, black buttons,|white shoes.
Man, where in the hell is he ?|An hour and a half late ?
- An hour and a half.|- I mean, this is unreal.
They're gonna start|eating each other out there.
Oh, did you hear ? He booked|another appearance without us.
You're kidding.
Oh. Uh--|Um--
- How did I come to this ?|- Not again.
- I played Richard the Third.|- Five curtain calls.
There were five curtain calls.|I was an actor once, damn it !|Now look at me. Look at me !
I cannot go out there,|and I won't say...
that stupid line|one more time !
- I can't, I won't.|- Well, Alex, at least you had a part.
Okay ? You had|a character people loved.
I mean, my TV Guide interview|was six paragraphs...
about my boobs and how they|fit into my suit.
No one even bothered to ask me|what I do on the show.
You had the-- Wait.|Wait, I'll think of it.
- I repeated the computer, Fred.|- Whew !
Your commander is on deck !|Ha, ha !
Wow, that smog|is thick today, huh ?
- Am I too late for|Alexander's panic attack ?
Apparently not. You know,|you should get that looked at.
Yeah.
Let's take a look at a few more clips.
Okay.|What did I do ? Hmm ?
We want the crew !|- What ?
- We want the crew !|- For those four seasons,|we developed the same affection...
for the crew as the crew|had for each other.
These weren't just adventurers|exploring space.
- Friends.|- These were friends.
- Unbelievable.|- You are so full of it, man !
It's not a big deal ! These guys|put a little set in their basement.
I'm there about an hour.|It's nothing, Gwen.
They wanted|the Commander.
- There he goes.|- Alexander, wait a minute.|Grab him ! Grab him !
- We want the crew ! We want the crew !|- Okay !
Yeah !|Here we go !
Come on, old friend.|Old friend.
You stole all my best lines.|You cut me out of episode two entirely.
- Excuse me.|- Tawny Madison--|my personal favorite--
- Gwen DeMarco !
Yeah !
Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about !|Let's hear a warm welcome...
for crack gunner Laredo--|Tommy Webber !
- You will go out there !|- I won't,
and nothing you say|will make me.
- The show must go on.|- Freddie Kwan !
- Damn you.
Damn you. I won't say|that stupid line one more time.
Tev'Meck--|Alexander Dane !
Yeah !|All right !
By Grabthar's hammer,|you shall be avenged !
Yeah !|All right !
That guy can act.|And finally,
my-- my fellow|Questerians,
the brave Commander|of the N.S.E.A. Protector,
Peter, Peter, Peter,|Peter, Peter,
Quincy, Quincy, Quincy, Quincy,|Taggart, Taggart, Taggart Taggart--
- Jason Nesmith ! Yes !
We love you, Commander !
- Never give up, never--|Never surrender !
Damn the resonance cannons,|full speed ahead ! Huh ?
The Commander and his crew|will be signing autographs...
on lmperial decks "C" and "B"|near the Coke machines.
Whoo ! Quest forever, man !
Excuse me, pardon me.|Crew member coming through.
- Fans, right ? Hey, Gwen.|- Oh, hey, man.
I want to thank you for that|nice intro you gave us today.
- Um--|- Guy.
You probably don't remember me,|do you ? It's the sunglasses, right ?
I was on the show in '82,|episode 81.
Got killed by a lava monster|before the first commercial. Aaah !
Listen, uh-- Maybe I could sit in|and, uh, sign a couple autographs ?
By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons|of Warvan, I shall avenge you !
- By Grabthar's--|- Next.
Had I moved an inch to the left,|the beast would have killed me.
- On the other hand,|my crew was in danger.|- How did you know what to do ?
Come on ! Without my crew,|I'm not a commander, huh ?
I think we all remember what happened|to that beast on Enok Seven, right ?
You've gotta admit,|they really do love him.
Yeah, almost as much|as he loves himself.
Excuse me, Commander.|Hey !
I was wondering if you|could help settle a dispute|my crew and I seem to be having.
Um, if you remember, uh,|in "Quasar Dilemma--"
Excuse me|for a minute, fellas.
I hadn't even gotten|to the relevant conundrum.
In episode 15,|"Mist of Delos Five,"
I got the feeling that you and|the Commander kind of had a thing.
- Did you ?|- No.
The Commander and I|never had a thing.
Well that's|her story.
Excuse me.
Gwen. Gwen.
Gwen.
- Commander.|- Excuse me.
I must speak to you.|It is a matter of supreme importance.
We are Thermians|from the Klatu Nebula...
and we... need your help.
Oh, oh, oh.
Is this about|that gig tomorrow ?
Just hammer out the details|with my agent, and make sure|there's a limo at my house.
Last time I did one of these gigs,|they shoved me in the back of a Toyota.
Remember,|mum's the word.
- Certainly, but um--|- Mum.
- Mum. Mum.|- Mum.|- Mum.
Look here.|And... beautiful.
Crewman Madison.|The mist of this strange planet...
is filling my head|with such thoughts.
It was cute when I|didn't know you.
You--
What a freak show, man.|Oh, this is hilarious.
Bunch of losers ! Beggin'|for autographs at 15 bucks a pop.
- These guys haven't had|a real acting job for 20 years.
- This is all they've got.|- Did you check out Nesmith ?
He actually gets off on those retards|thinking he's a space commander !
- Yeah ! Oh, and his friends ?|- I know !
They can't stand him ! Did you|hear them ragging on him in there ?
Dude, he has no idea he's|a laughingstock, even to his buddies.
- He's pathetic !|- Ooh, come on, come on.
The Galaxy Quest Dancers|are almost on.
Whoo ! Full speed ahead,|Lieutenant.
Hey, Commander,|uh, so, as I was saying,
in "The Quasar Dilemma," remember,|you used the auxiliary of deck B--
could you get this--|deck B for gamma override.
The thing is is that|online blueprints clearly indicate...
that deck B is independent|of the guidance matrix.
So, we were wondering|just where the error lies in that.
It's just a television show.|That's all, okay ?
Right, but--
'Cause we were wondering if the quantum|flux-- Now, just listen on this--
There is no|quantum flux !
There's no auxiliary.|There's no goddamn ship !
You got it ?
I mean it.|I mean it, Alex.
I've never seen him lose it like that.|Not to a fan.
I mean, it was|just weird.
Gwen, I have|said it for years.
He's mentally unstable.
l-- I'm worried.
It just was not|like him.
As long as there|is injustice,
whenever a Targathian baby|cries out,
- wherever a distress signal|sounds among the stars,
-we'll be there-- this fine|ship, this fine crew.|-This fine ship, this fine crew.
- Never give up and never surrender.|- Never give up.
Never surrender.
- Can I help you ?|- Sir, I understand this is|a terrible breach in protocol--
- You guys shouldn't come|to my house, man.|- I beg you to hear our plea.
We are Thermians|from the Klatu Nebula.
Our people are being systematically|hunted and slaughtered...
by Roth'h'ar Sarris|of Fatu-Krey.
We are to meet in negotiation.|However, our efforts in this|regard have been disastrous.
Please, Commander.|You are our last hope.
- We have secured our limousine.|- What ?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Um, it's the thing|for the thing that's, um--
Maybe I should get some pants on.
Come on in.
- Commander,
I must say that standing here|in your presence...
is the greatest honor we could have|ever hoped to achieve in our lifetimes.
That's-- I really|appreciate that.
Would you guys look for another shoe|that looks like this, please ?
Sir, I am Lahnk,|senior requisition officer.
Before we travel to the ship, please let|me know if you have any requirements.
- Weapons, documents, personnel ?|- Um, a Coca-Cola ?|Do you have one of those ?
- Sir, I am Teb.
I would like to explain|the history between our people...
- and the Sarris Dominion|in greater detail.|- Hey, how ya doin' ?
In the five million years|following the Great Nebula Burst,
- our people were one p--|- What's your name ?
- Doesn't she talk ?|- Her translator is broken.
- Okeydokey.
You know, guys, I had a late night|with a Kreemorian Fangor beast,
so I'm gonna just|shut my eyes for a bit.
Go on. You know. I'm listening|to everything you say, okay ?
In the five million years|following the Great Nebula Burst,
our people|were one people.
But then came the Zactor Migration,|and then the Melosian Shift,
dark period of discontent|once spread through the land.
Fighting among Treeb sects|and Largoths-- ah, the foolishness.
And it was in this time|of dissension that Sarris--
- Commander. Commander.|- Hmm.
I'm sorry to wake you, sir,|but your presence is requested|on the command deck.
- Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline.
We are approaching his ship|at the Ni-delta now.
He wants an answer|to his proposal.
Yeah, I got most of it in the car.|Sarris is the bad guy, right ?
Oh, yes, sir.|He's a very bad man indeed.
He has tortured our scientists, put us|to work in the gallium arsenide mines,
- Mm-hmm.|- captured our females|for his own demented purposes--
Yeah, yeah, I got the picture.|Do you have pages or do you|just want me to wing this ?
- I am not sure I understand you.|- Commander.
- Welcome to the Protector Two.|- Good to see ya.
- Would you like to don your uniform ?|- I'd like to skip that.
I got this gig in Van Nuys in about a|quarter of an hour. Is that all right ?
- As you wish.|- Sir, it's Sarris.
He's here.
General, I just received word|the Thermians have appointed|a new commander...
to handle|the negotiations.
What ?
This is great. You know, usually|it's just cardboard walls in a garage.
- Sir, we apologize|for operating in low-power mode,|- Oh. Oooh.
but we are experiencing|a reflective flex field|this close to the galactic axis.
You know what I could use ?|A cup holder and a couple of Advil.
We're approaching in five ticks, sir.|Command to slow ?
Set it on screen saver two.
Because we, you know-- We gotta--
Oh, I'm sorry|to break the mood here.
Um, slow it down|to mark two, Lieutenant.
I see fear.
- That is expected.|- Mm-hmm.
- Ahh, they bring a new commander.|- It's good.
- Here are my demands.|- It's scary.|I mean, you know, he looks...
- And if I do not hear what I like,|- real.
then there will be blood...
and pain|as you cannot imagine !
- First, I require...|- Backwash.
the Omega 13.
Second, I will require|a technician--
Okeydokey. Let's fire blue particle|cannons full. Red particle cannons full.
Gannet magnets,|fire them left and right.
And let 'em run all chutes.|And while you're at it,
why don't you toss that|at 'em, killer ?
That should take care of|old lobster head, shouldn't it ?
Commander,|where are you going ?
- Home.|- You-- You mean Earth ?
Yeah, Earth. I need|to get back to Earth, kids.
But the negotiation.|You-You fired on him.
- Yeah, yeah. Long live--|What was your planet called ?|- Thermia.
- Long live Thermia. This way ?|- But what if Sarris survives ?
- I doubt it. I gave him both barrels.|- He has a very powerful ship.
If you got any more problems|with the guy, just give me a call.
- Ow !
- An interstellar vox.|- A what ? Hey.
- How can we thank you, Commander ?
You-- You have saved|our people.
Yeah. Okay. You know, you kids|have been great. You really have.
This thing is real lookin'.|Yoo-hoo. Hello ?
Hey ! Where's my limo ?
Huh ?
Take it from us.|We've been all over the universe.
But we've never seen space-age values|like we've seen here at--
Tech Value|Electronic Superstore !
By Grabthar's hammer,
what a savings.
All right !
Yeah. Let's hear it|for the N.S.E.A. Protector.
- Brandon, are you okay ?|- Commander.
My apologies.
Evidently, we had a little|miscommunication regarding...
the voyage.
That you didn't show up.
- He did it again.|Thank you for coming out.
Do you know what time it is ? Why do|you even bother to show up at all ?
N-N-N-Not now.|Guys, I was there.
I was up there.|Remember yesterday at the convention ?
Those people dressed like aliens ?|They were aliens.
They were Termites or Dalmatians.|I can't really remember|'cause I was hungover.
But what they built|was .
It was a huge spaceship.|I got to fight this guy named Sarris|and I kicked his ass.
I know what you're thinkin'.|But I can prove it. They gave me this.
No, no, no, no, no. But can you|talk to people in space on those ?
Protector,|this is the commander. Over.
- Oh, for God's sake.|- That's it. It's time to go !
This isn't mine.
- That kid. Where's that kid ?|- Begging your pardon, Commander ?
We come with news.|Sarris lives.
- He was able upon your departure|to make an escape.|- Listen. Tell them.
- However, he has contacted us|and wishes to negotiate a surrender.|- Sarris.
We humbly implore you to come|and negotiate the terms.
Huh ? They want me back ?|You want me back ?
Is this amazing ? They want me back, and|I want you guys to go with me. Please ?
Think about it.|Let's go. Yes !
You're-- You're goin' ?
Alexander, this is not--|I'm not kiddin' here.
This isn't some kind of prank.|I'm not kiddin'.
No, guys, guys, listen.|Come on. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen.
Stop. Come here. You know me, and|I'm a lot of things, but am I crazy ?
You know, it's one thing|to treat us this way.
It's another thing to do it|to your fans.
She's not a fan.|This is-- This is a Termite !
You should've just|let me hit him.
Boy, I didn't know|you could get that loaded.
I think we should've|just taken the gig.
I mean, who knows|the next time he'll ask us ?
Fred, he was drunk. Do you really think|he was talking about a job ?
- But you live with your mother.|- Did Jason come through here ?
Yeah, he's in there.|Hey, guys.
Ah. We are coming too.
- All of you wish to go to the ship ?|- Yes, we wish to go to the ship.
You see, we work together,|or not at all.
Wonderful. The commander|had me continue transmission|in case you changed your mind.
- Protector, requesting|four interstellar--|- Me too.
five pods|for immediate departure.
Guys.
- Guys.|- I look forward to meeting you all...
in person when you|arrive at the ship.
- End transmission.
- Oh, my God.
- Anybody got any change ?
Our most sincere apologies.
- We forgot about|our appearance generators.|- You guys came.
Who wants the grand tour ?
- Anybody else ?
That was a hell of a thing.
- What's wrong with them ?|- I don't know. Come on.
That's right, guys.|Keep shaking it off. It gets better.
- Try some gum. It helps.|- Where are we ?
The twenty-third quadrant|of the gamma sector.|There's a map in the forward room.
I'll show you.|Come on.
- Welcome, my friends.|- This is Mathesar. He's their leader.
I am Mathesar.|On behalf of all my people,
I wish to thank you from|the deepest place in our hearts.
Mathesar,|this is, uh, my crew.
Dr. Lazarus.
Dr. Lazarus. Dr. Lazarus.
Lieutenant Madison.
Lieutenant Madison.
Young Laredo,|how you've grown.
Young Laredo.
Tech Sergeant Chen.
Tech Sergeant Chen. Tech Sergeant Chen.
C-Crew man number--|Guy.
Guy.
You... know us ?
I don't believe there is a man, woman|or child on my planet who does not.
Since we first received transmission|of your historical documents,
we have studied every facet|of your missions and strategies.
- You've been watchin' the show ?|- Lieutenant, historical documents.
- H-Historical documents from out here ?|- Yes.
The past hundred years our society|had fallen into disarray.
Our goals, our values had become|scattered. But since the transmission,
- we have modeled every aspect|of our society...
from your example,|and it has saved us.
Your courage and teamwork|and friendship through adversity--
In fact, all you see around you|has been taken from the lessons...
garnered from|the historical documents.
- Is this a-- a spaceship ?|- No.
This is a star port|for the ship.
Would you guys|like to see the ship ?
Oh, my God !
It's real.
The generator room.
The beryllium sphere,|of course.
And as we continue--
The medical quarters|are to the left.
We went through some trouble|duplicating your cellular regeneration--
- Jason, what have you got us into ?|- What are we doing here ?
- Wow, the floors are so clean.|- We're just here to negotiate|this guy Sarris' surrender.
- It's no big deal.|- And the organ fabrication chamber|is coming along nicely.
It's no big deal ?
- Are you crazy ?|We have to get out of here.|- Oh, come on, guys.
Jason, we are actors,|not astronauts.
You guys wanna go home ?|Say the word, we'll go home.
Pay our bills,|feed our fish,
fall asleep in front of the TV|and miss out on all of this.
Come on. Do you guys|wanna do that ? Anybody ?
Gwen, come on.|Look at where we are. We're in space.
Alexander, this is the role|of a lifetime. You guys wanna leave ?
We have enjoyed preparing|many of your esoteric dishes.
Your Monte Cristo sandwich is a current|favorite among the adventurous.
The main barracks.
At ease.
It's like throwing gasoline|on a flame.
What ?
I'm just jazzed about|being on the show, man.
lf you would all take your positions.
- Our what ?|- Guys.
- Oh. Oh.|- Oh.|- Oh, wh-- Hmm.
Look, this thingy.
I remember--|I remember I had it all worked out.
This is forward.|This is back.
Commander, some of the crew|has requested to be present|at this historic event.
Sure. Bring 'em in.
No pressure, huh ?|Glad I ain't the commander.
Laredo, take us out.
- Excuse me ?
They designed those controls|after watching you.
- Take her out.|- Right, right.
Okay.
Right.
Right.|Take her out.
Okay.
Y-you gotta move|to the right.
- Hit parallel.|- Would you sit your ass down ?|Sit ! You wanna drive ?
Oh. Mmm.
How are you enjoying|your steak, Commander ?
I'm really enjoying it.|This is like corn-fed lowa beef.
Yes. We programmed|the food synthesizer...
for each of you based on|the regional menu of your birthplace.
I don't care where|you did it. It tastes great !
Are you enjoying your|Kep-mok bloodticks, Dr. Lazarus ?
Just like Mother|used to make.
So, um--|Tell me, Mathesar.
This Sarris person|that we're flying to meet,
- what does he want, exactly ?
He heard about the device--|the Omega 13.
Um, what is it ?|What does it do ?
We don't know.
We were hoping|you could enlighten us.
Oh.|The Omega 13 device.
We found that on an alien planet.|We don't know what it does either.
- Why don't you just turn it on|and see what it does ?
It has at its heart a reactor|capable of unthinkable energy.
If we were mistaken in our construction,|the device would...
act as a molecular explosive,|causing a chain reaction...
that would obliterate|all matter in the universe.
Has Sarris ever seen any|of the, uh, historical records ?
No, thank God, he has not.
Oh. So how does he know about|the Omega 13 device ?
Our former commander|was not... strong.
Former commander ?
I am sorry.|You deserve to be shown.
The tape was smuggled off|of Sarris' ship.
Originally, one of our own|tried to lead.
Is that all ?|After three days of this,
you still require...|incentive ?
I have told you all I know.
If you have any mercy within you,|please, let me die.
[ Sarris ] When I grow weary|of the noises you make, you shall die.
Wait a minute, guys. Come on.|Hold on a minute. You just can't leave.
- Give me some time to think.|- He wants to think.
No, Jason, that's a wrap.|There's nothing to think about.
I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm|just crewman number six. I'm expendable.
I'm the guy in the episode who dies|to prove the situation is serious.|I gotta get out.
- Commander ?|- We gotta prepare the pods|for my crew's departure.
Begging your commander's pardon, sir.|We can't launch pods at the moment.
- Sarris will surely detonate|any objects leaving the ship.|- Sarris ?
Yes, sir. He's here now. Your presence|is required on the command deck.
There's nobody here.
While my people are|talented scientists,
our attempt to operate|our own technologies...
under tactical simulation|have been disastrous.
- I have raised Sarris|on zeta frequency.|- Mathesar--
We meet again, Commander.
Hello, Sarris. How you doin' ?
Better than my lieutenant.
He failed to activate the ship's|neutron armor as quickly as I'd hoped...
on our last encounter.
Yeah, well, you know,|I'd like to say I'm real sorry|about what happened before.
The whole thing was just--|just a misunderstanding.
Deliver the device to me,
or I will destroy your ship.
You know, um,|we'd like do that,
but frankly, Sarris, sir, we don't know|what it is or even where it is.
You have ten seconds !
I don't-- Ten seconds ?|I don't-- There--
You know-- Okay. Gosh darn it,|I give up. It's yours. You can have it.
You have to give me a minute|to put it in a box for you, okay ?
- Gwen.
Don't panic. I've dealt with|this guy before. He's as stupid|as he is ugly. Come here.
- Jason.|- Not now, Gwen. Sit, sit, sit, sit.
We're gonna send everything|we can at him, all right ?
- Jason.|- Not now, Gwen !
Push these red buttons and send|everything we have towards him, okay ?
- Okay.|- All right, Gwen.
- Put me back on with him.|- Well, I'm trying to tell you,|you are back with him.
Perhaps I'm not as stupid|as I am ugly, Commander.
I gave you the...|"kill" gesture.
No, you gave me|the "we're dead" signal.
I was agreeing with you.|Like I know where the hold button is.
Hey, guys.
- There's a red, uh, thingy...
movin' toward the green thingy.
- What ?|- Red thingy movin'|toward the green thingy.
I think-- I think|we're the green thingy.
A little present|for you, Commander.
We gotta get out of here. Move|this ship. Turn it. Move ! Let's go !
- Tommy, let's go !|Get us out of here !|- Jason, what do I do ?
Go, go, go !
Whoo !
They're turning.|They're coming !
Thrust ahead, full !
Fire at will.
- Go faster, Tommy !
- I'm going as fast as I can !|- She's still behind us !
Well, uh, uh, press turbo. I'm always|saying, "Press the turbo," right ?
- Oh, it's here. Right here.|- Press it and hold it down.
- Whoo !
The enemy is matching velocity.
- Enemy is matching velocity.|- We heard it the first time !
Gosh, I'm doing it.|I'm repeating the darn computer.
Hi, guys. Listen.|They're tellin' me...
the, uh-- the generators|won't take it.
The ship is breakin' apart|and all that.
Just F.Y.I.
- We've gotta stop !|- We stop and we die.|Tommy, just hold that down.
- You don't hold the turbo down.|It's for quick boosts !|- Oh, like you know.
- I remember that sound.
That's a bad sound.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. We might be able|to lose them in this cloud here.
Oh, I don't--|I don't think that's a cloud.
- Mathesar, what is this ?|- Tothian minefield left standing|from the Great War of 12185.
Oh, God !|Whoo !
Could you possibly try|not to hit every single one ?
Sorry, man. They're driftin'|towards us ! I think they're magnetic !
Continue forward, sir ?
Patience, Lieutenant.
Patience.
- We've gotta stop !|- We're almost through this.
- You okay ? You all right ?|- Yeah.
- Everybody all right ? Where's Tommy ?
- Oh, man !|- Tommy ! You all right ?
No, my arm is broke--|No, don't touch it. Don't touch it.
- I'll take him to medical quarters.|- Thanks, Mathesar.
Alex, where are you going ?
To see if there's a pub.
Forward thruster shaft:|87 percent damage.
Aft vector guards:|96 percent damage.
Structural breaches|in quadrants 32, 34, 40--
- What about the engines ?|- Forward thruster shaft:
- 87 percent damage.|- Computer, what about the engines ?
- Why don't we have power ?|- The beryllium sphere|has fractured under stress.
- It's fractured.|- Can it be repaired ?
- Computer, can it be repaired ?|- Damage to beryllium sphere:|irreparable.
- New source of beryllium|must be secured.|- We need another one.
You broke the ship.|You broke the bloody ship.
Eh, ah--
Computer, is there a replacement|beryllium sphere on board ?
Computer, is there a replacement|beryllium sphere on board ?
Negative. No reserve|beryllium sphere exists on board.
No, we have no extra|beryllium sphere on board.
You know, that is|really getting annoying.
Look, I have one job|on this lousy ship.
It's stupid,|but I'm gonna do it, okay ?
Sure, no problem.
A thousand apologies.|We have failed you.
How have you failed us ?
We have seen you victorious in|much more desperate situations.
The fault must lie with us,|with the ship.
No, Mathesar, it is not your fault,|and it's not the ship's fault.
It's-lt's-lt's-lt's|my fault.
-We-We screwed--|-We are not the people you think we are.
I don't understand.
Didn't you make any TV shows|on your planet ? Any theater, films ?
The historical documents|of your culture.
Yes, in fact, we have begun to document|our history from your example.
No, not historical documents. They're|not all historical documents. I mean,
surely you don't think|that Gilligan's lsland is a--
- Those poor people.
Oh, brother.
We're screwed.
Is there no one on your planet|who behaves in a way...
that's contrary|to reality ?
You are speaking of--
- Deception, lies.|- Deception, lies.
We have only recently|become aware of this concept|in our dealings with Sarris.
Often, Sarris will say one thing|and do another.
Promise us mercy,|but deliver destruction.
It is a concept we are beginning|to learn at some great costs.
But if you are saying that|any of you could have traits|in common with Sarris--
Hey, Commander, listen. We found|some beryllium on a nearby planet.
We might be able to get there...
if we reconfigure|the solar matrix...
in parallel|for endothermic propulsion.
What do you think ?
- We'll do that !|- All right !
That's-That's-That's|right again.
That's-- C-C-Come on.|Group hug.
- Come on.
Dr. Lazarus, I hope|I am not breaching protocol,
but I am so very humbled|to stand in your presence.
I have studied your missions|extensively.
Though I am Thermian, I have lived|my life by your philosophy,
by the code|of the Mak'tar.
- Oh, good, that's very nice.|- By Grabthar's hammer, Dr. Lazarus.
- Don't do that. I'm not kidding.|- I'm sorry, sir, I was just--
Just don't.
Yes, sir.
Never give up,|never surrender.
Dr. Lazarus ?
Here is your surface mapper. I have|programmed it to the coordinates...
of a beryllium sphere|of sufficient density.
- Good luck on your mission, sir.|- Thanks.
You're doing good,|Tommy.
I changed my mind.|I wanna go back.
After the fuss you made|about getting left behind ?
Yeah, but that's when I thought|I was the crewman...
that stays on the ship, and something|is up there, and it kills me.
But now I'm thinking I'm the guy|who gets killed by some monster...
five minutes after we land|on the planet.
You're not gonna die|on the planet, Guy.
I'm not ?|Then what's my last name ?
It's, uh, uh--|I don't know.
Nobody knows !|Do you know why ?
Because my character isn't|important enough for a last name,
because I'm gonna die|five minutes in.
Guy, you have a last name.
- Do I ? Do I ?|- Yes !
For all you know,|I'm just crewman number six.
Mommy ! Mommy ! Mommy !
Are we there yet ?
- Mommy !|- Tommy !
- Look out ! Oh, no !|- Pull out !
Oh, yeah !
- Don't open that !|It's an alien planet !
Is there air ?|You don't know !
Seems okay.
Here we go.
Which way, Alexander ?
This way !
Wait. No.
- That way.|- You were holding it upside down.
- Shut up.|- You know, with|all that makeup and stuff,
I actually thought|you were smart for a second.
You think you could|do better, Laredo ?
- All right with that Laredo stuff.|- Oh, we're so screwed.
Come on, come on, come on,|if we wanna finish this mission,|we have to use self-control.
"Self-control" ?|That's funny, coming from a guy...
who slept with every Turekian slave|girl and moon princess on the show.
Ever occur to you,|had you been more supportive,|you might've been--
Wow. Must be|some sort of mining facility.
- Where are the miners ?|- Something bad happened here.
- Will you relax ?
There they are.|Beryllium spheres. Let's go.
Look at that.
Would you look at that ?|They look like little children.
Could they be the miners ?
Sure, they're like|three years old.
Miners, not minors.
- You lost me.|- I don't like this.
- I don't like this at all.|- They are so cute.
Sure, they're cute now.|In a second, they're gonna get mean.
They're gonna get ugly somehow, then|there's gonna be a million more of them.
Look.|There's a little hurt one.
Oh.
Hi.|Hi there.
- Ah !|- Shh !
- Did you guys ever watch the show ?
See ?
They're gonna help|the little hurt one.
I'm so sick|of being right.
- Let's get out of here before|one of those things kills Guy.|- Wait a minute.
We're not going anywhere without|a beryllium sphere. We need a plan.
Fred, I need a diversion|to clear the compound of those things.
Then, Alex and Gwen and I|will go get a sphere.
Tommy, get up on that ridge,|and if you see them come back,|give me a signal, all right ?
Why does this sound|so familiar ?
"Assault on Voltareck 3,"|episode 81.
- We're doing episode 81 ?|- Whatever. The one with|the hologram, the wall of fire.
Well, how the hell is Fred|supposed to project a hologram ?
- What did we do in episode 81 ?|- It's just a rough plan.
- What difference does it make|if it's episode 81 or not ?|- 'Cause I died in episode 81 !
- Shh ! Episode 51, right ?|- This is ludicrous.
Why are you listening to this fellow ?|May I remind you:
He's wearing a costume,|not a uniform.
He's no more equipped to lead us|than this fellow. No offense.
Look, they're gone.
- Where'd they go, back inside ?|- I don't know.
- Nobody was watching.|- All right, all right !
Listen up. Here's the plan.|Gwen, Fred, Alex and l,|we'll go down and get a sphere.
Fleegman, you set up a perimeter,|and Tommy, you're lookout.
- You see anything at all,|you give us a signal.|- What kind of a signal ?
- Any kind of signal.|- Okay, I'll do my hands|like this, and caw, caw !
What are you, an infant ?|Look, we have these.
- That-- Sorry.|- All right, let's go.
- Does rolling help ?|- Uh-huh, it helps.
- Where's your gun ?|- It helps.|- Shoot !
- Oh.|- What ?
Never give up, never surrender.
Oh, shut up.
Run ! Run ! Run !
- They're everywhere,|they're everywhere.|- Everywhere !
- Come on, let's go.|- Let's go !
- Hurry !
They're everywhere.|Come on !
Don't look back. Don't look back.
- We're not gonna make it.
- Oh, God !
- I knew it, I knew it.|I knew this was gonna kill me.|- Hurry ! Go, go, go !
Come on. Push. Let's go. Go !
I got it, but it's gonna|take a few seconds.
I got it, I got it !
- Go ahead.|- There's no time. Get in, get in.
Of course, I forgot, you've got|to be the hero. Haven't you ?
Heaven forbid anybody else gets|the spotlight ! Oh, no, Jason Nesmith--
- Oh ! Jason ! Jason, come on !
- Hurry !|- Tommy, go ! Go ! I mean it !
Help ! No, no, no ! Jason, please !|Tommy, stop the pod, stop it !
- I can't stop it. It's on autopilot.|- Go ! Leave him !
No !
[ Screeching ]
Oh, right !
Of course, it's always|about you, isn't it ?
Oh, hey !
Gorignack, Gorignack.
- Gorignak, Gorignak,|Gorignak, Gorignak.
Jason ? Jason,|can you hear me ?
- Yeah, Gwen, you got me.|- Thank God. Are you okay ?
Yeah. As a matter of fact,|I've got Gorignak staring me|in the face right now.
But you know what ?|I think I can take him.
Jason, we're gonna use the digital|conveyor to get you out of there.
- The digital conveyor ?|- Yeah.
You gonna have me diced into cubes|and sent up there in a million pieces ?
- Right.|- Well, you know what ?
I think I'll take my chances|with Gorignak.
We're getting you out right now.|It's perfectly safe, isn't it, Teb ?
It has never been|successfully tested.
- What did he say ?|- Hold, please.
Theoretically, the mechanism|is fully operational.
However, it was built to accommodate|your anatomy, not ours.
But now that Tech Sergeant Chen|is here, he can operate it.
It was designed watching his motions|from the historical documents.
I-l-l mean, I can't.
- I-l can supervise.|- Jason, we're gonna test it.
- On what ?|- How about that pig lizard ?
- Hey, I'm doing all right|with the pig lizard.|- Please, Fred. And hurry.
I'm sorry. It's very exciting|to watch the master at the controls.
The operation of the conveyor is|much more-- hmm-mmm-- art than science.
Stand back, Jason.
Gorignak, Gorignak,|Gorignak.
- What ? What was that ?|- Uh--|- Nothing.
- I heard some squealing or something.|- Oh, no, everything's fine.
But the animal is|inside out.
I heard that.|It turned inside out ?
And it exploded.
Did I just hear that the animal|turned inside out and exploded ?
Hello ?
Hold, please.
Hey, wait a minute.|Guys, guys.
If the pig lizard is gone,|why are they still yelling "Gorignak."
Teb, hit|the translation circuit.
Gorignak, Gorignak. Rock.
Rock, rock, rock.
- Jason,
I don't think the pig lizard|was Gorignak.
What the hell|you talkin' about ?
Oh, darn.
Digitize me !
- Come on, Fred.|- Come on, guys, digitize me !
- Not me.|- Come on, they based it|on your hand movements.
- Am I the only one who saw|that thing inside out ?|- No, no, no, no.
I-l-l'm not the guy.
I'm not Tech Sergeant Chen.|Kwan's not even my real name.
Fred's no good, Jason.|You're just gonna have to kill it.
Kill it ? Well,|I'm open to any suggestions.
Go for the eyes,|like in episode 22 !
It doesn't have|any eyes, Tommy.
Go for the mouth or throat,|its vulnerable spots !
It's a rock.|It doesn't have any vulnerable spots !
I know ! You construct a weapon.|Look around you.
- Can you form some sort|of rudimentary lathe ?|- A lathe !
Get off the line, Guy ! Alexander,|you're my advisor. Advise me.
Well, you're just gonna have to|figure out what it wants.
What is its motivation ?
It's a rock monster.|It doesn't have motivation.
See, that's your problem, Jason.|You were never serious about the craft.
Oh ! Fred, can you hear me ?
Fred, are you there ?
- Kinda.|- You can do it, Fred. It's up to you.
Oh, no, no, no. Jason,|I'll just-- I'll just mess it up.
You did it for four years|on the show. Do it now.
That was the show.|I'm not that guy.
You never forgot a line.|You never missed a mark.
That's not me anymore, man.
It is you, Fred.|You just stopped trying.
You could do this, Fred. I know|in my heart, you're gonna save my life.
- I am ?|- No doubt about it, Fred.
Fred !
Fred, can you hear me ?
Fred !
Fred ?|I don't wanna die down here.
Digitize me, Fred !
- Oh, wow.|- Oh !
- Tech Sergeant Chen.|- Yeah !
Oh !
I see you managed|to get your shirt off.
- I did it.|- Welcome back, Fred.
All right, did we get|the beryllium sphere installed ?
- Yes, we are back to full power.|- Great. Engines and pods ?
- Fully operational.|- Perfect ! We'll crank this sucker up.
You can drop us off, and you guys can be|back to your home planet before supper.
Oh, no, sir,|we have no reason to go back.
Sure you do.|Family, friends. Come on.
We are all that is left.
- I didn't know that.|- Sir, I have raised the command deck.
Mathesar, meet us up|on the command deck.
Mathesar.
Mathesar, Quellek !
Why can't we reach them ?
Thank God, you're alive.
Now you will face justice,|Sarris.
At every turn, you demonstrate|the necessity for your extermination.
Leave him alone.
You wish to save the life|of this man ?
Yeah. Yes.
Then tell me--|what does it do,
- this Omega 13 ?|- I don't know what it does.
I said, I don't know.
- Is it a bomb ?|- I don't know.
- A booby trap ?|- I don't know !
- Tell me !|- I don't know !
- [ Moaning ]|- Do you think I'm a fool ?
That the commander does not know|every bolt, every weld in his ship ?
Prepare a tear harness...
for the female.
- You brute ! Let go of me !
I'm not the commander.
What did you say ?
I said,|I'm not the commander.
Leave them alone.|There's no reason to hurt them.
- They don't know anything.|- Explain.
Gwen, show him|the historical documents.
Computer,
show the historical documents|of the Galaxy Quest missions.
Wonderful.
You have all done far greater damage|than I ever could have.
Bravo !
Bravo.
This is a moment|I will treasure.
Explain to him...
who you all really are.
Tell him !
Explain !
Mathesar, the--
There's no such person|as Captain Taggart.
My name is Jason Nesmith.|I am an actor.
We're all actors.
He doesn't understand.
Explain as you would|a child.
We, uh--|We pretended.
We lied.
- Yes ! You understand that,|don't you, Mathesar ?
Mathesar, l--|I'm not a commander.
There's no National Space|Exploration Administration.
We don't have a ship.
But there it is.
That ship is that big.
But inside,|I see many rooms.
You've seen plywood sets|that look like the inside.
Our beryllium sphere is-is wire|with plaster around it.
And our--
our digital conveyor is...
Christmas tree lights.
It's a decoration.|It's all fake.
Just like me.
But why ?
It's difficult|to explain.
On our planet, we--
we pretend|to-to entertain and--
Mathesar,|I am so sorry.
God, I am so sorry.
- So now you know.
Lieutenant Lathe, hardwire|the reactor core to overload.
I would like to blow|this troublesome vehicle to dust.
- Sarris, what about my people ?|- Yes !
Far too simple|a death for them, isn't it ?
Lathe, open an oxygen seal|on level "C."
Let the air in a bit|for our friends.
Son of a--
Release them...
into space.
Core overload.|Emergency shutdown: overridden.
Core implosion estimated|in nine minutes.
- Core overload.|Emergency shutdown: overridden.|- Hey !
Where's the happy ending, Jason ?
Never give up,|never surrender.
Maybe it's about time you just backed|off, you fin-headed monstrosity.
- Jason ?|- You what ?
You're starting to act|like you did in episode 17,
you scene-stealing hack.
Oh, right.
Well, how does it feel, Jason ?
-Was it worth it ? You murdered us all !|-Shut up.
Hundreds to die|just because of you.
- I told you to shut up.|- Both of you, get in there.
Hundreds to die just because|you wanna play a big commander.
- You raving lunatic.|- Then I'll see you in hell, won't I ?
- Look out, Jason !|- Get his gun ! Get the gun !
Take that !
Sorry, I was-- Door was|a little sticky. Did you see that ?
I'll get one of my boys up here|with a can of WD-40.
- You used to pull your punches.|- Scene-stealing hack, thank you.
- Raving egomaniac.|- Can't think where I got that from.
Guys.
Look.
They're suffocating.
Core overload.|Emergency shutdown: overridden.
Core implosion estimated|in eight minutes.
General, your transport|is ready for departure !
Core overload.|Emergency shutdown: overridden.
Core implosion estimated|in seven minutes.
- Computer, shut down the core.|- Unable.
Memory checks invalid.|Core system's hardware damaged.
All right, listen up, this is what|we gotta do. Gwen, you and l,
we're gonna get to the core|and shut it down manually.
Fred, take Guy and Laliari.|You find that valve.
Shut it off before|those Thermians run out of air.
Alexander, get to the barracks. Wedge|a door open, in case they can't do that.
- Okay.|- Wait, Jason. What about me ?|What do I do ?
You're gonna practice driving.|Let's go !
Practice driving.
- So we get to shut down|a neutron reactor.|- That's right.
I hate to break it|to you, Jason,
but I don't know how to|shut down a neutron reactor,
and unless you took a learning annex|course I don't know about,
I'm pretty sure you don't know how|to shut down a neutron reactor either.
No, I don't,|but I know someone who does.
- Brandon, honey, garbage.
Aw, Mother,|I'm quite busy.
Come on, Brandon,|don't make me ask you again.
Just ten more minutes.|Okay, Ma, I promise.
Great.
- Hello ? Anybody there ?
Hello ?
Hello ?
Got him. Listen to me.|This is Jason Nesmith.
I play Commander Peter Quincy Taggart,|N.S.E.A. Protector.
We accidentally traded boxes the other|day when we bumped into each other.
Oh ? Oh.|Commander, I see.
- Okay.|- What's your name, son ?
[ Sighs ]|Brandon.
Brandon, I remember you|from the convention, right ?
You asked all those little|technical questions about the ship,
and I was a little short|with you.
Yes, yes, I know, Commander,|and I actually wanna--
I just wanted to tell you that|l-l thought a lot about what you said.
- It's okay. Listen.|- But I want you to know...
that I'm not a complete|brain case, okay ?
I understand completely|that it's just a TV show.
- H-Hold-- Wait a minute.
Stop for a second.|Stop. Wait. It's all real.
Oh, my God, I knew it.|I knew it ! I knew it !
The crew and I are in a lot of trouble,|and we need your help.
Core overload.|Emergency shutdown: overridden.
Core implosion estimated|in six minutes.
Sir, it's you.|Thank lpthar.
Quellek ?|What are you doing up there ?
I avoided capture by using|your Mak'tar stealth face.
- Where is everyone ?|- Come with me.
I'll explain on the way.
All right, we're at level "C,"|hallway five. Now what ?
Um, go to weapons storage,|your second left, through the passage.
And that leads to a system|of utility corridors|through the bowels of the ship.
- Open.|- You know, I'm gonna get Kyle.
He knows the utility tunnel system|better than anybody alive.
...38, 39, 40.
All we have to do is|turn off the valve to the barracks.
- Hi, Brandon.|- No time for pleasantries, Kyle.
We have a level five emergency.|You still got the utility systems|walk-through, right ?
Yeah, I've got sectors|one through twenty-eight.|Hollister has the upper levels.
Great.|We'll get everybody on-line.
- Pedal to the metal, Commander.|- Pedal to the metal, Commander.
General !|I have just received word...
that the commander of the Protector|and his command crew...
have escaped custody.
What ?
- Find them !|- But sir ! My men--|The core implosion--
Find them !
All right, Brandon, I see five ducts|in this room. Which way do we go ?
Enter the passage|second to your left...
and just continue straight|for 50 meters.
Ducts ?|Why is it always ducts ?
- Ah, there will be a slight drop.
Thanks for the heads-up,|Brandon ! You okay ?
They're dying.
- Wait a minute.|We gotta go across this thing ?|- Yes.
- Don't look down.|- What I'd give to see|what you're seeing.
- What are you talking about ?|- You're deep in the underbelly|of the Omega 13 !
Oh, it must be spectacular.
It-lt doesn't look|like much to me.
There's just these few walls|and this dumb spinning fan|that we have in every single--
Brandon, what does|the Omega 13 device do ?
Uh, many have believed|that it is a matter collapser.
A bomb capable of destroying pretty much|everything in about 13 seconds.
- But myself and others are convinced|that what it is...|- I'm gonna go. Go.
is a matter rearranger,
affecting a 13-second time jump|to the past.
Why 13 seconds ?|That's really not enough time|to do anything of any importance.
- It'd be time to redeem|a single mistake.|- What ?
- Go, go, go, go !
We-We gotta turn off that valve.|Their oxygen's almost gone.
Listen.|I'll go in.
I'll create a distraction.|I've got this. I'm okay.
I'm gonna be able to hold him back|long enough for the aliens to escape.
- That's suicide.|- I'm just a glorified extra, Fred.
I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die,|I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Guy, Guy, maybe you're|the plucky comic relief.
You ever think|about that ?
- Plucky ?|- Oh, besides,
I just had this|really interesting idea.
Are you stoned ?
Gotta get her up|and give them some time.
- Sir, perhaps together--
the Mak'tar chant of strength:|Larak tarath.
- Larak tarath, larak tarath.|- Larak tarath.
[ Together ] Larak tarath, larak tarath,|larak tarath, larack tarath.
All right, Brandon, we're across.|Now what ?
You wanna take a left and then just|straight on through the chompers.
"The chompers" ?
- Well, screw that.|- How are we supposed|to get through this ?
Hollister, do you have|the sequence yet ?
Okay, the sequence is...
two-two-four-two--
What is this thing ?|I mean, it serves no useful purpose...
for there to be a bunch|of chompy, crushy things|in the middle of a hallway !
We shouldn't have to do this.|It makes no sense ! Why is it here ?
- 'Cause it's on the television show.|- Well, forget it !
I am not doing it !|This episode was badly written !
Okay, Commander, now, as soon|as the first crusher hits you--
- It just did !
- Okay, go now.|- Go !
Go ! Stop !
Go !|Wait a minute.
Come on,|come on, come on.
Go ! Go !
Go ! Go !
- Go !|- Stop, stop. Go !
- Stop !
Jump, Commander, jump !
Whoever wrote this episode|should die !
This should be interesting.
It's the simple things in life|you treasure.
That's great.
Now, we better get--
Get a room, guys.
Whoa !
Hey, Fred.
Hey, Fred, uh--
Oh, that's not right.|Oh !
Sir, the pressure--|it's normalizing.
All right !
We are saved.
He has saved us.
Commander Taggart|has saved us !
It's just not fair.
All right, Quellek,|let's get back to the commander.
[ Laser Blast ]
I'm-l'm shot.
- Quellek ?
That's not too bad.
We'll get you to the medical quarters,|and you'll be fine.
It has been my greatest honor|to serve with you.
I have been blessed, sir.|I-l--
Don't speak, Quellek.
You'll forgive|my impertinence, sir,
but even though|we had never before met,
I always considered you|as a father to me.
Quellek.
By Grabthar's hammer,
by the sons of Warvan,
you shall be avenged.
...13, 14, 15, 16,|17, 18, 19 !
- All right, Brandon,|how do we shut this thing down ?|- Okay, just push the blue button.
- The blue button-- is that it ?|- Yeah, why ? What's wrong ?
Nothing. I just thought it'd be|more complicated than that.
Core implosion estimated|in 20 seconds.
Brandon, it's not working.|Brandon !
Mother, I cannot stress enough|the severity...
- of the commander's predicament.|- Don't forget the recyclables !
Core implosion estimated|in ten seconds.
- Nine, eight,|- Gwen, l--
- seven, six,|- I've always--
- five, four,|- Jason, oh, Jason.
three, two, one.
- It always stops at one on the show.
Um, what were you saying ?
- Sir !|- What ?
The core detonation sequence|on the Protector has been aborted.
Impossible !|lmpossible !
Lock a complement of implosion missiles|under the Protector.
Tear her apart.
He's finished. Alexander,|listen to me. It's okay, it's okay.
The Thermians can handle it from here.|We gotta go. Come on.
We need that armor|back up !
- Get me a forward view right now !|- Plasma armor: engaged.
- All right, Tommy, see if you can|lose 'em in that mine field.
- M-Mine field ?|- Pedal to the medal, right now !
- Pedal to the medal !|- All right, let's go !
Good going, Tommy.|Great going.
Thrust ahead-- full !
Into the field !|Go !
- Tommy, can you get us closer|to these mines ?|- Closer ?
I could try.
General,|I've lost them.
The magnetism of the mine field|is disrupting our instruments.
Wait !|I see something.
Yes. Yes !|There they are.
- Get back on their tail.|- I can't, sir.
- What ? Why not ?|- Because they're coming right at us.
Fire at will.
Whoo ! We're getting hammered,|Jason ! Return fire ?
No ! Divert all energy|to the armor !
How adorable--
the actors are going|to play war with me.
- Sarris' ship, accelerating|toward us at mark 2.|- Accelerate to mark 4.
Let me remind you, sonny:
I am a general.
If you are counting on me|to blink,
then you are making|a deadly mistake.
Well, let me tell you|something, Sarris.
It doesn't take a great actor to|recognize a bad one. You're sweating.
Armor almost gone, Jason !
You fool ! You failed to realize|that with your armor gone,
my ship will tear through yours|like tissue paper.
And what you fail to realize is|my ship is dragging mines.
Oh, no !|Turn, turn !
- We did it !
Yes ! Yes !
- Yes !
Yes ! Yes !
- Mathesar !
- Oh, my God, you're alive.
- Come here.|- The ship was a model as big as this.
A very clever|deception indeed.
Set a course|for home, Commander ?
- Can you do that ?|- Oh, yeah, just point and click.
- But we're gonna have to go|through the black hole.|- Any objections ?
All right, set her up.
What's the matter,|Mathesar ?
We were hoping|you could come with us.
M-My people|have no commander.
Mathesar, I think your people...
have a great commander.
All right, Tommy,|take us into the black hole.
- We're out !|- We're going home.
- Systems register functional.|- All systems are working, Commander.
Jason, before the black hole, there was|an energy surge from Sarris' ship.
Let's not worry about that|right now, Alexander.|Fred, what are you doing up here ?
Shouldn't you be downstairs|until we dec-- Hey, you can put|an eye out with that thing.
Fred ?
No !
Mathesar ! Activate|the Omega 13 !
- We're out !|- We're going home !
Systems register functional.
All systems are working,|Commander.
Jason, before the black hole, there was|an energy surge from Sarris' ship.
Jason, what are you doing ?|What are you doing ?
Let go of me. Let--|It's not Fred.
That's Sarris. Listen to me.|I'm telling you, that's not Fred,|that's Sarris.
He's gonna try to kill|all of us.
Never give up,|never surrender.
Jason. Jason !|I can't slow it down !
Our ship is too big|to enter the atmosphere.
We need to separate,|or we'll die.
We gotta do it.|It's our only hope, Mathesar.
Thank you.
Crew to|the secondary deck.
Mathesar !
Good-bye, my friends.
Fred, get up to command deck.|We're separating.
On, Teb, on !
This is the third day|of the Galaxy Con,
and Jason Nesmith and his entire crew|are no-shows here at the big event,
much to the disappointment|of all these fans, knows as Questoids.
- Bye. Be back soon.|- Wait a minute. Where you going|with those fireworks ?
Well, the Protector|got super accelerated|coming out of the black hole,
and it nailed the atmosphere|at mark 15,
which, you guys know,|is pretty unstable obviously,
so we're gonna help Laredo guide it|on the vox ultra-frequency carrier...
and use Roman candles|for visual confirmation.
A-All right,|dinner's at 7:00.
- Well, he's outside.|- Hmm.
Lieutenant Laredo--|Tommy Webber !
Hi, Tommy !
The beautiful Tawny Madison--|Gwen DeMarco !
Yes ! Yes !
Wow, what effects !
Another shipmate !|Yes, the more, the merrier !
The ship's Tech Sergeant Chen,|Fred Kwan, and a friend.
Dr. Lazarus--|Alexander Dane !
Give a big hand.|He's British !
Yes, sir !
Commander Peter Quincy Taggart--|Jason Nesmith !
Great driving, Tommy.
Yeah ! Yes !
Quick, quick, quick.
Mr. Jason Nesmith !
Come on, give it up for the crew,|the N.S.E.A. Protector !
Ah, true love !|Yes !
Wow !
They're here for you folks.|Give it up !
What a show !
What a show ! Yes !
Yes ! Yes !
Come on, give it up !|Give it all up...
for the crew of your favorite show,|Galaxy Quest !
Wow !
Come on, come on !
Don't forget to buy Galaxy Quest|T-shirts on your way out.
Thank you.
Whoo !
And now,|back again after 18 years,
the New Adventures of Galaxy Quest.
Never give up, never surrender.
GI Joe Valor Vs Venom CD1
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Get Carter 1971
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Guadalcanal Diary
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