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Happiness

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HAPPINESS
Andy?
...Are you Okay?
Yeah.
Sure. I'm...l'm fine.
Good. Well. I had a really nice time.
Yeah. Me too.
Of course, you know I've always had a really nice time with you.
Same here.
But...
Yeah.
You understand.
Uh-Huh.
Well.
The food here was excellent...
I'm gonna recommend it to my sisters!
How many stars did it get?
Three and a half.
Oh!
Do you feel better now?
Me too.
Sorry.
It's really...
It's good we had this talk.
Yeah. Yeah.
Before things went too far...You know got too serious.
Yeah...l mean...are you sure?
Oh, yes.
Is it someone else?
No...it's just you.
Hey, I want to show you something I got you.
For me?
Yeah...Open it up.
Oh, but...
Andy. This is...oh...this is beautiful!
"joy"
Thanks.
It's a Gainsevort reproduction.
Boston, late 1880's. I...
I sent away for it just after we had our...first date and...
Oh, I just love it. It's...it's a collector's item.
Yeah...it is pretty special.
It almost makes me want to learn know to smoke!
Hey, look at the back.
Uuh.
That's a forty karat... gold-plated...inlaid base.
Oh, Andy. I just love, is... This really means something to me.
I'll always treasure it...as a token...
No, you won't.
Cause this for the girl who loves me.
The girl who cares about me... for who I am not what I look like.
I just wanted you to you what you'd be missing.
You think I don't appreciate art. You think I don't understand fashion.
You think I'm not hip. You think I'm pathetic a nerd...a lard-ass fatso.
You think I'm shit. Well, you're wrong.
Cause I'm champagne. And you're shit.
And till the day you die...you, not me...will always be shit.
I dunno but whenever I see her I just wanna you know...
I wanna...undress her... I want to tie her up...l wanna pump her...
umm...pump pump pump... till she screams bloody murder.
And then I wanna flip her ass over and...and upmp her even more...
and so hard that my dick shoots right through her...and then my...
...come squirts out of her mouth...And not that I could ever..actually do
See...if she only knew how I felt, how deep down
I really cared for her...respected her... respected her.
Maybe. Now...Oh... But she doesn't even knows I exist.
I mean, she knows I exist l... mean we are...neighbors, you know...we...
You know smile politely at each other...But...
I don't know I could ever really begin to really talk to her,
I mean what can I talk about I have nothing to talk about I'm boring.
That I know.
I've been told before, so don't tell me it's not true.
Cause it's a fact I bore people.
People look at me and they get bored.
People listen to me and they zone out... bored...
Who is that boring person...they think...
I've never before meet someone so boring.
And for her to see how boring I am...
A gallon of skin milk... No! No, no!
Dozen eggs...
...one of those disposable cameras for the weekend...
And for her to see. How boring I'm. No!.
Stop at the 7-1 1 on the way home...
No! No! I got to the dry-cleaning for Trish...
It's better I say nothing. Check Billy's homework...
...and cal I Mrs. Mitchell about her appointment on Tuesday...
I got to reschedule the dentist.
But you know what I'm going to do ...l got to get the dog cleaned.
The next time I see her as soon as I see her...l'm just going to tell her.
...and tell her... that l... find her... attractive.
Good evening, Ms. Jordan.
How, How...How's it going?
Okay.
See you.
Yeah.
I'm going to fuck you so hard.
You'll be coming out of your ears... Fuck you...
Yeah.
I'll fuck you...l'll fuck you...
...l'll fuck you...really hard. So hard you won't even..
Hello
Hello, is this Claire?
Who is this?
Die, Aunt Joy! Die!
Timmy!
It's okay Trish.
He's just going through a phase. Leave him alone.
I know, but...
It's okay. I'm strong enough.
Oh, I blame it on cartoons. They are so full of violence
That's what you have to...Joy...Joy. What's the matter?
I don't know what it is, but I feel there's so much hostility directed at me.
Oh honey...did another guy dump you?
No! l...oh, I feel terrible.
Aww.
Timmy didn't mean it.
No, I know...l know...l'm sorry. I just...
I ...l'm overworked. That's all.
It's okay...it's okay. Cause now maybe you'll listen to me.
What?
You've got to eat red meat.
Oh... Trish..
Oh I knew that's how you'd react, but I'm telling you, it's true.
I've been watch you... My doctor says just once a month.
I know...
Really. It's the best thing for the skin. It'll clear it right up.
What's wrong with my skin?
Well it's fine now... but in another few years...
Please, Joy. You know I'm just speaking for your own good.
Oh, I know. I know. Thanks.
I'm so happy.
You are?
Yeah I mean being around you and the kids and you know kooki.
You really are?
Yeah.
Oh, honey...l'm so happy you're happy.
Cause all this time I've been thinking you were so miserable.
Oh, Trish! That's too funny, when I couldn't be happier.
You know...lt's just, what with your music career never really...
Oh, my career's fine!
Oh I know, I know, it will be! I just know it!
And then you'll move out of Mom and Dad's...
Real soon!
And you'll meet Mr. Right!
Oh, I will. Already I feel I'm off to a fresh start!
That's right. I mean... Just because you've hit 30 doesn't mean
... you can't be fresh anymore.
Uh-Huh.
You know...Joy, I've never told you this before...
...but now that we're older, and... ...l feel so bonded to you...
...well...the...the truth is...
I know this is going to sound horrible
...but I just feel I have to be fully open with you and just...
...get beyond all the old barriers, and the sibling nonsense you know l...
Oh, well, the truth is I always thought you would never amount to much.
That you'd end up alone, without a career or anything.
You know... Really, it's what we all thought.
Mom, Dad, Helen...everyone... I'd always prayed we'd all be wrong,
but...some how you always just seemed so...doomed to failure.
But now I see, that's not true.
There's a glimmer of hope for you after all.
But I'm sorry, I know I'm repeating myself...
I'm just really happy for you.
Oh...Trish.
And How is this different
I don't kill myself at the end.
Do you see this as something positive?
Gee, well...l...l don't know.
How do you feel at the end?
Much better.
I wake up...happy...feeling good...
but then I get very depressed because I'm... Iiving in reality.
And what about your family.
Trish is good to me.
But...still no sex.
No.but she's not too interested either, so Really...there's no problem there
...when you think about it... ...on a certain level.
Mom
Okay, kids get in the car.
Can we go for ice cream?
Sweetie.
Hey.
Hi hon, how was work today?
Oh, fine.
Hey, Billy!
What's going on?
Nothing
He's "depressed."
Well is anything the matter?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Ignore him. He's just doing it for attention.
He thinks you'll be impressed. As if...
So anyway...Joy came by today.
How's she doing?
Oh, god, I dunno, and frankly... I'm concemed.
I mean, she's not like me. You know she doesn't "have it all".
She pretends to be happy, but I can see right through her, she's miserable.
Why do you think that is?
Well to be frank, I think she's lazy.
She's not a go getter, like me or Helen.
And she's so picky.
I gave Damien Ross her phone number, for what it's worth, and...
Joy sounded interested, naturally, but...l dunno.
I'm afraid I have to say it, but truly its what I believe...
...she'll always be alone.
We're all alone.
Oh Bill...
...Sometimes I wonder how any of your patients can talk to you!
Sometimes I wonder if they'll ever stop.
I should tape some for you.
Oh Bill, would you?
Would you really? So that I could listen, too?
No.
Oh come on...You're such a tease.
You know I wouldn't tell anyone.
Right. Cause you're so secretive.
Well, maybe not as secretive as you.
What secret would you like me to tell you?
Like how come no mater how much you treat me like shit...
...l can't help loving you even more? I can't help loving you even
Dad?
Yes, Billy?
What does come mean?
Come?
You know...
Well...you know how sometime your penis gets erect...
well, sometimes it gets so excited that a sticky milky substance shoots out.
...Dickwad?
Yes only come can used as a ... ...verb as well.
Billy?
Yeah?
Have you ever come?
Yeah...
Now...Billy it's alright if you haven't.
But...l have ...
Billy...
But...everyone else in class has and ...l want to come, too!
Now...it's okay..it's okay... Have you tried...playing with yourself?
You mean...
With your penis.
A little.
How did it feel?
I dunno...l don't know what to do.
Do you want me to... show you?
No! No! I'm not normal.
Aw bi,,,Billy. Don't worry now. You're normal...
Hey, no. You'll come. One day.
You'll...see...
I'm turning on the dishwasher!
Where's my valium?
What?
Never mind!
Fucking asshole.
You answer it, Bastard.
Mona...it's Trish.
Hi, Trish!
Hi, Mom, How are you?
Oh. I'm fine. How are you?
Fine.
Good.
Did you watch Leno last night?
Mom?
He's leaving me! Your father's leaving me!
Mom, what are talking about?
Trish can you keep this secret? Top secret?
Yes, yes of course I can, Mom, but...
He says... he says he doesn't love me anymore.
Well, I'm sure he doesn't mean it.
Yes well, he does fucking mean it! He wants a divorce!
He said the word divorce?
What...You don't believe me? You talk to him! Okay Lenny!
Yeah?!
It's Trish! She wants to talk to you!
Yeah! Trish?
Is it true what Mom said?
What?
You want a divorce?
Mona! What are you telling the kids?
She'll call you back.
Did I use the word divorce?
You...You said you didn't want to live with me anymore!
Answer my question... did I use the word divorce?
You said that you didn't...
Did I use the word divorce?!
No.
Good.
I just want that clear... Now sit down next to me.
Come on. Sit down
Sit down.
Lenny...Why?
I dunno. I just want to be alone.
I can let you be alone more, if that's what you want...
It's not that...Things change... People change...l want out.
It's diane. Isn't it?
Diane?
You're in love with Diane Freed.
Oh get outta here, Please.
Well, you're in love with someone. And it's someone younger, probaly.
Wrong.
Lenny...it's okay. I'm not dumb. These things happen. I'll get over it.
You know I just wish you had done this twenty years ago.
Now I'll have to get another fucking face-lift.
I'm in love with no one.
With no one?
No one.
Okay, then.
You know people are always putting New Jersey down.
None of my friends can actually believe live here.
But they don't get it... I'm living in a state of irony.
Helen, are you sure you don't wanna come over and have dner with me tonight?
Oh, I can't. I giving another reading book-signing at Barnes & Noble...
...then lamal is taking me out... although I promised Flavio...
Uch. I hate Saturday nights Everybody wants me...Joy...
...you have no idea...
Oh I know it's just that I wrote a new song...
...and I thought maybe you'd come over and I'd play it for you and...
Oh, can you hold a second.
I'm sorry Joy hold on.
Hello. Oh, Salman. Hold one second. One second.
Joy, I'm sorry but I have to take this it's London.
But I'll talk to you soon now. Okay, bye. Bye.
By...Bye.
Hello? Hi! How are you?
Is this...Damien?
Yeah! Uh, how are you doing?
Fine...Trish told me you might be calling.
Yeah...well...uhm...
Well, I know how weird these things can be, but...you know
I've always had such faith in Trish's judgment that I thought why not.
You know it's not like I've got some huge social life.
I mean, I do have a social life. It's just not huge.
Same here.
Really? That's so nice to hear. Most people seem confident...
Yeah...
Or, or, or you know...you know. They're just real jerks...
Yeah...uh...what are you doing?
Oh, I'm sorry...l'm sorry, I'm just trying to thaw this steak...
...and it's so hard and I'm sorry.
Oh, no. No. Don't stop. Not because of me.
Well it's just I feel I'm being so rude.
No...no, not at all.
Thanks.
Ahh...are you alone?
Yeah. I'm all alone. Nobody's listening in.
Don't worry. God, you're just like.
Uh...What are you wearing?
You mean when we go out? Where do you want to go?
I mean I'm pretty east to please. I hate getting all dressed up.
What are you wearing now?
Oh just a pair of jeans. Why?
Are they tight?
Not too tight. Actually they fit pretty good...
But why do you wanna know...?
Not the jeans. Underneath, What are you wearing underneath? Check.
Underneath?
Well...but Damien, underneath is just... This isn't Dami
Are you all wet? ls your pussy all-wet?
Who is it?
It's your neightbor kristina.
Hey, what's up?
Did you hear what happened to Pedro?
Who's Pedro?
You know, the uhm...
Oh yeah. What?
He was found bludgeoned to death in his apartment this morning.
Uch.
Yeah. And supposedly, uhm...his penis...was missing.
Uugh.
Uhm, anyway, Carla in #2B, she's collecting money for the funeral...
...you know if you feel like it.
Apparently he had no family, no none friends...lf I'd known...
I did always say hi. I think.
Yeah me too...if it's the guy I'm thinking of....
Uhm...by the way, uhm...
I have an extra ticket to the play off tonight. Wanna come with me?
Nah. Ah Thanks I got, got too much work.
I just wanted to tell you about Pedro.
Thanks.
Okay, see you.
Yeah. Yeah.
It seems the things I've wanted in my life...l've never had.
And so it's no surprise that living only leaves me sad.
Happiness, where are you... I've searched so long for you.
Happiness where are you...
I haven't got a club.
Happiness, why do you have to stay so far away... from me.
When I'm in despair...and life has turned a mess ...
...l know that I don't dare to end my search for happiness.
Happiness where are you, l...
Hello?
Oh. Hello. This is detective Berman from the county Police Department.
I'd...l'd like to speak to Miss joy Jordan?
This is she.
Ma'am, ma'am I'm sorry... I'm sorry I've got another call.
Hello. Yeah, lieutenant. Hi, how are you doing?
They pronounced the guy DOA.
The door was locked on the inside all the property's here,suicde note.
Look like a pill odka OD...//with a bag over the head for a chaser.
Yeah. Hi, Miss Jordan, I'm back. I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Jordan...
...but I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.
It's regards an acquaintance of yours by the name of Andrew Kornbiuth.
Joy...are you okay?
Yeah...sure...l'm fine.
What's the matter?
Andy's dead!
Andy?
Yeah!
Who's Andy?
You know, the guy who used to work... right over there in that corner?
You mean where Pam is sitting?
Yeah!
Was he kind of tall and a little hunched?
No...he was a little shortish... ...a little squarish...
Joy, I'm not sure. Did he work here long?
Oh, a year, maybe a little longer...
Kay...Kay...Kay...
...do you remember a guy named Andy who used to work here...
...over where Pam is now?
No. Why? What happened?
He died.
Huh...Which one was he?
I'm not sure. Maybe Tom knows. Tom?
I'm sorry. I don't. But you know...
I do remember a guy who vaguely worked over there...
... I think... but you know I'm not really sure.
How did he die anyway?
Yeah, Joy how did he die?
Sales...may I help you?...
Is this Joy Jordan?
Yes. This is Andy's mother.
...l hope you fucking rot in hell.
Joy. Was he kind of Latino looking... and a little acne-scarred?
Oh, yeah, you know, like what's his name...you know...the actor.
Yeah. Sure. That was him.
That's him that's him that actor! Yeah.
What's the actor's name? What actor?
Oh, it has an A in it... ...it's, oh, you know...
Something something something he has
Three names....
Oh yeah, I know...
I can picture his face but I can't think of what he looks like.
Yeah..he's been in something... Yeah. Yeah well.
I...l... Yeah. That's it.
I can't think...l something.
If I go through the alphabet, I can usually picture their name.
Like, it's uhm...See, I do not remember.
Uch...l don't know why I suggested this place. Joy recommended it.
Well...at least we're together... I never get to see you, you're so busy.
You so busy.
No, you are No, you are No, you are...
Guess I am. Me too.
In fact, if I have to do one more interview...
I guess it's hard...all this success.
It's just I'm so tired of... of being admired all the time.
I mean all these men...they're... they're beautiful, artistic minds,
Great sex...the whole package...but hollow...you know what I mean?
...Nobody wants me...for me...
They're not family.
Oh, Trish. I wish I had your life... husband, kids, carpool...
Well, I may "have it all"...
...but you know sometimes I wonder what my life might have been like
if I'd actually...tried to write a novel.
I'm sure it would have been good.
Oh, maybe I will write one.
You should. Just try.
No I don't need that kind of success. No.
Listen to us...We who have everything while Joy ...
...what does she have?
You're so right... And she's just getting older.
Last night she called while I was in bed with Huraki...l think...
...she was in tears. She told me she'd quit her job...
Oh God no, but that's her lifeline!
She said she wanted to change her life.
Do good work with the poor, the needy.
I don't get it.
Don't even try. She doesn't understand...she is good
...She doesn't need to do good.
And what abut her music career?
I don't know, but don't hold your breath.
Listen anyway.
This is all top secret. She doesn't want anyone to know.
Oh! ...But she told you.
She felt she could trust me.
Cause I always thought I was someone that she could confide in.
Oh...did you speak to Mom?
You mean about the spilt up?
Oh...l thought that was all top secret.
Just for Joy...Sensitive Joy. Everyone else knows.
Oh.
Can I get ladies anything else? Coffee...dessert?
Oh, no thank you, just the check Please.
Thank you.
Thanks for lunch...l really enjoyed this.
Benefits, benefits, we want benefits Benefits, benefits, we want benefits
Benefits, benefits, we want benefits Benefits, benefits, we want benefits
You know, there are people in real need in there.
The fucking management is in there.
But what about the refugees?
What about our benefits?
I'm sorry I think you're all making a terrible mistake.
Fucking scab.
Scab...scab...scab....scab...scab..
Scab.
It's so sad. I mean, really it's pathetic. Such losers.
Really, I feel sorry for them.
What is it? What happened?
They called me a scab.
Oh...you are not a scab. You're a strikebreaker.
Good luck.
Hello. My name is Joy Jordan.
I'm your new teacher.
Now...
You are scab.
Where Marsha?
Marsha?
Well...Marsha
We want Marsha. We want Marsha! We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
We want Marsha. We want Marsha! We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
Quiet!
Thanks!
Please.
I am not a scab. I am a strikebreaker.
Go Billy! Alright...good job!
Come on Johnny! Come Johnny!
Don't fuck this up! Come on!
Come on Johnny! Come on! You can do it!
You sucked! You sucked! What the hell is wrong with you!
Bill, I dunno. Maybe I should talk to you.
You're supposed to be a specialist in these things, aren't you?
Well, I don't know. That depends...
Look...my son's a fag. I'm not blind to these things.
How come you're so sure he's gay?
What are you kidding?
Well...it's just sometimes... appearances can be deceiving.
And besides, even if you're right, there's not much you can do...is there?
What do you think would happen if I got him a professional you know.
A professional...?
Hooker. You know, the kind that can teach things...
first timers, you know...break him in
But Joe...he's is 1 1 .
Yeah you're right, you're right.
It's too late. He is ...what he is.
Forget I said anything.
Oh, dad could Johnny sleep over tonight?
Well, that's up to Joe here.
Daddy, may I please sleep over Billy's tonight?
Sure. Sure. Whatever
Yeah!!!
Like girls.
Come and get it!
Oh, Bill. You shouldn't have.
Here, take. You only live once.
Here Johnny.
No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
Aren't you having any?
Johnny hates chocolate fudge.
Well...there... is there something you'd like instead?
No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
What about to drink?
Leave him alone, honey. He's fine.
No, but there must be something...
Do you have any grape Hi C?
Do we, Trish?
I'm afraid not.
I'll go pick some up.
Bill don't be silly. He doesn't need anything. It's late.
Do you have any tuna salad?
Would you like a sandwich?
Yes, please.
We're going to bed, hon. Little Timmy can hardly keep his eyes open.
You boys don't stay up too late, huh.
Okay, just....
Here we are! Hey, what happened to Billy?
I don't know. I guess he just conked out.
Bed time for Billy.
Here we go. Here we go.
Aren't you going to eat the sandwich?
In a minute.
Take your time.
Is it...is your game almost over?
This is the bonus round.
I have...some cereal or a hot dog?
No thank you.
Dr. Maplewood...
Yeah.
...would it be alright if late this tomorrow?
Well..sure, but...l don't know if it's gonna taste any good tomorrow.
How is it?
Actually...it's really good.
Oh, Honey. I feel so good now.
Me too.
I don't think I've slept this well in so long.
Me neither.
It's weird. I feel as if we... ...Bill, did we? Did you...Did l...?
Yes.
I don't remember...
It's alright. It doesn't matter.
It matters.
Forget about it.
Okay.
It's funny, I remember I was dreaming ...and you were there...
...and Billy...and Timmy and Chloe ...and Johnny Grasso...
Uhm.
I can't really remember anything more ...except...l don't know.
Uhm.
Bill. Please don't get mad at me... I know you hate it when I ask.
Do you still...?
Yes. Very, very much.
Oh, Bill...l do too! I do too! I'm sorry I need to keep being reminded
...it's just...that...
I know. I know.
And we haven't been...
I know. I know. And it's my fault.
No, honey, it's my fault No l...
I know. I know. I know.
DIE...DIE...DIE...DIE...DIE...
Stop it!
Where's Billy?
Watching TV!
How come you two aren't playing together?
I don't know. Billy just said he didn't feel like it.
Uhm.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes?
Can you drive me home now?
Well...sure, but...aren't you having a good time?
I'm not feeling very well.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
Oh...Oh...alright....
I'll take you home. Oh...uhm...
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes. Johnny?
I'm sorry I threw up.
Don't worry about it.
Cause I really had a good time.
Good. Billy did too. We all did.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes Johnny?
You're so cool.
Dad?
Yes, Billy?
I was kind of wondering.
Yes?
Nothing.
Did you have fun with Johnny?
Yeah...lt was okay. He's a little girlish, though.
Oh. Yes.
Dad, do...do you know how many inches... ...your penis is?
You know, I never measured.
Cause Ronald Farber said his penis is eleven inches long.
Do you think that's possible?
What Ronald Farber doesn't know... that it's not length that matters
...it's width.
Why?
Things...get...a little more intense.
What do you mean...intense?
Have you been...practicing?
Yeah. But...it's no use. Nothing comes.
You have to patient. Your friend Ronald Farber...
I can assure you, is full of crap.
Yeah. I bet yours is a lot wider ...and longer.
Do you want me to measure?
Nah, that's okay.
Hi. Ann Chambeau.
Oh. Mona Jordan.
Wonderful. Come this way.
Okay.
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long.
Can I get you some coffee or tea?
Oh no, thanks.
Okay. Now then. How can I help you?
Oh, um...You said that... ...there might be something available
over in Elysian Fields?
We actually, we have several places we can see there.
But first I need to get a bit of information from you.
Are you looking for a one? Two? Or three-bedroom?
Three.
Wonderful.
Is this then for you and your husband?
No.
Just yourself then?
Yes.
No children?
All my children are grown.
No pets.
No. So really then just you alone all by yourself?
Yes.
Wonderful.
Mrs. Jordan? ls something the matter?
My husband is leaving me.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You know... we have a lot of divorcees in Phase IV.
Would like to see something there... ...perhaps a bit smaller?
Why said I was getting divorced?
What you need is a fresh start.
Yes...that's what I'm looking for.
You know, I'm a divorcee.
Oh?
And I live in Phase IV.
Oh, I am so sorry.
Mrs. Jordan?
Mona.
Mona. That's a beautiful name.
Er...thank you.
How long were you married?
Forty years.
You know, Mona. I... I think we have a lot in common.
Probably more than you realize.
See, I know what you're going through. I've been there.
But I'd like to share a little secret with you.
Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Really.
Don't worry. She's the exception to the rule.
Most everyone here is much more youthful.
Are you sure?
Look...let me show something... you see this?
You're the picture of health.
No tumors?
Nope.
...How's the heart?
Like an ox Lenny. You're gonna live to be a hundred.
So I still have another 35 years.
Just stay off the salt!
You bet!
Hi, Lenny. Hello Diane.
Mind if I join you.
No.
No thanks.
How's Mona.
She's fine.
She's inside on such a beautiful day?
I dunno.
What do you mean you don't know?
I don't know.
Whatever. So how are your girls?
Fine I guess.
The grandchildren coming to visit soon?
I dunno.
Look ,Lenny, I think you ought to know, I heard about you and Mona. What?
About you getting divorced. I'm really sorry.
We're not getting divorced.
Divorced. Separated. Whatever, it doesn't matter. You're along now.
Anyway...if you ever need anyone to talk to you know where to find me.
Ugh...everything I write so shallow ...superficial.
Can't anyone see through my work?
It's inherent phoniness. Rape at 1 1 ...Rape at 12...
...what the hell do I know about rape? I've never been raped.
I'm just another sordid exploitationist.
Oh...if only I'd been raped as a child then I would know authenticity...
...but instead...AGHHHHHH!
I'm no good! No good! Nothing! Nothing!
Zero! Zero!....
Hello?
I know who you are and you are nothing.
You think you are fucking something, but you are fucking nothing.
You are empty. You are a zero. You are a black hole...
...and I am going to fuck you so hard you're gonna be comong out of your ears
Data Resources.
Who are you?
What do you want?
I want you to fuck me.
I...um...
I don't think I can do that...
I mean. Yeah... I don't think I can do that.
Gotta go.
Call me tomorrow.
...Allright.
Hey, Allen... did you see the play-offs last night?
Yeah, yeah, pretty good! Pretty good!
I was on my knees praying for that shot.
It worked.
Who is it?
Who is it?
It's uh...me. Kristina.
Hey...how's it going?
Okay. Umm...uh, I have some more information about Pedro.
Pedro?
Yeah, you know...the, uh...
Oh, yeah. What?
Um...well...
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
No.
Wait. ...Here...okay.
...Pussy...Need pussy...
What the fuck are you doing here?
Get out!
Get out! Get out!
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! I am Vlad! Your student!
Oh, hello, Vlad. How are you?
I am fine. How are you?
Oh, fine...fine.
I not believe you.
Really, Vlad. I'm fine!
I'm sorry... it's just I'm a terrible teacher...
...and everyone hates me and I really should have never left telephone sales
...because I was really doing a lot more good then.
Where you are go now?
Oh, I'm just on my way home.
Tell me where do you live I take you home.
Oh, no, I couldn't.
Joy. Come in my cab. I give you ride.
Vlad, no. I like walking. And the train is right nearby.
No.
No train. I drive you home.
Vlad. I live in new Jersey!
Good. I take you New Jersey.
No, maybe you don't understand. New Jersey is far.
Joy. You not understand. Huh?...l driver. My taxi. You come.
You understand? You come.
Are you sure you know...?
Vlad knows.
I love New Jersey.
Don't you miss Russia?
Fuck the cunt of Russia.
Well, I guess it's best to feel that way.
Well, thank you for everything. That really was very nice of you.
I'm sorry about before... that was very unlike me...
Do you think you'll need help finding your way back?
Why you not married?
Oh...
...Vlad.
Our...life is so different in America.
Here a woman can I know this is difficult to understand-but...
...a woman can fulfill her potential. Um...
there are opportunities to do something um do go really improve the world...
Do you like men?
Yeah...Yes...but it's not so simple.
Are you lesbian?
No.
It's alright...if you are lesbian. I like lesbian.
Vlad I'm sorry. But um this conversation as become a bit strange for me.
So thank you for the ride, and...um...and l.
Well...then...good night...and uh...l'll see you in...
Scab...Scab...Scab...Scab...Scab ...Scab...Scab...Scab..
Good morning.
So how's it going?
Oh, hi...Rhonda!
Your students treating you okay?
Oh...they're just...great!
You know, I haate to have to say this but I told you so.
How about you? How's your class?
Oh, my students are such a hoot... they're always telling me
how much they love me. Actuall...if you can keep a secret.
There's this one lgor I've got such a crush on...
Oh?
Well not that I'd ever... I mean, especially the Russians...
What?
"B.O."
Really? Mine seem okay...
Well. Then, you're lucky.
Rhonda?
Yeah?
If your lgor...Used deodorant...
You teacher Vlad?
Yes.
Whore!
Let her go...get her out of here.
Oh my...God! That woman was crazy! Joy, are you okay?
Yeah...l'm fine...Thank you...
Joy...you didn't...did you?
Mom? Yeah? There's blood in my BM. Can I stay home from school today?
How are you feeling?
Okay.
You sure?
Yeah. I feel fine.
Maybe a little sore. But... I'm ready to go back to school.
Oh...That's good! Johnny.
Johnny, I have to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?
Yeah.
When did you first start feeling sick?
Yesterday.
What happened?
I threw up at my friend's house.
Johnny...he spent the night there.
I thought he had a little virus.
Did you eat anything unusual Johnny?
Just a tuna sandwich.
He loves tuna salad.
I see. Johnny... when did you first notice the blood?
When I went to the bathroom this morning.
Johnny I have to ask you a question.
It's very important that you be honest...Okay?
Uh-huh.
Johnny was there...in the last day or two someone who hurt you?
No...l...l don't think so.
But someone did hurt you. No, Johnny?
No. No one hurt me.
Whadya mean no?! You've been fucking raped!!!
Sorry.
More potatoes, Bill?
No thanks. Mmm, I got pleanty.
The baby-sitter should be here any minute now.
When does the PTA start?
Mmm, we've still got about half an hour.
So...how did school go today?
Okay.
Was Johnny there?
No. Oh...l sure hope you kids don't catch whatever he's got.
Very funny, Timmy.
And now you are excused and can go right to bed.
But Mom!
Yeah...Excuse me, Bill.
Hello?
Hi Tawny...is...is there a problem?
Well, thank you for giving me so much notice...well...Umm, uhu...
Yeah sure. I'm sorry, too.
Uhu. Well maybe you could have thought of that before...bye-bye.
Bill, I'm sorry you're going to have to go by yourself tonight.
Isn't there anyone else you can get?
No, not at this late hour.
Oh, come on...
Now you're going to come with me ...right now...and take abath.
But I'm not...finished!
Yes you're finished, let's go.
Wait...My Tamagatchi...l have to get my Tamatgatchi.
Come on, up, up... Mister let's go up the stairs...
...come on Timmy please come on.
Don't make me punish you let's go. Come on. You want to be grounded?
Dad?
If you and Mom died in a plane crash would it be alright if I took over?
Well...probably one of your aunts would want to help out.
So...you don't think I'm old enough to take care of myseif Timmy and Chole.
Well...no.
Ronald Farber's parents are away in Europe for a few day...
...and Ronald gets to stay home alone by himself without a bay sitter.
Why do I need a baby-sitter?
Well... if you want to change Chloe's diapers...
Well...if I didn't have any little brother or sister...
...would you let me stay alone by myself for a few days?
Your Mom and I are not Mr. and Mrs. Farber.
We worry. So...no...
What if I were 12?
No.
13
At 13...l think you'll be okay.
Can you promise?
As long as you don't still look like you're 1 1 .
I won't.
Okay. 13 then.
Hello, in Roseland, please.
I'm looking for the address of a resident. The name is Farber...
...Angel Court?...Thank you.
Hon, is that you?
Yeah.
You remember the milk?
Yeah.
How was the meeting?
It was fine.
Bill are you alright?
I think I have to lie down.
Oh, shit.
I hope you're not coming down with whatever that Johnny Grasso had.
I don't think so.
Be up in a minute.
Dad?
Yeah?
I...l...almost came.
Trish?...
...Trish?
...Mmmyeah?
Do you love me?
Oh, Bill...
Yes.
No, I mean...do you really love me? No matter what.
No matter what...what?
No matter...whatever....
Bill you have me. You always will.
I'm sick...
Awww...Honey. Take some Tylenol. You'll feel better tomorrow.
I met with Steven Zimmer this morning.
You like him?
Yeah. I'm gonna use him.
Good. I'm gonna use Marty Blau.
Good. I feel so much better now.
Well good. It shouldn't take too long. Goodnight.
Lenny?
Yeah?
Can you sleep on the living room couch?
Why?
Steven Zimmer thought it would be a good idea.
Okay.
Gin and Tonic?
Ok. Thanks.
God. It's so bright outside... ... it gives me a headach
just looking out that window.
Yeah well they say it's gonna rain tomorrow.
I don't wanna talk about the fucking weather.
Well it's good for playing golf.
I hate that game. It's so boring.
It passes the time.
I like to travel.
Yeah I went to Europe once.
Have you ever been to Tahiti?
NO.
How about Tunissia? A night in Tunisia?
No...no...
Vincent never liked to travel.
I guess I'm like Vincent.
You know when I was a child I'd always imagined that...
I'd marry the man I fell in love with have a son and a daughter who loved
as much as I hated my mother.
Then die, tragically and suddenly-young and beautiful.
When Vincent left me I imagined I'd finally be happy.
I guess you haven't lost your imagination.
Lenny I gotta get outta here. I can't breath.
All the women are pathetic gossips and the men are ....
Just pathetic.
I don't wanna die here.
You just don't want to die.
Not alone.
I have to sea you.
Who is it?
It's um...Kristina.
I'm sorry about last night.
Yeah. Uh Me too. I...l shouldn't have...Umm...
I understand. I mean...See I can, I can admit it. That I'm fat and I'm ugly
No, no...
Yes....yes....
Thank you. Say you wanna go somewhere?
I like you.
I have a confession to make.
What?
Do you remember Pedro's penis?
Yeah, you mean, the one that...that was...cut off?
Yeah, uh well it wasn't really cut off.
What happened to it?
Nothing.
I-l umm...l don't understand. Umm....
...why would you make something like that up?
Was Pedro even killed?
How do you...How do you know?
I tried so many times to tell you but it's hard to umm..
I'd always been very friendly to him.
And well...l try to be that way with all the doormen...
even though they're usually snickering behind my back.
I don't care, I'm still friendly. t's my way.
But, umm...Pedro was different. Pedro never snickered.
Of course, who was he to snicker? He wasn't exactly Tom Cruise.
Still he could have but he didn't. So, anyway, on night.
I was coming home from the 24-hour Pathmark..lt was late...
Good evening. Miss Hope.
Hi, Pedro. Can you help me with these bags?
No problem.
Thank you.
Normally I don't need any help...
But my back hurt because the bags were heavy. And I had a...
Half-gallon of strawberry ice cream two boxes of fudge, and a key lime pie
And uh, I just couldn't wait to get home and get...
under the covers and watch TV.
But umm...it was in the elevator that I first got a funny feeling...
Iike he was umm you know kind of looking at me, kind of funny...
And I thought maybe he was just being friendly too...l mean...
you know just umm...two friendly people.
Umm...would you mind putting those in the kitchen for me?
No problem.
Thanks so much, Pedro.
No Problem.
Oh...l'm so sorry.
Forget about that.
What I'd like is a scoop of your ice cream before I go back down.
Oh sure...please have a seat.
My wife died three years ago, I feel so lonely.
You are a beautiful woman Kristina you are so beautiful Kristina.
No.
...and next thing I the know he was inside me you know just pounding
Oh, Allen!
All finished?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so.
Would you like to see a dessert menu?
What kind of ice cream do you have?
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Umm...Okay then, I'll just have a plain chocolate fudge sundae
with strawberry ice cream. Thank you.
And you, Sir?
Oh, just the check, please.
So anyway, everything got really quiet
...and I thought, well... you know at lest the worst is over.
How do you like it?
Kiss me again.
But that was just an act.
I let him kiss me one last time...
And then Grabbed a hold of his neck and ...twisted it...backward.
Here you are.
Thank you.
And then I had to cut up his body, you know...plastic bag all the parts
I've been throwing it out gradually ever since.
There's still some left in my freezer.
So you did cut off his...
No. I left it attached. I didn't want to have to touch it again.
I feel so terrible.
You must think I'm a monster. But what else could I have done?
Anyway...l couldn't help myself.
I hate sex...
I'm sorry, but just the idea of it of you know someone all overe inside me.
I know it isn't right but ... Can we still be friends?
Um...l guess...Yeah...umm I mean... we all have our you know...
...our pluses...and...minuses...
It was a crime of passion.
I'm a passionate woman.
I've had you on auto-redial all night.
Hello?
Yes?
I'm the...l'm...l'm...
I'm sorry?
Come in.
Okay.
Please have a seat.
Drink?
No...thanks.
This is not working.
No.
You're not my type.
NO.
Can I come in?
I'm sorry...l wanted to...umm...Here....
Vlad!
Come inside.
Please.
Spaceebo.
Joy.
Why you are come here?
I came because I wanted to say. That I was sorry to your wife.
Zhenia is not my wife.
So you're not really married?
She want be my wife, but she don't listen.
What can I do? What can I do?
Come. You want I drive you New Jersey? We go shopping mall?
No, thank you. I don't think that's really...
Joy. I must ask you question.
Yes?
But I very ashamed.
I'm sure I'll understand.
Good.
Can I borrow money?
It is very important.
How much?
One thousand dollars.
Alright. Five hundred. I need money now.
I, I guess I can go to the cash machine
Good I know where is ATM.
Vlad?
Yes?
Could l...first have my guitar and my CD player back?
Okay. It is deal.
Do you think shopping mall in New Jersey is open tonight?
Yeah. Probably.
Here.
Joy.
I love you.
You love New Jersey.
I give you beck Monday.
That's okay. Uh...l probably won't be there anyway.
Why no?
I don't know...
I think...now I have more sympathy for the strikers.
See you.
Stupid American.
So Billy... how was school today?
Okay.
Ronald Farber was absent.
Oh?
He was afraid of the math test.
So he stayed home?
Yeah. He cut.
That's terrible. His paents...
Umn...They don't know yet. They're still on vacation.
Oh, are they gonna be upset.
Well...Ronald's gonna be pretty upset when he finds out the test was cancel
What happened?
Mrs. Paley was absent also.
Oh, gee!
Did you call Ronald and tell him?
Yeah, but... but... there was no answer.
So was Mrs. Paley sick, then?
Well...everyone said she was just too strung out.
Now why do people say things like that?
Because she's a drug addict.
And how do you know?
Mom. Everyone knows.
Well, I didn't know. Did you know, Bill?
No.
Muh...you got that, Billy
Well...lt's what everyone says: she's a junkie.
And she's probably gonna get fired. It's really sad.
Well if Mrs. Paley turns out, if fact, to be a junkie, then...
she should be fired. Don't you think so, Bill?
I don't know. Don't you think that's a little harsh?
I mean if it's not affecting her work
Well,apparently it is.
And no, in fact, I don't think it's a little harsh at all.
I'm sorryu, but when it come to drug abuse...and children, my children...
Uch, they should all just be locked up and throw away the key.
And Billy, I want you to know something, if you ever even t
think of doing drugs, and end up dying in a hospital...l'd disown you.
That's how strongly I feel about it.
Trish.
Now I know, Bill, I may sound harsh, but we're talking about our kids.
Not to be too grandiose, but this is the future...
the future of our country we're talking about, after all
I'll get it.
Hello...who's calling, please?...
Oh, hi...sure, hold on...
It's Joe Grasso.
Oh...great! Thanks!
Hey, Joe! What's up? How's Johnny doing?
You're a dead man.
Oh good...good...No problem!...
Right ...Okay. Well, take care...Bye!
How's Johnny doing?
Oh, fine...fine! Never better!
Good.
We should have bought those Beauty and the Beast tickets for this Saturday.
and I don't think Billy has no one else
No, no....he didn't cancel...
OH, now who could that be?
I'll get it.
Who is it?
Police.
Can I help you?
Are you William Maplewood?
Yes.
We're sorry to disturb you but we have some questions for you and your wife.
It has to do with your son's friend, Johnny Grasso.
Did something...?
Ummm...Come this way.
Go ahead please.
Thank you.
Sit...please.
Bill, who is it?
We're just finishing dinner ummm... I-l'll be right back
The police.
You take care of the kids.
Sorry. Now...you said something about Ronald Farber?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry...l mean...l mean, Johnny Grasso?
Okay, Honey, here we go. The bus is here lets go...l know...
Mom, I don't wanna go! Honey not todaylets go.
Well be right there...Billy. Come on the bus is here.
I don't want to go. I want to stay home! Come on honey please not today.
Mom, I don't wanna...l wanna stay...! Wait uh...oh...
I wanna stay home!
Wait!!! Alright, I'll take you boys myself.
Dad?
Yes,Billy?
Everyone at school is saying things about you.
Who is everyone?
Like kids. You know. Everyone.
What are they saying?
That...you're...a serial rapist.
Oh.
And a pervert.
You mean... Iike what they painted on the house.
Ummm...Dad did...did you um...with Johnny Grasso and Ronald Faber...?
Yes.
What did you do?
I touched them...
Whadya mean exactly...touched?
I...l fondled them.
What for?
I couldn't help myself.
What else?
I...unzipped myself...
You...You mean...masturbated?
No.
Then...what?
I...made love...What...do you mean?
I fucked them.
What was it like?
It was...it was great.
Would you do it again?
Yes.
Would...would you ever...fuck me?
No...l'd jerk of instead.
Mommy, I'm, I don't wanna go, let me go ...Ma, don't want to go...
Shh! Just get in the cat.
My Tamatgatchi! My Tamatgatchi!
So who used to live here before?
Another couple...the Heller's.
What happened to them.
They got divorced.
...Anyway, so the police came and looked in her freezer.
...and found baggies filled with the doorman's genitals.
I use baggies.
Me too.
Everyone uses baggies. That's why we can all relate to this crie/
Don't you see?
I can't relate to it.
In any case there's this guy I've met, Joy that I think you'd like.
He's into computers I think.
How did you met him?
He's a neighbor of mine.
Do you wanna call him, or should I give him your number?
I'll call him.
That would be, great. I think he'd really like that.
What about me?
I'm looking, I'm looking.
I like computerss.
Trish...trust me on this one not for you. And what about me?
I haven't forgotten, Mom. It's just it's hard.
But I'm looking for everyone.
Well, don't look for me.
Have you found somebody?
No there's no one.
I heard Diane had a stroke.
She'll recover.
Umm...that's good.
Where there's life there's hope.
That's right.
You bet.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Could you pass over the sweet potatoes, please?
Here.
Hey, did anyone watch Leno last night?
Timmy, Oh Timmy Timmy come over and sit on Grandma's lap Timmy, Timmy, what?
Timmy.
What's the matter with Timmy?
His Tamatgatchia died.
Tamatgatchia.
Helen so what's going to happen now to that woman who killed your doorman?
I don't know. Mom.
It's so sad. She's all alone. I wish I'd gotten to know her better.
We might have found we had something in common.
Maybe you'll write a poem about her.
Joy...l'm sorry.
But...don't worry. I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing with you.
But I'm not laughing.
Let's make a toast.
To happiness. To happiness! To happiness!
Kooki! Kooki
I...l ...l came!
H
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Himalaya - lenfance dun chef
Himmelfall
Hip Hip Hora! (Hip Hip Whore)
Hiroshima Mon Amour - Criterion Collection
Hiroshima Mon Amour 1959
Hiroyuki Sanada - Twilight Samurai 2002 CD1
Hiroyuki Sanada - Twilight Samurai 2002 CD2
His Girl Friday
His Secret Life
His brother 2003
Histoire D O (1975)
Histoire de Pen
Historias Minimas (2002)
History of the World The - Part I
Hitcher II - I have been waiting
Hitcher The
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 1
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 2
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 3
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 4
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 5
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy The - Episode 6
Hitlerjunge Salomon - Europa Europa
Hitman
Hitokiri Tenchu 1969 CD1
Hitokiri Tenchu 1969 CD2
Hobbit The
Hocus Pocus
Hole The
Hole in the Head A
Holes CD1
Holes CD2
Hollow Man
Hollow The (2004)
Hollywood Ending CD1
Hollywood Ending CD2
Hollywood Homicide 2003 CD1
Hollywood Homicide 2003 CD2
Holy Man
Holy Matrimony (1994)
Holy Smoke CD1
Holy Smoke CD2
Hombre
Home Alone 1990
Home Alone 2 - Lost in New York
Home Alone 3
Home Alone 4
Home At The End Of The World A
Home On The Range
Home from the Sea
Homem Que Copiava O 2003 CD1
Homem Que Copiava O 2003 CD2
Homerun CD1
Homerun CD2
Homme-orchestre L (Serge Korber 1970)
Homolka a Tobolka
Honest 2000
Honey
Honeymoon Killers The
Honkytonk Man
Hororr hotline (2001)
Horse Whisperer The CD1
Horse Whisperer The CD2
Horseman on the Roof The
Horses Mouth The
Hostile Waters 1997
Hot Chick The
Hot Wheels World Race CD1
Hot Wheels World Race CD2
Hound of Baskervilles The
Hour of the Wolf
Hours The
House By The Cemetary The
House Of The Spirits CD1
House Of The Spirits CD2
House With The Windows That Laugh
House of 1000 Corpses
House of Frankenstein
House of Games (1987)
House of Mirth The
House of Sand and Fog 2003 CD1
House of Sand and Fog 2003 CD2
House of flying daggers
House of the Dead
House of the Flying Daggers
Houseboat
How Green Was My Valley
How High
How The West Was Won 1962 CD1
How The West Was Won 1962 CD2
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
How to Beat the High Cost of Living
How to Keep My Love 2004
How to Murder Your Wife 1965
How to Steal a Million CD1
How to Steal a Million CD2
How to deal
Howards End
Hratky s certem
Hudsucker Proxy The
Hulk The - Special Edition
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Hum Kaun Hai
Hum Tum
Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam
Human Beast The CD1
Human Beast The CD2
Human lanterns
Hunchback of Notre Dame II The
Hunchback of Notre Dame The
Hundstage
Hundtricker the movie
Hungama
Hunger The 1983
Hunt For Red October CD1
Hunt For Red October CD2
Hunted The
Hunter The
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD1
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD2
Huozhe CD1
Huozhe CD2
Hurricane 1937
Hurricane The CD1
Hurricane The CD2
Hyojadongibalsa 2004
Hypnosis (Saimin 1999)
Hypnotic Doctor Sleep
Hypnotist The 1999
Hypnotized The
Hypo-Chondri-Cat The (1950)