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Heartbreakers CD1

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Do you, Angela Nardino...
take Dean Cumanno as your|lawfully wedded husband...
to love, honor, and obey|till death do you part?
I do.
Out of the tree of life,|I just picked me a plum
You came along,|and everything started to hum
You happy, Baby?
I am so happy.|It's beautiful, Dean.
It's everything|I ever wanted.
Yeah?
Like the song says,|"The best is yet to come."
The honeymoon.
Oh, you got a little|bit of cake right...
I think we've put in enough of|an appearance here, don't you?
Come on, let's go.
I believe it's tradition|for the best man to dance...
with the beautiful bride.
Piss off, Leo.
Dean, you can't be|rude to your friends.
I'd love to dance with you.
The best is yet to come,|come the day you're mine
Come fly with me,|let's fly, let's fly away
Just say the words,|and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect for|a flying honeymoon
They say, come fly with me,|let's fly, let's fly away
Congratulations, man.|She's great.
I love your friends.
That's the busboy, honey.
Wow.
You even got me great busboys.
Now let's have one more|dance with the bride and groom.
Oh! Ha ha ha!
Are you still nervous?
No.
And thank you for respecting|my religious beliefs.
-I'm really ready now.|-Thank you, God!
I'm ready to do things to you...
that no woman has|ever done before.
How about a...
Oh.
Here it is.
Oh, it's so...
tasteful.
Oh, my God.
That's how much|I love you, baby.
You must love me...
a lot.
Take me, Dean.
Don't tease me.
I'm not...
Not a big fan|of this material.
Oh.
Angela?
Angela!
Oh, no.
Don't do this to me, Angela.
Welcome back.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
Not a whole hell of a lot.
Oh, my God.|Are you kidding me?
Our wedding night?
Oh, I am a bad wife.
No.
No, no, no.
I do got some frostbite|in some very weird places.
Oh--
You've got your whole|life to make it up to me.
And I'm going|to start right now.
Yeah? OK.
Oh!
Ohhh!
Oh, my God,|I'm going to be sick.
Just give me a minute, baby.|I'll be right back.
No, no, no.|There's no rush.
No rush.
Look, I got to stop|by the office...
before we leave|for Barbados any way.
That'll give you some|time to freshen up.
Let me give you|a quick kiss good-bye.
No! No, no, no.|That's OK, that's OK.
I--I'm late.
I'll see you in|an hour, maybe two.
Here. Put it|over here on the rack.
Hey! What the--?
-Nice security.|-Sorry, boss.
I--I went to bed|late last night.
But nothing|compared to you, huh?
Yeah. Is the Mercedes ready?
Yeah, yeah, just about.
We switched the VIN,|and Wendy's making...
the pink slip for|you to sign up there.
All right.
That's a great|wedding present, boss.
Angela's going to go|nuts for it, huh?
Maybe not as nuts as|she went last night, huh?
Huh?
Hey, boss, was|she worth the wait?
Come on--
Hey, hey, hey!
We're talking|about my wife here.
A man's wedding night is his|own private, sacred business.
It's not to entertain|lowlife scum like youse guys.
Angela's got|to be an animal.
Hey, he's even|walking funny, huh?
Hey, back to work, all right.
The break is over,|guys, come on.
Oh! Congratulations, Mr. C.
I heard the wedding|was awesome.
I'm almost through with|the docs on the Mercedes.
Oh, thanks, Wendy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
You need to sign|here and I think...
here.
Is it hard?
What?
Getting married.
I mean, I haven't|been here that long...
but I've already|heard tons of stories...
about you and women.
Yeah, well.
Those days are all over, Wendy.
Forever.
Thank you.
Ah, damn it.
Here. Let me help you.
Mr. Cumanno.
I'm sorry.|I'm so sorry, Wendy.
I--I'm so sorry,|I'm just nuts today.
I can't,|I can't, I can't.
I'm married, Wendy...
I'm married.|I can't.
You're right.|I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Screw it.
Oh, yeah.|Oh, yeah. OK, OK.
Oh, my God.
Thanks.
Is that frostbite?
I'm fine. It's fine.
Piss off,|I'm working here.
Baby, it's me.
Shit. Get out.|Take the back stairs.
I can't.|My hair is stuck.
What?
-Dean.|-Honey.
Ahh, ha, hi.
I was feeling|so much better...
I couldn't|wait to pick up...
where we left off.
Oh, that's great.|That's great.
You know what?
I'm just going|to finish up here.
I'll meet you outside|in a sex--a sec.
OK.
I love you.
Oh.
I love you, too.
You look pretty.
Come on.
Come on. Ow.
Get out.|Not so fast.
You are not|welcome down there.
Get up.|I'm trying.
I can't|believe that Mercedes...
Dean.
Honey, honey, this|isn't what it looks like.
I--I swear her hair|got stuck in my zipper.
I--I--I wasn't getting nothing.
17 hours we have|been married.
17 hours!
The happiest|17 hours of my life.
You just lost the best|thing you'd ever had.
Angela, wait.
She seems...
nice.
My client has agreed,|against my advice...
to settle for|a one-time cash payment.
$300,000.
For one day?
One horribly traumatic day|in which my client suffered...
irreparable psychological|damage to her self-esteem.
Oh, and she keeps|the Mercedes.
What?
Bullshit.
Well, we could drag this|before a judge...
if you think that|would be more favorable.
That would put your client's|business under scrutiny.
What was it again, Mr. Cumanno?
Random repossessions?
Give her what she wants.
I can't believe you|wore the grey dress.
I distinctly said the blue.
-It worked, didn't it?|-You were lucky.
I was good.
Excuse me.
I wonder if I could ask|your help for a moment.
I'm trying to find Route 40.
Route 40?|Well, you're on it.
That's it.
What?|Where is it?
There. See that black thing...
with the lines on it,|the cars going?
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know|where it was.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Sorry to trouble you.
It's OK.
Forget it.
You're not going|to kill yourself...
and stink up my new car.
Our new car.
Hey! Mom.
I only do these things|because I love you, Page.
How was the wedding?
Beautiful.
Like all my weddings.
Have you any idea|what that meat...
is doing to your arteries?
Haven't you heard?
Cigarettes|dissolve cholesterol.
No cards, Page.
This is a classy place.
It relaxes me.
So? How did we do?
Not too bad.
How not too bad?
About 80.
Plus the car.
That's it?
For that I lived 4 months in|a crap hotel without cable?
Ugh, I'm so sick of this|small-time bullshit.
Plus, I had to kiss|that greasy mook.
Dean wasn't so bad.
Any way, we’ll make more|in the next one.
I'm thinking Seattle.
Maybe San Francisco.
Mom, remember our deal?
OK, there is no next one.
This is it.|I'm going solo.
Oh, here we go--
It's happening, Mom.|Accept it, embrace it, OK?
I am old enough|to be on my own.
You have no idea what it's like|to be all alone.
I'll tell you exactly|what's going to happen.
You'll go off,|you'll get lonely.
Some moron hunk will come along,|you'll think it's true love.
You'd never been so sure|of anything in your life.
And then, bam.
He will pull a|conceive and leave...
and then it's my|life all over again.
Mom, I am not that stupid.
You know what I mean.
Well, you’re right.|I was stupid.
And it left me|pregnant and alone.
If Barbara hadn't taken me in|and shown me the con--
And you taught me.
OK? I'll be fine.
OK. Fine.
If you've made up your mind...
we will go to New York|and divide up everything.
I'll get the check.
Oh, my Lord!
Eww.
What seems to be|the problem, madam?
Well, I was just about|to take a bite...
and I saw glass. Look.
I am so sorry, ma'am.|This has never happened.
Of course your meal|is, uh, complimentary.
Armando, a bottle|of wine, quickly.
Perhaps a '69 Merlot.
Those shoes|are so wrong for this.
Thanks.
I don't understand|the problem, Philip.
We deposit our money...
and you give it back|when we say so.
I'm afraid it's not that|simple, Ms. Conners.
Hello.|I'm Gloria Vogal.
I.R.S.
Hello.
Oh, I see you've|heard of us.
I'm surprised because|we so seldom hear from you.
Well, I suppose|I might be a little late...
with this year's return.
Maybe even the last 7.
Mother, I'm stunned.
I had no idea you would|evade your responsibilities...
as a U.S. Citizen.
Shut up, Miss Conners.
We've never seen|a dime from you, either.
Look, I know|what must have happened.
You see, I always|assumed that my returns...
were filed by my husband.
Oh...
which one?
Look, just because|I've had some trouble...
with my personal|relationships--
Ms. Conners...
how you earn your money is|of no interest to the I.R.S.
Now, how can I put this in|language you'll understand?
We just want our cut.
How much?
With interest and penalties,|the total comes to $247,811.
What?
Oh, no, no,|no, no, no.
Ha ha! I'm afraid|that amount is in addition...
to what used to be|in your accounts.
Your latest divorce settlement|arrived this morning.
Thanks.
But that's everything.
It's not all bad.
We give you a full|90 days to pay.
Or...
we move forward|with criminal charges...
for felony tax|evasion and fraud.
Good luck.
Here's the last of our cash.
1,150...
1,170...
1,190.
That's $1,300 each.
Wow. Have a nice life|with that, Princess.
-I'll economize.|-Sure.
You can do your own hair,|your own nails.
They actually have some|great shoes at Wal-Mart.
Ugh! All right.
One more con,|but only if we do it right.
What does that mean?
It means no more|small-time crap.
It has to be big.
One big final score|to pay off the l.R.S...
and set me up on my own.
What are you talking about?
Palm Beach.
Palm Beach?
Forget it.
People that rich are|already suspicious.
It's too hard to play.
Palm Beach or nothing.
Too expensive.
Let's find something else.
I am home.
Now, what’s the best way|to get a room?
I was thinking|the Trogdon Triangle.
Right. But where are|we going to find...
a trumpet and a talking parrot?
I was thinking of|something simple, traditional.
The Flopper Diver.
No way am l--
Oh!
Oh, my God.
She's cracked|her head open.
Oh, darling!|Oh, careful!
You may be paralyzed.
Call a doctor.
But I'm--I'm sure|she'll be fine.
I think I'm--
Just please let me know if|there's anything else we can do.
Well, you might consider|investing in a mop.
Once again, I apologize.|Now, since we seem...
to have lost your reservation...
we can only let you have|this suite for one night.
Aah!
Uh, then I'm sure we|can work something out.
Could everyone please|just let her rest now?
Yeah. Hey!
Don't you ever flop me|without my consent.
Oh! It had to look|real, Sweetheart.
You fall lousy when|you know it's coming.
I fall fine!
Fake.
Oh, shut up!
Hey! Oh, no!
Cheat!
No, stop!
Hey, boss, just got|3 Camrys in--cherry.
Parts will bring|100 thou easy.
Great.
And the change of|title came through...
on the Mercedes.|You have to sign.
That bitch.
You know, this is,|like,the eighth frame...
we've gone through|in a week.
Maybe it's time|to retire this picture.
Why the hell can't I stop|thinking about her?
Was it the legs?
She had amazing legs.
Give me that!
Or maybe it was|that she dumped you...
'cause that's never|happened before.
Yeah...yeah.
Who the hell does|she think she is?
She thinks she can do this|to me and just walk out?
Well, she's wrong!
I'm gonna find her.
And then?
Then I'm gonna take care of it.
Dr. Arnold Davis.
Made huge money|when an old uncle died...
45, pretty good shape.
Who's the old bag?
His mom.|She lives with him.
Forget it. He's taken.|Mama's boy.
We can get around her.
Pass. Mothers are death.
Can't argue that.
David D. Cummings...
760 million.|E-commerce stuff...
just ended|marriage number 3.
Downside?
Very big on ironclad prenups...
and as you can see,|massive competition.
We could handle him.
We'd have to be into|a group kind of thing.
Menage attrois?
Try menage a cinq.
Ew. Pass.
Wow. William B. Tensy.
C.E.O. of Tensy Tobacco.
Old money, but also|just plain old.
How much?
3 billion with a few|million more every day.
Hmm...
Not " hmm." I am not|dating the walking dead.
Page, the older the better.
With luck they die|right after the wedding...
and then you're|talking widow money.
I'd have to kiss that?
Well, I'd have to kiss|that way more than you.
Well, maybe you're|into necrophilia.
We'd better work fast.
Why for once can't|we pick someone...
who's just a little bit cute?
Dean was kind of cute.
You're in serious denial.
Cute is dangerous.
Cute leads to feeling,|which leads to screwing...
which leads to screwed.
I know that we can make that|doctor and his mom work for us.
Page, we’re going with|Tensy, and that's that.
That is not that.
Look, if you want to go|with Tensy, go with Tensy.
I'm working Davis.
Page, I've told you before,|no simultaneous cons.
Too many angles.|They always go bad.
Yeah, but it's not|just that, is it?
What?
You don't think I can be|the primary, do you?
I didn't say that.
Although it does take|an enormous amount of skill.
I can make men do anything.
Boys. You can make|boys do anything.
Gas station attendants,|bartenders...
the occasional migrant worker...
a one-shot seduction|is child's play...
compared to getting someone|to marry you in 3 months.
4 months.
What?
Well, it took you|4 months this time.
You used to be|able to do it in 3.
What are you saying?
That I'm losing it?|I'm getting too old?
I didn't say that.
I'm in terrific shape.|Feel my butt.
Ugh. I am not feeling|your butt again, Mother.
We all know it's wonderful.
I'll tell you what.|We'll play for it.
Winner picks the mark.
Great.
We'll cut cards.
Right. I'm gonna|trust your cards?
See that guy|over there at the bar?
First one to get him|to buy her a drink wins.
Deal.
Hi.
Hot.
Yeah, sure is.
Oh!
Let me get that for you.
Oh, my!
Would you?
Sure.
Oh, you're so kind.
I'm Betty.
-Hi. My name--|-Excuse me...
may I grab your nuts?
Mmm.
Salty.
Are you OK?
Can I get you a drink?
We go with Tensy.
Stupid jerk!
He doesn't look so bad--|in this light.
Yeah, his liver spots|are positively glowing.
All right, let's run|through it one more time.
I know what to do.
Got a light?
Yeah.
Your trash is on fire.
Holy shit!
Set.
Good. Now stay by the phone.
Timing on this is crucial.
Duh!
Always treating me like a child.
Child!
Excuse me, sir,|but smoking is not permitted.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Nazi.
Oh!
Pardon me.
Is no crime.
OK, Dr. Davis, let's see|where you're going tonight.
Good start, Page.
Crap!
Davis residence.
Yeah, Arnold Davis, please.
I'm sorry, he's just left.
Oh, no. This is--
He left me a message.
I'm supposed|to meet him tonight--
I can't read|my maid's handwriting--
Who is this?
This is--
Stupid cell phone.
Mrs. Whiler?
Right. Right.|This is Mrs. Whiler.
I believe he said the Glades.
Right. And that's on?
I think it's on|the far end of Ocean.
Great. Cutting out. Thank--
Hi. Can I get you a drink?
Wow. I've never heard|that one before.
You really blow me away|with your creativity.
-Well, l--|-Well, l...
Your recovery is even better.
Do you even care|at all who I am?
I mean, I could be|the Antichrist or have...
the intelligence of a thermos,|but unfortunately...
those are not the matters|the male penis ponders.
So, please, tell me...
why did you walk|all the way over here...
to ask to get me a drink?
Well, because I'm the bartender.
Oh.
Martini, very dry.
Sure.
Our next item is|an exquisite piece...
from the Kerner estate...
a stunning work|by Feodor Tergeniev...
entitled Form in Repose.
I'm looking for|an opening bid of 130,000.
130.
Very good. I have 130.|Do I hear 140?
140.
Thank you.|Do I hear 150?
150,000.
160.
I am offer 170.
175.
Was that 175, sir?
I'll take that.|175,000.
180.
I have 180.|Do I hear 190?
Do I hear 190?
I really must hear a number|or see a paddle, sir.
I think he--
Yes, ma'am,|I have your bid.
It's to you|at $180,000.
Going once...
twice...
sold--
to the persistent|woman on my right.
Thanks.|You did good.
Bye.
Uh, that's $3.50.
I'll flip you for it.|Call it.
-No, we don't really--|-Call it!
Tails.
Heads. Oh, too bad.|Thanks.
Well, Jack, looks like|she got a free drink...
and one of your balls.
Nah, I just think she's|nervous being on her own.
Oh, yeah.|She's a delicate flower.
Oh, wait!|I think I see crack.
-That's just his butt, lady.|-Let me see.
Hmm.
Hmm. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Ooh.
Looks good.
From where I'm standing...
hmm.
Oh!
Oh, my God!
Oh!
What, what?|What is the matter?
My--my beautiful man.|He ruined.
Ruined!
I'm sure we can have|this expertly repaired.
No. Man thing off,|deal off.
What good is to me now?|He has no " pipiska."
Mother, did you have any|trouble finding the place?
This is beyond civilization.
It was impossible|to find.
Son of a bitch!
Ow!
Ow! Ow!
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Get away from him!|Get away!
I told you it was dangerous to|come to these low-class bars.
It stings, Mama.|It stings so bad.
Oh, mother will help you.
The retina is detached.
I know it! Ow!
Are you OK now?
Yes. You idi--
" Idi" what?
Yeah.
Subject is en route.
He'll pass the checkpoint|in 10 minutes.
Everything set?
Yeah. Of course.
What's wrong, Page?
Mother can tell|something's wrong.
Mother knows nothing.
I'm following|right behind him...
so be sure|to remove the spikes.
And he mustn't see you.
He must think no one else|is around so we can bond.
I know, I know.|You're driving me crazy.
Well, you’re driving me crazy.
Well, that answers|the question of whether...
you're already|in a relationship.
Since you can't seem|to read my subtle signals...
I'll help you out.|Piss off!
Everyone is a little|irritable after they choke.
Two headlights.|That's not him. Crap.
That was wrong|on so many levels.
-You!|-What happened?
What are you doing here?
-I followed you.|-More like stalked me.
Listen, mouth breather,|I am fully capable...
and really in the mood|to kick the shit out of...
your psychotic, skulking ass.
Does this look familiar?
Might be mine.
Well, if you're not sure...
Thanks! Now go.
Look, my car doesn't drive|so good with a tree in it.
What a baby!|It's a flat. I'll fix it.
Wait, first we better go clear|that stuff out of the road.
Another car could--
No! I'll do it.|Just get the spare.
Now!
Look, I'm willing to explore...
the whole being|dominated thing, OK?
But let's just take it slow.
-Uh-oh!|-Watch out!
Oh!
Oh!
What did you push me for?
I saved you, you moron.
That can't be good.|I'd better check it out.
Oh, wait, wait!|I'm hurt.
No, you’re not.|Nothing could hurt you.
Are you calling me a liar?
All right,|where are you hurt, then?
My ankle.
See?
What the hell?
Perfect.
Oh!
No!
Jeez, they're really|piling up up there.
My ankle.
Your ankle is fine.|I'm going.
Are you mixing medications?
You're ruining the magic, idiot.
I'm much sorry.
Must be glass in road.
Ah, the statue stealer.
Why is it whenever I see you...
things seem to be|going into the crapper?
You have head injury.|I rush you to hospital.
No, no, no.
I don't. No. No.
The police will|be along shortly...
and they'll sort this out.
Ooh!
See?
Delayed shooting head pains.
Come. To hospital we go.
What about your car?|You have flat tires.
Oh, is nothing.
Ooh.
What the hell are you doing?|Get off me!
What?
-You were the one who...|-I got to go.
How do I look?
If I were a guy, I'd do you.
You're sweet.
I'm going back to the hospital|to see if I can fix...
the mess you made last night.
With that on,|he'll forgive anything.
He better...
for your sake.
Be nice or I won't tell you|which eye looks bigger.
Which?
-Are you going to be nice?|-I'm always nice.
The left.
Here, use my eyeliner.
Shit.
I want my purse, jerk-off.
That's not very friendly.
Now, I want you|to go back out...
and this time,|when you kick the door open...
say something nice.
You stole my purse, dipshit...
and you stole it so I'd have to|see your ugly-ass face again.
No, you forgot your purse|for the second time...
because you were in such|a hurry to strand me...
-in the middle of nowhere.|-Look, just give it to me.
Or would you rather have|my heel up your ass?
Who told you I'm into that?
Pretty rough on|the boss, weren’t you?
You know, he's not|really into ass play.
That's just, like,|his sense of humor.
He owns this place?
Yeah, his dad left it to him.
Of course, all these|development creeps...
are trying to give him,|like, 3 mil for the place.
Whole world's going to be|Gaps and Starbucks, right?
He's loaded.
Good, Page.
Greetings.
Oh, it's you.
Doctors don't want me to smoke.
It's ridiculous.
They depend on cigarettes.
A perfect scapegoat|for their incompetence.
I assume you're here|about the insurance.
My attorneys will|take care of it.
That won't be necessary.
I have no want to sue you.
Sue me?
My people will tear you a new...
I am only come|to see how you feel...
my poor, poor, Babushka.
That's very nice of you, Mrs...
Miss.|Just call me...
Ulga.
-Ulga?|-Mmm.
Well, that’s lovely, Ulga.
Yes?
I am Ulga Yevanova.|I am here to...
Yes. We've been expecting you.
I am Miss Madress.|I run this household.
Oh, good for you.
I will announce you.
We have a bitch alert.
Come on, bartender.|It's your night off.
Do something fun.
Good boy.
I love it here.
It's the only|bloody place left...
that doesn't make you feel|like a serial killer...
for having a damn smoke.
Yes, is lovely.
I'll be your waiter|tonight--Vladimir.
Allow me to tell you|tonight's specials.
No need for English|tonight, Vlad.
We have one of|your country women here.
Oh, wonderful.
So, tonight we have...
Da.
Da. Da.
Excellent choice.|The steaktartare.
Oh, I love a woman|who eats raw meat.
That's real nice!
You're not just going|to stand there.
Help me.
Please.
Isn't that the shoe you|wanted to jam up my ass?
No, that was the 6-inch heel.
Now come on.
What are you doing here?
Uh...working.
Working?
You some kind of wilderness|female mud wrestler?
I am an environmentalist|studying the effect...
of waste run of from|the neighboring wetlands.
Oh, well...
you environmentalists|really dress hot.
Yeah, well...
there's no law that says|you can't look good...
while you're saving stuff.
So, why are you following me?
-I'm not following you!|-Then what are you doing here?
Come on, I'll show you.
You're not out here burying|high-school kids, are you?
Well, they egged my car.
What do you do?|Spy on people humping in boats?
That's so perverted.
I photograph stars.
Look, just because|they're famous...
doesn't mean they don't deserve|their privacy, too.
Who you got?
The stars up there.
You sneak all the way out here|to stare at space and shit?
No, I come here to get away|from the lights of the city...
so I can see|the space and shit.
-Why?|-Take a look.
Jesus.
That's the Crab Nebula.
That is the exact color|of a sapphire ring I wanted.
OK.
And this...
is the great|globular cluster in Hercules.
I don't think|I want to see that.
Wow.
Good cluster.
And I think you can also see|the Corona Borealis, too.
Wait, wait, I'm not done|with the globular thing.
OK...
I love to watch a woman eat.
It is surely one of|the most sensual acts.
Is such joy to hear|my native tongue again.
I deeply appreciate|what you say, and...
what you don't say.
Oh, William,|so much loudness.
Can we not go somewhere|I can relate to you...
orally.
All right.
Who will favor us|with next song?
We have a fellow|country woman here.
No, I am so...
Please, I am so not musical.
-Please, uh...|-How about " Karabuschka?"
I know there isn't|a Russian alive...
who doesn't know " Karabuschka!"
Karabuschka
Da, da, da
Moscow
Leningrad
Minsk...
Oh, you know,|I am just fooling.
I am so full|of good humor.
Flew in from|Miami Beach B.O.A.C.
Didn't get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag|was on my knee
Man, I had a dreadful flight
I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
You don't know|how lucky you are, boy
Back in the U.S.S.R.
Been away so long|I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow|to unpack my case
Honey, disconnect the phone
I'm back in the U.S.S.R.
You don't know|how lucky you are, boy
Back in the U.S.
Back in the U.S.
Back in the U.S.S.R.
Look, there’s another one.
Oh, there's two at once.|Did you see that?
Yeah.
God, I never knew you could|have this much fun for free.
Well, it's not completely free.
So, are you ready|to tell me the truth?
What?
Tell me why|you're here, really.
I told you,|I'm an environmentalist...
student at|the University of Miami.
What? You don't believe me?
Well, I'd like to, but...
What about my butt?
-Ooh, I got to go.|-Again?
-Yeah, I have work to do.|-It's 11:00 at night.
I know, but I have to write|an environmental impact report.
Will it mention me?
-Wait! What's your name?|-Uh, Jane.
Will I see you again?
Try wishing on a star.
Is that 5 people?
Keys are in it.
Hey, Mom.|How did it go?
Perfect.
His infatuation|is right on schedule.
You know, you’re home now.
You can stop|with the accent.
-What's that?|-What's what?
-Mud?|-I gave myself a facial...
some special local stuff.
I think I'll to take a nice|long shower and go to bed.
Good night.
Smoking is part of|the fun of being a kid.
We just did some tests|on some 9-year-olds.
After a little puking...
why, you couldn't drag them|away from the stuff.
You're only young once.
Why not indulge, I always say.
Oh, darling, what matter?
Head pain back again?
No, no, it's all right.
-I have a gift for you.|-A gift?
A gift! Oh!
Oh, a personal fire device.
I'm not insisting|you take up smoking...
but I thought it would|give you some incentive.
There is nothing sexier|than smoke billowing proudly...
out of a woman's hot,|red, engorged nostrils.
That image will haunt me.
Still a little sleepy, my dear?
Oh, no, no, it was|another wonderful night.
I think that I deserve|a big kiss for that big gift.
Oh, yes.
Is no getting|around that.
Oh, oh, no.
We mustn't.|God is everywhere.
Yes, he is, isn't he?
Nosy bastard.
I'll have Miss Madress|get your purse.
Is he that repulsive to you?
No. Is Russian|expression of happiness.
Ptui, ptui,|oh, I am so happy.
Save it.|I'm on to you.
You're attracted to me?
Oh, flattering,|but I no do females.
I've been with him for 7 years.
I've seen him with many women.
I've never worried.
Passing amusements.
But you, oh, you're good, baby.
I no understand.|What is you want?
I is want your ex-commie ass|out of his life.
I didn't put up|with his crap for years...
just to be squeezed out|right before he kicks.
I've put in the time,|and I expect a big payoff.
Oh, you must believe,|I have true feelings for him.
Oh, spare me|your Bolshevik bullshit.
Either you disappear...
or I tell him exactly|what I saw.
Your dark honesty|is refreshing...
but please, I beg you...
leave me one more night|to bow out gracefully.
I have something for you.
I know it's not the sapphire|you wanted, but...
It sure isn't.
It's a meteor fragment.
Like the ones|we were watching?
That's been to the far reaches|of our solar system and back.
No lousy sapphire has|ever pulled that off.
You don't do anything|like normal people, do you?
Some things.
H
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