Hollywood Ending CD1
You know who would be[br]perfect to direct this...
and it kills me to say it,[br]because I don't relish[br]the idea of working with him...
- but... my ex-husband.[br]- Val?
Val's perfect.[br]He's perfect,[br]given this material.
She's right.[br]This is his kinda story.
Look, I love Val. I love him.[br]But with all due respect...
- he's a raving,[br]incompetent psychotic.[br]- He's not incompetent.
They should lock him up[br]and throw away the key.[br]Don't take that the wrong way.
Forget it. We're gonna wind up[br]$20 million over budget,[br]and maybe no picture to boot.
That's right. I did[br]a picture with him[br]when I was at Firestone.
- He didn't even finish the movie.[br]- I was there at Firestone.
- He had a nervous breakdown.[br]- He was under a lot of stress.[br]We had just broken up...
Honey, he was fired off[br]a picture here at Galaxie[br]just before I took over.
- They said his demands[br]were outrageous.[br]- He's a perfectionist.
- The light had to be perfect.[br]The sun had to be just right.[br]- [Scoffs]
He demanded that they[br]replace the leading lady.
He wanted to reshoot[br]the dailies every other day.[br]He fired the cameraman.
Finally, he came down[br]with shingles.
They shut down the picture[br]and found another director[br]to finish it...
You-You don't have to tell me[br]about that. I was[br]married to him at the time.
- You should remember.[br]- That was ten years ago, Hal.
His best pictures[br]were ten years ago.[br]Then he became a real artiste.
Look, look.[br]I am the last person[br]to defend that craziness...
because it drove me nuts.
But Val cares about movies,[br]and he was born[br]to do this material.
- [All protesting][br]- Ellie, what are we[br]discussing here?
- Shingles, headaches.[br]Why open a can of worms?[br]- But he's mellowed.
I'm telling you.[br]Who better to direct this?
- The streets of New York[br]are in his marrow.[br]- Let me just say this: Ruth.
- Yes, Ruth.[br]- No way! God!
What about him? He's great.[br]I know we could get him.[br]He'd be safe.
We can put our foot[br]on his neck. Martin Ruth.
That's true. Val hasn't worked[br]in a lot of years.[br]We could make a good deal.
- All you have to do[br]is watch him like a hawk.[br]- We're gonna lose...
We're gonna lose[br]a lot more with Val.
I agree with Ellie.[br]I think he's the ideal director[br]for this project.
- But we're not gonna use him.[br]Who needs trouble?[br]- Right.
Besides, what makes you think[br]he'd want to work with us,[br]given all the personal baggage?
I'm told that he's[br]in no position to be fussy.
- [Wind Howling][br]- I can't stand it here.
What the hell am I doing[br]in Canada?
Lori,[br]they got moose up here.
Moose. Are moose carnivorous?
My God![br]How could you be homesick?
You got there yesterday.[br]You're coming home tomorrow.
Val? Val, Val, Val.[br]We're good to go here.[br]Waiting on you.
Did my agent call?[br]Any word on that TV movie?
The interracial abortion,[br]gene-splicing thing?
I think the TV movie[br]decided to go[br]with peter Bogdanovich.
Oh, th-th-that's great.[br]Th-Th-That's just great.
You know, l-I love peter.[br]peter's a beautiful guy.
- [Stammering][br]God bless him. l, uh...[br]- Val!
Val, the client wants[br]more overhead coverage[br]of the spray cans.
One minute.[br]Lori, this is humiliating.
l-I'm up here shooting[br]a deodorant commercial.[br]I got two Oscars.
Up here, you don't[br]need Oscars. You need antlers.
[Hal Chuckles][br]Here's a funny script about two[br]kids in a college fraternity...
who invent a machine[br]that can turn women[br]back into virgins again.
It's very clever.[br]What's the matter?
You know, when you asked me[br]to come out here for you,[br]you promised me...
that I wasn't just going[br]to be one of those bright women[br]who-who finds properties...
and goes to lunch 500 times[br]developing them,[br]and then never gets one made.
Honey,[br]The City That Never Sleeps[br]is green-lit.
- That's been your project[br]from day one.[br]- Yeah, sure.
Until I suggest the director.[br]And then even though you admit[br]he'd be perfect for it...
- I get shot down.[br]- You didn't get shot down, honey.
I know that[br]that's a risky choice,[br]but it's an inspired choice.
I think you're[br]trying to help him[br]because you feel guilty.
Guilty? Why should[br]I feel guilty? Because[br]I fell in love with you?
I mean, God knows[br]I put enough years[br]in that marriage.
- That's right. You did[br]absolutely nothing wrong.[br]- I know.
I brought up his name[br]because... [Sighs]
because he would give you[br]the best movie[br]for that script.
- Nobody argued that.[br]- He's probably so angry[br]he won't even speak to you.
And he's liable[br]to ruin the picture[br]just to get even with me.
No. You're wrong about that.[br]I'm telling you, you're wrong.[br]He would be grateful.
- He needs a comeback, and...[br]- Ellie, this is a very, very[br]expensive film.
It's got solid[br]box-office potential.
He can do it.
You don't regret[br]leaving him, do you?
You know, one day[br]you look up and you realize[br]that laughs are not enough.
I can handle him, Hal.
I just got tired[br]of having to all the time.
And then, you know...[br]then I met you.
- What are you doing home?[br]- [Sighs] I quit.
[Gasps][br]No! Val,[br]not again.
- You quit over nothing again?[br]- Not over nothing.
- What?[br]- I quit over a big thing.
- What?[br]- They fired me. That was[br]big enough to quit over.
Oh, Val![br]That's just great.
I got the last plane[br]out of Toronto.
Have you ever seen Canada?[br]Now I know why[br]there's no crime up there.
[Grunts][br]Boy, I must say...
you don't seem[br]too enthused over seeing me.
Well, can you blame me?[br]What are you gonna do now?
You're gonna sit around[br]the apartment, talking about[br]the good old days.
[Groans][br]I gotta get a picture.
Boy, somebody's got[br]to take a chance on me.[br]This is ridiculous.
When you're cold,[br]you're cold.
Fortunately, my business manager[br]put away enough money[br]before he went to prison...
- so I could hold out[br]another three weeks, maybe.[br]- Your agent called.
Hey, you know, if you'd[br]come up there with me,[br]it might have been different.
Two people[br]in that sleeping bag[br]is a lot cozier than one.
And who goes on for me[br]in the play?
[Exasperated Sigh][br]For God sakes,[br]it's an off-off-Broadway play.
You're in the last stages.[br]Your understudy could have[br]gone on for you.
Are you kidding? My understudy?[br]Right, and that will be[br]the one night...
that Steven Spielberg[br]comes to see the play,[br]or Harvey Weinstein.
They're not coming, believe me.[br]They're fasting.
[Sighs][br]I would've been so good[br]in that Shakespeare movie.
- [Groans][br]- What's... Oh![br]What's that?
These are pelts.[br]l-I traded with[br]a fur trapper between shots...
so the trip wouldn't be[br]a total loss.
- Your agent sent over that script.[br]- A script?
Why didn't you tell me[br]about this?
"The City That Never Sleeps."
When did this come in?
Well?[br]What did you think of it?
You know, I thought[br]it had definite potential.
It's got a,[br]you know, really good[br]Manhattan feel to it.
You know, they're interested[br]in you directing.
You know,[br]that's fine with me.
You know,[br]this is the kind of material[br]that I can really do great.
This is... This is...[br]You know, I can[br]make this script sing.
This is New York.[br]It's nightclubs.[br]It's the skyline.
- You want some water?[br]I'm very excited.[br]- Please. Me too.
- Who wants me?[br]- Well, uh, we have[br]a little selling to do...
but, uh,[br]Galaxie is making it.
- Hal Yeager?[br]- Yes, that's right.
- He stole my wife.[br]- Ellie is the one[br]who's pushing for you.
Pass. I'm not gonna work[br]with Hal Yeager and Ellie.
You gotta be kidding.[br]He's a philistine[br]and she's a quisling.
- It's a religious conflict.[br]- Will you calm down.
It's everything[br]you've been looking for.
l... You know,[br]I'm frankly flabbergasted[br]they would even think of me.
Well, they didn't[br]think of you. She did.
And she has convinced Yeager[br]to come fly to New York[br]and take a meeting with you.
- This guy stole my wife.[br]- He doesn't hold that[br]against you. It's business.
Can you believe that[br]she would leave me[br]for-for Hal Yeager?
I still can't get[br]my mind around it.[br]Mr. Slick...
- The price of his haircut[br]could feed a family of five.[br]- Calm down.
You're getting all red.[br]Would you calm down.
And you're telling me she...[br]he doesn't want me? She's the...
The nerve of them.[br]He's such a manicured phony.
May he... May he fall[br]on his blow comb...
and get hot[br]in the wrong place.
Please, Val. Please don't[br]do anything to kill this.[br]It's a golden opportunity.
Forget it. I would rather do[br]the geriatric diaper commercial[br]I turned down.
Would you? Because that's[br]what the future holds[br]if this falls through.
Of course I wouldn't.[br]This is a terrific script.
- l, you know... l...[br]- Make some sense now.
A $60 million dollar,[br]first-class feature film.
A big payday, which you need.[br]And if you score with[br]this one, you're back on top.
You'll never have[br]a gift like this[br]drop in your lap again.
Just take the meeting[br]with Yeager.
- And Ellie?[br]- Yes, and Ellie.
I'm telling you,[br]I'll get you half[br]a million dollars.
A lousy half-mil[br]they're offering?
They want to buy prestige[br]at the Shrine Auditorium[br]Oscar night for a half-mil?
There's no offer.[br]It's not an offer yet.
- I reject their offer.[br]- There is nothing to reject.
- Well, I reject it anyhow.[br]- [Laughs]
You better meet with him[br]and you better be nice,[br]or else I'm out of here.
I finally get an offer[br]that's worthy of my gifts,[br]and look where it comes from.
There is no offer yet.[br]And I am so tired[br]of all this...
The big talk about how big[br]you were ten years ago.
Things change,[br]and you can't get work.
- You know, part of me[br]wants it so badly.[br]- And the other part?
Also wants it.[br]That's the problem.
- It only takes one hit.[br]- I know.
- And I want a role in this movie.[br]- I don't have the movie yet.
He's gotta meet me[br]and throw his weight[br]around first.
And not just a little bit.[br]Something where I can show off[br]what I can do.
Lori, I can't stick[br]my girlfriend in the movie.
I'm not just your girlfriend.[br]I'm good.
Remember all those times[br]I told you you should[br]take acting lessons?
I'm a natural.[br]Classes would ruin me.
Jesus. You know,[br]Ellie feels guilty[br]about dumping me...
so this is her way[br]of clearing her conscience.
Great![br]What's the difference[br]how it came about?
This whole thing[br]is creepy, Lori.
For God sakes, this is a woman[br]I was married to for 10 years.
We made love. I'd hold[br]her head over the toilet bowl[br]when she threw up.
- From making love with you?[br]- Not from making love with me.[br]From eating sushi.
For God's sakes,[br]I used to hug her when[br]she was afraid of flying.
And-And, you know,[br]I kissed her[br]on top of the Eiffel Tower.
I swam in the moonlight[br]with her at Montauk.
Now suddenly I got[br]to take a meeting with her?
I don't know.[br]I've got very mixed feelings.
This guy has really[br]got to show me he's changed.
He's not in a position[br]to make extraordinary demands.
Because it was over for him[br]years ago. He hasn't touched[br]anything for years... garbage.
I'm telling you, garbage.[br]I mean, I'm not saying that[br]as criticism, you know.
The question is, do I wanna[br]let this has-been make his[br]comeback picture on my money?
- He's not a has-been.[br]He's a very good director...[br]- [Scoffs]
- who's fallen on[br]some difficulty times.[br]- He brought it on himself.
He's his own worst enemy.
Look, think of[br]the press angle, you know.
Val Waxman does[br]his comeback film[br]for Galaxie pictures.
What good is the press[br]if the guy ruins the picture?
He's not gonna[br]ruin the picture.
No, you're damn right[br]he's not because[br]I'll fire him.
I'm not going to take[br]temperamental antics[br]from some "owteur" genius.
- Auteur.Auteur.[br]- Whatever.[br]Okay, auteur.
You're doing a jack story,[br]okay?
He can do this film[br]better than anybody[br]I can think of.
Ha! We'll see.
- You're so nervous.[br]You're making me nervous.[br]- I'm not nervous. I'm tense.
- You are nervous.[br]- I'm tense. When I'm nervous,[br]I bite my nails.
When I'm tense,[br]I do this with my collar.
-Just act... Calm down[br]and act professional.[br]- I am. I'm fine.
But this is a guy[br]who stole my wife.
Years ago,[br]I would never have consented[br]to make a film for him...
and now... now suddenly[br]I'm auditioning for him?
It's crazy. You know,[br]I would kill for this job...
but the people I want to kill[br]are the people who are[br]offering me the job.
- It's just insanity.[br]- What is that?
- Remember in the cab[br]I took a blue pill?[br]- Yeah?
Well, that was[br]to calm my anger.[br]But it had speed in it.
So then I took[br]another pill after that[br]to calm down the speed.
Well, this gets me back up[br]to speed, where I want to be[br]actually for the meeting.
- Great. Perfect.[br]- Yeah.
Then that other pill[br]I took keeps me dry[br]when it's raining out.
- Ellie. Ellie.[br]- [Exhales][br]Hello, Al.
- So good to see you.[br]- Hello, Val.
- Al. How are you?[br]Good to see you.[br]- Ed.
I'm so glad you could get here.[br]Are they still having[br]power failures?
I read that there was[br]a terrible power failure[br]in California.
- Can I get you some coffee?[br]- Coffee would be wonderful.
Electricity.[br]That the electricity[br]was going off.
Come on in.
- Since when[br]do you wear suits?[br]- You have any milk?
- You never wore suits.[br]- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, cream.
Well, Val,[br]you look very good.
I'm okay, you know.[br]I've been having[br]some back spasms...
and I have[br]a torn rotator cuff,[br]and-and, my knee...
You know, I got a hearing loss.[br]It's the oddest thing.[br]In my left ear...
- What did you think[br]of the script?[br]- The script?
You know, the movie[br]that it's based on[br]was a stupid little potboiler.
He's asking about[br]the script.
- But the rewrite is good.[br]- Thanks to Ellie.[br]She did all the work.
Yeah, it's good.[br]You know, I think this[br]could make...
a kind of tough, gritty,[br]New York, big city movie.
You can't make any money[br]just in big cities.
Well, I mean,[br]where do you think[br]this is going to play?
It's not going to appeal[br]to farmers or shopping malls[br]in Biloxi.
Oh, I completely disagree.[br]I think if this picture[br]is mounted properly...
it's gonna have[br]universal appeal.
Where do you think[br]the demographics are?
You mean why the country[br]got so stupid suddenly?
- My theory's fast foods.[br]- [Chuckles]
The age group.[br]The age group of this film.[br]Where do you see it?
The age?[br]This will appeal to,[br]you know... to, uh...
[Coughs][br]adults and teenagers,[br]young adults...
and,you know, kids,[br]adolescents, I think.
Toddlers, I imagine.[br]Newborns.
Our marketing research[br]shows this film has[br]wide appeal for both sexes.
Yes, I agree[br]and then some, actually.
- But, the script has[br]some holes in it.[br]- Val...
Well, take the climax,[br]for instance.
I think the climax comes...[br]comes too early[br]is the problem.
- It should come[br]after the trial scene.[br]- Didn't I say that?
The inciting event[br]should come later.
The character of Benny.[br]I feel we should shoot Benny...
with a hand-held camera[br]and not a Steadicam.
But it should be nervous.[br]It should, you know...
Put the audience ill at ease,[br]like his inner-personality.
I don't know[br]if I like that.
It could be with a Steadicam.[br]You even said that.
Let me ask you how[br]you'd feel about this,[br]and be honest.
What if we shot[br]the whole picture[br]in black and white?
- Why?[br]- Because New York City[br]is a black-and-white town.
- It reeks of[br]black and white.[br]- Forget it.
Arty. It's arty.
Does anybody have an aspirin?[br]Do you have an aspirin?
Here, try one of these.[br]My herbalist[br]gave them to me.
I can do this picture.[br]I know... I got a feel for it.
- I see it all, maybe with like[br]a Cole porter score?[br]- All right.
Let us discuss it.
We're talking to[br]a couple of other directors[br]and, um, we'll let you know.
Maybe Irving Berlin[br]or something.[br]You bridge the...
Well, I think[br]we'd have to discuss it.
You know, if there ever was[br]a Val Waxman property,[br]boy, this is it, right?
- We'll keep in touch.[br]- Does anyone have a Xanax?
- Zantac. I've got[br]an ulcer too.[br]- NotZantac, Xanax.
- It's a completely[br]different problem.[br]- Can I talk to you?
Listen, Val... Oh, sorry.[br]It was great seeing you again.[br]It was.
- You've got an herbalist?[br]- Oh, yes. A genius.
In Beverly Hills he's a genius.[br]If he was in New York,[br]he'd be considered low-normal.
You know, we use[br]a completely different[br]rating system here.
When we were kids, there were[br]like ten foreign films a week[br]in this city.
- Italian, French...[br]- Oh, Italian films.[br]I love them.
Val Waxman.[br]Any messages?
Did you see my cat?[br]Isn't that neat?
- Sorry about that.[br]Uh, no. Nothing.[br]- Anything?
- We were just talking[br]aboutAlfred Hitchcock.[br]- Mm-hmm.
- Truffaut said Notorious[br]was his best film.[br]- I agree. A masterpiece.
What are you talking about?[br]You hate... He hates that movie.[br]The ending makes you crazy.
Yes, because it's a masterpiece.[br]Every time I watch that movie...
when Cary Grant[br]is carrying Ingrid Bergman[br]down the staircase...
- I always think that the Germans[br]are going to catch them.[br]- I do too.
No matter how many times[br]I see it, I think the Germans[br]are gonna get them.
- Hitchcock was an artist,[br]but he was commercial.[br]- Yeah, that's right.
- You say that[br]like it's a good thing.[br]- You have to be both.
I mean, he knew[br]what he was doing.[br]In order to make movies...
you have to think[br]about the audience,[br]you have to...
Otherwise, you're just[br]making movies for yourself,[br]like artistic masturbation.
- That's right. That's right.[br]You're a narcissist.[br]- I'm a classic narcissist then.
Have I told you my views[br]on masturbation ever?
For me, the nicest thing[br]about masturbation[br]is afterward, the cuddling time.
- [All Laughing][br]- They're laughing.[br]I'm not joking.
- [phone Ringing][br]- Want a wienie?
You got it. You're directing[br]The City That Never Sleeps.[br]I just got the call.
I can't believe it.[br]l... I can't speak.
I got you half a million,[br]plus a tenth of a point[br]after quadruple break-even.
Listen, uh, they're[br]going back to L.A. tonight.
You think you could[br]meet Ellie for a drink[br]for ten minutes?
- Why?[br]- Why? Because you owe her[br]some thanks, that's why.
She went out on a limb for you.[br]I think she wants to make sure[br]you're both on the same page.
Think about Hal Yeager.[br]He's quick to hire,[br]quick to fire.
You need Ellie[br]to run interference.
All right. All right.[br]I'll meet her at the-the...
Bemelmans Bar at 9:00.
I can spare ten minutes.[br]l-I can't tell ya,[br]my head's swimming.
A tenth of a point[br]after quadruple break-even.
You are really a shark, Al.
- Congratulations.[br]- Thank you.
Can I get a Beck's, please?
Since we're working together,[br]I thought we should sit down[br]and talk for a few minutes.
[Coughs][br]That's fine with me.
I mean, as you know, Hal was[br]a little skeptical at first...
but in the end, you know,[br]he's a businessman[br]and very professional.
Let me set your mind at ease.[br]You don't have to worry[br]about everything.
Things are gonna go[br]very smoothly.
This is... This is[br]a big shot for me[br]and I realize that...
you know, many people[br]think that I'm...[br]that I can be difficult.
But you know I can be[br]very professional...
and obviously, Hal Yeager's[br]very professional...
and you're professional,[br]clearly.
So, you know, as long as[br]business is business,[br]there should be no...
I cannot understand[br]how you could leave me[br]for that cheesy windbag.
It's mind-numbing to me.[br]I just don't understand that.
And you carry on with him[br]behind my back for two months.
- It was not two months.[br]- Yes. Yes, it was.[br]Don't tell me it wasn't.
You were carrying on behind[br]my back... Not even behind[br]my back, but under my nose.
- That's twice a day.[br]Both places.[br]- Okay, you're exaggerating.
I'm not exaggerating.[br]You were always[br]on the phone with him.
You were exchanging glances.[br]I noticed it. Then suddenly,[br]you were exchanging fluids.
l-I can't believe that[br]I didn't really see it.
You were too self-absorbed.[br]You were too intent on becoming[br]the greatAmerican film artist.
Don't tell me that. Everything[br]was fine with you until[br]I started to lose my audience.
Then suddenly you dump me[br]and move out to Beverly Hills[br]with the swimming pool.
You hated California.[br]We both hated it.
You hated traveling every place[br]by car all the time.
And I hated traveling[br]by mud slide.
Well, what did you want[br]me to do? Our marriage[br]wasn't going anyplace.
Where did you want it to go?[br]Where do marriages go?[br]After awhile they all lay there.
- That's the thing[br]about marriages.[br]- Look...
- You know, that's ridiculous.[br]- No, it was in trouble[br]for a long time.
You see, you don't see[br]what you don't want to see.
How was it in trouble?
We didn't...[br]We didn't communicate.
- We had sex.[br]- Yes, we had sex.[br]But we never talked.
Sex is better than talk.[br]Ask anybody in this bar.
- You can't...[br]- Talk is what you suffer through[br]so you can get to sex.
You isolate everything.[br]You can't just compartmentalize[br]like that.
A good marriage consists[br]of many parts well-integrated.
- Yes, and is one[br]of those parts adultery?[br]- Never.
Absolutely. At the plaza Hotel.[br]For God sakes, I got the bill.
You had the escargot[br]that afternoon.[br]I can't... It's so disgusting.
Sex and snails[br]with that roast beef[br]from Beverly Hills.
You were so busy playing[br]the American artist.
That's what[br]you were doing, playing.
You felt it was important[br]to be uncompromising[br]and temperamental...
and difficult...[br]God, difficult!
To starve and to suffer.[br]I tell you, you had all[br]the symptoms, not the disease.
You used to think[br]I was creative and original.
And I still do...[br]as a filmmaker.
It's when you became[br]creative as a hypochondriac,[br]that was it.
- Hey, all those attacks[br]were for real.[br]- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.[br]- The Black plague, Val?
An allergy to oxygen?[br]Elm blight?
Only trees get Elm blight...[br]Elm trees.
Can I sum it up?[br]You cheated on me. You lied.[br]You dumped me...
[Stammering][br]Business. We're here[br]to discuss business.
- That's right.[br]- Can we discuss it?
- I wanna keep this absolutely[br]on a professional level.[br]- Absolutely.
I think that we should rework[br]the script a little bit...
because I think[br]it doesn't have to be[br]middle-aged people.
We could make the character[br]of Kelly Swain, you know,[br]maybe coming out of college.
- That's true.[br]You mean out of law school?[br]- Law school, yeah.
I think they'd like that at[br]Galaxie. That way we could cast[br]somebody like Terry Tyler...
- Great.[br]- or maybe find... there's a[br]lot of talented kids out there.
You are such a shallow jerk![br]I can't get my mind around it.
That you would leave me[br]for a guy who is the opposite[br]of everything I am.
You know, with his ski lodge[br]in Aspen and his collection[br]of vintage cars.
If I drove around in[br]a 1939 Mercedes, people[br]would think I was Himmler.
Hal's very smart, and he's[br]a brilliant deal maker.
Yes, I know.[br]He's been audited by the best.
He has made some pretty[br]financially successful[br]American films.
That should tell you[br]all you need to know about him.
He's the white line[br]down the middle of the road.
You had your little flirtations[br]too. There was that-that[br]Italian model.
No. You were the only one[br]that I was serious with. My God.
Until you suddenly became[br]noncommunicative, nonresponsive[br]and you dumped me...
[Stammering][br]The movie is going to be[br]a fun movie to do, I think.
Um, and I have a lot[br]of ideas that I think[br]we should discuss.
Good. Absolutely. I just[br]wanted to assure you that once[br]the studio agreed to you...
you'll have their[br]full support and...[br][Heavy Breathing]
Well, thank you very much.[br]I want a... I think I want[br]a foreign cameraman.
- That's no problem.[br]- Because they get a texture[br]into the work...
that you would never get[br]with an American cameraman.
They have a certain mobility.[br]I remember coming home[br]and I picked up the extension...
and there you are[br]on the other end of[br]the extension with this guy.
I'm calling and I hear my wife[br]in a lovey-dovey with her lover,[br]saying she misses her lover.
- He wasn't my lover yet.[br]- Bull! He was your lover.[br]What are you telling me?
And I recognize the voice.[br]It's Hal Yeager[br]from Galaxie pictures.
And I'm thinking to myself,[br]"Why is my wife talking[br]like that to Hal Yeager for?"
They're making me a surprise[br]party. I thought they were[br]making me a surprise party.
- Were they?[br]- No. She was having an affair[br]with Hal Yeager.
- Follow the story.[br]Jesus, I can't believe this...[br]- I'm getting out of here.
Wait a minute.[br]Where are you going?[br]We're discussing a movie.
- No, I'm sorry. I just...[br]- What about...
I'll be back and forth from L.A.[br]and I won't bother you...
and I'll see to it that nobody[br]gets in your way creatively.
- What about Denise Daniels[br]as the blackmailer?[br]- Possibly. If you like.
I think she would be great.[br]You know what I mean?[br]Or Sarah Bedloe.
She would be very interesting.[br]She... I pick up the phone[br]and she's talking...
I'm going to order a corn beef[br]sandwich, she's talking to[br]her lover on the phone.
- Look, I'll be back from L.A.[br]in two weeks...[br]- This is gonna be a fun picture.
- It'll be great.[br]We're all very excited.[br]- I'm looking forward to it.
About Hal Yeager. The word[br]on him is cross-dresser.[br]Check it out for me.
I pick the phone up[br]and she...
- Hal, we're off to[br]a really good start here.[br]- Tell me about it, honey.
Val wants to use[br]a foreign cameraman, which[br]I think we should give him.
He's got a real visual[br]concept of where he wants[br]to go with this thing.
Um, now he's chosen Kow Chan,[br]a Chinese cameraman...
done some stunning work,[br]mostly with the Red Army.
He says he doesn't[br]like his hotel.[br]He much prefer the Sherry.
Hal, listen. Val wants[br]to go with Elio Sebastian[br]as art director.
Val says that Elio[br]really knows the streets[br]of New York.
Every location in the script[br]is out there[br]waiting to be found.
- This is great.[br]It saves us a fortune.[br]- With the exception of two:
Times Square and Harlem.[br]I have to build Times Square[br]and Harlem.
We can't build[br]Times Square and Harlem.[br]With all due respect.
He wants to build[br]the Empire State Building?[br]No.
-Just the first 20 stories.[br]- Absolutely not.[br]No, sweetheart.
It's not gonna happen, okay?[br]Just tell him no.[br]It's not gonna happen.
- All right, I'll handle it.[br]- Good. Great.
Hey, listen. I miss you.[br]How's the weather back there?
It's been great, you know?[br]It's been really New York-moody.[br]Very gray and cloudy.
- That's the way it is.[br]- Today's the first day[br]of sun we've had in awhile.
Well, listen,[br]here it's been fabulous.[br]Sunny and clear every day.
Oh, listen. I gotta run.[br]I'm having another[br]skin cancer removed.
[Val][br]This is perfect.[br]This view is absolutely perfect.
No, no. I hate it.[br]I'm... we're just gonna[br]have to build it.
- Build Central park?[br]- Yeah. You know, I take back[br]what I said before about...
- mixing real locations and sets...[br]- I don't wanna be[br]a money watchdog here...
but if you did[br]build everything...[br]I say this metaphorically...
it'd have to be done[br]over my dead body...[br]metaphorically.
All right,[br]if not the whole park,[br]then just the reservoir.
- Build the reservoir?[br]- Uh-huh. You know what?[br]You get a studio...
Put a tank in it and fill it[br]with a couple thousand[br]gallons of water... It'll work.
And then... Wait...[br]trees behind it, you know?
- New York as a symphony in green.[br]- Green I hate. I never use green.
- No. No green.[br]- You know what?[br]Tell Mother Nature, okay?
- Trees are green.[br]- We can play it for the winter.[br]You can use snow.
I buy that. A white background[br]to set off the two leads...
and marvelous '40s red.
- [In Chinese][br]- What? What?
- What is he saying? What?[br]- [Continues]
He says no white.[br]No white. He cannot shoot[br]white background.
Sebastian, what have[br]you gotten me into here?
You know what?[br]I prefer green myself.[br]Green and red.
All I'm saying is that[br]I think you're being[br]precipitous in firing him.
- Look, I never wanted[br]this guy. Not from day one.[br]- Hal...
I beg your entire pardon.[br]May I just offer[br]for your consideration...
- a single concept,[br]and I say this...[br]- You don't have to...
- Stand up, you don't[br]have to lean into the speaker.[br]- Look, he's out.
I want this guy out[br]before this picture[br]becomes a cost nightmare.
Look, Hal, I think that[br]maybe if we had a talk with him.
I said from the start[br]to use Harold pappas.
Pappas is a hack. Pappas[br]is safe, but he's uninspired.[br]I can't work with him.
- Then you should bow out now.[br]- I said I can't work with him.[br]I didn't say I wouldn't.
Val, I don't mean to get hot[br]under the collar, but pappas[br]has how many nominations...
compared to this[br]Greenwich Village lunatic?
They probably spent more money[br]getting those nominations...
- than he'll spend[br]building a reservoir.[br]- I didn't get that.
- Nothing. Nothing, Hal.[br]- I gave in on[br]the Chinese cameraman.
I've kept away from[br]your picture. I'm saying I'd[br]feel more secure with pappas.
- A word to the wise.[br]- Is there anything about[br]the part of Benny...
that you want to tell me[br]before I read it?
Only that he's[br]a Broadway sharpie,[br]a gambler.
- Like Sky Masterson?[br]- Perfect. Exactly.
Now, forgive me,[br]it might seem obvious,[br]but he's a Runyonesque...
bookmaker-type, uh, is tough,[br]but softhearted with his wife[br]who he's nuts about?
That's it on the nose.[br]That would be perfect.
[Takes Two Deep Breaths]
Jerry, some guys were over[br]the house looking for you.[br]Seems you owe some money.
[Dramatic Voice][br]I hope you didn't tell them[br]anything, Helen.
I could find myself[br]in deep trouble.
- Deep, deep trouble.[br]- Thank you.
I'll wait for you.
If they give you 30 years,[br]I'll be waiting.
If they give you 50 years,[br]I'll be waiting.
If you get two[br]consecutive life sentences...
I'll be waiting.
[Clears Throat][br]I thought that last girl was[br]kind of interesting. Did you?
- Really?[br]- I thought she read it[br]better than the others.
I know, but Claire's[br]supposed to be classy.
Didn't you think[br]she was a little[br]on the cheap side?
- Cheap?[br]- To be perfectly honest, I[br]thought she radiated stupidity.
- Stupidity?[br]- I mean, her reading[br]was competent enough...
but, my God, it's like[br]her persona...
it's trashy[br]and dumb.
Well, you know,[br]I think I'd like to use her.[br]She was interesting.
- You're the director.[br]- It's not that big a part, Ellie.
But it's a featured role.[br]Claire's supposed to be[br]a socialite, for God sakes.
This girl, "Lori Fox,"[br]she's like a step above[br]trailer park.
- Well, I would hardly[br]call her trailer park.[br]- I said a step above.
Well, I'd like to use her.[br]I thought she was[br]perfect for the role.
Fine. I mean,[br]it's your decision.[br]I'm just throwing out ideas.
You can take 'em[br]or leave 'em.
Two for Yeager, please.
- They're clearing[br]your table, Mr. Yeager.[br]- Thank you.
I am so glad that[br]you could come in.[br]I really am.
I was here on business[br]and I wanted an excuse[br]to see you.
- I didn't want you[br]to think I was crowding you.[br]- I know you, you know.
You're checking up on me.[br]Everything's going[br]really fine. It is.
- And Val?[br]- Val's Val. He seems[br]reasonably flexible.
- Most of his ideas[br]are really good. You'll see.[br]- I hope so.
- Right this way.[br]- Thank you.
- There are no personal feelings[br]that make it seem awkward?[br]- No, no.
- I think he's accepted things[br]and moved on.[br]- Good. By the way...
Andrea Ford's going to be[br]covering the making of the film[br]for Esquire.
Oh, no kid... Hey, Val.[br]We were just[br]talking about you.
Hey, Val. Ellie was[br]telling me how well[br]things are going.
- [Stammering][br]- How are you? Good to see you.[br]Everything all right?
- What are you doing here?[br]- What do you mean,[br]"What am I doing..."
- No, what are you doing here[br]at this moment?[br]- We used to eat here.
- Hal came in on a plane[br]a few hours ago.[br]- That's the best way to fly.
What are you doing[br]in this restaurant[br]at this moment?
What do you mean?[br]We're coming in to get a bite...[br]Are you all right?
[Ellie][br]You're awfully fidgety[br]or something.
- What are you doing?[br]Are you okay?[br]- Yes, no, I'm fine.
I was just thinking[br]you should go to your table[br]because it's crowded here.
- I'm ready to go.[br]- It's the woman that was[br]at the audition today.
- [Giggling][br]That's very funny.[br]- Hello, miss.
- Aren't you going[br]to introduce me?[br]- It's Lori Fox, isn't it?
- Yes, of course.[br]- I think it was.
Yes. Val is such a riot.[br]Stop kidding around.
I just... I really wanted[br]to put your mind at ease...
that just because I'm the[br]director's significant other,[br]I can still act.
- Hi.[br]- [Man][br]Hal?
- Hey, Mort. How are you?[br]I thought you were in Aspen.[br]- I wish.
- You know Ellie, my fiancée?[br]- Hi. How are you?
- Hi. I'm Lori Fox.[br]Nice to meet you.[br]- F-F-Fiancée?
- Congratulations.[br]When's the date?[br]- New Year's Eve.
My goodness, how romantic.[br]That's wonderful.
- Congratulations[br]on your new film.[br]- You know Val Waxman.
- Of course. Sure.[br]We sued him...[br]- Fiancée?
- for failure to complete a picture.[br]- That makes me feel secure.
I'll see you[br]tomorrow, Val.
Hurry! I'll miss[br]my flight.
This is not a good time[br]for you to go away.[br]I'm very vulnerable.
If I'm gonna be[br]in this movie,[br]I have to get into shape.
This spa is the only way[br]I'll ever have the discipline.
- But you're not overweight.[br]- Oh, my God! I'm a horse.
- I have to appear in lingerie.[br]- What if we need you?
It's a ten-week shooting[br]schedule. My scene doesn't[br]come until the very end.
What if I need you?[br]I'm going through a bad time.
You'll be fine.[br]You'll be fine.[br]You're a big boy.
Oh, geez. You know,[br]I'm afraid to sleep alone.
l-l-I keep thinking[br]people are breaking in.[br]I lay awake all night...
thinking of death[br]and the blackness[br]and the abyss.
Oh, oh, don't forget[br]to water my cactus.
- Call me every day.[br]- I can't. They don't have[br]any phones at Dolby Ranch.
They want to discourage[br]secret eating schemes.
- [Woman Over p.A., Indistinct][br]- Oh! Oh! Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Okay,[br]I gotta go. Gotta go!
[Man][br]And we want to see[br]the earrings. Profile.
Other profile, please.[br]And cut.
Is it true your cameraman[br]speaks only Chinese?
Yes, Mandarin.[br]It's so hard to find a good[br]Cantonese cameraman these days.
Neighborhoods just don't[br]have them anymore.
Hal Yeager's known[br]to be very hands-on,[br]very hot-tempered...
quick to replace people.
- Does that bother you?[br]- No, because the deal is...
they're going[br]to leave me alone[br]during the shooting.
- I have complete freedom.[br]- How about working[br]so closely with your ex-wife?
Well, it's not so close.[br]She'lljust be up and back.[br]It's not going to be that close.
Well, there must be[br]some bitterness.
Especially now that she's[br]going to marry Hal Yeager,[br]the man she left you for...
who's now your boss?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm Andrea Ford.[br]I'm going to be doing[br]the story...
on the making of the movie[br]for Esquire.
- Oh, really. Are you?[br]- Yeah. Yeah.[br]Didn't they tell you?
I'm going to[br]be observing the whole time.
'Cause I don't usually like,[br]you know, when journalists[br]hang around the set...
- and observe when I work.[br]- Take that up[br]with the press department.
But don't worry.[br]I won't get in your way.
I promise. I am a huge fan.
- [Clears Throat][br]Yes?[br]- Oh, huge.
I have loved[br]all of your movies.
Oh, well, you know...
And you'll be hanging around[br]doing a story here?
Yes. Because, in fact,[br]I've always thought of you[br]as a unique American artist.
Oh. Well, I'm sure[br]you won't be in the way here.
You know, there's plenty[br]of room and you can have...
Val. Hey, gosh,[br]I'm so sorry.[br]Can I steal him for a minute?
- I really was about to...[br]- Some things we have[br]to go over.
I'll get him right back to you.[br]I'm so sorry. In one minute.[br]I'm so sorry.
- You need to be careful.[br]She is a killer.[br]- She's a killer?
I didn't think it was[br]a good idea having her around[br]all the time.
But then the press department[br]told Hal that they could get[br]the cover of Esquire and so...
- How is she a killer?[br]She loves me.[br]- Well, that's fine.
I mean, if she likes you,[br]you know. Otherwise,[br]she can be biting.
- Really?[br]- I hear she's all sugar[br]and sweetness...
and gets into[br]your good graces[br]and then wham!
She kept telling Sean Madigan[br]how she loved all of his films[br]and she was a big fan.
How he was a great,[br]I don't know, unique[br]American artist.
- Really?[br]- And then in the profile,[br]she disemboweled him.
You know, if you happen to fall[br]for that kind of flattery...
- I can handle it, though.[br]- Please. You couldn't handle[br]Shirley Temple.
Give me a break,[br]will ya?
You know, I can't[br]figure it out.
It's okay to have an affair[br]with Hal Yeager, but...
you know, everyone is entitled[br]to have one psychotic episode[br]in their lives, but...
- to marry the guy is...[br]- Honestly,[br]I wouldn't talk if I were you.
- What does that mean?[br]- I don't know.
How long have you[br]been living with[br]that wind-up doll I met?
You know I don't like[br]to sleep alone. For God's sakes,[br]I'm not going to marry her.
And that wind-up doll[br]happens to have a ph.D.
In what?[br]History of gym?
Hey, look. Will you[br]give me a break[br]with the cutting remarks?
I got a picture to do Tuesday.[br]I'm thinking about my work.
I want you to get some rest[br]this weekend, okay?
And don't lie around[br]the whole time worrying about[br]everything that could go wrong.
Don't worry.[br]I'm not going to lie around.
I've got my hand[br]on the wheel, honey.[br]This picture's in the bank.
[Woman][br]Amanda, honey, who is it?
- I don't know.[br]Uncle Al, it's for you.[br]- [All Groaning]
- Please, I'm sorry.[br]I'm sorry.[br]- A man or woman?
- Hello?[br]- Al, you gotta get[br]over here right away.
Why? What's wrong?[br]I'm at my sister's for a Seder.
Al, you gotta get over here.[br]This is a matter[br]of life and death!
- [Knocking On Door][br]- It's open. Come in!
- [Door Closes][br]- What is it?
What's going on?[br]What am I doing here?
Al, I going to try[br]to explain this to you.
I came home, and I started[br]to make notes on[br]the script, you know...
because we shoot Tuesday[br]and I wanted, you know...[br]then I started to get nervous.
So, I sat down on the sofa,[br]and I was doing[br]my deep-breathing exercises...
just to stay calm,[br]you know?
And it was working,[br]and I started to relax,[br]and I dozed off.
Then I slept for a while.[br]Then I woke up, Al...
and... I can't see anything.
- What?[br]- I'm blind.[br]I'm blind, Al.
I'm blind. I'm blind.[br]I can't see.
- What do you mean,[br]you can't see?[br]- What do I mean?
Those guys in the street[br]with the dark glasses[br]and accordions?
What are you talking about?[br]Are you trying?
Al, you can't try and see.
You look around and you see[br]or you don't see. I don't see.
- How can you be blind?[br]- Howthe hell do I know[br]how I can be blind?
- I'm... Al, I'm scared.[br]- What did you eat?
What's the difference[br]what I ate?
You-You-You can't[br]lose your vision[br]from a plate of tofu.
- l-I never heard[br]of anything like this.[br]- Yes. I did.
- Remember the actor[br]Harvey Gates?[br]- Yeah?
- He lost his vision suddenly.[br]- From what?
- Grapefruit.[br]- Grapefruit?
Yes, he had a tumor[br]the size of a grapefruit[br]on his brain.
- And he went blind?[br]- Yes, he went blind...
and-and a few months later[br]he went dead...
which is worse than blind[br]'cause your options decrease.
Relax. You don't have[br]a brain tumor.
Al, with all due respect...
I have to hear that[br]from somebody who went[br]to a greater medical school...
than the William Morris agency.
We'll get you to Dr. Mason.[br]You still use Mason, right?
No. Mason dropped dead[br]on the treadmill. I use Koch.
You know, I use Koch too.[br]Did you bump into anything?
Did you fall?[br]Did you bump your head[br]or something?
I didn't bump my head. Nothing![br]Al, I got a brain tumor.[br]That's the story here.
l-l... The end is in sight.[br]I see the wall.
- I thought you said[br]you couldn't see.[br]- It's an expression.
I don't actually mean[br]I see a wall.[br]It's in my mind's eye.
Listen. I remember that[br]Ellie and I took you[br]to the hospital...
You insisted on taking you[br]to the hospital because[br]you were convinced...
- you had[br]hoof-and-mouth disease.[br]- Oh, God. Ellie!
Look, if I die, Al,[br]tell Ellie I'm sorry[br]I said all those things to her.
I said terrible things to her.[br]I called her[br]all kinds of names.
- Probably because[br]I never stopped loving her.[br]- [Chuckling] You're not dying.
Well, if I don't die,[br]tell her she's a tramp[br]and she's living with a guy...
the best you could say[br]about him is sometimes[br]he returns phone calls.
Oh, Dr. Koch.[br]It's Al Hack here.
I'm sorry to call you at home[br]on holiday, but I'm sitting[br]here with Val Waxman...
Okay,[br]you can sit back now.
- So-So, what is the story?[br]- Well, your optic nerve[br]is normal.
- Your eye exam is normal.[br]I don't see anything.[br]- Wonderful.
You don't see anything?[br]I don't see anything either.[br]That's the problem.
Any tumor large enough[br]to impact on his vision[br]so dramatically would show up.
I only wish I was in[br]as good health as he is.
This is a textbook scenario.[br]physically, you're 100 percent.
But just like someone who[br]has an hysterical paralysis...
a patient who's fine[br]but he can't walk...
or a patient who loses[br]his or her voice...
from witnessing a horrible shock[br]or any extreme,[br]stress-related trauma...
Being a film director,[br]your inner-conflicts...
have chosen to express[br]themselves in this[br]very telling fashion.
- How can I get rid of it?[br]- By treatment.
By understanding the roots[br]of your conflict...
- there's every chance that[br]this blindness will go away.[br]- How quickly?
Well, real growth[br]is always very slow.
- [Door Closes][br]- There goes my comeback.
You cannot breathe[br]a word of this to anybody.
I gotta tell 'em, Al.[br]You know, I just dread[br]telling Ellie.
Are you nuts?[br]They'll fire you.
Fire me?[br]I obviously can't[br]direct the picture.
What are you talking about?[br]How can you blow this shot?
What are you talking about?[br]I'm blind.
- Nobody knows.[br]- What the hell does that mean?[br]What are you suggesting?
If you pull out[br]of this project now[br]because psychological stress...
has caused you[br]to lose your sight,[br]you'll never work again.
- They'll burn your union card.[br]- Maybe they could postpone it.
Oh, yeah,[br]because you're blind?
Val, direct this picture[br]and bring in a hit...
or I leave you[br]with two words: homeless man.
- I can't direct...[br]How can l...[br]- I'm telling you how.
You're going[br]to muddle your way through[br]until your sight returns.
Al, I can't direct[br]a picture. I'm blind.
Have you seen some[br]of the pictures out there?
The first five minutes[br]they'll catch me.
Maybe they will,[br]maybe they won't.
If they do, you're no worse off[br]than if you confess...
because you're finished[br]in the business anyway.
You gotta be joking.[br]I'll take one step on the set,[br]I'll break my neck.
No, no, no.[br]I'll come with you.
They won't let you.[br]The actors get nervous[br]when agents hang around.
It's against[br]Galaxie policy.
Listen. Once you get[br]on the set, you get relaxed,[br]you won't even need me.
There's no way to do this.[br]I would have to take[br]somebody into my confidence.
Absolutely not.[br]No. Never. Not a hint.[br]This can't get out.
You will direct[br]a hit picture.
Sometimes God works[br]in strange ways.
[Andrea's Voice][br]Notes on "Making of[br]The City That Never Sleeps."
First morning atmosphere[br]is upbeat.[br]Lots of eager anticipation.
People moving lights.
Actors and actresses all ready[br]in costume and makeup.
Val Waxman is not[br]the first one on the set.
Actually, a few minutes late.
- This is never going to work.[br]- It's working perfect.[br]Just stand straight.
- Am I going to bump[br]into anything?[br]- No, no, no.
I'll guide you.[br]You don't trust me.[br]You have to trust me.
- I gotta look funny.[br]- You look perfect.[br]I'm telling you.
- l-l-l...[br]- Look at this.[br]How wonderful. Nice.
Good morning.[br]Would you like anything?[br]Any coffee?
- Coffee. Want some coffee?[br]- Coffee. Yeah.
- No. No. No. I'm...[br]No thank you.[br]- Okay.
Well, the actors are here[br]if you're ready[br]to block the scene.
- Blo-Blo-Block the scene?[br]- Yes. We could...
Listen, Val. Are you okay[br]with the changes in the set?
- Oh, the set. It's beautiful.[br]- Oh. It's great.
How do you feel about[br]the background color?[br]You satisfied?
It's blue and, you know,[br]brown and yellow, but[br]is it a little dark?
Beg your pardon,[br]who are you?[br]I'm Al Hack.
Al, can I speak[br]to you a second?
- Yeah, uh, I'll be right back.[br]Don't worry. I'll be right back.[br]- Al?
- Yes, yes, yes?[br]- Not that you're not welcome[br]here. You know I love you.
- Yes, yes.[br]- But, you know,[br]this is a closed set.
Oh, well, you see,[br]he really needs me.[br]He likes me to be with him.
I know, but a man[br]of your stature... an agent...
-you know,[br]it intimidates people.[br]- Oh...
- You look so good.[br]Have you had any work done?[br]-Just over here.
A little? 'Cause l...[br]Who did you go to?[br]Not that I need it...
- Fred. Fred.[br]- but I'm thinking[br]about it.
Oh, he's incredible.[br]You got the best clients.[br]Can you get me a price?
I think that we may be like[br]a little bit too light.
Would you prefer that[br]I take the whole thing[br]one shade darker?
Eh, well, that's a...[br]that's a possibility.
What do you think?[br]What would you do?
Well, I really don't know. It's[br]possible I could make the whole[br]thing match the upholstery.
That's another option.
That's brilliant.[br]That's what I would do.[br]I would match the upholstery.
Excuse me.[br]Chief, what alarm clock[br]would you like to go with?
- Uh, that one.[br]That one. That one.[br]- Which one?
- I'm sorry...[br]I'm sorry. Which-[br]- Yes. Yes. Yes.
- You like the wind-up[br]or the electric?[br]- Yes. The wind-up. Wind-up.
- I like the wind-up.[br]- Val? Val? Excuse me.[br]Excuse me, gentlemen.
Can I see you[br]just for a second?[br]Don't worry.
- Excuse me.[br]- Al, this is not working.
Don't worry. Don't worry.[br]It's going to work fine.
But you're right.[br]It is a closed set,[br]and I have to leave.
- You...[br]- Listen to me. Listen to me.[br]Just go to plan "B."
- What is plan "B"?[br]We don't have a plan "B."[br]- We gotta find somebody...
who you trust[br]who will help you.
- Someone you can rely on.[br]- You mean,[br]tell someone the truth?
Yes. Somebody you can rely on.[br]We'll get somebody who's[br]around you all the time.
Who doesn't look odd,[br]you know? Maybe the A.D.?[br]What about the script girl?
I can't do that.[br]They'll get in trouble.[br]If they get caught...
they'll never work[br]in the business again.
l-I have a responsibility, Al,[br]to Ellie and even to Hal.
You have a responsibility[br]to yourself!
You have agent's ethics.[br]I can't go by you.
Don't hit me with oxymorons[br]at this time.[br]We're in a crisis!
Wait a minute. Shh.[br]What about the Chinese kid?
- The translator?[br]- Yes, the translator.[br]The translator.
He's a business student[br]at NYU, right?
He doesn't care if he's in[br]the movie business. If he gets[br]caught, it's no big penalty.
- Well, he is always around me.[br]It's a natural-natural...[br]- Yes, see?
Val, I've got the actors.[br]We are ready for you.
Don't worry. Don't worry.[br]I'll get you to the set.[br]Take it easy. Take it easy.
I'll take you.[br]I'll take you.[br]It's gonna be fine.
If-lf I'm acting so crazy,[br]everyone'll notice[br]that I'm acting crazy.
Listen. You got[br]a reputation for being crazy.
This is the perfect time[br]for it to work in your favor.[br]Watch out. One step. One step.
Ah, very good.[br]Hey, can I have[br]Mr. Waxman's chair here?
- The director needs his chair.[br]Where is it?[br]- Chair?
Thank you very much.[br]Here, come sit.[br]Look, your lucky chair.
- Oh.[br]- Isn't that wonderful?[br]Sit, sit, sit. Be relaxed.
Real good.[br]Good luck.
- I can't work with[br]outside people watching me.[br]- Nobody's gonna be watching.
- Incidentally, you like[br]this one or this one?[br]- I like that one.
- This one?[br]'Cause this one's more like...[br]- Yes, that one.
what they'd really use,[br]but this one's more theatrical.
Well, you know, you can[br]use this one if you'd like.[br]But I prefer that one.
- Which one?[br]The first or the second?[br]- This one.
- I'd like to make[br]my entrance from the stairs.[br]- [Speaking Chinese]
[All Talking At Once]
Hold it. What... Who ordered?[br]Who ordered? What's happening?
- How do you want me[br]to kiss her?[br]- What's happening here?
- Which way did you want me[br]to kiss her?[br]- [Stammering]
- You know, on the...[br]on the mouth.[br]- What about my mouth?
- No, kiss her on the mouth.[br]- He hasn't seen here[br]for six years.
We originally discussed[br]some kind of passionate way[br]of grabbing her.
Oh, well,[br]use both lips.
Oh, excuse me.[br]Could I talk to you[br]just for a second?
- Me?[br]- Yeah, just for a minute.
- Uh, they need me.[br]- Well, actually, the director...
- The director asked me[br]to talk to you. Yes.[br]- Mr. Waxman?
[Whispering][br]It's a chance to make[br]some extra salary.
Now, you seem to be a very[br]responsible young man.[br]Are you?
- [Chinese][br]- You should move left.
You got me doing two things[br]at once here. I can't work[br]if I don't know what you want.
- You should cross left.[br]- Wait. Me? You mean my left?
- If I cross my left, I'm going[br]to bump right into him.[br]- You don't have to bump me.
- I'm probably going[br]to knock him over.[br]- Where is the translator?
- Excuse me.[br]He's supposed to be on set.[br]- [All Talking]
- Sir, I have a very important[br]message for you.[br]- Important message for me?
Um, I'm here to help you.[br]I know about your secret.
Very good. That was terrific.[br]Was it very good?[br]Was it very good?
Well, I don't see[br]the dramatic impact of it.
But it did seem a little[br]improvement from[br]the random chaos...
-you were encouraging.[br]- Oh, thank you. You didn't[br]like the random chaos, huh?
Let's... Can we go again?[br]Just for safety, one more?
Okay, sir,[br]we're approaching[br]a hallway right now.
So we're[br]gonna walk slowly.[br]There's nobody here.
- Practically nobody.[br]- Okay.
- Be careful.[br]- I'm trying to be casual,[br]but it's extremely difficult.
- Oh, I know that...[br]- Ooh! Sorry.[br]Boss, you all right?
Yes. No, I'm fine.[br]It was my fault completely.[br]I forgive you.
Sir, he's gone.[br]He's not there anymore.[br]You're talking to air.
Why didn't you warn me?
I thought you saw him.[br]This is very weird for me.
You thought I saw him?[br]How am l...
- A few summers ago[br]I did aid a deaf uncle.[br]- You're going too fast.
Okay, slowly, slowly.[br]It's very weird.
I was helping out[br]a deaf uncle[br]a few summers ago...
but we didn't have[br]to hide it like this.
Oh,Jesus, this is great.
Val, you wanna go[br]with this one tomorrow[br]or the big one?
- Wow. These are beautiful[br]pocket watches.[br]- Thanks.
I would go[br]with the big one.
Val, um, how'd you[br]feel the first day went?
The first day[br]was, you know, like the first day.
It was like a shakedown[br]where you weed out[br]the malcontents.
Oh, good. I'd love to speak[br]to you for a few minutes[br]if you're not too busy and all.
- l-l...[br]- Well, sir, uh...
you said you wanted me[br]to show me that, uh,[br]piece of jade?
-Jade?[br]- You know what?[br]If you have work to do...
we'll do this[br]some other time.
- Yes, I do. l-l...[br]- Okay. Thank you.
Sorry, sir. That's[br]all I could think of[br]to extricate you.
You realize there's[br]no piece of jade.
Yes, I get it.[br]I get it. There's no jade.
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