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Hratky s certem

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Filmexport Home Video presents A Fairy Tale Comedy
Playing with the Devil
Based on a theatre play by Jan Drda Screenplay
Art decorator
Set Decorator
Director of Photography
Music by
Sets Painter
Sound Editor
Special Effects Puppets
Costumes designed by Art make - up
The Symphony Film Orchestra conducted by
Assistants of directory Assistants of Photography
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Cast
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Directed by
Will you know, my lassie, will you know, my lassie,
what my house is like?
Will you know, my lassie, will you know, my lassie,
what my house is like?
Broad fields near the open sky,
that's what my house is like.
Broad fields near the open sky,
that's what my house is like.
Will you know, my lassie, will you know, my lassie,
what my fare is like?
Horse meat roasted is my fare,
and water from the river.
There's a little red - head for you!
You got me wrong, mate!
I've made short other... get off!
But I've made short work of bigger game than you.
I've split a wild janizary in two
His legs didn't have a clue where... ...their head was.
And picked off a bell from a horse's harness!
Bang!
There you are, red - head!
God willing, even a stick will go off!
- Don't budge! Or you'll have a bullet trough you!
- Oh, damn it! So there are more of us at this game?
Is it a stick in my back or a proper gun?
- A blunderbuss. And a couple just to make sure!
- Then I'm clearly outnumbered!
Are you a gamekeeper or the head forester?
- I'm the notorious robber, Sarka Farka!
I'm the terrible arch - murderer
and highwayman!
- I'm real glad of that -
And I was worried I was going to have troubles with a game keeper.
With a robber it's a different story!
- I am not a chi/chat kind of a guy!
What I see I kill! And that's an end of it!
- Oh, yeah? And what do you look like?
I've never seen a real live robber yet.
- Be glad you haven't!
A look with even half an eye
makes you trembling with a terrible fear,
makes your heir stand on end!
- Robber, I must have a look at you.
At least with half an eye.
It doesn't work.
- Whoever looks with both eyes -
he breaks out with goose pimples all over his body
never smiles again, to his dying day!
- I'm not afraid, not even now.
- And if I give him a nasty look -
he's struck dumb on the instant!
- You'll have to give me a real nasty look.
- Mordhadry krucityrkn, basama teremtete!
Himllaudonelement, horantytutykvanty!
Pisvonc kalibr, retere, ha!
- It's no use.
I'll die without knowing fear, it seems.
- Hell's bells!
You spoil my whole pleasure! How one can slaughter you?
You could be the miller at the Devil's Mill.
- Not a bad idea!
- Yes, but you'll have
to play Devil's Scat there.
- Sounds a good idea. - If you lose -
they grind you to powder, my lad!
Here am I gabbing away my precious time!
Begone and don't spoil my business!
- On a cliff a pinewood grove, a bit of waste beside it.
Beyond a little garden grows, nearby a dense thicket.
Past the cottage window, through flowers a brook doth chatter.
And thirty paces further on, there stands a little chapel.
- Your ducats or your life!
- Changé passé - on the instant turn to stone!
Here we go.
The hermit Scholasticus,
sir?
- No. A victim, too.
But it was much worse.
Only he went for me with a blunderbuss. - And how about that squirrel?
- The squirrel is his third victim.
We're all three fellow - sufferers.
Pon my soul, really turned to stone! - Come on...
- You can have the ribs to pick,
young man.
- I'd rather you were my guest, soldier. Stryxomilokaram, pluto!
Abrakadabra smel!
- Saints above, that's a pretty trick!
My nice plump little cockerel!
And where, may I ask, do they cook so well?
- If I told you...
you'd be afraid.
- Fear? Oh, you little green thing.
Dragoon Martin Kabat doesn't know the word!
- Take it sitting then.
- Martin Kabat only standing - as always!
Where then?
- In hell.
- I might have known.
Always threatening with Hell's fires -
but never a word of roast chickens!
- The road to hell is broad and comfortable!
- The old statue spoke of some Devil's Mill.
- My dear dragoon, sir... ...why go to the apprentice,
when you could go to the master?
Why the Mill when you can go there direct?
- Where?
- Sign this scrap of paper - and that's all.
- It won't be so easy, young man!
Sorry I can't write -
so it will have to be the Devil's Mill.
- That's a detail.
Sanze passe! Speak, blockhead!
- Phew, my whole body's tingling!
- Speak short and to the point!
Which is the way to Devil's Mill?
- Follow your nose, you limb of Satan!
- Come on, soldier! We'll go together.
- Phew, what a tingling!
Can I sit down at least?
- All right!
But next time be more careful!
- The devil take the pair of you!
- Look at him!
Yesterday it was Katie this and Katie that...
And today...
These chasseurs
are all the same! Just out to rob a girl of her good name!
- A handsome young man, your Hubert, Katie!
Curly. His body made juts of muscles.
- And what is it good for? They're all the same.
All tarred with the same stick...!
Suitors! And a couple of them!
- And no and no and no and no!
- But daughter mine... - And no!
- Oh, child, you trouble my mind!
- Do I! - And I'm telling you will listen!
- No! - Yes!
- No! - Yes!
- No! - Yes!
- No!
- Be sensible, child! - And no and no and no and no!
I won't marry that spotted ape, not for anything!
- It's in the interests of the dynasty!
- Not for the world! Have you seen his nose?
And how his ears stick out?
- He's got clear mind and respect for the public weal, my dear...
- And he speaks through his nose! What has that to do with the public weal...?
- Do you then prefer
Prince Isidor?
- Not if he were the last man on earth!
Katie says he's not all there.
- But my dear little girl...!
- And no and no and no!
- Oh...
Only a little patience - she'll see reason yet!
Oh dear, dear, a vegetarian!
Hamefuje kapriduro pyskumklejte fakudato!
Reverend hermit, are you at home?
- I'll look and see. Where could I be?
I'm always at prayers.
- May I come in?
- Enter, if you come in peace.
- Greetings, man of wisdom - and accept this gift from my master
who is pleased with you.
- What kind of nonsense is this?
Uhm...
The smell of burning!
The sure sign
of Hell's deceptions!
- Father Scholasticus,
Is it not all one wherewith we satisfy the flesh?
- By no means!
Or, actually it is!
Food only prolongs our sojourn -
in this vale of tears
and the time of our penitence.
- Excellent! Well, just...
You have forgotten about you fight against sin and temptation.
But tell me frankly, father Scholasticus,
have you ever
any temptations - physical I mean?
- Praise be to God I have none.
For thirty years I've lived here... - On bread and locusts.
And that's just the mistake! - So what?
- A proper hermit must have temptations
to resist. - But...
- If you had at least carnal thoughts...
- Father Scholasticus! - What was that?
- That's Princess Disperanda. Be off, stranger!
- So a little temptation after all?
- Stop talking rubbish, stranger!
The daughter of our gracious sovereign.
She comes for spiritual succour.
- Father Scholasticus!
- Be off, I tell you! - I'm not going away!
I like such young ladies. - Get out of here, I tell you!
In God's name...
- Oh, that's not a nice thing! Aaaah!
- Father Scholasticus!
Father Scholasticus!
Deep in your prayers again?
You don't even notice me!
- Oh, what a surprise!
To what do I owe the honour, Your Highness?
- I need spiritual succour, Father Scholasticus.
I want a husband.
- Your Highness...?!
- How I envy Katie her handsome swains!
Every week that girl has a new gallant!
- O Deus, omnipotens.
Hold! Hold, your Highness!
With such words are paved the path to Hell!
- Father Scholasticus, you've got such a flowery style.
People as heartsore as I
don't choose their words.
The sleepless nights I spend!
- Uhm, uhm... - Well...
Dreaming till dawn about such a bridegroom.
- Oh, dear god!
- A nice figure, dark rather than fair,
with a sparkle in his eye, body made of muscles...
just like an angel!
- Like an angel.
What? Just like an angel...
Your Highness, that's no less than blasphemy!
- The old generation - very narrow views, what?
Pardon me, to introduce myself.
Lucius, chasseur, and my Uncle's black sheep!
- But... - He refuses to acknowledge me -
He's no longer in touch with his family and yet...
dear Mother always used to say, esteem your Uncle,
he has gone farthest!
- My goodness, what a rate you speak at!
- Ha... - Begone, you Hell's brood!
- That's just Uncle all over!
Leave the discussion of family natters, when we're alone.
- You devil's imp... - Family outcast, and so on!
Where's our forenoon snack?
It would only be polite to offer something.
One gets hungry in the woods, doesn't he? Oh, yeah...!
Breast of pheasant - roasted to a turn!
- Hell's deception! - This is the tastiest
bit of all. Uncle, please don't frown so!
- You limb of Satan you...
- And that's my daily bread, Your Highness!
- You...! - But, Father Scholasticus!
It's a long time since I met so charming a young man.
- He's one of Hell's brood, Your Highness!
- I'll tell them how you brighten up
your menu!
- Oh! What... what?! For Heaven's sake, it's not true!
- Of course, uncle's teeth are not what they were...
Don't worry, the Princess won't give you away.
- On the contrary, I like you better
for being human.
And now you are a nice person. God's curse upon you!
- Ego te per sumum Deum obsecro!
- Where has Mr Lucius disappeared?
Where is he?
- To Hell where he belongs.
- Mr. Lucius!
I'm really angry, Father Scholasticus!
Lucius! - Your Highness...
- Talking won't bring him back - I'll find him without you!
Lucius!
- A fine scandal that'll be!
- In the inn at the top of the hill
a band is playing.
In the inn at the top of the hill
a band is playing.
Let's go and have a look who is there dancing.
Let's go and have a look who is there dancing.
Dancing there are young chasseurs,
in uniforms of green.
Dancing there are young chasseurs,
in uniforms of green.
On their heads gay cocked hats on which gold tassels gleam.
- You're foolish...
Singing about chasseurs, as if they were something special...
They're a rascally lot, all of them...
Oh, my! I want some groom so much!
I'm sick of these henchmen in livery -
I'd rather work in my own little cottage
till my joints would crackle!
Marry, Katie!
Your're not too bad looking!
But where to find a husband?
I'd sign away my soul to lay hands
on one!
- Rixum pixum terafixum! Here I am Katie - just the man you need!
- Yuck!
I thought it was Old Nick himself or a little devil himself,
and it's only a green chasseur!
Where have you dropped from, you unfeathered jay?!
- From the nest, can't you see?
- Oh, just look at him! Unfeathered,
but a tongue fit to clip clouts!
What are you doing here, green livery?!
- I'm not a chasseur, I'm a devil!
- If you were, I could ask you for a husband!
- Only state your wishes! What should he be like?
We have all kinds in stock - dark and fair,
bald and hairy, lean and stout.
- Geminy his tongue goes, like a handbell!
As far as I'm concerned...
I prefer curly - heads,
but if he is honest - with poor gals
than a curly, he can be as bald as a coot for all I care!
- Certainly, coot... coot... coot... ...c, c, c...
- Able to plough and harrow -
and make a woman happy, of course.
But there's no devil here to fulfil my wishes.
- And I won't fill the bill?! - You've the gift of the gab,
but you're no devil! - Just feel that!
Do I look like my mother gave me a spanking a rolling pin?
- Pon my life,
the greenhorn has real horns!
Ah!
- Now that's a different matter! - Ha ha.
- Lucius! Lucius! - What was that?
That was like our Princess's voice. - You must have heard wrong, Katie!
It's only my devil of a Grannie!
Quick - out of sight! She doesn't like to see me
with girls. - Lucius, hey! Lucius!
- Now tell me - Lucius!
How am I going to manage? - Where are you, you green creature?
- Lucius! - You'll have to cut yourself
in half - if you want to satisfy both of them.
- Trombolante, mordomaro!
And so I shall!
- Where did you disappear to so suddenly, Mr. Lucius?
- Your Highness has been seeking me? - Yes.
I mean no! I'm looking for Katie!
- That Uncle of mine has got you all muddled...
Looking for Katie and calling Lucius!
So you didn't want to speak to me at all?
- Yes... I mean no!
Well... well... ...I mean, yes.
- Uhm, uhm. - I'm so unhappy,
I don't know what I'm saying.
- They want to rush you into marriage, isn't that it?
- I'd like to get married all right.
- But the suitors, that's the rub, what?
- How do you know? - I know everything!
Romuald and Isidor...
- Can't some better kind of husband be found?
- With a good figure.
- And a sparkle in his eye.
- Body made of muscles.
And dark rather than fair.
- And he wouldn't back out of the wedding!
- Would he? He'll go like a lamb to the...
...to the juiciest field of clover.
- And what is your price, Devil?
- Nothing.
Only take slip of paper...
...and write down his exact
description.
- I know that off by heart. - Now you see.
All you have to do is sign it, and that's that!
- I'm to sign? - Just a detail...
...with your blood. - That'll hurt!
- A mere pinprick!
- No, no, there's some trick in it! - Ha ha.
- And if I do it,
what then? - Then nothing.
Take it before eleven tonight
to the Devil's Mill...
...and tomorrow you can put up the banns!
- The banns?
And maybe all three at once?
- All three, not to delay things!
- Then, my dear young man,
to the Devil's Mill? - Well.
- But it's haunted! - Nonsense!
Your're not superstitious surely!
Not at all.
The truth is, green devil, I don't trust you much!
You have horns, but... - All right then,
I'll send an older colleague to the Mill.
Maybe Lucifer himself.
- That's better. And now find the Princess!
- Fee - faw - fum, I smell her not far off.
Ah! Over there.
I'll disappear so she won't see us together.
- Your Highness! - Katie!
- Your Highness! - Watch out, so that she won't see us!
- Your Highness!
Your Highness! - Where have you been gadding, Katie?
- Only chatting
with an old Grannie. - Come!
- I learned a lot of useful things from her...
- Scholasticus isn't the worst either.
As far as a good advice is concerned. - Did the old greyhead
give you some sensible advice? - He did.
I'm to take a bit of paper... - Saints alive!
So have I! - And write down
what kind of husband I want.
- With your own blood, isn't that so? - Katie...
...you've been eavesdropping! - Not on my life!
But if you say it must be taken...
...to the Mill... ...to the Devil's Mill!
- Katie!
There's something fishy about this!
I'm afraid! - Nonsense!
Afraid of what?
A couple of old devils can't spoil our wedding!
- Holomajt kurumajt pante farum!
- You mouldy brood of rascally devils! Get up when a visitor comes!
Rotting on your legs with laziness!
- Who are you?
Are you s-s-some k-k-kind of ins-s-spection?
- It's not time for haunting yet!
- N-n-not till it strikes...
...'leven! - 'Leven.
- I'm not an inspection, you stinking fool!
I'm Mr Lucius, devil of the First Degree.
Graduated last year from Hell's Academy -
now, export - import, only the most elegant work.
Uhm...
- All sorts of possibilities now in Hell.
- Yeah. And that's a fact! - Different in our day.
Shoved us into the world:
- Go and temp people! And that was all!
My hat's off to you.
We're only stupid, country devils.
- I wouldn't waste time with you either -
but I've my own little bit of business here.
- No p-p-poaching!
This is our r-r-reserve!
- Shut up, you fool! I've a date with two little peaches.
They would run away if they saw your messy head!
- Seducing females is not our line!
- Yeah! - Haunting is our business!
- And here we p-p-play...
- No. ...Hell's s-s-scat.
- We want no dames here! - Yeah.
- Have you a spy hole? - Of course.
- This one.
- I'll give you that one there, just to be fair.
Get him into Hell, or you'll be
on the mat! - Don't...
- D-d-don't worry, I've m-m-marked cards.
- Don't be afraid, Your Highness!
- I'll swipe anybody
who comes near with this lantern.
- Aaah! - They are coming!
Here we are, Your Highness.
- The young ladies I'll look after myself.
What's the time? - T-t-ten!
- So I've still an hour.
Katie - I'd rather wait for you here.
- All right, but give me your paper.
- Here you are. Oh, we'd rather not.
Katie, let's turn back, before it's too late!
- Nonsense!
- Katie!
- Holy Mike!
Come in, my little quail,
don't be shy!
- Excuse,
but it's an application for a husband.
- A husband?
I'm not surprised -
such a rosebud ripe for plucking!
- It's a written application,
you understand -
if you haven't anyone suitable.
- What about me,
my little finch?
- You old devil...
Kindly excuse.
I didn't mean to be rude.
It was that bewhiskered Lucius idea.
And he was tempting me, to lodge this application.
Only I don't trust him much - too young.
But you're a proper, grey - headed devil.
The one who can be trusted. - You little jay!
So I'm a greyheaded old devil, am?
Well, I am who I am. There's nothing you can do about it.
What kind of a husband do you want, my tit?
- I'm not a tit or a jay either, I'm Katie!
And I'd like a decent fellow - that doesn't drink overmuch
or play cards. - I see.
Where's your application? - Here it is!
Aren't there any mistakes?
- Written in red ink?
- No! With my own blood.
- Shut up! - Yeah,
And this one
from Princess Disperanda. - I see,
From the Princess, too?
Well, my cuckoo, everything's settled,
You'll have husbands to your heart's content.
Away home and kind regards to the Princess.
- Your humble servant, Mr Devil! - Go!
Silly geese!
More luck than sense!
- Katie!
That's me. - Everything's settled,
Your Highness!
We'll have grooms, that...
- God help us! Quick, out of here,
the Devil's at our heels!
You mortal soul!
Your last hour has come!
And now you!
- Give me your s-s-soul, you miserable mortal!
You again.
What? - B-b-better ask
if he can play s-s-scat. - Get on with it!
- Move it!
Give me your soul, you miserable mortal! Ble ble...
- Just you dare touch it, you old dunderhead!
He isn't scared.
- You should be afraid -
but never mind, we'd like a game of scat.
- A game of marriage?
- Uhm. - Well, as far as a good game
of concerned Inot against it. - Budliky, budliky, blll!
- Tell that dirty old rogue to stop his... gabble.
- Stop it,
- will you?
...grunting!
Haven't you had enough?
- The lowest deals! - Wait!
What are we going to play for?
What can Mr Traveller stake?
- My honour -
and that's enough!
- Not the stupidest devil will play for that!
- The lowest deals, and let's get on with it!
- Wait! What if we played...
...say for...
- Well?
...for your soul?
- I've told you - hands off my soul!
- Well, it's hard then! We've got to play for something!
- Lend me a couple of groats then.
- Have you lost you mind, human!
- The lowest d-d-deals and g-g-get on with it!
- Nothing doing,
if you won't lend me anything.
- K-k-karborund,
give him a g-g-groat or two.
Well...
- You can. - Here you are, sir.
- The lowest deals!
- You damned swindlers! What's this?
- Only rubbed a little.
- Marked - that's what they are!
Are we going to play with these! These are honest.
- I won't play with them!
- Be a g-g-good chap - at least three rounds.
- But... - Uhm?
- Well, what about it?
- All right. I deal.
Will you know, my lassie,
will you know, my lassie, what my house is like?
- The time you take to deal!
- They're dealt before you can wink!
- You wish.
- Shht!
Colour! - Get on with it!
- Beat it! - Beat it!
- Yeah. - Seven reds.
- They usually count more. - Trump like a thump!
- Will it take the game and seven?
Take care you don't miscalculate!
Double!
- That's a danged nuisance!
- How... How... How... ...about this?
- I've got fifty - four like that!
And here we go, you devil! I'll stab you between the ribs!
- D-d-damn it, I should have w-w-waited a bit!
- You'll be up the spout anyhow, my pretty!
Now you've drawn a real trump, what?
- You're far too r-r-reckless!
- Oh, get off! You're no better than a beginner.
Trump!
Forty!
Trump again!
Here we go with that seven! Where's your trump, you old sniveller?
- You haven't waked up yet, what?
- I'm out of practice.
- So now we have forty... ...fifty...
six, seven, eight, nine... ten. A hundred.
Oh, here's another one. So, it'll a hundred and ten.
Oh, you thatch - pates, this is going to cost you dear!
- You filthy devils!
Ala dykem fernale!
Dr Solfernus, Master of Masters - Magneti fenticime!
Come to our aid and prevent a scandal!
- Colour. - Good.
- Just watch this!
One big, you devils.
A big enough for Martin Kabat!
- Eston drante kuparvilo!
Doctor Solfernus,
the dragoon is ruining us!
- Trump! - A bigger!
- I've a bigger one! - A thunder strike!
And here's the biggest in the whole wide world!
And now some quick work!
Follow me!
Luck is on Martin's side!
You don't jave to count it. Hand over the two bags
and we're quits!
- Tyja drunde hukydato, dronte varo ustan patro!
I call on thee a third time, Dr Solfernus -
our whole capital is down the drain!
- My dear guests, let me introduce myself.
Dr Solfernus -
at your service.
- A good thing you've come.
- These louts... - Shut up!
You're a bigger blockhead than they!
- But I'm not... - Silence, ignoramus!
- I'm not saying a word. - Of course, you are!
Get out of here!
- Yes, I was.
- Why so strict, Doctor?
- I tremble with anger -
an intelligent man like you -
and these idiots!
- To tell you the truth, doctor,
One devil's as good as another to me.
Each has got a hellish smell, hasn't he?
With whom have I now the honour?
- I personally am at your service.
- What about vingt-et-un?
Its moer faster and thrilling.
- You're a lawyer, or I'm mistaken.
They're always keener on the money than the game.
But what I've won
I want to keep.
- Money's not what I'm after!
You can keep these ducats. We'll play for something else!
- Aha!
I know which way the wind is blowing!
For my soul, isn't that it, Doctor?
- Why not, Mr. Kabat?
It's something you can quite well do without...
But for me it has collector's value. - Aha.
- I collect souls
like others collect china, or tin goblets.
- And your soul is a fine specimen,
Mr Kabat.
For a collector! - I see.
- Stake your soul! And I'll stake a bag of gold -
as big as a sack of potatoes!
- Look, doctor,
I prefer being warm
to freezing -
but where you're form - it's too warm to be comfortable.
Don't be like a child, Mr. Kabat!
All old women's tales that!
And souls? Have you ever seen one?
Less than a fish's float -
an inflated nothing! It can't be weighted, measured
it's got no taste having neither scent nor smell
So what? Will you have the cards.
I'll keep the bank.
- Surely then a soul's not worth
playing for?
- As you wish, Mr. Kabat!
You must provide for your old age, remember!
- Thanks for your care, doctor.
Poverty and want are my bedfellows.
Those beauties could not live without me.
My whole wealth I carry on my back -
and if I hadn't a coat, I'd manage without.
- You know what, my friend?
Let's play for you coat then!
- A coat? Why not?
Well, it's got more holes than a tailor intended.
I can always stake it against ducats.
- I'll stake ten -
that's more than fair!
- Let's go, doctor!
- Let's play! Deal!
Get off!
Get lost!
- Enough.
- One more! - And a third.
- Too high!
My coat's in Hell. Enjoy it, doctor.
- You're as stupid as the rest, you worm!
- Oh, the bonds!
- What an idiot I am!
Two such lovely little souls - into the Devil's maw!
No, dammit! It mustn't be!
- Uhm! Hell's deceptions!
Out of here,
you shameless hussy!
Out of here!
- A rotten old bloke! The pick of the bunch -
blonds, darks and reds!
Ones thin than a fubsy one peaches the lot -
and Granddad only fumes and frowns!
- Well!
- Women are the root of all evil - women are the Devil's tool.
I can tell.
- He must have read that somewhere.
- No.
- I would... Ah!
- Oh, alas!
Wow...!
You shameless creature!
You immoral female!
- I'd rather be seducing ten young ladies than one old hermit!
- I that the way to treat a lady?
- Hey, where is everybody?!
- Your Highness!
Your Highness!
- Coming!
- He is handsome!
- Katie! - What is it?
- I'm afraid.
- Of what, Your Highness? Of a man?
- And now listen to me!
Your Princess has signed away her soul to the Devil!
- But... It's not true, you gossipmonger.
- It's true. Last night.
- Proof? - No, what proof?
I saw it with my own eyes!
- Dear me, and why did she do it?!
Why?
- Now, it's clear you don't know what women are like.
For a husband, of course.
- Where is... What?
For a husband?
If it's true, wanderer.
May fire and brimstone
consume her!
- I see
you're very strict!
- May the maw of Hell...
- Listen, hermit.
Maybe it's not too late.
We can't let the Princess and Katie...
- That depraved Katie, too?
May the Devil himself
for her...
- Come on, hermit
don't be so hasty!
The girls are young - their temperament runs away with them!
A young twenty year old body is worse than milk on a hot stove!
- Give Hell an inch and you're lost for ever!
- To be damned eternally
for a youthful folly?
- Stop your blasphemies!
If I say so, it's definitive!
- Why has God made us
so -
if we're to be punished for every slip?
- No one has to slip.
I'm sixty
and haven't slipped yet!
Undoubtedly Heavenly bliss
awaits me.
- You don't care what happens to these girls?
- I don't care a jot for anybody!
I don't care about the world?
Every man for himself - and the deil take the hindmost!
- Now I see! You are holy...
But you have no humanity!
And that's a big mistake!
- Don't offend, sinful vessel, and go your ways!
- I shall. But if God proves you right -
I'll be very much surprised.
- No, no! Go! Just go!
- May God bless you, Reverend hermit!
- Welcome, Angel Theophil!
Welcome. My first pleasant visitor!
- My Lord sends you your daily bread. - I know.
My humble thanks to the Almighty.
Glory to God in Heaven!
Just... this?
Glory! Glory!
You've been weeping, Angel -
And you angels don't miss anything.
You who spend your days in eternal bliss?
- The Princess and her handmaiden - have signed away their souls to Satan.
- So, it's true. They'll have to pay for it!
- But yesterday their souls were pure as lilies.
- Such immorality
must be punished.
There won't be any discipline in the world, soon.
Otherwise everybody would sin -
to his heart's content!
- But our Heavenly Father...
- I'm not entirely ignorant of Heavenly practice!
- But our Heavenly Father says
we should judge
mercifully. - What mercy?
The chaff must be separated from the wheat.
It's out of question!
Look at me!
I'm s hundred per cent wheat.
Haven't had a sinful thought for thirty years!
I properly restrained from physical lust.
How come
that I should be rewarded -
no better than a wanton girl?
- Still I think you are not altogether right.
- And I know that I am right!
You must be strict with people!
You'll be whipping yourself with an iron scourge
Where are you going?
- Such sentimentality
wouldn't take us far, Angel.
- Crown! Where's my crown?
For goodness' sake, where's my crown? The celebrations have started!
See that the fountains run wine!
Now! So that the groom shall see, we're not a poor lot!
- Your Majesty! Your Majesty!
- What's all the shouting? - You've forgotten your sceptre.
- I see.
Thank you very much.
- The King has promised
the Princess's hand -
to Prince Ismail of Solfernasia.
- Oh, oh...
- Katie, choose me...
...as your bridegroom!
- What position do you hold?
- I'm the chief one at Court.
- I'd prefer a simple cottar.
- I have a little place, too - a real dove - cote.
You'll like it there, Katie!
And I'll leave my service with the King.
- And have you some cows?
- Of course,
Swiss breed, specially imported!
Robber, out you come!
- What villain dares beard me in my den?!
- Come on out!
- Oh, it's our dragoon! Did you sleep the night at the Devil's Mill?
- To be sure I did.
- And did you play scat?
- Would I had never taken the cards into my hand!
- Damn it!
So you lost your soul?
- Not one, but two at once!
- Oh, gosh you're in deep trouble!
What are you doing about it? - I'll have to go
and get back the bonds.
- Take your body to join your soul, eh?
So that they'll have both pieces?
- Not my soul -
but two tender doves! I have shoved to devil's mouth!
- Females? - Yeah, female.
Two lovely young creatures! - Let them go!
They're all bound for Hell in the long run!
Be glad you've got off so lightly!
- I can't!
My conscience won't let me.
A man feels...
...he must do something...
...about it!
- Tell me, what is conscience?
A tight feeling here?
I've got that one, too. Just like you.
Whole nights I can't sleep for it. - That's it, robber!
That's why I must go!
- I'd give up this business,
if only I had a livelihood!
- If you have a conscience,
find yourself another job.
- You're a fool, dragoon!
When I say 'livelihood' I don't mean work!
That's why I started robbing people as a young boy,
so that I shouldn't do anything.
I'm not built for work.
- Oh, man... - I'd rather keep
my bad conscience.
- Lay off a day or two
and lend me your club.
- You're not going to steal my business?
- Not at all, you dull skull!
- I told you I must go to Hell, blockhead!
- Yes, but what about me?
Well, wait!
- So work's against the grain!
We'll see...
- Did you say something, dragoon?
- No. Probably an owl hooting.
- I'm beginning to hear things in broad daylight.
All right, you can have it.
Do you know how to handle this?
- With God's help, I'll be off!
- Good luck to you!
- You bring up a daughter...
...and then some strange man comes and... takes her!
- Quietly, Daddy! People are looking!
Hermit Scholasticus! That's nice of you!
- Heaven's blessing on you, Your Highness!
May you marriage be blessed with heavenly dew!
- Aaahhh!
- Fire brigade! Fire brigade!
Nobody can reign in this smoke! I cannot rule in this mess!
- Who are you?
Where's my bridegroom? Speak, you blockhead!
- But Katie, I'm the one!
- What are you talking about? You a bridegroom,
you mouldy old devil!
- Katie, look!
Well! Cottar... cows...
Swiss breed - specially imported!
- So that's how you
deceive a poor, honest girl?!
- Orders is orders, Katie.
- Hold me back, or I'll do something!
- Katie, have pity on an old devil -
I'm going eight hundred!
Aaahh!
- I want a proper husband!
Or you'll be sorry!
- What are you doing here, you earth - born worm?!
Move your flesh away, or...!
- Hark to him!
Just in time to get what's going!
- What on earth are you doing here, Katie?
- I want a husband - and no dodging!
You think only of marrying even in Hell?
- If you don't give me a husband - you'll have to marry me yourself!
- If nothing worse happens to us...
What about your soul, Katie?
- My soul? - Yeah, soul.
- Well, I haven't examine it yet, but I reckon...
In its proper place, I hope.
- I'm glad.
Where is Dr Solfernus?
Do you want it good way or bad way? Where is he?
- He's in a jam castle, on a plank mountain!
- Picking cow poo from a mare!
- Follow your nose! Smells like church yard.
Where is he, I ask you!
- Conferring with the Chief Beelzebub.
- We've heard about your wedding, Doctor.
Rather an unpleasant business!
- My dear colleague Belial, Love and romance
are not our line.
Bonds, souls - that's our stuff.
- And you've brought them?
- The bonds are here.
Kindly take a look at them, Sire.
- A good bit of work!
Very good!
- Saints alive, these are our papers!
- Shut up!
- Now we've got you, my pigeons.
Oh, what a wonderful feeling!
I just love it!
Back to the world, Solfernus,
quick! I want more souls!
I can never have enough!
I must devour the whole world!
- No, Satan, no you won't.
Old Nick won't get these ones!
- What is it?
- A man flesh.
- What's that mortal got to do in here?
- Fall on your knees and make obeisance!
- I'm too stiff in the knees
for such tricks!
- Tear him in pieces!
- Martin...! - No need to be afraid, Katie!
- Keep calm, Your Highness -
brute force is not our method. - What?
- Let us discuss the matter quietly, Mr Kabat.
The situation with the souls has changed a bit.
These bonds no longer belong to you -
they have passed into His Majesty's protection.
- At this moment they belong to me!
- Of course,
but you are entrusting them - to the representative
of the world's Top Power!
- Martin! - Not to you
or to the Arch - devil himself!
- But you'll hand them over to me.
In your own interest, you will hand them over.
- No, no!
- What are people coming to, these days?
- Don't give in, Martin! They're afraid of you!
If they weren't scared of you they wouldn't make such fuss.
- So you won't...
...give us the bonds?
- No, I won't.
- He won't! So!
- Do you know what fear is?
- I must confess I don't.
- I'll show you a little contraption -
the Outcasts' Couch!
An excellent thing! The latest invention of our specialists.
If you don't hand over the bonds...
you'll be burning and boiling on that bed in three minutes!
Kindly have a look.
- Martin! Martin...
- It must be something extra
to knock Katie out!
- Well, what about it?
Hand'em over!
I'll count three!
One...
...two...
...three!
- No, I won't, so there!
That's your whole trick -
to turn people
into frightened animals.
You think you can daze an honest man -
You think you can make me soft and dumb so easily that
terrify him into betraying two innocent lambs?
You think you can fool an honest man
and make him do your bidding?
- You...!!!
- I'd think shame to do any such thing!
Look!
That's it!
And that's that!
I've saved them and broken your power.
Now we can fight it out!
- Stay, Hell's powers!
- What do you want here, you white raven?!
- Martin Kabat, you're a just man.
The hell has no power over you!
Hand him over, or the Heavenly Cavalry will attack!
- Dragon loot!
Friends!
Sabres out!
So there's justice in the world after all!
- Katie?
Katie?
Hey, robber, how are things with you?
- Leave me alone. I'm not a robber any more!
I am thinking here!
- It's Martin Kabat -
hotfoot from Hell!
- Oh, is that you, dragoon?!
- Have you seen Katie anywhere around?
- I don't trouble myself about females!
- Well, yeah...
The poor girl
must have got left behind.
Well, what... Her soul is saved -
and she'll take care of her body all right.
- Where's my club?
- In the fight, I forgot all about it!
- How could you forget it? It was a souvenir.
Oh, come on!
- Yeah, a souvenir...
Oh, man,
they've got everything ready for you down below.
- For me?
- Yeah.
I even saw the special couch - ough!
Aaahhh!
- What kind of a couch?
- Like I was saying, there's a couch
And on it:
Sarka Farka, assassin and robber!
That's a hell of a couch!
- They know me by name?
- Yes!!! And against it, for every man murdered -
a great black cross!
- Ma... Ma... Ma... ...Ma... Martin, that is a lie!
I've never murdered anybody all my life!
- You two-tongued murderer! You told me so yourself!
- Only to frighten people!
I beat them
and robbed them -
but murder - no, Martin!
Not that!
- Tell that to the devils!
You know if you give a dog a bad name...
- I am an unfortunate man!
What was that about a couch?
- Yeah, that couch!
- Yeah.
- Oh, a terrible contraption!
It put me in a sweat only to look at it! Only to look...
- Ma... Ma... Martin, Martin, you sweated with fear?
- Yeah.
- For God's sake, Martin,
save me!
- Well, my old friend,
That's beyond my powers!
So long, robber! - Ma... Ma... Ma... Ma...
Martin! Ma... Ma... Ma... Martin! Martin, my friend!
I'll do anything you tell me - creep on my knees,
kiss people's feet!
You're the only one who can get me out if this!
Martin, my friend!
- And you think it's funny, Martin?
- I do! You see
I lied to the robber...
- No, you didn't.
- What? How's that?
- He'll end up on Hell's Couch!
- Get off!
You're joking, aren't you, Angel?
- He's too hardened a sinner.
- True, a dirty man that's what he is.
- On him lies a heavy burden of guilt.
- Shut him up,
give him a good licking, too -
but that Couch...
- What about it, Martin?
- I think what's too much is too much.
- But they wanted to stretch you on it.
- Well, yeah! They did!
Because they are inhuman wild beasts.
But a man... Even such villain like myself
couldn't bear to see that.
Angel, fly up and kneel at the Throne - and say:
- "Martin begs most earnestly...!"
And as for punishment - I'll see to that!
- For you, Martin, I'll fly straight away.
- Martin - oh, to be pardoned!
- Repent, robber, repent!
Your case is before the Highest Authority!
- Yeah? - He'll be here any minute.
- Who? - A friend of mine,
an Angel. - Ahh... Angel?
For Christ sake!
- This is more suitable for a penitent, what?
It's my wife's legacy.
- You look like a bridesmaid, you old cut - throat!
- Martin, your petition has been heard.
If only one of his victims forgive him -
so shall we!
Beg every passing by.
- For God's sake, good folk, forgive me...
- Stop that noise! There's nobody here yet.
- Aha! And what if nobody comes?
- You will kneel here for all eternity.
- Stop whining, please!
Come on!
- And for you, Martin, I bring this message: You can wish
three wishes - each will be fulfilled on the spot!
- No need for wishes, angel. It was nothing!
So, long!
- Angel! Please, dear folks
forgive me!
- For God's sake, dear folks...
- Get up and stop howling.
I'll forgive you that Hell's Couch.
- Angel! The dragoon has forgiven me!
- We know. You have been forgiven.
- And so he has a clean sheet?
- Thanks to you, Martin!
- Oh, no! I've other intentions!
- Only, we can't hand him over to you!
- Please, don't!
- Unless it were... - Unless what?
- Unless it were - one of your wishes.
- Of course it's my wish.
Now you'll do penance my way!
See that wheel?
- You want me to mend it, Martin?
- Not an idea.
I mean - turn it!
- Turn it - me?
- And quick about it! Move it?!
- What's up?
- A plague on it - what a labour!
It's got rusty hinges!
- Put some more muscle into it! Come on! Move it?!
- The d-d-dragoon!
- Let's beat it, or he'll hook us in, too!
What? - Let's get lost!
- Yeah!
- Ugh! Martin, I'm done...! Yuck!
- That's penance for you, angel, what? - Here you are!
Talking with a tramp - and me positively weak with hunger!
- Forgive me, I had to sing in the choir!
- Hmmm... - Do you remember the two maidens' souls?
I went to ask our Lord for?
- The Princess and Katie?
I hope Hell's fires are licking them!
- Not at all! They've been snatchet from the jaws of Hell -
And unless they spoil it for themselves,
and Heaven's gate is open to them.
- What? To these immoral creatures?
What are you talking about, Angel?
- That's true, hermit, my friend here is quite right!
- So! To the Heaven!
Raking, unclean whipper-snapper girls!
They will go to the same Heaven as I?
It drives me insane!
No, no, no, no, no! That would be unjust of God!
- Lucifer's pride prompts your words, hermit!
You have attired your soul with unmanly insolence!
Enter, Hell's powers!
- Just a minute!
- Well, then!
- It's a pity the mill should run empty.
If we had a nice pile of rye and wheat sacks,
so that we can mill something.
- Is it your wish, Martin? - Of course it is!
The hermit will carry the sacks of grain -
up to the backfill, everyday.
And learn once in this life what work is!
- Off you go, hermit, and get to work!
- Oh, Jesus!
- Go on! - What are you waiting for?
And you there - keep that wheel turning or...
- Well, Martin, you have made your decision
are you content?
- Yes,
if only I had something
for my pipe! - So be it!
- Holy smoke, that's service for you!
- I must be off to the Castle! - What there?
- To tell the Princess she'is pardoned -
and that her soul is pure as a lily.
- My greetings to her!
Will you know, my lassie...
- Martin!
Martin! I've cauting up on you at last!
- Katie, you gad - about, where have you been?
- Running all the way from Hell after you!
My dear Martin!
But now I'll never budge from your side!
- Are you crazy, Katie?
What should I do with you?
- Marry me!
You promised!
- A poor bargain you'd make -
tramping the world with me...
You would die from hunger!
- No more tramping! Put that into your pipe and smoke it!
At our cottage we need a good pair of hands.
- Angel, help!
- Help!
Angel!
- What's wrong now? One after another!
Flying here and there all the time!
- You called me, Martin?
- Friend, rid me of Katie!
It's my last wish.
- Too late for wishing now, Martin.
Your last wish was for a pipe full of tobacco.
Well...
- The deuce it was!
I saved the robber from Hell -
I saved the hermit from Hell -
and now I'm in for it myself,
Katie, with you!
- Martin!
My sweet Martin!
My darling!
The End
H
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House of flying daggers
House of the Dead
House of the Flying Daggers
Houseboat
How Green Was My Valley
How High
How The West Was Won 1962 CD1
How The West Was Won 1962 CD2
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
How to Beat the High Cost of Living
How to Keep My Love 2004
How to Murder Your Wife 1965
How to Steal a Million CD1
How to Steal a Million CD2
How to deal
Howards End
Hratky s certem
Hudsucker Proxy The
Hulk The - Special Edition
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Hum Kaun Hai
Hum Tum
Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam
Human Beast The CD1
Human Beast The CD2
Human lanterns
Hunchback of Notre Dame II The
Hunchback of Notre Dame The
Hundstage
Hundtricker the movie
Hungama
Hunger The 1983
Hunt For Red October CD1
Hunt For Red October CD2
Hunted The
Hunter The
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD1
Huozhe (Lifetimes) CD2
Huozhe CD1
Huozhe CD2
Hurricane 1937
Hurricane The CD1
Hurricane The CD2
Hyojadongibalsa 2004
Hypnosis (Saimin 1999)
Hypnotic Doctor Sleep
Hypnotist The 1999
Hypnotized The
Hypo-Chondri-Cat The (1950)