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If It Dont Fit Use A Bigger Hammer

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IF IT DOESN'T FIT, MAKE IT FIT
What the hell's going on?
God, look at these fucking bozos!|- They sure got some hot chicks!
I got guests to look after.
So I'm not running inside for a check.|I said I'd pay you,
and I will! Is that clear?|- Sorry, Mr. Wiesenkamp.
Tell your penny-pinching boss to add|fewer greens and more meat next time.
Dr I'll get another party service.|- Werner! - Just a sec ...
More meat. I'll tell him.|- Can you dance? - Yes.
Dance outta here!|- Werner!
Did you invite your trashy friends?|- What?
Look over there!
6 beers and 3 chasers!|- Shit, I forgot.
What's up? - Think of something!|They're so embarrassing!
Wake up, baby!
Hey, Astrid. I thought|you had to sort out your computer.
I'm earning a little money, okay?
You don't have to slave away|for old Wisenkamp.
It's enough if one of us|breaks his back for him!
I mean, if you need money ...|- Dad, I want to earn my own money!
What for? You got everything you need.
Is this a talk show or a beer bar?|- A boxing ring. Understand?
Horst, it's great to see you here.
What's the story?|We were supposed to do the patio.
Not today. We're celebrating.|Dver here, Kümmel and Kalle!
I've got some cold beers for you guys.
It's nicer here than outside|with those snobs. Take it, Kümmel.
If you want anything to eat, just yell|out the window! Handy, isn't it?
I'm moving in straight away, Werner.
Gotta look after those snobs again.|I'd rather get plastered, but ...
Hey, Werner. What's with that Polack?
What about him? - We need help.|Dr we won't be done in time.
You know what it costs.|- Shit, who let my mother out?
I'm gonna ask that bozo to marry me.|- He's the town councillor.
I gotta go. We'll talk later, guys.|And don't waste that beer!
You never turned down a drink before!
Werner!|- Heinz! You old crash pilot!
Say, Werner, I need to talk to you|about your dues ...
Have I shown you|my latest acquisition yet?
I don't believe it.|- An original Fokker DR?
That's absolutely incredible!
Those guys defended the Emperor's|air sovereignty with planes like this.
Sure thing.
Did I tell you that my old man was|with Richthofen in France? - Oh yeah?
One night they painted those planes|bright red!
That's an original bullet hole!|Incredible!
What's your mother|doing in the back yard?
How did she get out?|- No idea! She's getting worse!
Find her a room|in an old folks' home! - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah?|I should've married your brother!
You said he couldn't get a hard-on!|- But everything else was okay!
Mother, the coach is here.|- I'll see you at the altar. Bye!
Astrid!|Bring us a plate of hamburgers!
The fuck she will! - Want her to play|with that dingaling instead?
That bastard better keep his fucking|mitts off Astrid, or I'll do him in!
Thanks.|- You're welcome.
What are you doing at the party?|- Stripping.
Pardon? - Stupid question.|Earning money for college.
Hello ... Of course, you're welcome.
Do you have a room yet?|- No, I'm still looking for one.
Maybe you'd like to have my apartment.|It's empty.
How much?|- 1,300 marks without heating, etc.
- No, that's out of my league.
My father bought it as a tax write-off.|Maybe we could work something out.
No, forget about it.
What're you doing here?|- Come here, Philipp.
This is my uncle.|Eberhard, this is ... - Astrid.
My pleasure.|- Astrid's studying architecture too.
Philipp's the man to talk to.
He graduated top of the ...|- Uncle Eberhard! - Oh!
Did he mention he has a job in ...
It's still uncertain.|- We'll make it certain.
Sorry to kidnap Philipp ...
No problem. I have to work anyway.|Maybe I'll see you later.
Yes, maybe.|- I've been working on it.
Have him certify that you were an|intern at his company for 3 months.
I just need a signature.|- Let me do the talking.
Werner! This is Philipp.|- The wonder boy, huh?
Great party.|- I hope so. It sure cost enough.
Werner and I went to school together.|Was it 12th grade?
No, I dropped out after 10th grade.
After my old man died|I had to take over the company.
Right. I graduated with your brother.|- That asshole.
I heard he also made an offer|to build the kindergarten. - He did?
Let's not beat around the bush.|Take another look at my offer, okay?
You scratch my back.|I'll scratch yours.
Philipp, I've spoken to Werner|about your internship. - Really?
He graduated with honors.
Now he has a job|with Southeast Asia's best architects.
They built the towers in Kuala Lumpur.|- He's on his way up.
Just like his dad, a manager with|the Deutsche Bank in ... - Malaysia.
Right. And now those slit eyes|want a training certificate.
Who knows if they can even read it.
The conservative party is here too!|- Kurt, you're also here. Nice.
How convenient. We can continue|our debate on the airport expansion.
Eberhard, tell that dwarf|why we need a longer runway.
The new plane I'm getting|needs more room to roll.
I'll talk to the boy.|- Yes, uhm ...
So, you need a certificate?|- Yes, I thought ...
How much is 24 minus 8?|- 16.
You can have 16 hours of fun a day.|And you work 8 hours for me.
I happen to need somebody|at a construction site.
You start tomorrow morning at?
This is where you're hiding!
I don't feel like doing this shit!|- You think I do?
What did Philipp want from you?|- Who?
That stiff-assed guy over there.|- You know him?
He teaches the computer course|in our department. - Interesting.
Then he can install my computer.
All set? - It's all sorted.|You scratch my back ...
Then don't stand around like|Holy Boniface! Show your gratitude.
Yes, well, thanks.
We'll take care of that baby.
You can stuff your ''hired help''|up your ass!
I'd rather tie a millstone round|my neck than have him on my site!
He's the town councillor's nephew!|- I don't give a shit!
Even if he were the emperor himself.|Let me tell you something.
I've had it!|I'm gonna call it quits!
That choirboy can carry Gerda's purse,|but I won't let him on my site!
Where do I find the Polack?|- Show him the note.
Interstate A1 towards Cologne.|You know the Lichtendorf gas station?
Take the exit. The Polacks wait|behind the toilet, but only Mondays.
They're good workers and only cost|0.50 an hour. No insurance.
It's the cheapest you'll get.|- I'll take care of it.
THE MAYOR'S NEW HOUSE
Morning.|- Morning.
You can't park here, buddy.|- I'm meeting Mr. Wiesenkamp.
Ah!|- On-the-job training.
Going on vacation?|- I suppose you could say so.
Where to?|Kuala Lumpur.
Oh, Majorca? I just got back.|Leave your car here.
Great weather there. Not like here.|92 degrees by 8:30 a.m.
This time I didn't stay at El Arenal.|I was more inland.
And not a fucking soul. Wonderful.
Morning.|- Morning.
Just look at that!
Top-quality construction.|It's for the mayor.
Great solution for the roof.|- Yeah. But this is even greater.
C'mon, let me show you this.
Here, isn't this wonderful?|Isn't it wonderful?
Last Sunday there were 15 of us in it.|It's a whirlpool.
Now you gotta see this ... Morning!
To the left, left, left ...
To the right, right, right ...
Drop it. Yep!
We're practicing for ''Make a Bet.''|The working atmosphere is perfect.
Mr. Wiesenkamp!|- What's up?
It's me Philipp. I wanted to talk ...|- ... it's gotta be finished!
What's up?|- The new trainee.
We already have a trainee.|- I arranged it with Mr. Wiesenkamp.
Nobody's arranged anything with me.|Dr do you mean Werner Wiesenkamp?
Yes, I believe his name is Werner.
Congratulations, my boy. You're working|for my brother's chaos team.
Those nuts are next door.|Show him, Jochen.
Just wait.|You'll really see the difference.
I got a bank appointment.|So keep it moving!
Listen, the other guys|are okay too.
Morning!
Hey, Jochen, you old rascal!|Back from Majorca?
Yep. I was inland this time.
I tell you ... wonderful! Wonderful!
What's this all about?
Jochen, we got some sacks of cement.|Can you come over with the crane
and take 'em off?|- Nothing doing! We need it ourselves!
Just swing it over here for 5 minutes.|- Sorry,
but it's 'cause of insurance coverage.|If something happened to you guys ...
Yeah, 'course!
Forget it!|- But I got something else for you.
Oh shit!|That asshole's all I needed!
I'm meeting Mr. Wiesenkamp.|- He'll be here in 2 hours.
You can come over here|and unload sacks of cement!
Let's see|if that wimp shows up again tomorrow.
I just hope the teachers get lost.|I want a drink.
We'll be finished with foundation|tomorrow. - ''The'' foundation!
''Foundation'' is a noun.|- When we've poured the ''noun,''
we can put up wall.|- Mr. Kümmel.
You have to come to dinner.|Arno is such a good cook.
And I can teach you some grammar.|- That Turk oughta learn some German.
You'll learn.
I'm afraid we have to go.|Lessons are starting. - Too bad.
Oh yeah, that's too bad.
How do you say ''goodbye'' in Turkish?
Fuck off, you pimp!
We'll see you tonight.|Together we'll find a way
to seal the foundation.|- Urte, remember what Helmut said.
The foundation needs to breathe.|- Goodbye! - Bye, Philipp!
And try the cake.|The kids in my class made it.
Bet it's delicious.
Bye!|- Get lost, you spastics!
Man, I'm really gagging for a drink!
Bye!|- Goodbye!
Just make sure you piss off!
Have you guys lost it?
A present for you guys!
No! Have you lost it? I'll show you!
Look what you've done!|Oh no! That wonderful beer!
We keep our bottles in there!|You can't do that!
Jesus! The mixer is our cooler!
But you don't learn that|at college, do you?
Know what? You can go get us|some more bottles right now!
Morning.|- Hi, what're you doing here?
Nothing special. Just riding around.|What about you?
What's going on here?|- Morning, Dad. - Morning.
What're you doing here?|- Just wanted to see how it's going.
Well, now you know.|It's a construction site. Move it!
Didn't you say you had a great job?|- Shoveling sand's a great job.
I'm doing my internship here.
Great. So that means|you'll be here longer?
Yeah, we'll probably have him|on our backs for a whole month.
Get to work!
Hey, Philipp ...|do you know much about computers?
Of course.
Would you like to come by tonight|and help me install some software?
That'd be a pleasure.|- I bet! You can't even
hammer a nail into the wall, but|you act like you're a computer expert.
Get to work! As for you,|you can fix your computer by yourself!
Nobody ever helped me neither!
See you tonight, Philipp.
Listen carefully.|Hands off my daughter! Got it?
A new ticket?|Can't I just change flights?
I don't care. I have to ...
What's going on? Gimme that!
You can pick it up after work!|Listen ...
I'm responsible here.|Now take this ... lt's not finished!
For Chrissake's!|And make sure it's safe!
Where are you going with that?|Never Never Land?
To the saw. The board is too long.
If it doesn't fit, make it fit!
Horst!|- What's up, boss?
C'mere!
How's it going? - We gotta pour|the concrete, then we're finished.
I got something for you.|- What?
A good idea with the Polacks.|- Just what I said.
I got him. C'mon, Marek.|Hands off. You work here.
This is Marek and this is Horst.
Hi, me Horst. Me foreman.|- Ah, Polish?
Yeah, it's okay.
No, buddy. This is Boss No. 2.|I'm Boss No. 1. Understand?
You work here.|- Yep, c'mon.
Keep him hidden. I don't want|my brother to know everything.
Right?|- Sure.
In case of an emergency,|call my cell phone.
What could go wrong?|- Something's stolen, it's in Poland!
10 kilos of steel.
Okay, guys.
Let's get started.
Hello.|- What's up?
Has Mr. Wiesenkamp left already?|- Why d'you care?
Is the scaffolding finished?|- I have to talk to him!
You don't have to do anything!
This is Marek. He's gonna be working|with us, so keep an eye on him.
Sure, can you lay bricks?|- Bricks?
Bricks ... wall.
Don't stand there like a dwarf!|Get up there
and make some mortar.|But make it snappy!
Take the beers out first.
What the hell! Are you feeding|the animals? This is how you do it!
There! You don't learn that|at college, do you?
But you don't care, do you? Us workers|pay for everything. - Right.
Listen, I'll tell you once more.|For every bucket of water,
shovel in 10 parts of gravel,|10 parts of sand, 5 parts of cement.
Now you know what to do.|Run after my daughter!
My cell phone, please.|- I beg your pardon!
5 o'clock, time to knock off.|- I still decide
when you drop your hammer.|- This is all just a misunderstanding.
I came to talk to Mr. Wiesenkamp,|but maybe you can have him sign this.
Shit!|- What's going on?
The Polack fell down.|- How could that happen?
How do I know? We were working,|and suddenly the idiot fell down!
You were supposed to secure|the scaffolding!
Shit!
Hey, he's a goner.
We gotta give him first aid!|- What? - Mouth to mouth!
Why me?|- C'mon, do it, Kalle!
No! No way!|- Then feel his pulse!
What fucking pulse?|- Dn his hand or neck!
Where? His hand or his neck?|- His hand, for all I care!
Right or left?|- You're driving me nuts! Make room!
Shut up!
He's a goner. - I said so.|- Do something! - Hey! - Philipp!
911 is arriving.
What an idiot!
Philipp, get down here and work!
But!|- No buts!
Get to work!
What's up? We got a call|that someone had an accident.
No, I just fell off the scaffolding.|That's all.
It sounded more like|somebody'd kicked the bucket.
I just bruised myself.
You're fucking me over ...|- Just keep your trap shut, okay?
It happens to me in soccer|all the time.
Hey, guys. He's a clown.|He likes to exaggerate.
Tell your clown not to make|such a big deal out of it next time!
We don't come here for fun.|- Absolutely!
Okay?
Okay, what now?|- What d'you mean?
You tell us. We didn't hire|that Polack! - Slow down!
Let's go through this.
All I know about him is|his name's Marek and he's from Poland.
He probably has no work permit ...
... and he isn't insured.|- None of us is insured, Werner.
Listen, it was an accident!|It could've happened to anyone!
It isn't our fault.|It was a fuck-up, that's all.
If we report the accident,|the police'll have lots of questions.
And if they look at my books,|you know what that means.
It makes me wanna puke!|- Where is he anyway?
Mr. Wiesenkamp ...|- What's up, Philipp?
The scaffolding ...|- What about it?
Nothing! There was nothing wrong|with the scaffolding!
The Pole put up the scaffolding|all by himself. - Okay.
What about his family?|- What?
His family will want to know.|- Listen here, asshole! - Cool it!
Leave me alone! This guy|has been bugging us for a while.
I have a family too.|3 kids from 2 women.
If I lose this job, that's it!|Who'll take care of my brats?
Stop it! What's the point in yelling|at each other!
He needs to understand what it means|to earn a living!
I thought ...|- What?
Nothing.|- Forget it, Kalle.
He's got the message.
Will they be able to trace him to us?|- I don't think so.
We're the only ones|who know he's here.
Oh, really?
Don't think I don't value your silence.
Here's 20 grand.|The money was for your uncle, Philipp.
I can help you when you graduate.|- I think that Philipp
is already well taken care of.
Aren't you?
Well, it's yours.
What's up, guys?|- Werner, don't get us wrong, but
we haven't gotten our overtime pay.|- And our holiday bonus.
Exactly ... yeah ...
I don't want to take advantage,|but I think
each of the guys could do|with a little help.
What were you thinking of?|- 50 grand.
C'mon, Werner don't give us that shit|about how bad business is going!
Serve a crate of beer at your|next party instead of champagne.
But you'll get rid of the body.
Shit, he won't fit in the hole.
If it doesn't fit ...
make it fit.
There you go ... fits perfectly.
Shouldn't we say a prayer?|- What kind of prayer?
I don't know. Something or other.
Let's have a moment of silence.
Ashes to ashes.
So here's to ... what was his name?|- Marek.
Here's to Marek!
2,500 ... 3,500 ... 4,500 ... 5,500.
That oughta be enough.|- Greedy Pole.
Listen, what're you gonna do|with your share in Poland?
I'll buy little house.
A whole house for 5,500.|I'm coming with you.
Just make sure you're gone tomorrow!
No problem. Gone tomorrow.|- I hope so.
My share's gone before I can spend it.|- What d'you want me to say?
Hello.|- Hi.
Is your dad here? - You wanted|to fix my computer, didn't you?
Oh yeah.
Wanna come in?|Dr shall I bring it downstairs?
How was your first day at work?
Strenuous?
Wanna listen to some music?
Everything ok?|- Is this the software?
Auto CAD 2000 ... Don't even have it|myself. - A girlfriend copied it.
You know that's illegal.
I had to work 6 months to buy my PC.|I can't afford any expensive software.
Did you de-install the old version?|- The computer's brand-new.
Oh yeah.
Who wants more booze?|- Bring everything you got!
When you need a tool,|you click this toolbar. - Yeah.
Cool. Thanks. I'll manage the rest|on my own. - Okay.
Philipp ... is something wrong?
No, why? The computer works.|- That's not what I meant.
I didn't want to use you,|if that's what you think.
I wanted to talk to your dad.|- Did he give you a hard time? - No.
So what's the problem?
At the construction site today ...
Philipp, I didn't know you were here.|What a coincidence.
Can't you knock first, Dad?|- Sorry, angel.
We gotta talk.|Amongst men. DK?
Thanks for ...|- Her mother died 2 years ago.
The last thing she needs|is a wimp like you
giving her all kinds of bullshit!
We already helped you|out of a jam today,
my friend.
Alright? Now pull yourself together,|damn it! Is that clear?
I just wanted to ... - Shut up!|And keep your hands off my daughter!
That way we'll get along|all right at work.
If you weren't the town councillor's|nephew, you'd be in big trouble.
Good night.|- Hey, have you lost it?
Angel.|- I've had it, Dad.
If you ever kick out|one of my friends again,
there's gonna be big trouble.|Is that clear?
What's going on there?
Why's that guy fiddling around|with our building site?
Hey, pal! Quo vadis?|- Huh? - What's up?
Tell your boss to pay his debts.|Then he'll get his machines back.
What's up, Werner?
Listen, I'm broke.|- What d'you mean ''broke?''
In appears with your payments?|- Not just my payments!
I'm finished.
Don't look at me like that! Those|bank bastards won't extend my loan!
It looks like|I gotta declare bankruptcy.
Stop shitting about, Werner!|- There's nothing I can do.
I'll fire you and tomorrow you can|claim your unemployment benefits.
Philipp, I'll just sign your|certificate, okay? - Then what?
No idea, men. I just don't know.
You know, the 50 thousand ...
Forget the 50 thousand.
I'm no businessman.|I have to work with my hands.
In school,|I was no good with figures either.
My brother needs a few guys. Ask him.|At least it's the same company.
Hey, Werner, the two of us used to|work until our backs were breaking,
while that guy lived it up|at college.
If it weren't for you, the company|would've gone bust long ago.
All these years, you took care|of your mother by yourself.
And that bastard|washed his hands of it.
Your father'd roll over|in his grave if he knew
how your brother tore the company|apart. I'd rather be unemployed
than so much as lift my little finger|for that traitor!
How right you are, Horst.
Hey, if we're able to put up|this house on time,
you'll get the contract|for the kindergarten, right?
Would that get you outta the red?|- At least it would look better.
Why are we wasting time jabbering?|Let's go! - But the material!
Hey, I'll go see my brother-in-law.|There's always a way.
We don't have to use|those expensive natural materials!
What about you, Philipp?
What about him?|Of course he'll help us.
You learned how to pour|a foundation yesterday,
didn't you?
I can't pay you a thing at the moment.
Who cares! We haven't gotten paid|lately anyway. - It's about the company.
And our future.
You're great, guys. Let's go.
Just like the good old days!
Hey, Dieter, you boozer!|You okay? - Hi, Kalle.
Still screwing my sister?|- Did you guys dump that shit yet?
You bet! All properly dumped.|Nobody'll find it in 100 years.
Great.|- Hey, Dieter, you old rascal!
Know what I need?|- Nope. - lnsulation material ...
... for peanuts.
Optimal insulation and just a small|amount of asbestos.
How much?|- Really very little asbestos.
I wanted to know how much it costs.|- I see.
See this stuff ...
If you take this stuff with you,|I'll give it to you for free.
Shit! Shit!|- My car can't help it!
Is he outta his mind?
Have you completely lost it?
Hi, pal! - Why aren't you in Poland?|- I'm on my way!
If the old guy sees you here ...|- Of course, pal! - Get in and go!
Move it! Get outta here!|- Sure, pal. Already in Poland.
Jesus!
Hey! Werner!
Werner, open the window!|I got a super deal!
What's up?|- Oh, Mr. Wiesenkamp.
Isn't that Werner's car?|- It was his car!
A real bargain!
Hey guys, lunchtime.|I brought you something.
A kebab, a sausage and fries.|You still got beer.
And Fanta for a stud mix.|- We just sent somebody to get lunch.
You'll eat twice then.|I figured if I can't pay you,
at least I won't let you starve.|Catch, Kümmel!
What about you, Werner?|- Got some business to take care of.
Hey, you rascal. - I borrowed|Gerda's BMW. It drives real well.
Unload it! - Take it easy, Kalle.|The guys're having lunch.
Get down here, darling. Werner|bought us a round. - Yeah, but he ...
What's that?
Somebody buried a boiler.|- We gotta dig it out.
The foundation goes in a meter.
Fucking shit!|- Hello!
It's about time you got here!|- Be careful. It's slippery.
I fell down myself.|- Leave him alone!
''Goodbye, you bloody Krauts.''|USAF
Who wrote that shit?|- Who cares! Keep digging!
Stop!
It's a bomb!
US Air Force.|It's a dud from World War II.
We've gotta call the bomb removal squad.
It could take ages for them to come!|- We don't have the time!
Here's the bomb.|We'll bury it again and presto!
We'll make the whole house|1 meter shorter.
We can't change the architect's plans.|It could influence the statics.
Hey, college wise-guy!|Don't tell me about statistics!
Nobody'll notice anyway. And we'll|save time and building materials.
See you tomorrow.
Philipp ... - Yeah?|- It's great to have you here.
Sure thing.|- No, it isn't.
The company isn't your problem.|See you tomorrow.
Where to?|- Münster.
Okay, see you tomorrow.|Drive safely.
C'mon, we wanna go home, too!
Hello, Philipp!
We did a good job.|- What about that?
Just look, Kalle. lt's all okay.
Hey there! Is this|the Schmidt-Hevenbroich site?
Yeah. - Where d'you want the prefabs?|- What?
The standard set ''Peaceful Forest,''|100 percent natural materials.
Shit. How should I know|he ordered prefabricated walls?
The standard set ''Peaceful Forest.''
Let's carry the walls down.|C'mon.
So this is supposed to be the door.
I can't get through. How about you?
Me neither.
Why not, huh?
That natural homes company|built the house 1 meter too long.
Just a sec. I'll manage it.
''Peaceful Forest'' ...|I love you, peaceful forest!
Arno, the catalogue, please.|- Here you are.
I'm not sure.|Somehow I have the feeling ...
... that the proportions|look different here.
You think so? ...|No, look here ...
Everything looks much nicer, bigger|and better in this catalogue.
They use special lenses.|- Could we measure it to make sure?
Hey, Kümmel! What's taking so long?
The Schmidt-Hevenbroichs|have to correct dictations.
Hey, Arno.|This is supposed to be the bathroom.
We'll never get|Grandpa's wheelchair through this.
It could be tight.
Here, I finally found measuring tape.|- ''The'' measuring tape, Mr. Kümmel.
It's a noun,|and in this case accusative.
Philipp.|- Thank you.
Okay, Arno. Let's start measuring.|Will you take this end? - Sure, Urte.
I'm here.
Is it precisely on the edge?
You can bet your booties!
10.4 meters.
It's exact.
Yep.
Want to ride through the countryside?|- Good idea, Urte.
I need some chestnuts|for my crafts class tomorrow.
Bye!|- Bye!
Have fun looking for chestnuts.
Are you nuts? You can't just|change the building plans!
Take it easy, man.|We're building this house, aren't we?
Don't you forget it!|Anyway, there's a bomb down there.
What bomb?|- Dropped from a plane or something.
About 1.05 m long, 80 cm in diameter?|- Yeah, approximately.
Hey, that's a 10-ton demolition,|5-ton magnesium-TNT mixture.
If you'd said something, Horst,|I'd have defused that bastard for you.
And you should have told us that|we were building this house
with prefabricated parts!|- Calm down, guys.
Everything went great.|Those health nuts didn't notice.
Health nuts! The architect's supposed|to inspect it tomorrow!
Heinrich has approved|every house we've made.
Only 'cause I bribed him!
But this house was drawn up|by one of the health nuts' brother!
Don't look at me like an idiot!|I'm a goner!
The company's done for.|At least, it was worth a try.
Pack up all the stuff,|and let's get outta here.
Either the house is too short,|or the plans are too long.
Shut up, wise ass!
Leave the boy alone, Horst.|It isn't his fault.
Maybe I can help you.
How?|- By adjusting the plans.
We'd just have to foist them|on the architect.
Him again!|- You can do that?
With the proper computer
and the proper software.
Listen here, you asshole!|I know exactly what you're after!
He wants to bang my daughter!|But let me tell you,
I'd rather spend my life unemployed|than allow you to stick your dick
in my daughter!
I don't wanna be unemployed.|- Me neither.
Horst, pull yourself together.|Philipp is our only chance.
Philipp, I'll drop you at Astrid's,
and you guys clean up the site!
ls that clear? And while you're at it,|plant the boundary stone.
C'mon, Philipp!
Philipp, you're a great guy!|You got the right idea!
Never give up!
Before I slit my guts,|I'd rather do it like the kamikazes.
If I go down, I take it all with me.|It's how to get ahead. ln love, too.
Yes?|- Am I disturbing you? - No.
I wanted to ask you something.|- Yes?
We had a little problem at the site.|Could I use your computer?
Yeah, sure. Come in.|- Thanks.
Couldn't you call beforehand?|- It only just came up.
Where was your computer?
Here.
Will it take long?|- It could take a few hours.
Yes, well ... I'll take a shower.
What did they pay for the plot?|- One square meter costs 20 marks.
Hurry up! I wanna go home!
You click here ...
Pull this line over here,|and this section is enlarged.
Now we have to make the wall thicker.|We can do that in ...
menu.
Am I boring you?
No, it's really interesting.
Want to try it yourself?|- Yeah ...
Okay ... what do I do now?
Keep your finger on the mouse.
How? Can you show me again?
Like this.
Like this?|- Yeah.
What's wrong?
I have to finish this.
We need it tomorrow morning,|and I'll be working on it all night.
How about tomorrow evening?
Tomorrow evening?
Okay.
Then I'll go to bed.
What d'you say? Time to go home?
Horst, don't you think Astrid is|old enough to take care of herself?
She's probably taking care of|something else right now.
Assholes!|I'm off!
You're still here.|- I just finished.
Finished.|- Good. Then it's time to go.
Hi, what are you doing here?
May I come in?|- Sure.
I couldn't stand it at home.
Mind if I sleep here?
Philipp?|- Yes?
Would you bring me a towel?|I don't have one.
I'll put it here, okay?
You murderer!
Is this ours?|- It's for the architect. - Flawless!
Don't get too excited, you guys.|- A bit too flawless!
There we are!
Let the architect come!
Let me take that for you!
This is supposed to be the bathroom?
It's a bit small, isn't it?
We only stuck to your plans.
Don't know what you think, but...
they taught us to put the toilet|at least 90 cm away from the door.
I'll give you a hint for the future.|If you want to be a famous architect,
then develop your own style.
Nothing daring about 90 cm.|Run-of-the-mill townhouse style.
Don't be so narrow-minded!|Thinking ''one-to-one'' makes me sick!
''Thinking one-to-one makes me sick!''
That was great, Philipp!
The best part was when that bastard|scratched his twerpy car backing out!
Here, kid. Down the hatch!|- No alcohol!
Philipp, I wanna get rat-arsed|with you. - But tonight ...
No more studying tonight!|Tonight we're getting drunk!
Work's over! Come on!|Let's drink!
You saved the company.|Now you deserve a beer! - To Philipp!
One more beer,|there's room for one more!
What's wrong, Philipp? Gotta puke?|- Not in my trailer!
D'you think he can hear us?|- Who?
Marek. - Who?|- He means the Pole.
When I was little, I thought my dead|grandma could see everything I did.
Then she probably watched you|jacking off, huh?
Loser!
That's normal. We've gotta|initiate you. - I gotta go home.
Nothing doing!|You're going on our round with us!
The full monty!
Leave the door open.
Oh sweetie, you're still awake?|- Was it nice?
We had reason to celebrate.|- Sure, you always do.
Where are you going?
Keep the change.|Now we're gonna have fun!
Hey, Horst! You got money?
Okay, man.|- C'mon, guys!
Hey, Kalle. Got a cigarette for me?
For you, always!
C'mon, prickheads!
Who're you talking to?
You talking to me?|- Not you.
Who then?|- Him.
I'll beat the shit outta you!|Fuck off!
Leave him alone.|- Loser!
C'mon.|- You heard what he said to me.
Hey ... you think that was okay?
Haven't you had enough?|- C'mon!
That wasn't nice of you!|You can't just punch me!
Have you lost it?
No, you guys have lost it!
You guys don't even know me!|There are wars everywhere
with people hitting each other!|That's just crap!
He's completely off his face!|- No, I'm not!
What d'you want? - That you say it was|shitty to do that. - Fuck him!
You think you're real cool now, huh?
Fuck the idiot!
Got a light?|- C'mon!
Spastics!
Where were you? We're waiting.|Who did that?
Was it him? ... Hold this.
You fucking asshole! Stay there!
No, I'm going in now.
No entry for minors under 18!
Where've you been?
What happened to you?|Come here.
There were these guys|who were really asking for it.
Hey, Philipp!|I punched 'em right in the face!
That young guy?|- Yeah, how much?
What should I do?|- Basic treatment. No extras.
That student won't notice anyway.
Hey there!|- You mean me? - Yeah.
Come here!
Yes, please?
Do me a favor and open your blouse.
Hello ...
I'm staying in|and working on my computer.
You have take your clothes off.
How much?
At least your trousers.
Nice picture.|- Thank you.
Is that you? - Wanna fuck or chat?|- Fu ...
Fuck.|- Well then!
Did you paint that?
Don't be nervous. lt's just sex.
I'm not nervous!|- No? - Shit!
I just punched two guys,|and last week I finished off a guy!
A fucking Polack!|Sawed him up and buried him in cement!
I killed him. I sawed him up|and buried him in cement!
Here, nearly 50 minutes.|- Probably fucking himself blind.
Here he comes.|- Hey guys,
am I going blind, or what?
Hey, Marek!|- Excuse me, please!
What's up? - Hi, friends!|- What're you doing here?
How are you? - What d'you mean?|Are you nuts? What're you doing here?
I wanted to drive home yesterday.|- Why didn't you?
My car is broken down.|- And now I'll break you down!
Cut the shit, Kalle!|- Listen here!
Wiesenkamp is a regular here!|What if he sees you?
Shit, I didn't know.|- ''I didn't know!''
I wanted to meet pretty German women.|- You can fuck all day in Poland!
Everything okay?|- No problem!
What do you mean ''tack, tack?''|- I'm gone tomorrow.
What's going on?
Everything okay!
Listen, there are three of us!
Hey, Philipp. What're you doing here?
I'm here with my buddies.|- Why didn't you say so?
We're studying architecture together.
You're lucky, big guy!
Everything okay? Did it go well?
Take care, guys!
Come back!|- What are we doing next?
Nothing. We gotta get up early.
Philipp, you sleep at my place.|I got a comfy spot for you.
Can you hear me?
If you can hear me, I understand|that you won't open the window.
I'm sorry.|I was out with the guys.
I've been through a lot of shit|in the last few days.
If I've treated you badly,
I want you to know|that it has nothing to do with you.
I love you.
Listen, are you off your rocker?
Good night.
I'm grounded?
How should I put it,|Mr. Wiesenkamp?
Are you trying to fuck me over?|Let's get our priorities right, DK?
I built this place. This used to be|a moldy little garden shed
where you sold greasy fries|with plastic forks!
I'm going to my plane,|whether I pay dues or not!
Werner!|- Heinz, good to see you.
Know what this jerk told me?|- Yes, Werner ...
You gotta realize,|this isn't easy for us.
At the board meeting yesterday,|we decided ...
... same rules for everyone.|- Hey, Heinz!
Know where|the registration forms are?
Brockmann has a new member,
a Pole who earned a fortune|on the stock market.
Let's measure it.
Here, kid. Counter it with a beer.|Works better than aspirin.
I can't remember a thing.|- It's probably better, Philipp.
Where were we anyway?
Morning, Astrid. - Morning.|- Everything okay, angel?
Listen, we were wrong about Philipp.
He drank us all under the table!
And at the whorehouse ...|he screwed that whore into a coma!
What did I do?
You asshole!
Sorry, Philipp.
Shit!
Morning. Is this Werner Wiesenkamp's|building site? - Yeah ...
Nobody is allowed to leave the scene.
What's up? - Some whore reported that|a dead body was buried in cement.
I'll handle it.|- Bullshit!
When a crime is committed ...
It's my fault!
Officer!|- Stop it, Philipp!
I've had enough!|I'm to blame for the Pole's death!
This student has a bad case of|mental diarrhea.
These guys are innocent! I sawed|him up and buried him in cement!
You fucking assholes!|I'm gonna kill you!
I trusted you!|You want to save the company! Crooks!
Calm down!
Calm down! - We've found something!|- I'm okay.
Does it smell like decay?|- No!
More like used oil!
What's in there?|- Philipp ...
We didn't bury Marek.|- He isn't even dead.
What? - We just made it up|to get Werner's money.
The whole time you let me think|I caused Marek's death?
What's going on here?
THIS BUILDING SITE IS CLOSED.
Let me make this clear. The only|reason I'm giving you a chance is
because you gave me the satisfaction|of seeing my brother fall.
And don't try that shit on me.|Here you have to work.
If you show up late,|or if I catch you drinking,
or if you fuck up in any way,|you'll be out on the street.
If you want to get paid,|I want to see work. Have I made ...
Have Jochen take the pots to|the airport. Just right for the patio.
Yes.
Hello ... how's it going?
Open up, you bastard!
Open up!
Dr I'll bash your head in!|And I'll bash yours in too, Gerda!
Stop! Stay where you are!
Don't!
Where's my brother? That pig?|- In his house on Majorca.
I only look after the yard.|Please, please!
Hello, angel.
Dear Astrid,|I don't know how to say this ...
Astrid wants to move out.
To a girlfriend's place.
It's the right thing to do.
Be happy. Your daughter|is taking charge of her life.
Yeah, Horst. She's no longer your|angel who throws the mower in the pond
or stuffs Jelly Bears up her nose.
Maybe you're right.
What happened to you, Werner?|Want to come in and shower?
You want something to eat?
Wow, Astrid. You sure have grown.
Does Horst still have my arc welder?
Ah, there it is.
D'you need this?|- What d'you want it for?
Nothing big. I'm gonna weld|an old aerial bomb to my Cessna,
fly to Majorca and drop|on my brother and ex-wife
like a kamikaze pilot. That's how you|get ahead in life and love, kid.
Okay, take it. But leave the island|in one piece. I want to go there, too.
Thanks, Astrid.|- You're welcome, Werner.
Isn't it wonderful|that you're here now!
We're finally starting to have fun.|- Loads of fun.
I'm already fed up|with all this piecework.
You'll get used to it.|- Maybe you will.
Now I know why you're always|on holiday. - Holiday? Just a sec.
4 years ago I was in the Black Forest.
Why the Black Forest?|- Holiday pay from Wiesenkamp?
What about your house on Majorca?|- I was just kidding you on.
What for?|- 'cause you guys pissed us off!
We were working our asses off|while you guys were having fun!
That's right!
Have you guys gone completely crazy?
We've all been fired.
Is this where you were with Philipp?
You've really fallen in love, huh?
APARTMENT FOR RENT
Hi, Philipp.|- Astrid.
I washed your clothes for you.|- Thanks.
Oh yeah ...
I found this in your pocket.
And this here.
I didn't have any money on me.|- I know.
My dad told me. That whore|must've given you back the money.
Shit.
Wanna go and eat something?
Okay.
What do you feel like eating?|- I don't care. You decide.
Okay, I think this is yours.
Better than sitting at ''Bella Italia''|with all the other students.
And better than the Chinese restaurant|with the plastic Buddah.
At least they have loads of parking.
If you don't know what to do,|just stay tuned ...
You have to hold the sticks tight|with your thumb ... like this.
We should've taken|the plastic forks instead.
But you have to be able to use them|if you're going to Kuala Lumpur.
Have you packed everything already?|- I'll do it tomorrow.
I bet it's really nice there.|- Sure.
Asia is becoming a very interesting|economic center.
All the big US and European companies|have branches there.
Shit!
''A new place brings new happiness.''
The Chinese are clever people.
It's your turn.
Well?
''You choose the place|where your heart is at home.''
It's just ...
... a strange feeling|to move away from home.
Because of your father?
You have to live your own life.
I always did what others wanted ...|my parents, my teachers, my uncle.
Everyone wanted the best for me,|but nobody asked me what I wanted.
So I'm not going to take the advice|of a stupid cookie!
You don't believe what it says?
It makes sense, doesn't it?|- Sure, it does.
They don't write:|Go 200 meters, then right,
dig down 2 meters|and you'll find Capt. Hook's treasure.
You think the cookie manufacturer|gives a damn about these fortunes?
They just want to rip us off.|Like with this food. I ordered prawns.
But I can't even find|a single deep-frozen shrimp.
It's just some unidentifiable junk,|probably dog or cat.
It's so spicy, it's killing my tongue!|- Philipp!
It makes me puke to think I'll be|eating this stuff for a while!
But the boy is on his way to the top,|just like his father ...
''A new place brings new happiness!''|Fuck their wise sayings!
I don't want a fucking cookie|to ruin our whole evening!
I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to tell you|I don't want to leave.
And I have your sweet-and-sour prawns.
''A new place brings new happiness?''
''You choose the place|where your heart is at home.''
What's that?
That was probably Wiesenkamp|flying to Majorca with his bomb.
What?
Wiesenkamp has to get the bomb first.|Tell the guys to go to the site.
Telephone.
It's not for me.
We wanna go see Mommy!|- Look at the cute little crocodile!
Where were you, Dad?
Get to the site!|Wiesenkamp wants to bomb Majorca!
Werner!|- Stop this shit, Werner!
Outta the way!|- He has the bomb!
Don't ruin your life!|- Ruin my life?
My company's bankrupt!
I'm up to my neck in debt!|My wife's gone off with my brother!
We promised Dad the company'd survive!
We promised him on his deathbed!
Ruining my life?|Get away! Get outta here!
Get outta there, Werner!|- I'll drop the bomb!
I'll blow you all up!|I don't give a shit!
Shit!
The bomb!
Shit!
Would've surprised that lot in Majorca!
What's that down there?
Might be an old mine.
Hey, cool! lt's a real mine!|- I told you so!
This is a coal mining region!|Understand?
Hey, there's a tunnel!
Are you nuts?|- Sorry, Werner.
Everything's rotten here.|- Exactly!
My grandpa mined for coal, too.|Let's go, but be careful!
There could be enemies lurking|behind any pillar!
Stop shoving, Horst!|- Okay.
Ouch!
Here's a door.|- So what?
It's closed off.
Shit!
Hey, guys, it's a dead end.
Too bad. - Let's go back.|- C'mon. This goes nowhere.
We've gone east the whole time, right?
How can you tell which way is east?
About 50 meters. So we must be under|the mayor's villa.
So what? You wanna drill through his|basement and decorate the place? - No,
but my uncle still has the plans|for the kindergarten. - Forget it.
My brother's gonna get the job.
He's building the mayor's pad too,|isn't he?
Your brother didn't have|a soil analysis made.
So he shouldn't be surprised|when the whole place sinks.
In that case,|I doubt whether he'll get the job.
Everything okay, guys?|- Sure!
On the count of three!|- You bet!
1 ... 2 ... 3.
Shit!|- What the fuck!
Who tied that knot?
One of us has to tie it.
Okay, I'll go.
No, you won't. I'll go.
No, I'll go.
I said, I'll go.
If anything happens,
take care of Astrid.
She needs you more than me now.
I think it's tight!|- Should I pull it?
Shit! - I'm gonna tear it down!|- No, you aren't! Stay here!
Why not?|- What's keeping you guys?
They're getting ready to celebrate.
Shit! Why is my brother|celebrating today?
I thought the bastard|was on Majorca!
Let it never be broken again!
Broken glass will bring|good fortune and blessings
to the builder of this dwelling.|Thank you.
Isn't that a lovely wreath?|It's from the whole Party.
Dur crane operator, Heinz Brockmann,
can fill a crate of beer ...|- Stop!
Don't enter the house!|- Werner! - Stop!
Werner, you're not welcome!|This is your brother's celebration!
Don't go in!
Get back!
I don't remember inviting you!|And I fired you three idiots!
It's all undermined!|- Philipp, what're you doing here?
It's all hollow underneath!
Get outta here, or I'll have you|arrested for trespassing!
You arrogant bastard!|- Do something!
Bedwetter! - Listen!|- It's all hollow!
Could you explain what's going on?
Mr. Matthiesen, that was my brother.
If our father were still alive,|he'd be ashamed to death.
What happened?
What happened,|you incredible asshole?
What happened?
MAREK AND PARTNER|BUILDING CONTRACTORS
Marek, you old rascal, you okay?|Got a new car?
Yes, bought a nice little car.
Listen, guys. We got the offer|to build the kindergarten.
We're on our way up!
Great, guys. lt's party time|at my basement bar tonight!
Pull yourselves together!|- First we're gonna make a picture.
Get in the picture, too.|- C'mon, Werner! - Your wife, too!
I'm coming!|- Hurry up with that crap!
Yes ... get closer together.|Very nice.
Nice.
Help!|- Arno, where's Grandpa?
Help!
The asshole that built this shithouse|used to build dollhouses, huh?
I'd probably have more room there|than in this bathroom!
There's no room at all!|I can't even budge!
You need a crowbar|or a saw in here!
This is terrible! I can't take a saw|with me everytime I go to the can!
Jesus! At least it's good|I didn't get my hands squished!
'cause then I'd have|squished hands,
and the saw wouldn't be|of any use anymore!
Hello! Help! Help!
I Accidentally Domed Your Son
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