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Jamon Jamon 1992 CD1

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Nobody will stop me! I ' II be famous!
The world!
Unless your balls make you famous.
Come on, come on!
I won't tire of saying...
Who buys men's shorts? Women do.
And a good basket sells.
- Name? - Raul Gonzalez.
- Age? - 22.
What do you do?
I deliver hams, "The Conquerors" hams.
- Name? - Jose Gabrieles.
- Age? - 25 years old.
- What do you do? - I work in a fruit shop.
- Name? - Javier Lopez.
- Age? - 24.
Where do you work?
In the Silver Gym.
- Name? - Marc Damelsa.
Alright, you' re in charge of the campaign...
...but remember our criteria has lasted three generations.
The slogan "You've a Samson inside means everything to me". Don't forget it.
- Come on, Jose. - Alright.
- Bye, Mom. - Bye, darling.
- I ' II see you at 4 p. M. - Alright.
Open up!
Silvia, open up!
Open up!
Dad! What's going on?
Go away.
Mom will be here any minute
Let me in.
I can't. Mom would kill me.
Please, Silvia, I ' m cold. I need a drink!
Dad, I love you...
...but I can't do it.
What?
You get impossible and Mom gets very upset.
Let me in!
- Remember last time. - Open up!
I love you.
Let me in!
I told you never to come back here!
You drunk bastard!
You wanna hit me again?
Either you leave right now or I ' II call the cops!
Who did you screw tonight?
You ask me who I fucked with?
You left your daughters and me without a cent!
Get it through your head! I care about them!
And now what?
You want to beat them up? Go on, kill them!
Shut up!
You bitch!
Mom.
You' re not in love with Dad, are you?
No, not any more.
But I have you.
- I love you. - Come on.
I ' m sick of omelets.
If it weren't for my Mom, you could count me out.
For what we get...
Omelets interest you more than I do.
It's your fault, you make them so well.
This really sounds great.
Jesus, it's too much!
Silvia!
What happened?
You fainted. Did you hurt yourself?
I get dizzy lately.
What do you mean? Come here.
Come on.
I 've missed two periods.
Are you pregnant?
I ' m a mess.
Why didn't you tell me?
Not even my Mom knows.
What can I do?
- I could have an abortion. - What's that?
I don't want to be a bother.
I love you, Silvia.
You won't make omelets for anyone.
Just for me.
We' II get married.
What about your folks?
I ' m just an employee.
We' II get married no matter what.
We' II tell my parents tomorrow.
You' II come to the party with me.
Can I eat your tit?
No
Hello?
Yes, Mom.
I ' II be home for supper.
I can't speak now.
Bye.
My Mom.
How come you like eating my tits?
I like...
...the way they taste.
What do they taste like?
I don't know.
You' re sure they don't taste like a patato omelet?
That would be fantastic.
One would taste like an omelet...
...and the other, like ham.
Jose Luis.
When we have a house...
...can I have a closet just to keep shoes?
Pablito, stop it!
You' II see how handsome you' II look!
He asked me to marry him.
Come here, Pablito.
I 've told you not to bring the pig inside.
- His name's Pablito! - Don't scratch!
- It itches a lot. - Don't scratch yourself!
I ' II get you some cream.
And take Pablito out of here!
You wouldn't be pregnant?
- What's pregnant? - Being in love. Go on.
- When will I be pregnant? - The latest, the better.
I told you to be careful.
How far gone are you? Pregnant!
I won't have you going through what I did!
We' II get married.
Jose Luis said so.
Don't get your hopes up, you know his mother.
He says we' re to stay for the party...
...after we deliver the omelets.
We' re getting married. You' II see how far I ' II get in life.
You? You' re your Dad's shadow.
- What did you say, bastard? - Everyone says so.
Now, don't get me upset. You know I 've got a rotten temper.
Samson's got a teeny joy prong.
What will you have?
A gin & tonic.
I ' m going to marry Silvia.
What's wrong? I thought you'd be glad.
What about your folks?
I don't give a damn.
If they get on my back, I ' II leave and that's it.
Don't be silly.
What about your Mom? Don't you know her by now?
I don't care. Everybody thinks I can't do without them.
Well, I ' m getting married.
I hope you' re right.
I sure would be happy for you to marry Silvia.
In that case, I don't want you around.
Come on.
The cash register is getting rusty.
Fun and money!
Show us the green stuff, big spenders!
I ' m the eldest employee in this place.
Welcome to Samson's retirees party.
I get old just by thinking...
...how far gone are the days when I worked here.
Silvia, your mother-in-law's a battle-ax.
Shut up, they' II hear you.
What's the big deal?
He's gonna introduce me to his parents.
It tastes awful.
Too much garlic. And so much salt too.
- Did your Mom like the omelet? - Of course she did.
Will she like me?
The paella turned out very well, didn't it?
Yes, lovely.
How do I look?
Mom, Silvia wants to say hello.
Mom, here's Silvia.
Why is your Dad with that whore?
- Who invited her? - I did.
- Why. - Because she's my mother.
Come on, Silvia, forget about my mother.
Not everyone's Mom is as good as yours.
Yeah, but they despise me because of my Mom.
When I was 13, she worked in a top-less bar.
The poor thing couldn't serve a drink. But she had to feed us.
At first, nobody bought omelets.
If Dad hadn't abandoned us, it would've been different.
My Mom is the way she is. I need time to tell her about us.
You' re still awake?
How often have I told you not to leave shoes around?
What is it?
Jose Luis hasn't told his folks about us.
If I don't marry him, I ' II kill myself.
If you do, I ' II kick you alive.
Go to sleep.
Good night.
- Mom. - What?
What?
I love you.
Honey...
You' re the best Mom in the world.
Gogh...
...nice doggie, nice.
Goddamn shoes!
My son will not go out with that girl.
Her mother's a whore!
You should know, you know her well enough!
That was ages ago. She runs a bar now.
A bar? You mean a whorehouse!
All women have a whorish side to them.
Manuel!
My pearls! The necklace broke!
Help me! Can't you hear me?
- Jose Luis, is that you? - Yes, it's me.
I won't have you dating that girl.
We' re getting married.
What?
You' re not marrying anybody, especially her!
Don't call Silvia a "her"!
You' re the only one I care about.
What's wrong? Don't you love me?
I don't want to hurt you...
...but, Silvia...
...Don't mention that name, please.
You look pale, are you tired?
- Come here. - I ' m exhausted.
Don't worry.
Relax.
When I was pregnant, I spent my day in the pool.
My back hurt so much...
I drank only milk and ate fruit.
And listen to Mozart.
I wanted to relax you.
But I don't think you liked it very much.
You kicked so hard.
I need her, and she needs me.
Mom, Silvia's...
Let's drop the subject.
Why don't you take a bath?
Manuel, we must stop this nonsense at once.
I ' m sure that girl is after our money.
I ' m not going to lift a finger.
If you won't do anything, I certainly will.
- Name? - Raul Gonzalez.
- Age? - 22.
What do you do?
I deliver hams, "The Conquerors" hams.
- Name? - Jose Gabrieles.
The Conquerors, Hernan Cortes & Bros. Hams and salamis
Hi.
What is it?
You' re not going to eat them all?
No, but they' re good for circulation.
You were in the factory the day of the pictures.
Yes, but I ' m here...
...to make you an offer.
There's good money involved...
...and it's something easy for you.
At night, she's always alone.
Her mother's a whore.
She's after my son for his money.
But I won't allow it.
Like this Mercedes?
Yes...
One day, I ' II have one too.
Alright...
...it's a deal.
What's going on?
Careful! You' II get run over!
Come here, you' II get run over by a truck.
- Here. - Let me.
Careful, a truck.
- Who are you? - My name's Raul.
I ' II help you lock it up.
- Watch out! - Relax, it won't run away.
How about a beer?
Can't I come in?
- Why not? - Because I said so.
I 've got a boyfriend.
We' re getting married.
That's nice. But I don't mind.
But I do.
You' re not the easy kind.
See you.
Can I help?
Get lost.
- You going out tonight? - What's it to you?
Come on, tell me. You going to the disco?
So what? I ' m going with my financee.
Come on, come over here. Don't be scared.
Did you know ham increases your sexual drive?
Shit!
Fucking hell!
Suck it.
Why don't you suck it?
You' re a pig!
And you' re a "jamona".
You say we can't go out.
But, only we can do is sex.
You' re a pig!
And you' re a "jamona".
Tell her you' re not sure the kid's yours.
I ' m not a stinker and I know it's mine.
Silvia's only been with me. For sure.
Jose Luis is still with that drag-ass?
Yeah, but now they' re a trio.
If I ' m going to marry, we must speak to Dad.
Can we go? I ' m getting dizzy.
You' II get over it. We just got here.
Come to the ladies' room.
- You' re tastier than ham. - Let me be.
- Who's he? - A pig, that's who.
Hey, this is the ladies'.
- I ' m a bit of a faggot. - This is for girls!
Jose Luis is gonna break your neck.
I like you.
Let me be!
Don't get the car dirty, I washed it.
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
You ask me? You' re too much!
I ' m pregnant and you don't even care.
It's because of my Mom.
But I don't care.
I don't need my folks.
Paco and I will tell Dad about that project.
If he refuses, I ' II even sell my car, anything.
You mustn't worry.
You may think it foolish, but it's good publicity.
Panties for she-dogs, for their period.
It's a new line, we need new openings.
Hadn't you quit?
You really think people would buy dog panties?
If we' re to be the empire of shorts, we must cover it all.
A leading American brand doubled their sales...
...marketing articles outside their regular line.
This isn't America.
We manufacture 35,000 mini-shorts.
And we can't even cover the orders.
The same thing happens with boxer shorts and regular shorts with a fly.
Where on earth would we fit a special panty...
...for she-dogs in the production line?
Let me speak, Dad. What do you want?
To make money or fool around? This is business, son.
Basics, Hollywood, Regatta, Rock...
...those are good shorts.
- They' re within our line. - And my ideas aren't?
Our line is basically underwear for human beings.
We know about that.
Where would we sell doggies' panties?
In Marbella, for dogs from the jet set?
What are you doing here?
Gogh, what are you wearing?
Our dear son and one of his new-fangled ideas.
You'd do better to think about the next collection.
Don't start, Mom. I ' m sick your nagging me.
Nothing I do ever please you.
You treat me as if I were a child.
Prick.
Let's go to the room.
I already told you we'd never do it again.
Prick, prick, I like your prick.
Hadn't you quit smoking?
I need you.
One last time.
Come on.
No.
No.
Leave my tits alone. They' re not yours.
You can look, but you can't touch.
I ' m gonna turn you on.
Shall I do the parrot?
That's some shitty bike.
As soon as I save a little, I ' II get a super chopper.
I ' m in business, man, not like you.
Look, look, isn't it beautiful?
We should fight them start naked.
- You don't have balls. - Who says?
Naked and with a hard one on, goddamn it.
Here! A bullock, man, see him?
Away from the herd.
He looks like a good bull, look at that face.
- He's nice. - Hey, bull!
Come on.
See him?
Alright, hand him over.
Very good.
Get ready.
Come on!
Look!
Come on!
Watch out!
Take a look at that!
Holy shit, the overseer!
Drop it!
Let's beat it, man!
Come on!
- Let's get the bike! - That's where they are!
- Two son-of-bitches! - Go take a look.
I ' II see if she's in.
She is.
Call her.
Who is it?
A truck's coming!
- Who is it? - It's me, Raul.
We need clothes.
What's going on?
We were with the bulls. The overseer showed up.
You got any clothes?
Come in.
Come on.
- Thanks. - Here.
- That baby's a dish. - She sure is.
You got some oil or something?
It's to clean the tar off my feet.
Here, you do it.
Give me a hand.
I ' II get a cloth.
Just let me. Hear me?
Do I leave it here?
Watch out!
Did you know that with a full moon...
...your blood flows faster?
And tides are stronger?
Did you eat garlic?
Sure I did.
Best thing to do to bullfight and screw.
Come on, get out of here.
My mom will be here soon.
Can't I stay here tonight?
Look at the state I ' m in.
I said no.
Alright, let's go.
What about another time?
Get lost!
Cutie!
Thanks a lot.
You' re welcome.
She sure plays cool.
Man, do I like her!
Hang on.
Drop it.
Wait, man.
- I sure like you. - What?
I like you!
Come on, let's go.
Coming.
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