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Little Nicky

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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY Michal Prerovsky
WE'RE FROM THE SCHOOL, THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ROCK IT UP, SUCKERS, I CAN ROCK ABOUT THE BLOCKS
WE'RE FROM THE SCHOOL, THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ROCK IT UP, SUCKERS, I CAN ROCK ABOUT THE BLOCKS
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I MADE TODAY.
I CAN'T WAIT.
I NEED TO GO UPSTAIRS AND CHANGE,
AND THEN I'LL START DINNER.
OK.
OK.
OK.
Kool and the Gang: AND THE FEELING'S RIGHT
OH, YES, IT'S LADIES NIGHT
OH, WHAT A NIGHT
T OH, WHAT A NIGH
Peeper, singing along: OH, YES, IT'S LADIES NIGHT
AND THE FEEL-- OOH, SHOWTIME.
AND THE FEEL-- OOH, SHOWTIME.
ROUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE, MRS. DUNLEAVY?
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER ONCE YOU GET OUT OF THOSE WORK CLOTHES.
HA HA. AND INTO SOME SWEATS. [CHUCKLES]
HA HA. AND INTO SOME SWEATS. [CHUCKLES]
AHH.
OHH. I WISH YOU'D LET ME RUB THOSE FEET.
OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T USE MY HANDS.
[WHEEZING]
[WHEEZING]
OH.
I THINK VICTORIA JUST TOLD ME HER SECRET.
OHH.
TTT TTT-TTT-TTT TTT TTT-TTT-TTT
TTT TTT-TTT-TTT TTT
OH, MY, DEEDLY DEE. ARE THOSE THINGS FOR ME?
EEE.
OHH.
Boy: MOM. COMING IN.
OHH. SCOTTIE DUNLEAVY?
WHAT UNFORTUNATE TIMING.
GET OUT.
DON'T YOU KNOW THIS IS NAUGHTY TIME?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
[RING]
HELLO?
HELLO, SCOTTIE.
SAY, WHY DON'T YOU BE A GOOD LITTLE BOY,
GO DOWNSTAIRS, LET YOUR MOTHER GET COMFY, ALL RIGHT?
WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS A BIG BIRD WHO WANTS TO SEE THE REST OF MOMMY.
NAH HA HA HA HA HA!
[GASPS]
OH, OH.
OH, MY GOD, SCOTTIE. IS THAT A MAN UP OUR TREE?
NO, NO. TELL HER IT'S A BIRD.
IT'S JUST A BIG BIRD.
IT'S JUST A BIG BIRD.
BAWK! BAWK BAWK BAWK!
BAWK! BAWK!
AAH! OOH!
UHH!
OHH!
OHH!
HEY, PAL, WELCOME.
WELCOME TO WHAT? WHERE AM I?
AAH!
AREN'T YOU THAT HORNY GUY
WHO WAS PRETENDING TO BE A BIG BIRD?
CHECKING OUT THAT BEAUTIFUL MOM?
YES, I AM.
NOW YOU'RE GONNA SEE
WHAT A BIG HORNY BIRD ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE...
IN HELL!
[CAW CAW]
[LADIES NIGHTPLAYING]
AAH!
Kool and the Gang: OH, YES, IT'S LADIES NIGHT
NO! NO! NO! NO!
NO! NO! NO! NO!
I DESERVE THIS! I DESERVE THIS!
OHH! OHH!
OHH! OHH!
OHH! OHH!
[RUNNIN' WITH THE DEVIL BY VAN HALEN PLAYING]
[BIRD SCREECHES]
[THUNDER]
[THUNDER]
KNOCK, KNOCK.
HEY, JIMMY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, NICKY?
I'M JUST JAMMIN'.
YOUR FATHER WANTS TO SEE YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS
DOWN IN THE THRONE ROOM.
HE'S NOT RETIRING TODAY, IS HE?
HE JUST WANTS TO TALK TO YOU AND CASSIUS AND ADRIAN
ABOUT WHO'S GONNA RULE HELL FOR THE NEXT 10,000 YEARS.
WELL, WHAT DO I NEED TO GO FOR?
HE'S NOT GONNA PICK ME.
HA HA HA! I HAPPEN TO THINK YOU'D MAKE A GREAT DEVIL.
NO, I'M NOT INTO EVIL AND TORTURE
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
PLUS, THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS
SHOULD HAVE SORT OF A DISTINGUISHED LOOK TO HIM,
AND LET'S FACE FACTS, I'M NO GEORGE CLOONEY.
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT A BAD-LOOKING GUY, NICKY.
LOOK AT YOU IN THAT PICTURE.
LOOK AT YOU IN THAT PICTURE.
YEAH, I USED TO TALK NORMAL, TOO,
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE MY BROTHER CASSIUS
HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH A SHOVEL.
THAT'S ME NOW, AND I ACCEPT IT.
WELL, YOUR BROTHERS ARE TWO OF THE SICKEST GUYS
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
FOR SOME REASON, YOU'RE NOT.
IT'S NOTHIN' TO BE ASHAMED OF.
WELL, THEIR MOTHERS WERE FIRE DRAGONS
AND MY MOTHER WAS A GOAT,
SO HOW AM I GONNA COMPETE WITH THAT?
YOUR MOTHER WAS NOT A GOAT.
YOUR BROTHERS ARE JUST PLAYING WITH YOU.
EITHER WAY, IF ONE OF THOSE PSYCHOS GETS PICKED,
I'M DOOMED.
Cassius: I KNEW IT, ADRIAN. HE'S FINALLY RETIRING.
Adrian: CASSIUS, I'VE BEEN WAITING ON THIS DAY
FOR 10,000 YEARS.
FOR 10,000 YEARS.
WHEW.
IF THE OLD MAN PICKS ME TO TAKE OVER HELL,
I'M GONNA KEEP TORTURE GOING 24-7.
NO BREAKS.
WHOA, MAMA!
YOU GOT HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE.
[LAUGHING]
HEY. OHH!
HOW'S DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL DOING TODAY?
OH, I DIDN'T SEE YOU GUYS OVER THERE.
WHAT'S UP?
HEY, SHOVEL FACE, YOU WANNA MIND-WRESTLE?
ACTUALLY, NAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.
I WAS THINKING OF CHILLING OUT
BY THE THRONE FOR A LITTLE BIT.
I'M GONNA MIND-WRESTLE YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
WELL, I HAVE TO WARN YOU,
I'M GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT IT.
THEN I GUESS I CAN'T MAKE YOU DO THIS.
OK. MERCY. YOU WIN. I GIVE. GAME OVER.
WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING?
AAH!
NOTHING, DAD, JUST HITTING THE OLD PUNCHING BAGS.
CASSIUS, DIDN'T I TELL YOU
TO STAY OUT OF YOUR BROTHER'S MIND?
I FORGOT.
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP YOU REMEMBER.
AAH! OOH!
[THUNDER]
NOW, EVERYBODY COME SIT DOWN.
HEY, DAD.
YES, SON.
I--I KNOW YOU GOT A LOT ON YOUR MIND,
BUT I ALMOST FINISHED
THAT MONSTERS OF METAL COMPILATION TAPE.
I REALLY THINK IT'S TURNING INTO A MASTERPIECE.
OK, KID. WE'LL LISTEN TO IT LATER.
THANKS, THANKS.
THANKS, THANKS.
OH, A WINDOW.
HELLO, MR. DEVIL,
I LIKE YOUR CAPE.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[SQUAWKING] AAH!
AAH!
[PEEPER GRUNTING] I DESERVE THIS!
Satan: FELLAS...
THIS, AS SOME OF YOU MIGHT KNOW,
IS MY 10,000th YEAR AS PRINCE OF DARKNESS,
SO I THINK THE TIME HAS COME TO DISCUSS
WHO WILL SUCCEED ME.
UH, KNOCK, KNOCK.
YES, JIMMY?
DON'T FORGET-
YOU'RE SHOVING A PINEAPPLE
UP HITLER'S ASS AT 4:00 P. M.
UP HITLER'S ASS AT 4:00 P. M.
THIS WAS A VERY DIFFICULT DECISION,
BECAUSE I HAVE 3 WONDERFUL SONS.
I MEAN, ADRIAN-- SO SMART, SO RUTHLESS.
WEARS MAKEUP.
AND CASSIUS-
SO STRONG, SO TOUGH.
DON'T FORGET CLINICALLY INSANE.
AND NICKY-
AND NICKY-
SUCH A SWEET BOY.
[LAUGHS]
BUT AFTER MUCH THOUGHT
AND CAREFUL CONSIDERATION,
I'VE DECIDED THAT THE RULER FOR THE NEXT 10,000 YEARS
IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE...
IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE...
ME.
WHAT? HALLELUJAH.
I MEAN, THAT SUCKS.
THE IMPORTANT THING FOR THE STABILITY OF OUR RULE
IS TO MAINTAIN THE BALANCE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL,
AND I DON'T THINK ANY OF YOU
ARE READY FOR THAT RESPONSIBILITY YET.
DAD, THIS IS BULLSHIT!
I DON'T LIKE THAT LANGUAGE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT LANGUAGE.
AHEM.
RIGHT, RIGHT. SEND HIM IN.
SORRY, BOYS. I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
Nicky: WELL, IT WAS GOOD HANGING WITH YOU, DAD.
I'LL CHECK YOU LATER.
I'LL CHECK YOU LATER.
MM-MMM.
MM-MMM.
UHH!
UHH!
MM-HMM.
YOU'RE SCHNERIOUS?
YOU'RE SCHNERIOUS?
Hitler: AAH!
Hitler: AAH!
OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF.
AHH.
DAMN!
20,000 YEARS AGO, GRANDPA LUCIFER SAID,
"IT'S BETTER TO RULE IN HELL
THAN IT IS TO SERVE IN HEAVEN."
WELL, I'M TIRED OF SERVING IN HELL.
WE NEED SOMEWHERE WHERE WE CAN RULE.
[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
BRING IT ON, BIG MAN. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
[WHIMPERS]
[LAUGHS]
COULD YOU CONCENTRATE FOR 5 SECONDS?
I AM CONCENTRATING, MAN.
I'M SORRY.
AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION,
I MUST RESPECTFULLY DECLINE.
I CAN'T STAND RETIREMENT.
COME ON. JUST LET ME WIN ONE SUPER BOWL.
IN EXCHANGE FOR ETERNAL DAMNATION OF YOUR SOUL?
YOU'RE MUCH TOO NICE A GUY
FOR ME TO WANT TO DO THAT TO YOU, MR. MARINO.
YOU DID IT FOR NAMATH.
YEAH, BUT JOE WAS COMING HERE ANYWAYS.
THIS SUCKS.
I'LL JUST GO TO THE SUPER BOWL AS AN ANNOUNCER,
AND I'LL WIN MYSELF AN EMMY!
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
YOU'RE A GOOD DEVIL, DAD.
AND I ALSO HAPPEN TO BE A JETS FAN.
[LAUGHS]
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...EARTH?
WE COULD CREATE OUR OWN HELL THERE.
ARE YOU SAYING WE GO UP THERE AND KILL EVERYONE?
EVENTUALLY, CASSIUS, BUT FIRST,
WE'D HAVE TO CORRUPT AS MANY SOULS AS WE CAN,
SO THAT WHEN WE DO DESTROY THEM...
THEIR DAMNED SOULS WILL BE OURS.
IT'S OUR TIME, BROTHER.
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
HAAH! HAAH!
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. FELLAS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Both: WE'RE LEAVING.
Gatekeeper: YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH THERE!
THE FIRE FLOWS IN, NOT OUT.
AAH! AAH!
YOU REALLY SUCK!
YOU REALLY SUCK!
YOUR EVILNESS!
YOUR EVILNESS!
CASSIUS AND ADRIAN HAVE ESCAPED FROM HELL.
THEY WENT OUT THROUGH THE FIRE,
AND THEY FROZE IT.
I TRIED TO STOP THEM, SIR,
BUT THEY OVERPOWERED ME.
[SOBBING]
[SOBBING]
CALM DOWN. GET OFF YOUR KNEES.
[DISTANT ALARM SOUNDS]
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING,
YOUR WICKEDNESS.
YOU'RE THE MAN. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE MAN.
I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT.
I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT.
OH. OH.
ARE THERE BOOBS ON MY HEAD?
YEAH--BIG ONES.
WHAT'S GOING ON, DAD?
I'M GOING TO DIE, NICKY.
THE GATES ARE BROKEN. NO NEW SOULS CAN GET IN,
WHICH MEANS I'LL START TO DETERIORATE INTO NOTHING.
NO. NO.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THOSE "HOO HOO" NOISES?
EVERYTHING'S FINE, POP.
EVERYTHING'S FINE? WHO ARE YOU BULLSHITTING?
THE LAST TIME YOU SAID EVERYTHING WAS FINE,
THE RENAISSANCE HAPPENED.
PLEASE, POP, GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.
HEY, CAN I TAKE HIM WITH ME?
SURE, POP. WHATEVER YOU WANT.
TIT-HEAD, GO WITH MY FATHER.
TIT-HEAD, GO WITH MY FATHER.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
[JIMMY KNOCKS ON ICE]
NOT A DAMN SOUL IS GOING TO GET THROUGH THAT.
THIS FIRE IS SOLID AS ROCK.
WE GOT TO GET THIS BAD BOY BURNING AGAIN.
TO DO THAT, CASSIUS AND ADRIAN
HAVE TO COME BACK THROUGH THE OTHER WAY.
SO GO GET 'EM, DAD.
I'M TOO WEAK.
THE PROCESS HAS ALREADY BEGUN.
[WHIMPERS]
SO GO GET 'EM, JIMMY.
I'M JUST A DEMON.
I DON'T HAVE DEVIL BLOOD IN ME.
I--I WOULDN'T LAST 2 MINUTES
WITH YOUR BROTHERS UP THERE.
ARE YOU SAYING IT'S UP TO ME?
HUH?
YOU SAID NO SOULS COULD GET THROUGH THAT.
NICKY, ARE YOU A SOUL,
OR ARE YOU THE SPAWN OF SATAN?
OR ARE YOU THE SPAWN OF SATAN?
I NEVER BEEN TO EARTH, DAD.
I NEVER EVEN SLEPT OVER SOME OTHER DUDE'S HOUSE.
NICKY, THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN ON EARTH
IS YOU GET KILLED,
IN WHICH CASE, BOOM-
YOU END UP BACK HERE.
SO YOU'RE SAYING I NEED TO GO TO EARTH
AND KILL MY BROTHERS?
NO GO.
THEY LEFT TOGETHER AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
THEY GOT TO COME BACK TOGETHER
AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
HERE.
HERE.
GET THEM TO DRINK FROM THIS.
ONE SIP, AND THEY'LL BE TRAPPED INSIDE.
ONCE YOU'VE GOT BOTH OF THEM,
YOU BRING THE FLASK BACK THROUGH THE GATE.
LET ME, SIR.
GROSS!
[SNIFFS]
UHH.
HE'S GOT LESS THAN A WEEK.
HE'S GOT LESS THAN A WEEK.
Nicky: DAD,
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS.
SON, YOU...
TRY YOUR BEST.
[ROARS] AAH!
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
EARTH.
EARTH.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TOO BAD.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TOO BAD.
[TRAIN APPROACHES]
[HONKS HORN]
[HONKS HORN]
YOU WERE GONE 10 SECONDS. WHAT HAPPENED?
I GOT HIT BY THIS BIG LIGHT
THAT WAS ATTACHED TO A LOT OF METAL.
THAT'S A TRAIN, SON.
DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
WELL, I'LL HAVE TO TAKE A MULLIGAN ON THIS ONE.
PLEASE, NICKY, GET BACK UP THERE.
ALL RIGHT. WHOA!
I'LL GET THAT FOR YOU, SIR.
I'LL GET THAT FOR YOU, SIR.
I'M NICKY.
THAT'S TERRIFIC. NOW GET OFF THE TRACK
AND COME WITH ME, HANDSOME.
OK.
Beefy: WELCOME TO GRAND CENTRAL STATION
IN NEW YORK CITY.
MY NAME IS BEEFY.
I'M AN OLD FRIEND OF YOUR FATHER'S.
HE ASKED ME TO HELP YOU OUT.
I JUST WANT TO FIND MY BROTHERS
AND BE ON MY WAY.
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.
YOUR BROTHERS CAN POSSESS PEOPLE,
SO THEY PROBABLY WON'T LOOK LIKE THEMSELVES.
YOU HAVE TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT, BRO.
WELL, THE JIG IS UP, THEN.
GET IN THE FLASK. COME ON.
IT AIN'T ME, MORON.
SORRY. I...
NOW, THERE'S THIS BLIND GUY OUTSIDE
YOU MIGHT THINK IS POSSESSED,
BUT HE'S JUST CRAZY.
OK.
HEY, YO, UPTOWN, WHAT?
Deacon: THOUGH I CANNOT SEE WITH THESE BLIND EYES,
I KNOW THE GOOD LORD STILL LOVES ME.
HE LOVES ALL OF HIS CHILDREN.
WHY, HE LOVES YOU...
Beefy: THAT'S HIM.
AND HE LOVES YOU.
[SNIFFS]
Beefy: HERE HE GOES.
YOU MAKE THE LORD VERY NERVOUS.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'VE BEEN-- I'M BURNIN' NOW.
TAKE IT EASY.
HELLFIRE IS BURNIN' ME ALIVE!
Beefy: HE'S BURNING.
BURNIN' ME! AAH!
THE BEAST IS ALIVE! HE'S AMONG US!
CLEAR THE STREETS! THE DEVIL IS HERE!
[HITS GROUND] UHH!
HEH HEH HEH. MAKING FRIENDS ALREADY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT GUY'S PROBLEM WAS.
IT'S FREEZING UP HERE.
YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD NOW, KID.
YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL A LOT OF NEW THINGS
YOU NEVER FELT BEFORE.
LET'S GET YOU SOME WARM CLOTHES
AND SOME HOT FOOD.
YEAH.
YEAH.
PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH.
PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH.
NOW MOVE YOUR TEETH
UP AND DOWN.
UP AND DOWN.
UP AND DOWN.
GOOD, NUMB NUTS.
NOW YOU GOT TO SWALLOW IT.
TILT YOUR HEAD BACK
AND LET THE MEAT SLIDE DOWN YOUR THROAT HOLE.
[GAGS]
EASY. DON'T CHOKE.
[SWALLOWS]
[SWALLOWS]
POPEYE'S CHICKEN IS FUCKING AWESOME.
UH-HUH.
NOW EAT UP. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED YOUR ENERGY.
I GOT ENERGY UP THE YING-YANG.
LET'S GO SAVE DAD.
ADRIAN! CASSIUS!
Woman: AAH!
OH, BOY.
SO NICE.
UHH!
UHH!
HEY.
H-HEY.
H-HEY.
I LIKE YOUR BRASSIERE.
OH. THANK YOU.
COULD YOU GUYS MAYBE NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS?
YEAH. YOU GOT IT.
DO YOU MIND MAYBE NOT TELLING ANYBODY ABOUT THIS?
YOU GOT IT.
[GROWLS]
LOOK, SIDEWALK EQUALS SAFETY.
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD EQUALS DEATH.
FROM NOW ON,
I'M JUST GOING TO TRY TO AVOID
ALL MOVING METAL OBJECTS.
GREAT. NOW, YOUR FATHER GAVE ME SOME DEPOSIT MONEY
FOR A NICE PAD ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE,
BUT I MISPLACED IT.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'M WASTED! AHH!
SO I FOUND THIS OTHER JOINT FOR YOU,
BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A ROOMMATE.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING BETTER
THAN DRINKING AN ICE-COLD WHISKEY SOUR
ON A HOT ALABAMA NIGHT,
AND THAT'S TELLING THE TRUTH.
I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, GRANDMA.
YOU THINK I'M WORTHLESS.
YOU THINK I'M A STUMBLEBUM
WHO AIN'T NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.
WELL, OLD WOMAN, YOU ARE WRONG.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[WHISPERING] You are wrong.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
HELLO, FRIEND.
MY NAME IS NICKY.
I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE SEEKING A ROOMMATE,
AS PER YOUR AD IN THEVILLAGE VOICE.
WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO FILL THE SLOT?
DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT RENT IS?
DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT RENT IS?
YES.
WHAT IS RENT?
IT'S 1200, SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE.
TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS,
I REHEARSE WITH MY SCENE PARTNER,
SO THE LIVING ROOM'S GOING TO BE OFF-LIMITS.
OFF-LIMITS.
AREN'T YOU BOILING HOT IN THAT OUTFIT? NO.
IT'S LIKE 80 DEGREES IN THIS HALLWAY.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM, THE SOUTH?
WHERE ARE YOU FROM, THE SOUTH?
YES.
YES.
THE DEEP SOUTH.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
WHY IS THAT FUNNY?
I DON'T KNOW.
OK. AND SORRY, GUY, BUT NO DOGGIES ALLOWED.
Beefy: GO ON. BIG DAY TOMORROW.
AND DON'T FORGET TO DO THAT SLEEP THING
I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
GOTCHA.
YOU'RE NOT MY BROTHER, ARE YOU?
OH. I'M AN ONLY CHILD.
YOU LOVE ACTING.
I LOVE PISSING.
I LOVE PISSING.
[NICKY SNORES]
[GROWLING]
[GROWLING]
[SNORES]
[DEMONIC GROWLING]
[DEMONIC GROWLING]
[SNORES]
[DEMONIC GROWLING]
[DEMONIC GROWLING]
[SNORES]
[ROARING]
OH, MY GOD!
[BELL TOLLING, CHOIR SINGING]
[BELL TOLLING, CHOIR SINGING]
Choir: AMEN
Choir: AMEN
IN TODAY'S GOSPEL,
THE LORD TELLS US HOW WE SHOULD LIVE
IF WE WISH TO ATTAIN THE SPLENDOR OF HEAVEN.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
JESUS THIS, MOSES THAT.
ABRAHAM HIT ME WITH A WIFFLE BALL BAT.
[HUMMING]
[HUMMING]
YEP. THE LORD SURE DID SAY
A LOT OF HIBBITY JIBBITY BIBBITY SWIBBITY.
A LOT OF HIBBITY JIBBITY BIBBITY SWIBBITY.
BUT...
HAS HE EVER REALLY DONE ANYTHING
FOR ANY OF US?
HAS HE EVER PUT A JAGUAR XJR IN MY DRIVEWAY?
NO.
I LOVE THAT CAR.
HAS THE LORD GIVEN ANY OF MY ENEMIES THE HERPES?
THE HERPES?
NO.
THE LORD GAVE MY SON
THE STRENGTH TO GET OFF DRUGS.
MA'AM, I KNOW YOUR SON,
AND, BELIEVE ME, HE WAS BETTER OFFONTHE DRUGS.
AT LEAST WHEN HE WAS SMOKING HASHISH
HE USED TO MAKE ME LAUGH OCCASIONALLY.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER]
AFTER WE TRIED FOR MANY YEARS,
THE LORD FINALLY HELPED MY WIFE
CONCEIVE A BABY.
NO, NO, NO. YOUR BEST FRIEND FITZY
HELPED YOUR WIFE CONCEIVE A BABY.
HE HELPED HER CONCEIVE IT
ALL NIGHT LONG.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
[CROWD BOOS]
HOW ABOUT YOU, MAYOR?
HAS THE LORD EVER DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU?
WELL, YOU KNOW, I-
I WISHED I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING,
BUT, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I CAN'T.
I CAN'T THINK OF A DAMN THING HE'S EVER DONE FOR ME!
KIND OF MAKES YOU WONDER IF THERE EVEN IS A LORD,
IF THERE EVEN IS AN ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT
FOR OUR SO-CALLED SINS.
WHY DON'T WE ALL JUST HAVE FUN
AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT?
HEY, HEY!
Father: LET THE SIN BEGIN.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING]
Cassius: LET THE SIN BEGIN.
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
Adrian: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
I NEVER WANT IT TO END.
WHY SHOULD IT END?
WHO'S GOING TO STOP US?
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
COME ON. THERE'S, LIKE, 10 MILLION PEOPLE IN THIS CITY,
AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
WELL, LET'S ROCK AND ROLL, THEN.
UHH!
I'M NOT GET IN THIRSTY! THE FLASK.
I'M NOT GET IN THIRSTY! THE FLASK.
AAH!
CASSIUS, I'LL SHOW YOU.
OW! OW!
CASSIUS, GET IN THE FLASK.
[YELLS UNINTELLIGIBLY]
GET IN THE FLASK.
GET IN THE FLASK.
MAY I HELP YOU? GET IN THE FLASK.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?
I'M TALKING ABOUT AN 8-PIECE. LET'S GO.
LOOK, IT'S OK FOR ME TO SHIT IN THE STREET,
BUT YOU GOT TO USE A TOILET.
OK.
NICKY, WHERE ARE YOU?
AW, COME ON.
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
JUST GET IN THE FLASK. I GOTTA GET ADRIAN.
[POLAR BEAR ROARS]
AAH!
AAH!
???? OOH, OOH, OOH ????
GARY'S SO HAIRY.
[LAUGHS]
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE. OOH!
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
ALL THAT CHASING AND RUNNING AROUND
IS MAKING ME WANT TO DO THE SLEEP THING AGAIN.
KID, I LIKE YOUR ENTHUSIASM,
BUT I THINK WE HAVE TO WORK ON
NARROWING DOWN OUR LIST OF SUSPECTS.
NOW I'M GOING TO GO CHECK IN
WITH SOME OF MY CONTACTS UPTOWN.
YEAH.
[SNORES]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
KID'S GOT A LOT OF EVIL IN HIM
JUST BEGGING TO COME OUT.
[GROWLING]
[GROWLING]
[GROWLING]
[SNORES]
[ROARING]
[ROARING]
[SCREECHING]
[BARKING AND HOWLING]
[BARKING AND HOWLING]
[SNORES]
[GROWLING]
[GROWLING]
[SNORES]
I WILL EAT YOUR HEART.
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
THERE'S OUR MAN.
WELL, MR. SLEEPYHEAD
MUST HAVE SOME MAJOR TIES TO THE DARK SIDE.
MUST HAVE SOME MAJOR TIES TO THE DARK SIDE.
WHAT'S WITH THAT GUY?
IT'S GOT TO BE ONE OF HIS DISCIPLES OR SOMETHING.
[GROWLS]
MY MAN'S INTO DEEP NOCTURNAL SHIT.
WHOO! MM-HMM. YEAH.
John: YO, MAN, I THINK THAT DEVIL GUY
JUST GOT RIPPED OFF.
SHOULD WE WAKE HIM UP?
YEAH. YOU DO IT.
[GROWLS]
[GROWLS]
RISE AND SHINE, DEVIL GUY.
SOME DUDE JUST STOLE YOUR SHIT.
WHAT? WHERE?
AAH!
WHICH WAY DID HE GO?
UH, THAT WAY.
THANKS.
GIVE ME BACK MY FLASK!
DID YOU CHECK OUT THE DRAGON MOUTH?
THE DARK PRINCE IS HERE.
UHH! UHH!
UHH! UHH!
RUNNIN', RUNNIN', RUNNIN'
THROUGH MY HEAD
THEY TELL YOU IT WAS GOOD FOREVER
BUT I KNOW IT'S NOW OR NEVER
RUNNIN', RUNNIN', RUNNIN'
THROUGH MY HEAD
Man: CHECK OUT MY STUFF. I GOT A LOW PRICE.
I GOT A PEPPER SHAKER.
I GOT A SILVER DOODAD FROM AFRICA.
HEY.
SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE, MY MAN?
YES. I WOULD LIKE MY FLASK BACK.
YOU CALLING ME A THIEF, MY MAN?
I'M CALLING YOU THE GUY WHO HAS MY FLASK.
HOW WOULD I HAVE IT UNLESS I WAS, IN FACT, A THIEF?
I DON'T KNOW.
NOW YOU'VE GONE AND DONE IT.
YOU DONE MESSED WITH MY BUSINESS, BITCH.
I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU KEPT YOUR VOICE DOWN.
OH...
YOU GOING ALL CRAZY-EYED ON ME.
I'LL SHOW YOU SOME CRAZY EYE.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
LOOK AT THIS. COME ON, LET'S GET BUSY.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
WHO?
DOES THAT FLASK BELONG TO THIS MAN?
NOW YOU GOING TO CALL ME A THIEF, TOO? DAMN.
OK, LOOK, TODAY, THE GUY YOU RIPPED OFF
JUST HAPPENED TO WALK BY AND BUST YOU,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM HIS FLASK BACK?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IF I DON'T?
BITE ME WITH YOUR SNAGGLETOOTH?
NO...
BUT MAYBE THAT POLICEMAN OVER THERE
MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
HMM.
HMM.
AW, TAKE YOUR DUMB-ASS CANTEEN, GOOFY.
AW, TAKE YOUR DUMB-ASS CANTEEN, GOOFY.
AND YOU, GET YOUR RAGGEDY-ASS CLOTHES
AND FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER CORNER
BEFORE I SHOW YOU WHAT CRAZY REALLY IS.
FINE. I WILL.
BLEAH! [CLICKS TONGUE] I'M A BUSINESSMAN.
I'LL BE SEEING YOU IN A FEW YEARS.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[CLICKS TONGUE]
EXCUSE ME.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU.
OH, THAT'S OK.
I GET MESSED WITH ALL THE TIME.
WHEN I SAW HIM DO THAT TO YOU,
I JUST LOST IT.
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF TOURISTS.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M A TOURIST?
OH.
YOUR ACCENT, MAYBE.
WELL, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
THE SOUTH. REALLY?
THE DEEP SOUTH.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[BOTH LAUGH]
HA HA!
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WAS ENJOYING IT.
YOUR GLASSES ARE PRETTY.
THEY MAKE YOUR EYES LOOK BIG AND SPARKLY.
IT'S FUN LOOKING AT THEM.
IT'S FUN LOOKING AT THEM.
OH. MY DAD'S AN OPTOMETRIST.
MY DAD'S IN HELL, AND HE'S FALLING APART.
OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S REALLY TOUGH WHEN YOUR FOLKS GET OLDER.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I COULDN'T SAVE HIM.
WELL, I'M SURE A NICE SOUTHERN BOY LIKE YOU
WILL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
YOU WANT SOME POPEYE'S?
HA HA! NO.
I--I HAD MY LUNCH ALREADY.
OK.
BUT I WOULDN'T MIND GETTING A GELATI.
COULD I COME WITH YOU TO GETTING A GELATI?
IF YOU WANT TO.
[LAUGHS]
HERE YOU GO, PAL. ENJOY.
MMM. THANK YOU.
IT'S FREEZING MY HANDS.
EVEN WITH THOSE GLOVES ON?
YEAH, IT'S COLD.
HERE, LET ME WRAP IT.
PLEASE. THANK YOU.
GELATI.
THAT'S BETTER. YEAH.
[MAN MUTTERING]
OOH!
WHY ARE YOU TAUNTING ME WITH YOUR DARKNESS?
YOUR EVIL, IT'S STINKING UP OUR STREETS!
THE END IS NEAR!
WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!
[CLANG]
[GASPS]
THIS TOWN IS REALLY GOING TO HELL LATELY.
YEAH.
SO, WHAT PART OF TOWN DO YOU LIVE IN?
I HAVE AN APARTMENT. I'M NOT SURE WHERE.
MY DOG KNOWS, THOUGH.
YOU HAVE A DOG? WHAT KIND?
I DON'T KNOW. I'D ASK HIM,
BUT HE'S UPTOWN MEETING HIS CONTACTS.
SAY "MR. BEEFY." SAY IT. SAY IT.
MR. BEEFY.
AND...I LOVE YOU!
YOU GO TO SCHOOL? WHAT'S THAT LIKE?
OH, I GO TO PARSONS SCHOOL OF DESIGN.
I KNEW GROWING UP I WASN'T MUCH TO LOOK AT,
SO I CONCENTRATED ON MAKING THINGS THAT ARE PRETTY.
YOU HAVE A NICE SMELL COMING OFF YOU.
[SNIFFS] OH, THAT'S MY PERFUME.
IT'S CALLED COMME DE SUD PACIFIC.
I THINK THAT'S FRENCH FOR "COCONUTS."
I THINK THAT'S FRENCH FOR "COCONUTS."
[SNIFFING]
[SNIFFING]
[GIGGLES]
THAT'S BETTER THAN THE GELATI.
THAT'S BETTER THAN THE GELATI.
VALERIE, IT FEELS LIKE
THERE'S A BUNCH OF BUTTERFLIES
FLAPPING AROUND IN MY STOMACH RIGHT NOW.
IS THAT NORMAL?
SOMETIMES, SURE.
GOOD, 'CAUSE I WAS CONCERNED.
WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME? I WAS GOOD TO THEM.
I CAN HARDLY NOTICE. HONEST.
I CAN HARDLY NOTICE. HONEST.
I SURE HOPE NICKY'S KICKIN' SOME ASS ON EARTH
OR WE ARE DOOMED.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED HELL.
I KNOW THAT, YOUR HATEFULNESS.
BUT, ACTUALLY, THE CREDIT FOR STARTING HELL
BELONGS TO MY FIRST WIFE, YOU KNOW.
SHE WAS THE INSPIRATION.
[LAUGHING]
HEY, CHEWBACCA, TAKE IT EASY, WILL YOU?
IN FACT, YOU LOOK LIKE MY FIRST WIFE.
ONLY SHE HAD MORE HAIR.
[HOWLING]
IN ANOTHER STARTLING ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CITY HALL,
MAYOR RANDOLPH HAS, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY,
LOWERED THE LEGAL DRINKING AGE
FROM 21 TO 10.
???? SO YOU WANT TO BE A ROCK SUPERSTAR ????
???? AND LIVE LARGE... ????
WHEN AN ADULT GOES TO HELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
BLARRGH!
BUT WHEN A CHILD GOES... [LAUGHS]
THAT'S WHY I'M IN THIS BUSINESS.
[LAUGHING]
LITTLE NICKY.
Valerie: KNOW WHAT'S NICE ABOUT YOU?
WHAT?
I LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE HAPPY JUST BEING YOURSELF.
YOU DON'T TRY TO ACT COOL.
THANKS MUCH, VALERIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICE ABOUT YOU?
[SCREECHING]
[STRUGGLING]
YOUR JUICY HEART-SHAPED HEINIE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.
I--I MEANT TO SAY THAT...
I'VE ALWAYS DREAMT ABOUT HAVING SEX
WITH A GROSS PIG.
CAN I WASH MY WINKY IN YOUR KITCHEN SINKY?
YOU'RE A REAL JERK!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE.
WHAT THE--ADRIAN!
HA HA HA!
DAD NEEDS YOU TO COME BACK TO HELL.
SO HE SENT OLD SHOVEL FACE TO FETCH ME.
I'M NOT KIDDING. HE'S IN TROUBLE.
SO ARE YOU.
HEY, VALERIE!
HEY, VALERIE!
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
I'M SORRY!
OOH!
ADRIAN, YOU GUYS FROZE THE FIRE GATE
AND NOW DAD IS DYING,
SO GET YOUR BOOTY BACK HOME OR ELSE!
YOU CAN'T TALK TOUGH, NICKY.
EVEN THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD HAS A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.
ADRIAN, YOU'RE GONNA GO BACK
BECAUSE I'M GONNA MAKE YOU GO BACK.
HOW ABOUT THIS? I'LL STAY HERE,
ENJOYING MY PIZZA AND MY PEPPERMINT SCHNAPPS,
AND YOU GO BACK.
ADRIAN, DON'T!
CUT THE CRAP! THIS IS SERIOUS!
CUT THE CRAP! THIS IS SERIOUS!
AW, COME ON!
AW, COME ON!
OHH-HH!
SO I WAS DRIVING TO WORK TODAY,
SOME BOZO IN A CADILLAC CUTS ME OFF.
SO I FOLLOWED HIM.
WHEN HE GOT OUT OF HIS CAR, I RUN UP BEHIND THIS GUY,
AND I START BASHING HIS BRAINS IN WITH THIS BAT.
DID YOU EVER SEE THE UNTOUCHABLES?
I WAS DE NIRO!
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU, REGIS?!
MM-HMM.
THE MAYOR'S OFFICE TODAY, IN CONJUNCTION
WITH THE NEW YORK BOARD OF TOURISM,
UNVEILED ITS NEW MOTTO TO REPLACE
THE LONG-STANDING "I LOVE NEW YORK" SLOGAN.
"I LOVE HOOKERS" WILL NOW BE THE CITY'S CATCH PHRASE.
YOUR BROTHERS ARE UPSETTING THE BALANCE
BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL.
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
YOU CAN'T DO JACK SHIT
UNLESS YOU LEARN YOUR EVIL POWERS.
GO GET A SODA OUT OF THE FRIDGE.
BUT THOSE ARE MY ROOMMATE'S SODAS.
"BUT THOSE ARE MY ROOMMATE'S SODAS."
DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A STATEMENT
THE SON OF THE DEVIL WOULD MAKE?
ALL RIGHT. TAKE IT EASY.
NICKY, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE
THE COLA IN THAT CAN INTO ANY OTHER LIQUID.
ENGINE OIL, BAT'S BLOOD, MOOSE PISS.
YOU JUST HAVE TO RELEASE THE EVIL WITHIN.
RELEASE THE EVIL?
I'M JUST SAYING THERE'S WICKEDNESS IN YOU.
I CAN TELL FROM YOUR SNORES.
REALLY?
RELEASE YOUR EVIL.
RELEASE YOUR EVIL.
RELEASE THE EVIL.
RELEASE THE EVIL.
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.
THERE IT IS.
YOU GOT IT IN YOU.
[BUBBLING]
[BUBBLING]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY!
OH! I-
OH! I-
ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO PRETEND
I DIDN'T SEE A DOG ON THE COUCH,
BECAUSE MY BRAIN JUST CAN'T PROCESS THAT RIGHT NOW.
BUT WERE YOU ABOUT TO DRINK ONE OF MY COKES?
NO. I WAS JUST LOOKING AT IT.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
[OPENS CAN]
[SLURPS]
[GULPS]
THIS COKE TASTES LIKE PEPSI.
THIS COKE TASTES LIKE PEPSI.
YOU CHANGED A COKE INTO A PEPSI?
THAT WAS YOUR BIG TRANSFORMATION?
COME ON, MAN, GIVE IT UP A LITTLE.
IT WAS PRETTY GOOD FOR MY FIRST TRY.
DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT YOUR BROTHERS
ARE KILLING YOUR FATHER?
YES, I CARE!
AND HE IS NOT GOING TO DIE!
AND HE IS NOT GOING TO DIE!
[GLASS EXPLODES]
ATTA-BOY.
I'M FREAKED OUT.
MY TELEVISION JUST BLEW UP.
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID!
I MEAN, REALLY?
I KNOW THIS IS YOUR LIVING ROOM TIME,
BUT COULD I FINISH WATCHING THE GLOBETROTTERS OUT HERE?
IT'S THE CRAZIEST GAME I'VE EVER SEEN.
[WHISTLING THEME]
[WHISTLING THEME]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[HIGH VOICE] HE'S WALKING! GET HIM A BUS!
THIS IS THE PART I DON'T GET.
ANOTHER TERRIBLE CALL.
THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS TRAVELING.
WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE CALLS?
WE HAVEN'T LOST A GAME IN 53 YEARS!
GUESS WHAT, CORNROWS?
TECHNICAL FOUL! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!
HA HA HA HA!
[BOOING]
WHY'S THE REF BEING SO MEAN TO THE GLOBETROTTERS, DADDY?
I'VE BEEN WATCHING THESE GUYS PLAY
SINCE I WAS YOUR AGE.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE SHOW, BABY.
[CACKLES]
THAT GUY IN THE STRIPED SHIRT
SNAPPED HIS FINGERS LIKE SOMEBODY I KNOW!
[CACKLING]
[CACKLING]
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NORMALLY THE GLOBETROTTERS
REPRESENT FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT.
WHO GIVES A SHIT?
[SOBBING]
THESE KIDS CAME HERE TO SEE THE GLOBETROTTERS WIN!
10 POINTS OFF'N THE GLOBETROTTERS
ON ACCOUNT OF THE BIGMOUTH!
[CACKLES]
BOO! BOO!
IT'S ALL PART OF THE SHOW, BABY! HA HA!
HIT THE HALF-TIME BUZZER. I'M TIRED.
IF THE SECOND HALF DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS,
YOU CAN EXPECT A FULL-SCALE RIOT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS NOW TIME
FOR THE GLOBETROTTERS' HALF-TIME
HALF-COURT HEAVE-HO THROW!
AND IF THE CONTESTANT MAKES IT,
EVERYONE HERE WILL GET A FREE PIZZA PIE!
I AIN'T TAKIN' THE SHOT. THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL TAKE THAT SHOT.
OK.
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO COME AND SEE
THE GLOBETROTTERS TODAY, SON?
I CAME FOR THE BEER AND THE BITCHES.
OHH.
LOOKS WHO'S BACK FROM THE DEAD.
666! PICKUP STICKS!
YEAH!
PLEASE WELCOME MIGUEL SANCHEZ
FROM THE BRONX, NEW YORK!
WHAT'S NICKY DOING THERE?
TRYING TO CAPTURE HIS BROTHER IN A FLASK
AND PRESERVE THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL ON EARTH.
DID YOU JUST TALK?
NO.
NO.
ARE YOU MIGUEL FROM THE BRONX?
NO. I'M NICKY FROM THE SOUTH.
HEY, GIMME THAT!
AAH!
YOU BETTER WIN THESE PEOPLE SOME FREE PIZZA
'CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER.
ALL RIGHT.
WHO'S THAT MAN, MOMMY?
WHO'S THAT MAN, MOMMY?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE SURE IS BUTT-UGLY.
RELEASE THE EVIL.
RELEASE THE EVIL.
OH! OH!
TOO MUCH EVIL.
I THINK THAT BALL JUST BLEW UP,
AND, YES, MY HAIR IS AFLAME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS.
DON'T DO IT AGAIN, HUH?
ALL RIGHT.
I COMMAND YOU NOT TO BLOW UP
AND GO INTO THAT METAL CIRCLE.
AND GO INTO THAT METAL CIRCLE.
UNH!
NYAH!
HEY!
GET THAT CRAP OUTTA HERE!
[SHOUTING]
I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING FUN, CASSIUS,
BUT YOU REALLY GOTTA COME BACK TO HELL.
LOOK AROUND YOU, NICKY. WE'RE IN HELL.
THE NEW HELL. HA HA HA!
THE NEW HELL. HA HA HA!
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! WHEE!
HA HA HA!
I WAS SENT HERE TO TAKE YOU BACK
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OUT THE SHOVEL AGAIN, TRICK.
I THINK WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE A DEVIL SHOWDOWN.
YEAH! HA HA HA!
YOU KNOW, DAD GOT SICK WHEN YOU GUYS LEFT.
I'M GLAD HE'S DYING...
'CAUSE IT'S MY TURN NOW.
'CAUSE IT'S MY TURN NOW.
YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU NEVER SAID THAT.
YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU NEVER SAID THAT.
TAKE HIM TO THE HOLE, NICKY.
I MEAN, WOOF WOOF.
I MEAN, WOOF WOOF.
COME ON, BROTHER, COME ON! HA HA!
OH, COME ON!
OH, COME ON!
HA HA HA HA!
DADDY CAN'T HELP YOU! DADDY CAN'T HELP YOU!
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH!
THIS SHOW GETS BETTER EVERY YEAR!
HA HA HA!
THAT WAS SICK. WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT SHIT?
SORRY, CASSIUS.
IT MUST BE THE SUPER DEVIL JUICE DAD GAVE ME.
SUPER DEVIL JUICE? GIMME THAT, LITTLE GIRL.
DON'T DRINK OUT OF IT, PLEASE!
[SLURPS]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
NOW THAT WAS SOME STRAIGHT-UP DAVID COPPERFIELD SHIT!
NOW THAT WAS SOME STRAIGHT-UP DAVID COPPERFIELD SHIT!
Cassius: DAMN YOU, NICKY!
THERE AIN'T NO SUPER DEVIL JUICE IN HERE!
HAIL, NICKY!
WE ARE FOREVER YOUR SLAVES!
WE ARE FOREVER YOUR SLAVES!
OH, NO, OH, NO
SO YOUR FATHER'S THE DEVIL...
SI, SENOR.
YOU'RE A TALKING DOG FROM HELL. YEP.
AND YOU GUYS ARE WHO?
JUST A COUPLE OF BIG FANS OF NICKY
AND THE WORK HIS DAD DOES.
HEY, BY THE WAY, NICKY, CHECK THIS OUT.
[PLAYING RECORD BACKWARD]
WHAT'S OZZY TRYING TO SAY THERE?
JOHN, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
THE BLIZZARD ALWAYS CAME STRAIGHT WITH HIS MESSAGES.
BUT WRAP YOUR MINDS AROUND THIS, GENTLEMEN.
Beefy: OH, NO. HEH HEH HEH.
CHICAGO.
CHICAGO.
DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW
I LOVE THIS SONG.
[PLAYS RECORD BACKWARD]
Record: I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF LUCIFER
TO SPREAD THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT.
OH, MY GOD, CHICAGO KICKS ASS!
HA HA HA!
THAT WAS AWESOME.
YOU KNOW, GUYS, THIS CAKE TASTES A LITTLE FUNNY.
OH, I DUMPED A FAT SACK OF REEFER IN THE MIX.
THOUGHT I'D SPICE UP THE BASH.
WHAT'S REEFER? REALLY?
ABOUT 500 BUCKS AN OUNCE.
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
COME ON, NICKY, ONE MORE TIME.
I CAN'T. IT'S STARTING TO HURT.
COME ON, YOU TOTALLY GOT TO!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LAST TIME.
OHH, HERE HE GOES!
OHH, HERE HE GOES!
AHH!
THAT'S INSANE!
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
HA HA HA!
I USED TO GET MESSED UP LIKE THIS
WITH MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND HEATHER.
WE'D GET SO LOOPY,
SHE WOULD FORGET I WAS A DOG.
SHE WAS A HUMAN?
NO. SHE WAS A SEWER RAT.
HA HA HA!
MAN, THAT PISSED MY PARENTS OFF.
YOU KNOW, I WAS IN LOVE ONCE,
BUT SHE SAID I WASN'T FINANCIALLY RELIABLE
AND SHE NEEDED THAT.
NOW, BY "SHE," DO YOU MEAN "HE"?
BUSTED! NO.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
PLEASE.
HEY, HOW YOU FEELIN' OVER THERE, SATAN ABDUL-JABBAR?
A LITTLE STRANGE.
I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS GIRL VALERIE.
WHY? DID SHE HURT YOU?
DO YOU NEED TO CRY ON MY SHOULDER?
EASY, LIBERACE.
OH, WOULD YOU GROW UP?
LIBERACE.
I WAS HAVING THE BEST DAY WITH HER
UNTIL ADRIAN MADE ME TELL HER
SHE HAD A HEART-SHAPED HEINIE.
MAYBE YOU LOVE HER. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
I CAN'T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT.
HA HA HA!
ME, TOO! HEY, WE GOT TO GET GOING.
YOU GUYS CAN CRASH HERE IF YOU WANT.
I HAVE AN EXTRA FUTON IN THE BEDROOM.
THAT'S A BIG PASS, ELTON JOHN.
[LAUGHTER]
OZZY STARTS IN 30 MINUTES.
MAYBE THAT'LL CHEER YOU UP, NICKY.
YEAH, LET'S ROLL.
ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK I CAN GIVE THE OZZ MAN
THE FULL FOCUS HE DESERVES. SORRY, FELLAS.
OH. THIS CHICK MUST BE THE REAL DEAL, THEN.
LATER, BRO.
GOOD-BYE, JOHN. OK, PETE.
YOU BETTER SNAP OUT OF IT SOON, KID,
'CAUSE WE'RE GOING AFTER ADRIAN TOMORROW
BRIGHT AND EARLY. NIGHT-NIGHT.
YEAH, I KNOW. GET SOME SLEEP THING, MR. BEEFY.
[SNORES]
[CHILDREN'S VOICES] LA LA LA LA LA LA
[SNORES]
LA LA LA LA LA LA
THAT IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.
MAMA, I'M COMING HOME ?
GO TO HER.
GO TO HER.
I'M COMING HOME
I'M COMING HOME
ALL RIGHT.
[SNIFFS]
I SMELL COCONUTS.
U? I'VE WAITED HERE FOR YOU
COCONUTS.
EVERLONG
[SNIFFS]
TONIGHT
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
I--I--I--I--I--I NEED-- I NEED YOU
OH. HELLO.
THAT DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY.
YOU WANT TO COME IN?
ACTUALLY, I'M--I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL NAMED VALERIE.
VALERIE VERAN?
TWO FLOORS UP, ONE WINDOW OVER.
THANKS MUCH.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE NIPPLE RUBBING.
I DON'T NEED LUCK.
I'M GOOD.
OOH! I--I CAN SEE THAT.
OOH! I--I CAN SEE THAT.
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
AAH! [GASPS]
OH, MY GOD! NICKY, IS THAT YOU?
YES. STAY RIGHT THERE.
I WILL.
I WILL.
HI.
AAH!
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING COMING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT DIDN'T INVOLVE GOING BLIND.
AAH!
OH, MY GOD! NICKY!
PLEASE DON'T DIE!
PLEASE DON'T DIE!
NICKY?
VALERIE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I--I THINK I'M FLOATING.
WHY WOULD YOU BE FLOATING?
MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF THIS CAKE I ATE EARLIER.
AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE FREAKED OUT RIGHT NOW?
BECAUSE I AM.
I'M FREAKED OUT, TOO.
THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH
ARE FLAPPING AROUND
IN A WAY I'VE NEVER FELT BEFORE.
YOU GOT THE WRONG WINDOW AGAIN, MAN.
OH, SORRY, NIPPLES. VALERIE!
Valerie: NICKY, OVER HERE.
I'M COMING.
OH, MY GOD, YOU MADE IT.
VALERIE, I CAN SEE AGAIN, AND YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
AAH!
LOOK, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FLOATING
DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO FORGET ABOUT
YOU GIVING ME THE FINGER.
THAT WASN'T ME.
I WAS BEING POSSESSED BY MY BROTHER ADRIAN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, POSSESSED?
REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU
THAT MY FATHER WAS IN HELL?
YES.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE DEVIL,
AND HE WANTS TO KEEP HIS THRONE
FOR ANOTHER 10,000 YEARS.
AND THAT PISSED OFF MY BROTHERS,
SO THEY BROKE THE GATES OF HELL,
WHICH IS MAKING MY FATHER...
THE DEVIL?
DECOMPOSE.
AND I LOVE MY FATHER VERY MUCH,
SO I CAME TO EARTH TO SAVE HIM.
SO I CAME TO EARTH TO SAVE HIM.
NOW I GET THAT DEEP SOUTH JOKE.
YES!
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BELIEVE YOU.
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE.
BELIEVE IN THE BUTTERFLIES.
WAIT. OK. OK, OK, I BELIEVE.
COME ON. COME BACK UP.
COME ON. COME BACK UP.
TAKE MY HAND, VALERIE.
TAKE MY HAND, VALERIE.
FLY WITH ME.
I CAN GIVE YOU THE POWER.
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
YOU'RE THE PERFECT ONE
AND I DON'T...
THAT'S THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
THERE'S POPEYE'S CHICKEN--RIGHT THERE.
[LAUGHS]
THE HELL BEAST IS ABOVE US,
AND I CAN SMELL AN EVIL SLUT.
AND I CAN SMELL AN EVIL SLUT.
WHOA, DEVIL!
DID YOU DO THAT?
NOBODY CALLS MY GIRL AN EVIL SLUT.
[LAUGHS]
GOOD MORNING, NEW YORK.
THIS IS ANACTION NEWS SPECIAL REPORT.
A SHOCKING CRIME
RESULTS IN A RECORD $50 MILLION REWARD
FOR THE CAPTURE OF THIS MAN.
HIS NAME IS UNKNOWN,
BUT HIS ACTIONS HAVE EARNED HIM THE LABEL "THE MONSTER."
HE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED
ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
THE MAN WHO CAUSED SUCH A SENSATION
AT THE GAME YESTERDAY IS NO HERO.
HE IS, IN FACT, A MASS MURDERER.
THIS IS REAL BAD.
Beefy: WHERE THE HECK IS NICKY?
I HAVE AUTHORIZED A REWARD
TO THE PERSON WHO BRINGS THIS MAN TO ME.
Beefy: IT'S A SETUP.
Beefy: IT'S A SETUP.
GOOD MORNING, YOUNG LADY.
GOOD MORNING, YOUNG LADY.
AH, HO.
THAT LOOKS LIKE IT TASTES GREAT.
[LAUGHS]
LOOK AT THAT.
MR. BEEFY WOULD LIKE YOU.
OH, LOOK.
OH, LOOK.
WELL, I'M ON MY WAY
[SNIFFS]
TO THE CITY LIGHTS
[MAN SPEAKING KOREAN]
[MAN SPEAKING KOREAN]
WELCOME TO HARD TIMES
Girl: THERE HE IS!
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
SO WHEN I REALIZE WHAT IT TAKES
CAN I RELATE WITH WHATEVER
BUT NEVER WILL YOU DRIVE ME TO HATE
BUT NEVER WILL YOU DRIVE ME TO HATE
[YELLING]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
AAH! AAH!
All: WHOA!
All: WHOA!
WAIT. WAIT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
[PANTING]
[PANTING]
THERE HE IS!
[CROWD YELLING]
[CROWD YELLING]
I'M NOT A MONSTER.
I'M NOT A MONSTER.
I'M NOT A MONSTER.
[YELLING STOPS]
RELEASE THE EVIL.
RELEASE THE EVIL.
[YELLING]
HEY! HEY!
[CROWD SCREAMING]
[CROWD SCREAMING]
OH.
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
BEEFY, I THINK I'M IN TROUBLE.
THE SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN, KID.
TAKE A LOOK.
THIS VIDEOTAPE WILL SHOW WHAT HE DID
AFTER HE LEFT THE GAME.
AFTER HE LEFT THE GAME.
Nicky: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND.
Nicky: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND.
[SCREAMING]
MY NAME IS NICKY,
AND I'M GOING TO KILL ALL YOU SUCKERS FOR NO REASON.
Nicky: THAT'S NOT ME. THAT'S THAT COCKROACH
TONY MONTANA.
TONY MONTANA.
IT'S DIFFICULT TO WATCH, I KNOW.
THIS IS ADRIAN'S WORK.
Beefy: HE SUPERIMPOSED YOUR HEAD
ONTOSCARFACE.
WHICH IS PROBABLY DePALMA'S THIRD BEST FILM.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] HEY!
OH.
I'M NOT NICKY.
Pete: DUDE, IT'S US. LET US IN.
Nicky: JOHN, PETE.
NICKY.
THERE'S, LIKE, A TOTAL MOB SCENE COMING THIS WAY.
IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE FOLLOWING
A GIANT TRAIL OF BUG SHIT.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW, BEEFY?
I DON'T KNOW.
THIS IS A LITTLE OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
WHAT WOULD YOUR DAD DO, NICKY?
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
I'LL ASK HIM. KILL ME.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES. WE'LL MEET AT GRAND CENTRAL STATION, NOON.
NOW I COMMAND YOU-- DO ME.
ALL RIGHT!
AAH!
OW!
OW!
THAT JUST HURT A LOT.
STILL ALIVE, THOUGH.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE.
CAN I GIVE IT A TRY?
[SOBBING]
[SOBBING]
DAMN YOU, KEVIN SPACEY!
YOU TAKE ALL MY PARTS!
YOU TAKE ALL MY PARTS!
HEY, YOU LOSE-- ROYAL FLUSH.
OFF WITH THE BRASSIERE.
WHOO. THE LAST TIME I SAW A PAIR OF JUGS THAT BIG,
2 HILLBILLIES WERE BLOWING ON THEM.
AH HA HA HA HA!
AH HA HA HA HA!
Satan: EEE...
EEE...
OH, MY GOD, DAD.
NICKY...
I GOT NO LEGS.
I GOT NO HIPS.
I GOT ONE EAR.
I GOT NO EARS.
NOW HE HASNOEARS.
ARE YOU HAPPY, NICKY?
ADRIAN'S GOT THE WHOLE CITY FOLLOWING ME.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, NICKY!
CHECK ONE, TWO. CHECK ONE, TWO.
PUT IT BACK ON MY HEAD!
HEY, YOU GOT UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.
NOW YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK UP THERE,
AND YOU SAVE YOUR FATHER. GO!
I'M GOING TO SAVE YOU, DAD.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
I'M GOING TO SAVE YOU!
GO, THEN! OHH! MOVE IT!
OHH! GO, NICKY, GO!
SURE YOU'RE DOWN WITH THIS?
A LITTLE NERVOUS. WANT TO PUKE.
A LITTLE NERVOUS. WANT TO PUKE.
HEY, HEY, FUZZ.
WE KNOW WHERE TO FIND NICKY.
HEY!
HEY, HEY!
[POLICE TALKING]
[GRUNTING]
Officer: LET'S GO.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP, POLICE CHIEF?
YOU HAVE WHAT I WANT.
YOU GOT WHAT WE WANT?
Pete: 50 MILLION BONES, BRO.
Officer: HERE'S THE MONEY.
WHOA, MY GOD!
Chief: THAT'S HALF OF IT.
YOU GET THE REST WHEN I GET NICKY.
THANKS MUCH.
BUT I GOTTA WARN YOU, MAN.
HE'S KINDA NOT HUMAN.
REALLY?
HE MIGHT BE THE SON OF SATAN.
HE MIGHT BE THE SON OF SATAN.
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
HEH HEH HEH. HA HA HA!
HEY!
HEY!
WELL, I GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL,
THEN, AREN'T I?
[CHOKING] [GROANING]
NOW, WHERE IS HE?
HEY, COME ON, THAT WAS COOL!
DO IT AGAIN!
DO IT AGAIN!
OUT OF THE WAY!
OUT OF THE WAY!
UHH.
Todd: WHERE IS HE?
HE'S LATE.
HE'LL BE HERE. JUST KEEP YOUR SKIRT ON.
Pete: THAT'S WHERE HE COMES OUT OF.
Cop: OVER THERE! HEY!
Cop: OVER THERE! HEY!
WE'VE BEEN RATTED OUT.
WE THOUGHT THE SON OF SATAN
WOULD UNDERSTAND A MOVE LIKE THIS.
Chief: GET THESE TWO OUT OF HERE.
ALL RIGHT, THIS WAY.
OK, OK!
WHAT IS THIS? A BULLDOG AND HIS GAY LOVER?
OH, SHUT UP.
[JOHN LAUGHS]
Pete: IT'S TRUE.
JUDAS.
JUDAS PRIEST, MAYBE.
OK, LOOK. I'M ONLY AN ACTOR.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
TAKE HIM TO THE HOLDING AREA.
SEAL OFF ALL THE EXITS.
Todd: I'M ONLY AN ACTOR!
WHOA. HEH HEH HEH.
YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL?
DEFINITELY. YEAH.
DEFINITELY. YEAH.
[AHEM]
[AHEM]
[GROANS]
WHOA. WHOA.
HO HO HO HO.
PICK ME A WINNER. HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
Pete: OH, SICK!
OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS AWESOME!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
SO, WHAT TIME'S MY BROTHER EXPECTED BACK?
NOON.
NOON.
ISH.
HEY, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT REALLY THE CHIEF,
WE STILL GET THE REST OF THE CASH, RIGHT, BRO?
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'LL GET, BOYS?
AN INDESCRIBABLY HORRIFIC TORTURE
ADMINISTERED BY DEMONS
FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.
AND WE GET TO KEEP THE CASH, TOO, RIGHT?
SURE.
WHY NOT.
YOU'RE HURTING ME. YOU'RE HURTING ME.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
Bum: APPLESAUCE EVERY TIME.
HEY, BOYS!
YOU WANT A BLIZZARD WITH MY FLIP-FLOP?
NO THANKS,
BUT WE'LL TAKE THAT BOTTLE OF BOOZE.
HEH HEH HEH.
BEAT IT, YOU FREAK. GET OUTTA HERE.
I'LL BE BACK WITH MY FLIP-FLOP!
I'LL BE BACK WITH MY FLIP-FLOP!
MMM. SCHNAPPS.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
PEPPERMINT? HEH HEH HEH.
ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!
John: WANT A HIT?
John: WANT A HIT?
DRINK UP. HERE'S TO 50 MILLION CLAMS.
TO THE DEFILEMENT OF EARTH
AND THE CORRUPTION OF ITS PEOPLE.
OK, WHATEVER. JUST DRINK IT.
CHEERS.
CHEERS.
[GULPS]
[GULPS]
Adrian: IT'S AWFULLY HOT DOWN HERE.
HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO STAY SO COOL?
OH, UH...
BEER LOWERS THE BODY TEMPERATURE.
I READ THAT IN A...
A BEER MAGAZINE. HEH HEH HEH.
AH. THIS LIQUID WILL PROBABLY QUENCH MY THIRST.
AH. THIS LIQUID WILL PROBABLY QUENCH MY THIRST.
COOL ME OFF.
DEFINITELY.
John: IT GIVE YOU A PRETTY GOOD BUZZ.
John: IT GIVE YOU A PRETTY GOOD BUZZ.
OR MAYBE IT WILL TRAP ME INSIDE
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.
UM...NO, IT WON'T?
OH, NICKY.
I'VE MISSED YOU.
COME OUT AND SAY HELLO!
I'M NOT NICKY.
I'M CALLING YOU OUT, BROTHER!
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
[DEEP VOICE] ADRIAN,
THIS IS VERY PAINFUL.
[GROANING]
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
AHH.
THERE YOU ARE.
I TOLD YOU HE WAS SICK.
OH, HELLO, CASSIUS.
Cassius: ALL RIGHT, ADRIAN! LET ME OUT!
YOU KNOW, NEW HELL REALLY ONLY NEEDS
ONE NEW SATAN.
YOU MOTHER FU-
BUT CASSIUS COULD USE SOME COMPANY
FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.
FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.
SO GET IN THE FLASK.
KICK HIS ASS, NICKY.
SLEEP.
YOU GOT IT.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
[WHINING]
Officer: HEY, HOLD UP.
SOMEONE'S GOTTA TAKE A PEE.
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
Cop: THAT DOG'S GOT SMOKE BALLS!
Cop: THAT DOG'S GOT SMOKE BALLS!
RUN, BEEFY!
RUN!
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DRINK, ADRIAN.
OF COURSE I CAN.
OF COURSE I CAN.
[GASPS]
AAAAH!
AAAAH!
OH, IT'S NICKY'S LITTLE RAGAMUFFIN.
DRINK OR SHE DIES.
UNLIKE YOU, SHE WON'T COME BACK
FROM WHERE SHE'S GOING.
[PANTING]
LET GO OF HER!
THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME!
[TRAIN APPROACHES]
I HEAR A TRAIN A-COMIN'!
I HEAR A TRAIN A-COMIN'!
ADRIAN, STOP!
DRINK!
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DRINK. DON'T HURT HER.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DRINK. DON'T HURT HER.
DON'T DO IT, NICKY!
I HAVE TO, VALERIE.
I HAVE TO, VALERIE.
[VALERIE STRUGGLES]
[PANTING]
[PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
AAAAH!
NOW, THAT HURT THE BOTH OF US.
[GROWLS]
AAH! NO!
AAH! AAH!
AAH! AAH!
VALERIE!
VALERIE!
AAAH!
AAAH!
SEE YOU IN HELL!
AAH! AAH!
AAH! AAH!
HEY, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
YOU CAN GO FOR A SWIM.
HEY.
YOU CAN PLAY THE HARMONICA,
AND YOU CAN CHOKE SOMEONE.
TAKE ME TO MY ROOM. I WANT TO BE ALONE!
IN YOUR WEAKENED CONDITION, IF YOU VACATE THE THRONE,
ANY OF YOUR SONS CAN CLAIM THE SEAT OF POWER
FOR THEIR OWN.
[GROANS] HORSESHIT.
HEY, GOOD NEWS. ADRIAN'S BACK.
SO I'M GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
SO I'M GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
HELLO.
WHERE'S NICKY?
HE CAME WITH YOU AND CASSIUS, RIGHT?
I CAME THROUGH THAT GATE ALONE.
SORRY, SIR. FALSE ALARM.
BOO.
WOULD EVERYONE STOP PLAYING WITH ME
AND TELL ME WHAT MY BROTHER'S UP TO?
AND TELL ME WHAT MY BROTHER'S UP TO?
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
I FEEL LIKE A NEWBORN ?
I FEEL LIKE A NEWBORN ?
AND I FEEL LIKE A NEWBORN
IS IT DAD'S BIRTHDAY?
SO REAL
SO REAL
[GASPS]
THERE HE IS.
HI! OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!
[GASPS] WELCOME.
UP WITH THE SIGN.
UP WITH THE SIGN.
CAN I JUST TELL YOU I AMSOEXCITED RIGHT NOW.
SO EXCITED!
SHE REALLY IS.
IF YOU COULD POINT ME TO THE BLACK PALACE NOW,
I REALLY GOTTA CHECK IN WITH MY DAD.
OH!
HA HA HA. HA HA HA.
OK. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR MOM?
MY MOM.
MY BROTHERS TELL ME THAT SHE WAS A MOUNTAIN GOAT,
WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN MY CHRONIC HALITOSIS.
A MOUNTAIN GOAT?
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
JENNA, CHAIR.
JENNA, CHAIR.
THANKS.
THANKS.
MY MOTHER WASN'T A GOAT?
TRY AN ANGEL.
AN ANGEL?
AN ANGEL?
I'M YOUR MOM.
I'M YOUR MOM.
IF YOU'RE MY MOM,
THEN HOW COME YOU'RE NOT OLDER?
ANGELS DON'T GET ANY OLDER, SON.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST CALLED HIM "SON."
[GASPS] THIS IS SO WILD!
[GIGGLING AND SCREAMING]
[GIGGLING AND SCREAMING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
JENNA, CHRISTA.
TIME FOR YOUR MAMBO LESSON.
CHUBBS, I'M SO SORRY. I TOTALLY SPACED.
I HAVE COMPANY. THIS IS MY SON NICKY.
HI.
HI.
CHUBBS USED TO BE A GOLF PRO,
BUT UP HERE HE'S JUST THE DOPEST DANCE INSTRUCTOR.
AH, THAT'S NICE.
YOU MAMBO?
I DON'T THINK SO.
IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS.
IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS.
BYE, CHUBBS.
ALL IN THE HIPS, YEAH!
NOBODY IN THIS ROOM WILL TELL YOU A THING, ADRIAN.
RIGHT!
OH, OH!
HEY, LET HIM GO!
HEY, LET HIM GO!
PERHAPS A TITTY-TWISTER WILL LOOSEN YOUR LIPS.
NO, NO.
AAAAH!
OOH, HEY, I'M GETTIN' TURNED ON.
OK, OK! ALL I KNOW...
YES?
THAT IF YOU SIT ON THAT THRONE
IN YOUR FATHER'S WEAKENED CONDITION-
TIT-HEAD, NO!
YOU CAN CLAIM THE SEAT OF POWER
FOR YOUR OWN. WHOA! AAAH!
FOR YOUR OWN. WHOA! AAAH!
REALLY?
AS THE FOUNDER OF HELL,
I COMMAND YOU TO STAY OFF THAT THRONE!
HEY!
EVEN IN HELL I GET NO RESPECT.
PUT ME DOWN. PUT ME DOWN!
NO!
NO!
OHH!
OHH!
KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE ??
NOW WHO'S THE LIGHT AND WHO IS THE DEVIL
YOU CAN'T DECIDE, SO I'LL BE YOUR GUIDE
I'M GONNA BE THE ONE THAT'S TAKIN' OVER
NOW THIS IS WHAT IT'S L IKE WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
UNTIL YOU'RE BACK HERE, BABY
[GIGGLING]
SO WHERE DID YOU MEET DAD?
OH, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO
AT THIS HEAVEN-HELL MIXER.
I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT.
YOU HAD, LIKE, 4 DAIQUIRIS.
AT FIRST I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE HIM.
HE WAS REALLY CONCEITED.
YEAH, BUT HE WAS FUNNY.
AND I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT HE HAD A REALLY HOT BODY.
[GIGGLING]
[DOG BARKING]
OH, PUPPY PHONE.
IT'S SO CUTE.
HELLO?
HI, MICHELLE.
YEAH, HE'S HERE RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S HOT. HE'S MY SON, YOU PERV.
CAN I CALL YOU BACK?
[BARK]
THAT WAS MY FRIEND MICHELLE.
SHE SAYS HI.
SAY HI BACK.
[BARK]
I'LL JUST CALL HER LATER.
YOU KNOW, NICKY,
WE TOTALLY SAW YOU SAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S LIFE.
THAT WASSOCOOL.
YEAH, THAT'S WHY YOU CAME TO HEAVEN INSTEAD OF HELL.
SELF-SACRIFICE AUTOMATICALLY GETS YOU HERE.
HOW DID YOU SEE ME?
WE CAN SEE ANYTHING THAT'S GOING ON ON EARTH. LOOK.
WE CAN SEE ANYTHING THAT'S GOING ON ON EARTH. LOOK.
SOMEONE ELSE IS TAKING THE INTERNSHIP.
OH, THAT'SFELICITY. I LOVE THAT SHOW.
DO YOU WATCH?
I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, BUT I HEAR GOOD THINGS.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO COLORADO.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO COLORADO.
THIS IS ANACTION NEWS SPECIAL REPORT.
MOMENTS AGO, A LARGE CHUNK OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE HELL
BEGAN TO RISE FROM BENEATH CENTRAL PARK.
FAR FROM BEING TERRIFIED,
MANY NEW YORKERS HAVE BEGUN FLOCKING TO THE SITE,
TURNING IT INTO AN UNOFFICIAL PARTY CENTRAL.
AND THIS JUST IN...
I'M CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND WITH THE WEATHERMAN.
I'M CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND WITH THE WEATHERMAN.
SHOW HIM CENTRAL PARK.
I LOVE YOUR LEGS.
I LOVE YOUR LEGS.
[CHEERING AND YELLING]
[CHEERING AND YELLING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
Adrian: YEAH!
HA HA HA HA!
Nicky: THAT'S MY FATHER'S THRONE!
IS DAD OK?
LET'S SEE.
I WAS A GOOD DEVIL, WASN'T I?
YOU WERE THE BEST DEVIL, SIR!
THE BEST DEVIL!
IF WE FALL IN THERE, WE WILL DIE. PERIOD.
MY UNDERWEAR IS SO FAR UP MY ASS I COULD TASTE IT.
I HEAR THAT.
[MOANING]
Adrian: WELCOME TO THE PARTY!
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING]
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU ALL HERE.
[GROANS]
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
YOU'VE TAKEN TO SIN WITH SUCH MINIMAL PROMPTING.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING]
YOU'RE ACTING AS IF THERE IS NO HEAVEN OR HELL.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING]
WELL, I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
WELL, I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY A HELL.
Everybody: WHAT?
AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO GO THERE WHEN YOU DIE.
WHICH IS IN ABOUT...
15 MINUTES.
HOLY SHIT, WE REALLY ARE GONNA DIE!
[SCREAMING AND YELLING]
[SCREAMING AND YELLING]
AAAH!
I'M REALLY BURNING NOW!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
I GOTTA HELP HER.
I GOTTA HELP DAD.
I GOTTA HELP EVERYBODY.
AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT,
MY FATHER WILL BE COMPLETELY DETERIORATED,
AND ALL YOUR SOULS WILL BE MINE.
SOON YOU WILL SEE THINGS
MORE HORRIBLE THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE
MORE HORRIBLE THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE
I-I-I-I-I ?
WELL, MAYBE NOT THAT HORRIBLE,
BUT STILL PRETTY BAD.
[MOANING]
SO, WHILE WE WAIT,
FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT,
I BRING YOU A DEAR, SWEET MAN-
MR. HENRY WINKLER.
[CROWD CHEERS]
GOOD EVENING.
COVERED IN BEES!
[BUZZING]
AAAAH!
EEW!
HOW CAN I WIN?
ADRIAN IS STRONGER AND SMARTER THAN ME.
STRONGER, YES.
SMARTER...DEFINITELY.
BUT YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE.
A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT?
NO!
THE INNER LIGHT, HONEY.
AND YOU CAN TOTALLY USE IT.
IT'S THE BEST POWER OF ALL.
I DO?
AND GOD TOLD ME
IF YOU GET IN REALLY BAD TROUBLE,
YOU CAN USE THIS.
WHAT IS IT?
OK, I'M NOT TOTALLY 100% ON THAT,
BUT GOD SAID WHEN THE TIME CAME,
YOU'D KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
GOD'S SO SMART.
LIKEJEOPARDY! SMART.
[SIGHS]
MMM.
MMM.
MY LITTLE BOY.
MOMMY...
GET ME TO THE BIG APPLE,
'CAUSE I'M GONNA ROCK THAT TOWN
LIKE A HURRICANE.
YOU'RE ALREADY THERE.
BYE, NICKY.
BYE, MOM.
BYE.
BYE, GUYS. BYE.
BYE, GUYS. BYE.
Demons: NICKY!
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
[YELLS ORDERS]
RELEASE THE GOOD.
RELEASE THE GOOD.
AHHH.
[DEMONS YELLING]
RELEASE THE GOOD.
RELEASE THE GOOD.
YES, THEY'RE FURRY.
Demons: BUNNY, BUNNY, BUNNY, BUNNY.
RELEASE THE AWESOME.
RELEASE THE AWESOME.
Nicky: WHAT YOU DO IS PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH
AND LET THE MEAT SLIDE DOWN YOUR THROAT HOLE.
AND LET THE MEAT SLIDE DOWN YOUR THROAT HOLE.
NOT YOU, NOT YOU!
NOT YOU, NOT YOU!
POPEYE'S CHICKEN IS THE SHIZZNEY!
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
HERE I AM
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
HERE I AM
[ADRIAN LAUGHING]
[ADRIAN LAUGHING]
YOU KNOW,
FROM THIS ANGLE, YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE.
YOU THINK SO?
YOU THINK SO?
OH, MY GOD.
HE JUST OPENED HIS MOUTH
AND SWALLOWED THAT SPIT.
OH, THAT TURN YOU ON THERE, RuPAUL? HEH HEH.
[JOHN AND PETE LAUGHING]
[SNIFFING]
[FLAPPING]
[FLAPPING]
[BLOWS]
Nicky: EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.
Nicky: EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.
LITTLE NICKY.
YEAH, NICKY! NICKY!
I KNEW YOU WOULD MAKE IT!
Nicky: ADRIAN...
I'M ASKING YOU NICELY.
LET MY FRIENDS ALONE,
AND GET IN THE FLASK.
IS THIS A JOKE?
NO, IT'S THE INNER LIGHT,
AND WITH IT, WE CAN DEFEAT WHATEVER YOU GOT.
IT'S TRUE!
IT'S TRUE!
AAH!
AAH!
IT'S NOT TRUE!
IT'S NOT TRUE!
[CLUCK CLUCK]
Adrian: RUN, TRAITORS, RUN!
OK, ADRIAN.
YOU'VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
YOU'VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
WHOA!
WHOA!
[CHEERING]
Adrian: AH, TH-TH-TH-TH.
Adrian: AH, TH-TH-TH-TH.
LEAVE THIS TO ME.
LEAVE THIS TO ME.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
OK.
OK.
Crowd: WHOA.
Crowd: WHOA.
[HISS]
[CROWD GROANS]
HA HA HA HA.
HA HA HA HA.
Crowd: OOOH.
Crowd: OOOH.
[MOWER BUZZES]
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
[COOS]
AW.
AW.
AAH HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA.
HA HA HA HA.
AAAH!
HEY.
HEY.
Crowd: AHH.
Crowd: AHH.
ENOUGH!
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS.
I'M READY FOR YOU.
I'M READY FOR YOU.
I GUESS I WASN'T READY.
I GUESS I WASN'T READY.
[VIBRATED YELLING]
[VIBRATED YELLING]
AAAH!
AAAH!
I TOTALLY HAD TO DO THAT.
YAY! HELL, YEAH, YOU DID.
GREAT JOB! THAT'S GREAT!
THANKS, MOM!
EE-YAH!
AAH!
AAH!
UNH!
NOW, I'M GONNA ASK YOU NICELY.
GET IN THE FLA-
OHH!
OH, YOU WANT A PILLOW FIGHT, DO YOU?
WELL, LET'S LET THE FEATHERS FLY.
WELL, LET'S LET THE FEATHERS FLY.
COME ON, NOW.
COME ON, NOW.
COME ON.
COME ON.
I'M RIGHT HERE.
WHERE AM I GOING WITH IT, BABY?
HERE I AM.
[MUTTERING]
[MUTTERING]
[GRUNTS]
I'M SLEEPING. [SNORING]
OR AM I?
OR AM I?
[CHEERING]
THANKS, MR. WINKLER.
NOW, I'M ASKING YOU ONE LAST TIME.
GET IN THE FLASK.
A LITTLE HELP HERE, PLEASE.
A LITTLE HELP HERE, PLEASE.
UNH, PLEASE!
DON'T DO THIS! NO!
DON'T DO THIS! NO!
[WHINING]
[WHINING]
GOOD-BYE, NICKY.
AHHH.
AHHH.
AAAH!
AAAH!
NO! WHOA!
OW!
Cassius: NICE TO SEE YOU, BROTHERS.
NOW I'M GONNA BUST BOTH OF YOUR HEADS WIDE OPEN!
Adrian: NO, NO!
[GRUNTING AND HITTING]
[ADRIAN GROANING]
[SMACKING AND GRUNTING]
COME ON!
GET 'EM, NICKY!
FIGHT 'EM, NICK!
YOU CAN DO IT, NICKY!
[GROANING]
KICK HIM IN HIS HAIRY BALLS!
Nicky: GOOD IDEA.
[GROANING]
[CHEERING]
Nicky: ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO, ADRIAN.
Adrian: YOU'VE ASKED FOR THIS.
TIME FOR THE SHOVEL!
Nicky: BRING IT ON!
[GRUNTING]
KILL HIM, ADRIAN!
SHUT UP!
GET HIM, NICKY!
Adrian: LET GO OF ME!
Adrian: LET GO OF ME!
[PRAYING]
[PRAYING]
Nicky: AAAH.
[GRUNTING]
Valerie: NICKY!
Valerie: NICKY!
YAY!
YAY!
[CHEERING]
OH, YEAH!
WOO-HOO!
NICKY!
NICKY!
HOW DID A NICE SOUTHERN BOY LIKE YOU
LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT?
I GUESS FROM MY FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY.
[GIGGLING]
[GIGGLING]
Crowd: AWW.
Crowd: AWW.
[RESISTING] MMMM!
UH-OH.
[ADRIAN'S VOICE] WHAT? NO TONGUE?
[VALERIE SCREAMS]
[VALERIE SCREAMS]
[SQUEAKING]
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!
Pete: THAT IS WICKED!
HA HA HA HA!
WHOO!
WHOO!
HA HA HA! NOT LONG NOW!
[CROWD GROANS]
[GASPS] WHOO.
YOU GOTTA FLY OUT.
SOON IT WILL ALL BE MINE!
NICKY! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
RUN, RUN!
DO IT FOR THE BUTTERFLIES.
Nicky: BUTTERFLIES?
Nicky: BUTTERFLIES?
OH, THE POWER OF GOOD LETS YOU FLY OUT.
WELL, YOU'RE TOO LATE, NICKY!
WELL, YOU'RE TOO LATE, NICKY!
BEHOLD YOUR NEW SATAN!
BEHOLD YOUR NEW SATAN!
WHAT--WHAT'S THAT? WHAT'S WITH THE BALL?
WHAT--WHAT'S THAT? WHAT'S WITH THE BALL?
HA HA HA HA HA!
OZZY?
HOLY SHIT.
HOLY SHIT.
NOT--NO, NO, NO, NO!
YOU CAN DO IT, OZZY!
BITE HIS FRICKIN' HEAD OFF!
NO!
NO!
SPIT HIM IN THE FLASK!
Valerie: HERE YOU GO, OZZY.
AAAH!
[CHEERING]
[CHEERING]
GRAND CENTRAL, NICKY!
Todd: START RUNNING.
NEVER MAKE IT. YOU'VE GOTTA DIE.
I'LL JUST GO TO HEAVEN.
NOT IF YOU DO SOMETHING BAD RIGHT BEFORE YOU DIE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
HEY, NICKY! COVER WINKLER IN BEES!
YOU CAN DO IT!
YOU CAN DO IT!
SORRY, HENRY.
AAAH!
[BUZZING]
OK, DO ME! WITH WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
HERE. KILL HIM WITH THIS.
HA HA HA!
I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, GUYS.
AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, MY FRIEND.
[SOBBING]
[SOBBING]
VALERIE?
[GRUNTS]
[WHISPERING] I love you.
And I love you, Nicky.
And I love you, Nicky.
I GOT THEM, DAD! I DID IT!
I DID IT, DADDY!
[MOANING]
[MOANING]
UNHOLINESS, YOU'RE BACK!
WOO-HOO! HA HA!
YOU LOOK GREAT!
IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS, HEY
IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS
HA HA HA!
Nicky: DAD! DAD!
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!
YOU CAME THROUGH, NICKY.
I CAME THROUGH FOR YOU, DAD,
AND I CAME THROUGH FOR MOM
AND THE BUTTERFLIES.
YOU'RE BACK IN HELL NOW, KID.
THERE ARE NO BUTTERFLIES HERE.
IF YOU WANT BUTTERFLIES, YOU NEED TO BE ON EARTH.
WHAT ABOUT YOU AND GRANDPA
AND EVERYBODY IN HELL?
NICKY...
I LET MY BUTTERFLIES DIE ONCE UPON A TIME,
AND IT'S NEVER STOPPED HURTING.
AND IT'S NEVER STOPPED HURTING.
THAT'S RIGHT!
YOU HEARD ME, HOLLY.
WHAT?
I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!
OH, MY GOD, HE'S TALKING ABOUT ME.
AND DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT HOWCRAZYYOU GET
AFTER A FEW DAIQUIRIS.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[SIGHS]
THAT GUY IS STILL THE BIGGEST HORNDOG.
YEAH, HE IS.
YEAH, HE IS.
LISTEN, I GOT DOWN LOW.
YOUR MOM'S GOT UP HIGH.
YOU TAKE CARE OF THE MIDDLE.
OK, DAD.
BUT...
IN THE WORDS OF MOTLEY CRUE,
THIS WILL ALWAYS BE MY HOME SWEET HOME.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR FACE.
YOU'RE SUCH A HANDSOME BOY.
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
I HATE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, UH, HA HA,
IT'S TIME FOR HITLER'S PUNISHMENT.
Lucifer: HO HO, I'LL TAKE THAT.
Adrian: MAYBE THEY'RE GONNA LET US OUT.
GRANDPA!
OK, KIDS.
ENJOY YOUR NEW HOME!
Cassius and Adrian: NO, NO, NO, NO!
[FARTS AND SCREAMS]
HOLY SHNIT! OHH!
HOLY SHNIT! OHH!
[GIGGLING]
[GIGGLING]
LIVIN' EASY
SUCH A LITTLE ANGEL.
SUCH A LITTLE ANGEL.
ONLY A QUARTER, MA'AM.
ONLY A QUARTER, MA'AM.
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE.
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE.
AAAH!
Nicky: SORRY.
TAKIN' EVERYTHING IN MY STRIDE
DON'T NEED REASON
DON'T NEED RHYME
AIN'T NOTHIN' I'D RATHER DO
GOIN' DOWN
PARTY TIME
MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA BE THERE, TOO
MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA BE THERE, TOO
I'M ON A HIGHWAY TO HEL L
ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
HIGHWAY TO HELL?
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
NO STOP SIGNS
SPEED LIMIT
NOBODY'S GONNA SLOW ME DOWN
LIKE A WHEEL
GONNA SPIN IT
NOBODY'S GONNA MESS ME 'ROUND
HEY, SATAN
PAID MY DUES
PLAYIN' IN A ROCKIN' BAND ?
HEY, MAMA
LOOK AT ME
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE PROMISED LAND
WHOA
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
HIGHWAY TO HELL?
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
HIGHWAY TO HELL?
MMM
MMM
HEY, HEY
HEY, HEY
WE FROM THE SCHOOL
THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK ?
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK ?
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCKS
WE FROM THE SCHOOL
THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS ?
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCK
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCK
GRADUATED 13, THE STREE TS MADE ME A SCHOLAR
IN FRONT OF THE MICROPHONE, ONE BY ONE, HEAR 'EM HOLLER
THE SURE SHOT THAT ROCKS
WHY, BLASTIN' BEATBOX ON MY SIDEWALK
BE HIP-HOPALONG CASSIDY
GRAPHIC CATASTROPHE, BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL
COULD WE EXCEL, ROCK HELL LIKE LL
MADE ME FEEL I WAS ILL, MUSIC EUPHORIA
WENT TO THE DOC, THE D. O. C. GAVE ME THE FORMULA
HEY, YOUNG WORLD, THE WORLD IS YOURS
TURN THE WHOLE WIDE WOR LD INTO METAPHORS
YOU KEPT THE STRENGTH WHEN TIMES GOT HARD
SO LET ME REMINISCE OVER YOU, MY GOD
SO LET ME REMINISCE OVER YOU, MY GOD
OLD SCHOOL
BRING IT BACK
WE FROM THE SCHOOL
THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS ?
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCKS
WE FROM THE SCHOOL
THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS ?
WHO'S READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
READY TO ROCK
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCKS
ROUNDIN' THOSE SUCKERS UP AROUND THE BLOCKS
SHH.
SHH.
YEAH, BRINGING YOU ANOT HER DISTURBING CREATION
FROM THE MIND OF ONE SICK ANIMAL
WHO CAN'T TELL THE DIFFEREN CE AND GETS STUPIFIED
WHO CAN'T TELL THE DIFFEREN CE AND GETS STUPIFIED
I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE
FOR JUST ONE FUCK
AND ALL I NEEDED WAS JUST ONE FUCK
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK
I FIND MYSELF STUPIFIED , COMING BACK AGAIN
ALL I WANTED WAS JUST ONE FUCK
ONE TINY, LITTLE, INNOCENT FUCK
AND WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'M SHIT OUT OF LUCK
I FIND MYSELF STUPIFIED , COMING BACK AGAIN
WHY DO YOU LIKE PLAYING AROUND WITH
MY NARROW SCOPE OF REALITY
I CAN FEEL IT ALL START SLIPPING
I THINK I'M BREAKING DOWN ?
WHY DO YOU LIKE PLAYING AROUND WITH
MY NARROW SCOPE OF REALITY
I CAN FEEL IT ALL START SLIPPING AWAY
SEE, BUT I DON'T GET IT
DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE WE COULD PUT IT ON CREDIT
DON'T YOU THINK IT CAN TAKE CONTROL
WHEN I DON'T LET IT ?
I GET STUPIFIED
IT'S ALL THE SAME YOU SAY LIVE WITH IT
BUT I DON'T GET IT
DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE WE COULD PUT IT ON CREDIT
DON'T YOU THINK IT CAN TAKE CONTROL
WHEN I DON'T LET IT ?
I GET STUPIFIED
I GET STUPIFIED ?
I GET STUPIFIED ?
AND DON'T DENY ME
NO, BABY, NOW
DON'T DENY ME
AND, DARLIN', DON'T BE AFRAID
AND, DARLIN', DON'T BE AFRAID
BUT I DON'T GET IT
DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE WE COULD PUT IT ON CREDIT
DON'T YOU THINK IT CAN TAKE CONTROL
WHEN I DON'T LET IT ?
I GET STUPIFIED
I GET STUPIFIED
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
LOOK IN MY FACE, STARE IN MY SOUL
LOOK IN MY FACE
LOOK IN MY FACE
LOOK IN MY FACE
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
I BEGIN TO STUPIFY
I'VE WATCHED YOU CHANGE
I'VE WATCHED YOU CHANGE
INTO A FLY
INTO A FLY
I LOOKED AWAY
I LOOKED AWAY
YOU WERE ON FIRE
YOU WERE ON FIRE
I WATCHED A CHANGE
IN YOU
IT'S LIKE YOU NEVER HAD WINGS
NOW YOU FEEL
SO ALIVE
I'VE WATCHED YOU CHANGE
I'VE WATCHED YOU CHANGE
IT'S LIKE YOU NEVER HAD WINGS
AH--AH--AH
AH--AH--AH
AH--AH--AH
AH--AH--AH
AH--AH--AH
AH--AH
AH--AH
I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO STAND
I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO STAND
WHEN THE WORMS ARE TALKING LOUD
WHEN THE WORMS ARE TALKING LOUD
SOBBING BULLS LAY DOWN AND SCREAM
SOBBING BULLS LAY DOWN AND SCREAM
DOESN'T MEAN I'M BREAKING MY VOWS
DOESN'T MEAN I'M BREAKING MY VOWS
OH, NO
ALWAYS IGNORED
ALWAYS IGNORED
THOUGHT AFTER ALL THAT I'D BE RICH
THOUGHT AFTER ALL THAT I'D BE RICH
I MUST SAY I'VE NEVER BEEN TO MEDITATE
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I WON'T NEED
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I WON'T NEED
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I HESITATE
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I HESITATE
WHAT FOR?
BEING BORED
OH, NO
ALWAYS IGNORED
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY Michal Prerovsky
CAPTIONED BY Michal Prerovsky Blazen_60618@yahoo. com
LA Confidential CD1
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Lets make love Marilyn Monroe 1960
Letter The
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Life Is Beautiful
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Light of my eyes
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