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Mafia

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Life's an enigma, a puzzle, a confusing|struggle between right and wrong...
good and evil, truth and deceit.
You could drive yourself crazy|trying to figure it out.
But I know one thing for sure:
You're just buying someone else's|headaches when you get a used car.
Stop that run! Stop that run!
Night and day
You are the one
Only you beneath the moon
Before I got myself blown up...
Anthony Cortino was one of the most|powerful men in Las Vegas.
I ran the Peppermill, the flashiest,|most profitable casino in Nevada.
Hey, Barry.|Keep the car.
I drove the hottest cars,|hung out with the biggest stars...
dated the sexiest babes.
- Watch your head.|- I was set.
Night and day|Why is it so
I had created paradise on Earth...
and all because I ate, slept|and breathed gambling.
Hi.
- Loser. Seven out.|- Stack 'em right.
I was a gambler's gambler--|a guaranteed winner.
- That's just the way it was.|- Go fish.
The Peppermill meant cash. The money was|comin' in so fast we couldn't count it.
Watch these guys.|I think they're stealin' towels.
- And it all went right|to the family, tax-free.|- Back to yellow. You lose.
The high rollers, the slot junkies,|the vacationers from the Midwest...
all came certain they could win...
- that this was their shot at a miracle.|- Place your bets.
It's all been arranged just for us|to get your money.
Let me see. Uh, two.
That's the truth about Las Vegas:
I'm sorry.|I was thinking of three.
The Mafia is a high-overhead machine,|and somebody's gotta pick up the tab.
- House wins.|Place your bets and guess again.|- Three.
To the bosses, I was a cash register.
All they had to do was to ring the bell|and take the money.
One, two, three, four.
- Back down the chute.|- Whoa!
Fixed fights, doped horses,|locked-in point spreads.
- I had the cake pouring in.|- Come on, baby!
But nothing brought it in faster|and in bigger bundles than the casino.
- I'll get these. You get those.|- I'll get those! You got those?
- Yeah. You get these over here.|- All right, I got these.|- Whose are those?
This was the end result of all|of the bright lights and glitter.
- Booze, broads and free hotel suites|for the high roller...|- Put your backs to it, men.
cheap drinks and all-you-can-eat buffets|for the everyday sucker.
The smart ones just send us the money|and save on plane fare.
I think of you
Day and night
I said, night and day
Under the hide of me
- All right, move' em out. Let's go.|- There's, oh, such a hungry yearnin'
It's burnin' inside
If we had our own printing press|we couldn't have done any better.
I made the Mafia happy, and the bosses|knew just how to spread the influence.
But life is an enigma.|I never planned for any of this.
And I'll lay you eight-to-five|when he was a kid back in Sicily...
my father, Vincenzo Cortino...
never thought his life would turn out|the way it did either.
Vincenzo!
Oops.
Wow! The colours!|Great shit!
The categories are:|the Chinese Theatre,
Female Firsts...
Documents, please.
The white zone|is for white people only.
That's right, one at a time.|Papers, please.
- Move along, sir.|- But we had reservations.
Next. Name?
- That's right, ma'am, your name.|- Sir, over here.
What's your name, boy?
- Step up, please.|- You next.
- Armani Windbreaker.|- Cortino.
Fine. Read this.|Stand over there.
- Next.|- Clamato!
Dominick Clamato!
I'm lookin' for Dominick Clamato!
- Sweat shop. Cheap wages.|- Clamato!
I'm lookin' for Dominick Clamato!
- Don't say nothin'.|- Dominick Clamato!
Gun.
- Where is your family?|- Family? No.
- Alone.|- That is so sad.
But when I close my eyes tight|I can picture them here.
When you squeeze your eyes closed,|do you see lots of things, eh...
- Rectangles?|- No.
All I ever see|are those long, floaty things.
Ah. Eye worms.
In Sicily the peasants|used to get them...
by eating raw pork|and then rubbing their eyes.
Once the worms|get inside your eyeball...
it's just a matter of days before|they eat their way into your brain.
Then you shit yourself|and die in a most embarrassing way.
Rosa was not very attractive|by ltalian standards.
- Rosa, come.|- Hardly any body hair.
Come on.
Next.
Thanks for carryin' my luggage, pal.|I'll take my gun.
Don't be a fool.|Cops don't help our kind.
In this country,|we gotta look out for ourselves.
-No!|-Give me your money. Give me your money!
- Use the gun.|- No.
I will use my brain.|It is as big as any bullet.
- You won't look so pretty|without a nose.|- Why don't you pick a nose
Look at you.|You're just a boy.
Think you can stop me?|How?
- I'll outsmart you.|- Oh, yeah?
Then answer me this:|A rooster sits on the peak of a roof.
It lays an egg.|Which side will the egg roll down?
The left--|No, the right.
- I don't know.|- Neither, my friend.
Roosters don't lay eggs.
This was no ordinary kid.
I had a feeling|we'd be seeing a lot of each other.
Stay in school.
Thank you.|I don't even know your name.
Uh, Vincenzo. Vincenzo|Armani Windbreaker Cortino. You?
I'm Rosa Versace Blue Blazer|And Matching Skirt Pantuzzi.
- Are you from Sicily too?|- No. Milano.
My father was in the military.|A lancer.
- Bengal Lancer?|- No, a boil lancer. One of the best.
But then one day|there were no more boils.
He turned to drink.|We lost him at a Grateful Dead concert.
Look! A falling star!
They say that if two people meeting|for the first time see a falling star...
their wish will come true.
Make a wish, Vincenzo.
I believe in America.
I raised my daughter|in American fashion.
One day she went to see a man.
He got her alone in a room.
Held her down in a chair.
When she resisted,|he stuck her with a needle.
Then, when she was helpless...
he took pliers and...
Look at her, Don Cortino.|Look.
I'm familiar with this Dr Mendelbaum.|He's not a dentist, he's a butcher.
Put caps on the Turteltaub twins.
I saw them.|They looked like beavers.
In fact, I have|a cord of wood they cut.
I'm all set for the winter.
Whoopsy-daisy!
Ah. I found my keys.
I must own a car.
A beautiful girl, Don Cortino.
A daughter who has brought only|happiness into our home for 17 years.
Horrible.|Can't really blame the boy.
Die, you bastard.
What is it you request?
Uh, that's my bad ear.
No, I was wrong.|This must be the bad ear.
Don Cortino, I want justice|for my Angelina.
All right, Bonifacio, all right.
I will do this thing for you.
Thank you, Godfather.
Thank you.
Diane was my first love.|We were made for each other.
About the only disagreement we ever had|was when I went to war.
While I was off fighting, she was|working for the world peace movement.
But despite all that, when I got home|she was there to greet me.
I guess she was a sucker|for a guy in uniform.
Oh, Anthony, I'm so nervous|about meeting your family.
- If they don't like me, I'll just die.|- Hey! Tony!
Big war hero.
- I got you a souvenir.|- No.
Oh, wow. A North Korean.
Tony-- I mean, I do--|I don't know what to say.
I want you to meet Diane.|Diane, this is Dominick Clamato,|my father's most trusted friend.
- Hi.|- Bella.
Lugosi.
Hey, you guys,|look at what Tony brung me.
I'll bet you never seen|one of these before.
Anthony, isn't that Cesar Marzoni? The|man's a criminal. What's he doing here?
Maybe he does business|with my father.
What are you saying?
Look, I'm not my father, Diane,|just as you're not your father.
If we were our fathers, what we did last|night would only be legal in Arkansas.
Hmm.
Some champagne, sir?
It was like I never left.
- These were the faces I grew up with.|- Good to see you, Anthony.
It wasn't just me and Joey and Pop.
- It was Frankie Totino,|- Look who's here.
Hey, Anthony, welcome back.
- "Fatso" Paulie Orsatti,|- Try the veal picatta.
who was Benny "Big Features"' brother--|he controlled the unions.
- Then you had Nick Molinaro,|who ran the North Side;|- Hey! How ya doin'?
Jumbo|"The King of Big Screen TV" DeNuzio.
Yo, Tony, I'll knock 20 percent|off that Trinitron for you.
- There was AI "The Mailbox" Faducci,|- Miller Lite.
- Johnny Love...|- Who's the pretty girl?
and Charlie "Big Red-Ass Baboon|On His Head" Petrella.
Catch you later.
The Don'll see you now, Mr Gorgoni.
- Pop, this is Sal Gorgoni.|- Don Cortino.
It is a honour to be in the presence|of such a great man.
Your flattery brings a redness|to my hair.
Cigar?
Very fresh.
Uh, thank you, no.
Please, sit down.
Now, what is so urgent|that you've come to see Don Corduroy...
on the third anniversary|of my stepson's liposuction?
It is a known fact|that you have the judges in your pocket.
The politicians, they dance like--
Iike puppets for you.
You control the courts.
If you agree|to share your influence...
I will make you a partner|in my new business.
Suck my big ltalian sausage,|you magootza.
You make us partner?
You'll have to excuse my son.
Now, what sort of business|are we talking about?
I can make us bigger|than the Almighty Himself.
Shut your slimy guinea pazatz!|Nobody's bigger than Sinatra!
Joey's a good boy,|but there's always been something|about his personality that, uh--
How shall I put it?|He's fuckin' nuts.
This was brought in at great expense|from our friends in America Del Sur.
Ah! Nondairy creamer.|Good investment.
Drugs, Don Cortino.
I thank you for your offer, Mr Gorgoni,|but, well, answer me this:
Where is the future of this business?
Drugs don't taste good.|You can't put them on cereal.
Why would anyone want to invest|in something like that?
I hope you don't live|to regret this decision, Don Cortino.
Now, if we're finished, I'd like to get|back to my stepdaughter's coronation.
Godfather.
- Congratulations.|- Oh.
Hey, Pop.
Hey. I missed you, son.
- I missed you too, Pop.|- How was the war? Did you have fun?
I want you to meet Diane.
- Hi.|- Oh.
Tastes like chicken.
- Tony!|- Hey!
My big brother got married, huh?|Who is she?
Ah, some ltalian girl.|Who's this?
Oh, this is Diane.|We went to Vassar together.
Hi, Joey.|Anthony's told me so much about you.
Psychopath, right?
- Yeah.|- Hey!
- Oh, he seems so nice, honey.|- Get back here.|I'll shoot you in the face!
Easy, Joey.|Easy. Easy. Easy.
Guido.|Say hello to Guido.
Hey, scunge,|say hello to my present.
- How ya doin'?|- That's somethin', huh?
Don Cortino,|Don Marzoni from Las Vegas.
Don Cortino. You honour me|by inviting me to your home.
I've heard great things about|what you're doing in Las Vegas.
You know, you look familiar.
Uh, this is a friend of mine,|Pepper Giannini.
Mmm. Giannini.|Any Sicilian in you?
Not since last night.
Marriage.|The bond that binds us together.
Myself, I've been married to|the same wonderful woman for 42 years.
Of course, sex stopped for us|about a week after the wedding...
as it should.
I love my Rosa as much today as I did|the first time I forced myself on her.
But, uh, how 'bout this one here?
Breasts like cabbages.
And how about that ass?|You could play canasta on it.
So, Joey...
remember this old Sicilian proverb:
"Man is like a piece of cheese."
Hear, hear!
- Piece of cheese?|- Piece of cheese.
Say hello to my little friend.
- What the hell's that?|- That's the jitterbug, guys.|Come on. Jitterbug.
Keep up, keep up.
Wow!
What's he doin' now?
No!
After the attack on Pop, Joey was on|a rampage. He was ready to go to war.
So we brought in some strong-arm goons|from out of town.
Pop was in and out of consciousness...
and when he was awake|he seemed to have lost his will to live.
No doctors? No nurses? There's--|There's no one here to help him.
- Diane, he belongs to an HMO.|- Oh.
- Is he okay?|- Pop. My God. Pop!
I had a dog dream.
Anthony, I always knew|I could count on you.
Well, we've been here every day.
Really? So have l.
Come close.
Uh, Diane, could you excuse us|for a minute?
Oh, sure. If you need me,|I'll be up on the bidet.
- How bad is it? The truth.|- You're gonna be okay.
- You lost a lot of blood,|but we found most of it.|- Yeah.
This just arrived.
Oh, a carp. How thoughtful.|Fish sticks for everybody.
No, Pop, it's a message.|"Oyster Jimmy sleeps with the fishes."
Well, I hope he's using protection.|Good-looking fella like that could have|any woman he wanted.
Present company included.
Pop, somebody's out to get us|and we don't know who.
Can you think of anybody, Pop?|Anybody?
Well, there is a man.|He has only one thumb.
It matches this.
We used to just steal things,|kill and dismember people.
Now it's all drugs.|Oh, where is the honour?
Why go on?
I brought somebody|to cheer you up, Pop.
Mama?
Mama.
Look what they did to my boy.
Oh, my sweet Vincenzo.
I kept your ring for you, Mama.|Here.
Let me.
It's stuck.|I can't get it off.
- You. Whose kid are you? Huh?|- Here you go, Paulie.
Gino, don't eat so fast.|God'll give you a tumour.
Hey, Ma, lay off the kid.|Slow down. You gotta digest.
Gorgoni wouldn't try to kill Pop|just 'cause he insulted him.|There's gotta be more to it than that.
It had to be Gorgoni.|I say we whack him.
- Don't talk business at the table.|- This shirt is stranglin' me.
- I told you I'd take it back.|- It makes me nuts, the way you shop.
Ooh! ltalian food.
What, you think Gorgoni|wants to take over the family? Come on!
- He ain't got the cogliones for that.|- Maybe somebody bigger|ordered the hit, Joey.
I told you, not at the table.|You wanna bring a pox?
Gorgoni will not stop until Pop is dead.|We gotta have a war.
Kill every one of those|rat-lickin' basserinos.
Tie his steaming intestines to a runaway|horse and yank 'em out his ass!
- Who wants tea?|- Don't reach.
- Hey!|- Don't say "Hey!" to your grandma.|Show some respect.
I'm gonna get some tea.|Sure nobody want none?
I tell ya how I'm gonna settle our|differences. I'm gonna shoot the guy|right in the lombardos.
Goddam it, I said|not in front of the kids.
Just once I'd like to see ya buy|somethin' without havin' to exchange it.
Twenty-four years I'm married.
I coulda shot her and been out on parole|14 years.
I'll do it. I'll kill Gorgoni.
You? College boy?
It's just business.
We'll set up a meeting someplace public,|like a roller rink or a boutique.
I'll kill Gorgoni myself.
- Diane.|- Cut off her feet and make soup.
Diane.
Anthony, do you remember when we were|in college, before you were drafted?
We said that we were gonna dedicate|our lives to, to ending war...
to bringing peace to the world.
- What happened to that?|- World peace?
Don't be so naive, Diane.
Besides, I can't turn my back on Pop|and Joey. They're like family to me.
Anthony, they're criminals.|They're murderers.
Criminals are people too, Diane.
If you prick a murderer, does he not|leave a blood trail all the way back|to his Rockingham estate?
This is that whole Sicilian thing,|isn't it?
I'll never belong, Anthony.
I'm always just gonna be that Protestant|chick who never killed anyone.
All right,|let's go over it again.
Now, you kill him after the main course.|Salad's too soon.
And then somethin' light for dessert.|Maybe a sorbet or some kiwi.
Frankie'll stash the pistol|in the bathroom for ya.
He'll put the gun in the stall|behind the flush tank.
Hey, don't worry, Anthony.|You'll do okay.
Anthony. Benvenuto.
- He's gonna frisk you.|- Turn your head.
Cough.
He's clean.
- And April fresh.|- Sit.
I'm gonna speak ltalian to Anthony.
"Lyle Menendez"?|Come on.
Come on!
EI Nino.
Okay.
Oh!
Lou Ferrigno?
So, Anthony...
Can we do business?
Anthony?
I can hear the ocean.
My life had come to this.
The little crippled kid|they used to call "Tiny Anthony"...
who had sold flowers|on the street corner...
had grown up to be a killer.
When he was my age,|things were different for Pop.
By the time of the Great Depression,|my father, Vincenzo Cortino...
was a law-abiding citizen|struggling through the ranks|of the Manhattan olive oil business.
Vincenzo Cortino!|Hey, Vincenzo.
- Hey, Clamato, how are you?|- Look at you. You work too hard.
Come to the duck fights|with me tonight.
- The kid is undefeated.|- Eh, no, Dominick, thank you.
I have a family. I'm married.|I'm not supposed to enjoy myself.
Besides, where'd you get enough money|to buy your own duck, hmm?
When are you gonna wise up, Vincenzo?
Someday I'm gonna own|an entire goose...
and you'll still have|the stink of olives on you.
- Who is he?|- Don Narducci, the Black Hand.
For a price,|he protects the people.
Stay away from him, or your life won't|be worth the paper it's printed on.
Yeah.
- That's a good week's work, Vincenzo.|- Papa! Papa!
Papa, Papa, good news!|I sold the other daisy to Signor Biggio.
Ah, Tiny Anthony.|Come. Come.
Ah, you are such a good boy.|You know that?
- It's Joey's birthday, Papa.|- Yes, yes, I know.
We will try to find him something nice|on the way home.
Well, I guess|you'll be needing your pay.
I give you the big half.
Grazie, Mr Rizzo. Grazie.
- You are too good to me, huh?|- It's nothing.
- Come. Let's go home.|- You do well. Right, Tiny Anthony?
- I'll see you tomorrow, Signor Rizzo.|- Si.
Goodbye, Mr Rizzo.
God bless us, every one!
Mama, we're home!
- Papa.|- Joey.
- I sold another flower, Mama.|- That's wonderful.
Come. Sit. Dinner is ready.|Sit, sit. I've been cooking all day.
I had to sell the hook.
Ah.
I saw a man today, Rosa,|who sucks his own people dry.
Mmm. Like in those movies|you made me watch.
- No. I mean, in a bad way.|- Oh.
What did you bring me|for my birthday, Papa?
What did I bring you?|This.
Happy birthday, Joey.
- Mmm, boot! It smells delicious, Rosa.|- Mmm.
- Who wants an end cut?|- Can I have the tongue?
Open your present, Joey.
- Pop, it's a rat.|- No.
- It's a puppy.|- But it looks like a rat.
Don't argue with your father.|God'll pluck your eyes out.
It's a puppy.
- Must have cost you a fortune.|- Yes. But look how happy the boy is.
Someday, will I be able to run and play|like all the other children?
Yes, my son. Yes.
And I promise you,|there will come a day...
where your legs will be as strong|as any ox...
and this--|this battered old crutch...
will be nothing but a memory.
So, the Cortino's are celebrating.
I want my cut of the money|you've been making, Cortino.
Please, Don Narducci.|We have nothing.
- Papa! Papa!|- What is it, Joey?
We have the money in the green can we've|been saving for Anthony's operation.
I'm not a greedy man.|I just want to wet my beak.
- Please, no!|- Rosa.
Next time you'd better have more...
or I'll take something|truly precious from you.
God bless us, every one!
Danke schoen|Darlin', danke schoen
After I whacked Gorgoni,|I had to disappear.
When a guy on the run wants to hide,|there's no place like Las Vegas.
It's a city with no memory,|a town full of strangers.
I recall Central Park in fall
How you tore your dress|What a mess
They say you can't hit a moving target,|so I kept moving.
Danke schoen|Darlin', danke schoen
Right now, watch,|ladies and gentlemen...
as I transform my lovely assistant|Louise into a Bengal tiger.
Pop never groomed me for a life|like this. He had other plans.
I was supposed to be Senator Cortino|or Governor Cortino.
Louise! Tiger!
Louise!|What a pair of legs on her, huh?
After a while the long hours, the|pressure to perform, the catty reviews--
it started to wear me down.
Then one day out of the blue,|I get a message from Don Marzoni.
The memory stays for always
- My heart says|- This guy owns Vegas.
Danke schoen|Oh, darlin', danke schoen
I don't know if I could run your casino|even if I wanted to.
You might think of this job|as kind of an insurance policy.
I know that, but I killed a guy.|I mean, I'm on the lam.|Nobody's gonna give me a casino licence.
You don't have to have a licence|to work a casino.
You just apply to the gaming commission.
This commission's the same guys|that run Major League Baseball.|Now, think about it.
You think they're gonna turn you down|just for killing a guy? Nah.
Who could resist?
- Anywhere else in the country,|I'd be just another murderer.|- Place your bets! Place your bets!
- The best things in life are free|- New shooter comin' in!
- But here I was a murderer|who ran a casino.|- Big time! Let's go! Big time!
- Big time!|- Suddenly I fit right in.|- New shooter!
Craps! Loser!
Marzoni brought out my brother Joey|to handle security, and we went to work.
Oh, look who's here.|It's Joey.
- Money don't get everything, it's true|- Oh, my God!
- But what it don't get I can't use|- I'm sorry. You lose.
Nope, I'm sorry.|Thank you for playing.
The way I figured it,|the best way to stay alive|was to make money for the family.
We love it.|Thank you for playing.
So I made money, enough to make|a Wall Street investment banker drool.
- Place your bets. Place your bets.|- All I thought about was the casino.
- Fifty-two pick-up.|- No distractions, no time for myself.
- Until...|- Yeah! Come on, baby! Yeah!
Yeah! All right, baby! Yeah!
Sittin' here|Eatin' my heart out, waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call
- Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby|this evenin'|- Hot stuff, baby
- I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight|- Hot stuff, baby
- I need some hot stuff, baby|this evenin'|- Hot stuff
Got to have some hot stuff
Got to have your love tonight
- Ohh! Oooh!|- Yeah!
- I need hot stuff|- Yeah! Yes!
Hot stuff
She had everything a man could want--
beauty, brains...
and class.
Yeah, yeah! Yeah!
- Lookin' for a lover|who needs another|- Come here, baby!
Don't want another night on my own
What a dismount.|I fell in love right there.
Wanna bring a wild man back home
- Where'd you learn to dance like that?|- Juilliard.
I wanted to be a research chemist,|but my legs were too long.
You know, there's something|very familiar about you.
We met at your father's|attempted murder.
Oh, that's right.|You're Pepper Giannini, right?
- You were with Don Marzoni.|- He's such a sweetheart.
He helped me out once|when I was down on my luck.
- Financial trouble?|- No. Mai Luck, the Chinese ambassador.
Oh, hi!
So, the Peppermill.|Marzoni named it after you, huh?
Sure did.|I'm the apple of his eye.
I'll bet you're|rotten to the core.
Yeah. And I'm delicious.
Diane was becoming|a distant memory--
very distant.
I had a feeling|she was a wildcat...
but I knew I was just the man|who could tame her.
Ow!
Anthony? Anthony?
Huh?
Oh!
Wow! Oh!
Oh, yes! Anthony!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh, Anthony!
Wheee!
Wow. You got game.
All bets are down.|The lady's comin' out.
- Yea!|- This lady's a winner.
Pepper started taking up|a lot of my time...
but I tried to stay|focused on the casino.
Box cars. Come on. Yea!
Joey wasn't much help.
- You're winnin' my money?|- Yeah!
Looking back,|I was so blinded by love...
I didn't see the big problem|right in front of me.
Looking for love
If it was white and if it was powder,|Joey was into it.
It was my job to keep|an eye on the gamblers...
but my eyes were|only on Pepper.
- Fourteen, sixteen, bust.|- When I stopped paying attention|so did everyone else...
- House pays.|- and the suckers|started beating the house.
Then the cheaters got wind|and started flocking to us.
They cruise from casino to casino|looking for weak dealers|the way lions look for weak antelope.
Queen.
I could see the dealer|wasn't in on it...
but he was lifting his|hole card way too high.
Yeah.
We had a surefire way|of handling things like that.
Now here's this guy reading|the hole card and signalling his buddy.
- Bet the farm!|- Let me tell you now
I've never felt|like this before
Something's got a hold on me|that won't let go
Believe I'd die if I only could
I feel so strange|but it sure is good
- I said oh|- Oh
- Oh|- Oh|- Oh
- Oh|- Oh|- Oh
Hey, hey, hey, yeah|Oh, it must be love
- You know it must be love|- Yeah, yeah, yeah, now
My heart feels heavy|My feet feel light
And I feel all right
- I never felt like this before|- Lord!
Something's got a hold on me|that won't let go
- Mommy!|- Oh! Oh!|- I never thought it would be this way
- Joey was always a hothead,|but I could rely on him.|- Who?
- No, no, no!|- Oh|- Oh
- Now with the drugs,|he was out of control,|and the place was falling apart.
Then the take dropped off,|and that's the worst thing|that can happen at a casino.
I did what I could|to turn things around--
we recycled the food,|fired the dishwashers...
started a happy hour for seniors|and the mentally ill.
We even watered down|the drinks...
but that meant|we had to skimp in other places.
Happy birthday to you
- Then things really took a turn|when Pop came to visit.|- Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, Don Cortino
Happy birthday to you
- Congratulations!|- Happy birthday!
Ah, the cake.|Beautiful, Bonifacio. Beautiful.
I want to thank you all|for coming today.
I know that, uh, many of you|have put off important murders|and drug deals to be here.
I'm especially pleased|to have representatives|from the five families with us--
the Badalotos, the Romanis...
the Marzonis,|the Jeffersons--
who moved on up from the East Side|to get themselves a piece of the pie.
My friends, a while ago|I was shot 47 times.
And it really got me thinking:|It's time to pass on my power.
And I want you all to know that at the|time of my death, l, Don Cortizone...
will turn over all that I control|to my son, Anthony.
- Congratulations!|- Congratulations!
- Good boy, Anthony.|- Just great!
Anthony.
Joey, you get Wisconsin.
Ah, devil's food.
Enjoy!
Enjoy.
- Pastiori!|- Quick-pick loser!
Wisconsin--|big, fat German women.
It ain't right.
If you ask me,|your being passed over's an insult.
I'm smart.|I can handle anything.
- I been groomin' myself|my whole life to be Don.|- Maybe I can help.
It's none of your business,|all right?
Don't ever try to come|between me and my family.
Ooh. Anger.
Maybe I've been barking|up the wrong Cortino.
That a girl.|Come get the bone.
You wanna go to the park?|All right, now roll over.
There you go. Speak!
- Oh, my God. How could you?|- What are ya talkin' about?
A total stranger I could understand.|You and another woman, maybe.
Me, you and another woman, definitely.|But Joey, my brother!
Tony, i-it's not|what it looks like.
It's the Heimlich.|She swallowed a big chunk of meat.
- You're banging your brains out.|- You're just guessing!
What do you take me for,|some kind of an idiot?
Tony, ti amo.|The air conditioning broke.
We had to cool down.
- How can you deny this?|- You can't prove anything.
- You're a slut.|You will sleep with anybody.|- That's what sluts do.
If I was particular,|I wouldn't be a slut.
Joey, you're the last person|in the world I'd expect this from.
- We're family.|I would never betray you.|- Don't lie to me!
- You guys are sleeping together!|- All right, all right!|But we never actually slept!
Oh, my G-- That's my brother!|Don't you ever go near him again!
You don't own me, Anthony.
- That's why we don't have|nice things, Pepper.|- Get out! Get out of my life!
- Tony, i-it's not what it looks like.|- Psychopath, right?
I can't turn my back on Pop and Joey.|They're like family to me.
- This is that whole|Sicilian thing, isn't it?|- I would never betray you.
- I always knew I could count on you.|- They're criminals. They're murderers.
- Criminals are people too, Diane.|- Get out of my life!
I did not have sexual relations|with that woman--
Miss Lewinsky--|but I am wearing her underwear.
It's done.
Chuckie?
Watch this.
Boogey, boogey, boogey!
Boogey, boogey, boogey!
That stinks, Chuckie.
I started this.
Grandpa? Grandpa?
Rolex!
Everybody dies,|but in the Mafia...
people die more often,|and never by accident.
The death of my father sent|shock waves through the underworld.
The family was without a leader.
The news reached me at a private|hospital that catered exclusively|to English patients.
One, two, three--
My explosion, his death--|someone wanted the Cortino empire.
We're here today to lay to rest|the dearly departed soul...
of Don Vincenzo|Armani Windbreaker Cortino.
The Lord is my shepherd.|I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down|in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside|the still waters.
Yea, though I walk through|the valley of the shadow of death...
I shall fear no evil.
The rod--|Thy rod and Thy staff--
- It's okay, Mama. I'm here now.|- They-- They will comfort me--
I'll preparest a table--|a table--
- I know.|- There's a table--|- I know. I'm glad to see you too.
My table is prepared.
- Everyone had something to gain|with Pop out of the way.|- Surely--
- I couldn't trust anybody.|- Surely and-and-and Laverne.
- Which one of them killed my father?|- There was kindness--
- Don Romani from the Chicago family?|- From the days--|All the days of my life--
- Don Badaloto from the Cleveland mob?|- Uh, and I will dwell in my house.
-Don Quixote?|-And I will dwell in your house-- house.
- Don Cornelius?|- Love, peace and soul.
Dwell in the Lord's house--
But it wasn't until I saw Chuckie,|my brother Joey's kid...
taking a pay-off from the man|with the missing thumb...
that I realized our family's enemy|had been Don Marzoni all along.
- I had been embraced by the very man|whose lifelong vendetta had been|to kill my father.
And now, with my own nephew,|he had succeeded.
In the quicksand of organized crime,|the only option is retribution.
My cup runneth--
I wondered how Pop|would have handled all of this.
- Then I thought back to the most|important day of my childhood.|- Daisies, daisies!
Five dozen for a nickel!
Daisies, daisies!|Five dozen for a nickel!
Hi, Tiny Anthony.|How's my favourite florist?
Oh, hi, Jenny.|This is for you.
Thank you.
Ah, the Cortino boy. You know,|your papa never paid me what he owes.
You've done well.|This belongs to me.
Of course, Don Narducci.|And so does this!
- Miracle Gro!|- You okay, boss? You okay?
- Hey, kid!|- Come on. Let's go after him.|- Get him!
Run, florist, run!
Get back here, kid!
Ooh! Pitchfork!|Look out!
Papa! Papa!
Tiny Anthony, my boy!
It's a miracle!
Stay.
You surprise me, Don Narducci.|They say violence is|the hand puppet of the ignorant.
- Don't call me ignorant.|- No? Then answer me this:
Train "A" Ieaves Seattle|at 40 miles per hour.
Train "B" Ieaves Houston|at 50 miles per hour.
Which train|arrives at Sea World first?
- Papa! Papa!|- And carry the six.|- What is it, Joey?
This is 1938. There won't be|Sea World for another 30 years.
You tried to trick me.|Now I kill you all.
He's mine!
Don Cortino!
Godfather.
Papa taught me|the virtue of vengeance.
Now was time to take control|of the family business.
But first I had to put my life back|on track, and that meant finding Diane.
And although it seemed an|impossible dream just a few years ago...
the feeling here today fluctuates|between anxious anticipation...
and outright exhilaration|as political and spiritual leaders...
from every country on Earth|have convened at this historic site...
to witness the final signature|on the document...
that will secure and guarantee|world peace in perpetuity.
The "Peace For All Time" treaty--|or P-FAT...
as it has been dubbed|by its author and champion,|the President of the United States--
marks the culmination of one|valiant person's heroic crusade...
to end strife,|no matter where it may occur.
The presidential limousine|is arriving.
The president is emerging|and striding triumphantly forward.
One can only imagine the thoughts|that must be racing through her mind...
as the world's attention focuses on|this unprecedented achievement.
Mrs President.
With the addition|of my signature today...
P-FAT becomes a reality.
It is my most fervent hope|that this be...
the moment when|all mankind comes together--
when at last the world's population|can rise as one, and say--
Anthony?
- Oh, my God!|- Step back.
- Stand closely. Take the left.|- I got it.
- Anthony.|- It's good to see you, Diane.
- What happened to your face?|- Car exploded.
- What are you doing here, Anthony?|- I've taken over the family business.|I need you.
I care about you.|I came here because I want you|to marry me and come home with me.
Madam President, the treaty.
Madam President?
But what about P-FAT, Anthony?
I'm so near to fulfilling the dream|that-- that we once shared.
There's someone|I want you to meet.
This is my very good friend,|President Steen.
- Would you like to say hi to her?|- Hi, President Steen.
Hello. You're a daddy.
I'm a daddy.
- So, what's your name?|- Diane.
- Like me!|- I named him after his mother.
I'm a mother?
- Why didn't you tell me?|- You said you didn't want|to be a part of my life.
Oh!
Anthony, he's the most beautiful thing|I've ever seen!
He looks just like me!
You smell good.
I had cantaloupe for lunch.
- You like football, huh?|- Uh-huh.
Ever since Michael lrvin|laid off the nose candy.
Do you want to play?
- I'd love to.|- Are you my real mommy?
Uh-huh.
Go long, Mommy.
Yeah, I understand, but--
I-l don't know|if I can make it there.
You sure?
You're out of the wedding, Joey.
- It's a local call.|- You gotta answer for Pop.
What the hell you talkin' about?|I had nothin' to do with that.
You fingered him. Just like you|set me up that day in Vegas--
that little sexual fromage-a-trois|you played with Pepper.
You think you can fool|another Cortino?
You bastarducci!
Sit down.
Get him a drink.
Tony, don't do this|to me, please.
You think I'd kill my own brother|just 'cause he tried to kill me?
Today's the day I settle|all family business.
- I'm putting you on a plane to Fargo.|- These are over the wing!
Now, tell me everything|that happened that night.
And don't lie to me,|because it insults my intelligence.
Pepper got me|together with Marzoni.
He said if I helped him out,|he'd make it worth my while.
- He said he'd make me|head of the family.|- You know I'd always take care of you.
You're my kid brother! You take care|of me? I'm the oldest, Tony,|and I was stepped over!
- That was Pop's idea.|- Well, it wasn't my idea.|- You're a psychotic lunatic!
And I deserve respect for that!
You broke my heart, Joey.
I don't ever want|to see you again.
That's, uh, $3.50.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here|in the sight of God...
to join this man and this woman|in the state of holy matrimony.
It is the most sacred|of journeys...
one in which|the sanctity of human life...
is cherished and celebrated.
Your love must be sincere.
Detest what is evil,|cling to what is good...
rejoice in hope,|be patient under trial...
persevere in prayer,|be generous in offering hospitality.
Clothe yourselves|with heartfelt mercy...
with kindness, with humility,|meekness and patience.
Bear with one another. Forgive whatever|grievances you have against one another.
My dear friends, you have|come together in this church...
so that the Lord may seal|and strengthen your love...
in the presence of this church's|minister and community.
And so in the presence of the Church,|I ask you to state your intentions.
Anthony and Diane, have you come here|freely and without reservation...
to give yourselves|to each other in marriage?
- We have.|- We have.
Will you love and honour each other as|man and wife for the rest of your life?
We will.
Let us pray.
Huh?
Anthony and Diane, since it is|your intention to enter into marriage...
join your right hands|and declare your consent.
Diane, do you take Anthony|for your lawful husband...
to have and to hold|from this day forward...
for better, for worse, for richer,|for poorer, in sickness and in health...
till death do you part?
I do.
Anthony, do you take Diane to be|your lawfully wedded wife...
to have and to hold from this|day forward, for better, for worse...
for richer, for poorer, in sickness|and in health, till death do you part?
I do.
Ow! Yikes! Hey!
That's my liver, you dick!
Watch me. Watch me.
- What God hath joined together...|- Not personal. Is business.
Iet no man tear asunder.
Mazel Tov!
- That's far enough, guys. Mafia only.|- Oh. Sorry.
Lousy, cold-hearted bastard!
You knew you were gonna kill them,|didn't you? Look at the papers!
That's you!|That's my husband!
- Is it true?|- Don't ask me about my business, Diane.
Is it true, Anthony? Did you kill|those men? Did you kill Joey's son?
No.
Oh. Okay. Whoops.
You know what? Think I'm gonna|go get some frozen yogurt.
See you a little bit later.
So, here's the enigma:
Some would argue that|the Mafia's a bad thing...
that it uses its power|to undermine law and order...
- to promote the very lowest forms|of human behaviour.|- Don Cortino.
Of course, that's all true,|but in the end, maybe it's worth it.
The way I see it, when the law|fails us, it fails our children.
- Godfather.|- Only the Mafia has the power|to do the one deed...
to benefit all mankind.
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up, everybody and sing
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up, everybody and sing
Everyone can see we're together
- As we walk on by|- And
And we fly just like birds|of a feather
- I won't tell no lie|- All
All of the people around us|they say
Can they be that close
- Just let me state for the record|- Ooh, ltalian food!
We're givin' love|in a family dose
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up, everybody and sing
-We are family|-We're family! I would never betray you.
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up, everybody and sing
Yeah
- Yea!|- Come on, y'all!
We are family
- Get up everybody and sing|- Hey, how ya doin'?
- Ooh, yeah|- We are family
I got all my sisters with me
- Oh, oh, yeah|- We are family
Get up everybody and sing
We are family
- You smell good.|- I had cantaloupe for lunch.
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