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Mar Adentro

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Calm
Your feel more and more calm...
Now imagine a screen...
A movie screen that opens before you
Create on it any place you like
Concentrate on your breathing
Helping your body to relax...feel at peace
You don't have to change it. Just let it come and go
Come and go...
Now...
You are there
Pay attention to the details
The colors
The textures
The light
The temperature. Feel the temperature
Allow this calm view to develop before you
The feeling of peace is infinite...
It's raining cats and dogs
Are you sure this is closed
Are you more calm now?
Well, is not easy. With that view I have in front
What view?
I can see through your skirt
You are such a pig! You know what, I won't read you anymore.
Besides, is almost time. I'm going to pick her up
Ok, Iíll stand up and prepare some coffee
Would you like some music?
Ok, whatever is on
Ok, Iíll leave you with your Wagner
See you in a while
OUT TO SEA
Julia, get in the car. You're going to freeze
You are Genť, right. I am Mark, hello
And Julia?
It looks like Galicia doesn't like us
Yeah, well, it's February.
How was your flight?
Fine. We finally meet
Would you mind coming with me in the car?
We had agreed that only one person would come
Yes, of course
- And..? - Oh, Mark? He's only here to take notes
- Ok. Do you trust him? - Yes. Well...he works at the firm
Look, Iím not sure if you are aware of the step that Ramon has to take
Of course I know the step Ramon has to take. We've talked about it
Today it's you, then its the press, then it's the television.
Ramon is afraid that this could be taken in the wrong direction
All I can tell you is that Iíve come to do things as best as possible
I hope so...
And I remind you that for me this is really important
Not only professionally...
Believe me I understand Ramon very well
- Hello - Hello
My name is Julia
You are the lawyer
This is Manuela. Ramon's sister in law
- Do you want help? - No, no. It's fine
They're here
- Hello - Hello
Excuse me for not giving you my hand
How come?
They tell me you are a little nervous
- Well, let's see. The first thing is breakfast - What time?
9:30. Don't think that I like to wake up early
- After that, I listen to the radio for bit - What do you like to listen to?
- A little of everything. Mostly debates. - You like debates?
Yes, yes. I like the party
See. This is my personal computer
- Did you design it? - Yes, I like inventions.
My father or my nephew builds them
You are so serious all of a sudden
Why dying?
Well, let's see. I want to die because for me, life in this way...is not worthy
I can understand if other tetraplegic could feel offended when I say life like this is not worthy
But I don't judge anyone.
Who am I to judge those that want to live?
That's why I ask not to be judged nor the person that helps me to die
And do you think someone is going to help you?
Well, that would depend on the ones taking the decision. If they manage to conquer their fears
Is not such a big deal. Death has always been there and always will be
In the end we all get there. All of us. It is a part of us
Why are they so surprised because I say I want to die?
As if it is contagious
If we finally go to trial, they will ask you why you don't seek alternatives to your disability
Why do you reject the wheel chair?
To accept the wheelchair would be like accepting breadcrumbs of what used to be my freedom
Look, you are sitting there, less than 2 meters away
What are 2 meters?
An insignificant trip for any human being
Well, for me, those 2 meters, necessary to get to you and being able to touch you, is an impossible journey...
...a chimera, a dream
That's why I want to die
The three hours have passed, Ramon
She has to change my posture
Would you mind waiting downstairs?
He called us a year ago. He wanted us to, literally, help him die
I told him that we could provide psychological help, legal support. But we wouldn't put the cyanide in his mouth
He got very mad. He called us liars. I had to hang the phone
A few days later he called again, more calm. I was surprised at how decided he was
- He has ever hesitated? - Never
That is very important
- And how long has he been like this? - 26 years
His mother used to take care of him but when she died, his sister in law took over
How do you feel?
Fine, this arm...a little higher
I'm going to change the catheter
- Not now Manuela - Is just a moment. Let them wait
She is married to Jose, Ramon's brother
They live of the farm and a little orchard they have
And what do they think about this?
Ideas are free.
But I think that is not right
But why not?
I want what's best for him. Everyone in this house wants that
Then why would he want to die?
I cannot get that into my head
Is not rational, as he says
I cannot give it to him and I don't give my authorization to do it in this house
Hello
- Don't leave that there Javi! - Oh come on mom!
Take it to your room
Your uncle wants you to check the machine
- The bag... - Yes!
- What's wrong? - The roller is a little stuck
- Didn't you have exam today? - No. And the lawyer
She is with Genť and grandpa. He took them to the beach
They might end up in Corunna. With that head of him
Don't talk like that about your grandfather
His mind is completely gone
Of course, he is old, what do you want?
Well, that he stays out of the way
He is all day at home...
As if we needed him.
What
Look, one day...I don't know when, maybe in a long time...
One day you are going to regret so much, so much what you just said. That you will want the ground to swallow you
- But why? - One day, you'll see. One day...
Here the ocean is very treacherous. Those who dare bathe in it, have to be very careful
My son jumped from here.
I don't know what he was thinking.
He jumped exactly when the water was receding and he hit his neck against the sand
This is very very sad.
God wants him to keep on living.
But you know that he doesn't want to live anymore
But, he never told me anything, he never told me...he never told me anything
Look, we will win Heaven, because we have spent our whole lives in Hell
I tape this image so the judges or politicians or whoever has to decide
understand better...
Apparently they can't identify with the psychological pain of the person, then maybe this way they'll understand that this is not life
Why do you smile so much Ramon?
When you can't escape and depend constantly on others
You learn to cry by laughing
Good morning
- Does Ramon Sampedro lives here? - Yes, what do you want?
I was taking a ride and thought about visiting him
I heard lots of people come to see him
Ok
Just a little while
My name is Rosa
Come closer
Where are you from?
Boiro. I came on my bike
Oh God, I feel like such a fool
- Why? - Well, because I don't know what to say. Since I don't know you
Don't worry about that. I can't do anything else. Please, have a seat.
Why did you came?
You're not making it easy. What do you do?
I work in a conserve factory
and Iím also a radio host at Radio Boiro, Wednesdays and Fridays
- So, maybe Iíve heard you sometime - Yes?
- But is only an amateur thing... - No, you are pretty good - Yes, apparently, eh?
The thing is to get started, after that no one can stop me
- I have 2 little sons - Your husband?
- No. Well, yes, but we left him - Are you alone now?
Let's see. I had a boyfriend, the father of my youngest son...
but he also left me...we left him. So now Iím alone but happy
I was asking in case I had any chance...
Why do you laugh?
Sorry...
It's ok, I was joking
Besides, I don't think Iíd be willing to take on two children, I have enough with my nephew
I saw you on TV the other day
hmmm...see, now we are getting closer
Closer to what?
To the reason why you came
I heard what you said and then I saw your eyes, that are really pretty
Thanks
And I thought, those eyes full of life! Why would someone with those eyes want to die
Look, we all have problems sometimes and we don't have to run away of them, you know?
- No, I don't run away of my problems... - Yes, of course you do. That's why I wanted to come
What for?
To give you reasons to live
- To tell you that life... - Life what?
Is worth it
Let's see, did you came here to see me or to convince me?
No, I came because I want to be your friend Ramon
If you want to be my friend, Rosa, you should start by respecting my will
How can you be so closed?
Don't judge me. Don't judge me Rosa. Not in my own house
Or do you want me to judge you?
Do you want me to judge you? Why don't we talk about the real reason you came
Why don't we talk about the fact that you are clearly a frustrated woman...
that woke up this Saturday looking for ways of giving reason to your own life
Yes, run. You that can.
Thanks a lot. So you don't want me to put you anything?
- No, dear. Just stay as cheerful. Good night - Good night
Well, it's 8:45 and here we are at Radio Boiro.
I remind you that you can call and request your favorite song
Before I continue...I would like to dedicate the next song to someone that maybe is listening tonight
I know he listens to the radio a lot
I would love it for him to call me someday and ask for a song
Although I know he won't because...the last time we saw each other we didn't end up in good terms
But for what it's worth, Iíd like to tell him I'm sorry
I'm sorry I judged you Ramon, I am such a fool and I can't help it
Enough...for you my friend, Ramon, "Negra Sombra" (Black Shadow)
- Yes? - Hello
Genť! How are you?
Well, still at the office. You are giving us too much work, Ramon
I'm just kidding
Hey, the report was spectacular. We have received a lot of support calls
- This will be really great for the trial - If you say so...
Oh, come on! You have to improve that mood, otherwise we won't be able to do anything
- You knew we had to do this. - Yes, I know, I know
Julia, the lawyer, wants to see you again and this time for longer
Has she fallen in love with me?
You wish handsome! besides, she is married
No, she says she needs to know you better to prepare the case
That's what they all say
Wait... 2 minutes and Iím there
Hey, did you know that the guy that came with her wants to go out with me
- Are you leaving me for a lawyer? - No
You are missing on it
I see it quite well
Your leg
Well, yes..it moves
Let's see...this is going to be easy. You only need to answer with your heart
With the head, you mean..
With the head. You don't mind if I record it, right?
Let's begin with your youth, before your accident.
What did you do then?
Is that necessary? I had forgot all about it.
Is your memory that bad?
No. I just thought we would talk about my suicide demand
We will Ramon. Is just that is very important that the judge identifies with you
and that he understands you.
For that I need to know who is Ramon Sampedro and who he was
That way, you will use it against me later.
You are such a Galician!
- I'm your lawyer, Iím on your side - Ok
When I was 19, I packed my things and I went around the world
I was doing that for a couple of years, until the accident
Wait, wait. You went around the world with only 20 years?
You just don't know how. Ship mechanic.
I always tell my nephew. To travel without money, become a sailor.
What?
Looking for proof?
No, is that I can't see a single picture of you around here
How were you in your younger years?
Why? Am I so ugly now, or what?
Ok, I won't ask you anything else. That's it
You don't like looking into the past, right?
Of course not, I look into the future.
- And what is the future for you? - Death, just like for you
Don't you think about death? I'm not the only one who thinks about it.
Yes, yes. Of course I think about it
I just try that it doesn't become my only thought
Tomorrow is going to rain
Tomorrow is going to rain
I think he whistled
- I didn't hear a thing - Yes, he did
- What do you want? - The game already started
But you know I don't like soccer
Why don't you watch it downstairs
Hey, if you want to convince me you need to give me a rational justification
The "Depor" is playing
That is not a rational justification
- But it is important - Why?
Because it is decisive for the league. If they loose this one, they can only make it to second place
OK, turn it on
- Can you see? - Yes
Did you hear him whistle too?
Ramon told me you asked about the pictures
Yes
There's gotta be one somewhere
I'll look for them tomorrow
Thanks
If you need more blankets, look in the closet
In June, it is still cold at night
Manuela...
- No, no, no - Yes, yes, yes
I cannot accept this, I can't
Manuela, Iím going to stay a couple of days. The least I can do is contribute with something
But added to the fact that you are doing it for free
I'm doing this because I want to. Manuela, please...
Ok. Anything that you need, please let me know
Thanks
What are you plotting over there?
Nothing
It's a shame you can't see the sea from here
Is better like that
That way I can see it when I want to
How come?
When I want to, I concentrate and take a step to the sea
Flying
I imagine that the sea means a lot to you
Well, the sea gave me life and then took it away
I don't know if that means anything
Give me some details about that day. The day that your life changed, ok?
Whatever you say.
Ok, first...
...when did it happen?
August 23rd of '68
- You still lived with your parents? - Yes. I was still a kid
- Were you alone at the beach that day? - No, I was with some friends, town's folk
But how is it that someone so familiar with the sea didn't calculate the receding
I was distracted
Distracted?
Yes, I was thinking about things
And?
Ok. Leave it alone. It doesn't matter
I can see you don't want to talk about it either
No. I'm just remembering
When I realized I was in the air, jumping on an almost empty pool
- Were you left unconscious? - No. I was just there...face down
Floating
You know is true what they say about those that are about to die
that all of a sudden you get to see the most important moments of your life
That happened to me
And what did you see?
They say that those that drown, after all the air has been expelled, die instantly
A sweet death. I should have died then
- Do you still see all this people? - Some I do, some I don't
- Who is this girl? - Some girl
Well, she appears in many pictures
She lived in the town. Can I have a puff?
- Do you smoke? - From time to time in case it kills me
but nothing...
- She was my girlfriend - Your girlfriend? And what happened to her?
There was a time when she used to go to the hospital. One day she said something foolish about getting married
And I told her to get out of there, try to resume her life the best way she could and that she should forget about me
But, did you love her?
That was not the issue
How come?
The issue was if I wanted to love her in this condition
Are you telling me you refuse to love because...
Because I can't love
Just like that
So, what I have to tell the judge is that, in your opinion, tetraplegics have no right to fall in love
But who's talking about tetraplegics? I'm talking about me, Ramon Sampedro
There are other ways of making love
Yes of course
Has any girl kissed you in the past 27 years?
Now you are going to show me how, no?
- The girl from Borio is here - The girl from Borio?
- Christian, I told you to come here - Rosa!
- Hi Ramon - I told you to come here!
Leave him, it's ok. Are you good or bad?
- Bad. - Then we will get along fine
- I'm Julia - I'm Rosa, nice to meet you
I'm sorry to have interrupted you
I'll go for a while and leave you alone
- How are you? - Fine
I hope you are not here to give me some of those reasons to live you always bring
No. No way. Well, I don't know...
I wanted to see you. And wanted you to meet my sons
That's better
Christian, behave yourself. We are not at home.
This is Samuel. Sami, say hello
Hi, Sami.
- Why are you in bed? - Because he can't move, I already explained it to you
Is it true you can't feel a thing?
What happens to you now? Are you hot?
Is just that with this weather you never know.
We are on strike because there's been a month since they paid us. So it's like Sunday for us
I made the breakfast, we took the bus and we came to see you
- What happened? - Nothing
Samuel, why are you crying now?
Manuela...
What do you think about all this? Tell me the truth
What do I think about what?
That your brother in law wants to die
Thatís what he wants
Ok, but...
...but you. What would you want? What would you prefer?
What I prefer has no importance
Ramon wants to die. Everything is quite clear for me
- Would you like to see a thing? - A thing?
Yes, come
- Christian, leave that alone - Leave me alone!
I'm going to leave your ass like a ripe tomato
Almost all of them are poems
I never threw anything away
I couldn't do it. It takes a lot of effort for him to write them
And his handwriting... Look...
I never saw such a beautiful handwriting
- Ok. I'll be downstairs - Manuela
Is going to take me a while to read all of this
- Would you mind telling Ramon that... - That you went to the beach
- ...to take a walk - Thanks
Of course it is the first and the last time I bring you here
- But mom, that guy is faking it - The last time!
- Did she tell you when would she be back? - Just to take a walk
That way you can take a nap
- You can't complain - Why?
Not a minute passes by that a woman comes into this house. Are you building a harem?
Manuela, you know Iím only married to one
Yes, with Death
- Do you want anything else? - No
They told me you were here. And I came flying
Manuela...
Hi
How was the walk?
I've been reading Ramon
I've been reading all that you have done.
You know what?
What you have written...
...is wonderful
So...you are not only a lawyer, but also a writer
Ok. Make fun of me.
But I tell you that this can be published
Of course it can be published. Nowadays you can publish almost anything
I don't see a better way to support your demand
Is your voice
Look Julia, this was more clear at the beginning
You came here with a purpose, to help me
Instead of that, you start questioning everything. Looking for reasons...
You get inside my feelings...
Do you want me to leave?
What I want right now is a cigarette, please
Sure.
I'll go get them
Julia, what happened?
Are you alright?
Manuela!
Is not about what happened, but about what could happen.
Because...one day...is the legs
But on another day...
...you can go blind
And you can get better or not
I had been lucky so far
but then comes the next stroke
and the next, and the next
and no one can tell you when or how they are going to be
No one can tell what is going to be left of you if anything at all
Your husband is very optimistic
And what is it good for? If there's not even medication for this
What's the point of standing up, working, getting your hopes up if at the end comes the next stroke and you fall again
and you feel again like shit
Is ridiculous
I called you because I want to become a member of DMD
I had thought about it 2 years ago when I was diagnosed
but I backed out at the last moment
But not after this...
...not after this.
I can't take it anymore. This isn't life
Does your husband know?
- I don't know if I want to tell him - You should
Fear is a very powerful weapon.
Fear doesn't give you freedom to decide
What you are telling me right now is a product of that fear
Maybe, later, you will back out, precisely out of fear
Do not act based on fear.
You are supposed to support people that want to commit suicide, right?
No.
Do you think that I go around telling people with problems that the best is to get out of the way
No. What we support is freedom. The freedom of those that want to live and those that want to die
Is very different
And CADASIL is a very fucked up disease, I agree
But I only ask that you think it a little bit more
Ramon, gave me this for you
If you want, we can talk some other day about this
How do you see her?
Fine
Really? I also think she is fine
- Ok. Nice to meet you - Thanks for coming
You are welcome
- I'll stay a while longer - OK
Dear Julia...When Genť told me that a lawyer wanted my case
there was something that influenced my decision
and it was the fact that the lawyer suffered a degenerative disease
I thought that only someone in that condition could really understand mine
And shared my hell
Now I know that living in that hell is sometimes worth it, if one gets to meet people like you
Is worth it to have shared a cigarette with them
or, like right now, caressing them even if its just by writing some foolishness like this
And talking about foolishness, I'm correcting my writings
With the hope that you will come soon and give me a hand
For now, my nephew Javi is helping me by copying them on his computer
For the rest, life continues just the same, you know
Manuela kept the whole month covering me so next year doesn't catch me off guard
Javi keeps fighting with his grandpa and sometimes I make up little chores so they spend more time together
This month some friends came to visit. Some of them have been doing it for 25 years
and that keeps surprising me
They enjoy telling me their stories
Do you remember Rosa? The girl from the conserve factory.
I think she found here some kind of refuge
The other day she wanted to help Manuela to change my clothes, and they ended up arguing
I proved again that when you depend on someone for everything, you lose your privacy
Well...I hope to keep my little kingdom in order until you can cheer me up with your presence
A big hug.
What's going on?
Let's see. What does it say here?
"No es asi la vida que va" (The life that goes is not like that)
No sir. It has to say "No es asŪ la vida. Quť va" (Life is not like that. No way)
- No - Yes. And that "Quť" has accent
That "Quť" has accent. Do you see it? Right there.
"Death is my friend," where's the colon?
What are they teaching you in school?
You have to pay attention to what I give you
Even your grandpa would do it better
Look Javi, if this is the way you are going to help I rather you didn't do it, ok?
Because you make me work twice
Give me the stick. Give me the stick
Put a little more attention, ok?
- Javi, what happened? - Nothing
Dear Ramon...please forgive me for taking so long in answering your letter
But the doctors have limited me the use of the computer and in general, any activity that doesn't make me use my legs
They assure me that Iíll be able to walk again but they say that I shouldn't continue with your case
In the physical therapy room there's a huge window
Sometimes I imagine that I go through it and fly, like you, over Barcelona
I reach the sea and keep flying until I can only see that endless line of water
And think, foolish me, that if you do the same from Corunna, maybe you'll go around the world again
And we end up finding each other in some part of the planet
I identify with you when you mention the lack of freedom and privacy
I try to bear with it, mainly for my husband that takes care of me with much dedication
But at the same time, I refuse to fall into this inertia
where I just can be grateful for what is given because I have no other choice but to accept it
I wish Iíll be able to see you in a couple of months
And I keep my promise of helping you with the book
Until then receive the thanks and a hug from a very good friend
I knew this could happen, I knew it. We are going to have to try again
No Mark, how can you say that we have to try again?
As if justice is so swift in this country
No. And now it is me the one that has to tell him
The demand of the tetraplegic Ramon Sampedro requesting the euthanasia was rejected yesterday by the tribunals due to defects in its form
The sentence says that the judicial process should have been started in Corunna
where he resides, and not in Barcelona
Many voices have been raised due to this case among them is priest's Francisco de Galdar
tetraplegic like Ramon
Ramon says he doesn't want to live anymore, but I wonder
isn't it possible that Ramon is asking of society, of all of us, some kind of attention
What is he talking about?
Maybe is that the people that surround him doesn't provide the love or support that he needs
That moron
Couldnít it be possible that what Ramon is asking is for more love?
I would really like to talk to him and convince him that there are many reasons to keep on living
Aren't you going to school?
I hope you are happy now!
Our whole family humiliated on television
But keep it up, keep it up. Until our faces fall out of embarrassment
And you dad? Aren't you going to tell him anything?
Don't involve dad in this. Whatever you have to tell me, do it and be done with it
I'm going to tell you something Ramon. I am the older brother
Listen to me, listen to me for a moment
What if you have an accident tomorrow and you die?
Have you thought about it?
What would happen to me? I would have to take care of the family, right?
Of your wife, your son, dad... With that miserable pension of mine
If I stay alive, Iíll make things a lot more difficult
I'm going to tell you something Ramon. I am the older brother
I am the older here. And while Iím alive, no one is getting killed here
No one in this house is getting killed. Put that in your head, Ramon
No one!
- Ok, son. I'll leave - See you tomorrow dad
I'll go
Hi Manuela, I came to see Ramon
But, do you know what time it is?
I know. I couldn't come sooner. I'll explain it to Ramon
I don't think he's in the mood of visits. He had a bad day
Why don't you come tomorrow? Or the day after?
It's important
The conserve factory is closing
That things are not going well. That there's no money to pay us
And that we are fired
There's no right, damn it!
There's no right.
- Forgive me Ramon - I have nothing to forgive
Cry all you want. I wish I could stand up and give you a hug
Now that I had started to save some money
I wanted to buy you a telescope for the day of the Wise Men
You don't have to buy me anything, Rosa
I will get really mad if you spend one cent on me
But I really wanted to
- I wanted to give you something - But why do you have to give me anything?
Because you game me a lot Ramon, you have no idea
No man has never been so kind to me as you have been
Was it that bad?
Now, I don't complicate things
Now I know that the problem must be me, right
That men doesn't like me or something
What do you say, Rosa? How is that even possible?
Wasn't that what you told me when I came here the first time?
Frustrated woman, you said
Yes, yes. If I called you that then, now I call you strong and brave
and kind and beautiful. And I call an imbecile to those who can't see it
Rosa, please stop it.
You make me feel like a priest and I hate them enough already
Sit over here, come on sit.
And leave my hand alone, you know I can't feel it
My son says you are faking it.
But you do feel your face, right?
I wish I could help you. I would do anything to help you.
You would help me?
Yes
Don't worry. I have it all planned so that no one ends up in jail
I have some friends that are willing to help
I only need one more. Someone brave, like you
No.
Help you heal...
not die
Come un guys, let's go.
Are you holding him?
He won't fit through here
Ramon says that he understands the situation but that he won't come down
Ok. It doesn't matter. Brother Andres
Go upstairs and tell Ramon
...and since we are inside eternity. Life doesn't belong to us...
and we take to ridiculous extremes the bourgeois definition of private property
You are killing me
But if Church was the first one in secularize the private property
- I can't tell him that - How come?
Should I tell him that?
Freedom to choose my beliefs...no, his beliefs and decide over his life
Ok, now you tell him
Why does the Church keep with such passion that posture of terror of death?
Because it knows that it would lose a great amount of its customers
if people lose their fear to the Great Beyond
He reminds you that according to the polls, 67% of the Spanish are in favor of euthanasia
Very well, very well. Now you tell him that moral issues are not resolved through polls
Because most of the German people was also in favor of Hitler
Now he is going to compare me to Hitler. That is very rude
No, not that
Ask him what does Hitler has to do with anything
No wait... Padre Francisco, do you hear me?
Yes. Ramon I can hear you
Why do you mix pears with apples?
I hope you didn't come here to do demagoguery.
Because you Jesuits know a lot about that.
No, no. Of course not.
But since you bring up demagoguery, my dear Ramon.
Don't you think that what's really demagogic is to say "Death with dignity"
Why don't you leave the euphemisms aside and call things by its name, with all its rawness
"I take my life" and that's it...
It keeps surprising me your interest in my life, when the Institution that you represent
accepts the death penalty and condemned for centuries to the bonfire those who didn't think in the right way
Now it is you the one doing demagoguery
Yes of course, but leaving the euphemisms aside, as you say that's what you would have done with me, right?
Burn me alive
Burn me for defending my freedom
Ramon, my friend...
Friend?
Ramon, my friend. A freedom that eliminates life is not freedom
And a life that eliminates freedom is not life either
Don't call me friend! And leave me alone
Come on. Let's go
You...you that look like kind people, give this man reasons to live
Prove to him that life is not only moving your arms and running around
or kicking a ball. Damn it! Life is something else, really
Life is so much more. Hear it from me.
And what do you want us to do?
That we gag him so he doesn't talk?
Or that we put him to sleep with a rattle like a little kid
Look. you appeared on TV and something that I can't take out of my head
Manuela, leave it alone
You said that Ramon's family didn't give him enough love...
you should know that in this house no one stopped loving Ramon for one single day
Not one day
I've been looking after him for many years and I love him like a son
I don't know which one of you is right
And I don't know if it's true what you say about life belonging to God and not to us
but I do know one thing
you have a very big mouth
Rosa, I told you that is not necessary. I already shaved Ramon
Yes, yes. But I know a better way
Where do you have the soap?
They're here
I don't feel anything. Are you sure there's a child in there?
7 months old, darling
- Well, he's not moving - You're the one that doesn't move
- Now, now, now - See
- He's happy to see you - How are you going to call him?
We still don't know
Well, call him Ramon and that way one day when he asks why, you can tell him my story
Is better if you tell him
There's someone else who will be really happy to see you
- No, no. Not like that - Grandpa, shut up
- How come you didn't say anything? - We wanted to surprise you
This a great Wise Men's day present
I'm going to open the windows, it's really hot in here
We better get out and leave you alone for a while
How are you sailor?
- Do you drink coffee Mark? - Yes, please
- How are you Rosa? - Fine
Ramon told me that you had found a new job
Yes, caring for some elderly people
Does that woman is going to stay long?
A couple of weeks, depending on how long the book takes
Well, I guess I won't be able to shave him. See you some other time
Bye Rosa
Ok, the judges have their hands tied because of the legislation
We are going to try to obtain a statement
where we recommend to the government changes to the penal code
- The government? - The government is there to serve us, Javi
Your uncle is more important
The jury will not dare agree with us, we already know that
But we cannot fail on the regional audience
Javier, help me with the cows
We have to convince the judges that Ramon is complete sane and lucid
It would help us a lot if he would make a declaration
Manuela, we have to take Ramon out of the house
Can you tell me what were you doing in there?
Do you know what are they talking about? What they want?
And what do I do? Lock myself up in the room?
Do you understand what they really want?
What happens if he wins the trial?
Your uncle gets injected and dies, like a dog. And you never see him again
You will never see him again, Javier
Or do you think death is so great?
Please use your head
Death is a very serious thing, you hear me?
- Your uncle dies and you won't see him again. - Leave me alone
Is not that he doesn't feel like it, he just doesn't want to use the chair
Taking him out of the house once or twice a year is an accomplishment
Well, this one has to be one of those times. It is very important that Ramon takes this trip.
And when would that be?
I estimate that the trial will take place in the spring
So we still have time to propose it to him.
There's only one thing worse than the death of a son
and that is he wanting to die
Well, let's get to work
"...get inside of you, eternally, my seducer lover, beloved sea"
Can you really smell the sea from here?
Yes, and sometimes in the morning if there's wind
and the window is open, I can smell it as if I was there
You have a very good nose
Smells are probably what cause me more intense sensations
More fantasies
...your smell, for example.
My smell
Yes, is the first thing I imagine when I day dream about you
Really?
- And what are those dreams about? - Just things
They all have one thing in common...
In all of them I can move...
and I stand up and travel wherever I imagine you are at that moment
And if I imagine that you are here, for example
I just get close to you
And do what I have been wishing to do so many times
Then your smell becomes stronger and I get dizzy
I can feel your heart beat then I feel your hands
And then I lose my mind... I lose my mind
Is the water ok?
Julia...
Julia, are you awake?
Yes
I can't sleep
Why is that
I have an itching in one leg, can you come and scratch it?
...the leg
I brought him some "filloas"
- I know he likes them - Rosa, please listen -I made them
I've told you that you don't have to cook him anything, or bathe him or shave him. Nothing
I take care of Ramon. Get it?
- Ok, then I want to hear it from him - No, he already told me
Besides, he is very busy now.
Is he with her?
I wish I was a lawyer too. But of course...
- Don't cry Rosa, don't cry - If you don't want to see me, please tell me
- Of course I want to see you - It doesn't look that way
Really, what are you...
Rosa... Rosa...
She hung up
Do you mind dialing the number again and giving me a minute alone
What's going on between you two, Ramon?
But Julia...
Why would I need to explain anything to you?
I don't understand why you answer me like that, because then I don't know what Iím doing here.
Unless of course, you think that there's nothing happening here
The kiss you gave me yesterday meant nothing?
Look at you
Look at you sitting there
Look at you
And now look at me
Where are we going Julia?
Look at us
I haven't finished
What do you think?
That I don't think about what happened to me?
Of course, I think about it. Frequently.
Every single day. It's like a nightmare.
And I know that it will only get worse and worse until I end up like a vegetable
So I have reached a conclusion and I rather...
I'm going to do it Ramon.
I'm going to take my own life
But before I do it, if you want to, my love...
I would like to help you.
Leave together...
You don't say anything? You didn't expect this.
When?
I don't know. We are almost done with the book and...
I'll go to Barcelona and look for an editor so you can publish it.
And then Iíll come back with the first copy. That same day, Ramon. That same day.
Listen to me, in the worst case scenario we would win the public support.
If the verdict is negative the discussion will be more heated
- Don't be stupid...I can't understand... - Are you ok? - Yes, Yes
News, what news?
Mark, please be careful. It's ok, it's ok. What happened Ramon?
We are here.
I understand Ramon, I understand. But that doesn't matter
Listen to me, if no one takes this step. If everyone hides their heads and doesn't even try to confront the state, the judges...
And what do we do now Manuela? I mean, with the trip to Corunna.
Do I go there and waste my time?
Knowing that they won't listen to me.
Well, I think that today it is a waste of time but maybe tomorrow it could be useful for someone else
Ok. Let's go and see those judges in the face
- Javi, where is the chair - The chair?
I don't know, it's probably in the back.
Well, I want you to take it out and clean it up. Then bring grandpa and Iíll explain. We are going to make some changes
Are going to put a motor?
- You have to cut here and here - Let the back move, right?
You have to cut these pipes down here and then join them with bolts so they move as hinges. Are you getting this?
- Yes, yes - And you dad?
Your going to be lying down son. You might fall sleep at the trial
Is not like they're saying anything interesting, dad.
Die to Live
LETTERS FROM HELL
You should put a pillow here to support my head
In case I fall backwards and break my neck
Hey, Javi. Do you get it? Break my neck... Break my neck...
Grandpa
Look, if you're going to help me like that, is better if you do nothing
- Am I tying you too tight? - You're asking me?
Wait a moment please. Ramon
Manuela, please. As if I don't look ridiculous enough
Better this than catching a cold
And don't you dare, taking it off
You are Ramon Sampedro, right?
I really wished it was me the one to take you.
Living is a right, not an obligation!
- Look at all the people here - Who did we kill, eh?
Ramon, do you feel alone because you are the only Spanish to have requested euthanasia?
Yes, well, the first one in requesting it in a public manner. But this has been happening for many years.
What do you expect from the judges? What are you going to tell them?
I just want to tell them that Iím completely sane and lucid
Silence
Can we talk later?
Silence, please
In a state declared as lay and that recognizes the right to the private property
and which constitution expresses also the right not to suffer tortures or degrading treatments
is correct to say, that whomever sees his position as degrading, as in Ramon Sampedro's case,
should be able to decide over his own life
in fact, no one that attempts suicide and survives is judged afterwards
but... when you need the help of someone else
to die with dignity, then the state interferes with the freedom of the people and tells them
that the life they are living is not theirs, that they can't make decisions about it
This, Your Honor, can only be done based on metaphysical beliefs, or religious
In a state, I repeat...
that is declared lay
Your Honor, I ask for a legal answer, but above all, rational
and human
And now, with your permission, Ramon Sampedro would like to read something
Overruled
My client want to address you directly so you hear from his own voice...
You know perfectly well the process
Of course I know it, I know it perfectly
But I didn't know that it was so irrelevant for you to give three minutes of your time
Three...
To listen to a man that has been waiting for 28 years
If you want to change the process...
change the laws
Yes, of course. I know that already.
This case is ready for a sentence.
Well...I knew you were not going to take it seriously.
That's what all men do. Laugh at me. You were not going to be different
Rosa, forgive me. Is just that lately a little of everything happens to me
- And...Iím a little overwhelmed. - Why?
Is not allowed to fall in love with a tetraplegic or what?
Is it that weird?
Well, maybe we should clear up some things. Specially if we are talking about something as complex as love.
- Complex? - Yes Rosa, complex.
No matter how much you tell me that you love me, I will never be sure of how real is your love
or if it's just an idealization of a man you wanted to find but couldn't or didn't last.
But what are you talking about Ramon? Don't try to confuse me
Either you love or you don't. You can't rationalize love
Well, if that's the case, what do you want me to do? You want me to move in with you?
For me is enough to know that I can visit you from time to time
Of course you can. Of course you can
Yes, but for how long?
Rosa. You wouldn't ask me to stay alive for you, right?
What if I told you that...
that you give me strength to live Ramon
Wait wait. Stop this thing for a moment
Sit over there.
- Let's see. Do you love your children? - Of course I do.
Well, there you have the strength to live
Don't give me that responsibility Rosa
Is that what you call love? Keep me here against my will?
Look...
The person that really loves me is the one that will help me die.
That is love, Rosa
Dear Julia...yesterday I received the sentence of the provincial audience
the judges understand that I want to die, but remind me that to help me, would be punishable by law
In other times, this would have affected me a lot
Pushing me into that alley without exit where days and nights never end
But now I feel that everything is rushing by and that the publication of the book will happen any day now
And with it you will return Julia. My Juliet...
It will be the sweetest death that I could ever imagine
It will be love, pure and shared
And it will be the return to balance. Finally to balance
A kiss, my dear friend
Ok, see you later
Should I open it?
Is the book!
Look, is the book. You are on the cover
It smells great
Is for you
I'm going to show it to mom
Why...why... why can't I be happy with this life?
I'm going to give you a tranquilizer
Why do I want to die? Why do I want to die?
Give me two more Manuela.
Manuela, for crying out loud, two more pills are not going to kill me
Give me two more
You'll feel better soon
- How do you feel? - Fine
What time is it?
11:00 am. I didn't want to wake you up today
The girl from Boiro has called three times already
What did she want?
She says she has to talk to you about something important
- For her it is always important - Dial the number for me please
Are you going to call her? Why don't you wait for her to call back?
But she can barely pay her phone bill. Dial the number please
Of course Ramon. You always so kind
- Ramon? - What's going Rosa?
I need to see you. I have to talk to you
- You said I should call you before visiting you - Yes. Did something happened?
Can I come now?
Look Ramon, you said you had a plan or something
That you had figured out a way of doing what you want to do, if the judges decided against you
Yes, Rosa, but I already asked you to forgive me, right?
I told you to forget about it
Yes. But I can't
I can't, you know
Because last month the audience said no. And you are still thinking about doing it
Is that what worries you? That I get my way?
- So, are you going to do it? - Is not that easy, Rosa. But don't worry
You will be the last person to find out.
Ramon...
Is that I realized... I understood what you said in Corunna.
"The person that really loves me will be the one to help me"
I'm completely sure about what I feel Ramon
I love you
Do you want me to help you?
Rosa...
I'm not joking Ramon. Do you want me to help you?
But what are you going to tell him? Jose wait...
Did you hear me! I will not allow this
And what are you going to do? Strap me to the bed?
Or are you going to fill me with sleeping pills like they used to do at the hospital?
- No one is going to prevent me of getting out of here - I will
- Not even you - I will
Will see about that!
Or is it that I mean nothing in this house?
I am the older brother I am the head of the family
Do you think that means anything to me?
At my age?
For me what counts is what people have in their heads, and you have nothing in yours
I will not be a slave of your ignorance anymore or of your prude conscience
An what about me? I am also a slave
How do you think I felt when I left the sea?
All my life here, living out of this fucking orchard
To be with you. To be only with you
Me, my wife and my son. All slaves!
- Hello - Hello
- Your uncle is going to Boiro - Boiro?
What for?
To spend some time there, he says
He's leaving with that woman, Rosa
- Are they getting married? - No they're not
What is that about you leaving?
For how long?
I want to give you my book. It's over there.
- But aren't there any more, or what? - Yes of course, but that one is the first copy
Open it at the bookmark
- "To my son"? - Yes. Read it please.
To my son
Forgive me son for not being born
It wasn't my fault to leave you behind
It were the roses the ones afraid
Forgive me for not had been able to play with you
I don't know if you were born after I passed
Remember always that I still love you
Give a kiss to your mother from me
And don't keep any resentments towards me
Is not good to hate.
So...did you get it?
- Yes - Let's see
Well, it's about a son you never had and this is like you are speaking to him
And you ask for forgiveness for not having him
Ok. But what did I added down there?
- "To Javier" - So? - So what?
Don't you see what Iím trying to say?
But Iím not your son
Of course not...
But if Iím dedicating you that poem, is for a reason, no?
But Iím not your son
I don't know what is that they teach you at school. Get out of here. Get out.
You are all so weird
Ramon? How are you? Wait a moment, I can't hear you
- Tell me dear - I'm leaving tomorrow
Yes, Rosa told me this afternoon. I'm sure you are impatient
A little
Hey Ramon, Iíve been researching about that thing you know...
- What? - Well that thing... - The powder?
Yes, the powder. You have to calculate an exact dose of 200 mg. But it is probable that it is a little painful...just so you know.
Genť. I think is best if you forget about all this. It worries me that someday you could be implicated in this.
In fact, that's why Iím calling, I want to say good bye and we shouldn't talk again
Is for your security. You shouldn't even talk to Mark about this.
- Yes, yes. I understand. So this is farewell. - Is better this way
Ok, ok...ok. Let me tell you something...
Ramon, think it through all the times that is necessary.
Don't feel pressured. I mean, don't do it to set an example or to not disappoint the public, or us or the association
No one is pushing you to do it, do you understand me?
- Do you understand me Ramon? - Not you too, Genť, please
- I'm sorry Ramon - Goodbye Genť
Have a nice journey, partner.
Good bye Manuela...
and you Javi, please be good
I understood what you meant with the poem
Come here a moment
Give me a hug
Do me favor. Take care of your grandpa
Well Ramon, here we go.
Can you close the door, kid?
Come on, close it.
What are you going to do in Boiro chief?
I'm going to the beach. For a change of view.
A change of view? That's great
This is the best I could find with the money you gave me.
And I told them about the view. Do you like it?
- Where do I sign? - What for? - To marry you.
He fell asleep
Of course. Since I don't move at all.
Ramon. If there's really life after death...
I know this is going to sound foolish, but...
- Please send me a sign? - A sign?
Anything. I never was scared of spirits. I will be very alert. Waiting. Will you do it?
Of course.
But, between you and me, I think that after we die there's nothing. Just like before we are born. Nothing
How can you be so sure Ramon?
No one knows that
No Iím not sure.
Is just a feeling. Is like when my father looks at the sky and says "Tomorrow is going to rain" and it does
Is a feeling.
But there's something you shouldn't forget. I'm going to be in your dreams
I'm going to come at night to your bed and we will make love
And in case I don't tell you in your dreams I tell you now
Thanks Rosa, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks
Judges, political and religious authorities. What does dignity mean to you?
Whatever the answer of your conscience know that for me, this is not a worthy life.
I would have liked to at least die with dignity
Today, tired of the institutional laziness, I see myself forced to do it in hiding, like a criminal
You should know that the processes conducting to my death
has been carefully divided in small actions that do not constitute a crime by themselves
and have been executed by several friendly hands
if even then, the state insists in punishing my helpers
I would suggest that you cut their hands, because that is all that they contributed
The head, I mean the conscience was provided by me
As you can see, to my side I have a glass of water
that contains a dose of potassium cyanide
when I drink it I will cease to exist
relinquishing my most precious property. My body
I believe that living is a right not an obligation, as has been in my case
forced to accept this sad situation during 28 years, 4 months and some days
After all this time I make a balance of the road traveled and I can't account for the happiness
Only the time that passed against my will, during most of my life
will be my ally from now on
Only time and the evolution of consciences will decide one day if my request was reasonable or not.
Well...
It's hot...
- And Mark, is he coming? - He is with our son on the beach. He loves the sea
- They can't be thinking about getting in - No! It's too cold
- How are you? - Fine
- Is she going to understand me? - Yes...
- I mean, does she still follow conversations and such - Yes, yes. Sometimes is a little difficult, but..
- Well...I'll go see her, see you later - See you later
Hello Julia
Hello. How are you?
- Fine, and you? - Well...here
You have a very nice house. Very beautiful
Well, you know that Ramon left me many letters.
I think that he had fun leaving writings around after he died
The thing is that the other day
I found this letter for you.
Ramon who?
Ramon Sampedro... Your friend
I introduced you two. Do you remember?
You?
Yes
It's very nice in here.
Out to sea, Out to sea
And in the weightlessness of the bottom
where dreams come true
two wills come together to make a wish come true
Your look and my look
like an echo repeating, without words
Deeper, Deeper
beyond everything through the blood and the bones
But I always wake up
and I always wish Iíd be dead
to stay with my mouth
entangled in your hair
MASH 1970 CD1
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Money Money Money (Claude Lelouch 1972) CD1
Money Money Money (Claude Lelouch 1972) CD2
Mongjunggi
Monkeybone - Special Edition
Mononoke
Monsters Ball
Monsters and Cie
Monthy Python - Life Of Brian
Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl 1982
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Monty Pythons Life of Brian
Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life
Monty Pythons and the Meaning of Life
Moon Child 2003 CD1
Moon Child 2003 CD2
Moon Spinners CD1
Moon Spinners CD2
Moonfleet 1955
Moonlight Whispers 1999
Moscow Does Not Believe In Tears CD1
Moscow Does Not Believe In Tears CD2
Mosquito Coast The CD1
Mosquito Coast The CD2
Most Terrible Time In My Life The (1994)
Mostly Martha
Mother India 1957 CD1
Mother India 1957 CD2
Mother Kusters Goes To Heaven 1975
Mother Night 1996
Mother The 2003 CD1
Mother The 2003 CD2
Mothman Prophecies The
Moulin Rouge CD1
Moulin Rouge CD2
Mouse Hunt
Mrs Doubtfire
Mrtav Ladan
Muhammad - Legacy Of A Prophet CD1 2002
Muhammad - Legacy Of A Prophet CD2 2002
Mujer mas fea del mundo La
Mummy Returns The - Collectors Edition (Widescreen)
Mummy The - Full-Screen Collectors Edition
Muppet Christmas Carol The
Murder By Numbers
Murder In The First 1995
Murder Most Foul (1964)
Murder My Sweet 1944
Murder at the Gallop
Muriels Wedding
Musketeer The
My Babys Daddy
My Beautiful Laundrette
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
My Boss My Hero
My Bosss Daughter 2003
My Girlfriends Boyfriend (Eric Rohmer 1987)
My Life as a Dog 1985
My Life to Live
My Neighbors the Yamadas (Isao Takahata 1999) CD1
My Neighbors the Yamadas (Isao Takahata 1999) CD2
My Son the Fanatic
My Tutor Friend (2003) CD1
My Tutor Friend (2003) CD2
My Wife Is A Gangster 2
My Wife Is Gangster
Mystery Of Rampo