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Mermaids

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Mallick! There's a whole lot of fish down there.
The reef's below. Perfect blast site.
- Carlo, what's with all the diet soda? - You don't need three.
l hope you didn't drink it all, all the artificial sweeteners.
l mean it. One will do the job.
These sweeteners are poison,
killing the unborn, bringing tumours on our population!
OK, man, it's your boat.
l love fishing! Yeah!
Get the net.
Did you see that?
- What is it? - l've no idea.
lt's getting away. Take the wheel!
- What are you doing? - Stay close.
- No way! lt can't be! ls that a...? - Come on!
Come on, Mallick!
Come on!
Damn it!
What did you think that was?
l'm not sure.
Two Jack and Cokes, diet Jack, Jack on the rocks,
one Jack straight up and hold the sex jokes.
Did you get that, Earl? Earl?
- Maybe you got it that time. - l got it.
Venus, l told you not to make eye contact with the guys in the bar.
- God, Betty, it was just Earl. - Especially Earl.
We know he's easily distracted.
So maybe you could have him stop drooling over the help.
We looked at a dozen girls in that tank before you.
Where'd you learn to swim like that?
At the Y.
You know, l think it's time we dropped the charade.
l know what you are.
What am l?
A gold-digger. l've seen 'em come and go like you before.
Young, can't see tomorrow, trying to work what you got while you got it.
- You think l want Earl. - l would be happy to give him to you.
But then my little girl wouldn't have a father.
l don't want your husband or his money.
l don't even want this damn job.
That's what l don't get. Why are you working here?
You wouldn't understand. Excuse me, l'm on a break.
Look at him, poor thing. lt's mating season and he's all alone.
Got me all choked up. Can we get this done, June?
l'm serious, Daryl. He'd have a harem of 50 females out in the wild.
- Come on! - l think you mean 50 cows.
lf you ask me, he's better off here.
OK. You talk with him while l go in for the jab.
lt's OK, buddy, l know how you feel.
Well, not exactly how you feel.
l don't need 50 guys. l'd just settle for one.
- You OK? - Fortunately, l'm very athletic.
- Savage beast. - He is not savage.
- He doesn't like you. - Yeah? lt's his loss.
l'm getting the trank gun.
l know. l hate shots, too.
There you go, buddy. Go!
How'd you do that?
l just told him what was coming. How are you doing, Randy?
- You want a hand? - No, thanks.
Are you going to the opening of the aquarium?
- Yeah, Cynthia invited me. - Cynthia. Of course.
- l was looking for her. - Randy.
Hey, honey.
- Hey, Junie. - Hi!
- There is a fabulous bistro on the pier. - Let's go.
- l'll see you tonight at the opening. - Yeah. See you.
- That surf was awesome! - The size of the last wave!
Yeah. Let's check out the band at the marina.
Yeah.
OK. You get the beer and l'll...
- Whoa! That is a sign from God. - What kind of a sign?
One of his better ones.
- Hey, where are your clothes? - Don't blow it, dude!
l'm looking for a mermaid. l was told she works round here.
D'you mean the mermaid at the Breakers? lt's a bar up the road.
We could...give you a ride.
Take off your clothes.
Give it up. They're practically engaged.
- You can't compete with beauty... - l'm not.
l'm just staring.
Competing would require actual effort on my part.
Attention, please. We're here to celebrate
Moonstone Aquarium's magnificent new undersea environment.
This impressive, two-million-gallon tank
was made possible by the generous donation of Mr Jason Platt.
Oh, Daddy!
- lt's beautiful. - l'll get you another one.
- l gotta go. - Stay with me.
Which way are you going home?
- Thank you, honey. - Where are my keys?
Somebody help me find my keys.
Come on, we'll find 'em.
- What can l get you? - l'm looking for a mermaid.
She's just finished. How about something to drink?
Seawater, please.
This ain't no health and beauty bar.
- l'll have what she's having. - Attagirl.
You throw back a couple of these...
...l might look good to you.
Sorry about that.
Here, have that.
Diana?
Diana, you're dry! Which is more than l can say for you.
- Give me some love! - Where have you been?
- Taking a little shore leave. - You've been gone for three weeks.
Hot cocoa. You'll love it.
You work in a tank?
My first hot drink, l almost lost my mind.
- Like they used to imprison fish? - Don't be so dramatic.
lt's more like an aquatic showcase.
- What do you do in it? - Get my groove on.
ls that the...fertility dance?
You should see the men it attracts.
Not like those wet necks with barnacles and algae.
l can't believe you swim in front of mortals.
- lt goes against every tradition... - Chill.
lt's not like l show tail. Not my real one, anyway.
You bear these indignities to live here?
l love you, but l am not in the mood to debate lifestyle choices.
- So, why'd you come? - lt's Father.
Let me guess. Daddy wants me to spend more time hunting with him.
We all can't be as perfect as...
He's dead, Venus.
No!
He can't be!
Hey, want a date?
l'm easy. All right, l'm not easy.
Hopeless.
What did you say to get him so upset?
Randy! Hi.
l'm not much for black-tie deals.
- Thought l'd get some air. - What about Cynthia?
She won't miss me. She's in her element back there.
Tropical paradise here, open bar over there.
- Feel like we're in Fiji. - You've been?
Nothing like diving the Great White Wall.
All that coral's really lavender.
lt looks white because it's so deep.
- You're a diver? - Yeah. Something like that.
l've never been able to interest Cynthia in diving.
She'd have to get her hair wet.
Let's get back to the party.
June!
- Hang on. June. - l'm OK. l'm OK.
Here.
- Here, take my hand. - No!
- What do you mean, ''no''? - l think l'll go for a swim.
l'm jumping in if you don't take my hand.
Randy? ls that you?
What's going on?
- What are you doing out here? - l was...
l swear...l can't take him anywhere.
Charles? Charles!
Check out the mermaid!
Charles Menlow-Scott, stop wandering away.
l'm watching the mermaid! But... But...
Randy!
- What are you doing here? - Making sure you're alive.
The last time l saw you, you were drowning in a tank.
l was about to become the featured attraction.
l had to make a quick getaway.
- You must be a good swimmer. - l was born underwater.
How did you know where l live?
Daryl told me. ls this a houseboat?
Yeah. Actually, it's a glass-bottom boat.
Figure if l lose my job, l can tap into the local tourist dollar.
You see that? There's something big out there.
You got a flashlight?
Yeah. Hold on.
June.
- We have to talk. - What are you doing here?
- Bad timing? - Yeah! l mean no. He's just a friend.
Go away.
- Diana! - We need you.
Just wait for me under the boat, all right?
Randy, l...can't find a flashlight.
lf you wanna check out the bay, you might wanna do it on your boat.
OK. Well...glad to see you're safe.
- Night, June. - Night.
- How did it happen? - Fisherman. How else?
This one used bombs and a gun. Shot him dead.
OK. Thanks for letting me know.
- Thanks? That's all you... - We were hoping you could help us.
- Help you? - She doesn't have it in her.
- Have what? - The need for revenge.
- l prefer ''justice''. - He was your father.
- He was the father who disowned me. - Deep breaths, everyone.
- You turned your back on him. - lt had nothing to do with him.
l left for me, to find out what l was missing.
ln through the nose, out of the mouth.
l didn't give him the Neptune treatment you did.
l gave my father the respect he deserved.
How about a sea shanty? l'll start.
Cape Cod girls ain't got no combs They brush their hair...
Please, Diana. You tried so hard to be the son he never had,
while Daddy's little pearl was kissing up to him.
Who slipped me into the mix? l'm the neutral observer.
Venus, you've been stuck in neutral your entire life.
- Sometimes you need to choose sides. - She's right.
This is why the three of us never get together.
l walked onshore for the first time today.
Venus only comes up for a good time.
You've been living with them for three years, June.
June...we need you.
Did you get the name of the boat?
- A Salt Weapon. - Yeah, l know it.
lt belongs to a guy named John Mallick. The rumour is he's dirty.
They're all dirty on land. l can't stand the smell of them.
Not that kind of dirty.
You said these things made walking easier.
Topside lesson number one: fashion means suffering.
The more it hurts, the better you look.
Stop staring! You're making me nervous.
What? l can't help it.
- You're all leggy. - Shut up.
You have no idea what women would do for those legs.
Men, too.
They itch and chafe. How do you stand this?
- Wait till the hair starts growing. - What?
There it is. Mallick's warehouse.
We don't have much time. Low tide's in 1 1 minutes.
- What happens then? - Goodbye, legs. Hello, tail.
At low tide, we lose our legs. They come back in the morning when the tide rises.
You're up.
lf you'll excuse me.
Good evening, Officer Cutie.
Can you tell me which warehouse belongs to Mallick?
We're closed for the night.
l'm not wearing any underwear.
You're... You're...
l...find it constricting.
- Which warehouse did you say it was? - Number 1 2.
My sisters and l need to break in.
Oh. OK.
- You know, you really are cute. - Venus.
OK. Siren says you won't remember any of this tomorrow.
Remember what?
Gotta go now. Bye.
Elaborate set-up for a small-time fisherman.
1 2.
Your turn.
This guy's so far over quota.
Oh, no!
l'll get Randy here in the morning.
The fines for what Mallick's got will bankrupt him.
- He may even get some jail time. - Some jail time?
- Told you she wouldn't help us. - He murdered our father.
Yeah, but we have to prove that in court and we can't.
That's the way it works up here. What do you two expect from me?
Nothing, June, nothing at all.
lt's almost low tide. Let's get to the water.
Still picking up after my sisters.
- Let's get 'em in the freezer. - OK!
What the heck happened here?
Oh, no, not now!
- What's going on, man? - Keep unloading.
Let's get on with it.
OK. Low tide is at 8.02 tonight.
l am never staying here. You're supposed to have clothes l wanna steal.
Where is Diana?
- Sleeping with the fishies. - What? l gave you guys my bed.
She couldn't master the mattress concept.
l gotta say... floating is much easier on the back.
- ls she still mad? - You know Diana.
Still mad.
Mallick! Where are you?
- Hey, are we going out today or what? - What?
- Can l help you? - Maybe.
- What have you got on mermaids? - Let me see.
l call this my mermaid grotto.
Guess you could say l'm mad for mermaids.
- Why is that? - Look at her.
Part human, part animal, part goddess.
Put that together and you've got pure magic.
- Are they real? - Don't tease me.
There've been mermaid sightings.
People wanna believe in the wonder,
but they're always explained away as a manatee, maybe a walrus.
You didn't answer my question. Are they real?
Let's just say l've always been on the lookout myself.
lf you believe the legends, mermaids have the power to find lost treasures.
Really? Now, why would a mermaid want to make you rich?
She wouldn't have a choice.
lf you find a mermaid, she's bound by magic to grant you one wish.
Any wish.
lf l ask a mermaid to do something for me, she's gotta do it, no matter what?
- Yes. But don't tell anyone l told you. - Oh, l won't.
l'll have every book you've got on mermaids.
Hello? ls anyone here?
- Now, look, the freezer was empty. - lt was full last night.
- Yeah. We saw it. - Saw it?
- You said the tip was anonymous. - Did l say that?
Do you need to see the fish to know that they were there?
l can smell the stench of death from here!
Where did you say your sisters are from?
Uh...Finland.
l believe you. The place was cleared out in a hurry.
- But without evidence... - ls there nothing you can do?
l can keep my eye out for Mallick while l'm on patrol.
ln the meantime, back off, OK?
l don't wanna see anyone charged with breaking and entering.
- Fish hooks! He hates me! - He didn't even notice you.
Now we wait for Fish Patrol to get lucky?
He is not Fish Patrol, he's a law enforcement officer.
He's got until the end of the day. Then l deal with Mallick my way.
Would you look after Diana today?
She doesn't know her way above sea level.
- Can't. l've got a show in three hours. - What show?
- Venus works in a fish tank. - l'm an aquatic dancer.
Since when? You never worked in your life and...
- Hey, girls, what's jiggling? - Oh, no.
Look down and keep walking.
l sure wish you three beauty queens would wash my boat.
Was that a wish? Did he make a wish?
Tragically, yes.
There's a spot right there. You missed that spot.
This is why mermaids should never come on land.
Make sure you put that on your tab.
Wouldn't wanna cheat you out of a cup of coffee.
- You'll never find it, you know. - Earl.
- l need some time off work, OK? - ls that all?
Why didn't you ask me instead of breaking into my office?
Let's just say l find you less than a generous soul.
What do you want time off for?
My father was killed, if you must know.
You almost got me! The thought of you having a father. What a pisser!
What was he? A codfish? A grouper?
This place was a dump until l got in that tank for you!
Now you make money faster than you can count it.
- You owe me. - Well...now look at you.
All puffed up like your opinion matters. l own you. And l owe you nothin'.
How can you do it? How can you treat a person like a slave?
You're only half a person. And half a freak.
- Get out of my office. - l hate you.
l hate you with every fibre of my body.
Wait. l've just decided to add a new work shift.
Give our morning crowd live entertainment.
Off you go. Put your tail on. Now.
- What were you doing in there? - This is really a bad time, Betty.
l told you my husband can't resist temptation.
- What kind of person do you think l am? - Mom?
Tessa! You're gonna be late to school.
- Come on, l'll give you a ride. - See ya.
- This is the spot we hit yesterday. - l know. We're going diving.
- Diving? Diving for what? - Bait.
- Mermaid bait. - No way!
l don't know what that thing was, but l don't ever wanna see one again.
What about money? You wanna see money?
More money than blowing up a 1 ,000 reefs.
Suit up.
You wouldn't know to look at me,
but l can bench-press more than guys twice my size.
- You wanna know why? - Not really.
Well...l'm a short man.
Short fulcrum, more power. lt's basic physics.
Those muscleheads don't understand. They think l'm on 'roids.
- What's a 'roid? - Steroids.
Pumps up muscle. Turns men into monsters.
Monsters? l fought a hydra once.
lt's true what they say. l cut off one of the heads, three more grew back.
You're a freaky chick.
- Venus isn't coming back to help us. - Why not?
She couldn't get off work. She sounded upset.
Would you put the dolphins in the pen?
l think your sister likes me. Will that create a problem between you and me?
- l won't let it. - Why wouldn't Venus just quit?
- You know how she felt about Dad. - Yeah, he controlled the tides.
Since when does Venus work? She's such a princess.
D'you think there's something else keeping her at the job?
Oh, no.
What?
Come here.
Venus's boss has her pearl tiara.
- That's just a myth. - No, it's not!
When a mortal steals the object that represents our magic,
we are under his control.
- We do not belong up here. - Please don't make this about us.
We need to find that tiara and get Venus out of there.
Speaking of powers, we could use yours if you still have it.
Of course l do.
OK.
Show me what l need to see to save the soul l love.
That was supposed to show us a tiara. l didn't see a tiara.
The mirror shows what it wants to. Somebody's gonna drown.
''The soul l love'', to use your exact words.
- Oh, no! - What are you doing?
- You can't run out on us now! - l'll meet up with you later.
Hello? Anyone aboard?
Mallick?
- You sure did it this time, Mallick. - No, we did it.
l'm building a sandcastle.
l see that.
Did you see who dragged me to shore?
Can you tell me who it was?
- Can you tell me now? - lt's a secret.
- SpongeBob SquarePants. - Emily!
Come on, honey.
Time to go home.
Randy. Did you find Mallick?
l found his boat. Right before l fell off it.
- l must have been hit by loose rigging. - Ouch.
- Are you OK? - Considering l should be fish food.
l was knocked out cold. Somebody pulled me to shore.
- Really? Who? - l'd give anything to know.
l called Mallick in case it was him. He was diving at the time.
- What happened with your boat? - Fishing guy found it adrift.
- You been for another swim? - No. Why?
Your hair's wet.
Oh, l...didn't have a chance to blow-dry it this morning.
Randy?
l gotta go.
We should get together later and talk about Mallick.
OK. What about tonight? We can grab dinner. Around six?
Yeah. That'd be great.
What on earth have you been doing?
Let's just say this story will turn your local rag into a national sensation.
l can't tell it yet, you'd never believe me.
Meet me at the old fish cannery on the south pier. Bring your camera.
- Done? - Yeah, it's chilling.
Mom, if you don't like working in the bar, don't.
Dad'll just have to do.
Venus, l want you to meet my daughter Tessa.
- Hey, Tessa. - l've been watching you. You're good.
You should have seen my mom in that tank. Just like the real thing.
l heard your mother was the best that ever was.
- l gotta go. Nice meeting you, Tessa. - You too.
Girlfish! Coming to see my show?
l'd rather bash my head on a rock.
- Where's June? - Taking care of herself.
- l knew l couldn't leave you two alone. - Why did you?
Because l have a very promising career as an aquatic dancer.
l don't have time for this. l need to get back to Mallick.
- l know you're protecting your boss. - You do?
- l'm gonna find that tiara. - Oh, thank you!
- You're my goddess, my protectress! - You want me to find it?
Of course.
He ordered me not to tell anyone. l'm under magic control. l had to obey.
Where is he?
Go away.
- How did you do that? - 'Roids.
You the one who put my sister in a fish tank?
Get out of here.
Your sister? l can't believe l didn't spot it in the bar last night.
l'm something of an expert on marine life.
- You know why l'm here. Where is it? - Feisty.
l'll ask one more time. Where is it?
You must be talking about the tiara.
l found it when l was diving. lt's what brought me and Venus together.
l know each of you gets one of these magic doodads at birth, so...
...where's yours?
The two of you would look sweet in the tank together.
Get a little sister-action going.
- You want my birthright? - l do.
- Don't hurt me! - Stop embarrassing yourself.
- Where's the pearl tiara? - l destroyed it.
Wait!
lt's in the hula-girl lamp.
- This doesn't belong to Venus. - Take the tiara.
Not the shell. Please leave the shell.
You're lucky l'm leaving you with your life.
- This better be good. - lt's better than good.
lt's front-page material.
We got our story for tomorrow.
We'll see. What do you know about the merfolk?
You mean that nudist camp?
l'm talking mermaids; half fish, half human. l've got one.
l got a chicken with two heads.
You got room on your front page now?
You won my freedom, my right to choose.
Without it, l was a slave. A suffragette. A maid with no mer.
With freedom comes responsibility. Wear it at all times.
- You are kidding. - lt denotes royalty.
lt denotes dork.
Daddy gave June a mirror, something every girl needs.
You got a superhero action comb.
l get stuck with an oyster headdress. lt's so unfair.
Don't leave it on the ocean floor again, OK?
Look what else your boss had.
- A listening ear? - Any idea who it belongs to?
- That slimeball. Wait here. - We need to get going.
l won't be long.
That's her! Right there! That's her!
- What do you want? - l'm leaving.
- You won't see me again. - Good!
l've something to give you.
Take it. Please.
Just take it.
l knew it.
Such a beautiful chorus!
- Can you hear it? - All the time.
- How'd you know? - You're too smart to be with him.
Earl's had me under his control for so long, l...
...l forgot who l was.
Who you are is cool. And this green hair is working for you.
lt's very '80s.
What are you waiting for? You're free!
Go, jump in the sea. Don't look back.
l can't keep this.
What? l don't understand.
l have a home here. A daughter. l can't go back.
And l don't want to.
Life as a mermaid, it was lonely. l remember that.
- What about Earl? - He's out the door.
Tessa and l will find a way to make it on our own.
But only if you keep this safe.
- l don't understand. - Maybe one day you will.
lf you're very, very lucky.
lf you wanna say goodbye to the best thing that ever happened to you, hurry.
- l got nothin' to say to you. - l'm not talking about me.
For the coffee. And by the way...kiss my tiara.
Excuse me. Have you seen a girl? Tall, pretty, fierce look in her eye?
Yeah. Seeing as l'm the one whose truck she stole.
''Borrowed'' is the keyword here.
- What's the word for having totalled it? - She's sorry?
She will be. Your crazy friend is in jail.
There's a man out there who shot my father and l'm in jail for crashing a car?
- lt was just a car! - lt just wasn't your car.
- Give me that! - No sharp objects in the cell.
- What's this made of? lt's heavy. - Put it down.
Who the hell are you?
- You'll find out in about an hour. - What's in an hour?
Low tide.
- My favourite restaurant. - l can't wait to see what that is.
Oh! Great!
l read about this place.
They serve prosciutto-wrapped monkfish with a cumin-coriander crust.
Thanks for coming here. l haven't been to Harry's in years.
l wanted to pay a visit before they turn it into a Starbucks.
Thanks.
- Please. l love places like this. - lt's not Cynthia's style.
She's got a lot of that, you know. Style.
Why is this your favourite restaurant?
l used to come here when l was a kid. Me and my dad, every Friday night.
lt was a ritual, you know. l miss it.
Yeah, my dad and l used to go out for seafood.
But he used the time to tell me how disappointed he was with me.
- What did he want from you? - To be more like him.
Strong, independent, not needing anyone.
- Do you need someone? - We all need someone.
l used to travel a lot, to places most people only dream of.
One day l had to stop, because all the beauty in the universe
means nothing without a partner to share your discoveries with.
Sorry. l'm not usually like this.
Why not?
You know, l was supposed to go out with Cynthia tonight.
l had dinner reservations and everything.
So, why are you here?
Because...l was in the mood for dinner at Harry's tonight.
- A weapon? - Yeah, Bob, a weapon.
Like a pitchfork. But this one folds into a...
Never mind. Let me send it to you guys for analysis.
Bob, let me get back to you.
l've been a bad girl, officer.
- Hello? - Bad? How bad?
Very bad.
l need you to punish me.
Right after you tell Bob you were mistaken.
- Go ahead. ''l was mistaken, Bob.'' - l was mistaken, Bob.
- There is no weapon. - There is no weapon.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.
You know what turns me on more than anything?
What?
A man in a cage.
- You're tired, sweetie. - l am tired.
- There's a cot. - l think l might lie down.
And forget all about us.
Goodnight.
Seven minutes to reach the sea.
- Stupid legs! - Now is a good time to learn to run.
l feel ridiculous. Everything's bouncing.
lt's called gravity. Get used to it. This way.
- Now what? - Don't worry. Men can't resist me.
One problem there, sis.
What are you girls doing by that car?
Admiring the paint job. lt's beautiful.
- Step away. - Do your blue whale.
-You're always bragging about it. - l won't ask again. Move away...
Then l met Cynthia.
You know her, she's so full of life.
She just drew me in.
- So you came to shore. - That's exactly right.
- Did you find what you were looking for? - l think so.
But not in Cynthia.
- Ow! - You OK?
Yeah. Uh, no. No. What time is it?
- Almost eight. - Oh, no!
- What's the matter? - l need water fast.
l'll get you some. Oh, sorry!
- Did l get your foot? - No, not exactly.
Water ahoy.
There's a fence in the way.
- l see it. l can't stop. - Why?
No feet. Hold on!
So this mermaid Betty gave you this so she could stay on land?
She also gave up green locks, pouty lips and cheekbones of a supermodel.
How popular would that girl be with the only mermaid mom!
- She found it. - Found what?
- A soul. - Oh, please!
- Let her talk. - We live a long time, then we're gone.
Their souls live on after their bodies turn to dust.
- How did Betty get one? - Her daughter's part mortal.
When you love a mortal who loves you,
- you share their soul. - Stop! Those are stories!
- Handed down by our ancestors. - Who couldn't accept the finality of life,
so they created fantasies. That's all they are, fantasies.
Maybe you're right. Maybe that is all they are.
- But explain this. - Let's get back to business.
Did Fish Patrol arrest Mallick?
Randy is fine, thanks for asking.
But no, he didn't have a chance to catch Mallick.
- That's it, then. - Where are you going?
Where do you think? To take things into her own hands.
Just like she always does.
- What are you gonna do? - Whatever it takes.
- Kill him? - Whatever it takes.
- ls that what you want? - l wanna leave this place. l hate it.
l want revenge for my father and then l wanna go home.
l just wanna go home.
Oh, my God!
- Where is he? - Three! l had no idea.
You're the strong one, we've established that.
- Where is our father? - Oh, my trophy fish. l can't tell you.
You know what l wish?
That's right, l have a wish.
And that puts you...in my service.
You didn't think l'd be stupid enough to lure you here without a plan?
l just hope your plan includes...
... velvet ropes and a black leather harness.
'Cause l love to be tied up.
You must be a siren.
That's right, l've done my research.
Your mojo doesn't work on somebody who knows what you are.
Take a good look. This is the last time you're ever gonna see this body.
Don't be sure. l haven't made my wish.
Enough playing around.
l want you to find me a treasure. That's my wish.
l wish for a treasure worth a fortune.
l want it in two hours at the old cannery on the south pier.
You can't grant my wish if l'm dead. Find me some treasure.
Maybe we just ignore it.
The more you try to fight it, the more the desire to fulfil the wish consumes you.
He killed my father and all l think about is making him rich.
Still think we belong up here, June?
Mallick wanted us to meet him in two hours, right?
- We don't all have to go get the treasure. - You have a plan?
- l think l might. - lt's about time.
Hey! What can l do for you?
- Let's go. - What the hell are you doing?
You're going in the water.
Salty.
Can't believe how fast l can move up here.
Come on!
So...
So these things aren't so useless after all.
l didn't kill him, OK?
- lt was Mallick! - l know!
l was breathing underwater. l was breathing how?
l was holding onto you. Good thing l have a strong grip.
l can't get to the surface!
- l'm counting on that. - What are you going to do?
- Tell me where my father's body is. - Mallick will kill me.
Then we have nothing else to talk about.
Please! Wait! Please! Please!
There's an abandoned cannery on the south pier.
The body's in a locker in the salting room.
You're gonna leave this town.
lf l ever see you again,
l'll bring you back here and l will leave you.
Do you hate me?
Why would l hate you?
You ran out on me, but it doesn't invoke hate.
We have evidence against Mallick.
- More dead fish? - No. A dead body.
What's your game, June?
You want Mallick, that's obvious. A dead body? Go to the police.
They wouldn't believe me.
Yeah, well, neither do l.
Randy, wait. There's a reason for my behaviour, OK?
l wanna share it with you, but l can't now because you'd think l was crazy
and if you thought that, then... you'd never...
Would never what?
Nothing.
What would l never do?
- Sweep me off my feet. - You mean like this?
- Uh-oh. - What's the matter?
We need to talk.
- l can't believe you're OK with this. - OK with it?
l'm kissing a primal fantasy from my boyhood dreams. Trust me, l'm fine.
l was always afraid the thought of kissing a fish might gross you out.
Yeah, if the top half of you turned into a fish, it might.
- That never happens, does it? - No.
- Hello. - l struck gold and Diana's found Daddy.
- Everything's set. - Where'd she find him?
- ln the old cannery. - Perfect.
June, where are you?
Hello?
- You're supposed to be here. - Yeah, l...had a situation.
- Randy saw my tail. - ls that gonna create a problem for us?
Not for you, but it's creating trouble for me!
- June's in trouble. Randy saw her tail. - Oh, no!
- Will he help us? - Yeah.
Meet us in the fish cannery in half an hour.
- What do we do about Randy? - Don't worry about Randy.
l'll take care of him.
Put it down.
Amazing!
- Not so fast. - Sorry. One wish per customer.
My wishes have just started.
This gold will be the seed money for my empire.
- Empire? - l mean an entertainment empire.
Follow me.
Hands down. That's better.
Come with me. l see a floating theme park.
Lots of cheap crap to sell. The world's gonna know who you are.
- A tank? - You gotta be joking.
'Fraid not. Get in the tank.
Randy, you can come in now.
Detective Waters. Homicide.
You have permission to be on these premises?
There's been no homicide, Detective.
These ladies here say you've been storing a body.
The body of a sea creature. l shot it. Read the paper today?
Yeah, l read it. Now show me what you've got.
- You shot this man? - Not a man. Merman.
- He's hardly human. - Not from where l'm standing.
He's dry! Where's the ice?
This is the way l found his body.
She dried him out!
A mermaid's tail turns to legs when it's dry, even when it's dead.
Fascinating. Let's go to my office and you can tell me more.
l'll show you. All l've got to do is throw water on it.
On the ground! Face down.
- l'll just prove it to you! - Face down. On the ground.
Show some respect for these girls. That's their father.
They are not girls. They are mermaids!
Get up!
- OK, this is a crime scene now. - The thing's got a tail!
lt may be dead, but its magic isn't! l'll prove it! All you have to...
- Get a bucket... - How did you know it would work?
Self-preservation of the species. Can't leave traces behind.
What are you gonna do with him now?
Return him to the ocean.
His body will transform into foam on the water.
Where the sun will lift him up.
So the rain can spread him across the sea.
And then he'll be gone. Forever.
How did she do that?
Pilates. Thanks for your help.
- Any time. - Randy!
Oh, hey, Junie.
Junie?
We can't keep it. We're forbidden from treasure hunting for personal wealth.
That's the beauty. We didn't get it for us, we got it for a killer.
- He can't use it where he's going. - Wrong is wrong.
- June, what do you think? - June?
What?
l'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Randy.
One minute we're kissing, the next he's calling me Junie.
- Did you say...kissing? - l have been dying to tell you guys!
l've found him. My soulmate.
Randy and l, we connected on this spiritual level.
Then he saw my tail and... it didn't matter to him.
He still wanted me. l've found my soulmate!
- So when you said you were in trouble... - What's going on?
We were just trying to protect you.
- What did you do? - l gave him...the siren treatment.
What? Wait... How much did you make him forget?
Not much. Just the time you spent together since yesterday.
OK. Just a little further.
- Now...stop. - Take your blindfold off.
- What's this? - The coolest place to eat!
Your soon-to-be ex-husband agreed to sell it,
with a little bit of prompting from my older sister Diana. Come on!
- l don't understand! - What's to understand? lt's yours.
Ours, actually. We're partners.
- l came into a lot of money. - Catch of the day.
- Where d'you want it? - You or the fish?
l'll just put it in the kitchen.
- So, what do you think? - l think it's a dream come true.
- Why would you do this for me? - l have no idea.
But when l do, l'll let you know.
You bought that old houseboat? Why?
lt's on the water. Easy ocean access. And you've seen the central living space.
- There's plenty of room for three. - What do you mean, three?
l decided to stay onshore and do a little soul searching.
- We were hoping you'd join us. - What do you have to go back to?
- Daddy's gone. - D'you wanna swim alone forever?
- No home. - Not fully woman or fish.
- So you can die and water the planet? - You haven't thought this through.
One mermaid can hide on land, but three? Word will spread.
You'll have the entire magic realm at your door.
- Every brownie, bogey, banshee... - Oh, my.
Each one with a wish. Not to mention mortals and their desires.
- So l guess you don't wanna stay. - You're right. l don't.
- Oh! Hey, girls. - Randy. Hi.
- What are you doing here? - Heard there's a new seafood joint.
- Thought l'd check it out. - l can't understand why. lt's so nautical.
Randy likes seafood. lt was a Friday night ritual with his dad.
How did you know that?
As long as we're here, we may as well celebrate.
Celebrate what?
- Nice ice. - l know. l picked it out.
- You're... - Engaged. l proposed last night.
l'm a lucky man.
- Well, there goes my soulmate. - Don't worry. This isn't over yet.
lt is for you. You're going back to the sea.
- What gave you that idea? - You just said...
That l don't wanna stay on land. And l don't.
l'm the oldest and Dad did ask me to look after you two after he was gone.
Oh, my God! You're staying? She's staying!
- Just until l know you two are OK. - Thanks, Diana.
OK. Now, if you'll just sign right here.
- Beautiful day, isn't it? - l'll say.
A day like this should be spent lying on some beach on a deserted island.
l wish.
Venus, he just made a wish.
l know. lt works every time.
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