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Mrtav Ladan

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FROZEN STIFF
Well? Is he alive?
God, he can't be...!
I am sorry.
Didn't I ask you to keep him alive until I come?
Didn't I tell you... Goddam!
Please accept my condolences. - Screw the condolences!
You take MY condolences! What am I to do now?
What should I do? Yo, doctor, come out!
Will this be enough to get him made up and dressed?
Sure, you just have to bring the suit...
You see we can't buy clothes for all the deceased. - Yeah, sure.
Look at just have to make a phone call,
and I'll be right back. - All right,
I have too check something out, I'll be back too. - Right.
Why doesn't the jerk pick up the phone, Goddamn!
Hello?!
Where the fuck were you, jerk?
Fuck! I've been untying myself from a radiator!
So, Ronny dropped by!
I've been through hell and back
The whole world I've come to know,
I drank a glass of poison black
The bitter life I've come to know.
Bayou, where are you?
Tell that scumbag Tin man that I'm gonna recycle him!
I don't care who he owes money to!
Yeah, right...!
Where was I...?
"The bitter life I've come to know." -Yeah!
The bitter life I've come to know.
All that is and that might be Is not unknown to me!
All that happens I'll take my turn!!!
Nah, I tied myself 'cause I was bored...
Sure he dropped by! I told him our granddad died
and that we gotta bury him. No way, the man wants
the money back in three days, otherwise he'II...
Look, bro, if it's gonna make things easier for you,
grandpa really croaked.
Croaked, grandpa... Yeah, croaked!
Your grandfather died, you asshole!
You're shittin' me?! - I'm not shittin'...
You called dad?
Nah, you did! The funeral is the day after tomorrow,
we got get there by then, otherwise dad is gonna
string us up by our balls on the main square.
That's precisely how he put it. Pardon, ma'am.
What a coincidence, that's exactly what I told Ronny.
Fuck Ronny, we gotta get granddad a suit.
Why a suit?
We can't put him naked in the casket...
By the way we have to find the money to get one.
Why did you have to bet so much, you idiot!
Stay cool, I'll take care of that. I'll find one.
Wait for me at the morgue, I'm coming right over. Stay put.
I'll stay put...
Hey, doc, is there a bar around here? - A bar? Sure...
Let's go and have a drink.
Shit, there goes my only business suit.
It's you I've been waiting for?
Well, I couldn't make the appointment myself.
You owe me money. A lot of money.
Yeah, a lot. I'm on my way to pick up some dough from a man.
I unloaded some golden trinkets. - Sweet kid.
Anna. Anna say hello to the nice man.
Say good bye to the nice man. Bye-bye! - Bye-bye.
Hey, Tin Man don't be like that. I just wanted to...
What did you want? To get some for free?
Not for free, I swear. Just give me a half so I can
pull myself together. Can't you see I'm on the edge?
Did you see a charity sign when you passed by the entrance?
I didn't. - Go to the Red Cross and tell them:
"I'm a junkie, please give a little heroine". Go on, scram!
Don't be like that...
What do they call me? - Tin Man.
And why is that? - 'Cause you don't have a heart.
Well? - You're not really like that.
I'm even worse. - Right! What am I supposed to do now?
I don't give a flying fuck, 'bout what you're gonna do!
Get off the dope the hard way. Maybe you'll wise-up!
You have a kid, stupid! - Are you preaching to me now?!
You gotta.
C'mon, Tin Man don't be like that. Gimme some, please.
I'll do anything you ask. - I just want my money...
If you got the dough, give it here, otherwise get lost.
Give me just a quarter to pull myself together.
I'll bring you the money, I swear on this child's life. Please...
Are you crazy?! Get up, someone might see us! Get real!
Give me some... - Get lost!
Look, if you don't trust me, I'll leave the kid with you
until I get back.
If you don't get back I'll sell her of to the white slavers.
I'll be back, don't you worry. Hell, I'm her mother. I love her.
You're not a mother, you're a junkie.
Look, it's your lucky day. I'm in a very good mood.
Nice day, ain't it?
I got laid tonight. What a chick! Incredible!
You know what my horoscope says today?
That my life will change. Now get lost!
Mommy doesn't feel good, but now she's gone to get fixed
and she's gonna be alright.
Wanna soda? - No.
Wanna candy? - No.
Do you want... - I don't.
I didn't say nothin'. - Anyway, I don't want one.
Give me my grandpa, please!
Well I don't know... It's not proper...
Listen... We're like... Jehovah's Witnesses. - So?
Well, according to our customs...
The dead have to walk home? - Nah...
That's a good one, though!
According to our rules, the dead can't be laid
in the casket before a service in our church.
I thought that Jehovah's Witnesses don't drink.
It figures! You know nothing about the alternative
religious communities. It's a traditon with us too.
To make a toast for the soul of the deceased.
Okay, but we've been toasting for half an hour now!
Yeah... It's gotta be done at least seven times. - Really?
Yeah... yeah. - I didn't know that. - Now you know.
And the Trinity? - Yeah... That to... Cheers.
Cheers!
Is this the morgue? You drunken pig!
Look Sir, it's your tradition we honored...
What tradition are you talkin' about?
Well, Jehovah's Witnesses.
What fuckin' witnesses are you talkin' about?
Oh, you meant us? Yeah, that's right. Sure, right...
What tradition did you have in mind?
Our grandpa now looks like a pimp!
Listen, let's not get offensive here. Fist of all,
this was my only business suit, and secondly, don't come near me,
cause you stink of booze a mile away!
Well I had to get him drunk.
No one normal would let us take a dead man out of the morgue...
Hold on, where are you going? - Well, to drive...
To drive in such a state?! Have you completely lost it?
If you were to blow the breathalyzer,
the cop would think you're some kind of a medical freak!
Sit in the back and hold grandpa upright.
If the cops make us pull over... Hey are you listening to me?
If the cops stop us, it will look like you two both got drunk,
and grandpa is sleeping it off. Where to?! Sit here!
You're not gonna tell me how old you are? - No!
I wonder where's that mother of yours...
Yo, Tin Man whatchya doin'? - Hey, girls!
Is that your kid? - No way.
Dad, I'm thirsty! - She's so sweet!
I didn't know you were married! - It's not what you think...
Come over? - Nah, I gotta nurse my kid.
Ciao!
Are you out of your mind? Now they're gonna tell everybody!
Why did you call me "dad"? - 'Cause it's funny.
Well it is funny.
I'm thirsty. - Right!
And I'm hungry. - You got it!
And I have to pee! - Okay... Hey, Bob!
What's wrong with it?
Well, when I was up at the hospital,
I kinda hit this garbage container
and somethin' started smokin' in there. - Really?
Why did you run into the container?
Because I was in a rush to get to him while he's alive!
As if you fuckin' loved him that much!
I didn't, but the old jerk... Sorry grandpa...
He didn't tell me where he hid the life insurance.
Why didn't you ask me? - You got it?
No, but I know where it is. Listen, lets talk serious here.
We won't tell dad about it.
We'll cash in on the insurance, bury grandpa and pay back Ronny!
Bob, come over here!
Yes please? We're about to close so if you'd like anything else...
No, no, I just wanna ask you something. - Please, do.
Is it normal for a kid of her age
to eat two pizzas and drink ten sodas? - Eleven sodas!
O.K. Eleven, no problem. Anyway, is it normal?
Well kids grow, and develop. They need energy.
I'm kinda worried. I wouldn't want her to get sick.
You see, I know nothing about these things.
I only had a turtle once. You have kids, I guess?
Thank God, my kids don't eat that much.
If I were to skim three times as much as I do...
I don't know what to do. Her mother isn't coming back.
And we're closing. - Yeah, I know.
Anna, are you alright? You wanna go home?
I'm fine right here!
I know, but they're closing now and we have to go.
C'mon, tell me where you live. - No.
Bob, sit here and keep her company for a moment.
Sure, Mr. Tin Man.
Look that's half a kilo. First cut. Pure.
I'll bring it over to you tomorrow.
Shit, I know that Crazy Ronny is gonna kill me.
Listen, if you don't tell me your address right now,
I'll drag you to the toilet and drown you in the john!
I know he's crazy. I know he wants to kill me,
but I'll be bringing it to you tomorrow. I promise.
Trust me. C'mon, cool it.
Is that clear?
No. 9 Dragon Street. Fifth floor.
How did you get it from her? - Pedagogy, experience.
Bravo Bob, bravo! C'mon kid, let's get outta here. Get up!
Bob put this on the tab. - Naturally, Mr. Tin Man.
What now, my wise-ass brother? - Nothin' brother, we're going home.
You want me to sleep with a corpse? No way!
I won't put it into your bed, you stupid!
Out of the question!
What else can we do? Leave him in the car, ehi?
With our luck someone is gonna steal the car
with everything that's inside,
and you know what dad is gonna do to us then... - I know!
Hang us by the balls in the middle of town square!
Hey, come over here.
What will we do tomorrow? - We'll think of something.
That is what I was afraid of.
Good evening, ma'am.
Grandpa, you really shouldn't have gotten this drunk...
Yeah! At your age! You should be ashamed.
Do you have your set of keys? - No.
Maybe some of the neighbors has the spare key? - No.
Listen...
Stay here. You stay there and wait for mom.
I'll come back in a little while.
I don't trust you! You want to run away!
What are we to do, the two of us? - I have to pee.
Let's go to my place. I'll bring you back here tomorrow.
Do you have grandparents? - A-ha!
Where do they live? - In Grainburg. - Great!
Let's go. I'll take you to your grandparents tomorrow. Okay?
I feel sick. - I'll take that as a sign of approval.
I feel sick! Like throwing up!
Here, now you can throw up. - I don't want to now! - Okay...
Somebody is ratting on me. Where are we gonna sleep tonight, kid?
I have to pee. - So, take a pee.
I can't you'll be watching. - Go upstairs and pee. Go on up!
Adela has gotten married. Where do we go to sleep?
This we'll throw out.
Hey, here's Sandy. With Sandy everything is dandy!
There's some man up there. He's yelling.
Hooba!
Come over here! Get back! Get over here if you dare.
Is that the way to bring up a child, you asshole!
Shut up... you goddam faggot you!
You'll wake up the entire neighborhood, you stupid!
Don't draw so much attention... Damn, you stink of booze!
It's the piss that stinks, not me!
I know that I'm a heartless pig, as you once called me.
Life is hard and makes us that way.
But if you scratch a little bit under the surface of a harshness
and ruthless guy, which is my act, I admit,
you will find a romantic soul, a poet of the pavement and bars...
And above all you will find a frightened child
that needs warmth and affection. - I knew it's me you love...
Listen... I really had so many women in my life,
but you're the first I'm opening up to.
This child isn't mine at all. It's a long story. I'll explain.
Doesn't he look a little too pale?
Hey, don't overdo it. It's not like grandpa was a faggot.
But he isn't alive either. It's better if he looks like
a faggot than like a corpse. Sorry, grandpa.
People all around our grandpa, but no one can wake him.
As he rides the train, things are happenin'.
His suit is quite old-fashioned, his shoes are oversized.
Two guys drag him around, but he's still a frozen stiff.
No one asks him, where'd he like to go
against his will he fell into a field...
Hey, this is the insurance policy! - Give it back to him.
The best place to hide things is in the pocket.
No one will look for it there, especially not dad.
Can you count? Look! One, two, three, four... Four zeroes, man!
Right. Then grand or a grand... What's the difference?
Ten thousand Euro! - Lf we bury him... I got it! - What?
The train! - What?! - The train! - The train?!
Damn, the kid woke up! - I can hear.
What is she doing in the kitchen?
Damn that kid! - Shut up...
Fuck...! Why don't you turn the TV on, sweetie?
I'm afraid of being alone.
C'mon, get out of the room. - No! What are you doing?
Well, nothing. - Lf you're doing nothing,
can I do nothing with you? - No you can't! - Why not?
Well not before you grow up... - Why not now?
You just can't! Get out!
Sorry I yelled at you.
C'mon, let's go.
Ciao.
Call me when you come back! - Yeah... Sure!
Your ID please! - Certainly. Sweetie, hold this.
Mister, are you gonna beat him now? - No. Did he deserve it?
You know how it is, kid's birthday.
Yeah... Here, let me hold it. - Here, I even have a ribbon.
Here you are. - Thank you.
Here you are, sweetie. - Thank you so much.
Don't mention it. - Good bye.
Hey sis, move over a little...
First of all I'm no "sister" of yours... you scum.
Secondly, this is my seat, I have a reservation.
That's quite alright madam, but I would appreciate
if you could move your suitcase. - No, I could not!
It might fall on someone! - Well, I don't care.
It's certainly a bother for this gentleman. Sir...
Yo, don't you wake up my grandpa, I'll rip your head of!
Sorry, my brother is young and rash.
What he wanted to say is that our grandfather
has an uncommon disease and if he were to wake up suddenly
his heart might stop. You wouldn't want him to die?
Is this seat taken? Hello! Did someone die here or what?
No, it's not taken. Sit down. Hey, what a sweet little girl.
Hey, what are you doing, sweetie? What's your name?
I won't tell you, baldy.
Whose trunk is this? - The old bat's. - Madam's.
It's mine! What do you want? - Why don't you put it aside.
It might fall on someone. - Yes, I told her that too.
Shut up, skinny. I don't want to move it and that's that!
But this man is sitting right under it. Hey, sir... - No!!!
Look, bro, you're the only one I didn't tell.
Don't try to wake him, even if the compartment is on fire!
Why? - He has a condition.
He looks dead to me.
These gentlemen are his grandsons.
I apologise. - Never mind...
I know this guy from somewhere.
Wha'? - "What" yourself!
Will we ever get going? - I guess.
Is this seat taken? - Yes, it's this gentleman's seat.
No, please take it.
But I just wanted to leave my bag... - So leave it.
What a flirt!
Shut up, old hag. The girl looks great!
Thank God!
Let her sleep. I'll just step outside.
Want a cigarette? - No thank you.
Want to sit down? - No, I'm fine like this.
Look, I can stand, no problem. - Just you sit, Sir.
What is this "Sir" about. I'm not that old.
Sorry, I was raised that way.
Look, let's get one thing straight. You don't call me Sir,
and you can ask anything you want from me.
Well, for a start... What's your name? I'm Maya.
Hello, Maya.
You look like a mighty fine girl. A country girl?
No, I'm from the city.
I guess you went to all the fine schools? - You could say so.
And probably had piano lessons. - No, I went to ballet.
Mhm, to ballet.
And where are you going, if it's not too much to ask?
To Grainburg. - Really? I'm going to Grainburg too.
Really? - Actually, we are going to Grainburg.
My boyfriend is in the army there.
I'm taking the kid to the grandparents.
Your daughter? She's sweet. - No, she's not my daughter.
Don't tell me she's your sister. - She isn't my sister either.
It's a long story. - Well, we have time.
Excuse me just a second.
Hey, bro, did they go away? - They did.
And the girl? - She's cool.
Tickets please!
Here. And for our granddad.
Hey, is there a snack-bar on this train?
There is, two coaches back. - Great!
Hey, where are you heading? - To the bar.
And I'm supposed to watch over grandpa, am I?
Well, if you don't mind. - Hey, Mike!
You go off too. We won't bother him.
Are you sure? - Sure! - Thank you.
Come, sit here. Those two won't be back soon.
Hey, fella, got any cognac? - Naturally. - Two, then.
Two for him and two more for me. So you decided to come.
You imbecile, I've come to stop you from getting drunk.
Did you forget the what we are supposed to do?
What are you lookin' at?
O.K. We'll have just one drink and than we go back.
That guy with the kid... I know him from somewhere.
I just can't remember where from...
The guy with the kid. - What guy?
Oh, I'm sorry Sir... I mean, I'm sorry.
Your hand has gone numb? - No way. Just you lie back...
I've had enough. Where are we? - No idea.
We're just going straight. It's all flat and boring.
What do you do in life, Maya? - I study languages. And you?
Nothing... Actually I'm in commerce.
Wanna get a cup of coffee?
I'm not hitting on you I just hate to drink coffee alone.
Well, okay. - Let's go.
Cheers! - Yeah, cheers.
Hey, how is grandpa? - O.K. He's asleep.
Asleep. - Yes.
He didn't wake up, did he? - No he didn't. - Good.
Shut up you stupid... You're crazy! Cheers!
Cheers. - Cheers brother! - Let me order.
How are we to make a toast when you can't see a thing?
You wait a while, stupid.
Damn! What is wrong with this train?
You stupid! You spilled it all over me!
C'mon, another double cognac.
Fuck the double cognac, look at me now!
You're ugly as hell, but I've grown accustomed over the years.
Waiter!
Honest to God, I'm gonna kill you one of these days! .
Didn't I tell you this suit case was going to fall?
So what, It didn't kill anyone.
It did! It killed the old man. Here, he's cold as ice!
My, he really seems dead. What are we to do?
Children, you're not going to say I'm responsible, are you?
No, I am! I told you five times to move that suitcase.
But, I didn't know... - I knew! That's why I warned you, I did!
Everyone knew, but you had to be the wise one.
"I don't care!" What will you do now, you stupid old bat?
Really, children, what are we going to do now?
Not we! What will YOU do now!
We are going to go out and call the police.
Hey, that's the last thing we're going to do.
Don't you even think of doing that! And you too! Is that clear?
So, what do you suggest?
We can say that he woke up suddenly when the train stopped
and that his heart stopped. - That's really smart!
And when they discover he's got a cracked skull? What then?
Then they'll think we hit him or something!
Yeah, he's right. That would be stupid, really stupid.
Let ME think a moment... I want perfect silence.
Only we have to do something quick, because those two
might be coming back any moment now.
Silence! Listen what we will do.
We will just throw him out of the compartment window.
What are you staring at? We'll throw him out the window,
and we'll tell those two that he went to the toilet.
Like the old man is senile, and he can get easily lost.
And he can fall out of a train! - Sonny, you are a true genius.
C'mon, you and I! Grab him from the side.
Man, he sure is cold!
Hey, do corpses really get cold this quickly?
Hold it... Turn him around. Sideways! - What??
Oh, nothing. Are you ready? - On the count of three.
One, two, threee!!!
And move that suitcase this instant!
Sure! Why didn't you say so?
Hey, bro, wanna have another? - Why?
'Cause it's nice, dammit. - Yeah, let's not be stingy!
Waiter!
Maybe you'd like a drink? - No, thank you.
We should be getting back. - Why, is something wrong?
No, but if your little girl wakes she might get scared.
Oh, yeah... See you gentlemen!
Mind our grandpa.
If he wakes up, tell him we'll be back soon.
We'll just have one more drink. - Alright.
Tell grandpa we're coming in five minutes.
I swear I know that guy from somewhere. - Where from?
I just do!
Where have you been, you lovers?
Where's the old man? - Who? - Don't play dumb.
That old guy that was sitting there in that horrible suit.
The one in the purple suit?
It's not like there were fifty people here!
What's wrong with you? - He stepped outside.
To the toilet, I guess.
I'll be right out! - It's alright, no rush.
Officer, I've found something in the pocket.
Someone must have slipped it on me while I was sleeping.
Look, heroin! Half a kilo. That's 10 years.
Must have been the guy with the big nose.
He was suspicious right from the start.
C'mon Anna, we're here. C'mon wake up.
Are we there already? - Already! C'mon.
Aren't you going to Grainburg? - Well, no.
Actually I have to get something done here.
So, I hope we meet again back in town. Ciao!
Look at those two. They're in a rush!
Mike, my brother, that's fishy! Let's go check the compartment.
He's gone!!!
Where's grandpa? - What?
Where is our grandpa? - His gone, son.
Gone where?! What do you mean gone?! - Gone.
Walked out. He didn't fly out. He has no wings!
Hold it, Mike I'll settle this! Where did you say he went?
To the toilet, he had to pee. - He really had to pee?
Well, yes. - Really? - He couldn't hold it any more...
And all of you saw this? Him getting up and walking out. -Yes.
I'll kill every last one of you! Where's my grandpa?! Where is he?
Who? - Well, no one.
You don't understand me. Where is who? - Grandpa.
Our Grandpa. - What's with him?
Nothing... It seems he's... - Gone to the toilet. - Yes.
What does he look like?
Well... A fine elderly gentleman in a purple suit.
A purple suit? - Yes. - Like a faggot?
What are you saying. Our granddad was no faggot.
Sure. I saw him a while ago. Couldn't miss him. Very funny.
Yeah. My partner and I passed by the toilet just now.
He wasn't there. So, he's disappeared. - It seems so.
Was he senile? - He was. Quite old.
Senile and clumsy, blundering so to say.
He wouldn't have fallen off the train? - He did.
He did. - Right. Yes!
They're all suspicious to me.
Who's on patrol? - Jerry Shaft.
Call Jerry and tell him to check along the railroad.
And you, let me se some ID. - Officer why?
Sir, we have nothing to do with this. - Get it ready.
Look Poirot, what is there to check?
First of all my name is Tom. Now give me your ID.
The little girl. They must have swapped my bag.
And where's this little girl?
Well I don't know, they've just gone out.
Go after them, then! You expect me to chase after your bag?
Jerry, come in, over...
Are you in a rush?
Well, it's not like we don't trust the Police,
but we'd prefer to find our grandpa on our own.
He's our blood, you know. - As far as I'm concerned,
I have no objections. Only out there it's the wasteland.
Right, right. - Jerry, where are you? Come in!
Have you any idea how long I've been calling you?
Zak, when you're finished there, check this guy our for me
on the radio. I have a feeling I've seen him on an APB.
Jerry here, come in. Jerry Shaft. Hey Zak, what's going on?
What? A purple suit? Like a fag?
I said "like a fag"! O. K, right... Say hello to Tom.
What was that? Fell out of a train?
No sweat, I'll pick up that fag for you, I mean that old man...
Don't you worry! No problem, you hear?
I've been bored stiff here anyway.
Yeah and you gotta see the cabbage this year... Great.
Well, as soon as I run into him... No problem. Over.
What are you doing there, goddamn you!
Hey, mister...!
Elmer this time you're in it deep!!! Elmer, you fool.
Why the fuck did you have to climb over my electric fence.
In that fag suit too!
Now I'll go to jail 'cause I just tried to protect my field.
Mary, I'm gonna make you pay for this! Mary!!!
Elmer, don't!
Mary, wasn't it you that made me put in the electric fence.
Goddam you! What am I to do with his guy now?
You tell him now that the voltage
"isn't high and that is merely stings a little". Tell him!
"You died by mistake, it was an accident." Accidents happen.
Elmer, don't! - Elmer, your wife is a fool
and you're even more of a fool for listening to her.
Our neighbor Stanley put in the electric fence,
so we had to put an electric fence too! Stanley... Right!
Mary! Grab him by the feet.
What are you going to do with him now?
Fuck it, Mary, I'll throw him over to Stanley's!
He's got the electric fence, hasn't he?
He could have died on his fence? Sure he could have.
Let HIM go to jail!
He was the first to came up with the idea of the electric fence.
C'mon Mary!
You and your great plans! Where's grandpa now?
Are you sure he was dead? - Are you stupid or something?
I saw everything, They cut him up like a turkey!
Then I really don't understand those people in the compartment.
Are they crazy or what?
Let's catch up with them and beat them all up!
Keep looking, we have to find grandpa, you stupid. - Where?!
And how could a dead man disappear from the compartment?
Well, I really don't know.
Still, that guy with the little girl stinks.
He was the first to rush out of the train!
Well, let's beat up on him! - We won't beat up on anyone,
but we could find him though... And ask him a couple of questions.
Where did he disappear in such a small station?
There, no one tried to get in! See?
You never know, I prefer you standing watch.
So where's that grandpa now? - I know. They threw him out.
Don't talk nonsense. You must have dreamt it.
I didn't. I saw it! - Hold it.
Why would anyone throw out of a train a fine old gentleman.
Did he do something to them? - He did. - And what was that?
Nothing. He just died.
Why didn't you tell me that right away? - You didn't ask me.
You're right. Let's find that old man!
Hey, Elmer! - Stanley! What brings you here?
I was just strolling through my field. What are you doing?
Nothing... Mary and I were carrying this poor man.
He fell you know... - He fell onto your electric fence, right?
How did you guess? - How? I saw you take him off it.
Well, yeah...
So you were thinkin' of popping him over here on my fence,
to make it look like it was my fault. - Stanley!?!
Mary, did you hear what he just said?
You must be out of you mind... - I'm not out of my mind,
I just heard you making the plan.
You heard wrong, Stanley. I would never dream of...
You'd slip this guy over to your own mother,
if she were still alive, that is.
Let's try not to be offensive, Stanley. - Let's not.
In that case, I'll go call the police.
Please don't Stanley! I beg of you!
So, what are we to do then? - Yes, what are we to do?
Speak up, Stanley... What is it you're asking?
I want to correct that false border between our farms.
You stole it when you got the surveyor drunk.
That's a lie Stanley, those are my 8 square rods.
Yours? - Mine! - Oh, alright...
Hold it Stanley, where are you going!
If we throw it over into your field
who will the police believe?
Don't kid yourself. They have ways of finding things out.
They'll check your hands, your legs, everything on you...
And prove that you two carried him. So...
Honest to God? - Listen...
You know I always watch those police show on TV
and believe you me they're making great progress! - Elmer.
O.K. You'll get those eight square rods,
may you choke on them.
But now tell me what should I do with him?
How do I know that you will not cheat me out again?
I swear on my children. - And you?
Okay, you grab him by the shoulders,
and I'll grab his feet. Your wife can go prepare the deed.
C'mon Mary, jump to it!
Let's go.
Listen, Stanley... - What?
You don't have an electric fence... - I don't...
So, you tricked us. - You're not thinking of cheating me out?
No, I gave you my word.
Where are you going? - Me? Nowhere.
What do you mean nowhere? - Nowhere.
I'm taking the girl to her grandparents,
and no one was there to meet us at the station.
I have to manage somehow.
Is this your car? - No it's not. - In that case, get lost.
Where's grandpa? - So, you're looking for the old man? - Yes.
I'll break your neck if you don't tell us
where grandpa is right away! - What do I have to do with him?
Why should I be interested in him? - I don't know.
Hold it... Why did you run out of the train
just when our grandpa disappeared?
I'm avoiding the cops, and as far as I could see
you don't like them much either. - Not a bit, man!
So, are you two really as stupid as you look?
What do I have to do with your grandpa? - Well nothing, really.
Wasn't I in the bar with that chick?
Wasn't I having drinks with her right behind you two?
How could I have done anything to your granddad?
You got a point there... You couldn't have.
There you see! The man is right. So, what's the plan now, genius?
Where are we to look for grandpa now? Why did we bother the man?
Hey man, sorry. - No problem.
Fuck... So he looked suspicious!
You jerk! - You're a jerk, you imbecile.
When I only think I asked mom for a little brother,
and not a sister I feel like ripping my tongue out!
You know so many things!
You have to. When you grow up, I'll teach you too. - Yeah!
There! Just perfect!
Thank God. I was afraid no one would ever come by.
Did you notice he's missing a shoe?
Screw the shoe, mind your life!
What are you doing? - We don't have time.
We're looking for an old man, dearie.
I want us to pick her up. - No, we're not! - Stop!
I will not and you can't make me!
Alright, alright.
Where to, miss? - Grainburg.
That's in the opposite direction.
Wrong, I asked around. Anyway, that's where we came from.
Get in.
That's where we came from, now you're going the wrong way.
No, it's a short cut. The road is better.
You asked around too? - Sure. Why would I lie to you?
When you were a kid, I did torture you
and threw darts at you after I watched Robin Hood.
And I tied you up in the basement
and did all sorts of things to you...
And you spat in my face like a real sadist,
and used to tie me up with the clothes line
and poked me with the school compass.
Do you remember what you did to me when "Treasure Island"
was on TV? - I really overdid it then. - You sure did.
Well, I didn't torture you enough, asshole!
If I only knew what moron you're going to grow up to be,
I would have tortured you even more! - You're an imbecile!
Just think what our father will do to us when we show up!
That's what I've been thinkin' about all the time.
Are you sure? How do you know that?
Through the window I saw that funny house over there.
Hello! - Good day.
Are you from around here? - I am. - Let me ask you something.
Have you seen an old man, rather short, wearing a purple suit?
Wearing a purple suit? - Yes. - No I haven't.
Think about it better. - No, I haven't.
Maybe Elmer saw him. Elmer!
Stanley, I found it. - Come over here.
Here is the shoe! - Throw away the shoe, come over here.
What shoe? - Well, his boy came back from school without a shoe.
So the two of you came out here to look for it. - Nah...
The man is asking whether we saw an old man.
An old man? No we didn't. - Watch it!
Watch that, please. Now I remembered, I did see an old man.
Where? - He went away.
What? He just got up and left? - No. He hitched a ride.
I didn't see any car coming from that direction. -A freezer truck.
He hitched a ride on a freezer truck. - You mean that old man?
You get four dozen old men passing by every day?
He didn't have a strange suit, rather pinkish.
And did he look happy? - The old man was like a spinning top.
He got in and waved from the car... - From the freezer truck.
...from the freezer! He was waving. And what's he to you?
He's, my grandpa. - My cond... well, good luck! - Goodbye!
Let's go for a drink. - And the shoe?
Well, we will ditch the shoe somewhere along the road.
Stanley, you're a genius! Everybody'll think that...
They will say he ran over the old man
and stashed him in the freezer... Tough luck!
I'll buy drinks.
So, where are you going now?
To Grainburg. Where else? I'm taking you to the garrison.
And the shortcut? - Forget that.
The farmers told me we'll get there faster this way.
Sorry for meddling, but farmers are farmers.
And those two looked very suspicious to me. - So what?
How do you know they didn't trick you?
And, why would a trick me? - Farmers like doing that.
Good day. - Hello.
License and registration, please. - What for?
You have made a traffic infraction.
You were driving 73 in a 60 zone... - Where does it say so?
There is the speed limit sign two kilometers back.
Dear colleague, I have to say I've been driving through here
often and there is no sign. - First of all
we are no colleagues, secondly license and registration...
My dear colleague, I travel through here often
and there is no sign. - All right,
step out of the vehicle and open the back.
What for?
Well, alright. - Let's go! - All right.
Listen, on your way here, you didn't happen to see an old man
in a purple suit, fag-like, you know. - No I didn't.
How much was I doing? Here take it. - No, I can't!
Go on, take it. - Well, alright.
But you must know, that you look mighty suspicious to me.
The old man you're looking for, is he for a funeral...
I mean is he a criminal? - That's confidential information.
I have to go. - You really didn't see anyone?
No, I didn't, honest. - I'm glad to hear that.
So long.
You're a real buddy. It's rare to meet someone like you.
Listen, don't you need a receipt for your company? - No, receipt.
Great! Go on, drive safely. - So long.
Let's have another one. This one is on me.
Did Mary get those papers ready?
Did you happen to see... - We didn't.
How do you know you didn't, when you didn't hear his question?
Well, we just didn't.
Why don't you hear the man out first?
Well, alright but make it quick. We're kinda busy.
You didn't happen to see an old man, wearing a purple suit?
Here, this is his shoe.
And what are you to him? - Grandsons.
How many of you did he have?
Stop fooling around with us. Just answer the man.
Take it easy. He did not see him. I did. - And?
Well, he managed to catch a ride on a freezer truck and left.
What did you say? - He hitched a ride on a truck and left.
What did he do? - Just like that? Put his thumb up?
Yeah, up. Up and left. - And you saw it with your own eyes?
Look, brother, I think these two hicks are putting us on.
So why don't you sit down and have a cold beer,
and you can sit and watch me beat the shit out to them,
so we can see if they will change the tune.
I would very much appreciate watching a little violence live,
but listen, we are already in deep shit, we have to go.
There is no point in beating them up. - Please!
Get the move on. - Just a little! - Move it.
Just a punch or two. - C'mon let's go.
You shouldn't be lying! That's shameful at your age.
It's not nice to laugh at someone else's troubles.
Get it?
You got your share too. - I did.
Serves you right. It's not fair that only I should get it.
You lied, I didn't. - So did you.
That's why I got my share. - You did... Let's have another drink.
Yeah, let's.
And so the famous private detective Cockney Cole,
dressed as a freezer truck driver, continued his trip.
He was haunted by the shocking revelation
that there was a corpse in his truck.
A dead Caucasian male, nicely dressed.
Which indicated that this was the doing of the Russian Mafia
or some other national non-government
humanitarian organization.
What can I do with him?
Watching his boxing gloves, which reminding him
off his youth and championship titles...
detective Cockney Cole came up with a solution!
We'll dump the stinker from a cliff.
"What fucking cliff, it's all flat here" -
mumbled the stupid detective Cockney Cole...
Hello! It's an automatic?
Hey, why don't you let me check your board computer.
You know, if it lets you down in the middle of this wasteland,
you're done for. C'mon step out, have yourself a cold drink.
Bob, let's check this computer out...
Stop!
As Cockney Cole and our suffering nation would say,
"Wheat fields, you are our black gold."
Hey, a policeman! He can sure tell us the way.
Stop and we'll ask him.
Good day.
License and registration, please.
Excuse me, is this the road to Grainburg?
No, this road goes to Greentown.
You had a turn about a kilometer back.
License and registration. Step out of the vehicle please.
Colleague, I'm major Gabriel, state security.
Please don't salute. The two of them must not know.
Have you seen a freezer truck pass by?
Yes, just about ten minutes ago. Headed that way.
Damn, I should have stopped it! - No, on the contrary.
So, it went that way? - Yes, yes...
The driver looked suspicious to me right from the start.
Don't mention this to anyone, not even to your superiors.
At least not for some time. - Highly confidential?
Affirmative.
So, Grainburg is that way? The road is shorter this way?
Just go straight. - You are a fine man.
What a funny policeman. First he says that we have to turn,
then he tells us go straight. - He said it's that way.
Such a young man, and already a major.
And so the detective Cockney Cole solved the case
of the frozen private eye,
which implies that his colleague was frozen...
Which further implies that he could have been frozen
in the freezer truck alone. Which further implies
that detective Cockney Cole failed to notice this,
and this further implies that the said detective is a...
degenerate.
Give me your video-club membership card quick!
You're not going to... - No, you are. Watch and learn.
Excuse me, colleague, we are from the Agency...
Have you maybe seen... - A freezer truck?
Yes, it passed by a little while ago. - This one is psychic!
How did you know that we're looking for... - A freezer? - Yes.
One of your fellows asked me the same thing ten minutes ago.
So, it passed by here? - Yes, just go straight, straight...
Right, thank you.
By the way, colleague, is the situation normal around here?
Hello, central. This is Jerry.
Jerry Shaft! Did anyone from the government agency call you guys?
Is there some secret operation going on here?
Well, yeah... If it's secret why would anyone tell us. Right...
I apologize... Over and out.
With our luck, the INTERPOL is after that freezer truck.
That should not interest us...
We're just going to pick up grandpa. - You're right.
I think I'd make a good unit commander!
Where the hell is it now? - Who? C'mon, tell me.
Hey, guys I need to poop. - Go and poop.
I can't I'm afraid. - Afraid of what?
I don't know. - Go on with the kid.
Women!
My, my, as if he were alive.
But he didn't thaw!
Are you okay now, darling? - Now it's super!
What are you waiting for? - Why, are you in a rush?
Sort of...
Are you looking for a freezer truck? - How do you know?
Female intuition. And why are you looking for it?
It's a long story.
I guess it's time for me to hear this story.
Maybe some other time.
Only if you swear that you will explain why we got off the train
and why we are now roaming this plain... - And?
And if you swear that this time you will tell me the truth
for a change... - Then you will do what?
I will tell you where the freezer truck is. - I swear.
On your mother's life! - On my mother's life...
And don't keep your fingers crossed. - I am not! Damn!
I swear on my mother's life. Where is the freezer truck?
So, he got lost too! C'mon, get in.
The story! - What?
You swore! - Oh, that! Later...
Grandpa... Lookin' good. Real good.
Listen, grandpa, now I have to go and find a place
where I can dump you...
So if anyone comes and asks about Norman or Cockney Cole,
whatever... You just act like you're frozen stiff, get it?
Here's grandpa. Maya, come over and help me! - What?
C'mon, help me get him off the truck... - You can't do it alone?
I guess I can't.
Hello... God, he's cold! - Well... old age, poor health...
Yeah, but he isn't even breathing.
He's only unconscious.
Ouch!
I think you owe me an explanation!
What are we doing exactly?
Secret assignment, State security. This man is the key.
You can't be a cop! - Well, yeah...
Too bad! I kinda started to like you.
Hey, bro, if we keep going like this,
we'll get across the border. - Is it possible
that you can't keep your mouth shut for two minutes? - No way.
Grandpa, grandpa... Like in a bad crime film!
The body is missing, and the plot only started to thicken...
Grandpa! Where are you?
Never mind... Like Willy Van der Paksho said,
"the scratchy ass will need fingers".
I can see dad looking at the clock.
And getting very nervous.
There it is!
C'mon, get out! Move it!
Where's grandpa?
Grandpa, what grandpa? - Grandpa!
My grandpa! Where's my grandpa? Our grandpa!
Where's our grandpa? - Are you fuckin' with me?
I'm not! Honest to God! - Goddam you! Asshole!
Hold on a minute, Mike. Hold it.
Lay off me, fatso!
Now we're going to do it nice and easy. - We are.
Good day. - Good day. Grandpa? - What grandpa?
An old man in a purple suit. Where is he?
Speak! I'll get you and your fat momma! I'll cut up your momma!!!
I like your style. It's so civilized!
Grandpa! Grandpa... purple suit... get it?
Oh, grandpa. THAT grandpa? - That grandpa.
Why didn't you say so! - Is everyone here crazy
or is it just a bunch of old men strolling in the fields
and riding in freezer trucks? - No, no, no...
I just gave a ride to your granddad. He asked me nicely.
And? - I gave him a lift to the forest. - Really? - I did.
He asked you for a lift? - Very politely.
Then he got out and started to walk. - He got out for a walk?
Yeah, to the forest.
You didn't get to talk on the way? - We did.
You did...? So what did grandpa say?
Well, things. Old folk are all alike.
Did he tell you how is it to be dead? - He didn't.
Too bad. It will come in handy!
Calm down, my brother is a little crazy,
but he can't help it... Runs in the family.
When I was a kid, everyone called me Crazy.
They did. - But he doesn't look it.
Well, I'll tell you how it happened.
I was driving my freezer truck, and I get stopped by a cop.
So, he tells me to show him what I have in the back...
So I open up the back of the freezer and see a dead man.
Your grandpa.
How did grandpa get in there? - I really don't know. Honest.
So, I see grandpa right away and I realize,
this is gonna get me a long stretch in the cooler.
So I stopped to get rid of him, dump him, stash him and run.
So I go out to look for a good place, I come back,
and he's gone! -Stop shitting us! He got off to stretch his legs?
He was gone, I swear!
If you two hadn't shown up, I would have gone crazy!
Okay, tell me where is that place you wanted to dump him at?
What place? - Where you wanted to dump him. - Up, there!
Mike, C'mon let's go look for grandpa.
And can I go? - You can. Hold it.
It's not that I don't believe you,
but just in case you lied to us,
I'll let Mike work you over a little more.
No offense meant. You understand.
It will also do him good to let of steam!
Maya, come out a moment. - Why?
So I can slit your throat, rape you,
burn you with gasoline and bury you in the forest. - Okay!
What is it you wanted?
Never mind, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
I have, damn it! I can't lie to you any more.
I've been lying all my life.
Tin Man, that's what they call me,
'cause I don't have a heart like the woodcutter in Wizard of Oz.
I've seen the movie.
You'll despise me after this. - I won't.
You will. - Okay, I will.
You see, I'm a... You'll despise me...
Go on, say it already!
Say something, damn it!
What, is that the only problem? - Only?! Crazy Ronny is "only"?!
So what? We go back, we find the dope and we split.
Where do I find it?
He should kill me! I'm a criminal.
My trade is human suffering. - Well, everybody has a job.
I know, but I'm a bad man. - Bullshit!
I mean, you're taking care of the kid.
You could have gotten rid of her easily,
and instead you picked me up too. - Man, this is stupid.
I'm telling you that I'm bad and you keep telling me I'm not.
Listen. You think too much.
What you need is a rational female brain
to get you out of this shit. - Meaning what?
Meaning that I'm taking over the command.
First we're gonna return grandpa. - Where?
To the cemetery. That's where he should be, right?
We'll spare the relatives the transportation expenses.
And your boyfriend in the army?
Look, I wouldn't pass this sort of adventure
for anything in the world! Let's head for the cemetery. - Jawohl!
It's dark. - It is.
No trace of grandpa. - None.
We're screwed! - You're right.
Fuck... - Yeah, fuck...
Hey genius! - Fuck you, asshole!
Genius, I just wanted to ask you...
Shut the fuck up, will you!
Stop breaching my civil rights!
What the fuck is wrong with you? - Screw you! Stop hitting me!
Noooow, I remembered who the guy in the train was!
He's a dealer for Ronny. - Who is?
The guy with the kid! - What does he do? - He pushes dope.
He stole grandpa to cut him open and smuggle dope inside him!
Let's go!
He ain't gonna use my grandpa for smuggling.
Let's celebrate. - What are we to celebrate?
My new eight square rods. - Hey, yeah. I nearly forgot.
Don't you forget that!
Did you see those two? And who the hell was that grandpa!
Forget it! Good thing we got rid of them.
You're right. Let them chase the guy in the freezer truck.
That's their problem. - The tall one hits really hard.
He should be ashamed... Beating on older people...
Completely innocent.
Well, cheers.
Station commander, major Jerry... Shaft.
Doesn't sound bad at all!
Hey, look at this!
Here they already know he's dead.
It says: "After a long and consuming illness..."
But he was alive today!
Hold it! Could it be? Now I understand everything.
You mean...?
I'll explain it to you later. Let's put him in the casket.
That's the only explanation. - But why did everyone lie?
No one wants to have anything to do with a dead man,
and particularly not with the police. - Poor grandpa.
Poor me! Where am I to find the dope now?
Is it a small packet? - Yes sweetie, a little packet.
A man took it. - Which man?
The one without any hair. - The bald one?
On the count of three. - Yes.
Why didn't you tell me right away?
You didn't ask me. - I know! The traveling salesman.
The one that sat opposite. He went to Grainburg.
How do you know? Someone's gonna get it for this!
No! I have a plan. We agreed that I'm in command now.
Aye, aye!
So, you're here! And when they were beating me up,
you weren't around. Look what they've done to me.
I get it... - First thing... - Where's grandpa?
Second thing... - I mustn't lie to you.
Third thing...
I mustn't lie to you when I tell you where's grandpa.
So, where's grandpa? - I don't know!
But you posture clearly indicates that you are ready
to hit someone. Since I'm the only one here, that would be me.
And that gives me the strength to continue.
They were two degenerates...
Where are those two? - I don't know, but...
So, you always preferred older men? - Well, yes.
I mean, at school I had some problems because of it.
You know, the classmates full of acne,
and always ready to shoot their mouth off. - Well yes...
But their fathers, and the professors...
I always liked mature men, with a bit of gray hair,
or thin hair... Sorry! - Never mind...
You know, I've heard it's a hormonal thing.
I mean men with plenty of male hormones,
the manly types, they loose their hair faster.
Well, probably. Actually, you're right. It is so!
That would mean that they make better lovers, true men!
Not those faggots with hair.
I always say that, but no one believes me.
Waiter! Two more cocktails.
You see, I don't drink, but here I'm a little Ionely.
Really? I feel Ionely too.
I have to confess, I noticed you back at the train.
I realized you were looking at me! - Really?
Damn!
A real maniac! A D-cup!
Well, Simon...
Thank you for these wonderful two hours and 22 minutes!
Now I have to go to bed! I get up early in the morning!
Hold it, wait! Stay for just one more drink.
Oh, no, really. - Forget it. Simon here isn't naive.
"No, no" but you really do want!
You're not gonna try to rape me?
No... But you can't imagine what a good fuck I am!
Stop playing games and teasing.
I guess I will never know what I missed.
Good night and so long. - Come back here!
I said, so long!
Where were you?! He could have raped me! - No chance!
I thought you were an innocent girl
and you're into martial arts! Where did you learn that.
In ballet classes?
In solfeggio! Did you find the dope?
The maniac is hiding it somewhere... In the shoes!
Where's the heroin? - Where?! - I don't know.
You don't know, but you managed to throw grandpa off the train.
Where's the package you snatched from him?
Some whore took the package. - Gimme a coat hanger.
What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay downstairs?
I was bored, and some people were looking for you.
What people?
Us!
My, my it's the whole group from the train!
Now we're gonna get some explanations!
And there's some beating to be done!
What's up, baby? - Where's our grandpa?
Look guys, you're looking for your grandpa.
You don't have to thank me, your grandpa is...
I'd like to know that too! Where's this grandpa.
Who is he? What the hell is happening here?!
Look, colleague... - You're no colleague of mine, you jerk!
What kind of a moron do you think I am?
I checked up on all of you.
This is much nicer and more elegant.
Now let's all take a stroll down to the station
and we'll clear everything out there. C'mon!
Are you arresting us?
I'm taking you out for a drink! Move it!
Look, he's got nothing on us. They don't stand a chance.
Even cops don't take this guy seriously.
They realize he's a fool.
You seem to have a lot of experience in the matter.
You sound like you got through law school.
When we get out of here, unless we kill you on the spot,
you can get a job with our company as a lawyer!
Get out of here, you stinker!
Now, where's the fuckin' grandpa?
Don't talk about grandpa like that, you moron.
Look as far as grandpa is concerned, it's all finished.
We took him to the cemetery
and all you have to do is to get him buried. - No shit?
Wha'? - Seriously. The two of them can confirm it.
We owe you one for this. You're a real pal.
Though you were the most suspicious at the beginning.
Actually, this one here is to blame, this bald stinker.
Goddamn you!
Man, am I gonna kick your but when we get out!
Don't Mike. We have to get to the cemetery in time.
We gotta get changed! - But we're under arrest!
Watch me!
Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a rush, so good bye.
It was nice meeting you. I wish you the best of things.
Hey, wait for me!
What a police station! Everyone gets in and out as they please.
Shall we?
Down from the second floor? No, thanks.
May I? - Sure...
If someone had told me...!
If someone had told me I'd fall in love in a police station,
I wouldn't have believed him. Do you come here often?
It's my first time here.
Thank you...
What about your boyfriend?
Screw the boyfriend, what about the dope?
Screw the dope, love is important!
What are you yelling for, you made me jump!
The deceased is here. - We know he's here.
Thank God he is! We gotta get dressed quickly,
the relatives are about to arrive.
I don't think this is a proper place for that...
Shut up, or I'll set my brother on you!
Get lost. Here, take a necktie.
Where did you get such awful ties?
Pat the Jailbird gave them to me.
Pat the Jailbird? - Yes... - Well, if he gave them to you...
He told me they're the latest fashion...
I told you! No body, no case!
Where do we go now? - Now?
You two get in the car, I have something to finish up.
Then I'll take you out.
Hey, Eight ball, aren't you ashamed of yourself?
First you throw a man off a train
and then you pick his pocket too!
You wouldn't dare beat me up
here in front of the police station, would you?
Would you like us to go over to the public library?
Just joking. Why would I pick on you?
Where is his shoe?
How would I know, I threw it away somewhere.
Where did you throw it away?
I don't remember. Somewhere along the road.
We can't bury grandpa without a shoe, you idiot!
He doesn't need shoes now anyway.
Get your shoes off! - My shoes?
Not mine, for sure! Get them off! - No way, man!
Is that so?
You're a dead man!
Would you like some potato chips? - I want a big one!
Here you are.
I want some to!
Let the kid enjoy her chips. - Hey, it's a big bag!
Where were you?! I was looking for you for days!
Are you crazy or what?
Anna, let's go, sweetie. - I don't want to!
Honey, mommy's here. C'mon, let's go.
I'm sorry Anna, you have to.
Let's go, child.
They should take her away from you!
Why don't you go to the cops and report me? Tell them:
"She's a drug addict, I know that, 'cause I'm her dealer."
Get lost, freak!
By the way, I almost forgot.
Do you know who has been looking for you lately? Ronny!
That means you're an ex dealer... And an ex-living person.
Ciao Anna.
Anna... look what mommy brought you.
Where did you get it?
From a bald guy that tried to hit on me at the hotel.
And what's inside?
No idea. Judging by the wrapping, its something for kids.
So, there you are! Where's your grandfather? - He's here, dad.
Where else would he be? - Here's grandpa, dad.
First a slap 'cause you're grinning and your grandpa died.
You'll get more because you shamed me like no one ever did!
Why, dad? - What do you mean, dad?
What do I mean?! I took out all our relatives
to the train station, to kill some time!
We had nothing better to do than to hang around
there for three hours waiting for you two imbeciles!
And them we were waiting for you here!
What did I do to deserve you two morons for sons...!
Asshole, that's no way to behave in front of my dead father...
you motherfucker you! - Honey, please.
I told you a hundred times
not to hit me in front of the children.
And you two ought to be ashamed! You're big boys now...
And yet you show no respect to my dead father, your grandfather?
Hell, you're as bad as your father!
You want all these rotten relatives
to laugh behind your back... Is that what you want?
Woe!!! My dear papa.
Why did you leave me so suddenly...!!!
Aha! I got you now!
What is the matter?
Here's the body! Well, ladies and gentlemen...
What do you want?
As of this moment you are all under arrest.
Follow me! Move it!
C'mon, get moving! Evacuate the premises! Faster!
Regroup over there! Snap to it.
Faster!
There are so many of you!
And you too father! You're particularly suspicious!
I wonder which organization you belong to!
So, it's you I've been waiting for!
Well, I couldn't make the appointment myself.
I unloaded some golden trinkets.
I'm on my way to pick up some dough from a man. - And?
Well, I thought you could give me just a half,
to pull myself together.
Hey, if you don't trust me, I'll leave the kid with you
until I come back with the dough. I'll bring it all,
even what I owe you from before.
Okay, here's a quarter...
Come back soon or the kid will get old quick.
Sure I'm coming back, I'm her mother, aren't I?
Scram!
Thanks.
Let's go to the seaside. I got a friend down there.
Perfect! But I don't have a swimming suit.
What do you need one? - And the money?
Now that there's no dope, there's no money.
Screw the money!
Hi guys!
Look at this! You ran away or something? - I did not.
She pawned you again? - I'm coming with you.
No way! Who is gonna look after you? Out of the question!
And if I give you this?
What a genius! Bravo. Where did you get this?
Mommy gave me. She got it from that man without any hair.
You know what...! We must make a kid like this pronto!
You already have me!
We're taking you to your grandparents and that's final!
Then I won't give you the packet.
She's a blackmailer now! - She deserves to go to the sea.
That's kidnapping. Ten years minimum.
With my previous record, I'd get at least twenty!
Take her, please.
Out of the question! Gimme that! Don't make me use force!
Give it!
You little worm!
Silence! Silence, all of you!
Who brought you here? - I did!
On what grounds, may I ask? - They were burying a corpse.
Come over here.
Boss, this is no ordinary corpse. The INTERPOL is looking for it!
Really?
What INTERPOL are you talking about, you hoodlum?
No INTERPOL is looking for my father-in-law.
He was a fine and honest man! - To the office! - Yessir!
Darling, you go straight to the cemetery!
And the rest of you... aren't you shamed of yourselves?
My poor father had probably been buried three times by now!
How come there's no one at the funeral?
Maybe he was a scrooge.
The insurance policy!!!
This isn't funny. - It isn't funny?
What do you mean it isn't funny buddy...?
Do you know what happened to me?
I was off with my freezer truck... Okay, it isn't funny...
Why did you do that for?
Well... It makes the crops grow taller. - And Ronny?
Here, read this.
"Crime lord killed..."
That's him?
I guess there is a God!
Now you're my mommy and daddy.
Where did you pop up from?
You can't leave her now here in the middle of nowhere.
We have a deal? You're my new mom and dad!
I don't know, sunshine, maybe we are.
Just what I needed. You two! Sit back. Let's sing!
"The little train started across the fields
the little train left at the break of dawn.
That little train that leaves choo-choo clouds behind.
And in the fields there's always some cow amazed to see
that little train pass and leave choo-choo clouds behind. "
Now it's riding across a flowery meadow
where the sweet smell covers all.
To let the flowers know its joy
the little train leaves choo-choo clouds behind. "
Once I'll head across the fields
and leave at the break of dawn.
I'll get on the little train that leaves
choo-choo clouds of smoke...
Why do I have to dig,
while you're standing there like a jerk?
You imbecile! Because we have only one shovel,
and I have to keep watch! - I always do all the work!
I'm the older one and therefore smarter.
You are junior and therefore a moron!
You're a moron!
You forgot the insurance policy in grandpa's pocket!
You've been getting on my nerves all my life! Dig!
Whenever you don't know what to say,
you either hit me or yell at me. - So what?
Either this or that.
Well, I won't stand for it any more. I'm no slave of yours!
You won't? - No!
You won't? - No! - Okay.
Good. - Fine.
And now what? - Nothing.
What do you mean nothing? Who's gonna dig this?
Who do you think?
You're a moron by definition so you have to dig!
See, now I've hurt my hand because of you.
Look what you're doing to me! - Sorry.
Sorry my foot! Sorry isn't enough.
You think you can just say sorry and that's it? - Sorry, man.
You never wonder how I feel. You get on my nerves;
I have to hit you and that hurts.
It hurts me deep down inside,
but I have to hit you 'cause you're a real moron! - I'm sorry.
Go apologize to your momma!
You talk too much. No, really!
THE END
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