Mujer mas fea del mundo La
MADRID. JANUARY 1ST, 1982. LA MILAGROSA HOSPITAL
How are you? Hello.
The same to you!
No, not now. Afterwards.
THE UGLIESTWOMAN IN THE WORLD
MADRID, FEDERAL DISTRICT. NEW YEAR'S EVE 2010.
Request authorization for landing.
Roger. This is Gilson base. Transfer security codes.
-Transferring. -We've detected two "Micks".
Let's get them!
Change the channel...
One! Happy2011 !
Happy New Year
to you, to your famillies,
and to all the loved ones you're celebrating
this moment with. No one could
feel lonely on a night like this. Today is
the first day of the rest of your ilfe.
Channel 10 sincerely wishes
your dreams come true this year.
I'm going to bed.
I'm not up
to this kind of thing anymore.
I've immortalized you!
-See you tomorrow, God willng. -Bye.
The truth is she's not bad.
I'd love to...
Happy New Year, Lt. Arribas.
Not really happy...
-Hello, Lafuente. Where's Pelayo? -Inside.
-Should I come with you? -Stay here.
Sorry to ruin your New Year's Eve party.
What's the story, Pelayo?
It's pretty bad.
I've never seen anything like it.
What's with the mustache?
I'm Clark Gable.
I was at the costume party and I didn't
have time to change.
It's a shame, because there was this tall blonde
dressed as a ilon tamer...
Thank God I got her phone number.
"They" did it, officer.
Who are "they"?
-The Smurfs. -Don't follow me, ma'am.
Get them out of here.
I was telling them it's against regulations...
How do they find out? Who tells them?
The cop who gets the call.
Anything to make ends meet.
-Give me the facts. -Yes, boss.
The victim was Lidia Rovira.
82 years old, awidow, with no
This is her room.
Get me the tape from that camera.
Come out, boys. The lieutenant wants to take a look.
León, you must have one hell of a stomach.
It's just a snack.
Pure carnage, Arribas. The bodywas destroyed.
What are these stains, Doctor? Semen?
Could be. But it doesn't look like she was raped.
She still has her pantyhose on.
Give me some tweezers.
Find out when
I want to question everyone here tomorrow morning.
who could do such a thing?
They must have been soaked in blood.
Never lose it, Lola.
Always keep it with you.
It will protect you.
The others make fun of me.
-Why? -The call me "the Malaysian Fetus".
Ignore them, Lolita. You're a beautiful litle girl.
Now go out and play.
And show them how brave you are!
What the hell would I know?
Who'd brutally torture
a poor old woman, stab her to death,
dismember her, and then just walk away like nothing
had happened? Who could be
so cruel and merciless?
A banker, perhaps?
The Social Security Administration has hired killers
who liquidate helpless old people in order
to save their pensions. They killed Lidia.
Once she told me inner beauty
was the most
important thing in life.
When she was young,
she was very pretty.
Was she wearing this brooch?
If not, take this photo to all
the pawn shops.
That's the last one.
You're still Clark Gable?
No. Remember the lady lion tamer?
She said the mustache was sexy.
in this case?
None of the old people?
It was an outside job.
Where's the security
We can't find it.
You can't find it?
-It disappeared. -The autopsy, boss.
Someone hated that old lady.
The medical examiner said
the stains weren't semen.
-Dried wax? -Dried wax.
get me that damn tape.
And some coffee.
-With cream? -Black.
Lieutenant, Channel 10 says they
have an exclusive.
Happy New Year. We hope you started it on the right foot.
Doña Lidia Rovina didn't. She was brutally murdered last night.
As we have announced, Channel 10 has exclusive
footage from the security camera in the retirement home,
the scene of the crime.
Though pollce Lt. Arribas
has not commented on it,
this woman dressed as a nun is the principal suspect...
-One hell of a nun. -Champagne, please.
They know who she is?
You can barely see her face. It could be anyone, even you.
The President of the Republic
sat down last night before our cameras to read
his New Year's address.
Citizens of Spain,
my fellow republicans, I'd like...
It's already paid for, miss.
Got a cigarette?
You know what I was thinking?
You must have
been a beautiful litle girl.
Ugly! Ugly! Ugly!
-Ugly! Ugly! Ugly! -Miguel's it!
Kiss the fetus!
Kiss her! Kiss her!
Okay. Forget it.
Give me a forfeit. I won't kiss her.
-No way. -Ifyou won't kiss her...
-He has to show us his pecker! -Show us!
But not to the fetus.
To the fetus, too.
To everyone but the fetus. Come on!
You look familiar.
You just fucked me, remember?
That's a good one!
Are you famous? I've seen you on TV.
What are you waiting for? Go.
Ifyou know this woman,
call the number on the screen.
The Federal Police.
Soon on Channel 10,
the Miss Spain Beauty Pageant.
52 incredible women will vie
for the only crown in our3rd Republic.
The Miss Spain
Beauty Pageant. Here on Channel 10.
You know her?
It's her. No doubt about it.
Where is she?
In the Almudena Cemetery.
She died 5years ago. The bitch has come back
from the dead to get me.
Is it the nun thing?
Yes, Ma'am. You recognized her?
I think so.
It's a TV game show.
I have to guess who
it is. What's the prize?
Sorry to keep you waiting. How can I help you?
A colleague ofyours
already called about the Christmas raffle.
do you know this woman?
I don't think so. No, I don't.
You called yesterday
and said you did.
Must be a mistake.
It was from this office.
Who else could
have done it?
I don't know. Anyone.
I spend a lot of time outside.
The switchboard records
Should I get the tape?
I called you.
So you do know her.
It was a mistake.
I thought it was a nun that came here
asking for alms two months ago.
Nuns are like the Chinese. They all look alike.
Are you sure?
Completely. At first I said no because I feIt embarrassed.
You must get a ton of ridicuIous calls
in these cases, right?
I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
We won't botheryou any more.
We can find ourway out.
Where's your mustache?
Remember the lady lion tamer?
It's not that I thought I'd met a lady lion tamer...
Not a lady lion tamer,
nor a lady secretary, or cook, or anything.
No, he's a civil servant in the tax ministry.
What's wrong with that?
With civil servants? Nothing.
But "he's" a civil servant.
"He", as in
"a guy". You understand now?
Lola, Lolila, my Lolila...
My beautiful girl.
-You'll wear me away. -And you always
thought you were ugly!
You were always a beautiful girl.
Seen with the eyes ofyour heart.
The others have never been any good.
So, tell me. How are you? You must be married by now.
I can't find the right man.
Are you asking for too much?
I onlywant to be loved. To be truly loved.
AIways keep it with you.
God bIess you, Lolila.
Take care, mother.
Surprise them. Show the worId what you're capabIe of.
I'll try to.
Mirror, mirror, who's the fairest girl?
"You, Lola. You're the most beautiful woman on earth."
I'm the big, bad woIf.
Wrong fairytale, man.
Hers is wrong.
It should be "The Ugly Duckling".
"The Shrimp Woman".
You eat everything but the head.
I brought you avery special present,
my beautiful Lolila.
Fuck, the bitch really is ugly.
Don't be scared, princess. You like it.
Who goes first?
"Prince Charming". Right, beautiful?
Go for it. Your first time.
Abella and Pizarro, check calls. León y Lafuente...
Check the files
Do you think it could be
a serial killer?
Everyone eIse question the old people again.
Show the photo of the nun to the neighbors.
-The usual. -Lieutenant...
Narcotics is doing a raid near my house.
If I went with them, I could pick up my kids...
I belleve, Abella,
that yourjob is Homicides, right?
Let's get to work.
What about me, boss?
I don't trust Werner.
You know the university?
Pelayo at the university? That's funny.
Yes, it is...
-Pardon... -Look who's here.
Wasn't he transferred?
To the tax ministry. But he still comes to all the parties.
I heard he went as a lady lion tamer on New Years.
-What? -Imagine if some
asshoIe didn't know he was a guy!
What a surprise!
What are you doing here?
I had to talk to you.
Where's your mustache? You left so quickly.
Yeah... Sorry about that... But right now I can't...
See you at the car.
Pelayo, just give me a chance. Get to know me.
I really have to go. I'll call you.
Can I see you tonight?
I can't, I'm on night shift. Myjob's like that...
-Tomorrow, then. -Fine, call me.
Duty calls. I'm sorry.
Take care. I'd hate it ifyou got hurt.
Yes, of course.
Of course I rememberWerner.
Whywas he fired?
Wernerwent too far.
He experimented his absurd theories
on human beings.
I remember the day he came
and I told him he'd been fired. He was sitting
where you are now.
"Do you think you're God, Werner?" I asked him.
You know what he said?
"If God existed, he would be like me."
What were his theories?
"Morphogenetics", my friend.
Werner thought he could alter
people's genetic patterns through
Imagine, one quick shot
and whatever genetic illness,
malformation, or disorder disappears
Did he achieve anything?
If such a chemical agent existed,
it would be the greatest advance in the history of medicine
I told you Werner had a screw Ioose.
His clinic is very successful, isn't it?
The man who
was going to get a NobeI is stretching
wrinkIes for a bunch ofwealthy
We'd like to have a copy
Of course. Just ask my secretary.
Werner, DanieI Werner.
Here you go.
Is this all there is?
Yes. That's an unauthorized patient's card.
The name wasn't made public.
There's just general data,
blood type, birth date...
January 1st, 1982... What's this number
It usually refers to the hospital where theywere born.
-And? -And what?
Which is it?
It's the Milagrosa Hospital.
Thank you very much.
-When was your man's birthday? -Woman's.
We're looking for awoman. January 1st, 1982.
You're lucky. Not many babies are born on Jan. 1st.
-Why? -Doctors like holidays, too.
They provoke Iabor to avoid them.
I bet your baby was premature.
-Hold this, sergeant. -Me?
Sing if she cries.
You heard the nurse. Sing.
What do I sing?
Jan. 1st 1982.
There's a few.
What was her blood type?
That's not a usual type.
-That makes nine. -GirIs?
Can I have a copy?
So it's true.
Nothing. The older nurses say Lola Otero was born here.
-"The beautiful Otero"? -If it's the same one.
They say our Lola Otero was the ugliest
baby ever born here.
Who's Lola Otero?
Don't you ever read magazines, boss?
They called her "The most beautiful woman in the worId".
Here's the list.
Thank you very much, nurse.
You've become friends.
When he's older, I'll
buy him a drink.
Take her dancing. It's a girl.
See? I have a special magnetism for females.
By the way,
here's my phone number.
Give it to her when she turns 16.
You yourseIf can call me tonight.
It so happens that I'm free.
Will you call me or not?
Sorry that I keep asking you, boss,
but I don't understand what we're doing.
What is there to understand?
Well, what does
Dr. "Warner" have to do with the nun?
Werner calls us saying he knows the nun.
He retracts it the next day.
Then it turns out
he was fired for experimenting on someone born Jan. 1st,
the same day Doña Lidia was killed.
You see the connection?
This is what you wanted.
An orange dress shoe, very comfortabIe and eIegant.
It's an excIusive design.
Take a few steps and you'll see.
This holiday season,
give your child the authentic "Cinderella shoes".
And with thicker heeIs?
Not in an evening shoe, miss.
Fine, I'll take them.
Ifyou want a fIat shoe...
Is a credit card okay?
The authentic "Cinderella Shoes",
shoes foryour princess. A dream come true.
You know why I'm Quasimodo?
I want you to meet someone.
THE LAST NIGHT OF THE 20TH CENTURY
-I didn't mean to scare you. -It's okay.
Everyone is scared when they see me.
Since I'm so ugly...
Would you like to dance?
I'm not so awfully ugly under the mask.
Nice party, isn't it?
You know why I'm Quasimodo?
Because I think we're all obsessed with physical beauty,
always judging people by their exterior.
It's a dictatorship of aesthetics.
Who knows? It may sound silly,
I think what's important is what's inside,
what you think, what you feeI.
Don't you agree?
You mean that?
Of course I do.
Could you love someone who's ugly?
-You could? -Of course.
Even the ugliest woman in the worId?
If her heart is beautiful, why not?
You haven't told me your name.
-Lola. -I'm Luis.
I turn 18 tonight.
I should have brought you a gift.
But you didn't know me.
I knew something special would occur.
And that's you, Lola.
I've never danced so much. Actually, I've never danced.
You're awonderful dancer, Lola.
I just let you Iead.
With your hands on mywaist,
I feeI like I could fly if I wanted to.
Silly, isn't it?
It's not silly at all, Lola.
I could make you fly,
ifyou wanted me to.
It's the loveliest night of my life.
Everything you say is so meaningful.
This is just the beginning.
The bells are about to ring out.
We have until 12 to think of awish,
you'll take offyour mask,
and ourwishes will come true.
Are you ready?
I'll do everything you say.
What's wrong, Luis?
Don't run away from me, I beg you.
You said you could love the ugliest woman in the worId.
I can make you happy!
No one can love you like I can!
Hey... I don't know if I can do it with this on.
"The Beautiful Otero: A Fairytale."
-You know Luis Casanova? -No comment.
-Since when? -I said no comment.
a known Don Juan.
This is Lola Otero. The beautiful Otero.
The most beautiful, desired, and mysterious woman in the worId.
Her childhood is a mystery.
One day Lola's Prince Charming appeared.
Lola is the most
wonderful woman I've ever met.
Luis Casanova, the country's most eligibIe bachelor,
and bon vivant.
All Spain follows the famous couple's steps.
I'm in love, totally in love.
What can I say? He's the love of my life.
Everything seemed perfect. The dashing heir
and the mysterious beauty lived in a fairytale.
Until disaster struck.
Casanova and Cuca Maragato,
"Miss Spain", are surprised by paparazzi.
What was Lola's reaction?
Lola, have you spoken to Luis?
-Is Cucayour friend? -What will you do?
Who does he like most, you or her?
To love. To universal love.
To my love for Cuca.
THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR
What about Lola?
That's the past. I wish the best for her,
but I'm with Cuca now.
I want all Spain to know I love you.
Lola only appeared once after Casanova married Miss Spain.
At Luis Casanova's funeral.
He and Cuca died in a car accident in Monaco,
during their honeymoon.
She stoIe him from me.
She stoIe what I most loved.
She deserved to die.
I'll never forget what that bitch did.
It would be
the Iast time we saw her.
As mysteriously as she had appeared, she disappeared.
She vanished without a trace.
Dr. Werner, Miss Otero's here.
Give me a minute.
I haven't got a minute.
It's okay. Leave us alone.
I'm out of shots.
I'm so glad you've come.
You didn't say that before.
I wasn't serious.
You said you'd call the cops.
You said you weren't going to...
CeIebrate my birthday?
Let's make up.
Here, my birthday present.
It's a bit Iate,
but I hope you like it.
It's all right.
It's all right.
-My shot, Doctor. -I'll get it.
I'll take them all.
is here again.
-He wants to see you. -You bastard!
-I should kill you. -No, no.
It wasn't me, I didn't call them.
Can you hear me?
Lieutenant, you can't...
So, I'll take these samples to the Iab?
Why didn't you answer?
And weren't you
with a patient?
Sorry, my mistake.
-Pelayo, go find that nurse. -Right.
It was her, right?
The woman you experimented on at the university.
What's her name?
I don't know what you're talking about.
-She disappeared. -Read him his rights.
You're not being smart.
Do you know what professional
Do you know what the sentence for being an accomplice
to murder is?
He operates on lots of hot women.
See any, Pelayo?
Did I see any?
Nothing they have is theirs.
Goddamn fat guy!
You could use a liposuction.
Leave him alone, he's right.
All the ladies
in the magazines are 100% silicon,
like these beauty queens.
You hear Ramírez got ajob doing
security at the pageant?
All daywatching hot babes.
He'll be a silicon expert.
No, Pelayo's the silicon expert.
The lion tamer's got airbags.
I'm warning you,
You're pissing me off.
Going to eat that?
Yes, I am.
Where did you get it?
I told you. From a friend.
You always pawn your gifts?
What? You're not pinning that on me!
-I just screwed her! -Don't shout, I'll get rough.
That famous modeI.
One of the six names on the list. The nun.
I'll have to Iock you up, Doctor.
MISS CANTABRIA TO CONQUER SPAIN
Are we all here?
Police! Open the door...
Police! Open the door!
-You crazy fuck! -It just went off.
That's out of line.
Come on, León!
He never falls!
Excuse me, Lieutenant.
Christ, what aweird broad.
Nobody's here, Lieutenant.
We got here too Iate.
Put out an arrest warrant on Lola Otero.
Get the fingerprint people.
LOLA OTERO'S BEAUTY SECRETS
LOLA OTERO: "REAL BEAUTY IS INSIDE YOU"
The print guys.
-What do we look for? -Everything.
Fingerprints, organic samples, the works.
connects her to Lidia's murder.
-Hello. -Victoria Lavin?
Everyone calls me Vicky.
In name of the Miss Spain Pageant, weIcome.
Thanks. I'm nervous.
-Your Iuggage? -Right.
The car's outside.
This is a dream for me. Silly old Vicky
here in Madrid for the Pageant!
I wish my parents could see me.
They'd be very proud.
You're an orphan, right?
Yes. I'm all alone in the worId.
No, a ton of friends await you at the hoteI.
We're like one big happy family.
Hello, boss. Here you go.
The boys found
Lola Otero's file
in Sr. "Warner's" records.
It's Lola Otero before the treatment.
GirIs want to look like their dolls. Lolawanted her dolls
to look like her.
A human being, Pelayo.
It's an ugly case, isn't it?
Yourjoke's not funny.
Like Abella's about the lion tamer.
Keep the boys
checking the files for other cases.
I want them to focus on New Year's Day murders.
Can I ask a personal question?
Do you think a man...
a normal guy...
like me, for example... Do you think
that it's possibIe...
I mean is it Iogical
for him to like
a tax ministry empIoyee?
You heard me.
What can I say?
I'm really confused.
You have to find out foryourseIf.
-I'll see you tomorrow. -Thanks, boss.
Bye, Vicky. Say hello to Cuca Maragato for me.
RESTRICTED AREA MILITARYZONE
-You know Luis Casanova? -No comment.
-Since when? -Stop.
He's the love of my life.
She stoIe what I most loved. She deserved to die.
I'll never forget what that bitch did.
Edit. EndIess run.
I love you. I'll never forget you.
You're the love of my life.
I love you. I'll never forget you.
I love you.
I'll never forget you.
You're the love of my life.
-I love you. -I love you.
-You're the love... -...of my life.
-Room 101. -Cádiz and Tarragona.
-102, 103. -Valencia, Salamanca.
Hi, I'm Vicky.
The one we're missing, Carmelo. Miss Cantabria.
Yes, Victoria Lavin.
-Right? -Call me Vicky.
Where the hell were you?
We were looking foryou.
No one was at the airport.
The important thing is she's here.
Your I.D., honey?
-Right here. -Come with me.
SPANISH REPUBLIC IDENTITY CARD
You're lucky. You won't have to share a room.
Ifyou need anything, just call me.
honey, I don't have any pockets.
Rocío. I can't find my "Epilady".
Montserrat, Miss Barcelona.
Your next-door neighbor.
Vicky, Miss Cantabria.
Can I use yours?
You can use mine.
Give it back Iater.
It won't shock me?
Enough chatting, girls. Let's let Vicky unpack.
I'm on myway.
Sew him up.
Let's talk about your case.
What have you found out?
Your men have found five cases
besides Doña Lidia's.
of different ages
killed on Jan. 1st with different "modus operandi".
The same killer?
Could be. Here
are photos of them
and of Doña Lidia.
Theyweren't killed on consecutive years.
Despite your birthday theory.
But it is true that all six bodies
had traces ofwax, as if
candIes were put out on them.
A revenge case, I'd say.
No one's linked the cases untll now?
The computers noticed it a few years ago,
and they investigated it,
but they couldn't find anything to hold on to.
The victims are unrelated.
-What, then? -There's one possibility.
Maybe deaths on the years without cases
were listed as accidents.
I asked your men to check it.
They're still on it, boss.
If my suspicions are true,
careful with that woman.
The six victims from the first case in 2001
up to 2011.
We need five deaths to verifyyour theory.
Do you have the files on your computer?
I want to see number3.
Have you found anything, boss?
Here we are.
Found in her bedroom Jan. 3rd, 2006.
The autopsy revealed she'd
been dead 48 hours.
Amplify it. Let's see
All the way.
See something, boss?
Go to number 5. The dressing room.
They killed herwhen she was changing costume
during the New Year's Eve
The photos stuck in the mirror.
This one's similar to number3.
-Have you got Lidia's file? -Yes, boss.
We've got it. Tell him.
You tell him.
-No, you. -You, Goddamnit!
Someone tell us whatever it is!
We know what the victims have in common
and we found the missing
cases that were listed as accidental deaths.
Know what the victims had in common?
Let me guess.
They all had been Miss Spain.
This is the future.
It's fame, money and dreams
It's whyyou're here.
But girls, you have to obey the ruIes.
And number one is: no men.
Not even those cuties?
What is this?
You continue, Rocío.
Tonight the press
comes for the presentation.
You have to be ready to Ieave the hoteI
at 7:00 sharp. Don't let me down.
GentIemen, this is private...
-Lt. Arribas. -Right, Lieutenant.
You didn't have to come.
This is my 7th year. There are always bomb threats,
feminists that want to castrate us, etc.
Nothing ever happens.
You do yourjob, let me do mine.
We'll be discreet.
Anther thing. There are lots of girls here.
-ControI your men. -Don't worry. We're cops.
Jesus! What would you give this one?
What would I give her? An apartment
and whatever eIse wants, with that pair of...
I'd... I'd give her
a 7 and 1/2.
A 7 and 1/2, Pizarro?
Are you blind? What about you, León?
-the blow-up ones. -Yeah.
Too bad we can't defIate them and take them home.
Write down ten for me.
He gives them all ten!
-Shit! -They're all hot!
What about this one?
So what does
yourwife get? A negative 12?
Hey, you don't even mention mywife.
Or I'll tell internal affairs.
You talking to me? To me?
-My pizza! -The lieutenant!
What's going on here?
We were just checking the girls' files.
Lugo, 7. Valencia, 8 and 1/2. What is this?
We give them each an average of our scores.
We're thinking of having
a betting pooI to see who wins. Want in?
How much is the ante?
What score would you give this one, Lieutenant?
I say she's a six.
Are you all total dipshits?
This isn't a game.
Rememberyou're on duty
and this is a murder case. No more nonsense.
I can't Ieave you guys alone.
So? Have you found Lola?
You knew about it all, didn't you, Doctor?
About Lola's taking revenge on Cuca Maragato
by killing other Miss Spains.
You knew it, didn't you?
How could she fall in love with that cIown?
HeIp us arrest her.
You know her better than anyone.
I have no idea where she is.
And why should I help the police? Tell me, why?
The judge will remember. But above all,
because you're afraid of never
seeing her alive again.
She's not a bad person, Lieutenant.
She just had bad luck.
No one's ever really loved her.
You know what that's like?
Does that mean "yes"?
-Who is it? -It's me. Montse.
Just a second.
I'm in the bath.
Vicky, what's taking you so Iong?
-What is it? -You'll think I'm dumb.
I forgot my hairdryer, too.
And we have the presentation!
I'll get mine.
I really appreciate it, honey.
I wish you were my roommate.
Mine doesn't use a hairdryer. She's athletic.
that kind of thing.
My boyfriend's in the army.
We'd better hurry or Carmelo...
Relax, we have time.
You belleve Miss Palmas
fucks the jury president?
I don't know.
I mean, don't you sIeep with him?
What's your name?
What's your real name?
You Iend your
things to a competitor and you don't hump the president.
Where did you come from?
What are you insinuating?
Your name's not Vicky.
You're not Miss Cantabria.
Don't turn me in.
you have no chance ofwinning.
Everyone here does what she must.
I was just curious.
Go on, answer my question.
Shall we go?
What's your real name?
I should be on awedding cake.
-You could have shaved. -No...
I'm growing a mustache.
-The lion tamer again? -Her name's Vanessa, boss.
We're getting to know each other.
let us know ifyou notice anything.
But what if Lola doesn't pIan on attacking one of these girls?
She will, but not tonight.
Why is that?
She wants the one who becomes Miss Spain.
But what ifyou're mistaken?
"Ladies and gentIemen..." No, that's too boring.
It should be smoother, more...
friendly. "Dear friends..."
You're all lovely. Simply beautiful!
Finally, ladies and gentIemen. Here they are!
Thanks very much.
Dear friends. Now we'll present
the awards of "Miss Congeniality",
"Miss EIegance", and "Miss Photogenic".
The Pageant Jury has decided the award
-for "Miss Congeniality" goes to... -Miss Ceuta!
The award for "Miss EIegance"
-goes to... -Miss Soria!
Tonight's Iast prize,
"Miss Photogenic" goes to
-Miss... -Miss Barcelona!
Excuse me. Have this one.
Sorry... It's no probIem.
You look familiar.
Do I know you?
I don't think so.
My name's Vicky.
-Vicky Lavin. -Mariano Arribas.
I'm sure I know you.
Are you a reporter?
I've seen you on TV.
Did you see that, Doctor?
We're all idiots
with women like that.
I've never seen anything like it!
Boss, she's putty in your hands.
Don't be absurd.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Should I follow him?
No, that's all right.
-Lola! -Hello, Doctor.
Don't mind me.
Thanks for not telling the lieutenant.
I'm here to help you.
Really? And by doing what?
By getting you out.
I'll give you everything you need.
Like my shots?
Yes, I have one in my pocket.
I just want you to be happy.
What do you know about happiness?
I made you happy. I made you beautiful.
I've always been ugly.
You don't understand.
Let me help.
That's it, Doctor.
The Iast drop and...
Inside. You don't want to catch a cold.
almost all women want to improve their bust,
but without surgery. "BodyWonders" is...
-Hello. -Hi, boss.
We haven't found the doctoryet.
-The clinic? -We've checked it.
What do we do?
I guess I was naive to trust Dr. Werner.
Don't say that, boss.
Send his picture to all the stations.
-Right away. -Fine.
See you tomorrow.
Beauty, no! Brains, yes!
Hello. Everything's ready for the Miss Spain Pageant.
Tonight's the festival of beauty
in which we'll Iearn the name
of the luckywoman who will wear the crown.
But not everyone is in favor of beauty pageants.
What do you think?
They're like livestock shows.
How is it, in the 21st century,
we have to put up with this?
It's offensive and degrading to women.
Down with it!
Who is it?
Vicky, you're already up?
-I need the hairdryer. -Sure.
We have to give each other a hand.
I see you're
not one of us.
The other girls would give you a hand... around your neck.
I want three agents at each entrance.
-You have the guest list? -Yes, boss.
All the guys have a copy.
The key thing is to guard the girls.
Backstage, onstage, dressing rooms.
Any info on Werner?
Pelayo? Do you read me?
-Is the lieutenant there? -Yes.
-What is it? -Abella here.
-You'd better come to room 58. -We're on ourway.
-Who reported it? -Her roommate.
She went jogging and found her when she came back.
She was dead when we got here.
We didn't touch anything.
Where is her roommate?
Outside, freaking out.
She see anything?
The victim was asIeep when she left.
She was gone for a half hour and didn't see anyone.
CIose off the exits and call the print people.
Martín, come up.
Sweet Mother of God!
What do I do now?
Don't let the press find out until after the pageant.
They caught Otero
as she was Ieaving the hoteI.
We got her, boss. She's dressed like a nun.
-Where is she? -Right up there.
She was going through the kitchens.
She had this under her habit.
And the mouth on her! She called me everything.
I had to head-butt her.
What's this knife for?
To slice the tits off those fucking bitches.
And the nun costume?
Nuns go wherever theywant.
Didn't you know that?
Didn't you know that?
-Pelayo! -Yes, boss.
Take away this Iunatic.
Abella, grab her Iegs!
It's her, isn't it?
Just one of the feminists from outside.
Take her to the station.
Sorry, Lieutenant. I thought...
Don't worry. Good work.
Keep your eyes open.
Are you blind?
More to the right.
Fastball or curveball?
The orders don't specify. The other tree.
One o'cIock. To the right.
Mission accomplished. Let's go home,
I'm sick of these Goddamn maneuvers.
Shit... We're fucked.
Look at the tree.
Didn't you tell me to hit the other one?
Look at it!
Shit! Did you blow away a civilian?
-How's the entrance? -Normal.
-Where's Pelayo? -I'll go look for him.
No, stay there.
GirIs, girls, girls!
My litle darling. You're all beautiful!
Only one of them
will be the new Miss Spain. A new starwill be born here.
Soon we'll know the name
of the new Miss Spain. But first, aword from our sponsors.
Lieutenant, they found Werner.
Did they take him to the station?
No, to the morgue.
He was in a broom cIoset of the conference center.
Pelayo? Where the hell are you?
You can't come in here.
Police. I'm on duty.
Can you hear me?
He's like a cute litle Martian!
-How Iong are the ads? -Three minutes.
I can't take it!
Rocío, my pills!
People have called saying Miss Cantabria isn't Vicky Lavin.
A schooImate of hers saw
her on TV and says that she's not the same person.
Of course she isn't!
Since she left schooI,
she must have had a nose job, a tit job, etc.
-Her mom wouldn't recognize her! -It's what he said.
Bullshit is what he said!
Sorry, it's orders.
-What's going on? -Nothing.
You can go.
Ifyou abuse your authority, I'll tell Lt. Arribas.
By the way, he's looking foryou.
Hello? No, I'm Sergeant Pelayo.
No, the lieutenant's not here right now.
A tank did what?
Could you repeat that?
Well, ladies and gentIemen. I'm in heaven among the stars.
Are you still there? The best is coming up.
holds the names of tonight's three finallsts.
A starwill be born from here.
Theywant to be stars. They're beautiful,
This is an exceptional moment.
Tonight's first finallst is...
The second contender for Miss Spain
is Miss Las Palmas!
And the Iast is Miss Cantabria!
Now the honored members of the jurywill ask
our finallsts a few questions.
-Where the hell have you been? -Boss...
Do we arrest her?
Now? On TV? No, we'll be discreet.
Post some sharpshooters. No one fires until I say so.
What is your ideal of beauty?
What's important is inner beauty.
So my ideal is
Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
She had real
All women should be like her.
Well, we've got
an intellectual doll here.
Ladies and gentIemen,
this is the moment
you've been waiting for.
The president of the jury will be so kind
to give us the envelope
that holds the name of the new Miss Spain.
Thank you, Toto.
The new Miss Spain is
Miss Las Palmas!
Long live Miss Spain!
-Now, boss? -No, hold on a bit.
Where is she?
Do you see her?
No, I can't.
Get everybody on stage. Grab her.
Back, or I'll fire!
Hold your fire!
You neither, lieutenant.
If anyone blinks, I'll blow Miss Spain's
brains out, if she has any in her lovely litle head.
No one will hurt you, miss.
Put down the gun.
I'm serious. When I say "Nobody move", I mean it.
You can't escape.
Don't make things worse.
I know whyyou do this.
You've had bad luck.
You don't know!
It's different now.
I've always been ugly!
Can't you see?
you don't believe me,
I understand you perfectly.
Back or I'll kill you.
You and I are alike.
I know how it feeIs, Lola.
It's all right.
THE UGLIESTWOMAN IN THE WORLD SENTENCED TO QUARTER MILLENNIUM
250 YEARS OF PRISION FOR THE BEAUTIFUL OTERO
Check it out and if you like it, we'll buy it.
By the way, what are you wearing now?
We're sorry, boss.
NEW YEAR'S EVE 2011
You only have an hour.
Well, considering the day, take all the time you want.
And Happy New Year.
Same to you.
One... Happy2012! Happy New Year
to all ofyou, ladies and gentIemen.
Toast with us for this joy to Iast all year.
May peace and love ruIe
our homes. May these be the best 12 months of our lives.
Life is beautiful. ChanneI 10 hopes
that yourwishes from Iast year have come true.
That 2012 brings you new dreams and especially lots of love.
Today is the first day of the rest ouryour lives.
THE UGLIESTWOMAN IN THE WORLD
Merry Christmas to the 32% ofyou who are Catholics,
and Happy Holidays to the rest. Remember:
More than a president, I'm your friend.
MASH 1970 CD1
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