Night at the Roxbury A
- Hi.[br]- Who, me? Him?
- Not you.[br]- Don't worry about it.
- How are you doing?[br]- Oh, fuck off.
- What's up?[br]- Feel good. All right.
- Yeah. Score.[br]- Very nice.
All right. Let's talk[br]to this little lady called Night.
I broke the window again.
- Dad's gonna be pissed.[br]- I'll just tell him you did it.
But I didn't do it.[br]I'm driving. Don't do that.
So anyways, I'm standing there,[br]waiting to use the pay phone ...
And this guy on the phone turns[br]around and tips his hat like this.
And who do you think that guy was?
- Emilio Estevez.[br]- 'The Mighty Duck'. I was there!
Of course you were. You yelled[br]the "Breakfast Clubber's" name.
So, anyway.[br]You guys wanna make out or what?
Oh, man. lt was perfect that time.
Four months of work for nothing.
- What's up?[br]- Did you know you were doing 50?
Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls[br]over just anybody? Make a move.
- What's up?[br]- Just giving you an $80 ticket.
She is so into you.
- I want you to do me a favor.[br]- Whatever you say, 'T.J. Hooker".
Please obey all posted speed limits.[br]Have a good night.
It's already been good, now[br]that you've served and protected me.
- What was the point of that?[br]- Sorry.
Come next week. I'm gonna[br]take care of you. All right, man.
This is the Roxbury. We have a list.
- We're on the list. Doug Butabi.[br]- Steve Butabi.
- You're brothers?[br]- No.
- Yes. Man![br]- That's quite a joke.
- Doug is hilarious.[br]- Check this out.
You ever heard of this one?[br]You're not on the list. Get in line.
- ls that ..?[br]- It's the king of "21 Jump Street".
- Excuse me.[br]- See you later. We'll go wait in line.
- Maybe we'll hang out later?[br]- No chance.
- Sounds good.[br]- Know what's wrong with this place?
- They don't evaluate the clientele.[br]- I thought we just weren't cool enough.
You are a beautiful man. Know what[br]we're gonna do when we get our club?
We're gonna treat all wannabes just[br]as well as any legendary tv-star.
- That's pretty Roosevelt of you.[br]- It's just what I believe in.
- Wanna dance?[br]- We're not in the club yet.
So, maybe when we get in?
So I'm waiting to use the pay phone,[br]and this guy tips his hat like this.
- And who do you think that guy was?[br]- Emilio Estevez!
'The Mighty Duck', man. I swear[br]to God. I was, like, "Emilio!"
"Emilio .. !"
The club is closed, folks. Sorry.
- Nozzled you, my friend.[br]- Totally got me.
That was in my nose.
- You're an idiot.[br]- Oh yeah? You like it.
Get off ... Watch it!
Where's Mom? And who's this[br]gorgeous young hottie in the kitchen?
- Why is she wearing Mom's bathrobe?[br]- What do you think of my new chin?
ls it better than last year's?
Behave yourselves. Look who's[br]gracing us with their presence.
- Who?[br]- Here, Dad.
It's a health shake.[br]lt helps me hit my physical peak.
Get the camera.[br]He's gonna hit his peak.
- Honey, do it in your room.[br]- Oh, Mom, you're so funny.
Steve? In the store in a haIf hour.[br]Wear something nice. Emily's back.
As if he gives a flying rat's ass.
"Flying rat's ass ..."[br]That would be wild to see.
Steve, at the store in a haIf hour.[br]Bring your dancing monkey brother.
Hey, are you from out of town?[br]You have a local number?
Are you all right? Sure?
Finally. An hour and a haIf late.[br]Steve, go dust the roses.
ldiot boy,[br]go cover the cash register.
ldiot boy,[br]go cover the cash register.
Hi. How are you paying for these?[br]Cash, check or charge?
- Charge.[br]- Okay.
- ls this a Visa or a Mastercard?[br]- Move your thumb.
Good one. Okay.
Sure this is your card? It's not[br]processing. I have to call it in.
- Operator 238, please.[br]- Authorisation. Card number?
- What's up?[br]- I told you not to call anymore.
- I need an approval.[br]- Card number?
- Not the card, sweetness, me.[br]- Shut up and swipe it.
I can go for that.
You like that? Does that feel good?[br]'Cause I can swipe it all night.
- The card's fine. Bye, Doug.[br]- Bye, 238.
Hi. Can I help you?
Hi, Doug. Your nightclub's so cool.[br]Can my model friends come in?
- No. Yes.[br]- You're so funny and cute and tall.
Let's shake it.
What are you doing? You have to cut up[br]my plants and make toys of them?
- It's a club with a jungle theme.[br]- You're a jungle theme.
Go find your brother and load[br]the trucks. ldiot ... Useless!
- Steve ..?[br]- Don't look.
- Hi, Steve. Hey, Doug.[br]- Whatever.
Now I'm back,[br]so we can get together.
- You wanna go see a movie?[br]- Sure.
Or we could just drive around[br]and make out. I love making out.
- And I'm really good at it.[br]- Sounds good.
Back off, Chicklett. My brother and[br]I, we live life in the fast lane.
That means no stop signs,[br]no pulling over to take pictures.
See this man? He's my co-pilot[br]on this magic carpet ride.
- You're just way too much luggage.[br]- Shut up, Doug.
Emily?[br]I see you've picked the right son.
You know, Steve likes you very much.
Mr. Butabi. ls Steve asking Emily[br]to marry him again?
You know something?[br]If they have enough children, -
- we won't have to hire salesmen.
- Oh, Kamehl, you kill me.[br]- No, you kill me, Mr. Sanderson.
- Can you please leave Steve alone?[br]- He likes the girl ... Yes, you do!
You see this wall? After they[br]get married, we'll combine stores -
- and have the first plant-lamp[br]shop. Steve and Emily will run it.
- Maybe you can clean the toilets.[br]- You're living on "Fantasy lsland".
- God, that was a sweet show.[br]- I have a fantasy.
That I have two capable sons.[br]Not one with his head up his ass!
ls this how you load trucks?[br]Disgusting. Get out of here.
- So we're on a break?[br]- I guess.
- You wanna crunch it?[br]- Sure. Let's crunch.
- Can the rest of us use the mirror?[br]- Appreciate it.
- Everyone's got an attitude here.[br]- Gentlemen! Looking large.
Want my power bar?[br]How about an energy bar?
- I got a muscle triplicator bar.[br]- Supplements aside ...
- How long have we been friends?[br]- All seven years of high school.
That's why I'm not gonna sugar coat[br]it. I'm worried about your triceps.
You aren't going all the way down.[br]I'm not seeing full extension.
We had a long talk about that[br]the other night.
You just shouldn't cheat yourselves.[br]Sorry to come down on you like this.
That's why we love you and hate you.
- Still friends?[br]- You know it.
I'm glad we had this talk.
I had a great idea for the store ...
The store? You're supposed to be[br]thinking about ... Hey, what's up?
- Can we call you sometime?[br]- Want some of this?
- Think about our future.[br]- You're Mount St. Helensing on me.
Why are you forgetting our plans?
The plans about you and I opening up[br]only the coolest club a la the Roxbury.
- How? We can't even get in.[br]- We're letting them not let us in.
But no more. It's time we step up[br]into that sweet-ass world.
From now on, the only club[br]we're going to is the Roxbury.
- We can't ...[br]- We can. You know why?
- We're good looking?[br]- Very good looking. You especially.
Repeat after me:[br]We can get into the Roxbury.
We can get into the Roxbury.
Roxbury .. !
Hey, what's up? You want some[br]of this? How about a little of that?
She starts to smell them.[br]She thought they were real plants!
- Hello?[br]- What's up?
The Sandersons are here to see[br]your mother's new chin. Get dressed.
- Sorry, we're a bit busy tonight.[br]- Steve? I'll be right back.
I like your bathing suit. You have[br]really good muscle definition.
Most Americans don't wear revealing[br]bathing suits. Very European of you.
It's really sexy and I have[br]a really good taste in what's sexy.
- Steve![br]- Whatever, Emily.
What's going on ..?
Are you from out of town ..?
When I tell you to do something,[br]I mean it. Never come in half-naked.
- Put some clothes on and come down.[br]- lsn't on our things-to-do-list.
- We have something to do tonight.[br]- Yes. To get downstairs.
I don't want to!
How do I get through[br]to this individual?
Doug is like a fax machine.
Without a cover page, people don't[br]know where it's coming from.
And sometimes you get a busy signal.[br]That's why you got a redial button.
- Actually, I always screw it up ...[br]- Don't bother. He'll never understand.
I understand very well. You're going[br]to a new, hot club tonight, right?
- But how are you gonna get there?[br]- What are you doing?
You can take away our phones[br]and our keys, but not our dreams.
'Cos we're, like, sleeping[br]when we have them.
Boys, wait. I don't like you leaving[br]without a phone.
How old are these? How embarrassing.
You know, in case of emergency.[br]Have fun.
- Did Mom get lipstick on me?[br]- lt looks like you were making out.
- How's my hair? Roxbury-good?[br]- You know it.
I've got to tell you, Steve,[br]tonight, I can taste it.
I can't taste it. I'm so scared right now.[br]I don't know what to do.
- You're mad-cowing on me. Relax.[br]- I'm nervous.
- It's this pressure to get in.[br]- You must take control of yourself.
No, you take control.[br]I'm barely hanging on here.
Come on, relax. Think puppies[br]and candy canes, all right?
- Hey, hotlegs. What's going on?[br]- We'll clean it up later. Don't worry.
I see your Roxbury balloon[br]and I hate to burst it, -
- but I don't think[br]our names are on that list.
Perfect. "Rites of Passage".
Remember? A boy in the jungle[br]with only a spear to hunt the lion.
This van is our spear.[br]That Roxbury is our lion.
- Does the bouncer know about this?[br]- He's about to find out.
See you next week.
- My good hombre. Remember us?[br]- Doug and Steve Butabi.
- You're brothers?[br]- No ... Yes.
- Man![br]- Works every time.
Now I remember. You can't come in.
What's up, partner?[br]How are you doing tonight?
Time to play a little softball.
- Hey, good man. How's it going?[br]- Good. You stilI can't come in.
That's not what my friend told me.[br]His name is Abraham.
- You don't know him?[br]- What about his two friends?
George Washington[br]and George Washington?
And George Washington is a little[br]lonely. Wants to join his buddies.
And look who else we've got.[br]Roosevelt, Roosevelt and Jefferson.
Thanks ... Great.
- ls that an ATM?[br]- That's where we drop off videos.
- Hello, that's it.[br]- That was a card store.
- That's just Weight Watchers ...[br]- ATM. That's it.
- Shit. The car.[br]- What about me?
This racing car is illegal.[br]All I need is a police report.
- Are you all right?[br]- Yeah, let me see.
Great. They're starting[br]with the neck injuries. I'm screwed.
- Sorry about your van.[br]- No way. Richard Grieco!
- We saw you at the Roxbury.[br]- Right. So what do you want to do?
- Go to the Roxbury again.[br]- We couldn't get in.
You want me to get you[br]into the Roxbury? Great. Follow me.
- Amazing.[br]- lt all comes from within.
He felt it because he's an actor.
We gotta make a stop at the Roxbury.[br]I just don't want a lawsuit.
Oh, my God, this is the most[br]amazing place I've ever been.
This is the coatroom.[br]The club's in there.
What's up ..?
- Get a hold of yourself.[br]- It's hottie overload in here.
- Just pace yourself.[br]- What's up? Two, three, four.
What's up? Two, three, four ...
- Sweet![br]- Sweet!
Richie, good to see you. Get over here.
- The place is kicking.[br]- Jumping like "21 Jump Street".
Who are your friends?
- The owner.[br]- The man we want to be.
- I thought we wanted to be Grieco.[br]- Professionally, it's this guy.
Dooey, my main man. I love[br]this man. Meet the Butabi brothers.
These are good boys.[br]Did you grab my ass?
- No, sir. I did not grab your ass.[br]- It's okay if you did.
I understand. It's just that[br]you're barking up the wrong tree.
- You guys come here a lot?[br]- All the time.
- But we've never been inside.[br]- Watch what you're saying.
So, is Johnny Depp meeting you here?
All right ... Listen, Bennie,[br]see you later. See you, guys.
- See you, Richard Grieco.[br]- See you, Grieco's lady.
I'm honoured to shoot the shit with[br]the owner of the club of all clubs.
- And we're proficient club hoppers.[br]- We usually go to the Mudd Club.
- That place is rank.[br]- They let any asswad in the door.
- I own that place also.[br]- It's a really good location, though.
No, you're right. One day[br]you're hot, the next day you're not.
Actually, I had an idea for a club.
- Wait. Did you grab my ass?[br]- No.
- Do you want to?[br]- No. Should I?
People waiting outside are bummed,[br]'cos they're trying to get in.
What if the outside of the club[br]looked like the inside?
With couches and music and all that.[br]But then on the inside ...
... it looks like the street.[br]You know, cars and signs.
The outside is the inside[br]and the inside is the outside.
Doesn't that blow your mind?
- What about that guy?[br]- Owns a restaurant. One.
- Boy, has this place gone downhill.[br]- No one over six figures. Let's go.
- Wait. That's that Zadir guy.[br]- Who are those guys with him?
If they're with Zadir,[br]they've got to be worth something.
Great. Let's work.
- Tell him about the vampire idea.[br]- That's a dumb idea.
I have to say hello to Jim Carrey.
Come here,[br]you pet detective bastard.
"Smoking", you crazy son of a bitch.
- Was I too pushy? Did I speak well?[br]- You were totally articulate.
It's hard to pitch in a nightclub.[br]The music is way too loud in here.
We have to get a meeting. Steve ..?
- You want to dance?[br]- Yes.
- All right. Take it easy.[br]- She said yes.
Hotties wanna shake it. Come on.
That's some good ass-grabbing[br]going on there.
1 980. Good year.
Excellent year. Devo had a huge hit.
- And "Joanie Loves Chachi" started.[br]- Chachi gives a fuck about Joanie.
Cambi makes a good point.[br]But tonight we have some fun.
- Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir.[br]- But you know what makes a party?
- Fluffy whip.[br]- But not putting it on stuff.
You press the little white nozzle[br]and you suck on it. It's fun.
- You mean, like, nitrous oxide?[br]- No. What is that?
Dooey, we have to stop and get[br]some fluffy whip for the party.
- Yes, sir.[br]- lt has to be in a can.
He can't hear you.
Hey, Dooey, tell your mom[br]I had a nice time last night.
- And your dad.[br]- What?
- I mean, your sister.[br]- Good one!
- Only in a Limo.[br]- We nailed him.
- And that alien was Robin Williams.[br]- I'll be right back.
- It's my boss's card.[br]- I'll take care of that.
- Operator 238, please.[br]- Hello, Doug.
- Guess where we went tonight.[br]- The One-Stop Market on Ventura?
No, I mean before that,[br]you sly, little credit vixen.
I give up, you nasty card-swiper.
- The Roxbury. Come out some time.[br]- I would.
But then who would approve[br]all the money you spend?
- You're always thinking of me.[br]- The card's good. Bye, Doug.
She approved. Approved.
- Sweet-ass dwelling, Mr. Zadir.[br]- It's a place to hang my hat.
Look. A hundred thousand dollar[br]sound system, and nobody's dancing.
If I may congest, the pool is taking[br]up the prime dancing real estate.
If you put glass over the pool,[br]it would be like dancing on water.
- And people love to do that.[br]- Let's not talk business now.
Let's set up a meeting.
Anna Nicole? Put something on.[br]You're making us sick.
- Let's mingle.[br]- Right.
This ltalian food tastes so good.[br]It's, like, Mexican.
- Could you pass me a towel, please?[br]- Good. How are you?
- They're right behind you.[br]- BMW ... Vanilla, mostly.
- There you are.[br]- We got scared.
- Of who? We'll kick his ass.[br]- No.
We got scared[br]somebody stole you away from us.
Like some other girls[br]would steal us away ...
Oh, right. Oh!
So, do you guys wanna go some place[br]we can be alone?
No ... Yes! Oh, man.
- Why does it taste so sweet?[br]- 'Cos it's like candy.
These are real.[br]They'll be dead in a week.
You know what I always thought[br]would make a cool 'Twilight Zone"?
Like, we see a picture[br]of this lady, -
- but to this lady, are we just[br]a picture of us? Ever think of that?
Why don't you come over here?
Vivica, you know what I heard[br]when I first met you?
- What are you doing?[br]- That's an ambulance.
Coming to take me away.[br]The sight of you stopped my heart.
Cambi, do you like blueberries[br]or strawberries?
I wanna know what kind of pancakes[br]to order you in the morning.
- I was wondering ...[br]- What are you doing?
Checking your label.[br]Just as I thought. Made in heaven.
Doug. You've gotten past[br]the opening lines.
- ls that a mirror in your pocket?[br]- What?
I could see myseIf in your pants.
If I said you had a nice body,[br]would you hold it against me?
I was there. I was, like, "Emilio!"[br]And Doug was going cra ...
And Steve was, like, "Emilio!"[br]Oh, God, if you were only there.
I feel like a selfish pig, going on[br]about myself. What about you?
Where are you from?[br]Any brothers or sisters? Any family?
- Pets, what about pets?[br]- I got a cat.
Really? A cat? lnteresting.
I think of you more as a dog person.[br]Maybe a Pomeranian. Lhasa Apso.
Something small, warm, fuzzy ...
ls this your first time?
Yes. lsn't it yours?
- ls this your first time?[br]- What?
Are you serious?[br]Oh, you're hilarious.
Oh, man. You're funny.[br]Hey, Steve? You're a funny girl.
All right. Hey, where are you going?
- Oh, my God.[br]- Did you just? 'Cos I just ...
Not that it hasn't happened before.[br]lt was okay.
I'm gonna go back in and ...
- Hey, Steve?[br]- Yeah, Doug?
- You got a number.[br]- We got a number.
I got some great office supplies[br]for our new nightclub business.
Post-lt notes to annotate important[br]documents.
Little ones. You write smaller than[br]me. Mugs with our names on them.
Yours say Doug.[br]Did you call Mr. Zadir?
Before you talk to a man like Mr. Zadir,[br]you have to have a plan of attack.
I'd like to schedule a meeting.[br]Can you do ... 1 2:30?
Let me see.
- I'm clear.[br]- You know what?
Let's have a pre-meeting[br]to brainstorm before our meeting.
Yeah, that way we don't[br]look like idiots at our meeting.
- I'm sorry. Register's closed.[br]- Sorry.
Mr. Butabi,[br]where's the other cash register?
Steve? I was just thinking. Dad[br]would be really proud of us right now.
What are you idiots doing? I pay you[br]to take money and push a button.
Are your delicate fingers injured?
- We're working our asses off.[br]- Our weeks filling up quick.
We've made[br]important business contacts.
Dancing the Macarena[br]with Donald Trump?
You're always telling us[br]to do something with our lives.
You never support us or care about[br]what's important to us, right?
- Yeah ... for the most part.[br]- Even your brother isn't convinced.
Why? He uses his brain, unlike you.[br]You're a loser! New policy.
No more clubs.[br]Yes! Your life is retail.
- Go clean the stockroom.[br]- You know what?
Not only will we not clean out[br]the stockroom, we're out of here!
What about the stockroom?
We don't need you.[br]We made huge-ass contacts last night.
Plus we met these girls, Dad.
We'll make it without you.[br]You'lI see.
I'lI see when you come home, begging[br]for food and shelter. Morons!
Steve? You're an ass, Doug.[br]You want to go to the beach later?
I know a beach where you don't have[br]to wear a bathing suit.
- Plus with my milky white skin ...[br]- This is a major family crisis.
Just give me a call if you wanna[br]go out. Or just call me anyway.
You notice we forgot to ask her[br]something. That's weird.
We're in serious relationships right[br]now, and our ladies can trust us.
Why go out for burgers,[br]when you got steak at home?
- Are you all right?[br]- Yeah, fine.
- Doug and Steve Butabi.[br]- You're brothers?
- We can't get into that right now.[br]- Your names are not on the list.
We have a meeting.
- Doug, Mr. Zadir![br]- Security.
- Dooey ... Yeah. Up top.[br]- Main man.
- Raging party last night.[br]- ls that what my mother told you?
- What?[br]- The fluffy whip was a big hit.
- I was sent out looking for more.[br]- You, sir, are a party animal.
It's been great spending quality[br]time, but we're meeting Mr. Zadir.
Zadir was drunk last night.[br]He doesn't even remember you.
You think you're the first losers[br]I've had to get rid of on a Monday?
- Are we being blown off?[br]- Actually, you're being kicked out.
That doesn't feel good at all ...
- What's going on?[br]- Just some trespassers.
- And the boys from last night?[br]- I haven't located them yet.
Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
From where I'm standing,[br]that's a physical impossibility.
I know your tricks, Dooey.
Maybe we should just go back to work.
Maybe we should go to college, not[br]put gel in our hair and wear jeans!
- Let's do that, Steve![br]- Sorry.
- We had a pretty sweet time, right?[br]- Sweet-ass time.
So you do travel to places[br]other than Japan.
- These hotties are sweet.[br]- Sweet ass sweet.
- Who is it?[br]- Just a bunch of pound signs.
- Are you doing it right?[br]- You have to hit the pound sign.
You have to put in our number[br]and then hit the pound sign.
Excuse me, Bill Nye, the science guy.
That's a sweet show, too.
Cambi, it's your boyfriend.[br]Look, I need to see you.
- I'm at the Skybar.[br]- We'll be rig there.
- Nice.[br]- I was focused the whole time.
Did you have a good time last night?
I had a great time.[br]I think we've reached a point -
- where I can call you Viv[br]and leave out the "ica".
You wanna hang out[br]or do what we did last night?
- Or eat, then do what we did?[br]- Sounds good.
- Have your boarding passes ready.[br]- You'lI have to check your bag.
The movie on this flight will be ...[br]I can't think of any more.
- Where's your car?[br]- Our dad got mad, took it away.
We used to work for him, but we quit[br]today. Actually, we're unemployed.
- You don't work with Mr. Zadir?[br]- We just met him last night.
- We will be. So no, but yes.[br]- If we ever get to see him again.
- You don't need boarding passes.[br]- Get away from us.
- You guys are a big waste of time.[br]- Como what?
- Steve, you're a jerkoff.[br]- I'm glad you shared that with me.
- It's a big step for both of us.[br]- Consider last night a favor.
Now do us a favor.[br]Never talk to us again!
- What did we do? We'll change.[br]- You can't change.
You are ugly, pathetic losers.
I can't believe we actually had sex[br]with these asswads!
That's the problem. Poor schmucks[br]look just the same as rich schmucks.
- No ... Yes ...[br]- This is the worst day of my life.
I'd really appreciate it[br]if you didn't talk to me right now.
I don't know how to respond to that.
Big surprise. You don't know how to[br]work the clubs, talk to the ladies.
You only know how to ask me[br]how to do everything!
That's why everything has gone[br]wrong. You're holding me back.
You're like this thing tied to my[br]leg, this dragging thing on a chain.
- A lead weight?[br]- Yes, thank you. But not anymore!
Nothing. That's all. Nothing.
You can't blame me. Today was just[br]a series of random events gone awry.
Maybe they wouldn't go awry[br]if I had someone next to me with a brain!
You know what? Dad was right.[br]You are a loser.
You know what, Steve?[br]I lied. You're not good looking.
Did you say something? I can't hear[br]things from that low to the ground.
- Consider me your ex-brother.[br]- I don't care.
Care about this?[br]You want the real thing?
- Do you want ..?[br]- Stop talking to me.
Fine. My pleasure.
Little Post-lts, you little idiot.
Get out, 'cos I hate you.
- You should take a lesson from it.[br]- Grieco.
- You'll be very happy with these.[br]- How long do they last?
They last forever. They're silk.[br]They'll always be in bloom.
They'll never die, never change.[br]Never say you're not good looking.
They'll always be in your room, not[br]suddenly move to the guest house.
Something has come up. Excuse me.
- All the customers are depressed.[br]- It's just that I miss Doug.
- He's in the guest house. It's a mansion.[br]- There's no cable.
- Yes, there is. They have Cinemax.[br]- But there's no HBO. God!
- Feel it right here. Squeeze.[br]- Hey, Steve.
I heard about your brother.
- So when are we gonna go out?[br]- I know a place with spinach wraps.
I know you've had you heart set on[br]this, but the truth is, I'm a rebel.
You're like this[br]sweet-girl-from-next-door type.
I go to college. Translation: Drunken[br]orgies with occasional Cliff notes.
lt sounds good, but I just got out[br]of this very serious relationship.
I have to nurse my emotional wounds.
That could take till ... Saturday.
That's perfect. Your dad got us tickets[br]for David Copperfield this Saturday.
It's gonna be so much fun[br]to see things appear and disappear.
I'lI see you.
- Oh, man. Great glutes.[br]- I don't care.
- That's expensive.[br]- Gotta go.
Who decorates like this?[br]Steve, come on.
"Business. Human Relationships[br]in Management."
"Covers the development of ..."
Here's one. "Business Computer[br]Systems." That's a good one.
Machines are Doug's thing.[br]I'm more of a people person.
A business man must have knowledge[br]of computers. Come on.
Here's another one.[br]"Venture Management."
Gosh, Emily, school?[br]I'lI have to read, and homework ...
Teachers saying: "Would you share[br]that with the rest of the class?"
Do you want me to be less horny?
- No, that wouldn't be good.[br]- Look, here's what we do.
First, we combine the stores, okay?[br]Then we can add the furniture.
Recliners and sofa beds ...
- And end tables and ...[br]- Chairs.
- Oh, yes, chairs.[br]- Ottomans.
Yes, ottomans. We're gonna be bigger[br]than lkea ... Home Depot.
I think we're moving way too fast.[br]You're talking like we're married.
Oh, Steve.[br]You just made me so happy.
What? No, I don't mean that.
It's just that I don't ...
Doug, if I'm not mistaken,[br]this place has got it going on!
I owe you big time for inviting me.
Who wants to dance?[br]I call this one the sprinkler.
You think it would be okay to wear[br]this to your brother's wedding?
Your brother's wedding, man.[br]What are you gonna wear?
You have to hand it to Steve.[br]That Emily is the perfect woman.
Strong legs, tight stomach,[br]positive mental attitude ...
- She can really keep you on track.[br]- Shut up .. ! ldiot.
Just because you and your brother[br]are having problems, -
- that's no reason to refer to my[br]intellect in a diminutive manner.
I'm sorry. It's just ...
Can we not talk[br]about my brother for a second?
- 1 0-4. Boundary set.[br]- Thank you.
I'm having a hell of a time.
At this moment, I want to make[br]a toast to Steve and Emily, -
- who after tomorrow[br]will be Mr. and Mrs. Steven Butabi.
- Emily Sanderson-Butabi.[br]- Whoever.
I would like to thank my parents,[br]who came in all the way from Maine.
- Despite Mom's sciatica.[br]- Terrific, sir.
And the Butabis, who came in[br]all the way from Yayman.
- Yemen.[br]- And that's not the only union.
- We got a new lamp-plant store.[br]- Plant-lamp store. Much better.
- Seriously, it sounds better.[br]- Steve?
You want to make a toast?
I think you should make a toast.[br]All the men are making toasts.
Okay, I just want to say,[br]"What's up, Grandma, Grandpa?"
And to the other two old people,[br]"What's up?"
- Yeah, you.[br]- Very nice.
Steve is thrilled[br]that this family's coming together.
I'd like to show you some of our[br]business plans for after the merger.
Dad? ls there any way[br]we can cancel this whole thing?
- Yes ... No![br]- That is so funny.
But it's like Emily turned out to be[br]this whole different other person.
Let me explain something.
The caterer has been paid.[br]Your grandparents came.
All men are nervous[br]the night before their wedding.
All guys are nervous and kind of[br]hope she eats a can of botulism?
She could hang out with a deer and[br]accidentally be shot by a hunter.
You know, when she's sleeping she[br]makes that nose whistle sound, -
- and you want to ram her toothbrush[br]up her nostril into her skull.
These are perfectly normal feelings.
Doug, are you there? It's Steve.
Hi, you've reached Doug Butabi.[br]I'm outside living it up.
Unlike my pussywhipped brother -
- who's too busy throwing his life away[br]for Emily. Beep.
Doug? Sorry I missed you.[br]I guess I'm getting married -
- and I'm just wondering[br]if you wanted to be my best man.
Give me a call or page me.
I'm in our room still[br]across from the pool.
- Let's go over this one more time.[br]- I know my duties as best man.
I walk down the aisle.[br]I stand next to you.
- I settle interwedding skirmishes.[br]- No, no ...
You're the best man. Not the wedding[br]bouncer. You just back me up.
Like, if things get too heavy,[br]I step in like a spotter.
- Yeah, right.[br]- Thanks, man.
Let's go. We're ready, let's go.
Do you want your kid blessed or not?
- Richard Grieco. You know Steve?[br]- I just don't want to be sued.
No, listen to me. You can't get your[br]kid confirmed for less than $1 50.
You want your kid blessed,[br]you call me.
Dad, I didn't have a bachelor party.[br]That's a major part of a wedding.
So could we delay a couple of hours[br]so that we could go to a strip club?
I have to go. Leave me a message.
Hey ... Steve getting married.[br]You're the man!
Shut up, Craig. I'm walking[br]down the aisle, you dick!
I told you to wear white.[br]Grandma, get off the phone.
Dearly beloved. We're gathered[br]here today to join ...
Did we already start? Oh.
I thought there was supposed[br]to be a buzzer or a whistle or something.
... to join together this man[br]and this woman in holy matrimony.
But first I understand the bride and[br]groom have each prepared something.
"Dear Steve. They say if you set[br]something free and it comes back -
- you should love it forever.[br]Like one of your silk plants, -
- I'll try to stay beautiful. I know[br]our lives together will be great."
"Just like when we saw David[br]Copperfield on our first date."
"I used to see you outside[br]my father's store -
- and then we went on some dates[br]and you let me have sex with you."
Oh, I'm done.
If anyone has reason to believe[br]that this man or woman -
- should not be married, speak now[br]or forever hold your peace.
- What's up? From out of town?[br]- Don't hit on the bridesmaid.
- It's your wedding.[br]- Wait till after the ceremony.
Do you promise to love Emily for[br]as long as you both shall live?
My dad already paid the caterer.
Do you promise to love Steven for[br]as long as you both shall live?
- Steven, repeat after me.[br]- After me.
- With this ring, I thee wed.[br]- With this ring, I thee wed.
With this ring ...
- What the hell's he doing here?[br]- Make him stop.
Turn that music off!
You know[br]what I paid for this wedding?
Don't do that with your head.[br]That's so dumb!
- Mr. Butabi, I can't ...[br]- Keep going. You want to get paid?
- You're out of my will![br]- I told you he was a jerk!
Emily ... Sorry. I'm not ready yet.
- Steve, stop![br]- Nice poem, though. Sorry, Dad.
Steve, come back here![br]Don't you leave me. I'm not kidding.
Mr. Butabi, as an actor and observer[br]of human nature, I can tell you -
- that your son is not ready[br]for this sort of commitment.
- Hello.[br]- Hey.
- Go ahead, Father.[br]- What are you doing?
Emily, Steve's discipline is lacking[br]as is his appreciation for you.
Now, I can bench press 305 pound,[br]and my body fat is less than 2%.
I am a professional trainer. I also[br]hope to market my own protein bar.
Plus, I've always loved you.
Okay. But we should[br]look into infomercials.
- This is a completely new fee. Cool?[br]- Yeah.
Okay. Dearly beloved,[br]we're gathered here again today ...
Also, I took Craig clubbing.
That was all right.
Plus I rented a lot of videos.[br]I didn't do much else.
Look, Steve ...
I'm sorry.[br]I said a lot of bad things before.
I've been thinking ...[br]You're my brother.
We're brothers,[br]and when we're together ...
I just ...
You don't drag me down.
I drag me down.
And you ...
You complete me.
- Shut up.[br]- What?
Just shut up.[br]You had me at "hello".
lt seems to me, you're a bit harder[br]on Doug than you are on Steve.
It's true. It's just that Doug is[br]so rebellious. I can't control him.
But rebellious, scrappy, dreamer ...
What other young man[br]does that remind you of?
- MyseIf as a kid.[br]- So who are you really fighting with?
Mr. Grieco ...[br]You see right through me.
I missed this car.[br]I look good in it.
And you look good also.
Thanks.[br]Glad you moved back into the room.
Dad was cool about the wedding[br]after his chat with Grieco.
And it really improved[br]your relationship with him.
- ls that an outside nightclub?[br]- That's your idea.
Pull over. Let's check it out.
- We only let people in on the list.[br]- We're on the list.
- Steve and Doug Butabi.[br]- Step right in.
- Go right in.[br]- I guess we should go in then.
- We're gonna go in.[br]- We're going in.
I can't believe we got in.[br]Sure it wasn't a mistake?
- It's weird to be in here.[br]- But they stole your idea.
Butabis? I've been looking[br]all over for you. Come here!
- Mr. Zadir![br]- How do you like our club?
- Our club?[br]- I cut you in. lt was your idea.
- Sweet ass sweet.[br]- Running a club is hard work.
- Don't worry about it.[br]- We're workaholics.
Dooey just called from Pismo Beach.[br]He says he didn't grab your ass.
What is he up to now?
- Oh, my God![br]- Oh, my God!
- Let's do some business.[br]- All right.
- Put some cherries on that.[br]- Nice call.
- Mr. Butabi, can you approve this?[br]- That looks fine and all that.
- Hi, Mr. Barntabi.[br]- It's Butabi, but that's okay.
How's the hair?[br]Successful-club-owner good?
That voice sounds so familiar.
- Are you ..?[br]- Doug?
- Credit vixen?[br]- My God, I can't believe this.
You're even more beautiful[br]than you sound.
- You stopped calling.[br]- Not because I didn't want to.
Am I what you expected?
I totally approve.
- You're not here with anyone?[br]- Just my friend.
Hottie police officer?
I was really looking forward[br]to meeting you in court on June 6th.
- So, do you guys wanna dance?[br]- No.
- Yes.[br]- Yes.
- Oh, I love this song.[br]- I'm getting kind of sick of it.
I broke the window again.
Na Cha The Great
Na Tum Jaano Na Hum
Na samote u lesa
Naissance de lAmour La
Naked Ambition CD1
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Navigators The 2001
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Ningen Gokaku (Kiyoshi Kurosawa 1998]
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No End 1985
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Noam Chomsky Distorted Morality (2003)
Nobodys Fool 1994
Nocturne (1980 I)
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Non ti muovere
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North by Northwest (1959)
Nosferatu eine Symphonie des Grauens
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Nothing Hill Collectors Edition
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Now Or Never 2003
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Nutty professor The (1963) Jerry Lewis