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Noi The Albino 2003

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Noi, I think youre going to be Iate for schooI.
Noi, youre going to be Iate for schooI.
HeIIo.
Kiddi! What are you doing here?
Ive come to raise my son. - Isnt that a IittIe bit Iate?
Oh, shut up Mum.
What are you hanging around for? Youre Iate for schooI.
Im coming.
I got this Ietter from your headmaster.
Hes taIking about poor attendance. Is it true, Noi?
How come YOU got this Ietter?
WeII, maybe because Im your father.
Youre a bright kid, but you Iack punctuaIity and discipIine.
Now...how is the expression...
PunctuaIity is the key to The TempIe of DiscipIine.
The TempIe of DiscipIine doesnt sound too cosy.
WeII, you know what I mean.
Sorry Im Iate.
Maybe evening schooI wouId suit you better, Noi?
Or a correspondence coIIege perhaps?
Is something going on? Yes, a maths exam is taking pIace.
Did we forget to send you an invitation?
Teacher sir? Can you Iend me a penciI?
Here you go.
Whats this supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Are you handing it in Iike this?
Yes.
And what mark do you think youII get for it?
Zero?
No, no, no! You get zero point five for writing your name!
ReaIIy? Thats better than I expected.
I dont serve customers without a proper greeting
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
III have a bottIe of maIt aIe.
Listen to this:
Either you get married or you dont get married,
You wiII regret both.
Laugh at the stupidity of the worId; You wiII regret it.
Cry over it; you wiII aIso regret it.
Laugh at the stupidity of the worId,
or cry over it; You wiII regret both.
Either you Iaugh at the stupidity of the worId,
or you cry over it; You wiII regret both.
Hang yourseIf; You wiII regret it. Dont hang yourseIf,
You wiII aIso regret it.
Hang yourseIf or dont hang yourseIf, You wiII regret both.
Either you hang yourseIf or you dont hang yourseIf, You wiII regret both.
This, my dear gentIemen, is the core of aII human wisdom.
What was that?
Some fucking piece of buIIshit.
Kierkegaard... = Graveyard... Thats a suiting name for such an idiot.
What are you doing?
No garbage in my store. I got to get organized.
Give it to me then.
I dont give things away.
Good afternoon. -Good afternoon.
Are you new around here?
Yes.
III have a bottIe of maIt-soda.
Drink it here? -What?
Do you want to drink it here?
WouId you Iike me to? -No. Not specificaIIy.
Then why do you ask? -Because there are two ways:
Either you drink it here and return the bottIe afterwards,
or you pay extra for the bottIe and take it with you.
Was that the onIy reason?
Are you retarded, or what?
No, just a joke.
Lets get it over with.
God damn it, kid.
Its uncanny how Iucky you are.
Have you seen the new girI at the petroI station?
You Ieave her aIone.
What do you mean?
Iris is my daughter
She needs to take a break from the crazy city Iife.
And if you dont Ieave her aIone, III break your neck!
Bonjour. Today III teach you how to make reaI mayonnaise.
To make mayonnaise youII need ..an egg...some oiI...mustard...
I start by breaking the egg
What is Ieft?
In IceIandic the yoke is red, in French the yoke is yeIIow.
Red equaIs yeIIow, OK? Write that down!
This onIy appIies to eggs.
I add the mustard...
Stir, and add the oiI.
I continue stirring.
Never ever switch hands... Never turn the other way around.
And never ever stop...
- Sorry to bother you, is Noi here?
WeII that is one way of Iooking at it.
Noi, can I have one word with you.
Is something wrong?
No, no.
Never ever stop.
Oh no,
unfortunateIy,
its ruined.
We have a Psychiatrist in the schooI for a coupIe of days
And I think it might be a good idea to Iet him take a Iook at you
What for?
Oh, just a IittIe check: See if everything is aIright.
Why me?
WeII, maybe because there have been a few incidents regarding you
And then its just spIendid to use this opportunity - Here.
Can I refuse?
Dont be siIIy. He is not going to hurt you. Just a IittIe chat.
Good afternoon. Have a seat.
Are we in a good mood today?
Yes. Guess so.
I have a few questions for you
Answer according to your best conscience,
and dont take too much time to think.
Ready? Yes.
Do you sometimes dream yourseIf?.
I dont know.
Do you hate animaIs?
Not at aII.
Do you waIk around in your sIeep?
Not that I know of.
Are you afraid of flying.
I never tried flying.
Do you see yourseIf as being dirty.
No.
How often do you masturbate?
Is this a part of the test or just personaI interest?
Yes, it is ...a part of the test.
How often do you masturbate?
You are answering the questions, not me.
If you answer me, III answer you.
Im not here to joke around if that is what you think.
I am here to heIp.
Lets just forget about this... here is an ID test.
III be right back.
EIvis!
Get out of the sofa.
EIvis Aaron! Your damn hair is aII over the pIace!
Sorry about the state Im in, my boy.
Ive got this awfuI toothache and I cant even Ieave the house.
Must be a Ioose fiIIing, Ive never suffered such pain before.
Thats better.
damnit.
Is it fun at schooI?
Its aIright.
Thats good.
Any cute girIs at schooI?
You havent started having sex yet?
Youre not homosexuaI, are you? - Shut up.
Listen,
III teach you a trick that never faiIs:
You ask the cutest chick: Have you put on some weight?
I promise you, she wont Ieave you aIone untiI you have...
SIept with her.
It never faiIs!
Just remember to use a condom.
Unwanted chiIdren dont Iet you know theyre coming, you know what I mean.
I think III go now. - ReaIIy? Am I being boring?
Drunk.
Sorry Noi. This toothache is just... - See ya.
III phone you next week and take you out to dinner. Ok?
OK.
HeIIo. - Hi, Kiddi here. Listen, Im in such pain I was wondering
Whether you couId cover my shift. - I dont know.
PIease Noi, do it for your oId man. You can get haIf if you want.
OK.
Thats the spirit. Just remember to be carefuI.
III be kiIIed if something goes wrong.
OK, bye.
III have a bottIe of maIt aIe ..III drink it here.
Can I have one?
Dont you know how to smoke?
Its no big deaI. Try again.
Dont suck Iike that,
just inhaIe twice sIowIy, first into your mouth, then into your Iungs.
Like you were saying ''Amen'' whiIe you inhaIe.
thats better.
Hi.
Good evening. - Is Dabbi home?
Greetings. - Hi.
Do you wanna go for a ride? - I have to do my homework.
Homework? Youve got your whoIe Iife to do that.
I dont know.
I think III just stay home. -CIose the door! I can feeI the draft.
Can I come in, then? There is something I have to teII you.
Some other time. Dad doesnt aIIow guests in the house.
Am I a guest? - Common, you know how Dad is.
David! CIose the door, I say.
See you Iater, then?
Aron. - Yes.
Benedikt. - Yes.
David?
Yes.
Marta. - Yes.
Marteinn. - Yes.
Noi?
Not here.
AIfred? - What?
Noi is sort of here...
Sort of here? Either you are here or not.
As far as I can see, Noi is cIearIy not here.
OIof?. - Yes.
AIfred? He gave me this substitute. He was very busy
and toId me to record the whoIe thing.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
And now for some exercises you can easiIy practice at home...
Iift and bend down, Iift and...
Last but not Ieast, Iets do the yanka-move...
Ieft, Ieft, right, right, forward, backwards, forward...
I cant stand it anymore. Ive tried but now Ive had enough.
Noi must be expeIIed.
What is it now?
Hes driving me nuts. - Oh, dear.
He thinks he can skip schooI by recording the Iessons with this.
Fucking neat gadget, man.
The psychiatrist thinks he is a wonder kid.
Oh, yeah? ReaIIy!?
I cant beIieve youre going to take some
smart ass from the city seriousIy.
There, there.
What are you going to do?
ShouIdnt we wait a whiIe and see if things dont settIe down somehow?
I cant take it anymore. Either Nois expeIIed from this schooI
or III resign, immediateIy.
Liver. Noi, the Iiver!
I need to get going.
Going where?
A date.
Fat chance. You arent going anywhere untiI we finished this.
Bring the bIood.
Where do you want it? - Over there.
How about your pIace? - No way.
Dont you have a pIan then?
Not reaIIy. Just to be with you, I guess.
This coId is kiIIing me.
I know a pIace where we can go
A party - Where?
YouII see.
Watch out!
What are you doing?
Im so coId.
I dont want to be here. This pIace is spooky.
Spooky? Its the wiIdest party pIace in town.
Scared? - Not at aII.
Is someone there?
Try to press IceIand.
Its not an option.
There is no IceIand.
Look at IceIand. Its Iike a spit.
Want to run away?
Where to?
Press a button.
AIways a surprise to see a white raven
Come with me right away. Theres something we ought to discuss.
ActuaIIy, I have a cIass right now - That wiII have to wait.
PIease, have a seat.
Things have reached the point now where
we have no idea what to do in your case.
You are a notoriousIy bad student and what is more:
Your Iack of discipIine and respect for this educationaI institution
is atrocious, and
not the kind of exampIe your cIassmates shouId foIIow.
Ive aIways Iiked you, Noi.
I think you have more in you than your performance shows.
But the Iast straw
is this tape recorder
showing up in schooI instead of you.
What direction do you think the schooI wouId take
If other students behaved Iike you? Everybodys trying to heIp you
But you proudIy ignore aII signs Ieading onto the right path.
I cant see any soIution but to expeI you from this schooI at once.
I am sorry.
I understand you perfectIy, Thorarinn, I may not have fitted...
Noi. Dont.
One finaI warning?
Too Iate. The teachers are threatening to resign.
I cant afford Ioosing more peopIe.
PIease. My Dad wiII go crazy. Cant we reach an agreement?
There is no time for nonsense.
Its ridicuIous.
Why are you in this schooI? Because of your Dad?
THERE ARE NO SONGS IN THIS BLODDY FUCKING PIANO!!!
Whats going on?
Theres no music in that heap of trash.
ShouId I come back Iater?
No, no. Take a seat and be happy.
I can easiIy come back if youre in a bad mood.
Sit down, Noi. TaIk to me.
Noi,
Dont throw it aII away Iike I did.
Ive been expeIIed from schooI.
Dont joke with me, pIease.
Im trying to honest for once so dont joke with me.
Im not joking. Those jerks threw me out.
How can you do this to me?
How can you treat me...
ReIax. Its not you that got expeIIed.
Are you mouthing at me, you fucking creep?
Are you trying to be a big man in my house?
Submit?
No.
Submit?
Ouch! OK, I submit.
Sorry, Noi.
I just cant stand this kind of thing.
Lets not think about it, anymore.
Thorarinn headmaster has ruined our day
but he is not going to ruin our evening as weII.
Now, Iets go out for dinner.
Stand up, Noi.
Why?
Come and give me a hug.
Dont be ridicuIous.
PIease. Stand up.
Just one IittIe hug.
My dear IittIe boy.
We make quite a team together.
Lets have a drink.
What do you want?
One Iarge beer. - You heard the gentIeman, sir.
Do you have any ID?
Its my son. III keep an eye on him.
I never serve I aIcohoI to customers beIow twenty.
A pIeasure seeing men taking their profession seriousIy!
Give the boy some Iemonade.
And how about a straw, sir?
YeIIow straw, pIease.
Happy famiIy?
How about a song, boys? Bring out the Iist.
Number eighteen.
What in the worId do you think youre doing?
HeIIo?
Is somebody out there?
Noi? What on earth are you doing on my roof?.
Didnt I teII you to keep your hands off Iris?
Iris is a good girI. - Yes, yes.
She deserves something better than a creep with a bIoody nose.
Have you been fighting? - No, just a stroke of bad Iuck.
Youre a good kid.
But stiII not exactIy a prince on the white horse.
I mean: What do you pIan to be?
A Iawyer.
Lawyer?
Whats going on?
What are you two Iaughing at? What are you doing here?
I shouId be going.
You can stay here if you want.
ActuaIIy, thats out of the question.
Its the middIe of night, Dad. - Its stiII out of the question.
Why not? Theres pIenty of room on the sofa. Come, Noi.
III just go home. - No, no, you can go home tomorrow.
HeIIo, GyIfi.
How do you do?
CouId you pIease teII Noi his future.
He has been expeIIed from schooI.
I am afraid hes foIIowing the wrong path.
ActuaIIy, Im retiring from business. - Oh, I knew I couId count on you.
ObviousIy, he is not the academic type,
but if you couId trace a business-taIent
or craftmanship, pIease Iet him know.
He needs to be guided to a straight path.
AII right then. III see what I can do.
Thats wonderfuI, GyIfi. God bIess you.
Noi? Wake up! - Dont.
Get up boy!
Why? - If found a job for you.
What kind of a job?
Ive just spoken to the Reverend. He needs heIp at the graveyard.
Graveyard. Doing what? - Whatever drops by.
Drops by, my ass. TeII that Reverend Nerd to jump up his ass.
Ive just used MASSIVE connections to get us this job, Noi!
Take off youre shoes, Kiddi! - Oh, shut up, Mom.
Can you hear me?
Im on the waIkie-taIkie.
Where?
Noi, Im on the waIkie-taIkie Iying on the tabIe.
Noi, over.
Listen, I want you to dig me a grave.
If you move a IittIe to the East.
No, no, no. I said East.
Can you see me? - Sure. Im watching you right now.
Why dont you just come down here and show me then?
Im too far away. Im watching you through binocuIars.
Go aII the way to the East of the cemetery, paI.
Wheres East?
Dont you know the directions, kid?
Cant you just say right or Ieft, or hot/coId or something?
WeII, youre ice-coId at the moment.
Youre getting warmer.
No, no! Now youre beIow freezing point!
You are getting warmer again...
No, no! You are hopeIess. Im coming over.
Beside that grave is where you shouId dig the hoIe. - How big?
2.20 Iong, 1.20 wide and 3 metres deep.
HoIy cow! Three metres!! Are you crazy?
Not at aII. These are just government standards.
Its hopeIess to dig such a deep hoIe in this frost.
Lets make it 2.50 then, but dont teII anybody.
Two metres.
No, no. That wouId be a totaI scandaI.
Two twenty.
Two thirty is the absoIute minimum. I cant go beyond that.
OK.
And keep your mouth shut. This is just between the two of us.
Yes, sir.
PetroI Station, good afternoon. - Hi, Noi here.
Whats up? - Not much. Just dying of boredom as usuaI.
Are you coming over? - I have to go see GyIfi.
GyIfi, who?
The fortune teIIer.
GyIfithe Fortune TeIIer?
What for?
My grandmother thinks he can see some future for me.
Never, ever.
What do you mean?
Come to me instead. III teII you what he sees.
Can you aIso see peopIes fortune?
Of course not.
Its just that aII fortune teIIers in the worId
aIways say the same thing.
And what is that?
That in the future they see a Iot of money and
a journey to exotic pIaces,
and a new person, that brings Iove and happiness.
Sounds good to me.
Its just what everybody WANTS to hear, idiot.
Sounds just Iike reaIity to me.
What do you mean?
This new person might as weII be you
weve been pIanning to run away to exotic pIaces
aII we need is a IittIe bit of money and everything wiII work out for us.
In your dreams.
CouId we speed up a bit? Im onIy on my Iunch break.
The cup must dry a IittIe.
Lets have Iook.
I see changes ahead, as if...
Excuse me.
Something wrong?
Do you reaIIy want to know?
Yes.
There is nothing but imminent death in this cup.
What kind of a dopehead are you?
Give me aII youre money!
Noi? Is this a joke?
Give me the money or eIse III bIow your brains out.
There, there, Noi.
Whats going on? - SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE MONEY!
You shouIdnt pIay with firearms, you shouId be oId enough to know.
Beat it before I caII the poIice.
I wouId Iike to withdraw aII money from account 828.
FiII out these forms, pIease.
Lets see. These are very nice wooIIen suits. Try them.
Superior quaIity.
ExceIIent.
The suits are as good as it gets, and you fit them perfectIy.
Lets go.
Go where? - Lets run away from it aII.
Arent you coming?
Hurry up.
God damn, Iady! Youre starting to getting fat.
HeIIo.
HeIIo.
HELLO!
There is someone aIive down here!
HeIIo, Noi.
It was a great bIessing that you survived the avaIanche.
UnfortunateIy, not everyone was so Iucky.
It is unbeIievabIy painfuI for me to inform you that...
UnfortunateIy, the avaIanche took the Iives of your grandmother
and your father.
Now, I dont know where youre beIiefs Iies...
But I recommend that we say the Lords Prayer together.
I dont think I know the Lords Prayer.
Do you know another prayer?
No.
But its ok.
The number of fataIities in the avaIanche has been confirmed.
Ten peopIe Iost their Iives.
Their names wiII be read now.
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