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Nothing Hill Collectors Edition

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[INFORMATION] [TITLE] [AUTHOR]Gatito_007 [SOURCE] [PRG] [FILEPATH] [DELAY]0 [CD TRACK]0 [COMMENT] [END INFORMATION] [SUBTITLE] [COLF]&HFFFF00,[STYLE]bd,[SIZE]24,[FONT]Arial 00:00:00.00,00:00:00.10 02:23:25.21,02:23:27.14 So stay with us[br]because laterthis afternoon, 02:23:27.21,02:23:30.14 we're lucky enough[br]to be talking toAnna Scott, 02:23:30.21,02:23:31.98 Hollywood's biggeststarby far. 02:23:32.21,02:23:34.51 Miss Scott's latest film[br]is once again topping the charts. 02:25:27.58,02:25:28.25 Ofcourse l've seen herfilms... 02:25:28.25,02:25:29.81 Ofcourse l've seen herfilms... 02:25:29.92,02:25:32.28 andalways thought[br]she was, well, fabulous. 02:25:32.35,02:25:35.29 But, you know, a million, million miles[br]from the worldllive in... 02:25:35.36,02:25:40.02 which is here, Notting Hill,[br]my favorite bit ofLondon. 02:25:40.13,02:25:44.19 There's the market on weekdays selling[br]everyfruit and vegetable known to man. 02:25:44.30,02:25:47.43 Rock-hard bananas,[br]five for a pound ! 02:25:47.50,02:25:50.27 The tattooparlor[br]with aguy outside whogot drunk... 02:25:50.34,02:25:53.80 andnowcan't remember[br]why he chose "l love Ken. " 02:25:53.87,02:25:55.97 The radicalhairdressers... 02:25:56.04,02:25:58.27 where everyone comes out[br]looking like the Cookie Monster, 02:25:58.35,02:26:00.61 whetherthey want to ornot. 02:26:00.68,02:26:02.77 Andthen, suddenly,[br]it's the weekend, 02:26:02.85,02:26:05.51 andfrom break ofday hundreds[br]ofstalls appearout ofnowhere, 02:26:05.62,02:26:08.28 filling Portobello Road,[br]right up to Notting Hill Gate. 02:26:08.36,02:26:11.88 And whereveryou look thousands of[br]people are buying millions ofantiques, 02:26:11.99,02:26:17.12 somegenuine andsome...[br]not quitesogenuine. 02:26:17.20,02:26:20.89 And what'sgreat is that lots offriends[br]have endedup in thispart ofLondon. 02:26:21.00,02:26:24.49 That's Tony, forexample,[br]architect turnedchef, 02:26:24.57,02:26:28.01 who recently investedall the money[br]he everearnedin a newrestaurant. 02:26:28.08,02:26:31.24 Andso, this is where[br]lspendmy days andyears... 02:26:31.34,02:26:35.14 in this small village in the middle of[br]the city in a house with a blue door... 02:26:35.22,02:26:38.58 that my wife andlbought together[br]before she left me fora man... 02:26:38.75,02:26:41.41 who lookedexactly like Harrison Ford. 02:26:41.49,02:26:44.46 And where lleada strange half-life[br]with a lodgercalled-- 02:26:44.56,02:26:46.46 Spike ! 02:26:51.63,02:26:54.66 You couldn't help me with an incredibly[br]important decision, could you ? 02:26:54.77,02:26:58.76 Important compared to, let's say,[br]whether they cancel Third World debt ? 02:26:58.84,02:27:01.97 That's right. I am at last going out[br]on a date with the greatJanine, 02:27:02.08,02:27:04.34 and I just wanna be sure[br]I've picked the right T-shirt. 02:27:04.44,02:27:07.35 - What are the choices ?[br]- Well, wait for it. 02:27:14.69,02:27:17.97 First there's this one.[br]Cool, huh ? 02:27:18.11,02:27:22.44 Yeah, it might make it hard[br]to strike a really romantic note. 02:27:22.54,02:27:24.44 Point taken.[br]Don't despair. 02:27:24.55,02:27:28.24 If it's romance we're looking for,[br]I believe I havejust the thing. 02:27:32.45,02:27:36.39 Yeah, well, there again, she might not[br]thinkyou had true love on your mind. 02:27:36.46,02:27:39.48 Right.[br]Just one more. 02:27:45.13,02:27:47.62 True love here lcome. 02:27:52.67,02:27:57.08 Well, yeah. Yeah, that's--[br]that's, um, perfect. 02:27:57.15,02:28:00.14 Great. Thanks. 02:28:00.25,02:28:03.51 - Wish me luck.[br]- Good luck. 02:28:08.92,02:28:11.48 Andso it was[br]just anotherhopeless Wednesday, 02:28:11.59,02:28:14.32 asl walkedthe thousandyards[br]through the market to work, 02:28:14.43,02:28:18.92 neversuspecting that this was the day[br]that wasgonna change my life forever. 02:28:19.00,02:28:22.46 This is work, by the way,[br]my little travelbookshop, 02:28:23.61,02:28:26.63 - Morning, Martin.[br]- Morning, Monsignor. 02:28:26.71,02:28:29.70 which, um, well, sells travelbooks, 02:28:29.81,02:28:33.18 and, to be frank withyou,[br]doesn 't always sellmany ofthose. 02:28:36.85,02:28:40.38 Classic.[br]Profit from major sales push, 02:28:40.49,02:28:43.62 minus 347. 02:28:45.16,02:28:48.79 Shall I, uh,[br]go and get you a cappuccino ? 02:28:48.86,02:28:51.86 - You know, ease the pain a bit.[br]- Yeah, yeah. 02:28:51.97,02:28:55.03 Better make it a half.[br]All I can afford. 02:28:55.14,02:28:59.97 Get your logic.[br]Demi-cappu coming right up. 02:29:24.17,02:29:26.53 Um, can I help you at all ? 02:29:27.94,02:29:31.24 No, thanks.[br]I'll just... look around. 02:29:32.34,02:29:35.17 Fine. 02:29:40.58,02:29:43.78 Uh, that book's really not great. 02:29:43.89,02:29:47.91 Just in case, you know, browsing turned[br]to buying. You'd be wasting your money. 02:29:48.02,02:29:50.46 But if it's Turkey[br]you're interested in, 02:29:50.56,02:29:53.59 um, this one, on the other hand,[br]is very good. 02:29:53.70,02:29:57.89 Um, I think the man who wrote it has[br]actually been to Turkey, which helps. 02:29:57.97,02:30:01.87 Um, there's also[br]a very amusing incident with a kebab, 02:30:01.94,02:30:04.70 um, which is one[br]of many amusing incidents. 02:30:04.77,02:30:06.74 Thanks.[br]I'll think about it. 02:30:06.81,02:30:09.30 Or, in the biggerhardback variety,[br]there's-- 02:30:09.41,02:30:13.47 l'm sorry.[br]Canyoujustgive me a second? 02:30:16.62,02:30:18.81 Excuse me. 02:30:18.92,02:30:20.95 - Yes ?[br]- Bad news. 02:30:21.06,02:30:22.46 What ? 02:30:22.66,02:30:26.12 We've got a security camera[br]in this bit ofthe shop. 02:30:26.23,02:30:27.46 So ? 02:30:27.56,02:30:30.26 So I saw you put that book[br]down your trousers. 02:30:31.63,02:30:35.83 - What book ?[br]- The one down your trousers. 02:30:35.94,02:30:38.50 I don't have a book[br]down my trousers. 02:30:38.61,02:30:40.58 Right. 02:30:40.64,02:30:42.94 ltellyou what.[br]Um, l'll call thepolice, and, um, 02:30:43.01,02:30:46.81 if I'm wrong about the whole[br]"book down the trousers" scenario, 02:30:46.92,02:30:48.31 I really apologize. 02:30:48.42,02:30:53.79 Okay. What if... I did[br]have a book down my trousers ? 02:30:53.86,02:30:56.69 Well, ideally,[br]when l went back to the desk, 02:30:56.79,02:31:01.86 you'd remove the Cadogan Guide[br]to Bali from your trousers... 02:31:01.96,02:31:05.16 and either wipe it[br]and put it back or buy it. 02:31:05.27,02:31:07.63 I'll see you in a sec. 02:31:07.70,02:31:10.17 I'm sorry about that. 02:31:10.27,02:31:12.76 No, it's fi ne. 02:31:12.84,02:31:16.71 I was gonna steal one,[br]but now I've changed my mind. 02:31:16.81,02:31:19.71 Oh, signed by the author,[br]I see. 02:31:19.82,02:31:22.15 Um, yeah, couldn't stop him. 02:31:22.22,02:31:25.12 Ifyou can fi nd an unsigned one,[br]it's worth an absolute fortune. 02:31:27.16,02:31:28.18 Excuse me. 02:31:28.29,02:31:30.28 - Yes ?[br]- Can I have your autograph ? 02:31:30.36,02:31:32.83 Uh, sure. 02:31:35.13,02:31:38.62 - What's your name ?[br]- Rufus. 02:31:43.34,02:31:45.33 What does it say ? 02:31:45.41,02:31:50.47 That's my signature. And above it, it[br]says, "Dear Rufus, you belong in jail." 02:31:50.55,02:31:52.64 Good one. 02:31:54.42,02:31:57.98 - Do you want my phone number ?[br]- Tempting. 02:31:58.05,02:32:00.89 But... no.[br]Thankyou. 02:32:04.76,02:32:07.66 I will take this one. 02:32:07.73,02:32:10.20 Oh, right, right.[br]So, uh-- 02:32:10.27,02:32:14.33 Well, on second thoughts,[br]um, maybe it's not that bad after all. 02:32:14.40,02:32:17.27 Actually, it's a sort[br]ofa classic, really. 02:32:17.37,02:32:20.93 None ofthose childish kebab stories[br]you fi nd in so many books these days. 02:32:21.04,02:32:22.94 And, um, I tell you what. 02:32:23.04,02:32:25.01 I'll throw in[br]one ofthose for free. 02:32:25.08,02:32:27.61 Useful for, uh, lighting fi res, 02:32:27.72,02:32:30.62 wrapping fish,[br]that sort ofthing. 02:32:33.56,02:32:36.05 - Thanks.[br]- Pleasure. 02:33:07.22,02:33:11.56 Cappuccino, as ordered. 02:33:11.63,02:33:13.65 Thanks. 02:33:13.76,02:33:16.82 I don't thinkyou'll believe[br]who wasjust in here. 02:33:16.93,02:33:19.77 Who ?[br]Was it someone famous ? 02:33:23.34,02:33:25.43 Would be exciting, though,[br]wouldn't it, 02:33:25.51,02:33:27.84 ifsomeone famous[br]came into the shop ? Hmm ? 02:33:27.94,02:33:31.90 Do you know--[br]and this is pretty amazing, actually-- 02:33:31.98,02:33:34.24 but I once saw Ringo Starr. 02:33:34.32,02:33:36.61 - Where was that ?[br]- Kensington High Street. 02:33:36.69,02:33:38.62 At least I think it was Ringo. 02:33:38.69,02:33:41.42 It might have been that man[br]from Fiddleron the Roof. 02:33:41.49,02:33:44.15 - You know, Toppy.[br]- Topol. 02:33:44.26,02:33:46.92 Yes, that's right.[br]Topol. 02:33:47.00,02:33:48.93 Mm-hmm. 02:33:49.00,02:33:52.87 Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't--[br]doesn't look at all like, uh, Topol. 02:33:52.97,02:33:56.03 Yeah, but he was--[br]he was quite a long way away from me. 02:33:56.14,02:33:59.20 So actually it could've[br]been neither ofthem. 02:33:59.31,02:34:02.14 Yes, I suppose so, yes. 02:34:02.21,02:34:06.65 - It's not a classic anecdote, is it ?[br]- Not a classic, no. No. 02:34:10.45,02:34:14.86 - Another one ?[br]- Yes. No. 02:34:14.96,02:34:18.39 Let's go crazy.[br]I'll have an orangejuice. 02:34:35.74,02:34:38.74 - Oh, my God ![br]- Bugger ! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 02:34:38.85,02:34:41.68 - Here. Let me--[br]- Get your hands off ! 02:34:41.75,02:34:44.55 l'm reallysorry.[br]l-- llivejust overthestreet. 02:34:44.65,02:34:47.85 I have, um, water and soap.[br]You can get cleaned up. 02:34:47.92,02:34:50.15 No, thankyou.[br]I just need to get my car back. 02:34:50.23,02:34:53.56 I also have a phone.[br]I'm confident that in five minutes... 02:34:53.66,02:34:56.60 we could have you spick-and-span[br]and back on the street again. 02:34:56.70,02:34:59.39 In the non-prostitute sense,[br]obviously. 02:35:02.54,02:35:05.70 All right. Well-- What do you mean,[br]"just over the street" ? 02:35:05.77,02:35:07.27 - Give it to me in yards.[br]- Uh, 1 8 yards. 02:35:07.27,02:35:09.50 - Give it to me in yards.[br]- Uh, 1 8 yards. 02:35:09.57,02:35:12.83 That's my house there[br]with the blue front door. 02:35:15.74,02:35:19.01 Come on in.[br]I'll just-- I'll just-- 02:35:22.08,02:35:27.18 Um, right. Right.[br]Come in. 02:35:27.25,02:35:30.65 It's, um, not quite as tidy[br]as it normally is, I fear. 02:35:30.72,02:35:33.89 But, um--[br]The bathroom's on the top floor. 02:35:33.99,02:35:37.86 And the telephone'sjust--[br]just up here. 02:35:39.40,02:35:41.73 Here.[br]Let-- Let me, um-- 02:35:47.54,02:35:51.00 Um, round the corner.[br]Straight on-- straight on up. 02:35:54.78,02:35:56.71 Bugger. 02:36:18.37,02:36:21.53 Would you like a cup oftea[br]before you go ? 02:36:21.61,02:36:23.97 - No.[br]- Coffee ? 02:36:24.08,02:36:26.81 - No.[br]- Orangejuice ? 02:36:27.95,02:36:32.41 Probably not.[br]Um, something else cold. 02:36:36.32,02:36:38.62 Coke ? Water ? 02:36:38.72,02:36:40.62 Some disgusting sugary drink... 02:36:40.73,02:36:42.79 pretending to have something to do[br]with fruits ofthe forest ? 02:36:42.90,02:36:45.92 - No.[br]- Would you like something to eat ? 02:36:46.00,02:36:48.26 Uh, something to nibble ? 02:36:48.33,02:36:52.17 Um, apricots soaked in honey ? 02:36:52.27,02:36:55.67 Quite why, no one knows, because[br]it stops them tasting ofapricots... 02:36:55.77,02:36:58.11 and makes them taste like honey, 02:36:58.18,02:37:03.14 and ifyou wanted honey, you'd just[br]buy honey instead of... apricots. 02:37:03.25,02:37:05.68 Um, but nevertheless,[br]there we go there. 02:37:05.78,02:37:07.91 They're yours ifyou want them. 02:37:12.42,02:37:14.79 Do you always say "no"[br]to everything ? 02:37:20.20,02:37:22.83 I'd better be going. 02:37:22.94,02:37:26.17 Thanks foryour, uh, help. 02:37:26.27,02:37:28.17 You're welcome. 02:37:28.27,02:37:33.61 And, uh, may I also say,[br]um, heavenly. 02:37:33.68,02:37:36.61 I'll just take[br]my one chance to say it. 02:37:36.68,02:37:38.95 Afteryou've read[br]that terrible book, 02:37:39.02,02:37:41.35 you're certainly not going[br]to be coming back to the shop. 02:37:41.45,02:37:44.05 Thankyou. 02:37:44.16,02:37:48.12 Yeah.[br]Well, my pleasure. 02:37:58.67,02:38:01.40 So... 02:38:01.51,02:38:03.53 it was nice to meet you. 02:38:03.64,02:38:07.87 Surreal but, um-- but nice. 02:38:09.98,02:38:11.88 Sorry. 02:38:19.39,02:38:22.85 "Surreal but nice" ?[br]What was I thinking ? 02:38:37.18,02:38:41.20 - I forgot my other bag.[br]- Oh, right. Right. 02:38:50.06,02:38:51.96 Thanks. 02:39:22.55,02:39:27.29 I'm very sorry about[br]the "surreal but nice" comment. 02:39:27.39,02:39:29.83 - Disaster.[br]- That's okay. 02:39:29.93,02:39:34.66 I thought the apricot and honey thing[br]was the real low point. 02:39:36.84,02:39:39.57 Oh, my God.[br]My flatmate. 02:39:39.64,02:39:42.30 I'm sorry.[br]There's no excuse for him. 02:39:46.91,02:39:49.24 I'm just going into the kitchen[br]to get some food. 02:39:49.31,02:39:53.68 Then I'll tell you a story[br]that will make your balls shrink[br]to the size of raisins. 02:39:58.62,02:40:02.19 Probably best[br]not to tell anyone about this. 02:40:02.29,02:40:05.26 Right. Right.[br]No one. 02:40:05.33,02:40:07.63 I mean, I'll tell myselfsometimes. 02:40:07.70,02:40:10.33 But don't worry.[br]I won't believe it. 02:40:30.39,02:40:33.52 There's something wrong[br]with this yogurt. 02:40:35.39,02:40:38.52 It's not yogurt.[br]It's mayonnaise. 02:40:38.63,02:40:40.62 Oh, right.[br]There we are then. 02:40:42.57,02:40:45.50 On fora videofest tonight ? 02:40:46.87,02:40:50.04 I got some absolute classics. 02:40:52.64,02:40:55.67 - Smile.[br]- No. 02:40:59.02,02:41:03.25 - Smile.[br]- I've got nothing to smile about. 02:41:12.33,02:41:14.23 Okay. 02:41:14.33,02:41:16.93 In about seven seconds, 02:41:17.04,02:41:19.70 I'm going to askyou[br]to marry me. 02:41:26.38,02:41:28.94 lmagine. 02:41:29.05,02:41:33.88 Somewhere in the world[br]there's a man who's allowedto kiss her. 02:41:36.42,02:41:39.12 Yes, she is, uh, 02:41:39.22,02:41:43.06 fairly fabulous. 02:41:51.14,02:41:53.70 - Do you have any books by Dickens ?[br]- No. 02:41:53.77,02:41:58.23 No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop.[br]We only sell travel books. 02:41:59.91,02:42:03.14 Oh, right. How about[br]the newJohn Grisham thriller ? 02:42:04.58,02:42:08.58 Well, no, 'cause that's, uh--[br]that's a novel too, isn't it ? 02:42:08.65,02:42:11.49 Oh, right. 02:42:12.66,02:42:17.93 Have you got Winnie the Pooh ? 02:42:19.50,02:42:21.97 Martin, your customer. 02:42:22.07,02:42:24.09 Uh, can I help you ? 02:42:42.19,02:42:45.78 Just, um, incidentally, 02:42:45.86,02:42:48.85 uh, why...[br]are you wearing that ? 02:42:48.96,02:42:52.66 Combination offactors really.[br]Uh, no clean clothes. 02:42:52.76,02:42:56.63 There never willbe, you know,[br]unlessyou actually cleanyourclothes. 02:42:56.70,02:42:59.14 Right.[br]Vicious circle. 02:42:59.20,02:43:01.87 And I was, like,[br]rooting around in your things... 02:43:01.97,02:43:04.00 and I found this,[br]and I thought "cool." 02:43:05.63,02:43:08.26 Kinda... spacey. 02:43:11.40,02:43:14.27 There's something wrong[br]with the goggles, though. 02:43:14.34,02:43:17.24 No, they were, um, prescription. 02:43:17.31,02:43:20.94 -Groovy.[br]-So I could see all the fishes properly. 02:43:21.01,02:43:23.64 You should do more[br]ofthis stuff. 02:43:23.75,02:43:27.68 - So, look, any messages today ?[br]- Yeah, I wrote a couple down. 02:43:27.78,02:43:31.15 So there were two.[br]There were two messages ? Right ? 02:43:33.12,02:43:36.42 You want me to write down[br]all your messages ? 02:43:36.49,02:43:40.62 Okay, who are the ones[br]that you didn't write down from ? 02:43:42.53,02:43:43.97 No. Gone completely. 02:43:44.03,02:43:45.97 Oh, no.[br]There was one from your mum. 02:43:46.04,02:43:48.66 She said don't forget lunch,[br]and her leg's hurting again. 02:43:48.77,02:43:51.30 - No one else ?[br]-Absolutely no one else. 02:43:54.78,02:43:58.04 Though ifwe're going for this obsessive[br]writing down all the message thing, 02:43:58.15,02:44:01.55 some American girl called Anna[br]called a few days ago. 02:44:07.12,02:44:10.02 - What did she say ?[br]- Well, it was genuinely bizarre. 02:44:10.13,02:44:15.56 She said, "Hi. It's Anna."[br]Then she said, "Call me at The Ritz"... 02:44:15.67,02:44:19.12 and then gave herself[br]a completely different name. 02:44:19.20,02:44:23.14 - Which was ?[br]- Absolutely no idea. 02:44:23.21,02:44:25.64 Remembering one name's hard enough. 02:44:25.71,02:44:27.97 No, I-- I know that.[br]She-- She said that. 02:44:28.04,02:44:30.31 Um, I know she's using another name. 02:44:30.38,02:44:33.84 The problem is[br]she left the message with my flatmate... 02:44:33.92,02:44:35.85 which was a very serious mistake. 02:44:35.92,02:44:40.22 Um, I don't know. Imagine, ifyou will,[br]the stupidest person you've ever met. 02:44:40.32,02:44:44.52 - Are you doing that ?[br]- Yes, sir, I have him in my mind. 02:44:44.59,02:44:47.89 And now double it.[br]And that is the, um-- what can I say-- 02:44:48.00,02:44:50.52 the git that I am living with. 02:44:50.60,02:44:52.00 And he can't remember-- 02:44:52.07,02:44:55.16 - Try Flintstone.[br]- I'm sorry, what ? 02:44:55.24,02:44:58.70 I think she said[br]her name was Flintstone. 02:45:00.74,02:45:05.70 I don't-- I don't suppose, um,[br]Flintstone rings any bells, does it ? 02:45:05.78,02:45:09.05 - Oh, I'll put you right through, sir.[br]- Oh, my God. 02:45:11.72,02:45:14.85 Hello. Hi. 02:45:14.92,02:45:16.86 - Hi there.[br]- Hello ? 02:45:18.93,02:45:22.69 - Sorry. It's William... Thacker.[br]- Yes ? 02:45:22.77,02:45:25.29 Um, we-- I work in a bookshop. 02:45:29.31,02:45:32.54 Oh, no, I promise you I've never played[br]anything cool in my entire life. 02:45:32.61,02:45:36.10 My flatmate, who'll I'll stab to death[br]later, never gave me the message. 02:45:37.71,02:45:40.31 I don't know.[br]Perhaps, um, 02:45:40.42,02:45:44.75 I could drop round[br]for tea later or something. 02:45:47.26,02:45:49.82 Right. Right. Great. 02:45:58.30,02:46:00.27 Classic. 02:46:05.14,02:46:07.11 Classic. 02:46:45.01,02:46:47.68 - Which floor ?[br]- Three, please. 02:47:16.15,02:47:18.84 Uh, are you sure this is-- 02:47:18.92,02:47:21.65 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure. 02:47:32.90,02:47:34.83 - Hi. Hi. I'm Karen.[br]- Hi. 02:47:34.90,02:47:37.42 I'm sorry.[br]Things are running a little bit late. 02:47:37.53,02:47:41.59 Here's the, uh, thing.[br]Do you wanna come this way ? 02:47:41.70,02:47:44.40 Through here. 02:47:48.51,02:47:50.91 So what did you[br]think ofthe fi lm ? 02:47:51.01,02:47:53.78 Yeah, I thought it was fantastic.[br]I thought it was, uh, 02:47:53.88,02:47:57.41 Close Encounters[br]meetsJean de Florette. 02:47:59.52,02:48:01.42 I agree. 02:48:01.52,02:48:04.43 I'm sorry. I didn't get down[br]what magazines you're from. 02:48:04.53,02:48:06.96 - Time Out.[br]- Great. 02:48:07.06,02:48:10.06 And you're from ? 02:48:15.20,02:48:17.07 Horse & Hound. 02:48:21.48,02:48:25.07 The name's William Thacker. I think,[br]actually, she might be expecting me. 02:48:25.15,02:48:27.95 Oh, okay.[br]Take a seat and I'll go check. 02:48:31.55,02:48:34.92 I see you've, uh--[br]I see you've brought her some flowers. 02:48:37.99,02:48:41.33 These are for my,[br]um, grandmother. 02:48:41.43,02:48:44.16 She's in a hospital[br]just down the road. 02:48:44.27,02:48:46.96 Thought I'd kill two birds[br]with one stone, you know. 02:48:47.07,02:48:50.30 Sure, right.[br]Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 02:48:50.41,02:48:53.10 Which hospital's that ? 02:48:53.18,02:48:56.77 Do you mind me not saying ?[br]It's a rather distressing disease. 02:48:56.85,02:48:58.94 Name ofthe hospital[br]kind of gives it away. 02:49:02.52,02:49:05.32 Right, uh, Mr. Thacker.[br]Will you come this way. 02:49:05.42,02:49:07.79 Right. 02:49:07.86,02:49:10.76 You've got five minutes. 02:49:19.50,02:49:22.70 - Hi.[br]- Hello. 02:49:22.81,02:49:26.71 Uh, I brought these, but clearly-- 02:49:26.81,02:49:30.61 No, they're great.[br]They're great. 02:49:30.68,02:49:33.55 Ah, listen,[br]I'm sorry about not ringing back. 02:49:33.65,02:49:35.55 The whole "two-names concept"... 02:49:35.65,02:49:38.14 was totally too much for my flatmate's[br]pea-sized intellect. 02:49:38.22,02:49:42.06 No, it's a stupid privacy thing.[br]I always pick a... cartoon character. 02:49:42.16,02:49:44.32 Last time I was Mrs. Bambi. 02:49:47.23,02:49:50.46 - Everything all right ?[br]- Yes, thankyou. 02:49:50.53,02:49:53.33 And you're from, uh,[br]Horse & Hound. 02:49:56.07,02:49:58.84 Is that so ? Well. 02:50:04.81,02:50:06.91 So, uh-- 02:50:10.02,02:50:15.25 Uh, I'll just... fi re away then,[br]shall I ? 02:50:16.86,02:50:18.88 Right. 02:50:22.37,02:50:25.66 The fi lm's great, and, um, 02:50:25.74,02:50:28.73 I just was wondering whether... 02:50:28.84,02:50:30.93 you ever thought of having, um, 02:50:31.04,02:50:34.77 more, uh, horses in it. 02:50:37.91,02:50:41.44 Uh, well, we would have liked to, 02:50:41.55,02:50:46.89 but it was, um, difficult,[br]obviously, being set in space. 02:50:48.39,02:50:52.23 Space, right, yeah.[br]Yeah, obviously very difficult. 02:50:53.60,02:50:55.53 I'm so sorry.[br]I arrived outside. 02:50:55.60,02:50:57.57 They thrust this thing[br]into my hand-- 02:50:57.63,02:51:00.93 No, it's my fault.[br]I thought this would all be over by now. 02:51:01.04,02:51:03.73 I just wanted to sort ofapologize[br]for the kissing thing. 02:51:03.81,02:51:05.74 I seriously don't know[br]what came over me. 02:51:05.81,02:51:08.80 And I just wanted to make sure[br]that you were fi ne about it. 02:51:10.65,02:51:15.24 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely fi ne. 02:51:16.22,02:51:20.32 Do rememberthat Miss Scott is also[br]keen to talk about hernextproject... 02:51:20.42,02:51:24.12 which is, um, shooting[br]later in the summer. 02:51:24.23,02:51:27.66 Ah, yes, excellent.[br]Excellent. 02:51:32.64,02:51:36.77 Any horses in that one ? 02:51:36.84,02:51:42.28 Or hounds for that matter. Our readers[br]are equally intrigued by both species. 02:51:42.35,02:51:45.14 It takes place on a submarine. 02:51:45.25,02:51:48.68 Oh. Well, bad luck. 02:51:50.12,02:51:52.68 But, um, 02:51:52.79,02:51:55.09 ifthere were horses in it, 02:51:55.16,02:51:57.75 would you be riding them... 02:51:57.83,02:52:02.46 or would you be getting, a--[br]a stunt-horse-double-man-thing ? 02:52:04.87,02:52:09.70 I-I'm a complete moron.[br]I apologize. I-- 02:52:09.81,02:52:13.67 This is very weird. It's the sort[br]ofthing that happens in dreams, 02:52:13.78,02:52:16.34 not in reallife. 02:52:16.45,02:52:18.88 I mean, good dreams.[br]It's a-- 02:52:18.98,02:52:22.54 It's a dream, in fact,[br]uh, to see you again. 02:52:24.15,02:52:27.82 What happens next in the dream ? 02:52:29.66,02:52:34.03 I suppose in the, uh, dream-- 02:52:34.13,02:52:37.66 dream scenario--[br]I just, uh, 02:52:37.73,02:52:39.89 change my personality... 02:52:40.00,02:52:42.66 because you can do that[br]in dreams and, um, 02:52:45.01,02:52:49.24 walk overand, uh, kiss thegirl. 02:52:49.35,02:52:52.01 But, uh-- 02:52:59.69,02:53:03.39 Time's up, l'm afraid.[br]Didyouget whatyou wanted? 02:53:03.49,02:53:06.92 - Um, nearly, nearly.[br]- Well, maybejust one last question. 02:53:06.92,02:53:08.65 - Um, nearly, nearly.[br]- Well, maybejust one last question. 02:53:10.06,02:53:12.68 - Sure.[br]- Right, right. 02:53:16.33,02:53:19.73 Are you... busy tonight ? 02:53:19.83,02:53:24.70 - Yes.[br]- Right. Right. 02:53:26.31,02:53:30.24 - Come in.[br]- Well, it was nice to meet you. 02:53:30.34,02:53:32.57 Yes, and you. 02:53:32.68,02:53:35.08 Surreal... but nice. 02:53:35.18,02:53:39.55 Thankyou. You are Horse & Hound's[br]favorite actress. 02:53:40.92,02:53:43.39 You and Black Beauty... 02:53:43.49,02:53:45.39 tied. 02:53:50.53,02:53:52.43 How was she ? 02:53:52.53,02:53:55.99 Oh, um, fabulous. 02:53:56.07,02:54:00.16 Excellent. Wait a minute.[br]She tookyour grandmother's flowers. 02:54:00.24,02:54:03.77 Uh, yeah, yeah.[br]That's right. 02:54:03.88,02:54:05.94 - Bitch.[br]- Oh, Mr. Thacker. 02:54:06.05,02:54:10.45 Mr. Thacker, ifyou'd like to come with[br]me, we can rush you through the others. 02:54:10.55,02:54:11.95 The others ? 02:54:12.05,02:54:14.61 Mr. Thacker is from Horse & Hound. 02:54:17.59,02:54:20.02 - How's it going ?[br]- Very well, thankyou. 02:54:20.09,02:54:21.53 Have a seat. 02:54:23.63,02:54:26.79 Well, did you enjoy the fi lm ? 02:54:26.90,02:54:29.96 Yes, enormously. 02:54:30.07,02:54:31.90 - Well, fi re away.[br]- Right. 02:54:33.44,02:54:35.77 Did you enjoy making the fi lm ? 02:54:35.87,02:54:39.74 - Yes, I did.[br]- Good. 02:54:39.81,02:54:42.28 Any bit in particular ? 02:54:42.38,02:54:45.48 You tell me what bit[br]you enjoyed the most, 02:54:45.58,02:54:48.58 and I'll tell you[br]if I enjoyed making that bit. 02:54:50.59,02:54:54.32 Uh, I... 02:54:54.43,02:54:57.42 liked the bit in space... 02:54:57.50,02:54:59.43 very much. 02:54:59.50,02:55:03.09 Didyou identify with the character[br]you'replaying ? 02:55:12.81,02:55:16.61 Oh. Why not ? 02:55:23.02,02:55:26.69 Because he's playing[br]a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. 02:55:26.79,02:55:28.99 Classic. 02:55:29.09,02:55:31.86 So, uh, 02:55:31.96,02:55:34.52 is this your fi rst fi lm ? 02:55:34.63,02:55:37.47 No. It's my 22nd. 02:55:37.54,02:55:41.47 Ofcourse it is.[br]Any favorites among the 22 ? 02:55:42.94,02:55:44.84 Working with Leonardo. 02:55:44.94,02:55:48.97 - Da Vinci ?[br]- DiCaprio. 02:55:49.05,02:55:51.88 Ofcourse. 02:55:51.98,02:55:55.98 And is-- is he your favorite[br]Italian director ? 02:56:00.53,02:56:03.65 - Mr. Thacker.[br]- Oh, no. 02:56:03.73,02:56:06.53 - Have you got a minute ?[br]- No. 02:56:18.21,02:56:21.91 Um-- Yeah, so the, um-- 02:56:22.01,02:56:26.25 the-- the thing I was doing tonight,[br]I'm not doing anymore. 02:56:26.35,02:56:28.82 I told them I had[br]to spend the evening... 02:56:28.89,02:56:32.69 with Britain's premier[br]equestrian journalist. 02:56:32.76,02:56:35.85 Oh. Well, great. 02:56:35.93,02:56:38.09 Fantastic.[br]That's, uh-- 02:56:38.20,02:56:41.43 Oh. Shittity brickitty. 02:56:41.53,02:56:45.06 It's my sister's birthday. Shit.[br]We're meant to be having dinner. 02:56:45.17,02:56:48.04 - Okay, that's fi ne.[br]- No. I'm sure I can get out of it. 02:56:48.11,02:56:51.57 No, I mean, if it's fi ne with you,[br]I'll be your date. 02:56:53.18,02:56:56.24 You--[br]You'll be my date... 02:56:56.35,02:56:59.04 to my little sister's[br]birthday party ? 02:56:59.12,02:57:02.88 - If it's all right.[br]- Well, yeah, l'm sure it's allright. 02:57:02.96,02:57:04.79 My friend Max is cooking, 02:57:04.89,02:57:07.88 and he is generally acknowledged[br]to be the worst cook in the world. 02:57:07.96,02:57:12.40 But, um, you know, you could hide[br]the food in your handbag or something. 02:57:12.46,02:57:16.73 - Okay.[br]- Okay. 02:57:18.74,02:57:22.61 - He's bringing a girl ?[br]- Miracles do happen. 02:57:22.71,02:57:26.77 - Does the girl have a name ?[br]- Don't know. Wouldn't say. 02:57:26.88,02:57:29.58 Oh, Christ ![br]What is going on in there ? 02:57:29.65,02:57:33.45 Oh, God ! 02:57:35.65,02:57:38.45 Hi. Come on in.[br]Vague food crisis. 02:57:44.40,02:57:46.39 Hiya ! Sorry. 02:57:46.47,02:57:49.40 Theguinea fowlisproving[br]more complicatedthan expected. 02:57:49.47,02:57:52.40 - He's cooking guinea-fowl ?[br]- Don't even ask. 02:57:55.44,02:57:58.00 Good Lord,[br]you're the spitting image of-- 02:57:58.11,02:58:00.10 Bella, this is Anna. 02:58:01.85,02:58:03.97 - Right.[br]- Okay, crisis over. 02:58:04.08,02:58:06.98 Max, this is Anna. 02:58:07.09,02:58:10.49 - Hi.[br]- Hello, Anna-- 02:58:10.59,02:58:13.32 Scott.[br]Have some wine. 02:58:13.43,02:58:15.66 Thankyou. 02:58:15.76,02:58:17.49 I'll get it. 02:58:20.50,02:58:22.43 Red or white ? 02:58:22.50,02:58:25.27 - Oh. Hey.[br]- Hi. 02:58:25.34,02:58:28.86 - Oh, yes, happy birthday.[br]- Thankyou. 02:58:28.97,02:58:31.17 Look, your brother's[br]brought this girl. 02:58:31.28,02:58:32.68 Hi, guys. 02:58:34.01,02:58:36.00 Oh, holy fuck ! 02:58:36.11,02:58:39.55 Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey.[br]She's my baby sister. 02:58:39.65,02:58:41.64 Oh. Hi. 02:58:41.72,02:58:44.62 Oh, God. This is one[br]ofthose key moments in life... 02:58:44.69,02:58:47.63 when it's possible[br]you can be really genuinely cool... 02:58:47.69,02:58:52.86 and I-- I'm going to fail[br]just a hundred percent. 02:58:54.90,02:58:59.34 I-- I absolutely,[br]totally and utterly adore you. 02:58:59.40,02:59:03.70 And I just think... you are[br]the most beautiful woman in the world. 02:59:03.81,02:59:06.97 And, more importantly,[br]I genuinely believe, 02:59:07.05,02:59:11.98 and I've believed for some time now,[br]that we could be best friends. 02:59:12.05,02:59:15.02 So what do you think ? 02:59:17.06,02:59:19.02 Uh, lucky me. 02:59:20.99,02:59:23.69 Well, happy birthday. 02:59:23.76,02:59:28.83 Oh, you gave me a present.[br]We're best friends already then. 02:59:28.90,02:59:31.60 Marry Will. He's a really nice guy.[br]Then we can be sisters. 02:59:31.70,02:59:34.04 Well, I'll think about it. 02:59:35.91,02:59:38.43 That'll be Bernie. 02:59:39.68,02:59:41.94 - Hi.[br]- Hi. Sorry I'm late. 02:59:42.05,02:59:44.95 Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. 02:59:45.05,02:59:47.58 - Millions down the drain.[br]- Well done. 02:59:47.69,02:59:50.78 - Bernie, this is Anna.[br]- Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you. 02:59:50.89,02:59:54.76 -And you.[br]-Honey bunny, Happy birthday toyou 02:59:54.86,02:59:57.62 - Hi, Bella.[br]- Hi. 02:59:57.73,03:00:01.36 Um, it-- it-- it's a hat.[br]You don't have to wear it or anything. 03:00:01.43,03:00:04.37 - Hi, Will.[br]- Hi. 03:00:07.31,03:00:09.93 - Hi.[br]- What ? 03:00:10.04,03:00:11.98 - Wine, Bernie ?[br]- Mm. 03:00:12.08,03:00:14.48 You haven't slept with her, have you ? 03:00:14.58,03:00:16.98 That is a cheap question, and[br]the answer is, or course, no comment. 03:00:17.08,03:00:18.98 - No comment means "yes."[br]- No, it doesn't. 03:00:19.08,03:00:20.98 - Do you ever masturbate ?[br]- Defi nitely no comment. 03:00:21.09,03:00:23.71 - You see, it means "yes."[br]- Oh, my God ! 03:00:23.79,03:00:28.32 So, uh, tell me,[br]um, Anna, what do you do ? 03:00:28.43,03:00:32.16 - I'm an actress.[br]- Oh, splendid. 03:00:32.26,03:00:34.26 What do you do ? 03:00:34.33,03:00:38.10 I'm actually in the stock market myself,[br]so, uh, not really similar fields. 03:00:38.17,03:00:41.30 Though, um-- um, I have done[br]the odd bit ofamateur stuff. 03:00:41.41,03:00:45.84 Um-- uh, P. G. Wodehouse.[br]Farce, all that, you know. 03:00:45.94,03:00:48.57 "Careful there, Vicar." 03:00:48.65,03:00:51.91 Always imagined it's a pretty tough job,[br]though, acting. 03:00:51.98,03:00:55.98 - The wages are a scandal, aren't they ?[br]- They can be. 03:00:56.09,03:00:58.02 I see friends from university--[br]clever chaps. 03:00:58.12,03:01:00.02 Been in the business longer than you. 03:01:00.13,03:01:04.86 They're scraping by on seven,[br]eight thousand a year. 03:01:04.96,03:01:07.26 You know, it's no life. 03:01:07.33,03:01:11.70 - What sort ofacting do you do ?[br]- Films, mainly. 03:01:11.80,03:01:16.67 Oh, splendid. Oh, well done.[br]How's the pay in movies ? 03:01:16.78,03:01:21.64 I mean, last fi lm you did,[br]what did you get paid ? 03:01:21.71,03:01:23.98 Fifteen million dollars. 03:01:25.02,03:01:26.95 Right. 03:01:27.02,03:01:31.22 So that's, well, fairly good. 03:01:31.32,03:01:33.35 Right, lthink we're ready. 03:01:35.46,03:01:37.36 Bella, can you tell me[br]where I can fi nd-- 03:01:37.46,03:01:39.49 Oh, sorry.[br]It's down the corridor on the right. 03:01:39.56,03:01:41.66 I'll show you. 03:01:44.57,03:01:47.06 Quickly, quickly.[br]Talk very, very quickly. 03:01:47.17,03:01:48.73 What are you doing here[br]with Anna Scott ? 03:01:48.84,03:01:50.83 - Anna Scott ?[br]- Yes. Shut up ! 03:01:50.91,03:01:52.90 - What, the fi lm star ?[br]- Shh ! 03:01:53.01,03:01:55.57 - Oh, God ![br]- What ? 03:01:55.68,03:01:58.51 - Oh, God. Oh, goddy God.[br]- What did you say to her ? 03:01:58.58,03:02:02.04 I don't believe it.[br]I actually walked into the loo with her. 03:02:02.15,03:02:04.99 I was still chatting[br]when she started unbuttoning herjeans. 03:02:05.06,03:02:07.49 - She had to ask me to leave.[br]- Oh, God. 03:02:07.56,03:02:09.55 So you knew who she was ? 03:02:09.59,03:02:11.86 Ofcourse I did, but he didn't. 03:02:11.93,03:02:16.03 Well, not instantly, but I-- I--[br]I got away with it. 03:02:19.07,03:02:23.84 - What do you think ofthe guinea-fowl ?[br]- I'm a vegetarian. 03:02:23.91,03:02:26.34 Oh, God. 03:02:26.41,03:02:29.21 So, how's the guinea-fowl ? 03:02:29.28,03:02:32.68 Best guinea-fowl[br]I've ever tasted. 03:03:06.46,03:03:10.42 Havingyou here, Anna, firmly[br]establishes what l've long suspected-- 03:03:10.53,03:03:13.30 that we really are the most[br]desperate lot of underachievers. 03:03:13.40,03:03:16.30 - Shame.[br]- I'm not saying it's a bad thing. 03:03:16.41,03:03:19.77 ln fact, lthinkit's something[br]we should takepride in. 03:03:19.88,03:03:23.11 I'm gonna give the last brownie[br]as a prize... 03:03:23.21,03:03:25.58 to the saddest act here. 03:03:25.65,03:03:28.38 - Uh-oh.[br]- Bern. 03:03:28.45,03:03:31.65 Yeah, allright.[br]Well, obviously, it's me, isn 't it ? 03:03:31.75,03:03:34.81 I mean, I work in the city in a job[br]I don't understand, 03:03:34.92,03:03:37.32 and everyone keeps[br]getting promoted above me. 03:03:37.43,03:03:39.95 I haven't had a girlfriend since--[br]well, since puberty. 03:03:40.06,03:03:43.09 And... nobody fancies me. 03:03:43.17,03:03:45.73 And ifthese cheeks get any chubbier,[br]they never will. 03:03:45.80,03:03:49.60 - Nonsense. I fancy you.[br]- Really ? 03:03:49.67,03:03:52.27 Yeah. Orldid[br]beforeyougotso fat. 03:03:52.34,03:03:55.28 Yousee.[br]Andunless l'm much mistaken, 03:03:55.34,03:03:57.97 yourjob still pays you[br]rather a lot of money... 03:03:58.08,03:04:00.48 whilst Honey here[br]earns 20 pence a week... 03:04:00.58,03:04:03.35 flogging her guts out[br]in London's worst record store. 03:04:03.45,03:04:06.58 Yes ! And I haven't got hair.[br]I've got feathers. 03:04:06.66,03:04:10.49 And I've got funny goggly eyes.[br]And I'm attracted to cruel men. 03:04:10.59,03:04:13.12 And, actually,[br]no one willmarry me... 03:04:13.20,03:04:16.32 because, um, my boosies[br]have actually started shrinking. 03:04:16.43,03:04:18.83 - Yousee, it's incrediblysad.[br]- But on the otherhand, 03:04:18.93,03:04:20.66 her best friend is Anna Scott. 03:04:20.77,03:04:24.21 That's true. I can't deny it.[br]She needs me. What can I say ? 03:04:25.37,03:04:28.97 And most of her limbs work, whereas[br]I'm stuck in this thing day and night, 03:04:29.04,03:04:31.04 in a house full of ramps. 03:04:31.15,03:04:34.01 And to add insult[br]to serious injury, 03:04:34.12,03:04:39.35 I've totally given up smoking,[br]my favorite thing. 03:04:39.45,03:04:43.79 And, um, well, the truth is, 03:04:43.86,03:04:46.05 we can't have a baby. 03:04:51.73,03:04:53.83 Oh, Belle. 03:04:53.90,03:04:57.36 C'est la vie. 03:04:59.04,03:05:02.91 Still, um, we're lucky in lots ofways. 03:05:03.01,03:05:06.00 But surely that's worth a brownie. 03:05:07.58,03:05:12.85 Well, I don't know.[br]Look at William. 03:05:12.92,03:05:16.08 - Veryunsuccessfulprofessionally.[br]- That's true. 03:05:16.19,03:05:21.03 Divorced. Used to be handsome,[br]now kind ofsquidgy round the edges. 03:05:22.23,03:05:25.03 Andabsolutely certain never[br]to hearfromAnna again... 03:05:25.10,03:05:28.16 - onceshe's heard that his[br]nickname atschool was--[br]- Floppy. 03:05:28.24,03:05:31.40 You did.[br]I can't believe it, you did. 03:05:31.51,03:05:34.87 Thanks very much. Thankyou.[br]Well, at least I get the last brownie. 03:05:34.94,03:05:36.88 lthinkso, yes. 03:05:36.95,03:05:38.91 Well, wait.[br]What about me ? 03:05:40.52,03:05:44.54 I'm sorry ?[br]You thinkyou deserve the brownie ? 03:05:44.62,03:05:48.85 Well, a shot at it at least, huh ? 03:05:48.92,03:05:51.86 You'll have to prove it.[br]This is a very, very good brownie. 03:05:51.93,03:05:54.59 I'm gonna fi ght for it. 03:05:54.70,03:05:58.03 I've been on a diet[br]every day since I was 1 9, 03:05:58.10,03:06:01.43 which basically means[br]I've been hungry for a decade. 03:06:03.71,03:06:07.27 I've had a series of not-nice[br]boyfriends, one ofwhom hit me. 03:06:07.38,03:06:10.40 Uh, andeverytime[br]lget my heart broken, 03:06:10.48,03:06:14.81 the newspapers splash it about[br]as though it's entertainment. 03:06:16.82,03:06:21.98 And... it's taken two rather painful,[br]um, operations... 03:06:22.09,03:06:24.06 to get me looking like this. 03:06:24.13,03:06:27.25 - Really ?[br]- Really. 03:06:29.43,03:06:34.16 Andone day not long from now,[br]my looks willgo, 03:06:34.27,03:06:37.10 they will discover I can't act, 03:06:37.17,03:06:42.01 and I will become[br]some sad, middle-aged woman... 03:06:42.11,03:06:46.95 who... looks a bit like someone[br]who was famous for a while. 03:06:54.86,03:06:57.32 No, nice try, gorgeous,[br]but you don't fool anyone. 03:07:00.10,03:07:02.03 Pathetic effort[br]to hog the brownie. 03:07:04.03,03:07:07.47 - Thankyou for such a terrific time.[br]- I'm delighted. 03:07:08.94,03:07:11.84 - That's a great tie.[br]- Now you're lying. 03:07:11.94,03:07:14.53 Okay, it's true.[br]I told you I was bad at acting. 03:07:14.64,03:07:17.04 - It was lovely to meet you.[br]- Yeah, and you. And you. 03:07:17.15,03:07:19.88 I'll wait until you've gone[br]before I tell him you're a vegetarian. 03:07:24.35,03:07:27.84 - Good night.[br]- I'm so sorry about the loo thing. 03:07:27.96,03:07:30.45 I meant to leave.[br]I just-- 03:07:30.53,03:07:32.96 Ring me ifyou want someone[br]to go shopping with. 03:07:33.03,03:07:36.56 I know lots of nice, cheap places,[br]not that money is necessarily-- 03:07:36.67,03:07:38.57 It wasjust so nice to meet you. 03:07:38.67,03:07:41.53 - Happy birthday. You're my style guru.[br]- Thankyou. 03:07:41.64,03:07:43.73 - Sorry. Can I just--[br]- Oh. 03:07:43.84,03:07:45.74 - Thanks.[br]- Leave her. 03:07:45.84,03:07:47.74 - Good night, everyone.[br]- Bye. 03:07:47.84,03:07:50.74 Max, Belle,[br]we'll see you in a couple ofdays. 03:07:50.85,03:07:53.34 - Thankyou, everybody. Call us.[br]- Bye, guys. 03:07:53.42,03:07:56.08 - Bye, Anna.[br]- Love your work. 03:07:56.18,03:07:58.58 Bye, Hon. 03:08:05.03,03:08:08.93 Sorry. They always do that[br]when I leave the house. 03:08:09.03,03:08:12.69 It's a stupid thing.[br]I hate it. 03:08:22.78,03:08:25.44 - "Floppy," huh ?[br]- It's the hair. 03:08:25.55,03:08:27.95 - Mm-hmm.[br]- It's to do with the hair. 03:08:30.55,03:08:32.85 Why is she in a wheelchair ? 03:08:32.92,03:08:37.36 Uh, because she had an accident[br]about 1 8 months ago. 03:08:37.43,03:08:40.59 And the pregnancy thing,[br]is that to do with the accident ? 03:08:40.70,03:08:42.09 You know, I'm not sure. 03:08:42.20,03:08:45.46 I don't think they tried for kids[br]before, as fate would have it. 03:08:53.98,03:08:56.97 Do you want to, um-- 03:08:57.08,03:09:00.21 My place isjust, um-- 03:09:00.28,03:09:02.44 Too complicated. 03:09:02.55,03:09:04.81 That's fi ne. 03:09:09.76,03:09:11.92 Busy tomorrow ? 03:09:14.00,03:09:17.43 - I thought you were leaving tomorrow.[br]- I was. 03:09:20.27,03:09:22.33 All these streets round here have... 03:09:22.44,03:09:24.91 these mysterious communal gardens[br]in the middle ofthem. 03:09:24.97,03:09:27.34 - They're like little villages.[br]- Let's go in. 03:09:27.44,03:09:30.00 Ah, no, that's the point.[br]They're private villages. 03:09:30.11,03:09:33.01 Only the people who live round the edges[br]are allowed in. 03:09:33.11,03:09:36.41 Oh. You abide by rules like that ? 03:09:36.48,03:09:38.82 I don't. No, no.[br]But others do. 03:09:38.92,03:09:41.29 I just do what I want. 03:09:41.36,03:09:44.29 Um-- Right. 03:09:47.60,03:09:50.43 Whoopsidaisies. 03:09:50.50,03:09:53.02 What did you say ? 03:09:53.13,03:09:55.76 - Nothing.[br]- Yes, you did. 03:09:55.84,03:09:59.97 - No, I didn't.[br]- You said, "Whoopsidaisies." 03:10:00.04,03:10:03.34 No one says, "Whoopsidaisies," do they ?[br]I mean, unless they're-- 03:10:03.45,03:10:06.78 There is no "unless." Because no one[br]has said "Whoopsidaisies" for 50 years. 03:10:06.85,03:10:10.72 And even then it was-- it wasjust[br]little girls with blonde ringlets. 03:10:10.82,03:10:14.98 Exactly. Right.[br]So here we go again. 03:10:16.89,03:10:19.83 Oh ! Oh ! Whoopsidaisies. 03:10:21.40,03:10:24.02 Yeah, well, it's a disease.[br]It's a clinical thing. 03:10:24.13,03:10:27.86 I'm taking pills and having injections.[br]And I'm told it won't last long. 03:10:27.97,03:10:30.90 - Okay, stand aside.[br]- I don't think that's a good idea. 03:10:31.01,03:10:34.00 Really, it's quite, um, tricky.[br]Anna. 03:10:35.68,03:10:39.84 Anna, don't. It's harder than it--[br]No, it's not. It's easy. 03:10:47.92,03:10:49.86 Come on, Flopsy. 03:10:49.92,03:10:52.09 Right. 03:10:52.19,03:10:54.68 All right. 03:10:54.76,03:10:58.72 Oh, bugger. 03:10:58.83,03:11:02.33 Oh, God,[br]this could be very unpleasant. 03:11:06.04,03:11:09.84 Ay ![br]Bugger, bugger. 03:11:13.38,03:11:18.69 Now what in the world in this garden[br]could make that ordeal worthwhile ? 03:11:31.94,03:11:34.67 Nice garden. 03:12:07.04,03:12:09.97 "ForJune who loved this garden. 03:12:10.07,03:12:13.37 FromJoseph who always sat beside her." 03:12:17.08,03:12:20.41 Some people do spend[br]their whole lives together. 03:12:54.85,03:12:56.79 Come and sit with me. 03:13:09.53,03:13:12.20 Bollocks ! Bollocks ! 03:13:12.30,03:13:15.17 - Have you seen my glasses ?[br]- No, afraid not. 03:13:15.27,03:13:19.44 Big, big bollocks ![br]Average day, my glasses are everywhere. 03:13:19.51,03:13:21.94 Everywhere I look[br]there's a pair of glasses. 03:13:22.01,03:13:24.71 But when I want to go to the cinema,[br]they've vanished. 03:13:24.82,03:13:26.72 It's one of life's real cruelties. 03:13:26.82,03:13:30.28 That's compared to, like,[br]earthquakes in the Far East[br]or testicular cancer, is it ? 03:13:30.35,03:13:32.69 Oh, shit.[br]Is that the time ? 03:13:32.79,03:13:36.35 Thanks for all your help[br]on the glasses thing. 03:13:36.46,03:13:38.79 Oh, you're welcome.[br]Did you fi nd them ? 03:13:38.86,03:13:40.83 - Sort of.[br]- Great. 03:14:11.03,03:14:12.93 So who left who ? 03:14:13.03,03:14:15.90 - Uh, she left me.[br]- Why ? 03:14:16.00,03:14:19.27 - She saw through me.[br]- Uh-oh. 03:14:19.37,03:14:19.77 That's not good. 03:14:19.77,03:14:22.67 That's not good. 03:14:22.74,03:14:24.94 You can give me[br]Anna Scott any day. 03:14:25.04,03:14:27.94 I didn't like her last fi lm. Fell asleep[br]as soon as the lights went down. 03:14:28.05,03:14:29.95 I don't really care[br]what the fi lm's like. 03:14:30.05,03:14:32.74 Any fi lm with her in,[br]it's fi ne by me. 03:14:34.79,03:14:36.95 She's not my type at all.[br]lpreferthe otherone. 03:14:37.05,03:14:39.55 You know, blonde, sweet-looking. 03:14:39.62,03:14:41.56 You know, what's-her-name. 03:14:41.63,03:14:43.92 Has an orgasm every time[br]you take her out for a cup ofcoffee. 03:14:44.03,03:14:46.12 Meg Ryan. 03:14:46.23,03:14:49.63 No, she's too wholesome.[br]Thepoint about Miss Scott is... 03:14:49.73,03:14:52.64 she's got that twinkle in her eyes. 03:14:52.74,03:14:55.40 Probably drug-induced.[br]Spends most of her life in bloody rehab. 03:14:55.47,03:14:58.07 Well, whatever.[br]She's so clearly up forit. 03:14:58.14,03:15:01.08 Yousee, mostgirls, they're alllike,[br]"Stay away, chum. " 03:15:01.15,03:15:05.24 ButAnna,[br]she is absolutelygagging forit. 03:15:07.32,03:15:09.79 Doyou knowthat in over50.%[br]ofthe languages, 03:15:09.89,03:15:13.65 the wordfor "actress"is[br]thesame as the wordfor "prostitute" ? 03:15:13.76,03:15:16.39 Where didyouget that from ? 03:15:16.46,03:15:21.12 AndAnna isyourdefinitive actress, 03:15:21.23,03:15:25.00 someone really filthy[br]you canjust flip overandstart again. 03:15:26.60,03:15:29.84 - Right, that's it. Sorry.[br]- No, no. There's really no point. 03:15:32.81,03:15:35.01 Um, sorry--[br]sorry to disturb you guys. 03:15:35.11,03:15:37.51 - But, um--[br]- Can I help ? 03:15:37.62,03:15:41.14 Well, yeah. I wish I hadn't overheard[br]your conversation, but I did. 03:15:41.25,03:15:43.81 And, um, I just think, you know, 03:15:43.92,03:15:46.82 thepersonyou're talking about[br]is a realperson. 03:15:46.92,03:15:49.86 And I think she probably deserves[br]a little bit more consideration... 03:15:49.96,03:15:52.62 rather than havingjerks like you[br]drooling over her. 03:15:52.70,03:15:55.36 Oh, sod off, mate.[br]What are you, her dad ? 03:16:03.11,03:16:05.37 - I'm sorry.[br]- No, I love that you tried. 03:16:05.48,03:16:08.34 Time was I'd have done the same thing.[br]In fact-- 03:16:13.32,03:16:15.22 Hi. 03:16:16.69,03:16:18.71 Oh, my God. 03:16:18.82,03:16:21.31 I just wanted to apologize for[br]my friend. He's very sensitive. 03:16:21.39,03:16:22.86 Uh, look, I'm sorr-- 03:16:22.96,03:16:25.86 No, no, leave it. It's, you know--[br]I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. 03:16:25.96,03:16:28.40 I'm sure it wasjust friendly banter. 03:16:28.50,03:16:31.40 I'm sure you guys have dicks[br]the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner. 03:16:31.50,03:16:34.49 The tuna's really good. 03:16:36.81,03:16:40.21 I shouldn't have done that.[br]I shouldn't have done that. 03:16:40.31,03:16:43.21 - No, you were brilliant.[br]- I'm rash and I'm stupid. 03:16:43.31,03:16:46.37 What am I doing with you ? 03:16:46.48,03:16:49.08 Uh, I don't know, I'm afraid. 03:16:49.19,03:16:51.09 I don't either. 03:16:55.59,03:16:58.19 Here we are. 03:16:58.26,03:17:00.20 Yes. 03:17:01.73,03:17:04.06 - Well, look--[br]- Do you wanna come up ? 03:17:06.37,03:17:11.24 Well, there seems to be...[br]lots of reasons why I shouldn't, so-- 03:17:11.34,03:17:14.24 There are lots of reasons. 03:17:17.55,03:17:20.75 Do you wanna come up ? 03:17:24.19,03:17:26.38 Give me five minutes ? 03:17:48.48,03:17:51.81 To be able to do that[br]is such a wonderful thing. 03:17:51.92,03:17:53.91 - You've got to go.[br]- Why ? 03:17:53.98,03:17:59.12 Because my boyfriend who was in America[br]is, in fact, now in the next room. 03:17:59.22,03:18:01.42 - Boyfriend ?[br]- Yes. 03:18:01.49,03:18:05.09 - Baby, who is it ?[br]- Uh, it's, uh-- 03:18:06.16,03:18:08.96 - Uh--[br]- Uh, room service. 03:18:09.07,03:18:13.66 Oh. How you doing ? I thought you guys[br]always wore those, uh, penguin coats. 03:18:14.77,03:18:16.67 Usually we do. 03:18:16.77,03:18:19.61 But I wasjust, uh--[br]just changed to go home. 03:18:19.68,03:18:23.91 And, um, then I thought[br]I'd take this fi nal call. 03:18:23.98,03:18:26.68 Oh, great. Ifyou don't mind,[br]I would like something too. 03:18:26.78,03:18:29.34 Could you bring me up some[br]really, really cold water ? 03:18:29.45,03:18:31.82 I'll see what I can do. 03:18:31.92,03:18:36.33 - Still, not sparkling.[br]- Absolutely. Ice-cold still water. 03:18:36.43,03:18:39.83 Unless it's illegal in the U.K. to serve[br]beverages below room temperature. 03:18:39.93,03:18:43.80 I wouldn't want you going tojail[br]just to satisfy my whim, now. 03:18:43.87,03:18:45.66 - No, I'm sure it's fi ne.[br]- Thankyou. 03:18:47.14,03:18:48.60 Hey, one more thing. 03:18:48.67,03:18:51.16 Could you adios these dirty dishes[br]and take out that trash too ? 03:18:54.18,03:18:56.11 - Uh--[br]- Right. 03:18:56.18,03:18:58.61 No. No. Um, don't-- don't--[br]don't do that. 03:18:58.68,03:19:01.05 I don't think[br]it's hisjob to clear. 03:19:01.15,03:19:05.35 Oh, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.[br]What'syourname, man ? 03:19:06.66,03:19:08.56 Bernie. 03:19:08.66,03:19:10.85 Oh, listen, Bernie. 03:19:10.96,03:19:14.23 Thankyou.[br]I really appreciate it. 03:19:14.33,03:19:16.23 Hey, you. 03:19:20.67,03:19:25.57 So, tell me. Tell me, tell me.[br]Good surprise or nasty surprise ? 03:19:25.68,03:19:28.47 - Good surprise.[br]- Oh, you're such a liar. 03:19:28.55,03:19:30.98 She hates surprises.[br]Hey, what areyougonna order? 03:19:31.05,03:19:33.98 - Huh ?[br]- From him. What are you gonna order ? 03:19:34.05,03:19:36.32 Um, I haven't decided yet. 03:19:36.39,03:19:38.55 Oh, well, don't overdo it. 03:19:38.66,03:19:42.68 I don't want people saying,[br]"There goes that famous actor[br]with the big, fat girlfriend." 03:19:45.00,03:19:47.05 I should leave. 03:19:53.27,03:19:56.73 This is a fairly strange reality[br]to be faced with. 03:19:58.08,03:20:00.04 I'm so sorry. 03:20:02.75,03:20:05.04 I don't know... 03:20:05.12,03:20:07.41 what to say. 03:20:07.52,03:20:09.75 Well, 03:20:09.85,03:20:11.95 I think, um, 03:20:12.06,03:20:15.25 "good-bye" is traditional. 03:22:17.93,03:22:20.27 Come on. 03:22:20.37,03:22:23.24 Open up. 03:22:23.34,03:22:24.91 This is me.[br]Spikey. 03:22:24.91,03:22:27.07 This is me.[br]Spikey. 03:22:28.61,03:22:32.84 I'm in contact with some quite[br]important spiritual vibrations. 03:22:34.52,03:22:38.35 Come on.[br]Hit me with it. 03:22:42.09,03:22:44.96 - There's this girl--[br]- Aha. 03:22:45.06,03:22:48.86 See, I been gettin' a female vibe.[br]Good. 03:22:48.93,03:22:51.56 Speak on, dear friend. 03:22:51.63,03:22:54.19 She's someone who... 03:22:54.27,03:22:57.36 can't be mine, and, uh, 03:22:59.58,03:23:05.04 it's as if I've taken love heroin,[br]and now I can't ever have it again. 03:23:05.11,03:23:08.31 I've opened Pandora's box[br]and there's trouble inside. 03:23:12.42,03:23:14.91 Yeah. 03:23:14.99,03:23:17.59 Tricky. 03:23:17.66,03:23:19.59 Tricky. 03:23:21.83,03:23:25.06 I knew a girl at school[br]called Pandora. 03:23:27.90,03:23:30.93 Never got to see her box or-- 03:23:31.01,03:23:32.94 Right. 03:23:33.01,03:23:36.74 Right. Thanks. That's very helpful. 03:23:38.51,03:23:42.11 You didn't know[br]she had a boyfriend ? 03:23:44.75,03:23:46.69 Why ? Did you ? 03:23:48.26,03:23:50.42 Oh, bloody hell.[br]ldon't believe it. 03:23:50.49,03:23:54.62 My whole life ruinedbecause[br]ldon't read Hello magazine. 03:23:54.70,03:23:58.53 Let's face facts.[br]This was always a no-win situation. 03:24:00.00,03:24:02.49 Anna's... a goddess. 03:24:02.61,03:24:05.63 You know what happens to mortals[br]who get involved with the gods. 03:24:05.71,03:24:08.51 - Buggered, is it ?[br]- Every time. 03:24:08.61,03:24:13.48 But don't despair. lthinklhave[br]thesolution toyourproblems. 03:24:13.55,03:24:16.31 - Really ?[br]- Mm-hmm. Her name is Tessa. 03:24:16.39,03:24:18.22 She works in the Contracts Department. 03:24:18.32,03:24:21.62 The hair, I admit,[br]is unfashionably frizzy, 03:24:21.69,03:24:25.65 but she's bright as a button and kisses[br]like a nymphomaniac on death row. 03:24:25.73,03:24:28.03 Apparently. 03:24:30.57,03:24:33.19 Now... try. 03:24:36.24,03:24:38.40 lgot completely lost. 03:24:38.51,03:24:41.17 lt's verydifficult, isn 't it ?[br]Everything'sgot the word[br]"Kensington"in it. 03:24:41.24,03:24:44.65 Kensington Park Road. Kensington Garden.[br]Kensington bloody Park Garden. 03:24:44.71,03:24:47.21 - Tessa, this is Bella, my wife.[br]- Hello. 03:24:47.32,03:24:49.38 - You're in a wheelchair.[br]- That's right. 03:24:49.49,03:24:51.89 And this is William. 03:24:51.99,03:24:54.32 - Hello, William.[br]- Hi. 03:24:54.39,03:24:57.42 - Max has told me everything about you.[br]- Has he ? 03:24:57.53,03:25:00.16 Oh, yes.[br]You are a naughty boy. 03:25:00.23,03:25:02.53 - Wine ?[br]- Oh, yes, please. 03:25:02.60,03:25:04.66 Come on, Willie.[br]Let's get sloshed. 03:25:04.73,03:25:06.76 - Red or white ?[br]- Red. 03:25:09.44,03:25:11.77 Keziah. 03:25:13.28,03:25:16.54 - Some woodcock ?[br]- No, thankyou. I'm a fruitarian. 03:25:20.55,03:25:23.35 What is a fruitarian, exactly ? 03:25:23.42,03:25:27.22 We believe that[br]fruits and vegetables have feelings, 03:25:27.29,03:25:29.59 so we think cooking is cruel. 03:25:29.69,03:25:33.69 We only eat things that have actually[br]fallen from the tree or bush, 03:25:33.76,03:25:35.96 that are, in fact, dead already. 03:25:37.77,03:25:42.03 Ah. Oh, right. 03:25:42.11,03:25:44.04 Right. 03:25:44.11,03:25:46.27 So, um, these carrots ? 03:25:46.38,03:25:48.97 - Have been murdered, yes.[br]- Murdered. 03:25:50.55,03:25:53.64 Poor old carrots.[br]That's-- 03:25:53.75,03:25:55.65 That's beastly. 03:25:59.06,03:26:02.12 Delicious coffee. 03:26:02.23,03:26:04.75 I'm sorry about the lamb. 03:26:04.83,03:26:09.59 No. I thought it was...[br]really, you know, interesting. 03:26:09.67,03:26:12.73 Interesting means inedible. 03:26:12.80,03:26:16.24 Really inedible. Yes, you're right. 03:26:18.98,03:26:22.74 Well, maybe we'll meet again. 03:26:22.81,03:26:26.48 Yeah, yeah.[br]That would be, uh-- 03:26:26.58,03:26:28.52 be great. 03:26:36.03,03:26:37.99 Bye. 03:26:57.05,03:26:59.54 Well ? 03:26:59.65,03:27:01.55 Perfect. 03:27:01.65,03:27:03.85 Absolutely perfect. 03:27:06.32,03:27:09.16 And ? 03:27:09.23,03:27:13.03 I thinkyou've forgotten[br]what an unusual situation you two have. 03:27:15.20,03:27:19.64 To fi nd someone you actually... love,[br]who'll love you. 03:27:19.70,03:27:22.57 The chances are always minuscule. 03:27:24.04,03:27:25.97 Look at me. 03:27:26.04,03:27:30.57 Apart from the American, I've only[br]loved two girls, both total disasters. 03:27:30.68,03:27:32.71 - That's not fair.[br]- One ofthem marries me,[br]then leaves me... 03:27:32.82,03:27:35.84 fasterthanyou can say[br]"lndianaJones. " 03:27:35.92,03:27:39.35 And the other-- who seriously[br]ought to have known better-- 03:27:39.42,03:27:41.39 casually marries my best friend. 03:27:41.49,03:27:45.59 - She still loves you, though.[br]- In a depressingly asexual way. 03:27:47.76,03:27:49.99 I never fancied you much, actually. 03:27:50.07,03:27:53.59 Oh, God. 03:27:53.70,03:27:57.37 I loved you.[br]You were terribly funny, but... 03:27:57.44,03:27:59.70 all that kissing my ears. 03:27:59.78,03:28:02.44 ldon't believe it.[br]This isjustgetting worse. 03:28:02.55,03:28:05.24 I shall fi nd myself 30 years from now[br]still sitting on this sofa. 03:28:06.78,03:28:10.55 - Do you wanna stay ?[br]- Yeah. Why not ? 03:28:10.62,03:28:13.42 All that awaits me at home[br]is a masturbating Welshman. 03:28:17.53,03:28:19.55 Here we go. 03:28:19.63,03:28:21.60 - Good night.[br]- Night. 03:28:40.69,03:28:42.75 - See you.[br]- Right. 03:28:51.10,03:28:53.43 Guilty.[br]Very, very guilty. 03:28:53.54,03:28:55.47 So it seems. 03:29:42.95,03:29:45.51 Hi. 03:29:47.19,03:29:49.42 Can I come in ? 03:29:49.49,03:29:51.43 Come in. 03:29:58.70,03:30:01.79 They were taken years ago. 03:30:01.87,03:30:04.81 I know it was-- 03:30:04.87,03:30:09.50 But I was poor and--[br]It happens a lot. 03:30:09.61,03:30:11.98 That's not an excuse.[br]I just-- 03:30:14.62,03:30:17.78 But to make matters worse, 03:30:17.85,03:30:21.05 it now appears as though... 03:30:21.16,03:30:25.15 someone was fi lming me as well. 03:30:25.23,03:30:28.99 So what was a stupid[br]photo shoot... 03:30:29.06,03:30:31.36 now looks like a porn fi lm. 03:30:33.87,03:30:36.90 The pictures have been sold[br]and they'rejust... 03:30:37.01,03:30:38.91 everywhere. 03:30:42.24,03:30:44.51 I didn't know where to go. 03:30:47.02,03:30:48.92 The hotel's surrounded. 03:30:53.19,03:30:56.49 I know it's been months, but-- 03:30:56.56,03:30:58.92 This is the place. 03:31:01.26,03:31:03.56 Thankyou. 03:31:06.77,03:31:09.20 I'm just in London... 03:31:09.27,03:31:12.10 for two days,[br]but what with your papers, 03:31:12.21,03:31:15.11 it's the worst place to be. 03:31:15.21,03:31:19.04 These pictures arejust so horrible,[br]and they're so grainy. 03:31:19.11,03:31:21.05 It makes me look like-- 03:31:21.12,03:31:23.18 Don't think about it. 03:31:25.52,03:31:27.78 We'll sort it out. 03:31:30.73,03:31:35.06 What would you like ?[br]Tea ? 03:31:35.13,03:31:37.10 Bath ? 03:31:41.14,03:31:44.30 A bath would be great. 03:31:46.48,03:31:48.41 Oh, Christ alive ! 03:31:53.12,03:31:55.48 Brilliant. Fantastic. 03:31:58.99,03:32:01.11 Magnificent. 03:32:07.63,03:32:09.56 You must be Spike. 03:32:23.25,03:32:26.77 - Hi.[br]-Just... 03:32:26.85,03:32:28.78 checkin'. 03:32:33.59,03:32:35.52 Thankyou, God. 03:32:39.36,03:32:41.83 I'm really sorry about last time. 03:32:41.93,03:32:44.30 - Oh--[br]- Hejust flew in. 03:32:44.37,03:32:46.30 - I had no idea.[br]- All right. 03:32:46.37,03:32:50.96 In fact, I had no idea[br]if he was ever gonna fly in again. 03:32:51.04,03:32:54.13 It's not often one[br]has the opportunity to adios... 03:32:54.21,03:32:57.11 the plates of[br]a major Hollywood fi lm star. 03:32:57.18,03:32:59.70 It was, um--[br]It was thrilling for me. 03:33:03.39,03:33:05.35 So how is he ? 03:33:07.46,03:33:09.39 I don't know. 03:33:12.19,03:33:14.13 Itjust got to the point... 03:33:14.20,03:33:17.65 where I couldn't remember[br]any ofthe reasons why we were together. 03:33:18.97,03:33:20.90 And you and love ? 03:33:23.47,03:33:26.64 Oh, well, there's a question, um, 03:33:26.71,03:33:29.23 without an interesting answer. 03:33:33.38,03:33:35.32 I have thought about you. 03:33:37.35,03:33:40.48 - Oh.[br]- lt'sjust that... 03:33:40.56,03:33:44.05 any time I've tried to keep... 03:33:44.16,03:33:47.99 anything normal[br]with a person that was... 03:33:48.06,03:33:50.22 normal,[br]it'sjust been a disaster. 03:33:50.33,03:33:54.67 Listen, I appreciate that.[br]Absolutely. 03:33:54.74,03:33:57.71 So what is that,[br]a filmyou're doing ? 03:33:57.77,03:34:01.90 Um, start in L.A. on Tuesday. 03:34:02.01,03:34:05.04 Would you like me to[br]take you through your lines ? 03:34:05.11,03:34:08.21 Would you ?[br]'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk. 03:34:08.28,03:34:10.44 Hand it over. 03:34:11.75,03:34:15.42 Right.[br]Um, basic plot ? 03:34:15.52,03:34:18.55 I'm a difficult but brilliant[br]junior officer... 03:34:18.63,03:34:23.53 who in about 20 minutes is gonna[br]save the world from nuclear disaster. 03:34:23.60,03:34:25.86 Mm-hmm. Okay.[br]Well done, you. 03:34:25.93,03:34:28.20 "Message from Command. Would you[br]like them to send in the H.K.'s ?" 03:34:28.27,03:34:31.26 No. Turn over four T.R.S.'s[br]and tell them we need radar feedback... 03:34:31.37,03:34:33.27 before the K.F.T.'s return at 1 900. 03:34:33.38,03:34:36.97 Then inform the Pentagon we'll need[br]Black Star cover from 1 000 through 1 2 1 5. 03:34:37.08,03:34:41.04 Andifyousay one wordabout howmany[br]mistakes lmade in thatspeech,[br]l'llpeltyou with olives. 03:34:41.12,03:34:43.71 - Very well, Captain.[br]I'll pass that on straightaway.[br]- Thankyou. 03:34:43.79,03:34:45.72 - How many mistakes did I make ?[br]- Eleven. 03:34:45.79,03:34:50.05 - Damn it. And Wainwright--[br]- Cartwright. 03:34:50.13,03:34:52.29 Cartwright, Wainwright,[br]whateveryour name is, 03:34:52.39,03:34:54.29 I promised littleJimmy[br]I'd be home for his birthday, 03:34:54.40,03:34:56.89 so could you get a message to him[br]that I may be late. 03:34:56.97,03:34:59.13 Certainly.[br]And, uh, littleJohnny ? 03:34:59.23,03:35:01.60 - My son's name isJohnny ?[br]- Yep. 03:35:01.67,03:35:04.40 - Then get a message to him too.[br]- l'lldo what lcan, Captain, 03:35:04.47,03:35:06.41 but lcan'tpromise anything. 03:35:06.47,03:35:11.14 And Cartwright goes. 03:35:11.25,03:35:15.34 - What do you think ?[br]- Gripping. lt's notJaneAusten. 03:35:15.45,03:35:18.42 It's not HenryJames,[br]but it's... gripping. 03:35:18.49,03:35:22.25 - Think I should do HenryJames instead?[br]- You would be brilliant. 03:35:22.32,03:35:27.66 But this writer-- writers--[br]they'repretty damngoodtoo. 03:35:27.76,03:35:30.32 You never get anyone[br]on Wings ofthe Dove saying, 03:35:30.43,03:35:33.20 "Inform the Pentagon[br]we need Black Star cover." 03:35:33.30,03:35:35.20 For me the book is the poorer for it. 03:35:40.51,03:35:42.94 I can't believe you have that picture. 03:35:44.51,03:35:46.95 You like Chagall ? 03:35:47.02,03:35:51.68 I do. It feels like[br]how love should be-- 03:35:51.79,03:35:54.48 floating through a dark blue sky. 03:35:54.56,03:35:57.29 With agoat, playing a violin. 03:35:57.36,03:35:59.29 Well, yes. 03:35:59.36,03:36:02.46 Happiness isn't happiness[br]without a violin-playing goat. 03:36:23.54,03:36:25.50 You have big feet. 03:36:28.17,03:36:32.34 Yes.[br]Yes, always have had. 03:36:34.18,03:36:37.77 You know what they say[br]about men with big feet. 03:36:39.05,03:36:41.11 No.[br]What's that ? 03:36:41.19,03:36:44.82 Uh, big feet, 03:36:44.89,03:36:47.55 large... shoes. 03:36:53.40,03:36:55.33 The thing that is so irritating... 03:36:55.40,03:36:58.80 is that now I'm so fierce[br]when it comes to nudity clauses. 03:36:58.87,03:37:01.57 You actually have... clauses[br]in your contract about nudity ? 03:37:01.67,03:37:03.57 Defi nitely. 03:37:03.68,03:37:07.24 "You may show the dent ofthe top ofthe[br]artist's buttocks, but neither cheek." 03:37:07.35,03:37:10.54 Orifthere's[br]a stunt bottom being used... 03:37:10.65,03:37:13.58 "artist must have full consultation." 03:37:13.69,03:37:18.85 - You have a stunt bottom ?[br]- I could have a stunt bottom, yes. 03:37:18.92,03:37:23.36 Are people tempted to go[br]for better bottoms than their own? 03:37:23.43,03:37:26.06 Yeah. I would.[br]This is important stuff. 03:37:26.16,03:37:30.16 It's one hell ofa job, isn't it ?[br]What do you put on your passport ? 03:37:30.24,03:37:32.60 "Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom." 03:37:32.70,03:37:34.87 Actually, Mel does his own ass work. 03:37:34.94,03:37:36.91 - Right.[br]- Why wouldn't he ? 03:37:37.01,03:37:41.07 - Absolutely.[br]- It's delicious. 03:37:41.18,03:37:44.51 What, the ice cream[br]or Mel Gibson's bottom ? 03:37:44.58,03:37:47.42 Both. Equally. 03:37:47.52,03:37:50.11 But you wouldn't necessarily lick both ? 03:37:50.22,03:37:54.56 Well, this is tart. 03:37:54.63,03:37:56.79 And fuzz-free. 03:38:00.90,03:38:03.53 And, uh-- 03:38:03.60,03:38:06.26 Bedroom.[br]There's clean sheets. 03:38:16.15,03:38:18.74 Today's been a good day, 03:38:18.82,03:38:21.75 which in the circumstances is... 03:38:21.82,03:38:24.62 unexpected. 03:38:24.72,03:38:26.99 Thankyou. 03:38:30.56,03:38:33.62 Anyway, um, 03:38:33.73,03:38:35.67 time for bed. 03:38:36.84,03:38:38.80 Or sofa bed. 03:38:45.18,03:38:47.15 Good night. 03:38:47.25,03:38:49.18 Good night. 03:39:34.79,03:39:36.73 Oh, my God. 03:39:44.87,03:39:47.30 Hello ? 03:39:47.37,03:39:49.31 Hello. 03:39:51.04,03:39:54.64 -Spike.[br]-I wonder if I could have a little word. 03:39:54.71,03:39:58.01 - Right.[br]- I don't want to interfere or anything, 03:39:58.08,03:40:00.75 but she'sjust split up[br]from her boyfriend, right ? 03:40:00.85,03:40:04.65 - Maybe.[br]- And she's in your house. 03:40:06.16,03:40:09.65 - Yes.[br]- And you get on very well. 03:40:11.36,03:40:14.06 - Yes.[br]- Well, isn't this, perhaps, 03:40:14.17,03:40:16.23 a nice opportunity to... 03:40:20.01,03:40:21.91 slip her one. 03:40:22.01,03:40:23.94 Spike, for God's sakes.[br]She's in trouble. Get a grip. 03:40:24.04,03:40:26.70 You think it's the wrong moment.[br]Fair enough. 03:40:31.88,03:40:33.85 - Do you mind if I have a go ?[br]- Spike ! 03:40:33.92,03:40:36.79 - Okay.[br]- I'll talk to you in the morning. 03:40:36.89,03:40:41.62 Okay.[br]Might be too late, but okay. 03:40:51.44,03:40:55.13 Please, sod off. 03:40:55.24,03:40:57.14 - Okay. All right.[br]- No. No, no ! 03:40:57.24,03:41:01.04 Wait ! I thought you were,[br]um, someone else. 03:41:02.78,03:41:06.44 I thought you were Spike.[br]I'm thrilled that you're not. 03:42:08.11,03:42:10.05 Wow. 03:42:12.35,03:42:14.28 What ? 03:42:14.35,03:42:16.29 Nothing. 03:42:51.42,03:42:54.09 lt does strike me as, 03:42:54.19,03:42:57.89 well, surreal that I'm allowed[br]to see you naked. 03:42:58.00,03:43:00.93 - You and every person in this country.[br]- I'm sorry. 03:43:02.50,03:43:05.16 What is it about men and nudity, huh ? 03:43:05.24,03:43:07.17 Particularly breasts. 03:43:07.24,03:43:11.90 - Howcanyou beso interestedin them ?[br]- Well-- 03:43:12.01,03:43:14.54 But, seriously,[br]they'rejust breasts. 03:43:14.61,03:43:17.45 Every second person[br]in the world has them. 03:43:17.55,03:43:21.25 More than that, when you think about it.[br]Meat Loaf has a very nice pair. 03:43:21.35,03:43:24.79 But they're odd-looking. 03:43:24.89,03:43:27.69 They're for milk.[br]Your mother has them. 03:43:27.76,03:43:31.25 You've seen a thousand ofthem.[br]What's all the fuss about ? 03:43:31.36,03:43:34.59 Actually, I can't think[br]what it is, really. 03:43:34.70,03:43:37.29 Let mejust have a quick look. 03:43:41.94,03:43:44.93 Nope, nope. Beats me. 03:43:48.05,03:43:51.57 Rita Hayworth used to say, 03:43:51.65,03:43:55.38 "They go to bed with Gilda,[br]they wake up with me." 03:43:55.45,03:44:00.58 - Who was Gilda ?[br]- Her most famous part. 03:44:00.66,03:44:03.59 Men went to bed with the dream, 03:44:03.66,03:44:07.32 and they didn't like it[br]when they woke up with the reality. 03:44:08.93,03:44:10.83 Do you feel that way ? 03:44:13.61,03:44:17.30 You are lovelier this morning[br]than you have ever been. 03:44:21.01,03:44:22.95 I'll be right back. 03:44:36.53,03:44:38.46 Breakfast in bed. 03:44:38.53,03:44:42.93 - Oh.[br]- Or it's brunch or lunch or something. 03:44:43.00,03:44:45.70 My God. 03:44:45.80,03:44:47.70 Can I stay a bit longer ? 03:44:50.51,03:44:52.44 Stay forever. 03:44:54.98,03:44:57.21 Okay.[br]Oh. Forgot thejam. 03:45:01.55,03:45:03.95 I'll get thejam,[br]you get the door. 03:45:19.78,03:45:21.65 Jesus Christ. 03:45:24.42,03:45:26.79 What ? 03:45:26.86,03:45:29.19 What is it ? 03:45:29.29,03:45:32.26 - Nothing, really.[br]- You're up to something. 03:45:32.33,03:45:35.20 Anna, no, please! 03:45:37.77,03:45:42.54 My God. And they got a picture ofyou[br]dressed like that. 03:45:42.64,03:45:44.37 Yes. 03:45:46.21,03:45:48.18 Undressed like this, yeah. 03:45:50.01,03:45:53.64 - Morning, darling ones.[br]- It's me. The press are here. 03:45:53.72,03:45:55.95 No, there are hundreds ofthem. 03:45:56.02,03:45:58.65 My brilliant plan[br]was not so brilliant. I know. 03:45:58.72,03:46:01.99 I know. I know.[br]Just get over here. 03:46:02.06,03:46:04.03 Damn it. 03:46:09.20,03:46:12.23 - Um, I wouldn't go outside.[br]- Why not ? 03:46:14.91,03:46:17.57 -Just take my word for it.[br]- Oh. 03:46:40.10,03:46:42.33 How did I look ?[br]Not bad. 03:46:42.40,03:46:46.39 Not at all bad.[br]Well-chosen briefs, I'd say. 03:46:46.50,03:46:49.17 Chicks love grey. 03:46:49.24,03:46:51.90 Nice fi rm buttocks. 03:46:55.88,03:46:57.78 How are you doing ? 03:46:57.88,03:47:00.44 How do you think I'm doing ? 03:47:01.89,03:47:04.12 - I don't know what happened.[br]- I do. 03:47:04.22,03:47:09.12 Your furry friend thought he'd make[br]a buck telling the papers where I was. 03:47:09.23,03:47:11.13 - That's not true.[br]- Really ? 03:47:11.23,03:47:14.56 The entire British press[br]got up this morning and thought,[br]"I know where Anna Scott is. 03:47:14.63,03:47:17.57 She's in that house with the blue door[br]in Notting Hill." 03:47:17.63,03:47:20.40 Then you go out[br]in your goddamn underwear ! 03:47:20.47,03:47:23.44 -I went out in my goddamn underwear too.[br]-Get out ! 03:47:23.54,03:47:25.57 Sorry. 03:47:25.64,03:47:29.48 - I'm so sorry.[br]- This is such an unbelievable mess. 03:47:29.58,03:47:32.48 I come to you to protect myself[br]against more crappy gossip, 03:47:32.58,03:47:34.48 and now I've landed in it[br]all over again. 03:47:34.58,03:47:37.42 For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend ! 03:47:37.49,03:47:41.22 - You have ?[br]- As far as they're concerned I do. 03:47:41.29,03:47:46.13 And now, tomorrow there'll be[br]pictures ofyou in every newspaper[br]from here to Timbuktu ! 03:47:46.23,03:47:49.16 I know that, but...[br]just let's stay calm. 03:47:49.27,03:47:53.00 You stay calm ! This is a perfect[br]situation foryou, isn't it? 03:47:53.10,03:47:55.44 Minimum input, maximum publicity. 03:47:55.51,03:47:58.10 Everywhere you go, people will say,[br]"Well done, you. 03:47:58.18,03:48:01.98 You slept with that actress.[br]We saw the pictures." 03:48:02.08,03:48:04.81 - That is spectacularly unfair.[br]- That's yours. 03:48:04.92,03:48:06.82 Maybe it'll even help business. 03:48:06.92,03:48:09.48 Buy a boring book about Egypt[br]from the guy that screwed Anna Scott. 03:48:09.59,03:48:13.35 Stop ! Stop ! I beg you ! 03:48:13.46,03:48:15.69 Calm down.[br]How about a cup oftea ? 03:48:15.79,03:48:17.85 I don't want[br]a goddamn cup oftea. 03:48:19.26,03:48:21.92 I just wanna go home. 03:48:22.00,03:48:24.76 Spike, see who that is,[br]andputsome clothes on, forGod's sake. 03:48:24.84,03:48:27.46 Looks like a chauffeur to me. 03:48:27.54,03:48:29.97 Spike owes you[br]an expensive dinner or holiday, 03:48:30.04,03:48:33.10 depending who's got the brains[br]to get the going rate on betrayal. 03:48:33.18,03:48:35.11 That is not true.[br]Wait a minute. 03:48:35.18,03:48:37.84 This is crazy behaviour. 03:48:37.95,03:48:41.18 Can't wejust[br]laugh about all this ? 03:48:41.28,03:48:44.98 Seriously. In the huge sweep ofthings,[br]this stuff doesn't matter. 03:48:45.06,03:48:48.29 What he's gonna say next is[br]there's people starving in the Sudan. 03:48:48.36,03:48:52.12 Well, there are, and we don't[br]have to go anywhere near that far. 03:48:52.20,03:48:55.13 My best friend slipped down stairs,[br]cracked her back... 03:48:55.20,03:48:57.72 and she's in a wheelchair[br]for the rest of her life. 03:48:57.83,03:49:02.17 All I'm asking for is[br]a normal amount of perspective. 03:49:02.24,03:49:04.73 You're right.[br]Ofcourse, you're right. 03:49:04.84,03:49:07.64 It'sjust that I've dealt[br]with this garbage for ten years. 03:49:07.71,03:49:09.65 You've had it for ten minutes. 03:49:09.71,03:49:13.17 Our perspectives are very different. 03:49:13.25,03:49:16.74 Today's newspapers will be lining[br]tomorrow's wastepaper bin. 03:49:16.85,03:49:18.98 - Excuse me ?[br]- You know. 03:49:19.06,03:49:21.22 It'sjust one day. 03:49:21.32,03:49:24.89 Tomorrow, today's papers[br]will all have been thrown out. 03:49:25.00,03:49:27.16 You really don't get it. 03:49:27.23,03:49:29.66 This story will be fi led. 03:49:29.73,03:49:34.60 Every time anyone writes anything[br]about me, they'll dig up these photos. 03:49:34.70,03:49:36.70 Newspapers last forever. 03:49:36.77,03:49:39.61 I'll regret this forever. 03:49:41.75,03:49:43.68 Right. 03:49:46.95,03:49:49.35 Right. 03:49:49.42,03:49:51.68 I will feel the opposite, 03:49:51.76,03:49:55.89 ifthat's okay by you, and, uh, 03:49:55.96,03:49:58.95 always be glad that you...[br]came to stay. 03:50:01.46,03:50:04.40 But, um, you're probably right. 03:50:04.47,03:50:06.40 You better go. 03:50:47.11,03:50:49.34 Was it you ? 03:50:51.68,03:50:56.52 I may have told a few people[br]down at the pub. 03:50:58.32,03:51:00.26 Right. 03:52:49.93,03:52:52.60 Have I got something foryou. Something[br]which will make you love me so much, 03:52:52.60,03:52:53.69 Have I got something foryou. Something[br]which will make you love me so much, 03:52:53.77,03:52:57.07 you will want to hug me every day[br]for the rest of my life. 03:52:57.14,03:53:00.08 Blimey. What is it ? 03:53:00.14,03:53:02.37 Phone number ofAnna Scott's agent[br]in London... 03:53:02.45,03:53:04.97 and her agent in New York. 03:53:08.86,03:53:12.23 Listen, you think about her all[br]the time. Now you can ring her. 03:53:12.33,03:53:15.86 Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks. 03:53:15.93,03:53:18.92 I'll see you tonight.[br]Hey, Marty. Ooh ! Sexy cardi. 03:53:45.06,03:53:49.36 Shh ! Hello ![br]I have a little speech to make. 03:53:49.43,03:53:54.30 I won't stand up because[br]I can't... be bothered. 03:53:54.40,03:53:59.14 Exactly a year ago today, this man here[br]started the fi nest restaurant in London. 03:53:59.24,03:54:01.14 - Hear, hear.[br]- Thankyou very much. 03:54:01.24,03:54:03.77 Unfortunately,[br]no one ever came to eat here. 03:54:03.88,03:54:06.71 It's a tiny hiccup. 03:54:06.78,03:54:10.08 And so we have to face the fact[br]that from next week, 03:54:10.15,03:54:12.09 we must fi nd somewhere new to eat. 03:54:13.46,03:54:17.76 I just want to say to Tony...[br]don't take it personally. 03:54:17.83,03:54:21.66 The more I think about things, the more[br]I see no rhyme or reason in life. 03:54:21.77,03:54:25.43 No one knows why some things work out[br]and some things don't. 03:54:25.50,03:54:27.30 Whysome ofusget lucky... 03:54:27.40,03:54:30.57 - andsome ofus--[br]- Get fi red. 03:54:30.64,03:54:31.94 - What ?[br]- No ! 03:54:32.01,03:54:34.77 Yeah, well, it seems[br]they're shifting the whole outfit... 03:54:34.84,03:54:37.44 much more towards[br]the emerging markets. 03:54:37.51,03:54:42.14 And, ofcourse, well,[br]l was totalcrap, so-- 03:54:42.25,03:54:44.48 A toast to Bernie-- the worst[br]stockbroker in the whole world. 03:54:44.59,03:54:47.28 I thankyou.[br]And Tony, the worst restaurateur. 03:54:47.36,03:54:49.95 - Tony and Bernie. Both crap...[br]- The terrible two. 03:54:50.03,03:54:52.69 in their own special ways. 03:54:55.47,03:54:57.87 Since it's an evening[br]ofannouncements, 03:54:57.97,03:55:01.34 uh, I've also got one. 03:55:01.44,03:55:04.64 Um, I've decided to get engaged. 03:55:04.71,03:55:10.15 l've foundmyselfa nice,[br]slightly odd-looking bloke... 03:55:10.21,03:55:13.44 who I know is gonna make me happy[br]for the rest of my life. 03:55:15.12,03:55:17.78 Wait a sec. I mean, I-- 03:55:17.85,03:55:21.85 I'm your brother. I don't know[br]anything about this. Is he-- 03:55:21.96,03:55:25.49 Is he fi nancially viable ? 03:55:25.56,03:55:28.22 He's an artist...[br]with brilliant prospects. 03:55:30.83,03:55:33.96 This is a secret[br]you've been keeping from me. 03:55:34.04,03:55:36.06 By the way, it's you. 03:55:39.41,03:55:42.57 - Me ?[br]- What do you think ? 03:55:44.41,03:55:46.38 Well, yeah. 03:55:48.42,03:55:50.75 Groovy. 03:55:50.85,03:55:55.05 Excuse me.[br]Are there any more announcements ? 03:55:55.16,03:55:57.68 Well, actually, yes. 03:55:57.76,03:56:00.70 lfeellshould[br]apologize to everyone... 03:56:00.76,03:56:03.16 for my behaviour[br]over the last six months. 03:56:03.23,03:56:06.86 I have, as you know,[br]been somewhat down in the mouth. 03:56:06.94,03:56:10.50 There's an understatement.[br]There are dead people on better form. 03:56:10.57,03:56:14.27 But I just wish to make it clear[br]that I've turned a corner, 03:56:14.38,03:56:18.44 and, um, henceforward intend[br]to be impressively happy. 03:56:24.45,03:56:28.36 Without a love ofmy own 03:56:32.36,03:56:36.59 -Blue moon[br]-Ba-boom, ba-boom 03:56:36.70,03:56:40.10 You knewjust what l was there for 03:56:40.20,03:56:43.07 Oh, God. I'm horribly drunk. 03:56:43.14,03:56:46.23 You heardmesaying aprayerfor 03:56:46.31,03:56:48.40 - Come here.[br]-Ba-boom, ba-boom 03:56:48.48,03:56:51.64 Someone lreally could care for 03:56:51.75,03:56:56.08 So you've laid the ghost ? 03:56:56.15,03:56:58.05 I believe I have. 03:56:58.12,03:57:01.45 Don't give a damn[br]about the famous girl? 03:57:01.56,03:57:03.32 No. 03:57:03.43,03:57:06.22 No, I don't think I do. 03:57:06.30,03:57:09.16 Which means you won't be distracted[br]by the fact that she's back in London... 03:57:09.27,03:57:10.93 grasping her Oscar... 03:57:11.00,03:57:13.99 and currently to be found fi lming,[br]most days, on Hampstead Heath. 03:57:15.84,03:57:17.81 Oh, God, no. 03:57:21.08,03:57:23.84 So not overher, in fact. 03:58:07.39,03:58:10.33 - Can I help you ?[br]- Yeah, I'm, um-- 03:58:10.39,03:58:12.79 - I'm looking for Anna Scott.[br]- Does she know you're coming ? 03:58:12.86,03:58:16.32 No. No, uh, she doesn't. 03:58:16.40,03:58:19.70 - I'm afraid I can't let you through.[br]- Right. 03:58:19.80,03:58:24.80 I mean, I am actually a friend.[br]I'm not a lunatic, but-- 03:58:24.87,03:58:27.74 - No, you basically, er--[br]- Can't let you through, sir. 03:59:09.69,03:59:11.12 Well, this is, uh-- 03:59:11.22,03:59:14.55 I only found out[br]you were here yesterday. 03:59:14.62,03:59:18.39 - I was going to call, but I--[br]- Uh, Anna. 03:59:18.46,03:59:20.93 Yes. Um-- 03:59:21.03,03:59:23.43 Things aren't going very well,[br]and it's our last day. 03:59:23.53,03:59:25.93 Absolutely, yeah.[br]You're clearly very busy. 03:59:26.04,03:59:28.44 But if-- ifyou could wait, 03:59:28.54,03:59:31.20 there are... things to say. 03:59:35.65,03:59:37.61 Okay. 03:59:39.55,03:59:42.45 Drink tea.[br]There's lots oftea. 03:59:48.89,03:59:50.83 Come and have a look. 03:59:55.16,03:59:58.33 Are you a fan of HenryJames ? 03:59:58.43,04:00:01.16 - This is a HenryJames fi lm ?[br]- Yeah. 04:00:08.41,04:00:10.61 This is, uh, Harry. 04:00:10.68,04:00:13.91 He'll give you a pair of headphones[br]so you can hear the dialogue. 04:00:13.98,04:00:15.92 - Thankyou very much.[br]- Noproblem. 04:00:15.99,04:00:18.61 - Hi.[br]- Hi. Here we go. 04:00:18.69,04:00:22.18 - Volume's on the side. Have a seat.[br]- Thankyou. 04:00:30.43,04:00:33.87 We are living in cloud cuckoo land.[br]We'll never get this done today. 04:00:33.97,04:00:36.20 We've got to.[br]I have to be in New York on Thursday. 04:00:36.31,04:00:40.47 Oh, stop showing off.[br]God, that's an enormous ass. 04:00:40.54,04:00:44.78 - I'm not listening.[br]- But seriously, it's not fair. 04:00:44.85,04:00:47.15 So many tragic young teenagers[br]with anorexia... 04:00:47.22,04:00:49.84 and that girl has an ass[br]she could perfectly well share around... 04:00:49.95,04:00:53.82 with at least ten other women[br]and still be big-bottomed. 04:00:53.89,04:00:56.38 I would think, looking at[br]something nice like that, 04:00:56.49,04:01:00.66 you andyour...[br]bony little excuse foran arse... 04:01:00.73,04:01:03.81 would be well advised to keep quiet. 04:01:04.07,04:01:04.90 Nowdown to business.[br]The endofthescene. 04:01:04.97,04:01:08.14 Um, I askyou when you're[br]telling everyone, and you say-- 04:01:08.24,04:01:12.41 Um, tomorrow will be soon enough. 04:01:12.48,04:01:14.92 And then I-- Right. Okay. 04:01:14.98,04:01:18.78 Say, who was that rather diffident chap[br]I saw you talking to round the back ? 04:01:18.85,04:01:20.82 No one. 04:01:22.19,04:01:25.25 Just some guy from the past. I-- 04:01:25.33,04:01:29.26 It's a bit ofan awkward situation.[br]I don't know what he's doing here. 04:01:46.38,04:01:48.32 'Course. 04:01:54.06,04:01:57.15 Thanks. I've got to, um-- 04:01:57.23,04:01:59.19 Any time. 04:02:08.74,04:02:12.17 Ladies andgentlemen,[br]can we haveyou onyourfirst marks ? 04:02:12.24,04:02:14.40 Onyourfirst marks ! 04:02:26.52,04:02:29.86 Uh, I-I do hate to disturb you[br]whilst you're cooking the books, 04:02:29.93,04:02:33.09 but, uh, there's a delivery foryou. 04:02:33.20,04:02:35.53 Martin, really.[br]Can't you just do it yourself? 04:02:35.60,04:02:40.16 But you see, this is not for the shop.[br]This is foryou. 04:02:41.24,04:02:42.83 Right. Okay. 04:02:42.91,04:02:47.60 Tell me, if I employ a wet rag, would I[br]have to pay it as much as I pay you ? 04:02:51.78,04:02:53.01 Hi. 04:02:54.68,04:02:56.74 Hello. 04:02:56.85,04:02:58.95 You disappeared. 04:02:59.05,04:03:01.68 Yeah. Yeah. Um-- 04:03:01.76,04:03:05.59 I had to leave.[br]I didn't want to disturb. 04:03:05.69,04:03:09.69 - How have you been ?[br]- Fine, fi ne. Everything much the same. 04:03:09.77,04:03:13.86 When they change the law,[br]Spike and I will marry immediately. 04:03:13.94,04:03:16.96 Whereas you, I've watched in wonder. 04:03:17.07,04:03:19.27 - Awards, glory.[br]- Oh, no. 04:03:19.38,04:03:22.78 It's-- It's all nonsense, believe me. 04:03:22.88,04:03:25.81 I'd no idea how much nonsense[br]it was, but... 04:03:25.92,04:03:27.82 nonsense it all is. 04:03:29.99,04:03:32.45 Well, um-- 04:03:32.56,04:03:37.58 Yesterday was our last day offi lming,[br]so... I'm leaving. 04:03:39.73,04:03:43.16 But, um-- 04:03:43.27,04:03:46.89 I brought this foryou from home, 04:03:46.97,04:03:49.16 so I thought I'd give it to you. 04:03:50.64,04:03:53.57 Thankyou. 04:03:53.64,04:03:55.58 Shall I-- 04:03:55.64,04:03:58.24 Oh, no, don't open it now.[br]I'll be embarrassed. 04:04:01.08,04:04:04.45 Well, thankyou. I don't know[br]what it's for, but thanks anyway. 04:04:04.52,04:04:09.01 Actually, I had it in my apartment,[br]and I thought you'd-- 04:04:11.43,04:04:14.19 But when it came to it,[br]I didn't know how to call, 04:04:14.30,04:04:17.36 having behaved so badly. 04:04:17.47,04:04:19.37 Twice. 04:04:21.00,04:04:25.13 So it'sjust been[br]sitting in the hotel. 04:04:25.21,04:04:29.54 Then you came and... I fi gured-- 04:04:33.22,04:04:35.55 The thing is-- 04:04:35.65,04:04:37.55 The thing is-- 04:04:40.36,04:04:43.22 What ? What is the thing ? 04:04:44.49,04:04:46.83 Don't even think about it.[br]Go away immediately. 04:04:46.90,04:04:49.52 - Go away.[br]- Right. 04:04:49.63,04:04:51.57 Sorry. 04:04:53.84,04:04:56.24 You were saying ? 04:04:58.74,04:05:02.20 Yes. 04:05:02.31,04:05:05.14 I have to go away today, but I... 04:05:05.21,04:05:08.51 wondered if I didn't... 04:05:08.58,04:05:12.99 whetheryou might[br]let me see you a little, 04:05:13.06,04:05:15.92 or... a lot, maybe. 04:05:19.19,04:05:22.06 See ifyou could like me again. 04:05:22.16,04:05:24.56 But yesterday[br]that actor asked you who I was, 04:05:24.67,04:05:27.43 and you just[br]dismissed me out of hand. 04:05:28.77,04:05:31.87 I heard. 04:05:31.94,04:05:35.17 You hada microphone.[br]lhadheadphones. 04:05:35.24,04:05:37.21 You expect me[br]to tell the truth about my life... 04:05:37.28,04:05:39.91 to the most indiscreet man[br]in England ? 04:05:41.35,04:05:43.68 Uh, excuse me. 04:05:43.75,04:05:46.19 It's your mother on the phone. 04:05:48.96,04:05:51.05 Will you tell her[br]I'll ring her back ? 04:05:51.13,04:05:54.22 I've actually tried that tack, but[br]she said you've said that once before, 04:05:54.30,04:05:56.26 and it's now been about 24 hours... 04:05:56.37,04:05:59.77 and the foot that was purple[br]is now sort of blackish in colour and-- 04:05:59.87,04:06:03.63 Right, right. Yeah.[br]Perfect timing, as ever. 04:06:05.81,04:06:08.57 Martin, hold the fort a second. 04:06:08.64,04:06:11.04 Uh, yes. Allright. 04:06:16.15,04:06:18.71 Um, couldljustsay-- 04:06:18.79,04:06:23.82 I thought Ghost[br]was the most wonderful fi lm. 04:06:25.09,04:06:27.76 - Is that right ?[br]- Oh, yes. 04:06:30.97,04:06:34.83 Um, I've always wondered... 04:06:34.94,04:06:38.10 what Patrick Swayze's like[br]in-- in-- in real life. 04:06:38.17,04:06:41.84 I can't say that I know Patrick[br]all that well. 04:06:41.94,04:06:44.17 He wasn't that friendly during fi lming ? 04:06:44.28,04:06:49.68 Well, l'm sure he wasfriendly to[br]DemiMoore who acted with him in Ghost. 04:06:52.19,04:06:54.52 Oh. Oh, right. 04:06:54.62,04:06:56.52 Sorry. 04:06:58.19,04:07:01.46 Always been a bit ofan ass. 04:07:01.53,04:07:04.47 Um, anyway-- Um-- 04:07:04.53,04:07:06.47 Well, it was lovely to meet you. 04:07:06.54,04:07:08.97 I'm a huge, huge fan ofyours. 04:07:09.04,04:07:12.70 AndDemi's, ofcourse. 04:07:15.21,04:07:17.44 Sorry. 04:07:17.51,04:07:19.34 That's fi ne. 04:07:19.45,04:07:23.21 There's always a pause when thejury[br]goes out to consider their verdict. 04:07:25.52,04:07:28.65 Anna, look, um-- 04:07:28.72,04:07:32.52 I'm a fairly levelheaded bloke, 04:07:32.63,04:07:36.50 not often in and out of love. 04:07:36.57,04:07:38.69 But, uh-- 04:07:43.24,04:07:45.64 Can I just say no to your... 04:07:45.71,04:07:50.04 kind request and, uh, leave it at that ? 04:07:53.42,04:07:56.75 Yes. 04:07:56.85,04:08:00.34 Fine. Ofcourse. I-- 04:08:00.42,04:08:02.52 Ofcourse. 04:08:04.23,04:08:07.25 I'll just be going, then.[br]It was nice to see you. 04:08:07.36,04:08:10.26 The thing is, 04:08:10.37,04:08:13.82 with you I'm in real... danger. 04:08:13.90,04:08:17.07 It seems like a... perfect situation, 04:08:17.17,04:08:20.61 apart from that[br]foul temper ofyours, but... 04:08:20.71,04:08:25.24 my relatively inexperienced heart[br]would, I fear, not... 04:08:25.35,04:08:28.11 recover, uh, if I was... 04:08:28.22,04:08:32.24 once again cast aside,[br]as I would absolutely expect to be. 04:08:32.35,04:08:37.52 There arejust too many pictures ofyou,[br]too many fi lms. 04:08:37.59,04:08:40.93 You'd go and I'd be, uh, 04:08:41.03,04:08:43.62 well, buggered, basically. 04:08:45.13,04:08:48.07 That really is a real no, isn't it ? 04:08:48.14,04:08:52.87 I live in Notting Hill.[br]You live in... Beverly Hills. 04:08:52.94,04:08:54.88 Everyone in the world[br]knows who you are. 04:08:54.94,04:08:58.64 My mother has trouble[br]remembering my name. 04:08:58.75,04:09:00.65 Fine. 04:09:02.55,04:09:06.89 Fine. Good decision.[br]Good decision. 04:09:10.59,04:09:14.12 The fame thing isn't really real,[br]you know ? 04:09:17.93,04:09:21.56 And don't forget I'm-- 04:09:21.64,04:09:25.44 I'm alsojust a girl... 04:09:25.51,04:09:29.64 standing in front ofa boy... 04:09:29.75,04:09:32.31 asking him to love her. 04:09:43.19,04:09:45.13 Goodbye. 04:10:07.47,04:10:09.90 So what do you think ?[br]Good move ? 04:10:09.97,04:10:12.27 Yeah, good move. 04:10:12.34,04:10:15.00 I mean, when all's said and done,[br]she's nothing special. 04:10:15.11,04:10:17.01 I saw her taking her trousers down, 04:10:17.11,04:10:19.94 and I defi nitely glimpsed[br]some cellulite down there. 04:10:20.01,04:10:22.85 Good decision, yeah. 04:10:22.95,04:10:25.35 All actresses are as mad as snakes. 04:10:25.45,04:10:28.48 - Tones, what do you reckon ?[br]- Never met her, never want to. 04:10:28.59,04:10:32.28 - Brilliant. Max ?[br]- Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian. 04:10:32.36,04:10:35.12 Great. Thanks. Brilliant. 04:10:36.43,04:10:38.95 I was called and I came. What's up ? 04:10:39.03,04:10:41.19 William'sjust turned down Anna Scott. 04:10:42.84,04:10:45.70 You daft prick. 04:10:45.80,04:10:49.21 No, no.[br]No, no, it's actually quite sensible. 04:10:52.54,04:10:56.31 Thatpainting[br]isn 't the original, is it ? 04:10:56.38,04:10:58.98 Um, you know,[br]lthinkit might be, yeah. 04:11:01.89,04:11:04.22 But she said[br]she wanted to go out with you. 04:11:06.79,04:11:09.73 - Yeah.[br]- Well, that's nice. 04:11:11.30,04:11:14.36 What ? 04:11:14.47,04:11:16.63 Well, you know, 04:11:16.70,04:11:20.83 anyone saying they wanna go out with you[br]is pretty great, isn't it ? 04:11:26.58,04:11:29.31 It was... 04:11:29.38,04:11:31.65 sort of... sweet, actually. 04:11:31.72,04:11:34.65 Um, I mean,[br]I know she's an actress and all that... 04:11:34.72,04:11:40.59 so she can... deliver a line, but, um, 04:11:40.69,04:11:43.18 she said she might be[br]as famous as she can be, 04:11:43.26,04:11:46.16 but also that she was... 04:11:46.23,04:11:49.53 just a girl... 04:11:49.60,04:11:54.00 standing in front ofa boy... 04:11:54.07,04:11:56.54 asking him... to love her. 04:12:11.62,04:12:15.08 Oh, sod a dog. I've made[br]the wrong decision, haven't I ? 04:12:17.13,04:12:18.96 Yeah. 04:12:19.06,04:12:21.90 Max, how fast is your car ? 04:12:21.90,04:12:22.26 Max, how fast is your car ? 04:12:25.70,04:12:29.47 - Good luck ![br]- Ifanyone gets in our way,[br]we have small nuclear devices. 04:12:29.58,04:12:31.41 - Where to ?[br]- All I can think is The Ritz. 04:12:31.48,04:12:34.07 - Where's Bella ?[br]- She's not coming. 04:12:34.15,04:12:37.38 - Oh, sod that. Bernie, in the back.[br]- What ? 04:12:39.99,04:12:42.42 Max, I'm okay. 04:12:42.49,04:12:44.58 Come on, babe. 04:12:52.63,04:12:54.93 Which way are you going ? 04:12:55.00,04:12:58.16 Down Kensington Church Street, then[br]Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner. 04:12:58.27,04:13:00.93 - No, crazy. Go along Bayswater.[br]- That's right. Then Park Lane. 04:13:01.01,04:13:03.07 No, straight down to the Cromwell Road,[br]then left. 04:13:06.51,04:13:10.18 Stop right there ![br]I will decide the route. All right ? 04:13:10.28,04:13:12.48 Sorry, Max. 04:13:12.58,04:13:15.49 James Bond never has to put up[br]with this sort ofshit. 04:13:22.59,04:13:25.12 Turn right ! 04:13:25.20,04:13:26.69 - I can't. It's one way.[br]- Do a U-turn. 04:13:26.80,04:13:29.53 Oh, sod it. Hold on. 04:13:35.44,04:13:38.64 Brilliant ! 04:13:43.28,04:13:46.68 Bloody hell, this is fun ! 04:13:46.79,04:13:47.65 Sorry. 04:13:47.65,04:13:48.68 Sorry. 04:13:48.79,04:13:51.05 Hi.[br]Is Miss Scott staying here ? 04:13:51.16,04:13:54.52 - No, sir.[br]- How 'bout Miss Flintstone ? 04:13:54.63,04:13:57.65 - No, sir.[br]- Uh, Bambi ? 04:13:57.73,04:14:00.82 - No, sir.[br]- Or, um-- 04:14:00.90,04:14:05.03 I don't know.[br]Beavis or Butthead ? 04:14:05.14,04:14:07.97 No, sir. 04:14:08.04,04:14:10.67 Thanks. Thanks. 04:14:10.74,04:14:13.37 There was a Miss Pocahontas, 04:14:13.48,04:14:16.07 but she checked out[br]about an hour ago. 04:14:16.18,04:14:18.88 I believe she's holding[br]a press conference at the Savoy... 04:14:18.98,04:14:22.04 before flying to America. 04:14:26.36,04:14:28.26 We have liftoff. 04:14:37.40,04:14:39.37 You have message for Takiama ? 04:14:39.44,04:14:41.53 I'll just check, sir. 04:15:04.76,04:15:07.13 Bugger this for a bunch of bananas. 04:15:11.44,04:15:15.13 Stop ! Stop ! Stop ![br]Stay there ! Go ! Go ! 04:15:15.24,04:15:18.47 Whoa, whoa, whoa !Hang on ! 04:15:18.58,04:15:21.57 Come on ! No ! Wait ! Wait there ! 04:15:21.65,04:15:23.77 Come on ! Come on ! Wait ! 04:15:23.88,04:15:27.05 Whoa, whoa, whoa ! Go on ![br]Through, through ! 04:15:28.65,04:15:31.25 You're my hero ! 04:15:31.32,04:15:33.26 Whoa ! Down, boy. 04:15:52.98,04:15:54.91 Excuse me. 04:15:54.98,04:15:56.62 - Yes ?[br]- Where's the press conference, please ? 04:15:56.62,04:15:57.60 - Yes ?[br]- Where's the press conference, please ? 04:15:57.68,04:16:00.85 - Are you an accredited[br]member ofthe press ?[br]- Yep. 04:16:02.35,04:16:06.81 - There you go.[br]- That's a Blockbuster Video[br]membership card, sir. 04:16:06.93,04:16:10.02 That's right.[br]I work for their in-house magazine. 04:16:10.13,04:16:12.36 - MoviesAre OurBusiness.[br]- I'm sorry, sir. 04:16:12.46,04:16:14.96 - He's with me.[br]- And you are ? 04:16:15.03,04:16:19.37 Writing an article on how London hotels[br]treat people in wheelchairs. 04:16:20.37,04:16:23.50 Yes, ofcourse, madam.[br]It's in the Lancaster Room. 04:16:23.61,04:16:26.01 Though I'm afraid you're rather late. 04:16:26.11,04:16:28.05 Run ! 04:16:43.36,04:16:47.16 Does this mean that Miss Scott[br]willnot bepublicizing hernext film ? 04:16:47.23,04:16:49.50 No, it absolutely[br]does not mean that. 04:16:49.57,04:16:51.73 She'llbe abiding by[br]allherpresent commitments. 04:16:51.84,04:16:55.71 Shejust won't be making[br]any more forthe nextyear. 04:16:55.81,04:16:57.87 When will the film be released? 04:16:57.98,04:17:00.24 At the moment,[br]theplan is to release in America... 04:17:00.35,04:17:02.25 towards the endofthe autumn, 04:17:02.35,04:17:03.85 and over here around Christmas[br]or early in the new year. 04:17:03.85,04:17:05.65 and over here around Christmas[br]or early in the new year. 04:17:05.72,04:17:07.81 Right! Dominic. 04:17:07.89,04:17:11.02 Anna, how much longer are you[br]staying in the U.K., then ? 04:17:11.13,04:17:13.03 No time at all.[br]I leave tonight. 04:17:13.13,04:17:18.03 Which is why we have to roundthings[br]up now, so finalquestions, please. 04:17:18.13,04:17:19.83 Yes. Lady there. 04:17:19.90,04:17:22.73 lsyourdecision to take[br]ayearoffanything to do... 04:17:22.84,04:17:26.07 with the rumors aboutJeff[br]and his present leading lady ? 04:17:26.17,04:17:29.58 - Absolutely not.[br]- Do you believe the rumors ? 04:17:29.68,04:17:33.51 Well, it's really[br]not my business anymore. 04:17:33.58,04:17:38.42 Though l willsay, from my experience,[br]rumors aboutJeffdo tendto be true. 04:17:41.09,04:17:45.08 Yeah. The last time you were here, there[br]were some fairly graphic photographs... 04:17:45.19,04:17:49.19 taken ofyou[br]with a young English guy. 04:17:49.26,04:17:52.39 So, uh, what happenedthere ? 04:17:52.50,04:17:55.87 He wasjust a friend.[br]We're still friends, I think. 04:17:55.94,04:17:59.20 Right, um-- 04:17:59.27,04:18:01.67 Yes. Gentleman in the pink shirt. 04:18:07.35,04:18:11.88 Yes. Miss Scott, 04:18:11.95,04:18:14.39 are there any circumstances in which... 04:18:14.46,04:18:17.39 the two ofyou... 04:18:17.46,04:18:20.62 might be more than just good friends ? 04:18:22.40,04:18:27.13 I hoped there would be, but no,[br]I'm... assured there aren't. 04:18:27.24,04:18:30.76 - But what would you say if--[br]- Sorry.Just the one question, please. 04:18:30.87,04:18:33.47 No, it's all right.[br]You were saying ? 04:18:35.21,04:18:38.24 I wasjust wondering if, uh, 04:18:38.31,04:18:42.08 it turnedout that thisperson, uh-- 04:18:42.15,04:18:44.12 Thacker. His name was Thacker. 04:18:44.22,04:18:46.31 Thanks, thanks. 04:18:46.42,04:18:49.08 I just wondered whether if... 04:18:49.16,04:18:53.12 Mr. Thacker realized he'd been[br]a daft prick... 04:18:55.56,04:18:58.97 and got down on his knees and...[br]begged you to reconsider, 04:18:59.07,04:19:02.80 whetheryou would, in fact, then... 04:19:02.90,04:19:04.96 reconsider ? 04:19:14.48,04:19:17.65 Yes, I believe I would. 04:19:19.85,04:19:22.95 That's very good news.[br]Um-- 04:19:24.36,04:19:27.82 The readers of Horse & Hound[br]will be absolutely delighted. 04:19:34.70,04:19:38.16 Right. Uh, Dominic, ifyou'd[br]like to askyour question again ? 04:19:38.27,04:19:43.68 Yeah ? Anna, howlong areyou[br]intending to stay here in Britain ? 04:19:51.05,04:19:52.15 Indefi nitely. 04:19:52.15,04:19:53.71 Indefi nitely. 04:20:17.08,04:20:20.01 - What happened ?[br]- It was good.
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