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One Night at McCools

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# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
# A wanted man in Kansas City #
# A wanted man in Ohio #
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man #
Bingo caller:|N-43.
Four-three on the "N".
# There's somebody set to grab me #
# Anywhere that I might be #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might get a glimpse of me #
# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
- And D-48,|That's "D" over the 4-8...
# A wanted man in Ohio #
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man #
Ahem! Psst!
Um, looks like we might|get some rain.
Bingo caller: N-40, that's|40 under the "N".
Huh?
The --
Oh, I'm sorry, I --
My mistake, I thought|you were someone else.
No, no, wait a minute,|kid, kid, kid...
I forgot what|I was supposed to say,
Y'know, like, uh...
"The rain's good|for the farmers,"
"Grow some crops,"|some shit like that.
Mr. Burmeister?
Yeah, Burmeister. Sit down.
Oh, hey, I, uh --|I brought the money.
Pss-pss-pss-- later.
Oh! Yeah.
You're dealing with a professional here.
Bingo.
Hey, a man's|gotta do somethin'.
Besides, it's|too early in the day
to be chasin' pussy.
Carl Harding. Sorry I'm late.
It's your hour.
50 minutes. But who's counting, right?
So, Carl, why don't you --
I'm sorry, before we begin,
Um, please make sure that|the bills go to my office,
not to my house.
- Sure.|- Thank you.
So why don't you|start at the beginning,
and tell me why|you've come to see me.
Right.
You wanna hear about|my mom and my childhood,
is that the kinda shit|you're looking for?
If that's why you're here.
No, it's not.
What do I look like?
Just to set|the record straight,
I Just made partner
at the second-largest law firm|in the state,
so I'm doing very well, thank you.
So I don't|mean to brag, but you asked.
No I didn't.
- Okay.
So you're here because...?
- I'm here because
I've got this thing|going on with a woman --
not my mom!
It's not.
# A wanted man in Albuquerque #
# A wanted man in Syracuse #
# A wanted man in Tallahassee #
# A wanted man in Baton Rouge #
Got a minute?
Uh, in a second.
Come on.
I hope this|is important, Charlie,
I've got Junior choir practice|in twenty minutes.
I need to talk.
This won't keeptill confession?
I really need some helpwith this.
Is it a woman?
Charlie:|I'm so glad you could helpme with this.
I don't know what to do,
I knew you'd helpme|sort this out.
I'm here for you, Charlie,|no matter what it is.
Now, Just take your time,
and tell me everything|about this woman.
I got all day.
I don't usually do|this sort of thing.
Uh-huh.
I've never done this before, y'know?
That's okay, sweetie.
You can start with the next game|on the green sheet.
It's four-card crazy bingo.
Ten dollars.
Lemme get two cups of coffee, please.
Oh, uh, yeah. Two cups for me, too.
O-76...
0-55, 0-5-5.
Y-y-you gotta know, um...
I got my reasons for doing this.
Well, that's nice.
- See, not too long ago,
my life was goin' along Just fine.
I was happy...
Mm-hmm.
Well, maybe I wasn't happy,
but, y'know, I was content.
I had a Job, I had friends...
I had a house...
I had everything but --
That steady bang, huh?
"She," the squeeze, the girlfriend --
whatever you wanna call a chick.
Yeah, right.
And then I met her....
This whole thing|started one night at McCools
The place was packed,|even my cousin Carl was there,
and I was in the zone
Everybodys got their power base --
pouring drinks is my speciality
I was puttin on quite a show
for the frat boys|at the end of the bar
Awright, who wants to take the plunge?
I want it!
Awright, I know|its only bartending,
but hey,|I m good at it
Randy: Awright, folks ,|let's go, wrapit up.
- What a setup!
You must get laid|like...all the time.
- Oh, yeah.
The girls are|linin' uparound the block.
Fuck, I knew it!
They Just can't resist a man
working for tips in the service industry.
Tell me!|Gimme, gimme, gimme...
Y'know, Carl, I appreciate|your comin' down here
and gettin' shit-faced drunk, but --
Haaa!!!
Don't you think it's about time
you went home to Karen and the kids?
Well, that would be a good idea,
except they're|visiting Grandma in Ohio.
What about that thing called a Job?
You might wanna go home|and sober upfor an hour or two
before goin' in|and facing the partners
of Do-We Cheat-Em And How.
Close. You must mean|Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
Take a card, young man,|because you never know.
Oh! What are you|tryin' to do,
you tryin' to|get rid of me?
Hey! Let's go|to one of those after hours clubs.
They got these long,|long- legged girls there,
you can look at them|and maybe touch them.
I gotta close up.
You think Just 'cause I'm married
I don't know about these places?
Just because you are married
means you're gettin' it|a whole lot more than me.
That's a depressing thought.
Carl, you need me|to call you a cab?
Oh, no...
you Just sobered me uppretty good.
Get home safe.
It had been|a fairly busy night
so by the time|I closed the register
and cleaned upthe Joint,
all I wanted to do|was go home
Woman:|Where are you going?!
Stopthe car!!!
Man:|Do you hear what I'm tellin' ya?!
Don't touch me!!!
Get over here!!!
Let go of me!!!
Hey!
Awright, go!
Driver:|Fuck you!!!
And there she was...
This is not the kind of girl
you usually run into|In a dark alley
In fact, this is not|the kind of girl
I ever run into
You okay?
Girl:No, I'm not okay.
Some smelly guy|Just tried to rape me.
- What a Jerk! Here.
You want me to|call the police?
I-I know you're Just|trying to help,
but spending|the rest of the night
with a bunch of ass hole cops
isn't exactly what I need right now.
Your...
Thanks.
You got a smoke?
Huh? No, sorry.
This really is my night.
I bet I could|find you one in the bar.
It's okay.
I'm tryin' to cut down anyway.
You're gonna be okay?|- Yeah.
Okay, alright.|I'll see you around.
Hey!
What are you doin' right now?
- Whaddya mean?
Well, I mean, look,
I Just had this little|unpleasant experience,
and I don't especially|feel like being by myself.
Right, right.
Well, I was Just gonna go home.
You got a stereo?
Well, I got a boom box.
Only one of the speakers|is workin', so...
I don't know if|you call it a stereo.
You wanna go|listen to some music?
Where's your car?
Actually, I Just live|a couple of blocks --
Hun --no car.|- Sorry.
Hey.
So, do you live|in a house or an apartment?
Well, this is it.
You live here alone?
It was my mother's before she died.
You own it?
Yeah.
Oh, you're so lucky.
I've always dreamt|of having my own place.
I know what you're thinking --
The police station|might be cheerier, huh?
It's great.
Yeah.
Lot of potential.
"A lot of potential."
What is she,|a real estate agent?
Can I get you something to drink?
Uh, tapwater,
I got beer,
I got tapwater,
I think I got...
Uh...
I may have a Yoo-Hoo .
- Beer sounds good.
I forgot. I drank|the last one this morning.
Uh, I can make some tea
or, uh, coffee...
That's fine, thanks.
Well, tea, anyway.
Water's fine.|Maybe some ice?
Water.
Ah...
Sorry, no, uh,
no ice.
My freezer's on the blink.
How is it?
What?
The water.
Fine.
Do you like water?
I love it.
It's actually|my second favorite thing in the world.
Really? And what's|your first favorite?
Fucking.
What?!
It's my mom's room.
# The way you move|your sexy body #
# It makes me want to|get to know you #
# A little bit better #
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# Makes me want to|get to know you #
# A little bit better #
# Girl will make your moves #
# Straight through your heart|stingin' on point #
# Like a game of darts #
# Your sexy figure|it makes me figure #
# How to get close to you|and make your coochie shook #
# I'm so into you|I can feel ya groove #
# Don't hold back|Just make your move #
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# Makes me want to|get to know you #
# A little bit better...#
A woman after|my own heart -- heh-heh.
Hun-hun.
You have no idea|what this woman is capable of.
I guess you don't have to|worry about that anymore,
do you?
I don't think of myself|as the kind of person
who's in this kind of office.
When I think about people|who are in therapy,
these are people who don't|have their lives in control.
I am --|I'm in control of my life,
my life is-is in control,
that is not a problem for me.
What about the woman|you mentioned?
Right. Uh...
It started|one night at McCool's...
Its a kind of|a low-rent Joint
Ordinarily I would|never be seen dead
in a place like this
Hey! Who wants to take the plunge?
But on this particular night,
Karen had taken the kids|to Ohio to visit her mom
So I decided to|dropin on my cousin,
who I hadn't seen|in a long time
We re talking about
an adult|who thinks it's fun
to drink out of|a toilet plunger.
I mean, this is|the mentality we're dealing with here.
Let's Just stay focused|on the woman, okay?
Right.
The woman, okay
Well, I look across the room
and I saw
...a very beautiful woman.
I hung around|hoping shed come back,
but she didn t
Okay, time for me to go.
It was pretty late,
and I d had a few drinks
And there she was
Girl:|I'm Just a little bit nervous.
How do I look?
She was with this guy,
and I thought maybe|this is not the best time
to hit on|this particular woman
What is this ,|PMS week?
So I got in my car and
I don't know, I started|to doze off a little,
and I hear all this|screaming and cursing.
Girl:|Don't touch me, asshole!
I'm gettin' out!
Bartender:|Hey!!!
Wow.
Tits.
Driver:|Fuck you!
Therapist:|And you didn't try to help?
Oh, I would have.
But?
I may have fallen asleep.
You should know --
I was practically|forced into this.
Bartender:|Jewel?
Jewel?
I, uh...
I suppose|it's not gonna help
If i tell you|that was really amazing?
I know it was.
That's the problem.
To tell ya the truth...
I only took|one psychology course
in Junior college,
I know there's|supposed to be this thing
where you're sad|or you're guilty after...
Well, I personally|don't suffer from that.
It's not that.
Don't you see?
That guy tonight --
Oh -- oh, that creep|in the firebird?
I know that guy.
Of course|you know the guy.
Let's face it,|you're not the type of girl
who Just Jumps into a car|with some smelly guy
that you don't even know,
I know that.
No....
He and I are...
doing this...
thing.
Oh, shit, I really like you.
What do you mean by "thing"?
He and I get in this fight,
and then you or whoever
comes to my rescue
and takes me home, and then...
He like shows up|and we rob you.
What?
We rob you.
I mean, do you believe that?
I'm shocked.
I-I take it this is
something that|you-you've done before?
Just a couple of times.
I know it sounds sick,
but you don't know Utah, he's nuts.
How does he know|where we are, anyway?
I'm supposed to|call him and tell him.
You-you haven't|done that yet, have you?
Of course not!
Oh, good.
Good...
Um...okay.
I got it.
Don't call him.
Let's call the police instead.
Not if you ever|want to see me again.
Oh, right.
Y'know, I generally
think better|with my shoes on, so...
This guy Utah,|is he a mormon?
Uh, I wouldn't say that.
Oh. I didn't think so.
You know, this guy...
He sounds like|a ma Jor piece of shit, you know?
You wouldn't be|talkin' about me,
would ya, loverboy?
Wh-why didn't you call?
I was Just about to.
Has this guy|got anything worth takin'?
Old TV, a VCR.
He's got a boom box,
but only one speaker works.
A Mr Coffee machine.
Telephone, um...
Oh yeah, and one light|hooked upto the clapper.
Hey, that was my mom's.
Shut your fuckin' mouth!
You stand there,|you call me a piece of shit!
Huh? I'm the piece of shit?
I'm here with my lady,|you understand?
It is a touchy situation!
Has he got a car?
No.
No?
He's pathetic!
You-you don't|got a car?
Everybody's|got a car today --
Even bums don't|not got a car!
What do you do when|you take a chick out,
you go on a bus?
Think you're gonna|get laid on a bus?
Think you're gonna|give some chick
the fuckin' monster on a bus?
Huh?
I got a car...
The "piece of shit's" got a car!
What about Jewelry,|has he got Jewelry?
Just a Swatch
Nice leather band, though.
Oh yeah?|Take it off.
C'mon, you're so slow.
It's right over here.
Awright, you're up,|slugger, let's go.
You want me to open it?
No, I want you|to dance with it --
Move!
Okay.
And if there's|a gun in there, Just leave it.
'Cause you'll|pull it out, you'll get nervous,
you'll wind upmiss in' me,
then I gotta do|what I gotta do with what I got.
Look at me.
Look at me|when I talk to you!
I can't look at you|and look at the safe at the same time.
Oh, excuse me, okay.
You're the big-shot now,|I'm nobody, right?
Okay, I'm over here now.
Excuse me.
Got any other features|on this watch?
It's got a stopwatch.
It's got a stopwatch?
I never figured out|how to use it.
It's simple,|it's this button --
Oh....
What happened?
He was gonna kill you.
Really?
I mean,|he was Just --
He could definitely|tell that there was
something going on|between us, y'know?
How?
Because I've never|actually slept with
any of the other guys|that I've done this with before,
that's how.
Is he dead?
Oh, Jesus.
Do you hate me now?
No, no, no, no.
No.
Oh yes, you do!
No, it's not that, okay?
It's Just the sex|and the violence
all in one night,|it's a little much.
- What are we gonna do now?|- What?
- What are we gonna do now?!|- I don't know!
Well, think of something!
Let's call the police.
That's a good idea.
- Yeah?|- Yeah, really.
And what are we|gonna tell 'em?
We'll tell them|the truth,
I mean, that|he was robbing you
and-and I shot him,|and that's that.
Yeah.
Tell 'em the truth.
I like that.
Uh, since he was|threatening you,
I probably|won't get more than ten years, right?
And with good behavior
-- I could be out in seven...years.
Wait...
Um...
- Let's come upwith another plan.|- What?
I mean, that he|was robbing you
and somebody else shot him?|Who?
Well, we could say|that I shot him.
That won't work.
It's ridiculous,|it would never work that way, it's--
Well, maybe...
Well, I mean, let's...
Let's go over it.
Okay.
- He was robbing the place.|- Yes.
- He did get shot, right?|- Mm-hmm.
So that's|two out of three.
What's that,|that's sixty-seven percent true,
I mean, that's|pretty good these days, right?
Right.
That's some first date,|killin' her boyfriend.
Well, it gave|the relationship a certain intensity.
Charlie:|It all started one night at McCools
Earl Raymond Pitts.
Had a list of priors|goin' back to the womb.
Seriously.
He was born in|Dwight Correctional.
His mother had twins|while she was doin' a bit for narcotics.
You mean|there's another one out there like him?
Huh. Yeah.
He went by the name "Utah."
"Utah" ...|The Mormon State?
Yeah. Don't ask me.
I'm a little unclear on this.
He was holding|a gun on you,
But you were able|to get your gun
and shoot him point-blank|in the back of the head?
Yeah, right.
It-it all happened|kinda fast.
So...
he was standing|in front of you,
and then...what?
He heard something?
Right.
He turned around,|you grabbed your gun...
Right.
Which was where?
Uh...
- Hidden next to the safe?|- Right.
Just in case|something like this ever happened.
He turned around,|you grabbed your gun, and pow!
Exactly --|that's exactly how it happened.
About what time was this?
Huh?
About what time|was this?
Oh, uh...
Just before I called 911 .
Thanks.
Hey.
It's res ponsible citizens|Just like yourself
that make my Job|a lot easier.
You can imagine my mood,
getting roused|from a sound sleep
to go scoopsome citizen|off a barroom floor
- You wanna talk to the lady?|- What lady?
His.
Does she have|anything to do with it?
Nah, she was|waitin' for him back at their house,
he didn't show,|she got worried,
came here|lookin' for him.
Let her go.
Awright.
You're free|to go, miss.
Suddenly|my whole life changed
Like Theresa had|come back from the dead
She even looks|a little like Theresa.
So this girl,|she's good in the sack, huh?
I'm sorry, man,|you get my age,
you like to hear|about the old un!
Sorry.
- O-18, 1-8 under the "O".
Nice ass?
Mr. Chick Fife,|telephone call.
Mr. Chick Fife, please|call your cardiologist.
You takin' the rap|for the shooting
musta worked out okay.
Your boss, he musta|treated you like a hero.
Oh, kid....
Death and good times,
they don't mix.
I can't have people|comin' in here
lokin' for a good time,
seein' you and thinkin',
"uh-oh, that's the one
"that put a bullet|in the guy's head.
"Maybe he's gonna serve me
"my strawberry daiquiri|and onion rings,
"or maybe he's gonna|go postal on my ass!!!"
Joey, the guy was|tryin' to rob your bar.
He didn't take nothin'!
You put a bullet|in his friggin' noggin!
You're gone! Go!!!
Hello!
Wh-what are you doin'?
What does it look like?|I'm ironing.
We're not there yet, are we?
What do you mean|we're not there yet?
We're movin' a little fast here, Jewel.
- Yeah?|- Hi, how ya doin'. Need your signature.
- What's this?|- 1-800-Mattress.
I didn't order|any mattress.
Dammit!
How are we supposed|to pay for this stuff?!
Jewel:|God, Randy, I Just thought
we really had something,
or at least the start of something.
But obviously|I'm incredibly stupid.
You're not stupid.
I'll be out of your life|in Just a few minutes.
I didn't say|I wanted you out of my life.
Ha!
It's Just...with the ironing,
the-the new mattress,
they all Just|seem like things
that are a little further|down the line,
that's all.
Further|down the line
than all the sex|we've been having?
Any further down the line|than killing Utah together?
You're right...
you know what, it's me.
I lost my Job today.
You what?
I got canned.
Oh, baby,|why didn't you say so?
Aw...|are you okay?
I guess.
Oh....
Mmm....
Oh, your cousin called.
The lawyer.
We're going over|to his house on Saturday
for a barbecue.
So Carl invites me|over to his house for a barbecue.
Now, Carl never|invites me over,
so I'm thinkin'|to myself, why now?
Here you go.
That's sweet.
Thanks.
That is some|ma Jor league pussy.
Ha ha ha!
I meant that|in a good way.
You bangin' her?
She must have|fucked you senseless
when she found out|you shot a guy?
Because I read that|women cream for the violence.
I don't know|what that is.
When you're fuckin' her, though,|because she's so young, is it --
I'm gonna see if|they want some helpin the kitchen.
I'm Just asking.
I mean, look at her!
It's like havin'|a porn star in my house!
Except she's|makin' salad.
You have such|a beautiful house -- it's so homey.
That's all Karen,|believe me.
I wanted to go with|lots of stainless steel,
something we could Just|pssh! Hose it right off.
A lot of this stuff|we don't even use,
so if you really|like it, take it.
Thank you, Jewel.
It's always been my dream|to have a real nice house.
I already know exactly|what it'll look like --
Wall-to-wall carpeting|with matching drapes,
and a big, fluffy white couch,
nice dining room set,
and in the corner...
a fountain.
A fountain?
It's gonna be...
It's gonna be great.
It's of a little girl|washing her hair
and the water runs off|into a giant sea shell
with goldfish|swimming in it.
I didn't Just make it up,|I saw it in a magazine.
Better Homes|and Fountains?
Carl!
Hey, Randy, you got a fountain|in your place, don't ya?
In the living room --
Oh no, that's|a leaky toilet.
My mistake.
You know what, Carl?|You're not funny -- Just rude.
- Let's get together some time.|- That's a good idea.
Bye.|Hey, c'mon.
Mmm....
Okay, okay!|Ha ha ha!
Okay.
Why don't you|let Carl run you home?
No, I'm afraid|that's where your luck runs out.
I can't drive,|I've been drinkin'.
Would you|buy a car?
One of these days.
Make him|buy a car, would ya?
Let's go catch|that 4:15 bus,
Let's get|the hell out of here.
Randy:|Buy a car --
I wish he hadn t|put that idea in her head
What's this?
Oh, a friend of mine's|goin' away for a little while...
So she said|I could borrow it.
Well, what happens|when your friend gets back?
We're gonna be used|to havin' a car by then.
So?
- Then we're gonna have to buy one.|- So?
It's a bottomless pit|of expenses!
You got in surance,|you got repairs, car payments--
You're Just afraid|because now you don't
have an excuse|for not finding work, aren't you?
Stopright there,|this has nothing to do with work.
Did you know|it's safer to fly
than it is|to drive a car?
You're upset with me
Because I didn't|bring you home a plane?
Another thing, if you think
I'm gonna be out there
with a hose and a bucket of suds
to wash the damnthing,|you can forget it -- I'm not that guy.
Well, fine.|I'll wash the car.
God, you're|full of shit.
What's that?|I'm full of shit?
Yes.
Lemme tell ya --|I have seen people
leave the bar so drunk|they can't even see,
and off they speed
in their giant|sports utility vehicles.
Well, you run into|one of these guys out on the street,
and you're gonna die,|and you're gonna die ugly!
Would you relax?
Christ, look at this house!
Uh... I come at|a bad time?
Uh, no.
Randy:|And then that damndetective dropped in
As if i wasn t|stressed-out enough
I'll let you two talk.
What'd he want?
Oh, you know, he's a cop.
They're never satisfied
unless they ask you|everything ten times.
After that night at McCool's|I was a mess.
I couldn't concentrate...
I couldn't sleep...
I could barely eat.
Nothin' deep-fried, anyway.
I had this longing...
Something inside of me said|I had to see that woman again
Boy, was I glad I got there|at that exact moment
He was getting very abusive
You're gonna die,|and you're gonna die ugly!
It was like I had been chosen|for a very special assignment
Not by the department,|but by a higher power
I was being sent|to save her from him
Oh...
Did I...come at a bad time?
Uh, no.
Didn't seem possible,
but she was even more beautiful|than the night I first saw her.
And I said, Good afternoon,
then she said,|I Il let you two talk
Then he said --
Not bad, huh?
There was something about him|I Just didn't like.
According to your statement,
you closed the bar at one-thirty.
You didn't call|to report the shooting
until three-fifty-eight.
I need to know what you were doing during|that time frame.
Haven't we already|gone over all this stuff, man?
Hey, uh, Jewel, how about
crackin' me open a brew, huh?
I don't know, it was, uh,
I had to count all that money,
It was a busy-ass night, awright?
I think on this night
we had those frat boys in there,
and a couple of 'em --
Whoa, whoa -- whaddya doin'?
This guy's a cop.
He can't drink,|he's on the Job!
Why don't ya do somethin',|y'know, make yourself useful.
All right.
I'll be outside --|was hing the car.
Yeah, you do that.
Man, I'm sorry about her.
How can I not|question our Creator
for putting this...
...human obscenity|into the presence
of such a...
...divine creature.
Anyway, that was the night|we had all these frat boys in
and they're|taking "the plunge."
A couple of 'em|ended upin the bathroom
and barfin' up|all over the floor...
I wasn't listening|to a word he was saying
I could only|think about her
I felt so guilty,
like I was betraying|the memory of Theresa
but I couldn t|take my eyes off her
# Well I think it's time #
# To get ready #
# To realize|Just what I have found #
# I have been only half #
# Of what I am #
# It's all clear to me now #
# My heart is on fire #
# My soul's like|a wheel that's turning #
# My love is alive #
# My love is alive #
# Yeah yeah yeah #
# Whoo! ##
Can you imagine|how i felt?
You should see|what she does with my hose.
I don't know what|would make me
invite him over|for barbecue.
You did say|you were going to.
Hmm?
Yeah, but --
I say a lot of things.
Why do you|think you did?
I don't know.
You tell me.
The woman?
Carl:|You know, he brings her
and shes wearing|this nothing of a dress,
its a slip!|I mean, you can see everything
For a barbecue.
No, no, wait a second,|what am I thinking? Hot pants.
They re like|cupping everything,
and-and this top--
You could definitely|see her stomach
Wait! No, no no --|sorry, it was a dress.
It was a dress, like a,|like a summer kind of
farmer girl dress, you know?
With like, cherries and plums and --
- Okay.|- little fruits.
Shes walking|and shes bouncing
and the grapes|and the melons,
and they're Just|ba-boom, ba-boom --
That's fine,|thank you.
She's so sexy,|but pretty!
- Okay, all right!|- No!
All right!|That's enough!
I get the picture!|Let's Just go on with the story.
So then --
In any case,
the reason I called you was
you're one guy I can trust
in a situation like this.
I got a guy with a hole|in the back of his head
where the exit wound was...
# Oh were you Just|pleased to see me #
# As you all know #
# You better take care #
# Treat me with respect #
# Because love is rare #
# As you all know #
# You better beware #
# Treat me with respect... ##
Um, would anybody care|for another burger?
I'll have a hot dog.
If you have one.
And then she grabs me|and she says,
Lets get together sometime
So she was|coming on to you?
Yeah.
It doesn't surprise me, really.
It doesn't.
No, 'cause --
I mean, I don't mean|to sound full of myself, but...
But what?
You're irresistible?
Women...|women find me attractive.
Do you think|I'm attracted to you?
Well, you're a doctor,
so I think you have|that professional reserve.
But even so,
I think I felt something|when I walked in the office.
It's okay, don't worry about it.
You don't wanna|hear about all this.
No, no, no --|go on, go on.
You got the car,
you're feelin' good|about yourself again,
and boom!
The sex picks up|again, right?
Well, not exactly.
I was watchin a lot of cable
- Randy!
Randy.
Can we talk?
Sure.
What did you do all day?
I'm watchin' this|Norwegian movie again,
Maria Marushka
It's really good.
Randy.. I think|not having a Job
is starting to get to you.
No. It's not having any money|that's starting to get to me.
Well, that is why|I think we need to talk.
With what they pay me|at the store
we can barely cover our bills,
not to mention|the new dinette set I want,
or the window treatments|I want in this room.
Well, I'm sorry,|there's not much more I can do.
I mean, nobody|seems to be hiring.
That's why I went|to McCool's today
and spoke to|your old boss, Joey.
What!
You didn't go down there|and-and beg him
to give me my Job back!
Of course I didn't!
Good.
But I am going to|The Moody Blues with him.
- What?|- Tomorrow night.
He seems to think|they're the Second Coming,
but they're really|not my cupof tea.
Wait a minute!|Why are you doing this?
I'm doing this for us|as a couple, Randy.
And more importantly,|I'm doing this for you
and your sense|of self-worth.
Huh?
I think that you have|a lot of anger towards Joey,
and that because of that,
you feel less of a man
because of his power|to take away your livelihood.
You think i'm gonna|have less anger
and feel like more of a man|if you start dating this guy?!
No.
I'm suggesting|that tomorrow night
when you know|he's at the concert,
you go to his house
and you steal|everything of value
you can fit into our car.
You're Joking.
No.
I mean, come on,|the guy fired you.
And he still owes you|six hours overtime, right?
I Just don't think he knows|what he had with you.
You're so wonderful,
You're the best bartender|I've ever seen, by far.
You know, the way|you worked those crowds,
you really had 'em|in the palm of your hand.
You know what|you reminded me of?
What?
A rock star.
Really?
Really.
I don't know...
I Just...
I don't see myself|doing something like that.
It's crazy.
Once we fence|all his stuff,
we'll make a pretty nice|chunk of change.
Look, forget it!
There's no way.
Absolutely not.
But you did it,|of course.
Yeah, I did it.
I knew Joey would have|A big CD collection
And I was surprised at all|the other cool stuff he had
You know,|Jewel must have taken
a few more psychology courses|than me,
because as crazy as I thought|the whole idea was,
as reluctant as I was|to do it,
by the end of the evening,|I felt great
I still wonder how|she talked me into it.
Here's a wild guess.
Yeah.
That probably had|somethin' to do with it.
# I got money in my pocket #
# I've got lovin' in the air #
# There is nothin'|that will stopme #
# And I really|Just don't care #
# I Just want to|live my life #
# That's the way|it's gonna be #
# And nothin's|gonna pull me down #
# 'Cause you know|that I believe #
# The sun's gonna shine #
# Shine #
# It's gotta be love|from the very start #
# It's gotta be love|from the very start... ##
Jewel?
The Indian stays.
I wasn't gonna|throw him away.
Randy:|For a while there,
we almost seemed|like a normal couple
Burmeister:|You re slammin it night and day,
poppin' your cork|like a bartender at a mob wedding,
then one day, like it always happens,
all that good nookie turns sour on ya.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Oh, nothing. Trash.
Ah-ah-ah.
Randy, come on,
we have to throw|some things away.
But not my|Sno-Globes, come on!
Can't we Just compromise|and throw one Sno-Globe away?
Jewel, these|came from my mom.
See this one here?
She brought it back|from Chicago.
See, it's got|the Sears Tower here,
and this one here|is very special.
Ya see, my mom|used to say that
this was our house,
and as long as|I never broke it,
we'd always have|a place to stay.
I knew|s he was only Joking, but still...
You're a sick puppy, man.
So what kind of Job|do you have at this point?
I hadn't got one yet.
It was sort of|an ongoing problem between us.
I-29, I-2-9.
I was offered|the lunch shift at TGl-Friday's...
You lucky stiff.
I actually thought|it was kind of a stepdown
from unemployment,|I mean...
No, you got it,|you won -- I-29.
Oh yeah.
Um..
Uh, bingo.
We have a winner!
I gotta be honest|with you, my young friend.
I'm leaning towards|the girl on this one,
I mean, she's made your dump|nice and livable,
you're gettin'|good action on the mattress...
Bingo person:|Hold onto it till you cash out.
Least you could do|is make some money.
Maybe you should be|playin' bingo.
That's why...
we decided|to do another...
you know, break-in.
What do you mean, "we"?
Yeah, Jewel and me,
I mean, I'm no criminal.
I bet he's got a DVD.
I'd love to|have one of those.
Whoa.
We're going to Montague's,
so I borrowed something
from the designer section|at the store.
I Just think|you might have overshot,
I mean,|even for Montague's.
Really?
Yeah.
You know...
...maybe we shouldn't|be doing this.
The burglary?
- Yeah.|- Oh, Randy!
Joey's is one thing,|but this is something else.
Would you be happier|if we weren't?
Sure, wouldn't you?
I'll show you|what makes me happy.
These are all|pictures from magazines,
things I've saved.
Things that I want|in my house someday.
I've been carrying this thing
around with me for years.
Whenever I feel lonely|or get depressed,
I Just add in a new couch
or a new set of drapes and...
I don't know, Just dream.
It makes me happy|to think that someday
I might actually|live in the kind of house
that looks like|it belongs in a magazine.
You want me to be happy,|don't you, Randy?
Of course I do.
Burmeister:|So who was it this time?
Randy:|Just some guy --
God knows how they met
They were going to some|fancy restaurant, Montagues
Jewel was sure|she could keephim there
for at least three hours
It was a good thing, too,
because it was gonna|take a little time
to clean this guy out --|he had everything
At first I couldn't find|his DVD player,
and I really needed to,|since Jewel wanted one
So I went upstairs,|and there it was
DVD!
Bingo!
Him again?!
You gotta be careful|when you say "bingo" in here.
Bingo lady:|Not to worry, that was a false alarm.
Sorry.
It was like some game show
where they send you|on a shopping spree
I found a nice new Rolex --
much nicer than|my old Swatch .
Unfortunately,|this guy was I guess a midget
And then things|started goin wrong
What's this?
This is the place|where it all happens, baby.
Come on.
Mi casa,|es su casa
Greg! I thought we were|going out somewhere!
Why go out, baby?
We got it all right here!
Best sound system|you ever heard,
a little hot tub,|swimming pool...
The Gregster might even|break out his secret stash
of blow.
Uh, Greg...
Uh, I thought, uh...
Why don't we|Just drive for a little longer,
this car makes me so hot!
I'll leave the front door open|if you wanna follow me, okay?
Jewel:|Greg?
Score!
Oh, shit!
Greg?
Greg?
Greg!!!
Randy!
I had a feeling|you'd find your way.
This is a nice house.
Too bad you're|such a shit.
Heh!
Greg:|A little dirty-talker.
Okay, okay,|come on, let's talk.
Why don't we go downstairs|and have a drink?
I have a better idea, baby.|Let's talk after.
Bitch!
Come on, baby,|come on!
Get off me!
Ha ha!
Bitch.
You like it a little rough, huh?
Oh, yeah, you wanna play?
We'll play rough.
We'll play very --
Ungh!
Oh, my God,|I don't believe this .
What is it with you?
Everywhere you go,|there's a dead guy.
Take the DVD.
Take the DVD!
I'm not takin' the DVD.
Why not?
Well, I don't know,
it Just does n't seem right.
It was all right before?
Before there wasn't|a dead guy Iyin' on the floor.
Y'know, I never|saw a dead person till i met you.
The guy was|trying to rape me,
does that mean|anything to you?
Now take the DVD!
I'm not takin' the DVD!
Don't you want to live|in the type of house
that has a first-rate|home entertainment center,
including a DVD?
I already got|his big-screen.
I don't see the difference|between taking his big-screen
or taking his DVD --|I want that DVD.
'Cause the big-screen|is already down in the car.
Jewel:|I get all dressed up,
I get a friggin' shiner,
I don't get dinner,
and I don't get the DVD --
Randy:|I didn't care about the TV,
I was Just doin this|to make Jewel happy
But you didn't|take the DVD.
TV: A local attorney|was found slain this morning...
Jewel:|I do not believe we were in that|gazillion-dollar house
and we didn't end up|with a thing.
Did you forget|about the dead guy on the floor?
No, I did not forget about|the dead guy on the floor,
but we're not|talking about him right now,
we're talking about the dead guy|on the floor's stuff,
and he had a lot of stuff,|stuff we could have taken
if you weren't such a chickens hit.
What's that?
So now|I'm a chicken shit, is that it?
Yes, I believe that's|the technical term for what you are.
Yeah, well,|I'd rather be a chicken shit
than whatever|the hell is it that you are.
I'm the woman|living with the chicken shit.
Not for long.
Yeah, not for long,|that's right,
because I need a real man,|someone I can count on,
not a chicken shit like you.
Ah, good, company.
TV:|Thus far, police have no leads...
It's that cop!
Aren't you glad we don't have
a lot of stolen stuff|Iyin' around now?
You're a genius.
- Hi.|- Morning.
Thought you'd wanna know
we closed the investigation|on the shooting at McCool's,
no charges will be filed.
We're gonna let you slide|on the unregistered gun
'cause it was self-defense.
Thanks.
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some|pretty nasty bruises.
Huh?
Oh yeah, she --|had an accident.
Accident?
Would you mind if I|talk to her for a minute?
Sure.
Alone?
Okay.
At the time, I was glad|Jewel was gonna talk to him
She knew how to|handle the cops,
what to say|to get rid of em
She was good that way
Whatever happened in there,
she doesn't want|to talk about it.
That's 'cause|nothing happened.
What we do in these|domestic violence situations
is ask you to|vacate the premises.
What domestic violence?!
I will go to a Judge who will|issue a restraining order
which means you are not|allowed on this property --
This is my house!
Or within 100 yards of your wife|until this matter is settled.
She's not my wife!
That's too bad --|you'd have more rights if she were.
You expect me to|Just walk away?
If you don't, I'm afraid|I'm gonna have to arrest you.
You can't be serious!
This-- this--|can't I Just talk to her?
I don't think that would|be wise at this time, sir.
Whatever she told you,|she's-- she--
It's not true,
y'know, okay?
Hey, Jewel, honey,|could you come out here, please?
I could still book you|on the unregistered gun.
Hun!
Jewel!
Would you be kind enough|to tell the police officer
that I didn't hit you!
Would you please|tell the officer
that I didn't|do anything to you?
Don't make me|use force, sir.
Jewel!
Jewel!
Randy:|I couldn't believe it
I was so pissed at her|I thought I was gonna explode
Well, I gotta admit,|she's not perfect.
Not perfect?!
Charlie:|She's like this pure, delicate flower,
I Just wanted|to protect her.
- But, uh, she was|living with another man.
- That piece of slime?|he didn't deserve her.
And you did?
I don't know.
Oh, Charlie.
I was totally|cons umed by her.
My every thought|was of her.
I was walkin' around in a haze.
People talked to me,
but I didn't hear|what they were saying
Cop:|Gregory Potter Spradling.
A lawyer at|Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
- What did he do?
"Do"?
For a living.
Lawyer. Ragsdale,|Hersch & Klein.
- It doesn't|make sense.
Why would you go|to all the trouble
of stealing a big-screen TV|and leave a DVD behind?
Poor guy
The only thing|goin through my head
was her
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some|pretty nasty bruises.
Would you mind if I|spoke to her for a minute?
Knock yourself out.
Charlie, what is it?
Why would God fill me|with this desire
If I wasn't|meant to be with her?
Sometimes some time apart|is the best thing.
I could arrange that.
Would I get to|stay in the house?
A temporary|restraining order
would keephim way|for...90 days.
But permanently?
You'd have to get a lawyer.
Do you know one?
Yeah. I know one.
She called you?
Yes-- I didn't call her.
She tells me things|are going badly with Randy,
so I thought|maybe I could helpher out
and introduce her to|one of the guys in my office.
In fact, I did, I once introduced her|to this other attorney,
Greg, who's this...
...guy who was murdered.
Anyway, she Just knew|that Karen and I were having problems.
Were you?
Yes, you could say that.
Sexual problems?
Hey, you know...
Okay, if you want|to label it, yeah.
But I'm not saying|it's Karen's fault.
Was it your fault?
Maybe it was|Karen's fault.
Was there sex between|you and this woman?
Yes.
You want it now,|lawyer boy?
- Yes! Yes, please!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
What happened there?
Wh-why'd we stop?
What?
I need to ask you|for a favor.
Anything at all --|anything!
Um-hmm, um-hmm.
I'm gonna need|some legal advice soon.
You got it!
You got it.
You aren't Just saying that?|- You got it.
You want this?|You like it?
Can you helpme?
Anything!|- Say it!
I will give you|legal advice.
Say it!|- I will give you legal advice!
- Say...it!!!
I'm saying, I will give you|legal advice.
Yeah?|- Whooah!
-She whipped you?|- Yes.
With a whip?|- Yes.
And you en Joyed it?
Yes.
Charlie|I spent so much time
going by her house,
ifyou didn't know|my intentions were pure
you d think I was stalking her
Hello.
Hi.
I looked for any excuse|to go see her
I spoke to|a friend of mine
about helping you|with keeping the house.
Oh, good. Thanks.
I, uh, I Just
wish I had known|a bit sooner.
See, I already sort of contacted|this other lawyer.
Well, if you'd|rather use him --
It's Just that I'm not sure if I can|get my retainer back.
Well, lawyers--
They'll always try to|find a way to screw you.
Yeah.
Well, I-I better --
I, uh --|- Yeah?
I was making|some supper...
If you'd like to...
It's nothing special.
Surely this was|the hand of God.
How do you mean, Charlie?
In an instant I was transformed|from a broken man, made whole.
It was like Theresa|had been brought back to me
She even looked like Theresa --
The way she moved,
The way she smiled
# Her skin is like velvet #
# Her face cut from stone #
# Her eyes when|she's smiling... #
Can I helpyou with that?|- No thanks.
I'll be right back.
She even made linguini|with tomatoes and onions
like Theresa used to
Linguini with|tomatoes and onions.
Jeez.
What's that?
Oh -- Nothing.
Probably Just a cat|got into the garbage.
Bread?|- Thanks.
How come you never|wear a uniform?
I'm a detective.
Sometimes I do,|it depends.
I bet you look|real good in it.
I couldn't wipe|the goofy smile off my face
I was so happy
Because of her|I lost my Job,
I lost my house,
I'm an accessory|in not only one, but two murders.
- Shh!
Randy:|I couldn't stopthinking about her
Okay, maybe I wasn t|allowed on the property,
but that didn't mean I couldn t|keepan eye on her
And then
she did something|that sent me over the edge
I knew I had to|do something
something drastic|to salvage
what little I had left
I got the ten thousand.
Bingo parlor, right?
Burmeister:|Yeah.
The code is,
I say, "lt looks like we might|get some rain"...
We came upwith a code.
I said, "Looks like|we might get some rain"--
Yeah, yeah,|I know this part.
Yeah, right.
You slept with|Randy's girlfriend?!
I mean, it's not like|I never did anything for him.
He called and he|needed ten grand,
so I advised him for free,
I advised him|how he could borrow
against that old crappy house|his mom left him.
You're missing the point.
How did you feel after you slept|with your cousin's girlfriend?
He's not even a cousin, really,
He's my uncle's wife's brother's kid.
So he's not a blood relative|or anything.
Did she ever call|and ask for legal advice?
No. No. I keepwaiting.
It's like she's teasing me.
I'm dying to give her legal advice.
I Just seem to be thinking|about her more and more
Woman:|Excuse me.
There's a police detective|here to see you about Greg.
Sure.
Thanks.
- Sorry about the mess,
I'm in the middle|of changing offices.
How well did you know|Greg Spradling?
Uh, not that well,
we worked here for|the last four or five years.
You were both upfor the same promotion,|weren't you?
No, not --
Not really.
Greg was a good guy --
No disrespect for the dead --
Not really partner material.
So no matter who|I'm talking to,
she's Just --|she's on my mind.
Can you think of anything|that might be useful to us
in our investigation?
Sounds to me like he|picked upsome rough trade.
Who knows what happened?
There could have been...
...leather.
There could have been|some bondage...
Maybe those spiky things...
Maybe some whipping.
Could have been pretty kinky.
But we all know|what that's like, right?
No sir, I don't.
That's how much|she messed me up.
I mean, I'm being|investigated for a murder,
and all I can|think about is her.
And the whip?|- Yes.
There was another reason|I went to see her that day.
Something had come up|at work
The shoeprints we found|on Winfield road
turned out to be|Converse All-Stars,
the same brand|the boyfriend wore
And if he was there,
there was a chance|she might have been
I had the same sick feeling|in my stomach
that I had when I was|waiting for The results
to come back from the lab|at the hospital
Unfortunately, her print did|match one at the murder site
That scum,|that boyfriend of hers
There's no telling|what he forced her to do
before I came along --|I wasn't going to let her
get dragged into|a murder investigation
I knew she had|nothing to do with it
There's something|I have to ask you.
Is it an inside question|or an outside question?
There was a burglary last week|on Winfield Road.
A man was killed.
- Was she able|to convince you
that she didn't have anything|to do with it?
She was very convincing
It was a miracle!
# The way you move #
# Your sexy body #
# It makes we want|to get to know you #
# A little bit better. #
Sex?!
Oh --
There was sex?
God helpme,|It was wonderful.
No, for me to helpyou,
I-I need to|hear everything.
See, you have to|tell me all about
the-the-various acts|of physical congress between --
- I already told you that.
Okay, no, that's fine,
I'm not-- it doesn't--
I shouldn't|have done that.
It's okay,|I wanted to.
Are you going to|arrest Randy?
I've got a warrant|out for him now.
That car he's driving|is stolen.
Add a murder charge to that
and you won't see him for a long time.
So I'll get to keepthe house.
This...
This is all I have left.
How not perfect|can one woman be?
Aces in the boink department.
Got yourself|a snazzy new watch.
Like this is supposed|to make everything better?
But you gotta admit,|that's a beaut.
Here's the money,|Just take it.
Take it. Take it!|- Shh!
Kid -- easy, easy.
Would the owner of|a blue Geo Metro
Missouri license plates|87KP03 please report
to the front desk.
Is that my car?
You got any idea|what they want?
No.
Is there any possibility|that she might have --
Stolen?|- Yeah.
Bingo lady:|I want to remind everyone
that Saturday is "Hawaiian night."
She gave me a stolen car.
Women are much more complicated|than we think they are.
C'mon, let's|get out of here.
Announcer:|We'll get back to the game
as soon as the troopers|finish their business.
Cop:|Sir, is this your car?
Burmeister:|That piece of shit?
Officer, what do|I look like?
You know,|to tell you the truth,
she doesn't sound worse|than most of 'em.
- But you'll|do it, right?
Business is business.
# A wanted man in Mississippi #
# A wanted man in old Cheyenne #
# Wherever you might look tonight #
# You might see this wanted man ##
What do you think?
Oh, what do I think?
Oh, the flesh is weak...
But ours is a forgiving God.
But I destroyed evidence
I withheld information|for a murder investigation
- Charlie, look --
You deserve some happiness.
The kind of happiness that a...
...a good woman can bring a man.
Oh...
Yes, I have this great Job
and this great office|and this great family
and this great house --
How does this|make you feel?
Empty.
I feel nothing.
And who knows,|it happened so fast.
I mean, here's this guy|in my office --
-- what is he,|thirty-five years old --
and he goes like that.
I could walk out|of your office
and get hit by a truck.
I don't want to live like that anymore.
Let me Just feel something, anything,
and then I will look up|and I will say,
"Thank you, God.|Thank you for that gift."
And...then if the truck|wants to get me, then okay.
And then I meet this woman.
She makes me feel...
Thank you.
Oh...
I'm sorry.
- Have you acted on your desire|to see this woman again?
Do you think I should?
Time's up.
What?
Sorry, time's up.
What, are you kidding me?
Are you Joking?|- Your time's up.
Do you think I should see her?|Just tell me that!
# A wanted man in California #
# A wanted man in Buffalo #
# A wanted man|in Kansas City... #
So this is it, huh?
Could be Boise or Boston.
Point is, she ain't|anywhere around.
Check in, you get yourself known.
Go out, talk to the clerks in stores,|waitresses, the works.
You got a calling card?|- Yeah.
Make some long distance calls .
Anything to prove you've|been here for a couple of days.
Awright?|- Gotcha.
Not so fast, Slick.
Now I'll take the money.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.|Ten thousand dollars.
You're not gonna count it?
Nah.
You trust me?
No. But I do kill people.
Right.
I'll be callin' by seven.
You think I'm a bad person?
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Would you like to|try our new fragrance?
Good after --
- No thanks.
Hi sir. Would you like|to try our new fragrance?
No thanks.
Yeah?
Hey buddy, It's me, Randy.
- Hey, I was Just talkin'|to somebody about you.
What, uh, what's up?
- Not a whole hell of a lot.
I'm Just here in Collinsville.
Jewel and I needed a little time|away from each other.
Oh...
So, uh, so she didn't go with you?
- No, man.
So she's-- She's home,
she's all by herself now?
Jewel and I had a little bit of a tiff.
Good. Spend a coupla days away|and let things cool off.
And you know what?|Thing's will work out fine.
Do you really think so?|- Absolutely!
Okay.
Stay there! Okay.
TV:|Are you all alone?|Are you heartbroken?
Did something happen|to the romance?
Did things get out of hand,
and now you're afraid|they've gone too far?
Are you about to lose|that someone special forever?
If you are one of the|97 out of 100 men
who surveys tell us|suffer deepemotional pains,
then I am talking to you!
Don't lose that someone --|Act now!
We have psychics trained|and standing by
to helpyou through this difficult period.
Don't lose that special someone!
Pick upthe phone
and bring the Jewel back into your life!
Tomorrow may be too late...
Call EPS now!|Don't waste another minute!
Man:|Hey! What are you doing!?
Garbage man:|Hey!
Come on!
Carl:|# When love comes|rollin' upyour way #
# Open up|and let that breeze blow #
# 'Cause today's|your lucky day #
No, I don't want|to talk to the kids.
Can you Just tell them?
Don't-don't put them on.
You don't have to --|Hi, Sweetie!
Um, ah, no.|Daddy's not gonna be home.
What do you mean?
Well, how did the dog get out?
Well, where's his leash?
Okay, Daddy's gotta --
Daddy's gotta go.
- Dad, don't --|Okay, Sweetheart.
Cosmetic department, please.
Cosmetic department!
Bye.
you can't Just|barge into somebody's house!
Keepyour hands up, Scummo.
You are in big trouble.
You need a search warrant.
I happen to be an attorney.
I Just made partner
at the second-largest|law firm in the state.
That's where|I've seen you before.
You need|a search warrant.
This is my|girlfriend's house!
Bullshit! This is|Randy Weltzer's house.
He happens to be|my cousin.
He's your cousin?|- Yes.
And as his attorney,|I can assure you
that he will be|filing a suit against you
and the entire|St. Louis Police Department.
Well, I guess it'll be|right after he stands trial
for the murder of your former associate|Gregory Spradling.
Wh-what?!
Are you crazy?
Mister, you better take a good long|look in the mirror
before you call|somebody else crazy.
Get your clothes on.|I'm takin' you in.
Okay, um, for what?
For murder.
You and Spradling were in competition|for the same position.
So you and your...
...gay incestuous lover|killed him.
What?! No--
First of all, I am not gay.
Interesting choice of wardrobe, then.
I'm married, with two kids.
Ha ha!
I'm so not gay,
I'm here to fuck|my cousin's girlfriend.
I oughta shoot you|right now.
He's not really my cousin,
he's my uncle's wife's|brother's kid.
That's enough!
- Come on, hey!
Freeze!|Freeze!!!
You're making|a very big mistake.
You better watch it, buddy,|I am an attorney!
Get down!
You're making|a very serious mistake!
Shut up!|- Ungh!!!
Un!!! You're|in big trouble!
Carl:|Okay, here she is.
She'll clear up|this whole thing.
What are you|doing here?!
Uh, Carl...
What's goin' on?
It's not what|it looks like.
Why are you|wearing that?
Like you don't know.
Hey, I'm not the one
who's got him|bent over the table.
This is official|police business.
Carl, what are you|doing here?!
Where is Jewel?
It was Just that one time|with me and Jewel, I swear.
What do you mean,|one time?
You're Iyin'.|She never let you touch her.
Yeah, not like you,|her "boyfriend."
Do you believe that?|He calls himself Jewel's boyfriend!
I'm warning you.
Where is she?!
I was expecting her|here any minute!
Why do you think I'm dressed like this,|for Halloween?
You're dressed like that|because your perverted cousin --
Wait a minute.|We gotta find her!
You are violating a restraining order|and are under arrest!
You don't understand.
Someone is coming here|to kill her!
Him?
Huh?
No.
Which one of you homos
killed my brother?
I'm not gay --
Shut up!
I understand the man|that killed my brother, Utah,
he lives here.
And I'm not leaving|'till I kill him.
Now, which one of you was it?
I said, which one of you
was it!?
I-I-I'm an attorney.
I'm sure you and your brother|were very close -- that's good.
Avenging his death,|wanting to avenge his death,
that's admirable,|who doesn't understand that?
But as a lawyer...
What the hell?
Jewel:|You want to explain to me
what you're doing
looking through|the window of my house?
Give me your gun.
I lost my dog, uh --
he came off his leash.
And you need|a .357 for that?
Well, it's|a rough neighborhood...
... Jewel.
You should know that.
Look at these guys.
Carl:|Legally, you're swimming
against the current here,
but you've got|think about the fact
that if you kill|all three of us,
you will be adding here,|and I'm Just guessing,
a second and possibly|third strike
to your record.
Which would be|heading you
to some very serious prison time.
You I'll kill|Just for annoying me.
Now, I would appreciate
if the man that|killed my brother Utah
would stepforward|and take responsibility
for their actions,
or I will have|no other choice
than to kill all you daN...
...Village People!
Now...somebody
better damnwell
start talkin'!
Aaah!!!!
Aah!
Lord, please don't let them|find me in this outfit!
Aaahh!!!!
I'm really gonna|miss that little house.
Yeah, I know|what you mean.
When I'm on the road|a few days
I really|miss my place.
You have a house?
Oh, yeah --|I'm a real homebody.
Nothin' I like better than stayin' home|on a quiet night
watchin' a good movie on my DVD.
You have a DVD?
If you're gonna have a first-rate|home entertainment center,
you gotta have a DVD.
Not that my place doesn't need|some fixin' up.
Hell, I was even thinking|about putting in a fountain.
Yeah.
Thank you, God!
# Y. M.C.A. #
# Y. M.C.A. #
# You can get yourself clean, #
# You can have a good meal, #
# You can do|whatever you feel #
# Young man #
# Are you listenin' to me? #
# I said, young man, #
# What do you want to be? #
# I said, young man #
# You can make real|your dreams #
# But you've got to #
# Know this one thing: #
# No man does it|all by himself... ##
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# She can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|And on and on #
# She could always|see through my hand, #
# Never was a fool|for my master plan #
# And though|I grew tired of the games #
# I would wait around|for my luck to change #
# Does she not make my heart|beat a little faster? #
# Doesn't she move me|like a natural disaster? #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# She was always|leading me on #
# And I would hang around|till the break of dawn #
# Though I always|fell for the bait #
# I was Just a pawn|to manipulate #
# Does she not make my heart|beat a little faster? #
# Doesn't she move me|like a natural disaster? #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# She can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# She can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to mention|how the boys line up#
# She can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on. #
# She likes the attention #
# Not to menton|how the boys line up#
# And she can't stop|turnin' it on #
# And on and on|and on and on #
# Turnin' it on #
# Turnin' it on #
# And on and on #
# Turnin' it on #
# Turnin' it on|and on and on... ##
Captioned by|CAPTIONEERING|Your Closed Captioning Resource
O Brother Where Art Thou
O Homem Que Copiava 2003 CD1
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Oasis CD1
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Of Mice and Men
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Old Men In New Cars
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One-armed Boxer
One Fine Day
One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest
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One Piece ep01
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One Take Only 2001
One The
One Two Three 1961
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Ong-Bak (2003)
Onibaba (Devil-woman) 1964
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Onna kyuketsuki
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Open Water
Opera
Operasjon Lovsprett
Operation Pacific 1951
Opposite of Sex The
Orange County
Ordinary People
Orfeu Negro
Original Sin CD1
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Orphans 1997
Oscar and Lucinda 1997
Oseam
Osennij marafon - Autumn Marathon 1979
Oso Rojo Un
Ostrov Sokrovisch (Yevgheny Fridman USSR 1971) CD1
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Others The
Otogiriso 2001
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Out-of-Towners The (1970)
Out Cold
Out To Sea 1997
Out for Justice 1991
Out for a Kill
Out for justice
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Out of Reach Rescue The
Out of Sight Collector Edition
Outbreak
Outland
Outlaw The (Howard Hawks 1943)
Outsiders The (1983)
Over the Rainbow
Ovosodo (Paolo VirzÍ 1997)
Owl and the Pussycat The 1970
Owning Mahowny