Ship of Fools CD1 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
My name is Karl Glocken, and this is a ship of fools.
I'm a fool. And you'll meet more fools as we go along.
This tub is packed with them.
Emancipated ladies. Ballplayers.
Lovers. Dog lovers.
Ladies of joy. Tolerant Jews.
Dwarfs. All kinds.
And who knows, if you look closely enough...
...you may even find yourself onboard.
Good morning, doctor.
Glad to get out of Veracruz.
The whole damn country is ready to explode.
Well, did you get a look at them? Anything interesting?
Anything interesting at all?
There's a dwarf, that high.
A couple of young American painters.
And a Jewish salesman with an infectious sense of humor.
Women, Willie. Women.
Well, a rather attractive middle-aged American woman.
But I'm afraid she's too far from the cradle for you.
Those are the kind that can appreciate what they are getting.
There's a Spanish dancing troupe, interesting, but maybe professional.
They've had those Spanish dance troupes onboard before.
And the usual assortment of our countrywomen.
Professors' wives? Saleswomen putting on airs?
- I'm afraid so. - Governesses?
- Maybe you shouldn't. - That's all right.
You're really getting off at Bremerhaven, huh?
It wasn't a very long career. Three voyages.
I don't know what I'm going to do without you.
You want to know the sentimental, disgusting truth?
I've become fonder of you than of most people in my life.
We just got used to each other, that's all.
Who am I to play chess with? Who am I to talk to?
You've seen the kind of characters we get on this ship.
I get a cold shudder every time I have to go to the captain's table.
I must be in my dotage.
I was looking for something.
I thought I could learn something new by being a ship's doctor.
But I've seen all this before. I've seen all these people before.
Never on a ship, that's all.
- Lunch is served, captain. - Thank you.
- What should I tell them this time? - Tell them anything you like.
Tell them I had to fix the toilets.
1933 will be a good year. I am optimistic.
At any rate, it is starting out most auspiciously.
It is good to be on a German boat with German people, going home.
Say what you will, there is a feeling when German people get together.
I cannot explain it. Gemutliche Kameraderie...
...which exists among no other people. At least I have found it nowhere else.
You know what they say in Mexico?
Mexicans loathe the Americans, hate the Spaniards...
...distrust the English, admire the French and love the Germans.
That is very nice. I am glad they say those things.
But as far as I am concerned, after a few weeks in Mexico...
...you can keep the Mexicans too.
How long has it been since you have been home, Herr Freytag?
- Four months. - You must be glad to be going home too.
Yes, my wife is there.
Why is it every charming man I meet is married?
Fraulein Spockenkieker, you have wounded to me the quick.
Excepting you, Herr Rieber. I'm sorry.
That little dog is so sweet.
He has shared so much of the professor's life and mine...
...I feel sometimes he is like our son.
Do you think it's correct to bring a dog to the table?
Bebe goes with us everywhere.
We have taken him to some of the best restaurants.
Nobody seems to mind.
You know, it's gonna be a wonderful trip, David.
I still feel funny about you picking up the tab.
Look, we weren't gonna talk about that.
Did I ever tell you these have been the best three months of my life?
Did I ever tell you that I care for you so much it's very upsetting?
What? What's the matter?
Twenty-six days in separate beds.
It's probably a very good thing.
We'll get to know each other.
We'll find out whether we have anything going for us besides sex.
I know you got more money from the Swede.
- I gave you what I got. - The barman told me different.
He is a liar.
If you're holding out, I'll rip your lying tongue out.
Rip my guts out. I don't have any more money.
I asked for a table alone.
I'm sorry, madame, there is no room for a table alone.
Please don't bother getting up.
You're an American?
- And my name's Bill Tenny. - Mary Treadwell.
I'll have the pate and the Rheinischer Sauerbraten.
- You, sir? - You got a steak?
- Yes, sir. - Thick?
We will do our best.
I'd better stick to the simple stuff.
I was in Veracruz trying to teach them greasers to play ball.
Man, they tried to poison me.
You know, I had the runs for three weeks.
I'd like to hear more about it.
Herr Rieber, I hear that you publish a national magazine...
...with certain intellectual features.
A garment trade magazine, but modern. Modern.
Good afternoon. I'm Willie Schumann, the ship's doctor.
The captain sends his regrets.
He's unable to come to lunch, because of ship's business.
Doctor, I am Siegfried Rieber.
This is Professor Hutten, Frau Hutten.
- Please. - No, no allow me. Their dog, Bebe.
This charming young lady is Fraulein Spockenkieker.
Herr Freytag, Frau Schmitt, Herr Graf and his nephew Johann.
Don't let me interrupt your conversations.
We were just discussing Herr Rieber's magazine.
I have invited writers from all over the nation...
...to contribute on one topic:
How we can expunge foreign influences...
...and restore Germany to its national greatness.
What foreign influences?
If you need any attendance, I'll be at your disposal.
On my part, doctor, you need have no concern for me.
I do not believe in materia medica.
Have you found something better to replace it?
- Faith. - Faith. I see. Well, well.
A toast. A toast to the German woman, the most beautiful in the world.
- Delicious. - Herr Rieber.
- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.
- Karl Glocken. - Julius Lowenthal.
The herring is very good.
I'll have that and a couple of hard-boiled eggs.
I beg your pardon.
You aren't Jewish, are you?
No. I have my own minority group.
They usually give a Jew a table of his own on a boat like this.
Why do you think they put us together?
It's their way of being friendly.
Perhaps they thought we might hit it off.
You are sure you are not Jewish?
You resemble a brother-in-law of mine in Stuttgart.
That's the way it is.
People are always mistaking me for someone else.
- Spot of wine? - Just a touch.
My God. Where are we going to put them?
We'll have to manage.
Professor, what is it?
What's happening? Who are all those people?
There's nothing to be concerned about.
- I have spoken to one of the officials. - But what is it?
It has to do with the price of sugar on the world market.
- Sugar? - Yeah. You see...
...the sugar planters have been unable to get their price...
...so they burned their crops in the fields rather than let the prices go down.
Something had to be done about the Spanish laborers...
...so the Cuban government hit upon a humanitarian plan of action.
They're sending them home.
- How do you feel? - Bien.
I come to see you later, yes?
Please put her there in the corner.
- Where can they wash? - There are two spigots.
- What?! - It is not my fault.
Stop talking to me in this way.
You don't put 600 people on a deck with only two outlets to wash!
They wouldn't wash if they could. You don't know what pigs they are.
The deck has to be cleaned. Bring the hoses.
- The hoses? - Bring the hoses out!
I cannot turn hoses on them.
It's better to turn the hoses on them than for them to live this way, no?
- Break out the hoses. - Turn on those hoses.
I take it you are not exactly pleased...
...that we are cabin mates on this voyage.
I have already requested a change in the accommodations.
Take it from me, I'm not exactly overwhelmed with the prospect either.
However, pending changes...
...since we are captives of each other's company for 26 days...
...I think it is best if we reach an understanding.
Our cosmetics, for instance...
...I will keep mine on this side of the sink.
And you keep yours on that side. That's right?
Which bunk do you prefer? The lower or the upper?
I was assured the lower.
It is yours.
What are your habits?
l, myself, rise very early in the morning.
I take it that if this evening is an example, you are a late bird.
If you sleep late, I will see that I do not disturb you.
And I hope you, in turn, will try your best not to disturb me.
One other thing.
One other thing.
My wife has informed me in the most sarcastic terms possible...
- You a painter, huh? - Yeah.
- What was you doing in Mexico? - I was a timekeeper in a mine.
- I thought you said you was a painter. - I am a painter, but I was a timekeeper.
- Why? - To support myself as a painter.
- Don't you make any money painting? - No.
Now, wait a minute. Come on. Wait a minute.
You mean to tell me you work at something you can't make a living off...
...so you gotta take a job to make enough money...
...to go on working at work you can't live on?
But that is the heroic life.
That is the way men who trust themselves can afford to live.
- A strange neck of the woods. - What do you mean?
Strange neck of the woods.
Look, I run into all kinds of people, you know, but...
Did I tell you what happened in Veracruz coming through immigration?
I'm standing in line. I see this clerk...
...and I holler, "Hey, Pancho, get over here."
Just being friendly-like...
...like back home you call a taxi driver "Mac" or a Pullman porter "George."
This little Negro... These coast Mexicans got mostly Negro blood in them, I'm told.
Well, he just looks up and stares at me.
The next thing I know, everybody's going ahead of me in this line.
Then I realize that this little Negro resented it.
- I think I'll turn in. - Me too.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
I'm the doctor. You wanted to see me?
I need something to help me sleep.
- Are you ill? - No, no.
I just want something to help me sleep.
- Do you often have trouble sleeping? - Yes. Always.
- Does your doctor help you to sleep? - Yes. Occasionally.
Take off your robe.
- You're sure you're the ship's doctor? - I am the ship's doctor.
Lean forward, please.
- What is it? - Your hands are cold.
When was your period?
- Look, is it necessary to...? - Yes, it is necessary.
All right. Last week.
I'm sure you'd never have any trouble sleeping.
Tell me your secret.
A clear conscience, of course.
That's a neat trick, having a clear conscience...
...when you're a doctor on a ship...
...which has 600 people living on an open deck.
You can't take pills every time you can't sleep...
...or anytime you want to be stimulated or sedated. It has its effect.
What are you laughing at?
My house has been burned. They've taken everything I had.
Now I'm being taken to prison, to an island I know nothing about.
And you're giving me a Sunday school sermon.
- You can put your robe back on now. - Thank you.
You've got a gentle touch.
Maybe you're not as stuffy as you pretend to be.
No. I hope not.
You gonna help me?
Your doctor may have helped you too often.
I'm very helpless at this moment.
You can leave me without any help.
That's your prerogative.
This is for tonight only.
- How old are you? - I'm old enough, as you can see.
Much too old.
- Forty-five? - Not that old.
- How old are you? - Forty-two.
- How old are you? - Forty-one.
- You're joking. - Thank you.
Lie back, please.
You will feel it in a moment.
- Yes. - Talk.
- I beg your pardon? - Talk until the drug takes effect.
This boat smells of cabbage.
Why does every German boat smell of cabbage?
What do you want me to talk about?
Anything you like. Just talk.
What's your name?
- Schumann. - No. Your first name.
- Have you made this trip before? - I make it at least twice a year.
- Are you in some sort of business? - I'm in the jewelry business.
A special part. I sell religious trinkets.
Any religion. You name it, I got it.
- I sell neck chains, bracelets, anklets. - It sounds like good business.
It's a very good business.
People feel better when they wear these things.
I feel good too.
With all this stuff on me, I feel like an African I met in Paris.
He bought from me a crucifix, Buddha and mezuzah. All on one chain.
Do you know what he said?
He said, "It may not help, but it can't hurt."
You seem to get along very well with people.
I like people.
If you look for it, you can find something good in anybody.
It must be difficult sometimes.
For instance, doesn't it bother you that you and that little man...
...are the only two Germans who aren't at the captain's table?
Do you think that bothers me? Besides, I like that little man.
What kind of a salesman do you think I would be...
...if I couldn't deal with a situation like that?
A salesman is supposed to deal with a difficult situation and overcome it.
Listen. It's not a new story.
White men hate black men. Moslems hate Buddhists.
That's the way it goes. There's prejudice everywhere.
It does no good to give it back.
You have got to use your noggin.
You must not mind not winning against me.
After all, I was Ping-Pong champion of the Sportsverein in Frankfurt...
...three times over. - Morning.
- Morning. - Morning.
Herr Freytag picks some bizarre company.
I suspect they are birds of a feather.
Well, shall we play again?
Or perhaps I might suggest another game.
- What game? - Any game. One which you might win.
- What game do you mean? - You have no idea?
I will not let you talk that way to me.
- I'm sorry. - How dare you!
I could not resist.
I couldn't resist either.
What do your parents feel about you going to Europe?
Mother's thrilled. It's something she's always wanted to do.
I think my father gave me up for lost a long time ago.
- What do your parents do? - My father owns a store.
My mother's never been satisfied with it.
She taught me that a woman had to have something outside of her husband...
...otherwise, it was bridge games and one day a week at the hospital.
What about that young man you're traveling with?
David. David's an artist. A wonderful one.
He's a bit caught up with social consciousness right now...
...but he'll get over that.
Is it serious?
I never felt about anybody the way I do about David.
I think that David thinks a woman should follow three paces behind with slippers.
Men usually do.
My husband certainly did. No, thank you. I have a whiskey sour.
- What did your husband do? - He was in the diplomatic corps.
We put up a wonderful front in public.
We were everybody's favorite couple.
In private, it was something else again.
He was jealous of me.
He was so jealous of me that he hit me.
He hit me until I bled at the nose.
I was wondering whether David would beat me.
We quarrel sometimes.
It seems to come out of nothing...
...then it grows into such ugliness and bitterness. It surprises both of us.
I guess a relationship between a man and a woman is very difficult these days.
Put on your beret, Carlos.
Now we can hang in The Prado.
We will hang somewhere, Carlos. The place is uncertain.
- That's enough for today. Thank you. - Anytime.
I just can't tell you how much I admire you.
I'm not even sure about that.
I've never been given a penny for any of this.
Still, I envy you. I envy you your struggle.
I envy you your doubts and flounderings, even.
And Fraulein Brown. I envy you that too.
She's an attractive girl, isn't she?
Are you two going to be married?
I am sorry. I don't mean to pry.
You know, the distasteful curiosity of the nonparticipant.
That's all right. I don't honestly know whether we'll get married.
I told you how uncertain my life is.
I need all the help I can get.
I need someone who can believe in a man who hasn't proved himself yet.
Someone to be there. Be for me.
Couldn't Fraulein Brown be that?
Fraulein Brown is a modern woman.
Their needs are a lot more complicated than our mothers' were.
I'm crazy about Jenny. I really am.
I never felt this way about anybody, the way I feel about her.
I'm afraid to find out how apart we really might be.
I suppose one of the saddest things in the world must be...
...to see two people who feel so much for each other...
...and who feel that they belong together...
...and yet they really don't belong together at all.
What are you doing?
I'm making one of these.
- How many of these do you have? - Many.
Here is a bull.
Do you think anyone in first class would be interested to buy them?
- How long have you been here? - About a half an hour.
No, no, don't get up. Lie back.
Did you put this over me?
I'm glad to see you are on deck.
It was a wonderful drug you gave me, whatever it was.
What was it, incidentally?
You don't expect me to tell you, do you?
You can actually laugh.
Did I startle you very much?
It's good to hear you laugh too.
Did you ever have all the worst possible things that can happen to you happen?
Well, it gives you the most irresponsible feeling.
Nothing more can happen.
Are you all right?
It takes a great deal of courage to tangle with those two.
I have a certain security with them.
They are the only characters on the boat smaller than I am.
Such a charming lady makes a charming morning even more charming.
He certainly is.
The one thing about these children...
...they seem to have a better time than anyone on the boat.
If you expect me to defend those two monsters, you're much mistaken.
My prescription for them is to throw them overboard in a leaky lifeboat.
- You didn't have a childhood at all? - Nothing like theirs. At least, I hope not.
When I was 4, I persuaded my little brother to drink lye water.
- Lye water? - Yeah, I told him it was milk.
So he went to screaming about the house. His mouth was scrubbed out.
I was beaten black-and-blue. I meant him no harm.
I was only curious to know whether it would kill him.
And what about your childhood?
Did nothing gay ever happen to you at all?
I was the perfect dupe.
I believed anything anybody ever told me.
I was full of the highest hopes and the most unbelievable innocence.
It's true, at the age of 12, I did have an experience with the housekeeper...
...that left an indelible impression on me...
...shocked my mother no end and cost the poor girl her job.
Well, there is hope for you after all.
The toreros are having a fiesta tonight.
- I know. - Are you coming?
I wasn't planning to.
I thought we might have a dance if you did.
Of course, you probably don't dance.
- Exactly how dull do you think I am? - You are dull.
That's the most charming thing I've ever seen in my whole life.
I've never seen a man blush before.
I'm not blushing. I must have a temperature.
Anyway, I'll wear my only dress...
...and I'll give you the choice of any dance you like.
And I have a feeling it's gonna be a slow waltz.
I happen to excel in the flamenco.
I was an intellectual.
I was a philosopher and teacher of philosophy.
Until three years ago, I learned I was going to die.
Then my wisdom dropped from me like soiled rags.
I was naked as the day I was born.
I heard a voice.
The most loving voice I've ever heard. The voice of God!
And God said to me...
God speaks to him. He speaks to him personally.
Be quiet, Gregorio! You have to spit on everything.
I asked myself, why was I afraid?
What are my personal sufferings...
...but a divine grace that can be made useful to others?
- The miracle is... - Miracle?
What miracle? Can you make us a miracle?
Can you get us out of this slop and into the upper decks, where we can breathe?
- That is a miracle. - You blasphemous pig!
You are the pig. We are all pigs. Look at the way we live!
Listen! Listen to me!
- God's mercy is in... - God?
There is no God down here!
Do you know what I would do if God were here?
I would curse him to his face.
I would spit in his face!
I would send him down into his own hell!
- Get him out of here! - Yeah!
Wait! Wait! You can't!
The hoses. And give them more than a bath this time.
Yes, sir. The hoses!
- A toast to el capitan. - A toast to el capitan!
With the hope that this beautiful occasion...
...may serve to bring those two great countries...
...Spain and Germany, closer together.
The Spanish heritage, the German empire in all its glory.
Looking for someone?
What do you mean?
Dr. Schumann is a very charming man, isn't he?
He's in steerage.
People say there are only three reasons why a man would be a ship's doctor:
He wants to travel. Or his health is not good.
Or he's escaping from the law.
Which is it with Dr. Schumann?
Dr. Schumann has a quite serious case of heart trouble.
Will you excuse me?
- What is your name? - My name is Johann.
Why were you staring at me, Johann?
- How is your father? - He's my uncle.
He's sleeping in the cabin.
The doctor gave him something to quiet him down.
- Dance with me. - I don't dance.
I will show you.
Do you feel that?
Only Spanish women move like that.
It is called the meneo.
I am not a gypsy, you know.
I am real Spanish, and this is the sign.
- You're doing it on purpose. - Oh, no.
I was born this way.
Do you hear what they say?
My hip bones.
They say, "Meneo...
...all by themselves.
- Will you buy me a bottle of champagne? - I can't.
Just a small bottle.
I don't have anything. Not a pfennig.
- Shall we sit down? - Oh, yes. Of course.
Here we are.
- You're doing your job very well. - My job?
Isn't it the duty of the ship's personnel...
...to see that unescorted women don't get too unhappy?
- I am here because I want to be. - Now you really are doing very well.
Don't you believe me?
Does it matter whether I do or not?
Perhaps you would prefer to remain alone.
Oh, no. No. Please stay and have a drink with me.
It's my birthday.
Is it really your birthday?
Forty-six. Me, 46. I can't believe it, 46.
We Europeans are not as conscious of age as you are.
When one looks as you do and arouses in people...
...the feeling you do, does it really matter?
You're very kind.
There's a time when hearts grow cold and hard.
Women lose their grace and become shrill.
They run to fat or turn to beanpoles.
Take to secret drinking.
They marry men too young for them and get just what they deserve.
It's enough to scare anyone, waiting for fear and loneliness to do their work.
Mrs. Treadwell, you are a very exciting woman, and you know it.
Wouldn't it unnerve you to have an affair with me?
Good evening. Are you enjoying yourselves? You're not dancing.
Captain, do you have a second?
There's a man in steerage. One of your men took his carving knife away.
He needs his knife for his work.
This is the kind of thing he does.
Very nice. Very nice indeed.
The man's an artist. He's not gonna do anybody any harm.
- You are absolutely certain of that? - I'm certain.
Unfortunately, I have to be answerable not only for your safety...
...but for the safety of the ship.
Captain, the man is an artist. He needs his knife for his work.
Enjoy the party.
I feel sorry for him.
You feel sorry for him?
He's a nice man. He doesn't like doing this.
But he's doing it. That's the point, isn't it?
David, you're gonna hate me for this...
...but I'm glad those people in steerage don't have knives.
Afraid they'll come up over the sides and murder us...
...in our nice, clean, white beds?
Maybe they should.
You're so unattractive when you get like this.
So violent and myopic.
It's exactly the kind of thing that infects your work.
What about my work?
I told you no one would dance with me.
Elsa, dance with your father.
- Mama, please. - Dance with your father.
When you go to a dance, you first dance with your escort.
Now, I am your escort, so you will first dance with me.
Then, when you're seen dancing, someone else will invite you.
Besides, you haven't danced with your papa since your last birthday.
Papa, please. I don't want to dance.
I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here.
Don't be ashamed. What's the matter?
Come here. Sit down.
Sit down. Come here.
Tears are good. You know what they say in Turkey?
They say tears wash the eyes and one can see better.
At least I think they say it in Turkey.
Now tell us, what is the reason for this great emotional outburst?
Why isn't a charming young lady like you inside...
...enjoying the music and dancing?
Because no one wants to dance with me. And I'm not charming.
You are telling me you are not charming?
An expert who has been to Istanbul, Hamburg and Paris?
You are telling me?
I am telling you that anybody with eyes in his head...
...can see that you are charming.
Ask anybody with any intelligence. Ask Glocken.
Is this young lady charming or isn't she?
- Charming. - There.
I told you.
And how old are you?
What is adolescence?
Adolescence is a time when people worry about things...
...there's no need to worry about.
I promise you, at 17, you will be even more charming than you are now.
At 2 1, you will be gorgeous.
And at 25, devastating.
And I won't stand any arguments.
Tales from the Vienna Woods.
David, Tales from the Vienna Woods.
Dance with me.
You never like to dance.
I think I've been happiest when I was dancing.
Sometimes I wish...
...that I'd tied a tape measure to my ankle when I danced all my life.
Then I could tell you how many miles I've traveled when I was happiest.
David, dance with me.
I'm gonna enjoy this party in spite of you, David...
...so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna dance with the first man who asks me.
And here he comes.
- May I have this dance? - Delighted.
Good evening. You seem in good spirits.
- I am. I delivered a baby tonight. - How wonderful.
- What was it, a boy or a girl? - Boy.
- What about our celebration? - What do you mean?
- Our dance. - You intimidated me. I really don't dance.
I thought so. Well, this is a waltz, and even you can manage a waltz.
- I doubt it. - I don't.
Just follow me and then follow the music.
How do you feel?
I can't seem to get over this cold.
But I guess I'll be better if I can get another night's sleep.
- You have to help me again. - It's not helping you.
Oh, Willie. Don't lecture me.
You'll lose count.
I'm trying to tell you how serious it is.
Why are you trying to tell me?
Are you trying to tell me I'm an addict?
Okay, so I bought you a bottle of champagne, right? Right.
And I know my way around, right? Right. So when we gonna get together?
We are together now.
Come on, baby. You know what I mean.
You mean you want to sleep with me.
First money. How much money?
- How much? - Forty dollars.
You're out of your mind.
As a publisher, my aim is to direct readers to the vital issues of our society.
As a publisher, my aim is to direct readers to the vital issues of our society.
As a publisher, my aim is to direct readers to the vital issues of our society.
I have lately got a doctor to begin a series of articles advocating...
...the extermination of all the unfit at birth.
That's the way it's with Herr Rieber. He's thinking all the time.
All this will be accomplished painlessly, of course. Painlessly.
Not only defective or useless children, but the old too.
Old persons over 60 or 65, perhaps.
The same measures will be taken with Jews, of course...
...and any illegitimate mixtures of race.
White with colored of any kind, Chinese, Negroes...
...and for any white man convicted of a serious crime...
...well, as for him...
There is only one problem with all this. Who will be left?
That is the difficulty. No one is ever willing to accept a new idea.
Shall we dance?
I like to listen to Herr Rieber.
Every time I listen to him, I feel reassured.
I know no one could ever take him or his party seriously.
How do you feel?
Try a little longer.
I promise to help you when the time comes.
I want to sit down.
It's a nice party. Are you enjoying it?
Can I have a cigarette, please?
May I get you something?
Excuse me, please.
I feel like I'm gonna die.
- What's wrong with you? - You are selfish, boorish...
I don't know why I can't get you out of my system. You're not even really pretty.
Your head is filled with such garbage! I wish I could just empty it out.
Take your hands off me! David, stop it. I'll call for the purser.
- Leave me alone. - Jenny, Jenny...
What? What do you want from me? What?
I wish I knew.
Oh, Jenny. Jenny, what's the matter?
I'm crying. That's what's the matter, I'm crying.
The sweetest face. The sweetest face in the world.
David. David, what's gonna happen to us?
You never were any good at that.
It has a zipper, remember?
What a wonderful sky.
I'm sure you and your wife watch clouds together.
I wish there was someone to watch clouds with me.
You're an extremely romantic woman, Mrs. Treadwell, aren't you?
It's been the handicap of my life.
I can't settle for things. Bernard Shaw said it, didn't he?
"If you can't get what you want...
...you better damn well settle for what you can get."
What did you want, Mrs. Treadwell?
A useful life.
Someone to love me. Forever.
Ridiculous of me, wasn't it?
And what happened?
I chose the wrong man. How many times have you heard that said, I wonder.
He was the most promising. The most handsome.
He had the most glorious facade.
The facade was all there was.
He made me the best-known wife of the best-known skirt-chaser...
...in the community.
I made life hell for him.
It ended in the divorce courts.
We met one day in the corridor outside the courtroom.
He struck me.
I took every penny he had.
So you must forgive me if I'm not exactly receptive to the idea...
...of other people's happiness in marriage. I'm envious.
You and your wife probably have the closest thing to a perfect life one can get.
Nothing is perfect, Mrs. Treadwell.
I just wanted to tell you that I would have bought the champagne.
I would have bought it if I had the money.
SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998
S Diary 2004
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep1
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep2
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep3
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep4
Sahara (with Michael Palin) video diary bonus
Sahara interview with Michael Palin
Salaam Bombay CD1
Salaam Bombay CD2
Salaam Cinema 1995
Salems Lot 2004 CD1
Salems Lot 2004 CD2
Salesman - Albert and David Maysles (1969)
Salo Or The 120 Days Of Sodom
Salton Sea The
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD1
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD2
Samsara 1991 CD1
Samsara 1991 CD2
Samurai - Miyamoto Musashi - 03 - Duel at Ganryu Island
Samurai 2 (1955)
Samurai 3 - Duel At Ganryu Island 1956
Samurai Assassin 1965
Sanbiki No Samurai 1964
Sand Pebbles The CD1
Sand Pebbles The CD2
Sands of Iwo Jima
Santa Claus 2
Sante Trap The
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD1
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD2
Satans Brew 1976
Saturday Night Fever CD1
Saturday Night Fever CD2
Satyajit Ray - Apu Trilogy 2 Aparajito (1957)
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD1
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD2
Savage Innocents The 1959
Savage The (2003)
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD1
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD2
Saving Private Ryan CD1
Saving Private Ryan CD2
Saving Private Ryan CD3
Saving Silverman (R Rated Version)
Say It Isnt So 2001
Scalphunters The (1968)
Scanners 1981 CD1
Scanners 1981 CD2
Scar The (1976) CD1
Scar The (1976) CD2
Scarecrow - (Kakashi) 25fps 2001
Scarlet Empress The (1934)
Scarlet Empress The - Criterion Collection
Scary Movie 2
Scene At The Sea A (Japanese)
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD1
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD1
Scenes from a Marriage CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD3
Scenes from a Marriage CD4
Scenes from a Marriage CD5
Scenes from a Marriage CD6
Schippers van de Kameleon CD1
Schippers van de Kameleon CD2
School Of Flesh The
School of Rock
Scooby-Doo - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts
Scooby-Doo - Thats Snow Ghost
Scooby-Doo - The Headless Horseman of Halloween
Scooby-Doo - Vampires Cats and Scaredy Cats
Scooby-Doo - Which Witch is Which
Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed
Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire
Scooby Doo Project The
Scorpion King The
Scream 3 CD1
Scream 3 CD2
Secret Agents 2004
Secret Agents Into the Heart of the CIA
Secret Ballot 2001
Secret Lives of Dentist The
Secret Window 2004
Secret life of Walter Mitty The (1947)
Secret of My Success 1987 CD1
Secret of My Success 1987 CD2
Secret of the Ooze The
Secret of the Sword
Secrets of Women
Seducing doctor Lewis
See Spot Run
See no Evil Hear no Evil
Seinfeld Chronicles The
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD1
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD2
Serpents Egg The
Setup The (Robert Wise 1949)
Seven (1995) CD1
Seven (1995) CD2
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Seven Days in May (1963)
Seven Samurai (1956)
Seven Year Itch The
Seven Years in Tibet CD1
Seven Years in Tibet CD2
Seventh Seal The - Criterion Collection
Seventh Sign The
Sex Is Comedy
Sex Lies And Videotape CD1
Sex Lies And Videotape CD2
Sex and Lucia (Unrated Spanish Edition)
Sex and Zen
Sex and the City 3x13 - Escape From New York
Sex and the City 3x14 - Sex And Another City
Sex and the City 3x15 - Hot Child in the City
Sex and the City 3x16 - Frenemies
Sex and the City 3x17 - What Goes Around Comes Around
Sex and the City 3x18 - Cock A Doodle Do
Sex is zero
Sex lives of the potato men
Sexo Con Amor 2003
Sexy Beast 2000
Shadow The Universal
Shadow of a Doubt
Shadow of the Vampire
Shadows In Paradise
Shadows and Fog
Shakespeare In Love
Shall We Dance
Shanghai Knights CD1
Shanghai Knights CD2
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD1
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD2
Shaolin Temple CD1
Shaolin Temple CD2
Shaolin Temple The 1979
Shape Of Things The
Shark Tale CD1
Shark Tale CD2
Sharp Guns (2001)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Shelter Island 2003
Sherlock Holmes - Hound of the Baskervilles
Sherlock Holmes - The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes - The Last Vampyre
Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer
Sherlock Holmes - The Pearl Of Death 1944
Sherlock Holmes - The Sign of Four
Sherlock Holmes 1x01 - A Scandal In Bohemia
Sherlock Holmes 1x02 - The Dancing Men
Sherlock Holmes 1x03 - The Naval Treaty
Sherlock Holmes 1x04 - The Solitary Cyclist
Sherlock Holmes 1x05 - The Crooked Man
Sherlock Holmes 1x06 - The Speckled Band
Sherlock Holmes 1x07 - The Blue Carbuncle
Sherlock Holmes 1x08 - The Copper Beeches
Sherlock Holmes 1x09 - The Greek Interpreter
Sherlock Holmes 1x10 - The Norwood Builder
Sherlock Holmes 1x11 - The Resident Patient
Sherlock Holmes 1x12 - The Red Headed League
Sherlock Holmes 1x13 - The Final Problem
Sherlock Holmes And The House Of Fear 1945
Sherlock Holmes And The Spider Woman 1944
Sherlock Holmes And The Voice Of Terror 1942
Sherlock Holmes Faces Death 1943
Sherlock Holmes Returns
Sherlock Holmes The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes The Scarlet Claw 1944
Sherlock Holmes in Washington 1943
Shes All That
Shes So Lovely
Shes out of control
Shes the One
Shield The 2x01 - The Quick Fix
Shield The 2x02 - Dead Soldiers
Shield The 2x03 - Partners
Shield The 2x04 - Carte Blanche
Shijushichinin No Shikaku (1994 aka 47 Ronin)
Shiki-Jitsu (Hideaki Anno 2000)
Shin Zatoichi monogatari (1963)
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD1
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD2
Ship of Fools CD1 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Ship of Fools CD2 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Shiver Of The Vampires The
Shocking Asia CD1
Shocking Asia CD2
Shogun 1980 Part 1
Shogun 1980 Part 2
Shogun 1980 Part 3
Shogun 1980 Part 4
Shogun 1980 Part 5 and 6
Shogun 1980 Part 7 and 8
Shogun 1980 Part 9 and 10
Shop Around The Corner The 1940
Short Circuit 2
Short Cuts CD1
Short Cuts CD2
Short Film About Killing A (1988)
Short Film About Love A (1988)
Short Film About Love A 1988
Shot In The Dark A
Show Me Love
Shredder (Greg Huson 2003)
Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th
Shuang tong (2002)
Sib - The Apple
Siburay Bate Cafe
Sicilian The 1987 CD1
Sicilian The 1987 CD2
Siege The (1998)
Silence of the Lambs The
Silencers The (Phil Karlson 1966)
Silent Trigger 1996
Silver Streak 1976
Simon and Garfunkel - The Concert in Central Park
Simon of the Desert
Simpsons 01x01 - Simpsons Roasting Over An Open Fire
Simpsons 01x02 - Bart The Genius
Simpsons 01x03 - Homers Odyssey
Simpsons 01x04 - Theres No Disgrace Like Home
Simpsons 01x05 - Bart the General
Simpsons 01x06 - Moaning Lisa
Simpsons 01x07 - The Call of the Simpsons
Simpsons 01x08 - The Telltale Head
Simpsons 01x09 - Life on the Fast Lane
Simpsons 01x10 - Homers Night Out
Simpsons 01x11 - The Crepes Of Wrath
Simpsons 01x12 - Krusty Gets Busted
Simpsons 01x13 - Some Enchanted Evening
Simpsons The 05x01 - Homers Barbershop Quartet
Simpsons The 05x02 - Cape Feare
Simpsons The 05x03 - Homer Goes To College
Simpsons The 05x04 - Rosebud
Simpsons The 05x05 - Tree House Of Horror
Simpsons The 05x06 - Marge On The Lam
Simpsons The 05x07 - Barts Inner Child
Simpsons The 05x08 - Boy Scoutz N The Hood
Simpsons The 05x09 - The Last-Temptation Of Homer
Simpsons The 05x10 - $pringfield
Simpsons The 05x11 - Homer The Vigilante
Simpsons The 05x12 - Bart Gets Famous
Simpsons The 05x13 - Homer And Apu
Simpsons The 05x14 - Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy
Simpsons The 05x15 - Deep Space Homer
Simpsons The 05x16 - Homer Loves Flanders
Simpsons The 05x17 - Bart Gets An Elephant
Simpsons The 05x18 - Burns Heir
Simpsons The 05x19 - Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song
Simpsons The 05x20 - The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Simpsons The 05x21 - Lady Bouviers Lover
Simpsons The 05x22 - Secrets Of A Successful Marriage
Sin noticias de Dios
Sinbad - Legend Of The Seven Seas
Since Otar Left 2003
Since You Went Away CD1
Since You Went Away CD2
Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine
Singin in the Rain
Singing Detective The
Singles (2003) CD1
Singles (2003) CD2
Sink The Bismarck
Sinnui yauman II
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD1
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD2
Six Days Seven Nights
Six Degrees of Separation (1993)
Six Feet Under
Six String Samurai
Six Strong Guys (2004)
Sixteen Candles CD1
Sixteen Candles CD2
Sixth Sense The
Skammen (Shame Bergman 1968)
Skazka o tsare Saltane
Skulls The (Collectors Edition)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Slap Shot 2
Sleepers (1996) CD1
Sleepers (1996) CD2
Sleepless in Seattle
Sleepy Hollow 1999
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD1
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD2
Sliding Doors 1992
Sling Blade CD1
Sling Blade CD2
Small Change (FranÇois Truffaut 1976)
Small Time Crooks 2000
Smell of Fear The
Smokey and the Bandit
Snake Of June A (2002)
Snake Pit The
Snatch - Special Edition
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs 1937
So Close 2002
Sobibor 14 Octobre 1943
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD1
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD2
Solaris - Criterion Collection
Solaris 2002 - Behind the Planet
Solaris 2002 Inside
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD1
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD2
Soldiers Story A (Norman Jewison 1984)
Solomon and Sheba CD1
Solomon and Sheba CD2
Sombre 25fps 1998
Some Kind of Monster CD1
Some Kind of Monster CD2
Something The Lord Made CD1
Something The Lord Made CD2
Somethings Gotta Give CD1
Somethings Gotta Give CD2
Son In Law
Song of the South
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD1
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD2
Soul Keeper The (2003)
Sound of Music The
South Park - Bigger Longer and Uncut
South Park 01x01 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
South Park 01x02 - Weight Gain 4000
South Park 01x03 - Volcano
South Park 01x04 - Big Gay Als Big Gay Boatride
South Park 01x05 - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
South Park 01x06 - Death
South Park 01x07 - Pinkeye
South Park 01x08 - Jesus VS Satan
South Park 01x09 - Starvin Marvin
South Park 01x10 - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty
South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand
South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut
Soylent Green 1973
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)