Simpsons 01x04 - Theres No Disgrace Like Home
- Yeah. Oh, yeah?|- Lisa] Yeah. Yeah!
- Yeah? Oh, yeah?|- Yeah.
Hey, what's the problem here?
We were fighting over|which one of us loves you more.
you were?|Aw, well, go ahead.
- you love him more.|- No, you do.
- No, I don't.|- Yes, you do!
you better get this out|of your system right now!
I don't want you embarrassing|me at my boss's picnic.
I'm tying to get the unfortunate noises|out of my system while I can.
I don't want to embarrass myself|at the company picnic.
Are you sure that's enough? The boss|loves your delicious gelatin desserts.
Oh, Homer, Mr. Burns|just said he liked it... once.
That's the only time he's ever spoken|to me without using the word "bonehead."
There it is, kids!
Stately Burns Manor.|Heaven on Earth.
Okay, now look, my boss|is gonna be at this picnic.
I want you to show your father|some love and/or respect.
- Tough choice.|- I'm picking respect.
Good to see you.|Glad you could make it.
Oh, Thank you, Mr. Burns.|I'm so glad you invited us.
- Not me. I had to miss|little league for this.|- Quiet, Tom.
Oh, please, don't fight.|Just go out back and have a good time.
Fire that man, Smithers.
I don't want him or his|unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
He'll be gone|by the tug-of-war, sir.
- Excellent.|-Uh, afternoon, Mr. Burns.
Uh, hello, there, uh--|uh--
- Simpson, Homer.|- Here yougo, sir.
Ah! Oh, yes. Uh, oh, and this|must be your lovely wife, Marge.
Oh, and look at little,|uh, Lisa.
Why, she's growing|like a weed.
-And this must be, uh, Brat.|- Bart.
Don't correct the man, Brat. Oh, boss,|look what we brought-- gelatin desserts.
Oh, for the love of Peter.|That's all anybody brought.
Some damn fool went around|telling everyone I love that slimy goop.
Well, toss it in the pile|over there.
And... make yourselves at home.
Hear that, Dad? You can lie around|in your underwear and scratch yourself.
- Now, you listen to me--|- Trouble, Simpson?
No. just congratulating the|son on a fine joke about his old man.
Now remember,|as far as anyone knows,
we're a nice,|normal family.
Hey, Bart, last one in|the fountain's a rotten egg!
D-oh! Be normal.|Be normal!
Mmm!|What an adorable little girl.
Why don't we dump them in the nursey|and get a glass of punch?
Oh, I'm not much|of a drinker.
Hey, isn't that your boy there|torturing the swans?
Maybe I will take you up|on that punch.
Gee, do you think we should|leave the kids unsupervised?
- Bart! Lisa!
- Where are you kids? D-oh!|- Whoops.
- Gotya!|- Careful. Blow a gasket, lose your job.
The father/son-sack race...
will begin in five minutes|on the north lawn.
Participation is mandatoy.|Repeat, mandatoy. That is all.
- you remember the rules?|- Shut my mouth, and let your boss win.
I don't know who to love more:|my son, Joshua, who's captain|of the footballteam,:
or my daughter, Amber,|who got the lead in the school play.
Usually, I use their grades|as a tiebreaker,
but they both got|straight A's this term.
- What's a mother to do?|- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I sense greatness in my family.|- Your family?
Well, it's a greatness|that others can't see, but it's there.
And if it's not true greatness we have,|we're at least average.
I don't want to alarm anyone,
but I think there's|a little "al-key-hol" in this punch.
- Mr. Burns, are you ready?|- Yes.
- Are youset?|- Yes.
- Go, Mr. Burns.
Man, this is pathetic.|I'm goin' for it!
Bart, no!|No! No! No!
Oh, no, wait.|Oh, no. Bart, don't.
Close one this year.
- Here we sit enjoying the shade|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine
- Drink the drink that I have made|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine
He's here at last my one and only|Good-bye friends
-And don't be lonely|-Hey, brother, pour on the wine
- Marge, I need you!|- Hey, Homie, did you try the punch?
Snap out of it, Marge.
You've gotta come with me.|The boss is going to make a toast.
Well, I'm not much of a drinker.
Why, you picked a perfect time to start.
Musicians, cease that infernal tootling.
"Thank you all..."|uh,"for coming."
- Marge, knock it off.|- Well, I'm sory.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.|- Marge!
" But now it's time|to say good-bye.
Please get off my property|until next year."
I suggest you don't dawdle. The hounds|will be released in ten minutes.
- Did you have a good time, son?|- Yeah, thanks, Pop.
Aw, that's the kind of family unity|I like to see. Smithers.
- Yes, sir?|- Get that man's name.
I predict big things for him|down at the power plant.
Quick, Bart,|give me a kiss.
Kiss you?|But, Dad, I'm your kid.
Bart, please?|Five bucks for a kiss.
I have never seen such|an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
Fabulous observation, sir.|Just fabulous.
- Boy, I'm glad that's over.
- Now we can go home and act normal.|- What do you mean?
Aw, come on.|That cornball routine?
"I love you, Daddy."|Give me a break.
- I pity you.|- Why?
- After you.|- Thank you so much.
- Me first! No, me. Me. Me.|- No, me. No, me. Me. Me.
Honey, you look so tired.|Would you like me to drive?
Oh, Homie, I think|I'm going to be sick.
There was a farmer|who had a dog
And Bingo was his name|Oh
B-i-n-g-o and Bingo|was his name, oh
Homie, get in the car.
- This is where you belong.|- Yeah, Homer.
Room for one more.
One of us. One of us.|One of us. One of us.
The father of the family|has worked all day...
to find this food|for his children.
Unable to fend for themselves,|the babybaldeaglets...
are dependent on their mother|regurgitating food which she has found.
- Hey!|- Look, eveybody.
Yesterday was|a real eye-opener.
We've got to do better|as a family.
Tonight, we're not going to shovel food|in our mouths while we stare at the TV.
We're going to eat at the|dining room table like a normal family.
- Happy, Dad?|- Yes.
No. We're going|to say grace first.
Okay. Rub-a-dub-dub,|thanks for the grub.
No!|Ignore the boy, Lord.
Can the chatter, and bow your heads.
Dear Lord, Thank you|for this microwave bounty,
even though|we don't deserve it.
I mean, our kids are|uncontrollable hellions.
Pardon my French,|but the Y act like savages.
Did you see them|at the picnic?
Of course you did. You're everywhere.|You're "omnivorous."
O Lord, why did you|smite me with this family?
- Amen!|- Let's eat.
No, I'm not done yet!
But, Homer, how long are we|supposed to sit here...
and listen to you bad-mouth us|to the Man Upstairs?
I'm sory, Marge, but sometimes|I think we're the worst family in town.
Maybe we should move|to a larger community.
- D-oh!|- Don't have a cow, Dad.
The sad truth is,|all families are like us.
you think so, huh? Well, there's|only one way to find out. Follow me.
Look at that, kids.|No fighting. No yelling.
- No belching.|- The dad has his shirt on.
- These people are obviously freaks.|- Oh, you think so?
Well, let's see|what's behind door number two.
- What are they doing?|- They're having a conversation.
The Y actually enjoy|talking to each other.
I wish I could hear|what they're saying.
Papa, I believe I heard|some rustling in the bushes.
Hmm. I did too.|Better get the gun.
Where's he going?
Probably to get the old man|his pipe and slippers.
Whoa, look at this place.|What a dump!
It's worse than you think.
I just trampled|this poor sap's flower bed.
- Homer, this is our house.|- Aaah!
- Are you coming in, Homer?|- No, no.
I wanna be alone with my thought.
Fans are getting a bit anxious here.|- Another beer, Moe.
What's-a matter, Homer?|Bloodiest fight of the year.
You're sitting there like|a thirsty bump on a log.
- Eddie.|- Evening, Moe.
- Want some pretzels?|- No, thanks. We're on duty.
- A couple beers would be nice, though.|- Two bucks, boys.
Good one, Moe. We're looking for|a family of Peeping Toms...
who's been terrorizing|the neighborhood.
Quiet, boy.|Let the nice people enjoy their beers.
Ah, don't worry.|This dog has the scent.
- What's gotten into Bobo?|- I got some wieners in my pocket.
That figures.|Come on, you stupid dog.
you know, Moe, my mom once said|something that really stuck with me.
She said," Homer,|you're a big disappointment."
And God bless her soul,|she was really on to something.
Don't blame yourself, Homer.|you got dealt a bad hand.
You got crummy little kids|that nobody can control.
you can't talk that way about my kids!|Or at least two of them.
- Why, you got two I haven't met?|- Why, you--
- Here's five you haven't met.|- A tremendous right. That's gotta hurt.
- This fight is over!
All-StarBoxing|is brought to you by...
Dr. Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
- Honey, aren't you going to work today?|- Oh, I don't think so.
Honey, you have a problem, and|it won't get better till you admit it.
I admit this:|you better shut your big yap.
- Oh, you shut up. No, you shut up!|- No, you shut up!
- Shut up!|- Why don't you both shut up?
Hi, friends.|I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe.
Does this scene look familiar?|Ifso, I can help.
No gimmicks. No pills.|No faddiets.
Just family bliss, or double|your money back. So call today.
Dr. Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
Why don't you call right now?
When will I learn?
The answer to life's problems|aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
They're on TV!
All right,|time for a family meeting.
Why can't we have a meeting|when you're watching TV?
Now look, you know and I know this|family needs help, professional help.
So I've made us an appointment|with Dr. Marvin Monroe.
The fat guy on TV?
You're sending us to a doctor|who advertises on pro wrestling?
Boxing, Lisa, boxing.|There's a world of difference.
Gee, Homer, are you sure|this is the right thing to do?
Honey, I've given|this matter a lot of study,
and of all the commercials I saw,|his was the best.
- All it costs is $250.|- We don't have that kind of money.
Well, then, we're just|going to have to dig deep.
- Marge, go get the kids' college fund.|- Hey!
- Oh, Homer.|- Oh, come on, Marge.
Why scrimp now on the off chance that|they'll actually get in some place?
Eighty-eight dollars|and fifty cents.
That's it? That's the college fund|we've been saving for all these years?
I guess I'd have needed|a partial scholarship.
We're not licked yet.
To save this family, we're going to|have to make the supreme sacrifice.
No, Dad.|Please don't pawn the TV.
Oh, come on, Dad,|anything but that.
Homer, couldn't we pawn|my engagement ring instead?
Now, I appreciate that, honey,|but we need $150 here!
Afternoon, Simpson.|What can I do for ya?
Would you pay $150|for this lovely Motorola?
- Is it cable ready?|- Ready as she'll ever be.
Mister, you got yourself a deal.
All our money,|the college funds, the TV.
Homer, you're driving a stake through|the hearts of those who love you.
- Hey, no pain, no gain.|- Will you be paying by cash or check?
Cash, of course.|I've got $250 right here with me.
I'm holding it right now.|Here it is. Look.
Check it out.|250 big ones.
If you really want|to impress her,
show her the big, empty space|where our TV used to be.
- Bart!|- Come on, family.
Let's go celebrate our newfound|ability to express love.
I'm taking you out for|frosty chocolatemilkshakes.
There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar.
Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe.|No doubt you recognize me from TV.
- We would ifwe had one.|- Lisa!
No, no, Homer,|don't stifle the youngster.
Your family must feel free|to express itself.
That's what these pads|and jumbo markers are for.
I want you to draw for me|your fears, your anxieties,
the roots of your|unhappiness.
Take a deep,|cleansing breath.
- Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
No surprises here.
- Homer, what have you got for us?
- Homer?|- Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
If you had been|paying attention,
perhaps you would have noticed|that your family sees you...
as a rather stern authority figure,|an ogre, if you will.
- Now, Doctor, that's not true.|- Ogre is such a strong word.
Right on, Doc!|Another successful diagnosis.
- That does it!|- Whoa!
Okay, you wanna kill each|other. That's good. That's healthy.
There's nothing necessarily wrong|with hostile conflict.
All I ask is that you use|my patented aggression therapy mallets.
- Good idea.|- All right.|- I don't know.
Okay. Let's take another|deep, cleansing breath.
These mallet things are padded|with foam rubber. What's the point?
They'd work much better|without the padding, Doc.
- No, no. That's not true.
- Ah! Give me that.|- See?
Yes, well, that concludes|this portion of our treatment.
- Are we cured yet?|- Don't be ridiculous.
you will be, but it's going to require|somewhat more unorthodox methods.
- Unortho-what?|- Don't worry.
I'll have plenty of time to explain|while I warm up the...
Now, don't touch any of|those buttons in front of you...
for a very important reason, i.e., you|are wired into the rest of your family.
you have the ability to shock them,|and they have the ability to shock--
- Why, you--|- No, Homer, not yet.
This is what is known|as aversion therapy.
When someone hurts you emotionally,|you will hurt them physically.
And gradually you will learn|not to hurt each other at all.
And won't that be|wonderful, Homer?
- Oh, yes, Doctor.
- Whoa!|- Aaah!
-How could you shock your little sister?|-My finger slipped.
- So did mine.|- Aaaah!
- Bart, Lisa, stop that.
No, no. Now, wait a minute.
Wait! Wait!|Folks, if I could--
This is not the way|to get healthy!
No! You don't understand, Simpsons!
- People, please!
Someone's really|gobbling up the juice, sir.
Perhaps this energy conservation fad|is as dead as the dodo.
- No! No! Simpsons!
- Son of a--|-Stop!
- Dr. Monroe, your other patients|have fled the building.|- Stop!
You're damaging|the equipment.
-Nice hair, Mom.|-I thought we were making real progress.
No, I'm sorry, you're not!|You've just got to go.
Wait a minute, Doc,|your TV commercial said,
family bliss|or double our money back.
Oh, but that was just--
All right.|Get the money.
Just go, and never tell|anyone youwere here!
Wow, 500 smackers.
Homer, how wonderful.|Our first pleasant surprise.
It's not the money, as much as|the feeling that we earned it.
you did it, Dad.
Shouldn't we be heading down|to the pawn shop to get our TV back?
That piece of junk?|Forget it.
We're gonna get a new TV.
Twenty-one inch screen,|realistic flesh tones...
and a little cart so we can wheel it|into the dining room on holidays.
- Yea!|- Oh, Homer, we love you.
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South Park 01x10 - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty
South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand
South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut
Soylent Green 1973
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirited Away CD2
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)