Simpsons 01x06 - Moaning Lisa
Lisa! Lisa, are you|still in there?
What's the problem? Did you fall in?|Lisa!
- Sorry, Dad. Women and children first.|- What the--
- Where the hell are my keys?
Who stole my keys?|Come on. I'm late for work.
Oh, Homer, you'd lose your head if it|weren't securely fastened to your neck.
- Did you check the den?|- The den! Great idea.
Warm. No, cold.
- Colder. Ice cold.|- Huh?
-Do you know where my keys are?|-No. I'm talkin' about your breakfast.
- Did you try the rumpus room?
Rumpus room?|Great idea.
- Oh, Dad.|- Huh?
- Doh!|- Oh, Homer.
- Here.|- I'm sorry, everybody,
but I've only got two cupcakes|for the three of you.
Well, Mom, one of us has scarfed|down more than enough cupcakes|over the past three decades to--
- Bart!|-just take mine.
A simple cupcake|will bring me no pleasure.
- Oh, yeah!|- All right!
All right, class.|From the top.
One, and two,|and three, and--
My county, 'tis of thee
La da da da da dee
Lisa, there's no room for crazy bebop|in " My County 'Tis of thee."
- But Mr. Largo, that's|what my county's all about.|- What?
I'm wailing out for the homeless|family living out of itís car.
The Iowa farmer whose land has been|taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats.
The West Virginia coal miner,|coughing up--
That's all fine and good, but none|ofthose unpleasant people...
are going to be|at the recital next week.
Now, class.|From the top.
- Five, six, seven.
Every day at noon a bell rings, and|they herd us in here for feeding time.
And we sit around like cattle, chewing|our cuds, dreading the inevitable--
Come on, Lis! What are you|waiting for? Chuck that spaghetti.
I choose not to participate.
Lisa, we are playing|dodge ball here.
The object of the game is|to avoid the ball by weaving|or ducking out of itís path.
In other words,|to dodge the ball.
Listen, missy, just tell me|why you weren't getting|out of the way of those balls.
I'm too sad.
Too sad to play dodge ball?
That's ridiculous.|Now, let's see some enthusiasm.
Come on, come on.|Let's go.
In the red trunks,|with a record of 48 wins and no losses,
the undisputed champ|of this house,
Battling Bart Simpson!
- Whoopee, whoo!
And in the lavender trunks,
with a record of zero wins|and 48 defeats--
Oh, correction.|Humiliating defeats,
-all of them by knockout--|- Must you do this every time?
Homer "The Human Punching Bag"|Simpson!
Doh! Stupid joystick!
Three seconds, folks.|A new record.
Hey, no. I'm not down.|I'm-- Getup, you!
Get off the mat.|Okay. Here we go.
Yo, chump, you back again?
Get outta the way!|How come he's not ducking?
Wait a minute. I can't get my--|Get out of the way, stupid!
- Homer?|- Not now, Marge!
- Get out of the corner!|- They sent a note from school.
What did you do this time, you little|hoodlum? Oops, get outta the way!
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it.|There's no way they can prove anything.
No, Bart.|This note isn't about you.
It isn't?|There must be some mistake.
Hey, you're right.|This note's about Lisa.
She doesn't look sad.|I don't see any tears in her eyes.
It's not that kind of sad.
I'm sory, Dad, but you|wouldn't understand.
Oh, sure, I would, princess.|I have feelings too.
you know, like,|" My stomach hurts."
Or "I'm going crazy!"
Why don't you climb up on Daddy's knee|and tell him all about it.
I'm just wondering|what's the point?
Would it make any difference|at all if I never existed?
How can we sleep at night when there's|so much suffering in the world?
Well, I-- Uh--
Come on, Lisa.|Ride the Homer horsey!
Lisa, honey, why don't we go upstairs|and I'll draw you a nice hot bath.
That helps me|when I feel sad.
- Sorry, Dad. I know you mean well.|- Thanks for knowing I mean well.
Gee, Homer. Looks like you got yourself|a real problem on your hands.
Yeah, right.|Uh, Bart, vacuum this floor.
Hey, man.|I didn't do anything wrong!
In times of trouble you've|got to go with what you know.|Now, hop to it, boy!
Thinks he's some big|stupid Homer. Oh, man.
I'll show him.|He thinks he's so big.
- Enjoy your bath?|- No, not really.
Oh, too bad.|Well, I certainly had fun vacuuming.
Maybe now I'll get the pleasure|of scrubbing your tub.
So typical of Bart.|All he thinks about is himself.
Hey, don't say stuff like that|about me to Maggie.
She's on my side anyway.
- Is not. Is not.|- Is too. Is too.
- Is not.|- Is too! Watch. I'll prove it.
Maggie. Come to the one|you love best.
No, Maggie. Come here, girl.|Come tome.
Come on, Maggie!|The choice is obvious.
No, Maggie. Don't go for the glitter.|Look for substance.
All right, Maggie,|just go to Bart.
Exactly. Come to the one|you love best.
Oh, no! Come on!|Don't let the--
Aaah! Oh, no,|not again.
Get over to the--|Aaah!
Gee, Dad, you're|really bad at this.
I am not.|It's just that I...
- couldn't concentrate|with that infernal racket.
Lisa, what did I tell you about playing|that sax-a-ma-thing in the house?
I was just playing the blues, Dad.
Lisa, I'm sorry.|I didn't mean to yell.
Go ahead. Play your blues|if it'll make you happy.
No. That's okay, Dad.|I'll just work on my fingering.
Unless my fingers clacking|on the keys is too loud for you.
- Let's hear it.
You just clack|as loud as you want, Lis.
I've gotta find that sound.
That was beautiful.|What's it called?
Oh, it's a little tune|that I call...
the "I Never Had|an Italian Suit Blues."
Wait, Margie. Before you go out|that door, let's put our happy face on,
because people know how good a mommy|you have by the size of your smile.
- Put up your dukes, Homer.
Bart, go easy on me.|I'm your dad.
I am going easy on you,|but you're so old and slow...
and weak and pathetic.
No! Bart, no!
- Homer, wake up, wake up.|- Huh? Oh, man.
Here, let me wipe off|the drool.
you know, Marge, getting old|is a terrible thing.
I think the saddest day of my|life was when I realized I could|beat my dad at most things.
And Bart experienced|that at the age of four.
So, why are you|still awake?
I'm still tying to figure out|what's bothering Lisa.
I don't know. Bart's such a handful,|and Maggie needs attention.
But all the while, our little|Lisa is becoming a young woman.
Oh, so that's it.|This is some kind of underwear thing.
Mmm. Good night, Homer.
Now, now low b-flat.
Okay, Lisa.|"Altissimo" register.
Very nice. Very nice.|I once ruptured myself doin' that.
- Thanks, Mr. Murphy.|- My friends call me Bleedin' Gums.
Eww. How'd you get|a name like that?
Well, let me put it this way.|you ever been to the dentist?
- Yeah.|- Not me. I suppose I should go to one,
but I got enough pain|in my life as it is.
I have problems too.
Well, I can't help you, kid. I'm just a|terrific horn player with tons of soul.
- But I can jam with you.|- Okay.
Oh, I'm so lonely
Since my baby left me
I got no money
And nothing is free
Oh, I been so lonely
Since the day I was born
All I got is this rusty
This rusty old horn
I got a bratty brother
He bugs me every day
And this morning|my own mother
She gave|my last cupcake away
My dad acts|like he belongs
He belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
In grade number two
you know, you play pretty well|for someone with no real problems.
Yeah, but I don't|feel any better.
The blues|isn't about feelin' better.
It's about makin' other people|feel worse and makin'|a few bucks while you're at it.
Which reminds me, if you're|ever in the neighborhood,
I'm playing in a little club|called the jazz Hole.
Lisa! Get away from|that jazzman!
- But Mom! Can't I stay|a little longer?|- Come on.
We were worried about you. Nothing|personal. I just fear the unfamiliar.
Today's fire|raced through downtown Springfield,
gutting Symphony Hall, the Springfield|Museum of Natural History,
the Springfield Arts Center|and Barney's Bowl-a-rama.
- Officials said the--
Oh, no! Marge!
- Marge, are you all right?|- No! I'm very upset.
Then you've heard. Oh, God.|What are we gonna do?
- The lanes were kinda warped,|but, oh, the food.|- I'm upset about Lisa.
- Oh, me too.|- Me three. What are we talking about?
- Bart!|- Do you think you're being nice|enough to your sister, Bart?
- Oh, yeah, easy.|- you do love her, don't you?
- Oh, Mom.|- Well, you do. Don't you?
Don't make me say it.|I know the answer. You know the answer.
He knows the answer.|Let's just drop it. Okay?
Okay, Bart.|you don't have to say it,
but you do have to have|a loving attitude.
Be nice to your sister.
-Okey-dokey.|-Go on, Bart. No time like the present.
- Hi, man.|- I don't want your pity.
- Aw, come on. I'll cheer you up.|- How?
- Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
- Is jacques there?|- Who?
-jacques. Last name Strap.|- Uh, hold on.
Uh, jacques Strap?
Hey, guys, I'm lookin'|for a jacques Strap.
Aw, wait a minute.|Jacques Strap?
It's you, isn't it,|you cowardly little runt!
When I get a hold of you, I am gonna gut|you like a fish and drink your blood.
- Where's your sense of humor, man?
Lisa, you'll be late|for band practice. Let's go.
Uh, give me some quarters.|I'm doing my laundry.
- Where's the video boxing?|- It's over there in the corner.
If I were you I really would use|those quarters for laundry.
- Hey, that kid's pretty good.|- Good? Are you kidding?
Over 2.000 fights, and he's still on|his original quarter.
Okay, who's next?
- Me, me, me, me, me!|- No, me!
- Listen, can you teach me|to fight like you do?|- I don't think so.
- Oh, come on.|- I'll tell you what. I'll do|it if you bark like a dog.
you got yourself a deal, Fido.
- Well, looks like you're|all out of quarters, old man.|- That's okay.
With the tips you've given me,|I'm gonna pound the tar out of...
- a certain little smarty-pants tonight.
Howie! I thought I told you|to stop wasting your money...
- in this stupid place!|- Sorry, Mom.
And you! A man of your age.|you should be ashamed of yourself.
Excuse me. I think|I hear my wife calling.
Now, Lisa, listen to me.|This is important.
- I want you to smile today.|- But I don't feel like smiling.
Well, it doesn't matter how|you feel inside, you know.
It's what shows up|on the surface that counts.
That's what my mother|taught me. Take all your|bad feelings and push them down.
All the way down, past your knees,|until you're almost walking on them.
And then you'll fit in, and|you'll be invited to parties,
and boys will like you,|and happiness will follow.
Oh, come on.|you can do better than that.
Oh, that's my girl.
I feel more popular already.
- Hey, uh, nice smile.|- Thanks.
Hey, what are you talkin' to her for?|She's just gonna say somethin' weird.
- Not me.|- you know, I used to think|you were some brainiac,
but I guess you're okay.
- Uh-huh.|- Hey, why don't you come over|to my house after practice?
- you could do my homework.|- Okay.
Five minutes, people. Now, Miss Simpson,|I hope we won't have a repeat...
of yesterday's out burst|of unbridled creativity.
- No, sir.
- Wow, Mom!|- Hmm. So that's where she gets it.
Lisa, I apologize to you.|I was wrong.
I take it all back. Always be yourself.|you wanna be sad, honey, be sad.
We'll ride it out with you.|And when you get finished feeling sad,
we'll still be there.
From now on, let me do|the smiling for both of us.
I said you could stop|smiling, Lisa.
I feel like smiling.
I'm gonna knock you out|one more time, and that's it.|This is getting boring, man.
Just ty not to kill me|too hard, son.
- Whoa!|- Kid, tonight's not your night.
All right, man, you asked|for it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Aha! Blocked it.|You missed me.
- Oh!|- I got you. Ooh.
- Don't try that. I got you blocked.
And the crowd is on its feet as|Hurricane Homer moves in for the kill!
Boys, I'd like|your attention, please.
Quiet, Marge! This is my|big moment! Bart "The Bloody|Pulp" Simpson is on the ropes.
He is hoping I'll put him|out of his misery!
Well, you're in luck, Bart!|Here comes my right!
My game, my game!|I could have beat the boy.
Marge, how could you?|I was so close.
I'm sorry, but this is more important|than that silly, loud game.
You're right, Mom. I'd just like to use|this occasion to announce my retirement,
- undefeated, from the world|of video boxing.
Oh, calm down, Homer.|Lisa has an idea that she thinks...
- would be fun for the whole family.
The next song was written|by a friend of mine,
one of the great|little ladies of jazz.
I got this bratty brother
He bugs me every day
And this mornin'|my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My dad acts like|he belongs, y'all
-He belongs in the zoo|- What?
I'm the saddest kid
In grade number two
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Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)