Simpsons 01x09 - Life on the Fast Lane
This is gonna be the best|birthday breakfast Mom ever had.
Hey, Lis.|You think that's enough for her?
- Maybe one more.
- I hope she likes|the presents we got her.|- She'll like mine.
Who wouldn't like a bottle|of real French perfume|all the way from gay Paree?
Four bucks, plus tax.
I think she's going to like|my handmade birthday card better.
Oh, big deal. Dry macaroni,|spray paint and glue. Whoopie.
Dibs. First dibs.|I get to lick the beaters.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Litha, my "ongue"|is "uck" in the "eaters." My "ongue"!
- Here's your birthday breakfast.|- Oh!
- Isn't this nice?
- My birthday? It's my birthday?|- No!
What did I get?|I love birthdays.
- No, Homer, it's mine.|- You don't even know|your own wife's birthday?
Well, of course I know.|Sure.
You really thought|I forgot, didn't you?
- Oh, right. What did you get her, Dad?|- What did you get?
Uh, well,|a vey thoughtful gift.
But it's a surprise.
You know, it's such|a beautiful morning,
I think I'll take a little stroll|around the block.
- I think he forgot, Mom.|- Mm-hmm.
Oh, no. Come on.|Come on. Open up!
Good morning, consumers.
The Springfield Mall is now open|for your spending needs.
Hmm? Uh... no.
Hmm? Nah, too corny.
Patty, he's out|buying me something right now.
Oh, Marge.|He never gets anything you want.|He always gets something for himself.
- The tackle box.|- Remember when he got you|the tackle box?
- And Connie Chung.|- And when he surprised you|with the Connie Chung calendar?
I'm sure he doesn't|do it deliberately.
Well, Homer and I had a lovely|dining experience at Chez Pierre.
Or the Rusty Barnacle|is nice.
No, no, no.
We wanna take you someplace fun--|The Singing Sirloin.
The place where the waiters sing.
- Homer?|- Be right there.
Homer, we're having dinner tonight|at The Singing Sirloin.
That sounds delightful.|Just you and me and the balladeers.
- And the kids.|- Fair enough.
- And my sisters.|- Doh!
How we danced|on the night we were wed
Havin' my baby
What a lovely way to say|how much you love me
Nearer my God to thee
- Nearer to thee
Whoa! Hmm.|Thank you, Bart.
- You're welcome, Mom.|- 34 years old.
Time enough to start over|with a new man.
- Someone who eats|with his mouth shut.|- What's that, Patty?
Nothing.|Finish your steak.
- Look at him wolfdown|that gristle.|- Mm-hmm.
It's an accident waiting to happen.
Do you know|the Heimlich Maneuver?
- No.|- Good.
I think she likes|my present better.
- Does not. Does not. Does not.|- Does too. Does too.
Then how come she's not|putting on any of your perfume?
How come you're not putting on|any of my perfume?
Well, I'm saving it|for a special occasion.
What the hell are you talking about?|There's gallons of it!
- Bart!|- But this occasion|is already so special.
If we made it|any more special,
we might end up|making it less special.
- Gotcha. Told ya she liked mine better.|- Oh, brother!
Hold on.|Hold on now.
Your mother hasn't opened|my present yet.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy 34th birthday,|Mrs. Homer Simpson
Happy birthday to you
Oh. Don't worry.|This frosting will come right off.
Beauty, isn't she?
It's hard for me to judge|since I've never bowled in my life!
Well, if you don't want it,|I know someone who does.
You always say we should talk.
I'm talking right now,|as a matter of fact.
But I'm going to stop|in a second,
so please, say something back,|Marge, please?
I'm gonna stop talking...|now.
You bought that bowling ball|for you, not for me.
- What? No.|- The holes were drilled|for your fingers.
I wanted to surprise you.
I couldn't very well chop your hand off|and bring it to the store.
You never intended for me|to use that ball.
If that's how you feel,|I'll take it back.
You can't take it back.|You had your name engraved on it!
- So you'd know it was from me!|- Homer,
I'm keeping the ball...|for myself!
What? But you don't|know how to bowl. Oops.
I'm keeping it,|and I'm going to use it.
Thank you|for the present, Homer.
Excuse me.|Where do I throw this?
- Over there.|- Thank you.
- You're gonna need a lane.|- No, thanks.
- I'm here out of spite.|- Can't bowl without a lane.
- Well, all right.|- Here you go. You keep score on this.
- What size shoes do you wear?|- Never you mind.
You can't wear|street shoes on the lanes.
You gotta wear bowling shoes.|What size, please?
- 13 double "A."|- 13 double "A "?
This is the closest I've got.
A nine and a fifteen.
A little warm and moist.
So, 120 pins later,|I am the better man.
I don't see what he's doing|that's so different from what I'm doing.
I'm--|I'm awfully sorry.
Entirely my fault.
It is nice|to meet you,
Oh, no, no.|Homer's my... ball's name.
- I'm Marge.
Your fingers are so slender,|so feminine.
They're far too tapered|for the ball you're using.
You need something lighter.|More delicate.
Here.|Use my ball.
No. No, thank you,|Mr., um, Brunswick.
- Call me Jacques.|-Jacques.
- Marge.|- I'll just use my ball.
As you wish.
Many people have senseless|attachments to heavy, clumsy things,
such as this Homer|of yours.
- Hmm.|- May I ask you a bold question?
- Sure.|- You've never bowled before.
- Never. No.|- No.
Then I will teach you.
- I don't wanna trouble you.|- Not at all. I am a professional.
Roll the ball for me, Marge.|Let me see your form.
All right. But I'm not vey good.
I can hit that one pin all right,|but the rest of them don't even wobble.
I can help you, Marge.|Pick up the ball.
Pick up Homer.|Pick him up.
- Now throw. Throw, damn you.|- But--
You're a very good teacher.
Yes, I am a very good teacher,|and I can teach you everything.
I can tell you what the little arrows|on the wood floor mean,
which frame|is the beer frame.
I bet you don't know how to make|a five-seven-ten split.
- Do you, Marge?|- No.
But first of all, you yell,|"The eight-pin is a cop."
- Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud.
Laugh out loud.|You'll lose weight.
- Oh, that's very funny.|- Feels good.
I didn't realize there was|so much to this game.
What do you charge|for lessons?
- Twenty-five dollars.|- Twenty-five dollars!
It's a $40 value.
Well, all right.|When do we start?
We have already begun.
Now this is living,|hey, kids?
Hot pizza--|the food of kings.
Don't be scared, Dad.|It's not so hard takin' care of us.
Lisa, I'm not scared.
I think it's a great chance|to spend some time with you kids.
Your mother always gets to be alone|with you, and now it's my turn.
Does the time|always drag like this?
First, you must get|to know your lane.
Feel the slickness.|Feel the satiny finish.
Caress it.|Experience it.
- Quite smooth, isn't it, Marge?|- Ooh, very smooth.
- Smooth? Yes?|- Yes, vey. Yes.
- Yes. Smooth? Yes.|- Smooth. Yes.
You could eat off of it.|You hungry?
- Yes.|- Four onion rings!
- My compliments to the delivey boy.|- We've eaten and eaten well.
What else do we have to do?|Let's check the list your mom left us.
Eat. Mm-hmm.|Oh, clean up.
Don't worry, everybody. This will be|a breeze if we all pitch in.
All right!|We're clean!
Now we'll...|put Maggie to bed.
Lullaby|and good night
Go to bed|and sleep tight
Close your eyes|Start to yawn
Pleasant dreams|until the dawn
- Homer. Homer?|- Huh?
Oh, how was bowling?
It's a very|challenging hobby.
Sport, dear.|It's a sport, you silly thing.
Mm-hmm. Butl think I'll do|much better tomorrow night.
You're going back?
Sure. If you don't mind|taking care of the kids again.
Uh, no.|I don't mind.
Good night, Homer.
- It is for you.|- Oh, Jacques, it fits.
You got it in my size,|and it has my name on it.
It's really for me.
Seventeen-fifty.|Enjoy it, my darling.
Here we are.
- You didn't have to drop me off.|- But I wanted to.
Marge, do you know how beautiful|you look in the moonlight?
Oh, Jacques.|I'm a married woman.
I know. I know.
My mind says,"Stop,"|but my heart...
and my hips|cy," Proceed."
- Marge, darling,|I want to see you tomorrow.
Not at Barney's Bowlarama. Away from|the thunderous folly of clattering pins.
- Meet me tomorrow for brunch.|- What's brunch?
You'll love it. It's not quite|breakfast, it's not quite lunch,
but it comes with a slice of|cantaloupee at the end.
You don't get completely what you would|at breakfast, but you get a good meal.
- I don't think so.|- Marge, darling,
there are ten pins|in my heart.
You've knocked over eight.
Won't you please|pick up that spare?
Mm. Mm.|All right!
- Marge?|- What, Homer?
Here you go, kids.|Special lunches.
Lots of good things|for growing bodies...
and some treats|just for fun.
- Ay, caramba!|- Are you going bowling|again tonight, Mom?
Well, yes, I am,|as a matter of fact.
Here's more treats.|Your dad will take care of dinner.
Mmm, Wednesday.|Hoagie night.
Good-bye, Lisa.|My darling little Lisa.
Good-bye, Bart.|My special little guy.
Mmm!|Great lunches, eh, Lis?
Oh, Bart, don't you see? This is what|psychologists call overcompensation.
Mom is wracked with guilt|because her marriage is failing.
Hey, don't|rock the boat, man.
Whatever it is,|we're making out like bandits.
Bart, I read about|what happens to kids...
whose parents no longer love|and cherish each other.
They go through|eight separate stages.
Right now,|I'm in stage three, fear.
You're in stage two,|denial.
- No, I'm not.|- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.|- Yes, you are.
- I'm not. I'm not. Am not!|- I stand corrected.
- Mimosa?|- I'm a married women.|Don't call me that.
No, no, no, no, no.
Mimosa is the name|of the drink.
It's orangejuice|and champagne.
You're so wonderful that you thought|it was something offensive.
Oh, well, thank you.
Marge? Marge Simpson.
You remember me, don't you?|I'm Helen Lovejoy,
- the gossipy wife of the minister.|- Hello, Helen.
I had just finished eating|and was about to leave...
when I looked over this way|and said to myself,
"Isn't that Marge Simpson having brunch|with a man who isn't her husband?"
And I just had to come over|and say hello.
- We're, um--|- Oh, don't squirm on my account.
I am giving her|a bowling lesson, thank you.
Now, Marge, the pins on the|three-seven-ten split would be here.
We'll make this little piece|of food the ball.
The ball's bigger.|But for food, this is a good ball.
Oh, well, bye-bye.
- See you in church on Sunday, Marge.|- Good-bye, Helen.
You have|a lovely friend there.
- Let's hope something runs over her.
Your laughter|is like music to me.
But if you laugh|at what I say next, I will die,
for I am about to say|something very serious,
Marge, my darling, I want you|to meet with me again,
- That doesn't shock me.|- away from pying eyes,
away from the Helens|of the world,
at my apartment--|the Fiesta Terrace.
I've been waiting for you.|Come in, my captivating one.
May I have this dance?
You certainly have a lot|of bowling trophies.
I like you so much.
They're not for bowling,|Marge.
You're so naive.|They are for lovemaking.
- Really?|- Yes.
- Champagne?|- Please.
There, my darling.
- Thank you.
What cosmic force|brought us together, Marge?
- Destiny?|- Yes.
Some divine pinspotter...
must have placed us|side by side.
Like two fragile|bowling pins--
- Until inevitably--|- We must topple.
Marge, speak to me.
- Is Thursday okay?|- It's okay, indeed.
" For Marge"?
Hey, Dad. What do you say|we toss the ol' apple around?
Son, I don't know ifl can lift|my head, let alone a ball.
Aw, come on, Dad.|Get the lead out.
Simpson checks the runner on first.|He's cool. He's fine.
Here's the windup,|and here's the pitch.
Dad, you didn't|even say "ouch."
Lisa. Lisa, I think|you're right about Dad.
- Something's very, very wrong here.|- Frightened, Bart?
Welcome to stage three,|fear.
We gotta do something, man.
Sorry, Bart.|I'd love to help you,
but I'm mired|in stage five, self-pity.
Look, Dad. I don't know|what's going on,
but once you gave me|some advice that might help.
I gave you advice?|Get out of here.
Yeah, you did. You told me|when something's bothering you...
and you're too damn stupid|to know what to do,
just keep|your fool mouth shut.
At least that way,|you won't make things worse.
Hmm. Good advice.
Marge,|may I speak to you?
- Sure.|- You know, I've been thinking.
Eveyone makes peanut butter|and jelly sandwiches,
but usually the jelly|drips out over the side...
and the guy's|hands get all sticky.
But your jelly stays right in the middle|where it's supposed to.
I don't know how you do it.
Youjust got a gift, I guess.|I've always thought so.
I just never mentioned it,|but it's time you knew how I feel.
I don't believe|in keeping feelings bottled up.
Good-bye, my wife.
- Good-bye, Homer.
To the most beautiful|moment in life.
Better than the deed,|better than the memory--
the moment|of anticipation.
Oh, Jacques, you handsome devil.|Look at you.
You're really going|to strike out tonight!
- Ain't you hungry, Homer?|- Starving.
Well, then why aren't|you eating your sandwich?
How can I eat it? She made it.|It's all I have left.
Marge!|What a lovely surprise.
You're here to see me,|right?
Hey, way to go, Homer.|Way to go!
What will I tell|the boss?
Tell him I'm going to the backseat|of my car with the woman I love,
and I won't be back|for ten minutes.
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Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)