Simpsons 01x10 - Homers Night Out
So, how was the office|birthday party?
Oh, it was delightful.
The frosting on the cake|was this thick.
And Eugene Fisk--|my poor sucker of an assistant--
didn't know the fruit punch|was spiked...
and he really made|an ass of himself...
putting the moves on the new girl|in Valve Maintenance.
- Does this girl like him?
I have to warn you, Marge,
I think the poor young thing|has the hots for yours truly.
Just keeping you|on your toes, babe.
Two hundred and thirty nine pounds!|Oh, I'm a blimp.
Why are all the good things|so tasty?
From now on,|exercise evey morning.
You're not a blimp,|Homer.
You're my big|cuddly teddy bear.
Aw, baloney. Yeah, right.
Aw, baloney. Yeah, right.
Oh, give me a break.
Wow, cool, man!
Two hundred|and thirty nine pounds?
I'm a whale.
Why was I cursed with this weakness|for snack treats?
Well, from now on,|exercise every morning, Homer.
Oh. Don't strain|yourself, dear.
Good idea, Marge.
By the way,|this Friday night...
I'm gonna be attending a little|get together with the boys at work.
Eugene Fisk is marrying|some girl in Valve Maintenance.
Homer, is this|some kind of stag party?
No, no, Marge.|It's gonna be very classy.
A tea-and-crumpets|kind ofthing.
Eugene Fisk.|Isn't he your assistant?
- No! My supervisor.|- Didn't he used to be your assistant?
- What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?|- Sorry, Homer.
- Uh-oh, it's the "fe-mailman."
Female carrier, Bart.
Lady, where's my spy camera?
- "Where's my spy camera?"|- Where's my spy camera?|Where's my spy camera, lady?
- Evey day for the last six months--|- Where's my spy camera?
Where's my spy camera?|Where's my spy camera?
Here's your|stupid spy camera!
Whoa, man.|Look at the size of this thing.
I wonder|if it really works.
'Cause I got|a lot of spying to do.
Bart!|What are you doing?
Sorry, Dad.|The answer to that is top secret.
- Oh, Bart.|- What?
Go take some wildlife pictures|or something.
Mom, Bart was taking|a picture of his butt.
Oh, sure. Like I'm really gonna|take a picture of my butt.
Stop it, you two.|And put on some nice clothes.
Since it'sjust|the four of us tonight,
- we're having dinner|at The Rusty Barnacle.|- Yea, fried shrimp!
Aw, Mom. Can't we just|grab a burger at--
Only four of us?|Who escaped?
Your father.|He's having a boys' night out.
Justas I was asking myself,
"Where did my seven-year-old|boy get the money...
for a Father's Day present?"
I opened the box.
And inside was little|Eugene's baseball glove.
- He had given me the one thing...
that mattered most to him|in the whole world.
Eugene, when I see you--|the one thing that matters|most to me in the whole world--
I'm going to know|just how you felt that day.
- I love you, Dad.|- I love you, son.
Where am I,|the planet Cornball?
Hey, don't worry. Things are gonna pick|up once the entertainment gets here.
- Ooh, entertainment.|- Yes, sir.
Ahoy! I spy|the children's menu.
- Ahoy, this place bites.|- Bart.
So, what's it gonna be,|me little bucko?
Hm, let's see.
This evening|I shall go for the...
- squid platter,|- Ew.
- with extra tentacles, please.
- Oh, Bart. Excuse me, sir.
The party next door seems|to be a little raucous.
Could you please ask them|to quiet down a little bit, please?
Eh, eh, eh, eh.
Hey, ty to keep|it down, guys.
- Okay?|- Hey, shut up.
Open the door and lie on the floor|said Barnacle Bill the sailor
Here you go.
There you are.|For the baby.
And one squidplatter,|extra tentacles.
- Bart, quit fooling around|and eat your dinner.|- Yeah, eat it, Bart.
Ugh. May I please be excused|for a minute?
Okay, but don't dawdle.|Your food will get cold.
One last taste|of bachelor freedom.
queen of the mysterious East.
Now this is|what I call a party.
How do I tell you this, my boy?|We're in hell.
Look at him squirm.
- You care to dance?|- She wants you, Homer.
- Go for it, Homer!
Shake his buns.
I'm sorry.|I don't usually laugh like this.
Ai, caramba.|Wow, man.
Oh, this is the most fun|I've ever had in my life.
The meeting of the Future Photographers|of america is now in session.
We would like to welcome|our new member, Bart Simpson.
Whoa. People, people.|Don't applaud. Let's get to work.
My goodness.|Quite exciting.
- Extremely sensual.|- The subtle graytones recall|the work of Helmut Newton.
Who's the sexy lady,|Bart?
Beats me. But the guy dancing|with her is my pop.
- Wow!|- He brings to mind|the laterwork of Diane Arbus.
Bart, I'd really appreciate|a print of your masterwork.
- Me too.|- Yeah, come on.
Sorry, guys.|No can do.
Come on, Bart. You're gonna make me|a print, aren't you?
Will you swear not to let another|living soul get a copy of this photo?
- Okay. Yep.|- Cross your heart and hope to die?
- Stick a needle in your eye?|Jam a dagger in your thigh?|- Yep. Yep.
Eat a horse manure pie?
- Yep.|- Well, okay.
- Pst. Look what I got.|- Whoa. I gotta have a copy of that.
- Sorry.|- Aw, come on.
Hey, Bart. How come Milhouse gets a|copy of your girlie picture and I don't?
- I thought I was your friend too.|- Well, okay.
Son, why are you wasting your time|with this sleazy trash?
Wait till I show|the guys at work this little doozy.
Mike, this is Al.
Just wanted to thank you for the|"informative memo" you faxed me.
Whoops. Here comes the boss.|Gotta go.
Reverend Lovejoy,|your wife confiscated this...
- from one of the boys in the choir.
Why this sheep has strayed|from my own flock. His name's--
Homer Simpson, sir,|a low-level employee...
- in sector 7-G.|- Simpson, huh?
- A family man?|- Wife and three kids, sir.
I'd like to see our self-styled|Valentino tomorrow morning, Smithers.
What are we laughing at?
One glazed and|one Scratch-'N-Win, please.
You look familiar, sir. Are you|on the television or something?
Sorry, buddy. You got me confused|with Fred Flintstone.
Oh. Liberty Bell.
Another Liberty Bell!
One more and I'm a millionaire.
Come on, Liberty Bell,|please, please, please.
D'oh!|That purple fruit thing.
- Where were you yesterday?|- Hey, hey. Looking good.
- What do you want, pal?|- Hey mister.
Do, do, do, do, do
Do dee do dee do
Well, a "do dee do dee do"|to you too, pint size.
Jeez, you get|a lot of nutcases in here.
Oh, sir, I've seen things|you can't imagine.
- Hey, hey, hey.|- I hear you, buddy.
Whew. Full moon.
- Hmm. Still got it.
- What is the meaning of this?
Meaningless, Marge. Don't even|attempt to find meaning in it.
There's nothing between me|and Princess Kashmir.
- Princess who?|- Hey, my photo.
- Your photo?|- Uh-oh.
- Why you little--|- Why you big--
- Bart, go to your room.|- I'm out of here.
- Look, Marge, honey, baby, doll, I--|- Homer,
I don't even want|to look at you right now.
- What are you saying, honey?
- But where will I sleep?|- My suggestion...
is for you to sleep|in the filth you created.
Would a motel be okay?
Oh, I knew you'd|come to your--
Here. If you have any soul left,|you'll need these.
I know I will.
What's the matter, Homer?|Hottest ladies' night in months...
- and you're not even|checking out the action.|- Oh, Moe.
My wife gave me the old heave ho|because of some lousy picture.
- What, this one?|- D'oh!
- So, uh, where are you|staying tonight, Homer?|- Motel, I guess.
Oh, no.|No pal of mine is gonna stay...
in some dingy flophouse.
If you get hungy|in the middle of the night,
there's an open beer|in the fridge.
Look, Barney.|See the row of tiny lights up there?
The middle one|is my house.
Someone must have left|the porch light on.
Hey that's rough,|pal.
- You left your damn porch light on.|- Barney!
- You left your damn porch light on.|- Barney!
Homer's not|made of money, you know.
- Who is this?|- Don't listen to him, Marge. He's--
- Oh, it's you.|- Oh.
Homer, you're overwrought.
Why don't you|unwind a bit?
Party down the hall.
You know, this|apartment complex caters...
to upscale young singles like me.
No, Barn. I just want|to crawl into bed.
Suit yourself, Homer.|Nighty-night.
I wonder when|Dad's coming home.
Homer Simpson.|Report at once to Mr. Burns' office.
What in blue blazes|do you think you're doing, Simpson?
- What do you mean, sir?|- I mean this.
- A plant employee carrying on...
like an oversexed|orangutan in heat.
This is a family|nuclear powerplant, Simpson.
Our research indicates|that over 50 percent of our power...
is used by women.
I will not have you offending my|customers with your bawdy shenanigans.
It won't happen again, sir.|I promise.
- May I get out of your sight now?|- Just a second, Simpson.
Smithers, would you leave|the room for a minute?
I am by most measures|a successful man.
I have wealth and power|beyond the dreams of you|and your clock-punching ilk.
And yet, I've led|a solitay life.
The fair sex|remains a mystey to me.
You seem to have|a way with women, a certain--
how shall I put it--
Help me, Simpson.
Tell me your secret.
Uh, Mr. Burns, in spite|of what eveybody thinks,
I'm no lover boy.
Simpson,|I'm asking you nicely.
- I don't really know, sir.|- Simpson!
Well, I wine them,|I...
dine them,|bring them flowers,
write them lovepoetry, sir.
It's simplicity itself.
I won't forget this,|Simpson.
Now return to your work and tell|no one of what transpired here.
- Anybody home?|- Hi, Daddy.
Welcome back, Dad.
- How's your mom?|- Still kind of ticked off.
Yeah.|Good luck, man.
Oh, thanks, boy.
It's me, Homer.
Are you still mad?
You are still mad.|Don't need to say it.
I'm your loving husband.|I can read you like a book.
I'll just have|some milk.
Look, I'm not drinking|out of the carton.
Look, I'm not drinking|out of the carton.
Come on, Marge! Please forgive me.
I'm sorry.|I'm so sorry.
Homer, you don't even know|why you're apologizing.
Yes, I do.|Because I'm hungy,
my clothes are smelly,|and I'm tired.
I've been|thinking, Homer,
and you know what bothers me|the most about this whole thing?
You taught Bart|a vey bad lesson.
Your boy idolizes you.
- Oh, he does not.|- Yes, he does, Homer.
And when he sees you|treating women as objects,
he's going to think|that it's okay.
You owe your son|better than that, Homer.
So what should I do, Marge?
Well, I think you|should take Bart...
to meet this exotic|belly-person.
I want him to see|that she's a real human being...
with real thoughts|and real feelings.
I want Bart to see you apologize|for the way you treated her.
Okay. Your wish is my command,|my little--
Princess Kashmir?|You must mean April Flower.
She's working|over at the Girlesque.
See, I'm tying to teach my son here|about treating women as objects.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Uh, but April's over|at Foxy Boxing tonight.
Just let me say|that it is an honor...
to have Springfield's number-one|swinger here with us to--
I'm teaching my boy a lesson.|Is she here or not?
Uh, ty Mud City.
- We're gonna ty one more place,|the Sapphire Lounge.
Bart! I said look|at the floor.
...he really loves me--
There she is. Hey, Princess, it's me,|the guy from the snapshot.
Oh. Oh, hi.
Places, ladies, places.
Can I get just a little|cooperation? It's show time.
I'm here because I want to apologize|for treating you like an object.
- Uh-huh.|- I also want my boy...
to find out that you're more|than just a belly.
I want him to meet the woman behind|all the spangles and glitter...
and find out that she has|thoughts and feelings too.
- Oh, well, okay.|But can we make it quick?|- Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Could you tell him|a little about yourself?
- Well, uh, my real name|is Shawna Tifton.|- Uh-huh.
- My pet peeve is rude people.|- Uh-huh.
- And my turn-ons include silk sheets...|- Uh-huh.
- and a warm fireplace.|- Thank you very much, ma'am.
We'll be on our--
- I've heard them say so often
They can love|their wives ooh
But I think|that's just foolish
Men must have hearts
Made of stone
Now my heart is made
- Cool, man.|- Of softer stuff
- Get out of my cage.
- My boss will freak out.|- Oh, no.
- A pretty girl can't|look my way without|-Don't. Don't!
- Don't. No.|- Get out. Get out of here.
- Get your hands off.
A new romance
Oh I could love|a million girls
And every girl a twin
I could love a Chinese girl|an Eskimo or--
Get off of my stage,|fat boy.
Hey, it's the guy from the picture.
- Homer Simpson!|- Sorry, partner.
I didn't recognize you|at first.
Ladies and gentlemen,|it's an honor...
to have a real swinging cat|with us tonight.
Homer Simpson,|party guy.
- Mr. Maestro.
Oh I could love|a million girls
And every girl a twin
Yeah I could love|a Chinese girl
An Eskimo or Finn
I could dig a Deutschland chick|a girl with golden curls
In fact I think|that we could love
About a million girls
Ooh. Look out.
- How does he do it, Smithers?|- He's a love machine, sir.
Da, da, da
Way to go, Dad.
Uh-oh.|Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.|Stop the music.
Quiet, please.|I have something to say. Quiet.
You with the hair,|down in front.
Oh, no.|He's sunk even lower.
I have something to say|to all the sons out there.
To all the boys, to all the men,|to all of us.
It's about women,
and how they are not mere objects|with curves that make us crazy.
No, they are our wives,
they are our daughters,|our sisters,
our grandmas, our aunts,|our nieces and nephews.
Well, not our nephews.
They are our mothers.
And you know something, folks?|As ridiculous as this sounds,
I would rather feel the sweet breath|of my beautiful wife...
on the back of my neck|as I sleep...
than to stuff dollar bills|into some stranger's G-string.
Am I wrong?|Or am I right?
My wife gets the cutest little thing,|right here, when she smiles.
- This is my Suzie.|- Oh, she's so cute.
You know, my mom sounded|a little down the other day.
I'd better|give her a call.
- Homer.|- Marge.
All right, folks. Show's over.|No more to see, folks.
Come on. Only sick people|want to see my folks kiss.
SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998
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South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut
Soylent Green 1973
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirited Away CD2
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)