Simpsons The 05x02 - Cape Feare
[ Chorus ] " The Simpsons "
[ Bell Ringing ]
[ Whistle Blowing ]
[ Beeping ]
" [Jazzy Solo ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Tires Screeching ]
D'oh! [ Screams ]
"[ Broadway Version Of Theme Song ]
"[ Circus ]
[ Elephants Trumpeting ]
"[ Fanfare ]
[ Announcer ] Ladies and gentlemen, it's Up Late With McBain.
I'm your announcer, Obergruppenfuehrer Wolfcastle.
And here's McBain!
[ Applause ]
Ja. Thank you. Ja. That's nice.
Let's say hello to my music guy, Scoey.
[ Applause, Whooping ]
That is some outfit, Scoey.
It makes you look like a homosexual.
- [ Booing ] - Oh.
- Maybe you all are homosexuals too. - [Jeering ]
This is horrible.
The Fox network has sunk to a new low.
Lisa, you got a letter.
It's from my pen pal, Anya.
[ Anya's Voice ] Dear Lisa--As I write this, I am very sad.
Our president has been overthrown and--
[ Man's Voice Continues ] Replaced by the benevolent General Krull.
All hail Krull and his glorious new regime.!
Sincerely, Little Girl.
- Oh. - You got a letter too, Bart.
''I'm going to kill you.'' [ Gasps ]
" The Itchy and Scratchy Show "
[ Humming ]
Huh? Oh! [ Laughs ]
Oh! [ Yells ]
[ Shrieks ]
[ Struggling ] Ah!
- [ Machine Stops ] - [ Sighs ]
Bart, what's wrong with you?
Oh, my God. Someone's trying to kill me! Eh!
- Oh, wait. It's for Bart. - [ Gasps ]
Hmm, this one's done in different handwriting.
Oh, uh, I wrote that one...
after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt.
[ All Laughing ]
But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace.
It's probably the person you least suspect.
[ Chuckles ] That's good, Dad.
I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit.
It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George ''Goober'' Lindsey.
Grampa, Matlock's not real.
Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob...
if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste.
Now that's good eatin'!
[ Footsteps ]
Oh, I checked around. The girls are calling you ''fatty-fat fat fat''...
and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants.
But nobody's trying to kill ya.
Oh, that's good.
[ Girls Chanting ] Fatty-fat fat fat. Fatty-fatty fat fat.
[ Deejay ] All right. This is dedicated to Bart Simpson...
with a message: ''I am coming to kill you slowly and painfully.''
[ High-pitched Laughter] Wipeout.
" [ ''Wipeout'' ]
Bart, I'm going to get you--
- [ Gasps ] - some ice cream at the store...
since I'm saving so much money on diet cola.
- [ Bart Gasps ] - Say your prayers, Simpson.
- [ Bart Shuddering ] - Because the schools can't force you like they should.
Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
You're going to be my murder victim, Bart...
in our school production of Lizzie Borden.
Starring Martin Prince as Lizzie.
Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart.
I'd like to help you, ma'am, but-- [ Chuckles ]
I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
- I'm pretty sure there is. - Ha!
The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle--
- Uh, hey, she's right, Chief. - Well, shut my mouth.
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
- Boys, knock it off. - [ All Grumbling ]
[ Squirrels Chittering ]
Bart, I figured it out.
Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to for years?
- Linda Lavin? - No, someone who didn't deserve it.
- [ Beeping ] - Hello, Moe?
We know you're the one behind this, so knock it off, or we're going to the cops!
No, no, I'll take care of it.
Okay, it's over. Get 'em outta here!
Ha! Ha! Hmm! Hmm!
You're out there somewhere.
But where? Where?
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Laughing ]
Dear Life in These United States,
A funny thing happened to me--
Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.
Next up for parole, Bob Terwilliger,
a.k.a. Sideshow Bob.
Take care, Snake. May the next time we meet...
- be under more felicitous circumstances. - Ga?
- Take care. - Ba.
Sideshow Bob has no decency.
He called me ''Chief Piggum.''
- [ All Laughing ] - Oh, now I get it.
[ Forced Laugh ] That's good.
- Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon. - [ Murmuring ]
How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
[ Woman Clears Throat ]
- [ Gasps ] - Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Robert, if released...
would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Bart Simpson? [ Chuckles ]
The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes...
and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?
Uh, we object to the term ''urine-soaked hellhole''...
when you could have said ''peepee-soaked heckhole.''
- Cheerfully withdrawn. - What about that tattoo on your chest?
Doesn't it say ''Die, Bart, Die''?
No, that's German for---
''The Bart, The.''
[ Laughing, Murmuring ]
No one who speaks German can be an evil man.
[ Rolling Thunder ]
[ Man In Movie ] Wow.! The ''pooblic libary. ''
Let's stay here for a while, Vern.
[ Sideshow Bob.: Exaggerated Laughter ]
[ Coughs ] Oh, that man is so rude.
- Yeah. - [ Laughing Continues ]
If you don't mind, we're trying to watch the mov--
[ Man In Movie ] Hey, Vern. Help me get my head out of this toilet.
- [ Toilet Flushes ] - [ Laughing ]
Oh, really now, that's too much.
[ Both Scream ] It's Sideshow Bob!
- You wrote me those letters. - You awful man!
- Stay away from my son. - Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right.
Stay away... forever.
- Oh, no! - Wait a minute. That's no good.
[ Grumbles ]
[ Footsteps Departing, Running Footsteps Approaching ]
Wait. I've got a good one now. Marge, say ''Stay away from my son'' again.
- No! - [ Grumbles ]
[ Creaking ]
[ Grunting ]
- [ Singsongy ] And turn and flex. - And shake and bounce and turn.
And flex and shake and bounce.
Now Sideshow Bob can't get in without me knowing.
And once a man is in your home, anything you do to him...
- is nice and legal. - Is that so?
Oh, Flanders, won't you join me in my kitchen?
- [ Door Opens ] - [ Sinister Laugh ]
- Uh, doesn't work if you invite him. - Hidilly-hey!
Now don't you fret. When I'm through...
he won't set foot in this town again.
- I can be very, very persuasive. - [ Cocks Gun ]
[ Siren Wailing In Distance ]
- Come on! Leave town! - No.
- I'll be your friend. - No.
Oh, you're mean.
The following neighborhood residents...
will not be killed by me: Ned Flanders...
- Maude Flanders. - Oh, isn't that nice?
Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson...
Lisa Simpson, that little baby Simpson.
- That is all. - Whoo-hoo! Did you hear, Bart?
[ Door Creaks ]
Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. We've helped hundreds of people in danger.
We'll give you a new name, a new job, new identities.
Whoo! I wanna beJohn Elway.
- [ Crowd Cheering ] - [ Indistinct Yelling ]
[ Announcer ] Elway takes the snap and runs it in for a touchdown.!
Thanks to Elway's patented last-second magic...
the fnal score of Super Bowl XXX--
Denver, 7 San Francisco, 56.
- Whoo-hoo! - I don't think this is such a good idea.
This isn't just because of Sideshow Bob.
It's a chance to turn around all our stinkin' lives.
I'll be Gus, the loveable chimney sweep.
Clean as a whistle. Sharp as a thistle.
- Best in all Westminster. Yeah! - Shut up, boy.
We have places your family can hide in peace and security.
Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville.
- Ooh, Ice Creamville. - No, Screamville.
- [ Screams ] - Tell you what, sir.
From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson at Terror Lake.
Let's just practice a bit, hmm?
When I say, ''Hello, Mr. Thompson,'' you'll say, ''Hi.''
- Check. - Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Remember now-- your name is Homer Thompson.
- I gotcha. - Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[ Groans ] Now, when I say, ''Hello, Mr. Thompson''...
and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
- No problem. - Hello, Mr. Thompson.
I think he's talking to you.
- Here you go. - Oh, what a cute convertible.
You guys at the bureau thought of everything.
Hey, look! The F.B.I. Light Opera Society Sings the Complete Gilbert and Sullivan.
[ Engine Starts ]
"Three little maids from school are we "
" Pert as a schoolgirl well can be "
" Filled to the brim with girlish glee three little girls from school "
- " Everything is a source of fun " - " [ Laughing ]
[ Sinister Laughing ]
- [ Thud ] - Eh, lousy speed bumps.
Ooh! Whoa! Hey!
[ Sipping Loudly ] Oh, this coffee's too hot!
[ Sideshow Bob Yells ]
Hey, kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?
- Yeah! - Yeah!
- [ Sideshow Bob ] No.! - Whoop, two against one.
[ Sideshow Bob Groaning, Yelling ]
[ Chorus ] " The Thompsons "
Wow, a houseboat.
You know, the great thing is, if you don't like your neighbors...
you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else.
[ All Laughing ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
[ Grumbles ]
- [ Smack ] - [ Grumbles ]
- Homer, where's the dog? - I tied him up out back.
[ Panting ]
[ Sighs ]
We've left it all behind.
How can you make a clean break with your life?
Relax, Marge. I tied up all the loose ends before we left.
You have my pills!
Hello? I'm cold, and there are wolves after me.
[ Wolves Howling ]
- Hello, Bart. - [ Screams ]
Down here, Bart.
- [ Thud ] - Ow! [ Whimpering ]
- What do you want? - Surely there's no harm...
in laying in the middle of a public street.
"[ Marching Band ]
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
Not the elephants! [ Moans ]
- [ Elephant Trumpets ] - [ Bones Cracking ]
[ Sideshow Bob Groaning ]
[ Groaning Continues ]
[ Swallowing ] Ahh!
Mom, Dad! I saw Sideshow Bob, and he threatened to kill me!
- Bart, don't interrupt! - Homer, this is serious.
Oh, it is not.
Roman numeral three: Surprise boy in bed--
[ Slurps ]
and, uh, disembowel him.
No, I don't like that ''bowel'' in there. Gut him.
Ah, le motjuste. [ Kisses ]
[ Groaning ]
- [ Loudly ] Bart, you want some brownie before you go to bed? - [ Screams ]
Come on. Let me cut you a brownie while they're still hot.
[ Sighs ] Dad, I'm kind of edgy right now.
I'd appreciate you not coming in my room screaming and brandishing a butcher knife.
Why? Oh, right. The Sideshow Bob thing.
Oh, I'm sorry, boy.
[ Loudly ] Bart, do you want to see my new chainsaw and hockey mask?
- [ Screams ] - Oh, sorry.
What am I thinking?
[ Grumbles ]
- [ Door Opens ] - Hello, Bart.
- Mom! Dad! - Your family can't help you now.
- [ All Grunting ] - [ Homer Snoring ]
- Oh, no, Dad's been drugged. - No, he hasn't.
- [ Chomps ] - Uh-oh.
[ Panting ]
- [ Electrical Charges ] - Oh!
[ Panting ]
- [ Chomps ] - Oh, yeah.
Well, Bart, any last requests?
Well, there is one, but--
- Nah. - No, go on.
Well, you have such a beautiful voice.
- Guilty as charged. - Uh-huh.
Anyway, I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the H.M.S. Pinafore.
Very well, Bart.
I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell.
And a-two, and a-three, and-- "We sail the ocean blue "
"And our saucy ship's a beauty "
"We are sober men and true and attentive to our duty "
" I'm called Little Buttercup "
" Poor Little Buttercup "
"Though I could never tell why "
- [ Crunching ] - "What, never? No, never "
"What, never "
" Hardly ever He's hardly ever sick at sea "
"For he himselfhas said it "
"And it's clearly to his credit "
"That he is an Englishman "
" He remains an E-E-E-En "
" Glish "
" Man "
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
And now... the final curtain.
- [ Grunts, Groans ] - [ Gun Cocks ]
Hold it right there, Sideshow Bob. You're under arrest.
By Lucifer's beard!
Ah, yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel.
[ Police Radio Chatter ]
I knew I had to buy some time...
so I asked him to sing the score from the H.M.S. Pinafore.
Ooh, a plan fiendishly clever in its intricacies.
Take him away, boys.
Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.
- What'd you say, Chief? - Do what the kid says.
- Mm, it's so good to be home again. - [ Tires Skid ]
- Look what happened without my pills! - [ Gasps ]
Bart, run upstairs! Get Grampa's medicine.
Not so fast. I wanna court this fair,young maiden.
[ Grampa ] There's somethin'you should know about me.
[Jasper ] I've got Steve and Eydie tickets.
[ Grampa ] I'm all yours.! [ Kisses ]
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Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)