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South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand

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Mecha Streisand
So these ancient arrowheads are buried deep in the earth.
We dig them up and find over 1 2 new arrowheads every month.
Eric, keep quiet! I'm trying to sleep.
Can anybody tell me who left these arrowheads here?
Isn't that your job?
Yes, but I want to see if you're learning anything.
Let's all grab our anthropology pickaxes that were handed out...
...and we'll dig for our very own Indian arrowheads.
Shut up, Cartman!
- I think I found one! - No, I found it!
I found it first.
- No, I did, Pip! - Oh, dear.
- We'll roshambo for it. - What do you mean?
First, I kick you in the nuts. Then you kick me in the nuts.
We keep going until somebody falls. Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
- I suppose if I must. - Ready? I'll go first.
Well, I guess you win.
I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead.
Look, I found another one!
This is just a stupid triangle.
Check it out, dude. It's got little drawings on it.
- What is it? - I don't know.
- That was cool! - Give it back!
You threw it away. It's mine.
- We'll roshambo for it. - No, it's mine.
- Anthropologist! - How's it going?
I found a magic triangle, and he took it from me!
- You threw it away, fatso! - Let me see.
This is Anasazi writing! This must be thousands of years old.
Come on, let me kick you in the nuts for it!
Finally, a boy from South Park, Colorado...
...found something during a field trip today.
Here with a special report, a quadriplegic on a pony.
The 8-year-old was very shocked...
...when he came across an ancient object.
I was, like, "Dude, I found this triangle."
My friends were, like, "Dude."
I said, "I'll kick you in the nuts."
But he didn't give it back. I kicked him...
...and he cried like Nancy Kerrigan. - Liar!
Screw you, thief!
The boy will take his discovery home and perhaps donate it to science later.
- Back to you. - Thanks. Those are cute kids.
Except for that last one, he's a bit tubby.
- What will you do with it? - Hide it from Cartman.
I'll find it, don't worry!
Goddamn it, give me my triangle!
- You did throw it away. - I was setting it aside.
Let it go.
I'll get that triangle if it's the last thing I do!
Give me a little pepper. Give me a little salt.
- Put it in the skillet... - Excuse me.
- You're that movie critic guy on TV. - Leonard Maltin, yes.
Well, I'll be a teenage girl at an Aerosmith concert.
Leonard Maltin in my cafeteria! I'm Chef.
I know. Listen to me.
We have little time. Have you seen Barbra Streisand?
You mean, like, "the" Barbra Streisand?
- Have you seen her?! - Not since Yentl.
- Then I'm not too late. - Too late for what?
It's important you tell me where those boys from the news report are.
Why do you care?
I have a button we can use for his nose.
- What's a marble sack for? - Be careful, Kyle might steal it.
- I didn't steal anything. - Tell Kyle I'm not speaking with him.
What's that noise?
Who is the boy I saw on the news report tonight?
Hello, little boy. Do you know who I am?
- No. - I bet you do.
Stop that!
That sucks, dude!
- I'm Barbra Streisand! - So?
So?! I'm a very famous and very important individual.
- Like John Elway important? - What?!
- You know John Elway? - No!
You're famous and important, but you don't know John Elway?
Little boy, I understand that you found a neat little triangle near here.
- Yeah. - No, I found it! He stole it!
- You threw it away! - He's a dirty thief.
Does the triangle have two snakes joined at the middle?
- Yeah, how did you know? - Okay, now this is very important.
- Where is the Triangle of Zinthar now? - Triangle of Zinthar?
- Why do you wanna know? - I'm not talking to you!
- Whoa, dude! - Where is the triangle, damn it?
- What seems to be the problemo here? - There's no problemo, officer.
I was introducing myself to these charming boys.
She's being a total bitch!
- Boys, shouldn't you be in school? - It's Saturday.
No excuses! Move along, you little troublemakers!
- Well? - Well, what?
- You know who I am, don't you? - Well, you ain't Fiona Apple.
And if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass!
What a bitch!
I guess he's not home.
- Damn! Then we must look for them. - What is this all about?
If Barbra saw the same news report, those boys are in danger.
If you were Barbra Streisand, where would you be now?
No, where would she be staying?
I heard she had her own $4 million condo up near the ski slope.
- Where? - I don't know, it was a rumor.
Damn it, where's your car?!
That little bastard has the triangle, Milo.
- Are you sure? - He knew about the symbol of Krulak.
- Why don't we go get it? - A cop showed up.
I can't blow it now that I'm so close. It must be handled carefully.
How many years has it been? Thirty? Forty?
For so long I've waited to find the other triangle.
And now I am so close.
The dawn of Zinthar is close at hand!
- Cartman? - You scared the crap out of me, Ike!
- What are you doing? - I'm trying...
I'm not talking to you.
Ike, tell Kyle that I was trying to get my triangle back.
Ike, tell Cartman that it's my triangle!
Tell Kyle he's a goddamn son of a bitch!
If it means that much to you, take the stupid triangle!
If it'll make you leave me alone, take it! Here!
Now get out of my house. I hope you feel really good about yourself.
Hell, yeah, I got the triangle.
I got the triangle, I got the triangle! You don't, you don't!
- You sure Barbra's condo is here? - It was a rumor.
- A lot of celebrities have condos. - Then we've got to keep looking.
This has gone far enough. I won't drive until you tell me what this is about.
Aren't you curious about the insanity Barbra exhibits?
- I always heard she was a bitch. - More than a bitch!
She's a calculating, egotistical bitch.
Her mother's a jackal. Her father's an insurance salesman.
Insurance salesman?
At 5, she wanted to be a singer.
But by 6, her goal was to rule the universe.
She learned of the Diamond of Pantheous...
You know what? Never mind. I don't need to know all this.
The keepers of Pantheous learned of her wish.
The diamond was split up and buried.
While shooting My Fair Lady, Barbra found one triangle.
The other triangle is the one Kyle has?
If Babs gets that other triangle, she'll fulfill her prophecy...
...and become the most threatening thing ever known:
- Mecha Streisand! - Mecha Streisand?
I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound good.
The bus sure is late.
I wonder what I should do with my triangle? Now that it is mine.
Damn it, I gave it to you so you would shut up!
Hello there, little boys.
- How are you today? - Fine.
That is great. My name is Mrs. Jones. I am a very friendly, nice person.
- I hear one of you found my triangle. - Your triangle?
Yes. You see, that triangle is part of my kidney dialysis machine.
I'm so glad you found it. Because without it, I would die within hours.
- Oh, no, finders keepers! - But I'll die.
We'll roshambo for it. I'll kick you in the nuts. Then you kick me.
I want to give you a big cash reward for finding it.
- It's worth a lot of money to me. - It is?
No wonder that Barbra Streisand lady wanted it.
Who is that?
Just this really, really old lady who wishes she was still 45.
You should have seen her nose. It's big enough to land planes on.
- Talk about a bitch, I haven't seen... - Enough!
Anyway, if you'll come with me in my car...
...I'll take you to my condo and kill you...
I mean, give you money for the triangle.
Sweet! I'll be rich!
Bet you wish you didn't give me that triangle. Dumb-ass!
Shouldn't we not get into cars with strangers?
Not when money's involved.
And action!
Rebecca, I'm a man. A man like any other with dreams and emotions.
I won't put a foreign object up my ass.
Cut! Print that. Excellent, Sid.
Take five. Let's set up for the next shot.
Hello. You must hurry.
- A boy found the Triangle of Zinthar. - Where?
A small, white-bread, mountain town called South Park.
Soon the Triangle of Zinthar will be mine.
And I will be the biggest, most famous person ever!
- Let me go! Seriously. - Yeah, let us go.
You fools have no idea the powers you're meddling with.
I'll teach you to meddle with my triangle!
- It's not my triangle, it's Kyle's! - Don't pass it back on me, fat ass!
Screw you, hippie!
- Where is the Triangle of Zinthar? - I don't remember.
- Goddamn it, tell her! I wanna go home. - Maybe this will help jar your memory.
No, don't!
Now do you remember?
Damn your black heart, Streisand!
- I don't know how much more I can take. - All right, you asked for it!
I don't know, maybe Barbra doesn't have a place up here after all.
- We'll have to go to plan B. - There's a plan B?
Why have we been driving around all day when there's a plan B?
- Ever heard of the band, The Cure? - Come on...
...don't tell me The Cure is involved too.
No, just the lead singer.
What's the matter, Leonard Maltin?
She's close. Very close. I can feel her!
- Where? - She has the boys.
- They're in trouble! - Oh, fudge!
Keep going this way. Hurry!
Okay, I'll tell you where the triangle is! It's inside my shoe.
When's the last time you changed your socks?
And your socks smell like a garden?
Finally, the triangle is mine!
After centuries of waiting, I finally have the Triangle of Zinthar!
Now, the Diamond of Pantheous is complete!
Whoa, dude!
Mecha Barbra Streisand!
This is pretty f* * * * d up.
Holy crap, Ned! That's the biggest goddamn deer I've ever seen!
Weeks after the devastating attack of mutant beasts, zombies and turkeys...
...the town of South Park has managed to rebuild itself once again...
Goddamn it, not again.
- Mayor, Barbra Streisand is... - I noticed. Call the National Guard!
We'll get you, you bitch.
And to think, I actually watched your HBO special.
- Children! - Chef!
Oh, no! She has joined the two triangles?
- Yes, she stole my triangle! - Get us down.
- I can't break these locks. - Stand back, Chef.
- That was cool! - I'll go after Streisand.
Chef, call Robert Smith of The Cure.
Robert Smith? Sweet!
- Hello? - Is this Robert Smith of The Cure?
- Yes, it is. - Leonard Maltin asked me to call you.
So Barbra Streisand's found the other triangle, eh?
All right, men, give her everything you've got!
Get outside her, Ned! I can't get a shot in from here.
I'm scared.
It's no use. Our firepower has no effect!
Oh, my God, it is you! I am such a huge fan, Miss Streisand!
I never thought I'd live to see you in person!
I hate to ask this, but could I get an autograph? My sister would die!
Thank you, Miss Streisand!
We're doomed! Goodbye, Mr. Hat.
Look out, children!
- Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards!
- What's going on here? - Sidney Poitier?
- That's right, I'm Sidney Poitier. - Damn, it's nice to meet you.
The Sidney Poitier in my hometown.
- Barbra has the Triangle of Zinthar? - She's made the Diamond of Pantheous.
Is that really necessary?
It's over. She's too strong for them. We'll have to leave town.
Make her go away. I hate Barbra Streisand!
My mom said there were no monsters, but there are.
We have to say goodbye to South Park.
Oh, my God, help me!
- Am I too late? - Who are you?
- Robert Smith of The Cure! - Sweet!
Hold this walkie. Help me fight her.
You can try.
But that thing just beat Leonard Maltin and Sidney Poitier.
I have to try. I can't let Barbra Streisand do this to the entire world.
Her weak point is the nose.
Robert Smith, hit her nose! Use robot punch.
The diamond! She must be powerless.
Quickly, Robert Smith, she's powerless!
- He did it! - No more Barbra Streisand ever!
Robert Smith is the greatest person ever!
Our savior.
Can I have my walkie-talkie back?
No way, you gave it to us. It's mine.
All right, I'll roshambo you for it. Ready?
Where's he going?
Goodbye! Thank you for your help. Visit us again.
Disintegration is the best album ever!
- What should we do with the triangles? - Get rid of them.
Nobody should have that kind of power.
At least I have the walkie-talkie Robert gave me.
No, that's mine! He gave it to me!
Don't you ever learn?
- Come on, I'll roshambo you for it. - Go to hell, Cartman.
- That whole experience sucked. - Yeah, I'm glad it's over.
I've learned something:
People who want a lot of power always end up dead.
- Yeah. - And I've learned something too:
Robert Smith kicks ass!
- Oh, no, she's back! - Oh, my God, look!
Mecha Ike!
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Spartan 2004 CD1
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Spawn (1997)
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spetters 1980
Spider-Man CD1
Spider-Man CD2
Spider (2002)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirited Away CD2
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spoilers The
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Game
Spy Hard
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
Spygirl CD1
Spygirl CD2
Square Peg
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalag 17
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strada La
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Style Wars
Suicide Regimen
Sukces 2003
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swept Away
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)