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Tai Chi II

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Bravo!
Bravo!
Children are born good-natured and innocent.
If teachings are neglected, then their nature changes.
Sung, what do you think you're doing?
This is called "hanging by the braid and jabbing on the butt".
A royal jabber bestowed by Uncle Yang.
If you don't concentrate on your studies, your butt will be jabbed.
I'll tell my father if you jab me again.
I'll tell him that you sneaked out to steal bird eggs and
almost fell into a shit hole.
Then you'll really get it!
Cousin, please don't tell Uncle Yang!
All right, I'll let you jab me one back!
All right, tell me what's happening out there?
There is a lion dance in the sitting room.
There are also many guests.
Who are the guests?
They are masters from Shaolin, Wu Tang,
White Crane, Wing Chun and other schools of martial arts.
What a party!
Those people must have come to challenge my father.
I don't think so.
I heard Uncle Yang invited them here to watch him wash his hands.
He needs an audience to wash his hands?
What happens when he eats and pisses?
Let's go and check it out!
Good idea!
Mother, you're blocking my view.
You're pretty daring, aren't you?
You should be inside studying instead of out here.
You'll be in big trouble if your father finds out.
Mother, I've been cooped up studying night and day.
Even my braid is bored stiff!
Everything your father does, he does it for you!
Even this? He's washing his hands for me?
Of course.
Be careful and don't let your father see you.
You got that?
Bravo!
My dear friends.
Today, I have invited you all here to announce my retirement.
After washing my hands in this golden basin,
I will retire from the world of martial arts.
Brother Yang, you're famous for your Tai Chi lnvincible Fists.
We all know you as honorable and righteous.
Why are you retiring from the world of martial arts so suddenly?
Since the allied troops from eight foreign countries invaded China,
we have suffered from civil conflicts and foreign threats.
Now my only wish is to live in seclusion and bring up my son.
So Dad wants to teach me his Tai Chi lnvincible Fists!
You wish!
I have known you all for decades.
While some of you may regard me as your friend,
others may feel vengeful against me.
After I wash my hands in this golden basin,
I hope to turn over a new leaf and put everything behind us.
Who are you?
Mister, please pardon my ignorance.
May I ask your name?
Last name is Wong.
But all you need to know are these two legs.
I have been undefeated all through the North.
Today I've come to challenge your Tai Chi Fists!
I have already decided to retire from the world of martial arts.
If you insist on a challenge,
then I will concede to a loss.
Father! Don't be a coward! Fight him!
I have long heard that Yang's Tai Chi Fist is smooth to the bone.
From the looks of it now, not only are your fists boneless,
but you're gutless!
So you don't want to fight me?
I'll kick you until you do!
From the kung fu novels I've read,
kung fu masters often fight with their words and not their fists.
That is the highest level of martial arts.
Why don't we give it a try. What do you say?
Fighting with words? How?
It's simple. You just tell us your stance,
describe your attack and how you will counter your enemy's moves.
This will determine the winner.
Fighting by speech. Are you up to it?
You are my guest. You go first.
Fine. Black Tiger Steals The Heart.
I'll counter with Stomping Fists.
I'll rotate my right fist and go for your wrist!
I'll then draw my right fist and attack with Shaolin Palm.
I'll counter with Stomping Fist.
I retrieve my palms and counter with continuous punches!
I'm still using Stomping Fists.
Stomping Fists again? Do you have anything else?
Uncle Yang is only using Stomping Fists. Can he win?
What do you know? Just watch and you'll learn something.
All right. I'll give you a chance to see my leg work.
Sun and Moon Roundabout Sweep.
Front sweep, back sweep, right sweep, left sweep.
Father, use King Kong Backward Punch.
Backward throw! Counter attack!
Fine. I'll keep kicking... kick... kick...
Stop!
Why?
- You have already lost. - What are you talking about?
What does a woman know?
I've been his wife all these years.
Of course I know which one of his moves is a winner.
Madam Yang is an expert indeed!
Mister, it was his backward throw kicking right and left.
He tripped you off your feet before you even lifted your legs.
- Get lost! - May God bless you.
I don't have time to argue with you.
Let's fight a real fight with our fists!
Wild Wind Stance.
White Monkey Stance.
Good leg work!
You are indeed the Great Kick of the North.
I've lost.
Stop stalling! Today, either you break your arms or I break my legs.
We must decide on a winner!
We are both masters of martial arts. Why do you insist so?
Not only do I insist, I'll kick you until you cry for mercy!
Father, be careful!
Wild Horse Stance.
Unrelenting lron Sweep.
Criss Cross Hands.
Good!
I am sorry. I've overdone it.
Yang, I have lost.
But you haven't seen the last of me yet!
Pre-destiny and life...
Practice of character...
Must be followed strictly or it goes against the rule.
Dragon and the Hidden Tiger Fist.
There is a waterfall on the shore..
Hey, are you thinking about girls again?
A gentleman loves a lady.
Hawk-man, what are you reciting?
Recite "Higher Learnings" for me.
Yes, Father.
The road to higher learnings is practicing good deeds.
Be close to your fellow men and treat each with kindness.
Know when to stop...
Why have you come here instead of seeing your patients?
A father must teach his son...
Enough already!
You've retired and moved to Hangzhou.
Now instead, you lock up your son and nephew in the study
and treat them like prisoners.
It hurts me to see them like this.
There is always a beginning and an end to everything.
Hurry up and read!
Otherwise, I'll jab your butt!
Mother! The road to higher learnings...
Stop that! Your mother can't save you.
It hurts me too!
But I still have to be tough.
Once I let loose of this monkey, it will be hard to chase him back!
You worry so much.
You should never have asked me for a son!
Enough now. Many patients are waiting for you. Go see them.
Take this.
A kind mother spoils her son. Do you understand?
Yes. I know.
It's mother.
We're free!
Be careful!
Come down!
The road to higher learnings is...
You can stop pretending now. Are you hungry?
Loosen your braid.
Have some dim sum.
- Mother, you are the greatest! - Why?
You saved us.
Kung fu books? Why are you reading this?
Mother, these books are very important to me.
They're just different from Father's.
If your father sees them, he'll surely burn them! Put them away.
Mother, I have a question.
Yes?
Do you think
father is loosing his mind?
How can you say that about your father? You disrespectful son!
You don't think so?
He ties my braid to the ceiling and jabs my butt.
I ache from top to bottom and...
And, cousin Hawk-man..
he's been thinking about girls!
Thinking about girls?
You're really taking the lion out?
Don't you want to go see the outside world?
If Uncle Yang finds out, we'll be in big trouble.
If father finds out, I'll take the rap.
Worse comes to worst, my butt will take the beating. Then...
Let me tell you. In this world, there are three kinds of people.
Which three kinds?
One kind only talks but does nothing. That's the worst kind.
The second kind talks while doing.
What's the last kind?
They're like us.
- How? - The best kind.
We do before we talk.
Good!
Officer Lam, what do you think?
Not bad. Officer Tsao, what do you think? Quite good.
It's getting better each year.
Yes, Officer Tsao.
Look, that guy looks so silly!
Wow, it's an angel!
Hey, what's the matter? Let's go!
I just saw a beautiful girl!
She's just perfect!
She's definitely one of a kind!
Yeung-wan?
Yeung-wan.
It's you. Look, isn't this lion cute?
When did you get back?
You should have asked me to pick you up.
I came back with some classmates.
It's so crowded here. Let's go sit on the platform. Your father is here too.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
What are you still looking at? She's gone?
Daddy.
You've come! Take a seat. This is great!
The time has come to present our offerings to the Dragon Emperor.
What are they doing?
It is the custom of this village to make offerings to the Dragon Emperor
so he will bring us peace and a good harvest.
Present the offerings now.
Lower the virgin boy and girl into the river for the Dragon Emperor.
Let me go!
Stop right there!
This is murder! How can you drown these children in the river?
Miss, you're ruining the ceremony! That's a big sin!
Send the offerings.
Stop!
Yeung-wan!
Take your hands off!
They've ruined the ceremony. Don't let them go! Get them!
Don't touch her!
Get the guy who wrecked the ceremony.
Beat him up!
Aren't you going to help?
An angry crowd is impossible to control.
Daddy, can't you stop them?
It's the will of the heavens. I've really spoiled you.
- These people are so ignorant. - They are despicable and pitiful!
Only we who have studied abroad can educate and save them!
Right.
What do we do?
Let's fight them with the kung fu we learned secretly.
Stop! Stop fighting!
It's raining!
The Dragon Emperor is pissing!
He's showing his powers now!
Heaven, if you had to piss, why didn't you piss sooner?
Hey, can you walk?
Yes!
Then let's go.
Where are we going?
- Don't you want to go home? - Home! Yes, home!
I'll walk you home.
You... You'll walk me home?
May l?
Sure! Sure! Of course!
You were so brave. You saved the two children.
Confucius said, "One must save others by all means."
What?
I meant I was just doing what I was supposed to do.
Hawk-man, be careful. Don't get the lion wet!
Your name is Hawk-man?
- How about you? - Rose.
"Lo-she"?
Is this lion very important to you?
It is a family treasure.
Come. Put it under the umbrella too.
Son of a gun! Meets a girl on his first time out.
This is Lung-Chan Village. You're home.
It's still a little ways ahead.
It is? Then let's walk.
Hawk-man, we're home.
If you go any further, you'll be on Courtship Road!
Yeah... we're here.
The rain has stopped. I'd better go. Thanks.
No. I have to thank you instead.
"Lo-she," can we see each other again?
Sure.
Bye.
Where do you live? How do I find you?
I live by West Lake.
Bye.
Uncle.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh no, big trouble.
Bye.
Bye.
So pretty! Sung, isn't she pretty?
You'd better not tell!
Take a look at yourself! What is wrong with you?
I've told you again and again to study hard.
Don't go outside and get into trouble! You just don't listen!
Mother!
Even your mother can't save you this time!
Look at the lion! You have all but completely destroyed it!
Is this a sea lion or a mud lion?
Oh, son. You've ruined your father's family treasure.
Apologize to your father at once
and then go back inside to study.
I didn't do anything wrong.
It's not my fault. It's...
It's not my fault either.
Not your fault? Then whose fault is it?
My fault?
Yes, it's yours!
You've locked me up like a prisoner for over 10 years.
Don't you think you've gone too far?
I've gone too far? You tell me.
Why did I retire and retreat from the world of martial arts?
Why did I leave my home and come here to live in seclusion?
For whom did I do all these things?
Fine. I'd rather beat you to death myself...
than to let you be killed by strangers.
I'll beat you...
I haven't done anything wrong!
Have you lost your mind?
Did you have to hit him on the face?
You want him disfigured...
so he will never be able to marry?
What are you trying to do?
Have you gone mad?
Your father only talks tough. He really does love you.
I know. I just don't want to be locked up in the study...
facing nothing but four walls and a stack of books all the time.
I know nothing of the world outside.
Who was that girl who walked you home earlier?
Her name is "Lo-she."
"Lo-she"?
You mean Rose?
Yes, it's a western name.
In Chinese, that is the name of a flower.
Rose. What a nice name.
She is Chinese. Why does she give herself a foreign name?
Those who study abroad usually have a foreign name.
Your mother used to have one too. It's Diana.
"Di-wan-na"?
No. It's Di-an-a.
It sounds good. Can you give me a foreign name too?
How about Jackie?
Jackie?
What does Jackie mean?
There's no special meaning to it.
When I was in the Bronx,
I used to admire a hero.
His name was Jackie.
Rose also called me a hero.
All right. Jackie it is.
She called you a hero? Then you have a chance!
Rose is both intelligent and pretty.
Listen, if she is a rat,
then you must be a cat that catches the rat!
- How? - Remember.
To woo such westernized girls,
you must always remember to act like a hero.
When you are with her, say "yes" often.
Yes?
Yes!
Mother wants me to be a rat-catching cat.
I'm going to catch her.
The West Lake area is so big! You didn't even ask her where she lives?
Where do we go to catch the rat?
West Lake is so beautiful, even the girls are nicer looking.
Look. The rat is right there!
She threw me a love letter!
"We demand democracy! Let science save our country!"
What does that mean?
I don't know.
"Lo-she." Wait for me.
Rose... I'm here.
Hawk-man. I've been looking for you.
- How did you know I was here? - My heart told me.
Rose, I have an English name too.
You can call me Jackie from now on.
Jackie.
Okay, I'll call you Jackie.
Yes!
- We're even more in tune now. - Yes!
Why do you always say yes?
You say yes, so I say yes.
Okay, then why don't you help us pass out these flyers?
- Yes! - Don't keep saying "yes."
We have to get home.
I still have a rat to catch. Go home and take care of my father for me.
Jackie!
Yes!
Democracy saves our country!
Anyone wants democracy? Anyone wants science? It's free!
It's all free!
- What is this? - This is a flyer.
What's a flyer?
We write what we want to say on paper for you to read.
I can't read.
I'll read it to you.
We want to save our country with democracy..
Right, you want rice to make porridge.
I want your feces to fertilize the fields.
We'll give feces, but you need scientific fertilization.
Right.
Give way.
Let's get out of here! It's the death penalty if we get caught!
Death penalty for saving the country?
Get out of here!
Come on.
Rose, there are Ching soldiers. Run.
Where is Jackie?
He didn't run fast enough. He might have gotten caught.
How could you leave him behind?
Give way.
Give way!
Get him!
Freeze!
Be careful! Watch out for my shit...
Oh... It's all gone!
Jackie, are you all right?
I'm okay.
Hurry and run!
Run. I'll deal with this.
Don't worry. Let me handle this man.
Yes.
Yeung-wan.
What are you doing here?
To arrest rebels.
Who is this? He looks awfully familiar.
He is my good friend.
Yes.
Don't speak English in front of me.
- Do you know who I am? - Who?
- I am her fiancÚ. - FiancÚ?
I'm warning you.
Don't let me see you with my fiancÚ again.
Wing, I have the freedom to make friends.
Jackie, don't mind him. Let's go.
Officer, the girl was passing out propaganda. She must be a rebel!
She's Officer Tsao's daughter! Not a rebel!
We grew up together.
My parents arranged our marriage even before I was born.
Arranged marriage?
I thought you were opposed to this kind of marriage.
I am, but if we share the same ideas and goals in life,
I might still marry him.
What if you don't?
Then I will...
Say no.
Say no?
Here is the place where I teach and meet with my classmates.
Good-bye.
The size of England is so small and China is so big.
Yet as soon as the English threatened to fight,
the Ching Government was so frightened, they gave Hong Kong up immediately.
If this continues, then maybe Shenzhen, Guangzhou
or even Hangzhou will become colonies of England!
Yes, you are exactly right.
What are you doing here?
I...
I brought him here.
This is where we discuss serious business.
How can you bring in an outsider?
I trust him.
And I want him to join us in our efforts to save the country.
- I want to join very much. - You want to join us?
Then you must cut off the braid on your head first.
Cut my braid? Why?
Every club has its rules, and that's just one of our initiation rules.
You all have braids!
We...
This is a national shame! We have to cut it.
No, I cannot cut mine.
Are you afraid of execution?
Of course I'm afraid of execution, but I'm even more afraid of my father.
We may be beheaded; our blood may flow,
but we're not afraid of even the Emperor or the Empress Dowager.
And you're afraid of your father?
- Are you going to cut or not? - No.
Actually, cutting the braid is only symbolic.
A great man once said:
To save the country, we must wake up the masses and expel the foreigners.
Right, right. This theory is so right.
Brownnoser!
- Do you even understand? - Yes.
I don't really understand.
Why isn't he back yet?
Have you seen all your patients already?
Hawk-man, do you understand or not?
Understanding is not understanding. Understanding is understanding.
Not understanding is misunderstanding.
You open this door now. Do you hear me?
He's totally confused.
I just checked on Hawk-man.
He... he stayed up studying all night. Now he has the flu.
Flu?
Better not let it turn into pneumonia.
So don't go in there to bother him.
Go get him his medication instead. Hurry!
I'm on my way now.
- Stop reciting. Where is he? - I don't know.
Mother.
What took you so long? You almost got me into trouble.
You've been gone for over half a day! Now tell me.
Any progress on your rat-catching?
Not really.
Oh, Mother.
What does "say no" mean?
That means rejection.
Why? Did Rose say no to you?
No. Mother, can you teach me English?
What brought this on all of a sudden?
Rose and her classmates are always speaking English.
And I don't understand a word of it.
Now I realize how big the outside world is,
and there is so much to learn!
That's right. There is no end to learning.
You want to learn English? No problem. You can count on your mother.
He is my father.
He is my "flour."
Repeat after me. He is my father.
He is my father.
Hmm... passed.
She is my mother.
She is my "mudda."
Mother, I'm not so bad, right?
No, you're not so bad.
You're REALLY bad!
Son, I didn't scare you, did l?
You're worse than Father!
I have to if you really want to catch the rat.
Do you understand, son?
I understand, Mother.
But don't just teach me "she is my mudda."
What would you like to learn?
Teach me how to say "ngo oi nay" in English.
That's my boy.
"Ngo oi nay" is... I love you.
I love you...
Rose.
Mother, was I right?
Right. Right.
I hope you don't completely forget about your mother when you have a wife.
An empty room is lighted only by an opium pipe.
Two shoulders hunched back in a corner.
He does not know when his next meal will come.
His clothes for all seasons have long been sold.
Hurry up. Move!
Faster. Faster!
Little girl, don't make so much noise here.
Why don't you make noise in my bed instead!
What are you doing?
Roundabout Lotus.
Palm in the Face.
Great, Jackie!
Good as Sealed.
Wild Horse Stance.
Yang's Tai Chi?
Jackie, watch out!
That's amazing!
No wonder he didn't want to cut off his braid!
Yes.
What are you afraid of?
Opium!
Get lost!
Get lost!
What's going on? What's all the commotion?
Arrest all the troublemakers!
Daddy, the tea leaf boxes are full of opium!
Opium?
Move!
Move!
Jackie, are you all right?
I'm fine. What's going on?
You've just earned a medal of merit.
You have uncovered the foreigners' conspiracy.
Me?
I heard there was a commotion at the pier. I am here to secure the area.
You may leave now.
I am the Customs Officer.
Someone is trying to smuggle opium here.
I cannot just walk away.
I am afraid this is over your head.
The Great Britain West lndian Company is behind my boss.
Can you afford to mess with them?
Wise up.
Just go home and pretend you saw nothing.
I will take care of everything here.
Many eyes are on us. We have to do the right thing.
Move the tea leaves into the warehouse.
What are you going to do?
Burn the opium!
Burn the opium!
Good.
Daddy, good job!
Let's go!
The opium was taken away by the Customs Officer right from your hands.
You'd better get them back for me.
Don't say I haven't warned you.
Mr. Smith, if you must, you should blame your two goons.
They started the trouble at the pier.
Troublemakers were those on the pier calling for people to quit opium.
They were obviously against me.
You should have them all arrested.
How dare you threaten an official! I will have you arrested!
Arrest me? Even your Empress Dowager bows before us Englishmen!
A martial arts scholar like you means nothing.
Let me tell you. You are standing on Chinese soil.
Your arrogance and illegal dealings will not be tolerated.
Follow me to the court!
Mr. Smith, I will take care of the opium business. Good day.
Brother Wing, let's go.
Brother Wing, let's go!
What are you all doing?
Master, please allow your students to bow before you.
I am not good enough to be your teacher!
I have not studied abroad, and I didn't cut my braid.
It was a good thing you didn't cut off your braid.
Please teach us your Braid Stance.
So we no longer need to worry when we're walking in the dark.
And we no longer need to run for our lives when passing out flyers.
But... all your braids are fake!
I'm afraid learning the Braid Stance is impossible.
It's all your fault. You told us to cut our braids!
Master, our braids are real. You can teach us.
All right.
But learning the Braid Stance is not easy!
What do we have to do?
I have put in over 10 years of hard work and serious studying.
We will too!
Master, we will work hard too!
Good. Then let's get started.
"The sutra of three words.
Create new ideas.
Learn scientific knowledge."
If you don't study hard, you won't be able to learn the Braid Stance.
"Uncover the truth.
Not afraid of sufferings."
I didn't know you are so good with children.
Did you really learn the Braid Stance this way?
Yes.
Actually, I should really thank my father.
Stick in hand, he pushed me to study hard since I was very young.
He's made me what I am today.
Do you have a good relationship with your father?
Not at all. We rarely talk.
But he really sacrificed a lot for me.
I am very grateful to him.
My dad is good to me too, except we have a generation gap.
I hate it when he smokes opium, but he can't quit.
My father was best at helping people quit opium.
Do you know how?
Sure, it's not that hard.
Daddy, Jackie has come to visit you.
Uncle Tsao.
Rose, you're good at choosing boyfriends.
Daddy, what are you talking about?
I brought Jackie here to treat you.
Treat me of what? I'm not sick. See how strong I am!
This is your sickness.
Give that back to me.
You call this sick?
Take one puff and you're in seventh heaven.
That kind of pleasure you simply don't understand.
Jackie.
Let me show you what pleasure is.
Once you give it a try, you will not want to let go. It's wonderful!
No, thank you.
I go here, you go here. I go there, you go there.
Follow me.
Come on. Over here, over there.
Jackie, be careful! Don't hurt my father.
Don't worry. He'll be fine.
What kind of kung fu is this, Jackie?
My hand is stuck to you.
This is Tai Chi's Gluey Stance.
Once I'm glued on to you, you can't shake me off.
I can't believe you've learned this at your age.
Please have a seat.
Uncle Tsao, please pardon me.
If you learn this kung fu,
you will have a long and happy life.
Now, relax. Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Relax.
That's right. Close your eyes.
That's right.
What are you doing?
What kind of kung fu is this now?
This is Jackie's family's exclusive Quit Smoking Stance.
What? You're trying to make me quit smoking opium again?
Uncle Tsao, Rose only wants what's good for you.
Opium is harmful, and once you're addicted to it,
you'll really go to heaven!
That's right, Daddy. Opium is even prohibited in England.
They sell them in China to poison our people.
As a prohibition officer, you should set an example for others.
Don't you understand?
It's easier said than done.
Ever since your mother passed away,
I only have you and my pipe left.
You're not always by my side. Without my pipe,
I really don't know how to make it through the days.
Fine. If you need the pipe,
then you don't need me. It's your call.
If you choose the pipe, then I'll go back to America.
Stay where you are! Where are you going?
Back to America. I'm never coming back.
You come back here!
Of course, I'll choose you.
For this daughter of mine, I've already tried to quit so many times.
Are you sure this works?
Sure. It works every time. Don't worry.
Then how long do I have to be tied up?
That depends. It could be as little as three to five days,
or as long as three to five years.
Three to five years? Then...
Daddy, are you going back on your word?
No... no.
I was just thinking, if this really works,
maybe Jackie should work on my soldiers too.
Good idea!
Jackie will discipline and reform your armed forces. Okay?
Yeah.
Jackie, let's go.
Okay.
Gather your strength like the bow. Then release your punch like an arrow.
Look at yourselves. How can you protect your country like this?
Miss, you're only watching. You have no idea how difficult it is.
I know you're going through withdrawal.
Look at you. You can't even hold up your opium pipe now!
When we practiced with Officer Tsao, he would usually take a few puffs with us.
If you let us take a couple of puffs,
I guarantee you we'll be as fierce as tigers.
Shut up!
Jackie, take care of them.
Listen, Officer Tsao has brought me in to treat you.
If you're smart, drop your opium pipes.
Otherwise, Officer Tsao will be your good example.
Yeung-wan.
Why have you come here?
What is he doing here?
Daddy invited him here.
Rebel.
For Yeung-wan's sake, I let you go last time.
Now here you are again, trying to swindle your way through.
Mr. Lam, I have been to school too.
I don't think I could live up to the word "swindle".
Pardon me.
What are you doing?
Nothing. I was just testing him.
You got some nerve.
Let's go over there.
Fine. Keep it up, Jackie.
What are you looking at?
Why are you here?
Have you forgotten?
What is it?
It's my birthday in two days.
Really!
I'm throwing a party.
I hope you can come.
Sure. I'll be there.
Yeung-wan. Let's have a seat.
You always keep company with those poor classmates of yours.
And carry on about saving the country with democracy and science.
Do you know you can be beheaded for this?
I know.
We don't share the same beliefs and goals anymore.
- It just doesn't feel right. - Not right?
You're saying you don't feel right with me anymore,
but you feel it's right with him!
What are you talking about?
You've completely changed.
You bury your conscience.
You and your brother
conspire with the foreigners to smuggle opium.
Don't put my brother and I together.
I have nothing to do with his opium smuggling.
I only want to get ahead and make my ancestors proud.
I want you to be able to enjoy wealth and comfort. It's all for you.
Don't talk anymore. If you keep it up,
I don't think I'd even want to come to your party anymore!
All right. I'll let you cool off.
I hope to see your happy face at the party.
Rose, what is it?
Nothing.
Did I cause a fight between the two of you?
No.
Do you know how to dance?
Sure. I know the Chinese tea dance.
Not tea dance. It's tango!
Tango? Never heard of it.
Maybe you can show me?
Okay.
I'm back!
You're early.
Frying fish, Mother?
Look at you. You're all smiles.
Did you catch the rat?
Rose took me to her house.
She even asked me to be her partner at a party!
That's good news. I'll be a grandmother soon!
Mother, you're way ahead of me.
Rose wants me to "tango," but I have no idea what it is!
You're in luck.
Your mother will teach you everything.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Son, did you watch closely?
Mother, please teach me.
Come on. I'll show you.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Did I step on you?
I'm fine. One more. Again.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Turn, turn, turn.
Mother, let's stop.
Why?
You're going to hurt yourself.
I'm fine. If you step on me again,
I won't make a sound. Come on. Again.
Turn. Hold my hand.
Good.
Slow. Ouch.
Slow.
Slow.
I'm sorry. Did I do it again?
Ouch. Watch it, okay?
What are you complaining about now? You asked for it.
You just know how to pour salt on wounds.
Me? Do you think your son would be as good to you?
That's true. You are good to me. Now massage here.
That feels good!
I know.
There's something I don't want to keep from you.
Today, your son was in a fight with the bodyguards of a foreigner.
Fight? Did they break his arms and legs?
That you don't have to worry.
Let me tell you.
It was one against many, and he defeated the foreigner's bodyguards.
He even uncovered the foreigner's conspiracy to smuggle opium
and became a hero in Hangzhou.
What?
He fought with the foreigner's bodyguards and came back in one piece?
How did he do it?
Who is it?
What are you doing here?
You don't even recognize your old man?
Great Kick of the North? You were defeated by my father.
Are you too embarrassed to show your face?
You have no manners. Let me teach you a lesson.
You come down.
You come up.
You don't want to come down?
Are you planning on spending the rest of your life up there?
I'm coming down. I'm coming.
I've changed my mind now.
If you're so good, why don't you come up?
What are you looking at? Make your move.
Can't hit my own son.
Why did you stop?
You think you can get around with your kung fu?
I didn't know that besides your dog's kick,
you also have a pig's claw!
Little bastard, watch your tongue!
Your parents didn't teach you any manners!
Stomping Fists.
Grounding Punch.
Continuous Punches.
Kid, let me teach you.
White Snake Stance.
Rolling Stance.
Phoenix Stance.
White Crane Stance.
Under Punch.
Darn. I overdid it.
How do you know Tai Chi Fists?
You are so ignorant.
Your father is not the only one who knows Tai Chi Fists.
Where did you learn your Mantis Fists?
I taught myself from books!
Then let me show you the real Mantis Stance.
Oh, my antiques! That's 50 taels of silver!
You prodigal son.
Let me teach you a lesson.
Lucky it's not broken.
Oh, there goes another 50 taels!
Prodigal son, let me knock some sense into you!
Dragon Tail Stance.
Son hits father?
How did you like that?
Whipping Stance.
Father?
So what if you are!
What's with you today? It's getting late.
Get up for breakfast even if you don't want to practice Tai Chi.
What happened to your face?
I have a toothache.
Let me take a look.
That's not a toothache. It looks more like a chain rash.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Chain rash grows on the waist, not on the face. I said it's a toothache.
All right. It's a toothache.
Let me get you some medicine then.
Wait! Who said I wanted medicine?
Don't try to be smart.
You're wasting my time.
Good morning, Mother.
Mother, what's wrong with Father?
He said he has a really bad toothache.
Why are you just standing there?
He's your father. Go see how he is.
Father, I've come to see you.
A toothache is nothing to see.
Go back to study!
What is wrong with you today?
Don't worry, Mother. I think Father can stand a little pain.
I did it to him last night.
- Really? - Yes.
What's up?
- Rose invited me to a party tonight. - Party.
I would like Mother to be my image consultant.
Sure. No problem.
Father, I'm leaving.
Hey, hey.
Remember, don't step on Rose's foot.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.
I know, I know.
Slow, slow... quick, quick.
Little bastard, you stay right there!
Don't get in my way! I have a rat to catch.
What is your relationship with Yang?
Tell me!
It's you. The Great Limp? Not limping anymore?
Feeling itchy? Want to get beat up again?
Little bastard, you watch your mouth!
You're for real?
Whirl Kicks!
Unrelenting Scissors Kick!
Butterfly Stance.
What's all the commotion out here?
You don't have a toothache anymore? Now your neck?
Great Kick of the North?
No need to worry. Just watch.
Snow Stepping Stance.
Flying Flowers Stance.
Wonder Stance.
Whirl Kicks.
What kind of kung fu is that? You tricked me!
Trick or no trick, as long as I got you, it's good kung fu.
Mysterious Stance.
Good! Good choice.
You should know your son's kung fu well.
You've messed up my party clothes!
Counter Whirl Kick.
Scissors Kick.
Unrelenting Scissors Kick.
Hey, how do you know my kicks?
I just learned it from you.
Little bastard, you've won.
Master, you let me win.
I know I've lost.
You don't have to be modest. Prententious.
Yes. Yes.
Don't be too happy.
I will continue to train, and I will come back for you.
Master, you will still keep training? How old are you now?
Silly. I'm still a virgin!
He's really good!
He said he would come back and challenge us again.
Looks like we need to move again.
Hey, what are you trying to say?
Son, hurry up and go catch the rat!
Officer Lam, congratulations!
Make yourselves at home.
Yeung-wan.
Congratulations. Happy birthday.
Congratulations. Many happy returns.
Why is he here?
I invited him.
Follow me.
My dear guests, welcome to my birthday party.
I have a birthday wish.
I wish that the one I love will come back to me.
Enjoy your evening.
Tango?
Why don't you ask me to dance?
Dance? You know I don't know how to dance.
Then why...
Yeung-wan, this party is for you.
I've invited many great dancers to dance with you.
That's good.
Enjoy yourself.
Rose, tango?
Sorry.
Brother Wing, you never drink. What's wrong?
I'm very happy.
Give me the whole bottle.
Drinking and dancing?
I want my goods back!
Today is my birthday.
How dare you come here. Leave!
Mr. Smith, it's my brother's birthday. Please...
If I don't get back my goods,
you will be celebrating your death instead of your birth!
So watch your asses!
Boss.
Those were the two on the pier the other day.
Why are they here?
Get them!
What are you doing?
She's my fiancÚ.
Oh, so you're all family.
And you're working together to steal my goods!
Let's go!
Mr. Smith...
What kind of tango is this?
I made it up myself. Yang's tango!
Bravo.
Yang's tango.
Great.
Wing.
Lam Wing?
Yang, I want to have a duel with you.
What's wrong with you?
I have nothing against you. Why should I fight you?
I want to fight it out. The winner will get her.
The loser will disappear from here.
What? You think I'm a prize?
That's right. She is not a prize.
I won't fight.
Then stop acting like Romeo!
Wing, please be rational.
Even if you were to win, what would that prove?
You're asking me? You are my fiancÚ!
Jackie, go ahead and fight with him. You must win!
Yes. If I lose, I won't be able to face my mother!
Come on!
Are you all right?
You belong to me!
Don't fight if you can't manage.
Don't worry. I won't let my mother down.
Just show me all you've got!
I must defeat you. I won't lose!
I must defeat you today.
Still want to fight?
Wing, are you all right?
I've lost. You may go.
Go!
Let's go.
You've lost the girl to another man.
Let us send you to heaven and you can wait for her there.
Take him to Lam Tung in the Governor's Mansion.
Just say Jackie killed him because of the girl.
Then we will be able to create a feud between the Lam and Tsao families.
Good idea. I'll take care of it.
I'll wait for your good news.
What is it? You're not happy?
You have no smile on your face either.
Do you always have to follow me?
I can follow you too.
Really?
Rose, I love you.
Did I say something wrong?
You fool.
Yes, I am the biggest fool!
I'll go home to talk to my mother. She'll talk to my father.
Then my father will talk to your father.
Then ask my Dad to marry you!
This is between the two of us.
This is tradition.
Officer Tsao.
Welcome.
- Auntie. - Rose.
You look so beautiful today.
Thank you.
I haven't worn this old rag for over 20 years!
I brought it out yesterday. Hope I didn't embarrass myself!
You are too humble.
This is the latest fashion in America.
You are so kind!
Mr. Yang.
What do you think of this marriage between Rose and Jackie?
Who's Rose and Jackie?
Is their marriage any of my business?
Father, I'm Jackie!
You? You are Jackie?
Rose, you're going to America for your honeymoon?
That's great! Jackie's father and I will go with you.
A second honeymoon!
Oh, that would be wonderful!
My daughter is idealistic and kindhearted.
But just a little bit spoiled.
Daddy!
See?
Your Jackie is completely different.
He is well-educated and well-mannered. He must have come from a good family.
You flatter me.
Uncle Tsao, it was really all my father's hard work.
Yes. Yes.
Mr. Tsao, you're too kind.
Mr. Yang, you're too modest.
Daddy, actually,
it was Auntie who did the most.
Oh, no, it was all my husband's doing.
No, no.
Mr. Tsao was able to quit smoking opium. I admire your determination.
Thank you.
It looks to me that they are a perfect match.
So we've agreed on Jackie and Rose's wedding then.
It's a deal.
It's a deal!
Right.
Mommy.
Good girl.
Secure the whole place. Allow no one to leave.
Officer Lam, why did you bring your troops to my home?
What is going on?
What's going on? Ask your precious daughter!
And him too!
The two of them murdered my brother!
What? They murdered someone?
We didn't kill anyone!
Officer Lam, how can you come up with such a ridiculous accusation?
Accusation?
Wing was your fiancÚ. How could you murder him with your lover?
I must avenge my brother's death.
Will you come with me voluntarily, or will I have to arrest you?
Father, Mother, you don't have to worry.
I will go with them to clear everything up.
Take care of yourselves.
Stop! Come back!
Officer Lam, this son of mine may not be perfect,
but I don't think he is capable of murder.
You... You're still trying to protect your son?
Arrest everyone for me.
I retired from martial arts for my son ten years ago.
Now, for him, I will come out of retirement.
Hawk-man, you all go!
Father, we'll fight them together, father and son.
You dare resist arrest? Kill them all!
What are you still doing here?
Be careful.
Old man, are you all right?
Why are you still here?
I married you for better or for worse. I'm now staying for worse!
Good wife!
Dear, let's go.
- What are you all doing? - Rose, you've come at the right time.
We saw Smith kill Lam Wing. He was going to frame you two for murder.
What are you making?
Bombs. To take care of Smith!
We found out he's going to steal the smuggled opium tonight!
Where?
Jackie, behind you!
Go to the Customs Office warehouse and get my opium back!
Get the opium!
Chan, how are you?
I'm cold.
Chan!
You are lucky, but I won't miss in my next shot.
You come here to rob and kill.
- You will not get away with this! - So what are you going to do?
You're the real murderer! You disgusting scum!
You who killed Lam Wing!
Now I'm sending you to see him.
White devil, using foreign secret weapons to kill is despicable!
I'll take your life!
This stance again? I know it too!
Come, let me play with you.
Kid, this guy has a very strong kick. Be extra careful.
Strong? I'll stomp till they are weak!
Good boy. I'll grant you number one in the world!
What kind of kung fu is that?
It's my Braid Stance created especially for bad guys like you!
Pretty powerful, eh?
From under the arm.
From between the legs.
I'll kick you to hell!
The Flying Stance.
Dumb ox, you'd better come with me to turn yourself in.
I'm going to kill you today!
Come on.
Dumb ox, if you don't surrender,
after I'm through with you, even your own mother won't recognize you!
I go for your big fat nose!
Play with me on the rope? You'll be sorry!
Now I go for your ugly face!
Are you awake?
Single lncense Stance.
Still hanging in there?
Sweeping Army Stance.
Are you all right?
I am fine.
Is he dead?
If not, he's close to it.
Get away!
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
What is this? Foreign weapon?
Careful! The gun may misfire.
Stay away!
I said I would teach you a lesson.
Everyone freeze!
Your brother's murderer is over there.
Get him!
HE'S the murderer!
You're the real one who killed my brother!
Don't move! I am a citizen of Great Britain.
I am under the protection of the Queen.
Order your subordinates to drop their weapons!
Drop the guns now!
Despicable scum, he deserved to die.
Take him away!
Yes, sir!
By the way, I have to thank you for avenging my brother's death.
Let's go.
That's right. We still have a wedding to plan.
Whatever you say!
This is the happiest day of my life!
Honey!
TLF - The In-Laws
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