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Very Bad Things

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{y:b}Very Bad Things|http://www.robitm.3x.ro
woman: honey,|you sent in
all the deposit|checks, right?
man: yeah,|i think so.
what do you mean,|you think so?
i mean--what? i mean,|i sent a lot of checks.
i think|i sent them all.
the--the wedding|cake check?
sent it.
ok,|the photographer?|sent it.
ok, the hotel|for my parents?
sent it.|the band?
brought that one|to them, yeah.
ok?|yeah.
the tent and judge.|judge townsend.
uh, honey, the tent?|i don't know about that.
you forgot|the tent check?
i th--
why? why would--|why did you forget|the tent check?
why? i forgot.|i forgot.
you can't play around|with these tent people.
you can't. you can't|play around with them.
i know. i've been|dealing with them,
and believe me,|i'm not playing with them.
kyle...
i have been|doing all of this|by myself, ok?
i know.|i have been|busting my ass.
i have done absolutely|everything, everything,
everything, everything,|everything by myself.
i know.
ok, everything has|been on my own, ok?
ok, i've been|doing it all.
i bet|you didn't forget
the bachelor party|checks.
ok...is that what this--|is that what this is about?
no!
because we could|talk about it.|no!
let's go over it|again.|no, no, no.
no, it's ok.
no, i'm just saying|that i'm sure
that those checks|found their way|to the mailbox.
that's all.
i wouldn't know.
it amazes me, you know,|it really amazes me
how you and your|little fun bunch can|become so organized
when it comes to|mobilizing to vegas.
it's not--|it's not me doing it.
it's them|handling it all.
and i'm sure that boyd|is the creative force|behind all of this.
yeah, boyd--boyd's|organizing the whole thing.
robert boyd is a big|sack of hot gas.
[banging, phone ringing]
robert boyd.
tina...great, ok.|here's the deal--
we're talking 5 guys.
nice guys, tina.|my friends.
yeah. well,|i'm calling you directly
so you don't have|to go through the agency.
hey! could you please|not enter the house?
that's correct.|cash straight to you.
could you hold on?
could you please|wait off the property?
we're just trying|to sneak a peak.
well, just stay off|the property until|i'm off the phone.
why?
because that's the way|we do it.
chop, chop.
so, it's 5 guys,|900 bucks, just dancing.
anything else is extra.
are you in?
it's just how i feel.|i feel that, at some|point in time,
you're going to|have to reevaluate|some of your friendships.
well...ok.
specifically--|specifically who?
charles moore.
you don't like moore?
i just don't see him|in the big picture.
ok...but realize,
i've known him since|the third grade.
well, he's weird.
he's quiet.
he's weird.
hon, he just|doesn't talk a lot.
why? i mean,|is he mildly retarded?
he never speaks!|he's a mechanic.
well, he's weird, kyle,|and frankly, i really--
i--i expect more|from you.
yeah, ok, wh--|you expect more what?
you are going to be|hung over for 3 days,
like those guys|onoprahwho--|who get drunk
and have disgusting sex|with prostitutes,
and then they|go ahead, and they|just say their vows.
they say their vows|with the stench
of cheap hotel whore|sex all over them.
that's absurd.|listen to yourself.
it's vile, kyle.|it's not vile.
i've seen it|on television.|i'm not going to--
what do you mean|it's not vile?!
i'm not going|to marry you
with the cheap smell|of hotel whore sex--
i am not to be|common, kyle, ok?
i am a creature|like no other.
i know that.|i am a creature|like no other.
and i will not--i|willnot be common.
do you understand me?|i got you.
is that|too much to ask, kyle?|is it too much to ask?
you won't be common!
honey, take it.
are we going to eat,|or am i just going to--
honey...
do you love me?
of course i--|i love you.
of course i love you.
how much?
i love you|with all my heart.
kiss me.
man: look, it's just|insecurity.
kyle: i don't know.|she's just really|been stressing.
it's insecurity,|nut-gnawing|gut-splitters.
what does that mean?
it means|she's insecure.
about what?
about--|[telephone rings]
mike berkow.
just a second.|all right, big man.
14.3. thank you.|17.5.
4-6...29.83...
at 9.
look at him.
i'm amazed|that the windows
don't blow out of their|fucking sockets
with all|the ass-puckering rage
in these|soulless lizards.
you know, i just--|i just want her to be happy.
same alarm clock|every morning,
same two pops on|the same snooze button.
same shower,|towel, toothbrush,|razor, blazer,
hair pump, gel spray.|it's a fucking epi--
woman:|the beatrice accounts.
it's an epidemic,|fisher.
you're getting|married, baby bub.
i'm not going|to candy coat it.|it just gets worse.
it's an 18-wheel|cement truck
that's going|to crush every bone|in your big body.
well, i'm not breathing|right lately, either.
course you're not.
i--i just start getting,|like, lightheaded and dizzy,
and then the next|thing i know, i realize
i haven't breathed in,|like--in two minutes.|that's because--
hey, hey, hey--|we're leaving from|my house in 3 hours, ok?
if you want to come,|you better get your|numbers in order by then.
all right,|first of all--
no "first of all."|i'm not in a game mood, ok?
we were having|a conversation, ok?
you never said|"excuse me."
i'm sorry.|fisher, i'm sorry.
that's all right.|we'll be there, adam.
i know you'll be ready.|michael--3 hours.
ok. all right.
look at that big, blind,|gawky bitch boy.
well, he's your brother.
freaks me out, man.|you know that?
panic junky,|i want to smack him.
i don't|deserve that.
[telephone rings]|kyle fisher.
we've got problems.
problems?
seating problems.
ok, well, uh--
ok, first they said|it wasunderstood
that we were supposed|to have gold-trimmed,|padded seats, right?
and now they're|trying to tell me
that there's some sort|of misunderstanding
and that now we can't|have padded ones!
ok, so what kind of seats|can we have, then?
nonpadded ones!
so what do|we do about it?
well, you're going|to go down there.
go down to where?
you're going|to go down,
and you're going|to straighten out
those chair people.
what--honey, i'm going|to vegas in 3 hours.
i need your help!
i'll call|from the road.
do you love me?
do--more than i ever|imagined i could|ever love anyone.
straighten out|these chairs?
ok, listen, we're|leaving from adam's.
why don't you come down|and see me off?
maybe.
woman: timmy, adam junior,|take a good look at this
and notice how clean-cut
and well-behaved|they all appear,
respectable members|of modern society.
boyd: that's us.
ok, boys...smile.
boy: smile, dad.|smile.
smile!
hey.|smile...
smile, smile...
boyd:|we're smiling!|and all right.
as you were!
[all talking at once]
good-bye.|i love you.
i love you.
have a really,|really good time.
i'll be back tomorrow.
woman: no,|hey, hey, hey--
no, no, don't let|anybody smoke in the car|honey--
because adam junior|gets sick, ok?|ok, i'm--
did you hear that,|boyd? no smoking.|i'msoserious.
i'll drive.|come on.|not on your life.
[guys yelling]
boyd, do you|promise on camera|that you won't smoke?
uh...i won't smoke.
good. thank you.
i'm coming, honey!
bye, dad.
woman: don't smoke!
boyd: we won't smoke.
[horn honking]
bye!|bye!
bye!|bye! bye!
vegas!
all right...
dog needs|a flea bath.|let's go.
mike: oh, what if|i bring the wrong thing?
what if i bring|cucumber soup?
boyd: who cares!|you're a fucking moron!
shut up!|it's my|fucking opinion.
it's a stupid|fucking opinion, ok?
oh, thank you.
you have developed|this incredibly annoying|habit of talking just...
for the pleasure of|hearing yourself speak.
listen, he--boyd|brought up statistics--
hey, hey, hey!|leave me out of this.
the hell i did.
the hell you didn't.|you said--
the hell i did--
you said one out of|every two marriages|ends in divorce.
you said it.|boyd: i didn't--
you're an asshole,|adam.
you're an asshole.
oh, why am i|an asshole?
multiple reasons.
give me one.|no.
name one reason.|no!
give me one reason.|i'm not going|to give you--
you can't give me|a reason.|i don't have to--
give me one reason.|give it to me.
shut up!
i want one reason.
shut up|for one second.
give me a reason.|i want a reason.
shut up!|shut up!
you're just|an asshole.|live with it.
is this culver|party rentals?
yeah, can i speak|to whoever's in|charge of chairs?
can't you wait till|we get back there?
i'll pay you|for the call, ok?
i'm on a monthly|rate, here.
how am i going|to tell what call|is your call?
just use my phone.
hey, don't|be ridiculous.
no, you're being|ridiculous. you're|being a tightwad!
a tightwad, huh?|yeah!
why don't you just|say what you mean,|huh? jew! say it!
all right,|you're a jew!
yeah, "jew."|i knew it.|you're being a jew!
i knew it|was coming, you|goyisherfuck.
shut up! hello?
boyd:|cheap bastard!
i'd like to|speak to somebody|in chairs, please.
hola.|you drive like a jew!
ah, how does|a jew drive?
4 hours and 15 minutes.|i can make vegas in|3 and change...
i'm not getting|a ticket.
i'm not going to get|a ticket for you.
you slow-driving|son of a bitch!
kyle: yes?|is this--|let's go!
tony,|this is kyle fisher.
i have a wedding|in a week.
we have--you're|doing my wedding|with the chairs.
boyd: every car|is passing us.
yeah, i'll hold.
hold? you're|going to hold?
for chrissakes,|call him when|we get there.
you're being a jew!
please get off|the goddamn phone--
yes, i'm holding|for tony in chairs--
don't hold anymore!|hang up!
it's 45 cents|a minute!
no, i'm not tony.|i'm holding for tony.
[funky music playing]
[roulette wheel clicking]
[telephone ringing,|background noise]
hello?
kyle, funny voice:|hi.
hello?|hey!
is it--hello--|baby, is that you?
hi.
hi.
are you calling me|from jail?|not yet.
hey, did you check out|the chair situation?
what?|what about the chairs?
the chairs?|i made 3 calls--
what? 3 calls?
but i can't|stop thinking about|how much i love you.
well, you should.|well, i do.
what are you doing?
oh, just a bit|of organizing.
are you nesting?
yeah, i'm nesting.
go have some fun.
not too much, ok?
ok, i'm going|to go have fun|with my friends,
but not too much.
[sniffing]
[tv crowd cheering]
boyd: and you know|in your heart
that it is|just a matter of time--
all day, bullets flying,|babies are getting shot.
if i'm the king|of israel, right--
israel does not|have a king.
what the hell|do they have?
they have|a president--|president yahoo.
ok, i'd say to myself,|"yahoo"...
hee hee hee.
"take a look|at the map."|yeah?
"look what's|all around you.
"people who are wishing|horrible, bad, bad things
for you and your people."
[tv announcer shouting]
kyle: the buck's going|to stop right here, buddy.
not going to happen|with me.
my kid don't know the 6 fucking|new england states,
he has trouble|with geography,
i'm not going to stick that shit|in his face.
i'm going to help|the little guy, you know?
that's right.
put him in the car.
take him to maine|for the lobster dinner.
that's how you teach a kid.|go skiing in vermont.
that's it.|take him skiing!
or yankee stadium|for a hot dog.
that's the way.|you got to--
i'm just saying, it's not--|you don't stare him down.
no, don't|stare him down.
i'm not going|to do it!
do not...|eyeball your kids.
boyd:|that's my point exactly!
mike: what?|what is your point?
take mexico!
think about it.|the mexicans would love it.
they're dying for|a little order down there.
first of all,|you get what i'm saying.
you know exactly|what i'm saying.
[bong water bubbling]
let the israelis|work it out!
[tv blaring]
they kind of|all look alike!
the jews|and the mexicans!
so i think, on a whole,|your average joe mexican's
going to have less of a problem|getting his head around
the whole fucking|assimilation thing!|am i right?
yeah!
i mean, i tell mine--
i tell mine|they're little men.
i tell them|that they're strong,
that they|make me feel joy.
i let them know, man.|i mean, i really--
i really let them know|that they are just--
just as important.|they mean just as much.
you know|what i'm saying?|mm-hmm. yes.
just as much, man.|yes, yes.
and you're|their godfather.
i know,|and i'm honored.
no, no, no,|no, no.
no? i'm not.
no, no, you're|the godfather,
but i'm saying--|what i'm saying is,
if anything|ever happens to me--
oh, brother,|don't even--yeah.
don't worry about it.
becausethatis|the point here, ok?
that is what|i'm driving for.
because, man,|when the big storm comes
and all the forests|are knocked down
and all the rocks|have fallen away
and--and the leaves|are bare,
what's left?
what is left?
the little trees.
the little fellas|that the storm didn't see.
the tiny, little fellas.|that's where it's--
[clatter]
the stripper's here.
excellent.
gentlemen,
this...is tina.
hey, boys.
hi.
[loud dance music|playing]
fish!
she's all yours,|buddy.
anything|you want, man,|bought and paid.
whoo!
i can't do it.|i can't do it.
i'm sorry.|i'm sorry.
i'll take a ride.
[cheering]
i didn't jump|the gun, did i?
i feel the vibe.|i feel the vibe|a little bit.
i'm michael.
did i do|ok out there?
mike:|yeah, you kidding?
i'm just in vegas|gambling, spending money.
you're so beautiful.
did you win anything?
look at this.
not what|you thought, huh?
[all yelling]
woo! ha! ha!
woo!
man on tv:|got an awful big hit.
ok, you do know|it's 500 right?
yeah, over there,|no problem,
but yeah,|500 of my dollars?
right.
but i thought--|boyd didn't pay?
no, boyd didn't pay.|it's 500.
straight sex,|nothing kinky.
no, no, i'm not going|to use you as a hand puppet|or anything.
i just want to make|sweet love to you
because you have no idea|what you've gotten into.
oh, yeah!
man on tv: trying to|get his legs up,|so he can try to--
see, you didn't think|it would be like this,|did you?
you thought|i was some punk,|didn't you.
you thought i was|a little punk.
pumped up! pumped up!
[moaning and screaming]
good boy.
this isn't work,|is it? not work.
man on tv: look at|the jump he did,
sticking it in there.
take it!
take it!|take it!
[primal scream]
easy, baby.
aah!
[glass breaking]
[moaning]
cool. ha ha!
[all laughing]
you fucking maniac!
you...
[breathing heavily]
i fucked up.
[gasping and heavy breathing]
adam: oh, my god!
all: oh!
charles: jesus christ!
adam: don't touch her!|don't touch her!
call 9-1-1!
don't move.
we were playing.|we were playing.
i think she's dead.
how do you|know she's dead?
she's got no|fucking pulse!
listen, you don't|know what the hell|you're doing.
just get back.
all right,|where do you look?|what side of the neck?
left, left,|left side.
either side,|you idiot!
i'm calling 9-1-1.
mike: we were playing,|and she bumped her head.
bumped?! bumped?!
she's got|a fucking spike|in her head!
adam, wait!|what?
boyd:|what are you doing?
what do you think|you're doing?
i'm calling|the ambulance!
just wait one--|wait one second. ok?
michael? michael?
i'll take it out.
i can take it out.
what the fuck|have you done?!
why are you calling|an ambulance? she's dead.
i'm sorry. sorry.
oh, god, just call|the police.|no.
just call 9-1-1.
i slipped.
what did you do,|goddamn it?
nothing.
what the fuck did you do,|you little shit?!
charles:|get out of here!
all right, all right,|just calm down.
mike: it was|an accident!
boyd: everybody just|get a hold of themselves,|all right?
you are a lying deviant!
it was an accident!
are you sure--|yes, i'm sure!
what were you doing?
the floor was wet,|and so i slipped.
why was|the floor wet?!
i don't know.
why, goddamn it?!
why, you little|fucking pervert?!
boyd: come on, damn it,|take it easy.
you don't|fucking know!
calm down.
we're not helping|anything by losing|our temper.
boyd: let's just get|our heads together. ok?
whatever we associate|in our nervous system|determines our behavior.
you fucking guys.|you fucking guys.|you fucking guys.
kyle: you fucking guys!
boyd: now let's just|take a second here,
and take a hold|of the situation|and review our options.
we call the police!
ok, call the police,
that's good.|that's one option.
that is not an option!
this is not|multiple choice here.
yes, it is!
there are always|options, adam.
kyle:|you fucking guys!
boyd:|we can definitely|call the police.
that's an easy call.
now, if we|call the police,|what happens?
they come up here,
they find|a dead prostitute|in the bathroom,
and then they ask us|what happened.
what the hell|are you going to|tell them?
you had nothing|to do with it?
you didn't know|she was a prostitute?
i mean, that it was|all michael here?
your brother,|by the way.
you don't mess around|with a homicide...
what about|the alcohol,|narcotics...
don't tell me|there are no options.
there are always|fucking options.
what is the choice?|what options?
we can bury her|out in the desert.
oh, sure, why not?
charles: no, no,|he's right, he's right.
he's right.|he's right.
boyd: we could take|her up to red rock.
find some nice|quiet place
and just put her|in the ground.
we can do this.|we can get her|out of here.
have you lost|your fucking mind?
nobody knows|she's here.
i called her personally.|nobody knows.
her blood is|all over the bathroom.
don't you think we|got a little bit of|a dna problem here?
it's a marble floor.|we can clean it up.
they've got|us on accessory|to murder, adam.
it's not accessory, ok?|i didn't do shit.
that's not|the point, adam.
i mean, the room is|covered with blow,
moore looks like|he went at it with|a fucking mountain lion.
i mean, the room looks|like the manson family|stayed here a month.
this is a major|thin-ice situation|we got here.
i'm getting|married, guys.
adam: i have got a wife,|and i've got two boys, ok?|don't tell me.
let's just take|a vote, a simple vote.
we got two choices:
one, we clean up|this mess right now,
bury it out|in the desert,
go home,|and never look back.
or, we can easily|call the police,
roll the dice,|take our chances,
and pray to god|that it's only|michael who falls.
the choices are simple:|it's desert or police.
desert.
the fucking desert.
uh-uh.
fish,
i owe you, bro.|i owe you, man.
desert.
[sobs]
nobody knows|she's here.
oh, god...|oh, god.
[breathing heavily]
how do we get her|out of here?
[sighs]
we can wrap her up|in blankets,
bring the car|around to the back|of the hotel,
lower her gently down|off the balcony,
put her in the car.|we're done.
jesus christ,|have you done this before?
the reality is,|you take away the horror|of the situation,
take away the tragedy|of the death,
take away the moral|and ethical implications
of all the crap|that you've had|conditioned and beaten
into your head|since grade one,
what are we left with?
what?
it's|a 105-pound problem.
105 pounds that's|got to be moved from|point "a" to point "b."
now, a straight line is|the shortest distance|between two points,
but we're denied|the luxury of a visible|straight line,
but that line exists,|and i see it.
i see that line.
trust me.
adam, trust me.
[knock on door]
man: hotel security.|could you please|open the door?
oh, fuck.
[knock on door]
man: hello?|hotel security.
[whispering]|what do they want?
shit.
oh, fuck.
they know.
calm down.
man: hello?
adam:|goddamn it, they know!
tell them right now!
boyd: just keep|your voice down.
[all talking at once]
they have cameras|in the ceiling.
shut up!
boyd:|shh-shh.
we don't have time.|shut up. shut up.
shh.
he's gone.
boyd:|he's gone.
[door unlocks]
[door opens]
hello?
hotel security.
hi, how are you?
y'all didn't|hear me knocking?
no,|we heard you.
mmm, yeah. you guys|making a lot of|noise tonight.
what is it,|a toga party?
[chuckles]
it's a bachelor party.
well, y'all|going to have to|keep it down.
boyd:|well, we will. we will.|we absolutely will.
listen,|we're very, very sorry,|we apologize.
we've been partying|a little hard,
but we're all getting|ready to go to sleep.
guard: mmm-mmm.
[chuckles]
well, this is going|to be a problem.
someone's going to|have to pay.
yeah, we're going to|take care of that first|thing in the morning.
yeah, you will.
what the hell gets|into you people?
drugs and alcohol.
well, i got|no problem with that.
[laughing loudly]
dr. bigbucks.
[laughing loudly]
adam: hey,|how about a beer?
no. maybe|some other time.
listen,|we're very, very sorry,|we apologize.
we didn't mean any|disrespect to the hotel.
we're very sorry.
hey, hey,|don't worry about it.|don't worry about it at all.
just as long as|you keep it down.
what the fuck is that?
adam: sir, please,|before you go in there,
i just want to explain.
can i talk to you|one second, please?
d-d-don't go|in there yet.
we were calling 9-1-1|right when you came,|i swear to god.
this is not|what it looks like.
[all talking at once]
adam: go in there|and put your fucking pants on.
mike:|i'm not going to put|my pants back on.
no, you get dressed.|goddamn it, i'll handle this.
just get back.|just get back.
everybody just get--|just move back.
mike: the floor was wet.|she completely slipped.
guard: get me a phone.|just get me a telephone.
back up, back up!|he wants us to back up.
guard: i want everybody|just to move back.
just take your|fucking hands off me!
[all talking at once]
guard:|clear a path!
boyd: don't let him bleed|on the carpet!
go on! get out!|get out!
shut the door!
boyd: come over here!|help me!
jesus! oh, shit!
son of a bitch!
boyd: he'll bleed out.|he'll bleed out!
oh, my god!
guard:|you motherfuckers!
boyd: all right,|he'll bleed out.|he'll bleed out.
[pounding on door]
oh, die!
[pounding stops]
[guard screaming|in bathroom]
[glass breaks]
[all breathing heavily]
think anybody--
[guard pounds on door]
die!
die, you son|of a bitch!
[security guard moaning|and screaming]
it's all right.
come on.
come on.
bingo.
new plan.
no, no,
not so much of|a new plan
as a modification|on the old one.
i'm calling the police.
so help me god,|you touch that|fucking phone,
i'll bury you|with them.
surrender is|no longer an option.
i repeat, it is|not an option.
is there anyone|here who does not|understand that?
little gut check|time, fellas.
time for some serious|self-exploration.
how do i function?
for real,|no more bullshit.
can i keep my cool|when they bounce my bananas,
when they won't play my song,|et cetera, et cetera?
you get me?
do you get me?
not really, no.
that's not a problem.
understand not my words,|but follow my orders.
follow my orders.
let me be|the success coach.
wait a minute.
wait a minute.
wait, wait, wait, wait.
boyd: what?|we can't do this.
we've already|done this.
no, no, i mean|the suitcases.
we can't|bury them like this|in the suitcases.
why not?
because it's sacrilegious.
how do you figure?
according to jewish law,|the blood and the limbs
are considered to be|a sacred part of|the human spirit.
the body has to be united,|or the soul can't|rest in peace.
what the hell?|that's what|we're doing.
no, no, it's not.|we got their parts|all mixed together.
we can't do this|to them.
she's asian.|they don't have jews|in asia.
that is absolutely|not true.
michael, do they|have jews in asia?
huh?
they have--|yes, they do.
they have jews in asia.|he is correct.
what the fuck are|we supposed to do?
we're going to have to|open up the suitcases.
we're going to|unpack the bodies
and reunite|the appropriate limbs.
no fucking way!
that's what|we're going to do!
no fucking way!
we have to do this,|goddamn it!
adam, we got|to get going.
the sun's coming up.|come on!
i am not flexible|on this.
let's do it.
i've got her head.
adam: this is her head.
i got a combo situation.
do you have|any of him?
i have--that's her.
boyd:|watch your step,|all right.
hey! hey!
i've got a mop.
kyle: just open|the fucking bags up!
adam, heads up.
jesus christ!
mike: don't just toss|it around, goddamn it!
show a little|fucking respect!
i have her lower leg.
ok, i have his upper leg|and her lower leg.
i have his upper leg|and her lower ,
leg and they don't|go together!
boyd: how do we|get started, adam?
look, if you|don't want to do it,|just sit the fuck down!
great fucking idea!|everybody's losing|their goddamned minds!
is this her stuff here?
that's her!|that's him!
all right,|let's do this.
boyd: all right,|somebody get his torso,|find his torso.
forget the head,|we'll just start.
mike:|we got the head.
boyd: we'll start|with black, then we'll go|to the asian, all right?
we're going to|make you very happy.
ok, you don't|do nothing.
i got toes!
ok, relax.
i got toes.|i have somebody's|toes.
boyd: ok?
all right.
[sighs]
allow me to be|the first to say
that what we have done here|is not a good thing.
it's clearly not|a good thing,
but it was, given|the circumstances,|the smart play.
i'm proud of us.
i am proud of each|and every one of us.
it's going|to be ok.
we performed|under the most complex
and nerve-shattering|of situations.
i mean, each one|of us stood fast,|and we all delivered.
i feel proud.
we're going to hell...
hell or prison,|whichever comes first.
that's wrong.|that is flat-out|wrong, adam.
you got to change|your associations.
hell is for cowards,|for hypocrites,
for people who fear|to live by the strength|of their own conviction.
now, this is war!
given the circumstances|and given the fact
that we are alive|and they are not,
we've all chosen|life over death.
i mean, two wrongs|don't make a right,
so our conviction|and execution
would only mean|more death here,|not less.
i don't know, boyd.
just seems to me|ever since you started|this personal growth,
self-help, power|fucking dysfunctional|fucking bullshit,
you are all fucked up|in the head!
don't even go there.
you don't know|what the hell you're|talking about, all right?
personal strength has|nothing to do with this.
true, it's helped me|to unlock energies and see|my options more clearly,
but to give it credit|for all of this
is a little bit more|than they deserve.
kyle: don't you think|we ought to say some|words over the bodies?
what kind of words?
like a...a prayer.
go ahead.
dear god...
i don't fucking|know how to pray.
say what's|on your mind.
speak from the heart.|let it flow.
[sighs]
dear god...
this is pathetic.
you're pathetic.
what did you say?
you're not a team player.
don't point at me.
you've never been|a team player.
that's why you don't|have any friends.
what are you|talking about?|i have friends.
the hell you do.
the hell|i don't.
you have|acquaintances.
business friends,|superficial|golf buddies.
you've always been|a fringe player.
don't point at me.
you have some|serious male-on-male|intimacy problems.
what are you fucking|talking about?
you can't deal|with men!
guys, maybe now is|not the time for this.
come on, fisher,|this is the perfect time.
this is the real time.|we're in the moment.
adam, your brother|and myself
as well as several|others present
have always felt|that you were
a fully repressed,|living-in-major-denial,|lock-down flyboy.
[chuckles]|what?
fire in the hole,|big guy.
what?
dear god, please forgive us for|what we've done here tonight.
we've lost our way.
speaking for myself,
i am deeply in|love with the woman|i'm about to marry,
and i am very much|looking forward|to raising a family
and being a positive|member of society.
we promise,|if you forgive us,
that we will never forget|this tragedy
and we will try|with all our power
to use it as|a daily reminder
that we are on|this earth to do|good, not evil.
let us move from|this day forward with|new spirit and purpose.
you have given us|a second chance,
so let us take|that second chance
and use it to fuel|our fires of productivity
so that the spirits|of the two people that|we buried here tonight
can forever live on|in our good deeds|and positive achievements
that we, from this day forward,|shall make our lives' work.
thank you, god,|and once again,
please give us your guidance|and your forgiveness. amen.
hello?
it's me.
hey!
i'm on the road.|we're running|a little late.
really? how late?
um...like an hour.
honey, did you check|on the chairs?
what?
did you check|on the chairs?|ok.
okwhat?|what?
what. yeah.|what about the chairs?
i left a message.|everything's|going to be ok.
yeah? you sound|a little funny, honey.
did you do the cocaine|last night?
um...nope.
i'm gonna be home|in, like, 4 hours,|ok, hon?
did you have fun?
was it fun, honey?
adam: you think|he had kids?
what?
children.
do you think that man|was a father?
i don't know.
i got a really bad|feeling...
that he had children.
i don't know.|i think he was too young|to have children.
we're gonna burn|for this.
[lois whistles]
lois: come on, guys.|daddy's home.|let's go. adam jr.
adam jr.:|where did you go, dad?
today is the beginning|of the rest of our lives.
hi, daddy!
oh...
honey! honey,|we have to go.
my soccer game's|today.
you were gonna drive|me and my friends.|you have to.
nobody says anything|to anybody...ever.
we're late.
boyd: right?
let's go.
laura, voice-over:|the idea is to be able to,|like, look at everybody
and know that they're all|in the same wedding, right?
i mean, i just want to|make sure that everything's|sort of pressed.
i don't want to look|like it's been hanging|on a hanger all the time.
i want everything|to be, like...
i just want them to all|look like they're just...|you know, clean.
here, let me...
let me help--|i'll help you with that.|your nails are filthy.
i don't care--|like, just for the day,
all i ask is that|they're clean for the day.
after that, i don't care|what happens, ok?
ok.
hi, boyd.|hey.
ok, um, basically...|are you gonna stand|like this?
i'll stand any way|you would like me|to stand.
[laughs]
michael...
mike--what is--|what happened here?
he gave me a collar|center because i have|an irregular size.
an irreg--
i'm in between sizes.|my neck is wide, and...
this looks like|it hurts.|it does.
does it hurt?|yeah. i can't|really breathe.
is this your shirt?|did you bring this,|or is this theirs?
it's theirs.|ok, well, this is just|totally unacceptable.
how are you feeling?|put your arms down.
if you can just take it in|on the sides right here...|right here. right here.
[telephone ringing]
he's got two kids,|goddamn it,|just like i said!
two fucking kids,|goddamn it!
calm the fuck down!|let's move on past|the fucking blaming shit.
ok, now, where'd|you get this?
at the newsstand|on third.
fucking boyd,|that fucking idiot!
goddamn it,|they're onto us!|they're not onto us.
boyd, did you read|the paper?
is that him?|is that him?|give me that!
goddamn it, calm down.
boyd, you fucking idiot!|this shit is coming down, man!
that's just nothing.
that's just a stupid|missing persons thing,|that's all.
you got us into this mess!
i did?|from what i remember,
it was your rat-fuck|brother that decided|to play chop suey
with the hooker's|fucking head.
will you shut up?!|calm down.
shut up! these fucking|phones aren't secure,|goddamn it!
just lighten up,|would you, please,|adam? all right?
just show some|character. walk through|some fucking fear.
don't talk to me|about character, pal.
watch the tone,|fella, ok?
fuck you, boyd!|give me the phone.
fuck you, too,|snake-eyes,|cocksucker!
fuck you!|shut up. boyd?
they have my credit card|imprint, you know that?
he hung up, goddamn it!
fucking asshole!
fucking...
look what you did,|goddamn it!|look what you did!
refocus...your mind!
control...|your...fear!
[kids chanting repetitively]
knock it off!
hey, don't snap at them.
they're making me nuts!
no, they're singing.
it's a disgusting song.
well, you taught it|to them.
[kids arguing]
lois:|guys! guys, be quiet.
your daddy's in|a really, really bad mood,|and if you're really good,
you're gonna get|some whizzers--|i promise.
both: whizzers!
we want whizzers!|we want whizzers!
lois: ok? ok, yeah.|high-five. all right.
kids: we want whizzers!|we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!|whizzers! whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!|whizzers! whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!|whizzers! whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!|whizzers!
we want whizzers!|we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!
[police radio]
[kids' chanting continues]
hey, how do you like|the minivan?
kids: we want whizzers!|we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!|we want whizzers!
we want whizzers!
so, how do you like|your minivan?
fine.
whizzers!
we want whizzers!
[adam swears]
no, no, honey.|honey, go in there and|get them some whizzers.
what?|they're screaming|for whizzers.
just go in there|and get some whizzers.
i'm not going in there.
they are screaming|like monsters.|it's giving me a headache.
i used the credit card|so i don't have|to go in there!
go get them|some fucking whizzers!
whizzers! whizzers!|whizzers!
kids: whizzers! whizzers!
thank you. go.|please. whizzers.
kids: we want whizzers!
love you!
fucking whizzers!
man: excuse me.
[police radio]
yeah. sure.|no--no problem.
aah! oh! aah!
ooh! aah! jeez!
i'm sorry.|i--i got it.
i got it. sorry!|i'm sorry.
just leave it.
leave it|and get out.
i'm--i'm sorry.
officer:|buddy, you ok?
hey--whoa!
clerk: what the hell|is wrong with you?
just get out!
lois: yay!
kids: dad's got the whizzers!|dad's got the whizzers!
dad's got the whizzers!|dad's got the whizzers!
here he comes!
where are the whizzers?
they didn't have|any whizzers.
what do you mean,|they don't have|any whizzers?
they didn't have any|fucking whizzers, ok?!
what are you doing?!
what is your problem?!|what isyour|goddamn problem?
aah!
kids: dad!
oh, oh...
nice to see you.
oh, my god!
[giggling]
you look so beautiful!|i love that dress.
oh, my god...|have you seen amanda?|oh, my god, come here.
she's wearing the same|exact dress she wore|to heidi's wedding.
i'm losing it, fish.
hey, now--|how's it going?
nice to see you.|nice to see you.
i got a migraine like|a fucking monkey kicking|in the side of my--
i get you, i get you.|hi. hi, cynthia.|nice to see you.
hi, mr. and mrs. wilshire.
fish. fish--
i'm sorry,|i'm not myself.
just, please, not now.
where's|the bathroom?
it's just past--|where's the fucking|bathroom?!
it's past the bar!|excuse me.
here's a picture|of kyle, age 4,
and his good friend,|jo-jo the mule.
[laughing]
now...
evidently,|when they got to camp,
kyle and boyd over there|had some serious arguments.
try and get me|in the mouth.
shh.
mr. fisher: ...who exactly|was kyle's best friend,
boyd or the mule?
boyd: well,|fish had a less than|normal relationship
with that ass.
[guests chortling]
kyle: you're|just jealous, boyd.
mr. fisher:|well, be that as it may,
after camp came football,
and for those of you
who didn't follow|the sports pages back in 1977,
you might not remember|the peewee powerhouse|of oklahoma,
who, under the leadership|of yours truly,
managed to roll to|an auspicious league record|of 0 for 12...
scoring exactly|not one damn touchdown.
[speech continues]
lois:|where are you going?
oh...ho ho!
he was a husky kid then,|and he's a husky kid now...
whose great talent|was persistence.
they showed up.
[whispering]
mr. fisher:|they didn't score much.|they didn't score at all.
ha ha! but they showed up.
so...now i'd like|to propose my toast...
to the groom and...|his wonderful bride.
god bless.
god bless.
god bless.
adam,|what's wrong, man?
[gasping]
i can't--|i can't fucking breathe.
what's wrong?
fish, i'm sorry.|boyd: ok!
you're freaking me|out, brother.
that was definitely|not cool--definitely|inappropriate behavior.
just shut up|for a second.
negative!|this is not what|you've worked out
in terms of|self-management|here, adam.
come on!|pull it together.
he's having|some kind|of problem?
what's the problem,|adam?
what is|the fucking|problem, huh?
come on.
i just--i just--|we're gonna get caught.
we're not gonna|get caught.
i know we're gonna|get caught.
they're eyeballing|my minivan.
who?|what?
at the minimart.
what the hell are|you talking about?
they're|smoking me out!|who's smoking you out?
nobody is|smoking you out!
shut up!
laura: kyle!
yeah? what, hon?
honey...|yeah?
is everything ok?
yeah, everything's fine.|great.
ok. can we go|back inside?
yeah. sure.
honey,now.now.|can we go inside?
i just have these...|um, we have these...
yeah, we got, uh...|groomsmen's last-minute|preparations to make.
we've got a rehearsal|dinner going on inside.
dad, everything's|fine, ok?
i'm in the middle|of my goddamn toast|in there!
why don't the two of you|go back inside,
you get back into the toast,|and i'll be back in, ok?
so just go on, please.
honey, we have|a rehearsal dinner|here, ok?
boyd: everything's|beautiful. your wife|looks beautiful,
except for|what you did to|her fucking nose.
adam, the timing fucking|sucks on this here.
we got the rehearsal|dinner thing right now.
you never gave|a damn about anyone|but yourself.
you're a fucking|reject, ok?
you eat my ass!
hey!|eat my ass!
boyd:|this doesn't help!
if youevertouch|my minivan again,
you are going to be|very sorry, brother!
very fucking sorry!
you are aloser!|loser?!
loser! you're a--|you think your shit's|so fucking righteous?
you were right there,|right there with us--|side by fucking side.
you murdered|that girl!
you murdered her!|you're a murderer!|murderer!
keep it fucking down!|keep your fucking voice--
shut your fucking mouth.
i didn't do|anything, ok?|yes, you did.
i might just|turn your little|pathetic ass in.
how about that, pal?
did you hear that?
boyd: adam,|calm down, ok?
adam: i'm not|gonna calm down!|i can't do this!
i can't do this!|i'm telling you,|they--
it won't work!|it cannot work!
ithasworked!|itisworking!
it's done!
i'm telling you,|they've got|fiber optics,
they've got|dna samples,
they've got|fbi scientists--
the fucking internet,|goddamn it!
they figure this shit|out! they figure it out|every fucking time!
they won't figure it out.|you've just got to relax.
i've got children.|i've got a life!
your kids are|one crutch away|from a telethon.
you got a frigid,|swamp-hog wife--
you fuck!
laura: kyle!|what is going on?!
jesus! what is--|are they fighting|over there?
no, baby--|baby, they are fighting|over there!
now, what the fuck|is--aah! aah!
boyd:|back off, michael!|that's enough!
goddamn it,|back off!
you are not going|to ruin this for us!
you will not|ruin it for us!
this is gonna stop.|you fucking go home!
you fucking|murderer!
back off!|he's gone!
you're a fucking loser!|you're a loser!
you need to take|a time-out.
go home!|go home, you|fucking murderer!
fucking loser!
go home,|you fucking|murderer!
easy, easy!|we got to go back in.|we got to go back in.
the problem is gone, ok?|time out.
oh, fuck.|we got to get in there.
listen. we're gonna|go back inside,
we're gonna|collect ourselves.
adam...are you cool?
no, boyd.
no!
i am definitely|not cool!
[starts engine]
all right,|problem child is leaving.
back inside, ok?
just get the fuck|out of here!
[tires squealing]
go home, you fuck!
pull it together.|i got my whole fucking|family in there.
just get it|the fuck over with.
[tires screeching]
[muttering]
[tires squealing]
what do you want?!
[revs engine]
mr. fucking minivan.
[revving engine]
get the hell|out of here, mike!
[tires squealing]
he's gonna take out|my minivan!
don't you dare!
hey, hey, hey--|my god!
aah!|fucking christ!
oh...
oh...
so it was some sort|of accident?
yeah. he, uh...|he didn't realize.
i guess he just lost|control of the car.
was there some sort|of argument?
no, nothing like that.
we heard there was|some arguing going on.
what, some kind of|sibling muscle-flex thing?
boyd: no, no, no.|they love each other.
just, uh...we were|all just outside,|just talking.
we were just talking.
what were you|talking about?
uh, the wedding...
married...wedding...
yeah, how it's probably|going to be the last time
for all of us|to be together...|to see each other...
before he gets married.|married. i'm|getting married.
a lot of people seem|to think there was|some hostility.
unh!
how the fuck am i|supposed to comment
on what a lot of other|people thought, huh?
i mean, listen,
we've all suffered|an incredible trauma|here,
and we're in full-on|grieving mode right now,
and your questions|are just a little bit|poorly timed.
do you understand?|thank you very much,|officer randone.
easy, boyd.
no "easy boyd."|don't give me that shit.
i got a friend in there|in pieces, for god's sakes.
how about a little|sensitivity, huh?
there was no fighting|going on or nothing.|yeah.
unh, unh, unh!
randone: what was|that guy's name?
robert boyd.
unh, unh, unh!
excuse me...
his situation|is critical.
he's, uh...asking|to speak to his wife.
yes?
it's bad. i just want|to warn you of what|you're going to see...
unh!
[monitor beeping]
[adam whispering]
[monitor alarm sounds]
woman: he's in defib.|gonna have to step away, ma'am.
10 of lidocaine.
man: clear.
more blood here.|more blood.
second man:|charge 300. clear.
woman: nothing.
man: he's got nothing|left in his heart.|i've got nothing.
woman:|i'm gonna call it.
time of death,|11:58 p.m.
man: i'm very sorry.|he's dead.
what did he say?
man: i'm sorry,|he's dead.
what?
you--why are you|walking away?
what are you|walking away for?
what are you|walking away for?
[country music playing]
the need to know is clear:
what did adam tell lois?
that's the name of the game.|what did adam tell lois?|what does lois know?
yeah.
i killed my brother.
i killed my brother.|i killed my brother.
all right.
i ran my brother down|in cold blood.|i ran him down.
i killed my brother.|i killed my brother.
come on.
i killed my brother.|i killed my brother.
it's time to pay the man.
[rambling incoherently]
goddamn it! it's time|to pay the man!
just take it easy!
it's time to pay!|take it easy!
listen to me.|easy!
you kill one man,|and you're|a murderer, ok?
you kill all,|and you are god.
ok, just take it easy.|i killed my--
take it--
you motherfucker!
aah!
aah! unh!
never!
the memory of|the just is blessed,
while the name|of the wicked|shallrot!
get the--get the car.
the evil that men do|lives after us.|you hear me?
easy.|get off me!
get off me!
the memory of|the just is blessed,|while the name--
boyd: pick him up.
it's time|to confess your sins!|confess our sins!
keep your voice|down, michael.
open the door!
just shut your face!
get in the car!
get in there.|come on!
the memory of the just|is blessed,
while the name of|the wicked shall rot!
michael! michael!
you will control|your conditioned|response.
you will|pull yourself|together, mister!
all right!|are you hearing me?
yes.
jesus.|he's cracked up.
i'm not cracking up!|he is not|cracking up!
what have we done?
what did you ask me?
i said,|what have we done?
[tires squealing]
yes, you did. now,|that is the question.
that is exactly|the question we should|be asking ourselves.
"what have we done?"|why don't you tell us.|what have we done?
i just want|to get married.|exactly!
exactly my point.|what's your|fucking point?
i'm not talking|to you, moore.
what's your point?!|what's your point?!
you want to know|what you're doing here?
you are love-pumping.
you are protecting|all that is sacred|and beautiful
and in sync with poetry|and sunsets
and little|newborn babies.
you're walking the walk.
this is it, fisher--|the real stuff.
you love this woman,
and nothing--|absolutely nothing--|supersedes love, man.
nothing!
i love you,|i love moore,|i love michael.
this car is|full of love!
but trust me,|we will do|what it takes--
whatever it takes.
[muffled yelling]
love does not lose.
[man singing in hebrew]
[high-pitched sobbing]
michael. michael--|oh, michael...
i'm so sorry.|i'm so sorry.
no, it's not|your fault.|it's not your fault.
[singing in hebrew]
i'll get you|a new minivan.
then you can be|the soccer mom.
you're|the soccer mom!|steady, boy.
no, it's not|your fault.
no--michael,|watch the nose.|the nose!
oh, michael.
michael,|come on, let's go.
oh, god. oh, oh!
[michael ranting|incoherently]
i'm sorry!
i'm sorry!
i'm sorry!
woman:|oh! oh, my god!
i'm sorry!
[screaming]
canceled?!
canceled?
you're out of|your fucking mind.
nobody's talking|about canceling.
i'm just talking|about modifying.
no way. no way!
can we just|talk it through?
talkwhatthrough?|lookit, lookit...
we are locked and|loaded here, right?
i mean,|we are nonrefundable.
i have family at|the airport as we speak,
getting ready|to come here to see|us get married.
do you understand?|i have a table full|of presents out there.
[telephone ringing]|just answer it!
hello?
kyle, it's lois.
i was up at adam's study,|and i found a note.
it seems to be|some sort of confession
about some horrible|thing he did to a woman|in las vegas, and...
buried outside|of vegas, about boyd|being the ringleader...
she wants to know what|the hell's going on. i'm|starting to freak out.
we're goosed.|we're not goosed.|what's her disposition?
regarding what?|did she sound pissed,|scared, hostile?
did she say anything|about calling the police?
no, but she's definitely|pissed and hostile,
and she clearly is|starting to think that|something's not right.
we're goosed--|goosed by god!
michael, would you please|calm down, all right?|what did you tell her?
i told her i had no idea|what adam was talking|about in that letter.
did she believe you?|i have no idea.
you can tell when|people believe you.|it's obvious.
i don't have that skill,|but if i had to guess,
i'd say that she|in no way believed me.
goosed!|shut up.
goosed!|stop it.
goosed!|what's goosed?
would you give him|another pill?|he's already had two.
give him two more.
we are goosed!
open sesame.
jesus, boyd,|you're gonna o.d. him.|suck my ass!
goosed!
man: hey!
lois: i never|liked you, boyd.
you're a sneaky|little fuck--|always have been.
what are you|talking about?
don't sweet-lip me.
i don't understand where|this personal attack|is coming from.
you're a liar.|i want to know what|happened in vegas.
nothing happened|in vegas.
i don't want|to hear it|from the liar,
so stick a plug|in it, boyd.
fisher, what|happened in vegas?
nothing happened|in vegas.
moore?
nothing|happened, lois.
michael...
do you have something|to tell me?
michael, just tell lois|nothing happened in vegas.
shut up, boyd!|shut up.
michael...
michael...
goosed.|what?
lois, we were bad.
we were very, very...|we were very, very bad.
he's just upset about adam.|we're all a little upset.
michael,|michael, michael...|what did you do?
uh...
nothing.
nothing happened|in vegas.
all right,|i'll call the police.
i will call the police|right now
if i don't start|getting some answers.
please calm down, lois.|fuck you, boyd.
just take it easy, ok?|enough of this.
nothing|happened, lois.
nothing happened.|nothing happened.|nothing happened.
i am going to count|to 5, and i will|call the police,
and then we'll find out|what happened. one...
mike: goosed!
two...|please don't make|this situation
3...|any more tense than it|has to be, all right?
4...|just relax,|would you?
i am calling|the fucking police!
ok, here's the deal!
adam slept with|a prostitute in vegas.
he was sick|with guilt.
yeah.
it's true.|no.
it wasn't|the first time.
adam had a...
adam had a thing|for...prostitutes.
my adam?
[crying]
my adam? no...
[sobbing]|i don't believe it.
i don't believe it.|it's not true.
not my adam!
we're very, very sorry.
you're lying!
you're a bunch|of liars!
i don't believe you!
watch your fingers,|watch your toes.
all right, fellas,|i want you to listen to me.
now, mommy's going to take|a little time-out,
and bunker's going to|keep you guys company,
and everything's going|to be ok--i promise.
ok?
ok.
take my cell phone.
after you drop|the kids off,|take michael home.
put a couple drinks|in him so he'll sleep.
i don't think|that's a good idea.
just do it.|i'll call you later.
what are you doing?
i'm gonna take care|of business.
what doesthatmean?
what does that mean?|are you insane?
do you actually think|i would hurt lois?
she's the mother|of these kids,|for christ's sakes.
what's wrong with you?
you got a real nasty side|to your thought process.
[bunker barking]
kyle: look,|i'm sorry. it's|just for tonight.
lois is a mess,|michael is upset,|everybody's upset.
shut up!
ok, i amnotcanceling|this wedding.
i don't want you to.|i won't even discuss it.
nobody's|discussing it, ok?
i'm just gonna bring|them back home. i'm|gonna come right back.
you have to pick up the cake|in the morning, early.
don't we have somebody|to do that for us?
yeah. you.|[bunker barking]
what...?
ok. ok.
aah!
[sobbing]
why did i have to...
aw, jesus|fucking christ!
evil bastards!
aah, you hear|that buzzing, fish?
buzzing?
yeah, like a...
like a fucking chirping|in the back of my skull.
i don't hear anything.
yeah, well,|it's a nasty problem.
deedee? deedee.
boom! bing, bing, bing.|bam, bam, bam.
[lois snoring]
[glass slammed on table]
mike: ahh...
dad used to bring home|these sparklers for me|and adam, you know?
[laughing]
sparklers!
we'd go out back,|the 3 of us,
and we'd hold it up|to the sky
and watch|the explosions of light|and sparks, you know,
and dad would be all,|"wait for it. here it comes.|watch for it.
ok, here it comes.|here comes the wah-hoo."
wah-hoo?
wah-hoo! the sparkler|would burn hot,
then hotter,|then even hotter,
and then there'd be this|one moment of pure burn
when that little fucker|would cook perfect--|just perfect.
it would only last a second,|but that second was it.
it wasit.
and that's what dad had us|looking for, man.
are you with me?|the wah-hoo moment?
that's exactly right.|that's what i'm driving at:
man burning at|his absolute--
all the forces|coming together,
burning just perfect--
perfect harmony.
that's what|i'm driving at.
are you with me?
i think so.
i've been looking|for that flash.
i've been looking,|and i've been looking,
and i can't find it.
and what if it|already happened,|you know?
my moment.
what if it happened,|and i didn't even|see it?
lois?
lois?
adam...
no, it's boyd.
i just want you|to know
just how much|i didn't appreciate
that|personal attack.
i'm really offended!
uhh! no!
[muffled cries]
uhh!
you picked the wrong woman,|motherfucker!
aaaahhhhh!
auuuuughh god!
ahhhhhh!
ow!
it's over, baby.
i'm gonna|turn myself in.
no.|after the wedding,|of course.
after the wedding,|out of respect.
i don't think|that's a good|idea--
no, no, no, no, no.|you don't understand.
out of respect|for fisher.
out of respect|for you--
listen to me,|listen to me--
respect for your wife
and your wedding,|ok? all right?
do you hear where|i am here?
i appreciate it.
you're just being|too hard on yourself.
no, no, no, no, no.
this is my doing, ok?
just stop.
i'm gonna have a spark|of my own, all right?
ahh!
jesus!
aah!
get up!
you're mine!
i'm gonna do this for lois...
[glass breaks]
and for my brother...
and for the kids...
i'm gonna turn myself in,|'cause i'm all that.
shh!
aaaaahhhhhh!
mike: [drunk] i've|thinked it over, fish.
kyle:|what is it?
listen...
if you think|about names,
you know,|babies...
michael's|a pretty|good one,
you know?
this stuff will|be over, right?
fish? fish?
[telephone rings]
you know what|i'm saying?
hello?
[breathless]|ok, here's the deal.
and it's a good one.|lois is cool.
it's a pacified|situation.
whoa, whoa.|what do you mean?
she's resting,|she's comfortable.
the only thing is,
you still got|michael there,|right? right?
yeah.
ok, great.
she wants to see him|in person.
she, uh...
she needs to grieve|with her family.
just a little|family time.
right now?|yeah.
well, isn't it|a little late?
get over here|and don't be so|goddamn selfish!
boyd:|ok, you guys|wait in the car.
i'm gonna|take him in.
she just wants to|see him alone.
mike: lois wants|to see me?
here we go,|big guy.
upsy-daisy!
[drunken stammer]
yes. she wants|a big hug,|big family hug.
come on.
one foot in front|of the other...
there you go.
mike:|hey, fisher?|kyle: yeah?
i'm gonna do this,|and then we're gonna|go to fatburger.
ok, big guy.
boyd: lois is|in the house.
come on, michael,|get in the house.
[door opens and closes]
you know...
i'm thinking about|maybe making a move.
a move?
yeah. greenpeace.
greenpeace?
yeah. yeah. yeah.
maybe go up to|the north pole,|the arctic.
tag polar bears|with dart guns.
i've always had|pretty good aim.
[gunshot]
[footsteps]
[sighs]
michael was in love|with lois.
that's what|michael and adam|were arguing about
in the parking lot.
michael killed adam|in a jealous rage,
lois rejected michael,
he strangled her|to death...
and he shot himself|in the head.
happens all the time.
that lois, she fought|like a fucking comanche.
man: well, i don't see how this|could have been kept from you.
last month, adam and lois|changed their will.
they requested that you two,|as a married couple,
be custodians of record|for their estate,
including all properties,|cash holdings,|security holdings,
and...children.
adam had a $500,000 term|life insurance policy.
what does that mean?
that means we have|$500,000 to help|raise the kids.
no!|yes.
no!|yes.
actually, no.
adam failed to make|his last payment,|so his term life lapsed.
but he did have|a pension account|worth $150,000
and the house,|valued at 350,000.
ok, so where does|that leave us?
150 and 350,
that takes us back up|to 500,000.
not even close.|the property value's down.
the house is worth|100,000 less...
3 credit cards...
the minivan payments...
and the income|and the state taxes|assessed on his i.r.a...
that leaves you|in the neighborhood of...
$14,223.
are you fucking|kidding me?
timmy: the hell did|you do that for,|you little asshole?
what are you|gonna do about it,|you little fucker?
come on, hit me!
secretary: hey, hey,|come on--enough,|enough, enough.
[children fighting]
so...
when's the wedding?
tomorrow.
we're getting|married tomorrow.
secretary:|i've had enough|of you two devils!
enough! enough!
excuse me for a moment.
enough!
what is going on?
these are|your clients' kids!|look at these--
it's gonna be ok.
[whimpers]|it's not ok.
it's not ok.|it's not ok.
we're gonna be fine.
we have to cancel.
no. no, we don't,|no, we don't.
it's gonna be ok,|honey--
it's gonna be ok.
do you love me?
kyle...|it's gonna be ok.
w-w-we killed|a woman.
[whimpers]
what are you|talking about?
in vegas.
michael killed|a woman.
michael killed her--|he hit her head|and she bled.
and she...she died.
but there was nothing|we could do about it,|so we buried her.
who's dead?
the prostitute's dead.
you fucked|a prostitute?
no. michael did.
it was an accident,|michael did it.
where is she?
she's buried|in the desert.
you left|a dead prostitute|alone in the desert?
she's not alone.
boyd went--
boyd went crazy.
he went nuts,|and he started|killing everybody.
he killed a guard.|he killed michael.
he killed lois--
stop, ok?|just stop right there.
i don't want to hear|any more of this, ok?
i told you not to do|that stupid fucking|bachelor party thing.
i know.
you were warned!|i know.
you were warned, kyle!|you were warned!
i told you your friends|were just jackasses!
i know!|and i'm sorry.
i've waited|27 years, ok?
27 years i have|focused and prepared
to walk down|that aisle,
and i will not|be derailed.
i will not be|embarrassed,
and i will not|be denied!
so tomorrow,|i am walking down|that aisle,
come hell or high|fucking water!
ok!
showtime.
we're about|two minutes out.
moore?
better take|your position.
chop-chop!
let me see you.
there you are.
you look great, man.
go get 'em.
hoooo...
this is a situation|that defies judgment.
we have acted|and shown courage
of a nature|not known by most.
you've got a warped|though process.
your brain doesn't|function properly.
whatever you say,|kojak.
i'm serious.
no, no, no--
i'mthe serious one|here, ok?
i'm the serious one.
i'm the guy making|the fucking plays.
i'm the indian runner,|for chrissake,
and i want my money!
what money?
blood money!
insurance dollars|which you have|thus far
somehow let|slip your mind|to tell me about!
you're sick.
if you think|you can fuck me,|fish,
you can't, ok?
i'm backed up.|i'm insulated, baby!
backed up on floppy,|do you get me?
i want that|fucking money!
oh, god,|i can taste it!
not a prayer.
goddamn it!
i'm a fucking|lighthouse, man!
i stay lit for you!|i stay lit!
i never go dark!|never go dark!
you need help.
i want that|fucking money!
i told boyd|two fucking minutes.
i want my money!
aaahhhh!
hope you have|a nice wedding,|you stupid idiot!
you trying to cheat me,|you goddamn bastard!
[choking]
laura: boyd!
this ismyday!
baby, wait! wait!
stop, baby.
[giggles] ok.
stick him in the crapper|and get your ass upstairs.
baby?
[organ plays]
the best man's not|gonna make it.
we're gonna just start,|ok?
sure.
great.
where's boyd?
in the toilet.
we're gonna|get started, ok?
[playingwedding march]
[groans]
dearly beloved,
we are all here today|because two very|special people,
laura and kyle,
have found each other.
you can't...spawn|the salmon man!
when i see|two young people|in love as they are,
i find myself|renewed and inspired|because the spirit--
rise!
with hope for|the future and joy.
i'm coming!
let us begin.
may we have|the rings, please?
i'm on my way!
the rings.|we need the rings.
i don't have|the rings.
i got the ring!
[whispers]|boyd has the rings.
i'm there...
excuse me.
[boyd strikes floor]
charles: oh, god.
oh, god...
where's the rings?
shh!
aaaahhhhhh!|jesus christ!
[murmuring]
[gasps]
got 'em.
now we can begin.
do you, kyle,|take this woman laura
to be your wife|and helpmate
in sickness and in health
along life's highways,|wherever they may take you,
until death do you part?
i do.
and do you, laura,|take this man kyle--
i do.
you may|kiss the bride.
[applause]
hey, guys?
listen, i need two minutes|with him.
i'll be right out.
baby, i just want you|to know that all this,
everything i did,|is 'cause i love you
and i wanted you|to have that wedding
like you always|wanted to have, ok?
you and moore|are gonna go move|those fucking bodies,
do you|understand me?
and you're gonna|bury boyd with them.
and in fact,|you know what?
you're gonna|fucking put moore|in the ground, too.
you want me|to kill moore?
i know he's|your only friend|left, ok?
but he is|a loose string,
and you are gonna|have to start
fucking flushing|the toilet|like a big boy,
do you|understand me?
woman: laura?
fuck!
you know...
you guys, listen--
two minutes, please.|just make my apologies for me.|do your job.
and while|you're at it,|you know,
just get rid of|that fucking dog.
the dog?
i don't care|what you do,|get rid of him.
lose him|in the desert.
you want me to kill|the dog?
do you love me?|yes.
do you?|mm-hmm.
do you love me?
mm-hmm.
do you love me?|mm-hmm.
do it?
[girls pound on door]|laura!
fuck!
i told you|two fucking minutes!
[charles digging]
i've been thinking.
i've been thinking|about what you said|that day--
the prayer.
about using|this whole mess
to bring out|the good in me.
i think there's a lot|of truth in that.
i'm gonna pursue|some options.
i want to join that|big brother thing.
yeah.
i want a black one.
i want a little|black brother.
it's a big problem,|it seems to me,
you know?
lack of racial|integration,|that's a big one.
don't you think?
kyle?
[whines]
laura, voice-over:|do you love me?
that ought to be|about the end of that.
yup.
adam, voice-over:|because that is|the point here, ok?
that is what|i'm driving for.
when the big storm comes
and it knocks down|all the forests
and all the rocks|fall down
and all the leaves are bare,|what is left?
what is left?
the little trees.
the little fellas|that the storm didn't see.
the tiny little trees.
[honk]
[pumping noise]
kyle:|ok, boys, let's hear|the badger oath.
come on, boys,|let's hear it|one more time.
timmy:|a badger is great.
a badger faces|great adversity...
[stuff hits floor]
adam jr.: a badger|is economical,
saves for|the unforeseen.
a badger is sanitary,
keeps his mind|and body pure.
yes.
come on, let's see|the badger salute.
aw, no!
come on, let's see|the badger salute.
yes.
shit!
[sighs]
the hell with it.
come on, give me|your hand.
timmy: i don't need|any help!
kyle: if you don't|reach out to me,|i can't help.
leave me alone!
your new mommy's|coming.
your new mommy's--
come on. come on, now.|we're gonna make it.
let's talk about|our feelings.
i hate you|and your bitch wife!
get your own crutch,|stump boy!
please clean|the bathroom.
let's talk about|our feelings.|how do we feel?
a little help?
i can't breathe,|asshole!
a little help,|please?
let go of me,|you gimp!
a little help?
[moaning]
honey, could you help me|with the wheelchair?
honey? i need some help.
that's ok, she's not|running from you.
help me, honey.|you want to talk|about us?
V - The Miniseries CD1
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