What a Girl Wants
My name is Daphne Reynolds and I was born in New York City.
Iīve lived my whole life with my mom in a fifth-floor walkup in Chinatown.
Itīs always been just the two of us, me and Libby.
But every year on my birthday Iīd make a wish.
Make a wish, baby!
That someone else could be there too.
And every year when he didn īt come...
...Iīd ask my mom to tell me the same story.
You never get tired of this one, do you? Okay.
Once upon a time...
... there was a young, very cool singer named Libby...
... who one day decided to go out and see the world.
Little did she know that in the deserts of Morocco fate was waiting for her...
...and his name was Henry.
They fell madly, passionately, hopelessly in love...
...and were married by the chief of a Bedouin tribe.
Henry brought her to England to meet his family so they could get married for real.
But fate was not so kind this time.
She was definitely not what they were expecting.
But when Henryīs father suddenly died...
...Libby knew there īd be more pressure on him to lead a certain kind of life...
...because he was now Lord Dashwood...
...and Libby was no one īs idea of a lady.
Henry knows all about it. If you love him, you will go now.
I think you should see this.
Apparently thereīs someone else.
So even though it broke her heart, she knew she had to leave him.
But a few months later, fate gave her the greatest gift of all:
A beautiful baby girl named Daphne.
Sweet dreams, kiddo.
-Love you. -Love you.
I can ī t believe you ī re 1 5 years old today.
Sweet dreams, Henry.
On my 1 7th birthday, Mom and I had to work.
But it turned out to be where my story really began.
You delivering something?
Yeah, about three hours of watered-down rock and roll...
...and one very late waitress.
Watch your head.
Are you related?
-Can I park it? -Yeah, over there.
How could he do this to me? Itī s our wedding day! Where is he?
What? I should know? 20 minutes and sheīs lost him already.
Hey, how you doing?
Iīm sorry, can I borrow this? Thanks.
Sorry about this. Come on, big guy, wakey-wakey.
-ltīs cold and I canīt get it out! -Shout!
-Are you done with this, sir? -Oh, thanks.
-Noelle! -What are you doing here?
Iīm clearing the chicken cacciatore.
Oh, my God, that is so funny!
Guess what? Iīm interning at Jenkins and Taylor before I go to Duke, pre-law.
-Whatīs up next for you? -The dessert, a selection of sorbets.
-No, where are you going to college? -The University of the Undecided.
Is that in Ohio?
Well, I guess I better be going. But say hey to Jenkins. And Taylor.
-But-- -lf everyone would clear the dance floor...
...the bride and her father would like to share a special dance.
-I know. I saw the look. -I donīt want to talk about it.
Every time we do these weddings, Mom, I see the father-daughter dances.
I canīt help but think that līm never gonna get to do that.
I know you think youīre doing the right thing by keeping me from him--
I was trying to protect you from getting hurt the same way I was.
You left him, remember?
Itīs not like he jumped on a plane and came after me.
Maybe he would have if he knew I existed.
-ltīs not that simple. -Why canīt you understand, Mom?
I feel like half of me is missing.
And without the other half, how am I supposed to know who I really am?
Getting to know someone because they share the same DNA isnīt the answer.
Itīs about getting to know yourself.
Come on, letīs go steal some leftovers. Lasagna looks great.
I love you a million Swedish fish.
I love you a million red M&Mīs.
-Where to, miss? -JFK, Virgin Atlantic.
Maybe the answer was taking a year or two off before college...
...to find out what Iīm supposed to do with my life.
But deep down, I think Iīve always known...
... what I really need more than anything else in the world is to find him...
... to find my dad.
Mom, you always said it was up to me to write the rest of my story...
...but you īve been writing it for me, Mom.
Now it has to be my turn.
-Can I borrow that for a sec? -Sure.
Great Britain Grand Hotel?
-Thatī s not it. -lt sounded really good.
-Thanks. -ls that a Gibson J200?
-Are you a musician? -No, but I live with one back home.
So you checking in?
-Day job? -Yeah. One of many.
You know, life of a struggling musician.
Hey, lan, catch!
Come on, līll show you around.
So the kitchenīs through there.
Common roomīs down the hall.
I should warn you, the dog and boneīs on the blink and weīve no lift here.
Phone is broken.
We better take this slowly.
Lord Henry Dashwood announced today...
...he was giving up his hereditary seat in the House of Lords...
... to run for election as a commoner.
Why should an accident of birth give me the right to make decisions for people?
-The only power I want... -My dad!
...is the power the voters choose to give me. Thatīs why Iīm standing in this election.
Lord Dashwood, who will marry his fiancée Glynnis Payne this summer...
... will also inherit a stepdaughter, the lovely Clarissa Payne.
But this surprising announcement has sent shock waves through Westminster.
He now appears to be an unstoppable political force.
I admit, when you first suggested giving up your seat in the House of Lords...
... I began to question your sanity. But, no, this is political dynamite.
I had an eccentric idea we might actually be doing the right thing.
Itīs possible to do the right thing and still be a winner.
The latest poll puts the party six points ahead. Thatīs all due to you, Henry.
Youīre transforming the image of the party your father loved.
He would have been so proud of you. Youīre young, thrusting, idealistic...
...an impeccable reputation....
And a fabulous fiancée with all the right connections.
Sorry to interrupt, but if I donīt steal him heīll miss his speech at the Oxfam ball.
-Oh, blast it, my speech. -Right-hand pocket, darling.
She thinks of everything.
Well, gentlemen, that seems to be all. Thank you.
You two enjoy yourselves.
Howīs our boy doing?
If he doesnīt ruffle too many feathers, heīll be the next prime minister.
Ian, I donīt know if I can do this anymore.
Daphne, heīs your father.
Youīve flown halfway around the world to see him. You canīt turn back now.
Heīs got a family now, I mean....
You saw them, theyīre so elegant and sophisticated. Itīs like....
What would he want with me?
-Yeah, well, you got a point there. -Shut up.
Itīs just not as simple as I thought.
Maybe I should just go home and let him get on with his life.
Can I help you, miss?
Perfect. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much. Ciao.
You havenīt forgotten Lady Wrightwoodīs this afternoon, have you?
She is sponsoring us for the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. We have to be there.
I thought marrying Henry meant we didnīt have to try so hard.
Iīm not getting married for five weeks.
Until then we have to keep up appearances.
Look what happened to Olivia Dixon when she went to China.
-Whoīs Olivia Dixon? -Exactly.
-Did you see that? -What?
An impossibly large bird falling off that wall.
Are you hallucinating?
These eggs are positively glacial.
When I run this house, senile servants will be the first thing to go.
Youīd have to get around the old bat. Sheīd never allow it.
Anyone seen my pruning shears?
The old bat seems to have forgotten where she put them.
Morning. Morning, Mother. Morning, darling.
Everyone sleep well?
Thereīs someone at the window. Iīm not hallucinating.
Itīs those bloody paparazzi again.
Percy, call the police. I will not tolerate this media circus!
-Where do you think youīre going? -ltīs you!
How long do you people have to spy before realizing thereīs no story?
-Youīve got the wrong idea. -Tell it to the authorities.
The real scandal is how young theyīre starting you guttersnipes now.
You sit down and tell me who sent you. The Sun? The Daily Star?
Good heavens, you canīt be more than 1 7.
Go on, take your picture and go away.
-I already have a picture of you. -Whatī s going on?
-Where the devil did you get this? -From Libby.
-That singer you met on a camel? -Why would Libby give this to you?
She thought līd want to know what my father looked like.
My name is Daphne Reynolds. Iīm Libbyīs daughter.
According to this...
...Iīm your daughter too.
Oh, for heavenīs sake!
Seems you had an even better time in Morocco than you let on.
Oh, dear God.
No, this is impossible.
-Must be a mistake. -Exactly, a mistake.
This doesnīt prove anything.
This Libby must have written down the first man she could think of.
Youīre the only man sheīs ever thought of.
Can I have a word with you in private for a moment, please?
Youīre not going to believe her, are you?
Maybe I shouldnīt have come. This is a big shock for you.
Iīm freaking out and līve known since I was 2.
Donīt get me wrong, I mean in a good way. Iīve dreamt about this my whole life.
Not that exact entrance, of course. I imagined something more graceful.
I can see now that it was probably a mistake.
I shouldnīt have come.
Sorry, did you just say youīve known about this your whole life?
-Yeah. -Good. Now weīve got that settled...
...how about some tea and a piece of fruitcake?
Your mother didnīt feel I deserved the same consideration?
-No to the fruitcake, then. -How could she keep this from me?!
What happened to the mistake theory we were operating on a moment ago?
No, wait a minute, ducky.
Henry, I know this has come as a shock, but we canīt just let the girl go.
-Not until weīve got to the bottom of this. -Shall I call a hotel, madam?
And tell them what, exactly?
The best-known candidate in a generation is requesting a room for a teenage girl?
-The press will have a field day. -Can we leave the press out of this?
-No, Glynnis is absolutely right. -Thank God someone else is thinking straight.
The girl must stay here, with us.
Darling, before we let this hypothetical daughter blow your political career...
-...we might consider checking up on her. -For what?
Criminal record? Blood type? Triple sixes on her scalp?
Glynnis, she has a birth certificate, she has my photograph and she has my eyes.
Only thinking of whatīs best for you.
I know you donīt like thinking about it, but the press can be brutal.
" Exclusive! Henry Dashwood in Love Child Shocker!"
Actually, sheīs not strictly a love child. Her mother and I were married.
I mean, not technically. It was a Bedouin ceremony in Morocco.
We planned to make it official as soon as we got back...
... but for some reason Libby decided to....
Well, anyway, she left.
-Taking something of yours with her. -Put a cork in it.
Maybe someone should have put a cork in it 1 7 years ago!
Well, here we are.
Will it do?
Are you kidding? Itīs incredible! Itīs bigger than our entire apartment...
...and the restaurant downstairs. It makes the White House look like a McDonaldīs.
I get the point. Now, why donīt I send Percy to fetch your things?
-Thank you so much, Lady Dashwood. -No hugs, dear.
Iīm British. We only show affection to dogs and horses.
-ls she there? Is she all right? -Yeah, sheīs here.
Sheīs fine. Mother is force-feeding her fruitcake as we speak.
How could you not tell me līd fathered a child?
You let her show up 1 7 years later, unannounced--
And what? Put a dent in your political career?
-No, thatīs not-- -lf youīre afraid of a scandal, send her back.
Itīs not about scandal, itīs finding out I had a daughter for half my life!
I didnīt want her to get hurt.
-What is that supposed to mean? -Ask your advisors.
Theyīve gotten you this far, haven ī t they?
My point is that Henryīs strength has been that heīs completely scandal-free...
...unlike his opponent. This could ruin everything.
Have you finished stating the obvious?
Good. Then let me explain what weīre going to do.
We give the papers the story, but we spin it our way.
Letīs see what we have.
Yes, the Royal Dress Show.
Introduce her as the daughter youīve always known, but rarely were able to be with.
The press still gets a story, but itīs cut off at the knees.
We are dealing with a living, breathing 1 7-year-old girl.
The only thing we know is that sheīs an American teenager.
Hardly a promising start.
Still, what do you think, Henry? Liability or asset?
Well, līve only spent a few moments with her myself...
...but my sense is that sheīs quite mature for her age.
She seems well-mannered.
-Thanks, Percy! -Your lunch, Miss Daphne.
Iīd say rather self-contained, soft-spoken.
Perfect. Letīs run with it.
Ah, me. Please be Armistead.
-Dashwood residence, Clarissa speaking. -This is lan Wallace. Is Daphne there?
Sheīs not here.
Thereīs no one here by that name, actually. Sorry.
If you do happen to see her, could you tell her lan Wallace is trying to find her?
Absolutely. I will.
-Daphne. -Mr. Dashwood.
-Lord Dashwood? -Call me Henry.
-This is a cool room. -Listen, l....
I was just wondering if....
I was wondering if.... Well, I donīt know if this would interest you, actually...
...but I was hoping you might accompany me to the Royal Dress Show on Friday?
-Dress show? -Yes, itīs ass-numbingly dull.
Some people I have to impress take it frightfully seriously.
Is it like a fashion show?
Gwyneth and Madonna go to those things, right? Do you think theyīd be there?
I have no idea what youīre talking about, but for me itīs a stop on the campaign trail.
For Glynnis, itīs a chance to launch Clarissa on society.
Launch? You make her sound like a ship.
No, in Clarissaīs case itīs more like an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Sheīs what in the old days might have been called a debutante.
Well, I donīt know. I just....
-Could you bear it? -Could I bear it? I mean thatīd be....
-Thatīd be cool. -Really?
Well, good. Thatīs settled, then. Thatīs good.
I forgot. I brought this for you. Itīs some pictures of me growing up.
-Thatīs.... -I thought you might want to have it.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Thatīs splendid, thank you.
Daphne, could I get your advice on something?
I canīt decide which one to wear to the show tomorrow...
-...and I was wondering what you thought. -ls that a Gucci tartan mini? Thatīs so cute!
-You can go that funky to the show? -Daphne, thatīs the whole point.
Turn up in a sensible dress and pearls...
...and you might as well wear a sign saying, "Spot the Plonker."
Iīm glad you told me. Wouldnīt want to be a plonker.
What are stepsisters for?
-This is really cute. -Good. Iīll wear that, then.
-See you later! -Bye!
Iīm here to see Daphne Reynolds.
-Do you have an appointment? -No, but sheīs a friend of mine.
-You donīt get in without an appointment. -Sheīll want to see me.
-Could you move away now, please, sir? -What?
-Could you move away now, please? -All right, chill out, mate.
You donīt own the place.
No. Not good.
Iīm so sorry. One second. Iīll be right there. Almost ready.
We have to go! Prince Charles, Harry and Wills will already be there.
Why doesnīt Daphne come along later?
-I suppose Percy could drive-- -Brilliant. Itīs settled, then.
Well, isnīt this perfect?
-Go low on that one, Army. -Low? Low it is.
Youīd think theyīd choose debs who actually had ankles. Those look like baked hams.
-Shall I park the car? -No, see you later!
Sorry. No admittance. Showīs already started.
Where is this Daphne, anyway?
Sheīll probably swing through on a vine any minute.
The girl is positively barbaric.
I hope she doesnīt embarrass me in front of Armistead.
We still have the arrival of Henryīs illegitimate daughter.
You neednīt worry. Henry assured me she will be the soul of discretion.
-ls this the way to the show? -Go! Youīre on!
Oh, my giddy aunt!
Holy poo on toast!
Who is that adorable creature?
She can dump tea in my harbor anytime.
Thank you, London!
I say, are you all right? Are you sure?
-What a disgrace! -Must be American.
Make way, everyone. T acky American coming through.
My evil stepsister. Youīve seen Cinderella, right?
Let me clue you in. I win.
-What a cute dog! -I beg your pardon?
Iīm Henry Dashwoodīs daughter from New York.
-I didnīt know Henry had a daughter. -Can I play with him?
-Sheīs very temperamental! A biter! -Seems sweet.
-Hey, guy! I like the ribbon. -Oh, dear. Excuse me, wonīt you?
Cute little guy, letīs play.
-Princess Charlotte, I do apologize. -ltīs all right, Henry.
Iīve just been having a delicious moment with your daughter.
Wonderful girl. A little rough around the edges, but youīll sort those out.
-ls she staying for the summer? -No, no, no.
-Oh, līm afraid not. -No, no, no.
My daughter will be joining us this season.
-What season? -Oh, my dear, youīll love it!
Beautiful gowns, lovely tiaras, long, silky gloves...
...and the feverish kissing in the cloakroom.
I must have my little baby back.
Come here, my darling. There.
There now, sweetheart.
-Youīve found a new friend. -Come on, Daphne.
-Whoīs my precious girl? -Letīs get you out of here.
-Daddy. -Relax, darling, relax.
Sheīll be gone in no time, just like her mother.
-You scared the bejesus out of me. -Sorry.
So youīre the milk thief.
-Whatīre you doing up so late? -Jet lag.
Whatīs your excuse?
Couldnīt sleep. Just thinking.
How I nearly wiped out the entire royal family?
I think they enjoyed it. Itīs the first time Princess Charlotteīs taken a shine to anyone.
And no one will go near that dog since it ate one of Lord Barretīs testicles.
-Tragic. -The real tragedy is, heīs still reproducing.
Coco Pops. Interesting choice.
-I had you down as an All-Bran man. -These are strictly contraband.
Glynnis makes me eat that other gravel every morning.
-Do you like Coco Pops? -Dude, itī s chocolate. Need I say more?
Did you mean what you said about me staying for the summer?
Yes. Yes, I did.
So does that mean līm gonna be launched on society?
I suppose we ought to arrange some sort of coming-out party for you.
Coming-out party? Coming out as what?
-As a young woman. -What are you trying to say, Henry?
I just-- I mean as a young woman of a certain...
...social standing and eligibility.
Eligibility? For what?
Well, for men-- I mean, for male suitors to....
-I ī m not explaining this very well, am l? -No. But I ī m having fun watching you try.
Yes, well, perhaps we ought to leave the party arrangements to you.
Itīs not my kind of thing, but līll think about it.
I was just wondering whether your mother ever...?
-No. No, she never got married. -No, but obviously thereīd be....
Thereīd be somebody, you know....
Well, off to bed, I suppose.
I hope you find your sleeping arrangements conducive to a good nightīs--
Henry? "Sweet dreams" is all it takes.
Well, sweet dreams.
Sweet dreams, Henry.
-Off to work? -I was just-- Well, yes.
Oh, that reminds me. We must get a dress for you for Saturday.
-Whatīs on Saturday? -The ball at the Orwoodsī.
-Lots of hands to shake, līm afraid. -I can help Daphne find a dress.
We know that wouldnīt be a good idea. No, I found a gown at my designerīs.
Iīve put it in your room, dear. Itīs utterly ravishing.
Excellent. Thank you. Iīm counting on you girls to give Daphne some pointers.
Oh, very you. Lovely.
So Henry asked us to give you some pointers, didnīt he?
Well, pointer number one, go home.
Mother and I belong here and itīs quite clear you just donīt fit in.
And pointer two? While youīre packing...
...keep your grimy little Yankee paws off Armistead Stuart.
-Heīs mine. -lf youīd take your nose out of the air...
...youīd see youīre designer, līm vintage.
Youīve got a mansion, I have a five-floor walkup.
Youīre snotty Little Miss Cranky Pants and I go with the flow.
So why would you ever think that līd ever have the same taste in guys?
So hereīs a little pointer for you. Get over yourself.
And stop trying to be my daddyīs little girl, because līm not going anywhere.
Donīt listen to that silly twit Clarissa. Sheīs just threatened by you, thatīs all.
-Why would she be threatened? -Her mother is about to marry my son...
...and gain a title and all that goes with it.
For years, Alistair tried to elevate his position through my husbandīs career.
Now heīs got his claws into Henry.
People like Alistair and Glynnis, social standing is everything.
Itīs silly, but they live by it. And I lived by it too, once.
Till I saw what a toll it took on the people who I love most.
Believe me, thereīll be plenty of people rooting for you to fail.
Thatīs what makes it such fun.
-Bring it on. -Pull!
Oh, dear. Is that how the West was won?
Lord Henry Dashwood. Miss Glynnis Payne. Miss Clarissa Payne.
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Ashley.
-Thank you very, very much. -Thank you.
-Thanks. -Whoī s next?
Lord and Lady Harrison Gordon.
Lord and Lady Jeffrey Charles.
Now, come along, Daphne. Deep breath and remember the family motto.
Whatīs the family motto?
-What does that mean? -lt means, ducky...
...hang in there and youīll rock!
Lady Jocelyn Dashwood, Countess of Wycombe.
Lady Jocelyn Dashwood, Countess of Wycombe.
Miss Daphne Reynolds.
41 3 Mulberry Street, Chinatown, New York.
-What has she done to that dress? -Mother!
-Fantastic! -Who designed the dress, Miss Reynolds?
Could you hold it on that step, please?
-Letīs go. -That wretched girl!
-Yummy. -Can you look this side, please?
-Thatīs right. -Can I have another smile?
Thatīs beautiful, Miss Reynolds. This way. Lovely.
-Can we get a photograph? -Excuse me, thank you.
Thank you. That will be all, gentlemen. Thank you very much.
Iīm sorry about that. Youīre still something of a novelty, līm afraid.
-Are those the girls that are coming out? -Yes, Peach and Pear Orwood.
-The daughters of Lord Orwood. -Have you noticed the chandelier?
Chairman of my constituency party.
The real love of his life is that chandelier.
Donīt let him catch you looking at it.
Youīll start his boring story about how Napoleon...
...gave it to Josephine at the Battle of Borodino.
The story is longer than the battle.
Excuse me. I wonder if I might request a dance from your gorgeous daughter?
Iīm sure sheīd be delighted. Thank you, Armistead.
I canīt believe that little imposter is going to ruin my summer.
She may be a lot of things, but I canīt believe imposter is one.
Technically, sheīs 39th in line to the throne.
Really, Fiona, 38 people would have to die for her to be queen.
Well, itīs far less than the 72 youīd need.
Women are just drawn to me. Itīs something I happen to be blessed with.
An indefinable quality that just relaxes them, fascinates them.
-Youīre feeling it, arenīt you, Dabney? -ltīs Daphne.
And let me guess, youīre feeling it in my backside?
Ladies and gentlemen, weīre gonna take a short break. See you in 1 0.
Warning : colonial strumpet alert.
Hi, līm Daphne Reynolds. Peach and Pear, isnīt it?
-Are those your real names? -Yes.
Pumpkin and Gourd would have been much more appropriate.
-Our mother was obsessed with fruit. -And vegetables.
-We have a sister called Parsnip. -She doesn ī t get out much.
Letī s bail. This partyī s a total bore.
Donīt listen to her, the partyīs hopping!
Excuse me for a second?
She is so nice.
-Henry, old chap. -What a wonderful evening.
I ī m glad you ī re enjoying yourself. I don ī t know if youīve noticed the chandelier.
Actually, itīs a rather fascinating story.
-Looking for me? -Oh, no. I was just looking for the loo.
Outside? On the terrace?
All right, so you caught me.
So let me guess. Youīll disappear again without so much as a glass slipper?
This Cinderellaīs got a dad now. Sheīs not going anywhere.
-Your song was really beautiful. -Thanks.
Itīs not gonna liven up this party, though. Poor girls. I feel sorry for them.
A dud like this will send them back to social Siberia.
What do you say we liven things up a little bit? Get the party started.
Well, first of all, I could get fired.
-And second of all, I could get fired. -Come on.
-No. No. -For me?
Okay, letīs do it.
-lnsufferable deprivation of this house.... -Okay, guys.
-One, two, three, four! -līm cranking up the bass!
What the devil is going on? Is that girl yours?
Yes. Yes, she is.
What do I tell my daughters when theyīre lying awake crying over their ruined ball?
Oh, my precious!
Weīre going. Come on.
This is ridiculous.
Have you seen the papers? Itīs everywhere. We have to do something.
I donīt know anyone that isnīt relieved to see that go.
-What on Earth are you giving Henry? -Theyīre called Coco Pops, madam.
-Morning. -Hardhat, anyone?
You never know when something sharp might fall from the sky.
-līm most dreadfully sorry, miss. -You idiot!
These are my best suede Pradas. Do you have any idea how expensive they are?
Iīm really sorry about last night. I was just trying to help them out.
Where did you find that revolting song?
James Brown, 1 976, charted out at number 1 4.
I have no idea where that came from.
Gillian, darling. Yes, līm sorry, itīs just an awful time.
What music did you listen to when you were younger?
-Back before the Earthīs crust cooled? -Favorite band of the ī 70s.
Don ī t say the Bee Gees.
-Don ī t say the Bee Gees. -They were called Little Feat.
And I saw them half a dozen times. I remember they once--
Itīs 8: 1 5 and you have an appointment in Westminster at 9 : 1 5.
Yes. Yes, you ī re right.
See you later.
Miss Daphne, Mr. Wallace is here to see you.
Don ī t let him in, I ī m not even cute yet!
What am I gonna wear?
Hello, sir. Ian Wallace.
I ī m here to pick up Daphne.
-How you doing? -How do you do?
-Who are you? -I ī m a musician. I was at the ball last night.
You were in the band?
-Now you and Daphne are...? -Eloping together? Yeah.
I realize itīs a bit sudden, but after last night, there really was no turning back.
-Youīre joking. -Yes, sir.
-Donīt wait up, Henry. -See you.
-So, what we needīs a little cheering up? -Hold the "little."
Just leave it all to me.
You ready? Letīs go!
Oh, hey, you gotta try these.
These are great kebabs. Can we have two?
-Nice. Thank you. -Thanks.
This is awesome!
I like these.
Oh, my God. I love these.
Yeah. This place has always got really nice stuff. That suits you.
-līll get it. -You sure?
Itīs fine. Honestly.
-Wait, wait. -What?
-This is so pretty. -Yeah.
-You like? -Yeah, itīs cool.
Looks good. Yeah, I like it.
-Thanks for my bracelets. -ltīs okay.
-Today was really fun. I needed it. -Good. Glad youīre enjoying yourself.
-From now on līm gonna behave. -Behave like what, exactly?
I donīt know. An impeccably brought up young lady.
No more repeats of last night.
Okay. Well, I just chose you to help!
Okay, thatīs it. Now gently slide your foot back.
So much for gently. Hold this.
You gotta think grace. You gotta think poise.
You gotta think balance.
So tell me, Obi-Wan, where did you learn your impressive skills?
Well, if you really want to know, believe it or not...
-...my mother was a deb. -Really?
Yeah, and then she chose to marry beneath her.
Her parents promptly disowned her.
But for some reason they took pity on me, their half-breed grandson.
They paid for me to go to the right schools. They got me into all the right clubs.
Until one day I realized the hypocrisy of it all.
And your parents?
Theyīre poor as church mice and theyīre the happiest people I know.
Now, enough stalling. Get up there and let me see you perform.
All right. All right.
Okay. Find your center.
Good. Thatīs it.
You know what I still donīt get?
Why are you trying so hard to fit in when youīre born to stand out?
-Hello? -Five hours ago your daughter...
...rode off on a motorcycle and hasn ī t been heard from since.
-Are we talking about a date? -I don īt know, but I dread to think.
The boyīs in some sort of band!
Really? Cool. Let me guess, heī s a drummer.
-This is serious. -As I recall...
... I spent a great deal of time on the back of your motorbike.
Yeah, well, I think thatīs rather different.
Strange how easy it comes, isnīt it?
-Does it ever go away? -No, Henry, it doesnīt.
Libby, līm sorry, līm gonna have to run.
Darling, this really is important. Iīve just had a conversation with a Bedouin translator.
Apparently there are certain drums which indicate an actual marriage...
...whereas others they just use merely for mating rituals.
-Have I just entered a parallel universe? -Don ī t you see what this means?
Itīs possible that you and Libby never had a real wedding.
So thereīs nothing to interfere with our plans! Is there?
Isnīt that good news, Henry? Henry?
Here we go.
Hang on a second.
-Hello, sir. -lan. I had no idea you were so versatile.
Henry, come along, lots to do. The assembled press are waiting.
-Hey. What are you doing here? -Another one of my glamorous jobs.
-You look beautiful. -Thanks.
-I have to be on my best behavior. -You better be.
-Thereī s more reporters here than usual. -Theyī re waiting to see what I ī ll do next.
Oh, yeah? You mean like kissing a guy who parks cars?
Daphne, the press...
-...want a photo of you and your father. -Thanks. Iīll find him.
Stay away from her, peasant. Sheīs out of your league.
Whatīs the matter? Thought our competition ended in lower school.
Afraid she might prefer musicians to Cambridge boys?
No. Breeding always wins out in the end.
Is Miss Reynolds enjoying her time in London?
-Very much. -Lord Dashwood, howīs the campaign?
Miss Reynolds, tell us about the chandelier.
Maybe thatīs enough.
Thank you, no more now.
-Do you think heīs terribly rich? -I imagine so.
-I hope so. -Peach?
Pear? You look...
-...different. -ltīs Daphne.
-She gave us some styling tips. -Why would you want tips from her?
-Charming here. -lsnīt it just?
The race is that way.
Arenīt you supposed to be escorting Clarissa?
What? And leave you to fend for yourself?
Or are you suffering from the romantic delusion...
...that some non-talent commoner will do it for you?
You know, I really wish you ī d pull your lip over your head and swallow it.
Despite myself, I find your Yankee vulgarity intensely attractive.
So forget about the car parking, mixed-race mongrel...
...and give me that kiss you ī ve been longing to give me since we first met.
You ī re right.
I have been longing to do this.
Henry, do something!
You should have hit him!
Donīt you ever pucker your lips at me, you arrogant jerk!
And how dare you insult lan?! Heīs twice the man youīll ever be!
-Henry. Henry. -Out of the way. Get out of the way.
What was the argument about?
-Give me the keys to your bike! Quick! -Here you go.
Whatīs going on?
You do know how to drive--
That is without doubt the most indecorous thing I have done in years.
Well, I have no idea what youīre talking about, but līm glad.
You should do it more often.
I donīt even remember the last time I went barefoot.
Donīt you just love squidging your toes in the sand?
Did you know itīs a natural exfoliant?
Mom says if you can walk on a beach and you got a steady hand with nail polish...
...thereīs no reason to ever pay for a pedicure.
-You talk just like her, you know. -As in too much?
Is she happy?
Yeah, I think so. I mean, I can tell she gets lonely sometimes...
...but I think sheīs pretty content with who she is.
-I like that about her. -I wish I were more like that.
So, what next?
-No. No, absolutely not. -ltīs this or that.
I think weīll do this one.
Howīre you doing?
That doesnīt sound pleasant.
-What do you think? -ltīs just henna.
-Whatīs this? -I told you how groovy I was?
-Yeah. -And I used to like people like this guy.
Oh, look. This stuff is good.
Iīve been looking for Coo Coo Ow! Strange, funky sounds.
I remember them. " Doris."
-Come on, Henry. -līm not gonna head bang.
-You just bang your head. -Donīt do that. No.
-Nod! -līm not gonna do that. All right. Letīs go.
I was just-- I wanted to see if they still fit.
Well, they seem fine.
Who are you? What have you done with my fiancé?
I want my Henry back.
-Lord Dashwood. -Lord Dashwood.
Youīve dropped 1 5 points in the polls.
-Are you worried? -I really canīt comment.
If you canīt handle your own child, how can you handle the government?
-Frank, good to see you. -Could you answer, please?
-How much time do we have? -Plenty.
Your first two clients were no-shows and...
...you got out of your speech at the Children ī s Education Center.
-Why would we have canceled that speech? -We didnīt. They did.
Daphne, can I have a word?
This is Brigadier Sir Roderick Dashwood. He lost an eye at the Battle of the Boyne.
And over here we have Field Marshal Bingley Dashwood.
He lost his arm at the Battle of the Nile.
And Uncle Alfred never spoke about what he lost, but youīd rarely find him sitting.
I lost my tonsils. Does that mean I qualify?
Part of the burden of being a member of this family is that there are certain...
...codes of behavior that one is expected to observe.
And if one is not seen to conform, then....
Well, then it becomes....
Listen, I ī ve very much enjoyed our time together.
Really and truly. Itī s just that this....
These are very difficult circumstances...
...and you, as my daughter, have to....
I have to change.
Itī s okay, I get it.
-I ī m.... I ī m a Dashwood too, right? -Yes.
Yes, you are.
What are you looking at? I can do it.
Not wearing that to The Strokes concert, are you?
Oh, my God, I totally forgot!
-Things have been so hectic. -Thatīs okay.
Iīll wait for you to get changed.
I canīt go. Weīre going to the queenīs garden party.
-Yeah, but.... -līm sorry.
Just call me when Daphne re-inhabits your body.
-And this is Miss Daphne Reynolds. -Oh, Daphne.
I gather Her Majestyīs accepted an invitation to Daphneīs ball.
Sheīs come a long way, I must say. You must be very proud of her.
This is the tiara that I wore at my own coming-out party.
Clarissaīs had her beady eye on it for months.
But I want you to have it.
-So royal. -I hope it makes you feel like a princess.
But you know, my dear, itīs not the crown that makes the queen.
Itīs whatīs in here.
Well, yes, of course.
Here she comes.
-You look.... -Different?
-Can we talk for a sec? -ltīs your party.
-You can do whatever you want. -lan.
-I really didnīt-- -I donīt want to hear about it, Daph.
What happened to the old you? The real you?
Okay, lads, letīs pick up the tempo.
What are you doing here?
Jocelyn thought you might need a pal while being fed to the sharks.
Oh, honey, you look so beautiful.
Look at you, Mom!
Are you actually wearing a bra?
-Hello, Lucy. Iīm Glynnis, Henryīs fiancée. -ltīs Libby, actually. And congratulations.
Well, what a lovely surprise. I see youīve come with no escort.
Henry, you must find somebody divine for Lubby here to dance with.
And why doesnīt he just ask her himself?
This is fantastic. Everyone important has accepted their invitation.
-Weīve got the election in the bag. -How can you be so calm?
Her Majesty is due any moment and your candidate is dancing with that woman.
Henry knows whatīs at stake.
Besides, look what he did with Daphne. Quite an achievement.
I thought I was going to have to get rid of her, like her mother, but--
What did you just say?
-Did you say you got rid of my mother? -Figure of speech.
-Are you the one that made her leave? -Daphne, darling, now is not the time.
-Come on now, don ī t linger! -Hey, but-- Glynnis!
-How dare he! -Come on.
-Come on! -Glynnis, let go!
-Get in here! -Glynnis! Let go!
Get in here!
Glynnis! Glynnis! Glynnis!
Remember the ritual dances?
You were so bad theyīre still blaming you for the locusts.
-I recall your frock nearly got us arrested. -I had you translate my apology.
-Which was something of a risk, I thought. -I know it. You could ī ve been...
-...trading me in for a goat. -Camel, actually.
Which never came through, by the way.
I had faith in you, Henry.
Just not enough?
You didnīt say goodbye. You just disappeared.
-lt was what you wanted. -What I wanted?
-What I wanted was to be given a chance. -You have had 1 7 years of chances, Henry...
...and I ī ve had 1 7 years of waiting for you to take them.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
...the traditional father-daughter dance. Lord Dashwood?
-Where is Daphne? -līll find her.
Oh, no. Has Daphne gone missing again?
Maybe Clarissa can step in. You wouldnīt mind, would you?
No. Iīm almost your daughter now too.
-Help! Someone! -Daphne?
I canīt miss my own father-daughter dance!
-How dare you, Glynnis? How dare you! -We donīt want a scene, do we?
Take your hand off my daughter or you wonīt get a scene, youīll get a Broadway musical.
-Daphne.... -What are you doing?
Finally giving you what you deserve.
I donīt want it.
Any of it.
Iīm done waiting, Henry.
You know, when I was little, every birthday līd get all dressed up and līd wish...
...that if I was good enough, youīd come and find me.
And now here I am, in the most beautiful dress I could ever imagine...
...and youīre here.
You know what I miss now? I miss being me.
I finally realized that that is enough.
You know, Daphne....
Maybe weīre just trying to make something work here which isnīt.
Pray be upstanding for Her Majesty, the queen.
Come on, honey.
-Lord Dashwood! What is your priority? -Thank you very much.
-The election or your daughter? -I have no comment.
-Couldn ī t you sleep either? -No.
Made a bit of a mess of things, haven ī t l?
Henry, for six centuries this family has been sacrificing bits of itself for England.
Arms, legs, eyes. The battlefields of Europe are littered with them.
Donīt follow in that glorious tradition.
You know what youīre going to sacrifice?
Your heart, Henry.
Well, over the last few weeks, līve certainly...
...received more support and encouragement from this constituency...
...than I ī d ever dared hoped for. So I ī d like to take this opportunity to thank you all.
You may have noticed that recently there have been one or two remarks in the press.
Regarding my behavior.
Itīs been suggested līve not been conducting myself in a manner befitting an MP.
Well, līve been giving my priorities a great deal of thought...
...and līve decided that itīs time to get them straight.
Which is why I must now respectfully withdraw my candidacy.
Representing you would undoubtedly be the greatest honor of my political life.
It would simply be impossible to do so if līm not serving my own conscience.
And as important as my political aspirations are to me...
...there is one thing that matters more.
Are you out of your mind?
I have done everything to get you to this position...
...and I will not let you throw it all away!
Youīve lied to me, I know you lied to Libby...
...so forgive me if I donīt give a flying fart what you think.
Libby? I stopped you from ruining your life!
I saved your familyīs reputation!
When I found out that girl was pregnant, I knew I was doing the right thing.
-You knew about Daphne? -Of course I knew! Itīs my job to know!
-Grandpa! Are you okay? -Oh, God.
-This is horrible. -Do shut up!
Henry, darling! I know Daddyīs been naughty, but what about me?
Hey. Table six is screaming for coffee. Whatīre you doing, anyway?
Sorry, itīs my college applications. Due on Monday.
Okay, līll cover for you.
-Thank you. -Good luck.
Ladies and gentlemen, the bride would like to share a dance with her father.
I love you, Dad.
-What are you doing here? -I just came because l....
I had something very important to say to you...
...and I hope I can.... Actually, I wrote it all down on the plane about....
About 200 times, as you....
It was on a.... I have it....
What it comes down to is....
Is that I love you, Daphne.
I love you. I ī m so sorry.
I wouldn ī t change you, anything about you. I wouldn ī t change one hair on your head.
-Not for anything-- -I love you, Dad. I love you!
Might I have the honor of this dance?
Listen, Daphne, l....
I just think when youīre groveling itīs important to bring a very large present.
-I donīt understand. -May I cut in?
I tried to call you....
You never did want me to go, did you?
There never was anyone else, was there?
Iīd say I owe you a rather large apology.
You think līve waited 1 7 years for an apology?
So I finally got my father-daughter dance.
Of course, it got interrupted when my boyfriend showed up.
And then my parents started making out.
But sometimes things aren īt exactly how you always imagined.
Theyīre even better.
Oh, just in case you were wondering what happened to Clarissa and Glynnis...
...don īt worry. They ended up exactly as they should.
--the rustication, then it gets smoother--
-Big Ben. -So did Alistair.
I can see the smiles. For those of you who speak English...
...itī s not the name of a large hamburger at a fast food restaurant.
This is the closest he got to Parliament.
My parents got married again. This time, it was legal.
As for me, I didn īt end up at NYU.
But before you get too disappointed, I did get into Oxford.
What can I say? Like father, like daughter.
It was my own happily ever after.