While You Were Sleeping
This will be|an everlasting love
This will be|the one līve waited for
This will be|the first time anyone
Has loved me-e-e
Loving you|is some kind of wonderful
Because youīve shown me|just how much you care
Youīve given me|the thrill of a lifetime
And made me believe youīve|got more thrills to spare, oh
This will be|You and me
Hugginī and squeezinī|and kissinī and pleasinī
Together forever|through rain and whatever
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah|You and me
So long as līm livinī|True love līll be givinī
To you līll be servinī|īCause youīre so deservinī
Hey, youīre so deservinī
Youīre so deservinī|Yeah, yeah, yeah
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
From now on|From now on
From now on|From now on
From now on|From now on
From now on
Okay, there are two things that|l remember about my childhood.
l just donīt remember|it being this orange.
First, l remember|being with my dad.
He would get these far-off looks|in his eye, and he would say,
īīLife doesnīt always turn out|the way you plan.īī
l just wish l realized at the time|he was talking about my life.
But that never stopped us from|taking our adventures together.
He would pack up|our sometimes-working car,
and he would tell me|amazing stories...
about strange|and exotic lands...
as we headed off to|exciting destinations like...
ltīs amazing how exotic|Wisconsin... isnīt.
But my favorite memories|were the stories...
that he would tell me|about my mom.
He would take me to the church|where they got married...
and līd beg him to tell me more|about the ceremony...
and about|my crazy Uncle lrwin...
who fell asleep|in the macaroni and cheese.
And l asked my dad|when he knew...
that he truly loved my mom.
And he said to me,|īīLucy, your mother...
īīgave me a special gift.
She gave me the world.īī
Actually it was a globe|with a light in it.
But for the romantic that he was,|it might as well have been the world.
Well, the first time|l saw him,
he didnīt exactly|give me the world.
lt was a $1.50 train token.
Uh, but l-l looked forward to it|every single day.
He started coming to my booth|between 8:01 and 8:15...
every morning,|Monday through Friday.
And he was just perfect.|My Prince Charming.
Well, weīve nev-- Weīve|never actually spoken.
But l know someday we will.|l know it. l just know it.
And l know that someday l will|find a way to introduce myself,
and, and thatīs|gonna be perfect.
Just like my prince.
Forty-five dollars for a Christmas tree|and they donīt deliver?
You order $10 worth of chow mein from|Mr. Wongīs, they bring it to your door.
Oh! Ooh, l shouldīve gotten the|blue spruce. Theyīre lighter.
Nature of claim:|Christmas tree through window.
H-How am l gonna put that on my|insurance? Theyīre still pissed...
about the fire we had when Joe|Jr. barbecued in the stairwell.
- l missed that one.|- Oh, great sausage.
- Look, l-līll pay for this.|- Thatīs okay, Lucy.
My brother Julieīs|in the glass business.
Oh... l almost forgot.
Ah, Lucy. You, you|didnīt have to do that.
- Well, l wanted to.|- l havenīt even gotten|to my shopping yet.
Hey, Pop. Could l give that|bottle of Blue Nun you got...
from Cousin Ornella|to my probation officer?
Do you see weīve got|some company?
- Say hello.|- Hello, Luce.
- sweater.|- Thank you.
ltīs over there.
Lucy, youīre a nice girl.|Joe Jr.īs still single.
Yeah, itīs a shocker.
- What do you have?|- Oh, the usual.
- Whatīs that?|- Mustard. Coke.
- Lucy! Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.|- Hi, Jerry.
- līm glad to find you here.|- l was hoping youīd find me in Bermuda.
Bermuda?|Oh, thatīs good.
l am recommending you|for Employee of the Month.
- Really? l didnīt know there|was an employee of the month.|- Oh, yeah.
īīSupervisor Jerry Wallace|nominates Lucy Moderatz...
īīfor Employee of the Month.
īīLucy is never tardy,|always works holidays...
īīeven if she has worked|the previous holiday.
īīJust because she worked Thanksgiving,|Lucy is willing to work Christmas tooīī?
Jerry, līm not|working Christmas.
- Ah, youīll get a nice plaque|with the mayorīs stamp on it.|- l didnīt vote.
- You get to ride on a float|St. Paddyīs day.|- l hate parades.
- Did l mention extra holiday pay?|- l hate you.
Look, Violet is sick|and Celeste canīt switch...
because sheīs got some|big family thing.
And l promised my kids|līd be there for them this year.
- lt stinks, Jerry.|- l know it isnīt fair,|and l canīt make you do it.
But, Lucy, youīre the only one--
Merry Merry Christmas
Merry Merry Christmas
Christmas in the air
Christmas in Chicago
New York too
Way down in New Orleans
And right here with you
Merry Merry Christmas
- Santa Claus is cominī to town|- Come on, Richie.
Jingle bells are ringinī
- Hi. Merry Christmas.|- Mistletoeīs all around
Nice coat.|Merry Christmas to you too.
Youīre beautiful.|Will you marry me?
l love you.
- Yo!|- Hey!
- Nice coat.|- ltīs Christmas.
- Look, l donīt want any trouble. Oh!|- Shit!
Letīs go! Letīs go!|Letīs go!
Somebody help me, please!|Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Can, can you get up?|God, sir, this is not good.
Oh, god, mister, um,|can you--
Are you breathing?|Oh, god, you smell good!
Please wake up. Please.|Please. Oh, god.
Can you wake up?|Can you hear me? Um--
Oh, god!|Wake up!
Somebody help me please!
Mister? Mister! Thereīs a train|coming and itīs fast.
ltīs an express!
-All right, bring him down here.|-Bring him through here.|-l need a doctor here.
Dr. Stevens.|Dr. Jessica Stevens.
Hi, um, excuse me.|About two seconds ago, a guy--
- A man was brought in.|l-l, l donīt know it.|- All right. Whatīs his name?
- l need to know his name.|You donīt know his name?|- Heīs right-- Heīs right there.
-Why donīt you--|-Okay. No, no, you canīt go in--|-Ho, ho, you canīt go in there.
- No, no, you,|you donīt understand.|- Are you family?
- Family only.|- No, you donīt understand,|īcause l was--
You wait there.
Okay, guys,|what do we got here?
- Oh, l was gonna marry him.|- Get Dr. Ortiz here.
Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West.
- Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West.|- Come on, come with me. Over here.
- Let him hear your voice, hon.|- Okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.|l know it.
- ltīs gonna be fine.|- Excuse me. ls that the woman|that saved his life?
- Yeah.|- Whoa.
lt gets even better than that.|Sheīs his fiancee.
Excuse me, maīam. līm sorry,|but l need to ask you a few questions.
- O-Okay.|- Officer, may l interrupt you?|- Oh, sure. līll be right over there.
Thank you. Thank you.|līm Dr. Rubin.
- Hi, līm Lucy.|- Donīt tell me about passes!
- Where the hell is he?|- Dad, donīt embarrass me.|- Ooh, heīs so pale. My god!
- What is this?|- This is my son. How is he?|- How depressing!
- You canīt come bursting|into this unit!|- Heīll be all right, right?
-Right?|-What happened? Whatīs going on?|-Heīs in a coma.
- On Christmas day.|- Jesus!
- His vital signs are strong.|His brain waves are good.|- Brain waves.
- l think heīs gonna get through this.|- Are you a specialist?
- How did this happen?|- Um, he was pushed from the|platform at the train station.
- Whoīs she?|- Sheīs his fiancee.
- His fiancee?|- Yeah.|- Peterīs fiancee?
- Peterīs engaged?|- Yeah, l thought--
- No, you donīt understand.|- Wait. Wait.|- Hold it.
- He wouldīve told us, right?|- Now, please. Please.|- He shouldīve told us.
- Maybe he was busy.|- Too busy to tell his own|mother heīs getting married?
- No, no, no, donīt yell at him.|- līm not yelling at him.|lf only Jack were here.
- Grandma?|- ls she okay?
Sheīs got a little heart problem.|Sheīs had three attacks already.
- They werenīt attacks.|They were episodes.|- Oh, geez!
-Nothing wrong with her hearing.|-Excuse me, Doctor.|What is she doing in here?
-Hey, buddy. She saved his life.|-You saved his life?
- Yeah, yeah, but, l--|- l thought he was pushed off|a train platform.
- She jumped on the tracks.|- You jumped on the tracks?
- Yeah.|- Doctor, itīs supposed|to be family only.
- She is family.|- Sheīs the fiancee, you idiot!
- Okay, look, l-līm sorry. You,|you, you donīt understand.|- līm awfully sorry. We havenīt...
seen him for a long time,|so we didnīt know.
l always wanted him|to find a nice girl.
līm so glad he found you.
- What-- Why did you say that?|līm not his fiancee.|- Say what?
- Why did you tell me that you were?|- līm not engaged. līve never|even spoken to the guy.
What? Well, down-- downstairs you said,|you said you were gonna marry him.
Ah, geez,|l was talking to myself.
Well, next time you talk to|yourself, tell yourself youīre|single and end the conversation.
- What am l gonna do?|- l donīt know.
She held me so tight. l-l-- You know,|l couldnīt-- l couldnīt tell her.
- l know.|- Excuse me, nurse.
- ls there a pharmacy in the hospital?|- Uh, what, what do you need?
Elsie. She wants,|uh, nitroglycerin.
- Oh, for her heart problem?|- Problem? Problems!
You know somethinī,|l think you saved her life.
ln fact, l think you saved|the whole family. Bless you.
Why donīt you come with me.|līll take you down there.
So, tell us how|you met Peter?
Ma, she doesnīt wanna|talk about that now, okay?
Why not? We could all|use a nice story.
- How do you know it was nice?|- Of course it was nice.|Why shouldnīt it be nice?
What about that other girl? Whatīs her|name? The one he met in the bar?
Whatīs that got to do|with the price of eggs?
- Ashley Bartlett Bacon.|- Ox.
All l know is she was pretty|high and mighty for someone|named after breakfast meat.
Well, he has a nice girl now.
So, did you-- did you|steal him from Ashley?
l bet it was love|at first sight. Right?
l have a sense|about these things.
- Elsie, let her tell it.|- She is telling it.
l bet that he picked you up|in that fancy car of his.
What was it about him that,|you know, that first struck you?
lt was his, uh, smile.
Theyīre caps.|Six hundred bucks a tooth.
We saw each other,|and, um...
he, uh, smiled.
And l knew that...|my life would never be the same.
Tomorrow night, 8:00.
l got lce Capades.|l know a guy.
Um--|Bet youīre wondering...
what līm doing here|in the middle of the night, huh?
Well, l-l thought|l should introduce myself.
My nameīs Lucy.|Lucy Eleanor Moderatz.
l think you should know your|family thinks weīre engaged.
Never been engaged before.|This is all very sudden for me.
What, what|l really came here,
uh, to tell you|was that, um...
l didnīt, l didnīt mean|for this to happen.
l, l donīt know|what to do.
l mean, if, if, you were awake,|l-l wouldnīt be in this mess.
Oh, god. Not that|līm blaming you. Sorry.
ltīs just that, you know,|when l was, when l was a kid,
l always imagined|what l would...
be like|or where l would be...
or what l would have|when l got older.
And, you know,|it was the normal stuff.
You know, līd have a house|and family and things like that.
Not-- You know, not that līm,|līm complaining or anything.
īCause, you know, l have,|l have, l have a cat.
l have an apartment,|um--
Sole possession of the remote|control. Thatīs very important.
l never met anybody that|l could laugh with, you know?
Do you believe in love|at first sight?
Nah, l bet you donīt. Youīre|probably too sensible for that.
Or have you ever like|seen somebody and,
and you knew that if only|that person really knew you...
they would, well, of course, dump|the perfect model that they were with...
and, and realize that you were|the one that they wanted...
to just grow old with.
Have you ever fallen in love with|somebody you havenīt even talked to?
Have you ever been so alone you spend|the night confusing a man in a coma?
Bryan Lynch.|Mr. Bryan Lynch,
please call|Amber Lynch at 2617.
Oh, my god.
- Lucy!|- Hi.|- We didnīt know you were here.
- Hi.|- Hi. Were you here all night?
Youīre like me.|l could always sleep anywhere.
And believe me, she has.
Wait to go, Gram!
- So, howīs Peter?|- Oh, well, heīs got more color.
- He has some color.|Looks like he has some color.|- Yeah.
Well, l, l have to go, so it|was great to see you guys again.
- Tell her. Go on, tell her.|- Yeah.
We didnīt get to, uh,|celebrate Christmas, so, uh,
it would be nice|if you could join us.
Oh, um-- Oh, l-l-l would|love to, but l, l canīt.
- Jackīs gonna be there.|- Thatīs right.|You havenīt met Jack yet.
- No, not yet.|- Oh, heīll be so happy to meet you.
- So youīll come tonight?|- l, l, l really shouldnīt|because l have to work.
-l canīt.|-Well, look here. Put your phone|number and address down there.
- Midgeīll call you|and talk you into it.|- Okay.
And hereīs another card|for when you change your mind.
Weīre in the estate|furniture business.
We buy furniture|from dead people.
Okay. All right, well|l have, l have it.
- So, bye. Bye.|- Bye, dear. See you later.
- Maīam? Excuse me, maīam.|- What? What is this?
līm sorry, Mrs. Callaghan.|These are your husbandīs things.
- Heīs not my husband!|- līm sorry. Your fiancee.
Uh, youīre Peterīs fiancee?
- Okay.|- Dalton Clark.
Colleague of Peterīs at Lubel,|Parker, Jacobs and Fink.
- l have to go now.|- Oh, heīs a great guy.
Heīs had a tough year. What,|with the accident last month and all.
- Accident?|- Well, of course it was an accident?
l mean, it wasnīt my--|Did he tell you it was my fault?
Weīre playing basketball,|all right? l carry a pencil!
- līm a lawyer! l do that!|- Okay.
- Jesus, whatīs he telling--|- ltīs gonna be okay.
- So whatīs the big deal?|- Whatīs the big deal?
Jerry, they think līm their|future daughter-in-law.
And the grandmother,|then sheīs got this heart thing.|And if l tell her the truth,
sheīs gonna have a heart attack,|and sheīs gonna die,|and itīs gonna be on my head.
Well, then, go along with it.
And when Peter comes|out of the coma,
the familyīll be so happy|they wonīt care that you lied to them.
Theyīll probably even|thank you for it.
- Okay. What if he doesnīt|come out of his coma?|- Well, then whoīs to know?
- l donīt know. Oh, no.|- Ah. Look, look, Lucy.
When my mother found out l|was getting married to my wife,|her intestines exploded.
- Now, you tell them now--|- Oh, my god.
- Huh, you might as well shoot Grandma.|- Oh!
Come on, Mel.
What am l doing?
- Lucy!|- Hi, Saul, hi.
- You made it, huh?|- Yeah.
- How you feel?|- Okay. Okay.
Come on, keep me company for a while.|l donīt like to smoke in the house.
- Okay. līm trying to quit.|- Listen-- You want one?
Thatīs good.|Here, sit down.
-They donīt bother you, do they?|-Uh, no, no, līm fine.
Did you know that|l was Peterīs godfather?
Really? l-l thought you|had to be Catholic for that.
- Ox fudged it over.|- Oh.
He donated 50 folding chairs|to Father Sheaīs bingo night.
You know, being a godfather|is very important to Catholics.
lt means youīre practically|part of the family.
Well, youīre lucky.|ltīs really important...
to have family around|this time of year.
Are you, uh-- l mean,|are your parents with you?
No, no. My, my mom died|when l was really young...
and, uh, a couple of years ago,|my dad got sick...
and, uh, we moved from lndiana|to Chicago so he could|go to a research hospital.
Research. A medical term|for very expensive, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
l-l-l had to quit school and|l started working for the C.T.A.
And, um, about a year ago,
he decided he had had enough|research, and he passed away.
-My wife of 51 years passed away|two years ago, February the 9.|-līm sorry.
- Yeah, it was a rough time for me.|- Yeah.
But Ox got me through.
- Youīre good friends?|- The best!
Lucy, the Callaghans,
well, they took me in|as part of their family.
līd never let anyone hurt them.
Neither would l.
l believe you wouldnīt.
Lucy? You came?
Hi, Saul. Oh, this is great!
Hey, come on in, you two. ltīs freezinī|out here. Elsie made her eggnog.
- Word to the wise: Drink soda.|- Okay.
Ox, Mom, look whoīs here.|Lucy came!
- Oh, my!|- Hi. Hi, Mary.|- ltīs gonna be like Christmas.
- Come on in. ltīs cold out there.|- These are for you.|- Oh, sweetheart, thank you.
- Weīve got the most wonderful dinner.|- lt smells so good. Hi.
This is so beautiful.
- Thatīs Peter on the right.|- Heīs so sweet.
- Oh, yeah, the squirrels.|- Eggnog everyone.
Ma, where are you?|līm serving your eggnog.
līm getting my camera.
- Come on, everybody.|Get close to the tree.|- Oh, Christmas pictures.
- Lucy, come on.|- Come on, Lucy.|- Come on, letīs go. Letīs go.
l-l donīt want-- l-l--
Watch the birdie.
- Oh, Ma, take it again. l blinked.|- Well, youīre lucky. līm blind.
- Oh, yeah. l love it.|- Oh. Excuse me.
- l donīt drink anymore.|- Oh.
l donīt drink any less either.
- Perhaps l should.|- You got me. You got me.
- Oh, look at this.|- Oh, more presents.|Okay, līll take these two.
- What is this?|- Whoopsie, whoopsie.|- Open it.
- What is that?|- Turn īem over.
- Pierced? Really?|- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my god! Thank you. Thank you.|- Weīll go to Walmart on Monday.
Donīt thank me. lf it was up to me,|l wouldīve gotten you a Barbie.
- Oh, did you like that?|- More presents. Oh, boy.|- lsnīt that wonderful?
- We hit the jackpot.|- Ma, this is for you.|- Thanks, dear.
- A present.|- Oh. īīTo Ox from Uncle Al.īī
- Who the hell is Uncle Al?|- Uncle Al. You know,|Uncle Al from Buffalo.
- You remember Al.|- Remember, Ma? You remember Al.|- To Lucy from Santa.
Remember Al?|He was here the night--
Once again as in olden days
- Happy golden days of yore|- Seven bow ties, l bet.
- Aw, you shouldnīt have.|- She made these.
Faithful friends|who are dear to us
Will be near to us|once more
- Oh, the gold watch! l love it!|- Someday soon we all be together
- Oh, sweetheart, itīs so expensive.|- Hey, from Louie.|l got another bow tie.
- lf the fates allow|- Oh, Gram, these are so great.|Thank you.
- Until then weīll have|to muddle through|- Hey.
- Somehow|- So pretty.
- So have yourself|- You remember Uncle Al, donīt you?
- Yeah, yeah.|- A merry little Christmas now
- l never really got him anything.|- He had a little moustache.
- He was Daddyīs friend, right?|- Yeah. Yeah!
- l know an Uncle Ed.|- No, Uncle Al.
This is Callaghan.|Leave a message...
and līll get back to you.|Ciao.
Hi, itīs Ashley. Ah,|Lisbon is absolutely gorgeous.
But līm cutting my trip short because l|have been doing a lot of thinking, and--
What the hey?|l will marry you.
- Jack! Hey, buddy! Whoa!|- Hey.
Shh. Jack.|Donīt wake Lucy.
Who-- Whoīs Lucy?
Lucyīs Peterīs fiancee.
No, thatīs not|Peterīs fiancee.
- You havenīt met her?|- No.
Well, sheīs great.|Youīre gonna love her.
You know what, kid,|maybe līll stay the night.
- Donīt eat my cereal in the morning.|- Oh, so itīs Maryīs special cereal?
The last time you took|the toy surprise, remember?
- Good morning.|- Oh, god.
Oh. Oh, you scared me.
- Sorry.|- Um, good morning, Jack.
Um, l guess l donīt|remember meeting you.
Well, itīs probably because|weīve never met.
That might have something|to do with it.
Ooh. Cab.|l have to go.
līm really-- līm really late|īcause l have to go.
But, um, l-- lt was nice|to meet you, Jack. So, good-bye.
- Lucy.|- Okay, look, l-l know that l--
- Hey.|- Hmm?
Welcome to the family.
Oh, thank you.
We pray that the Lordīs|healing presence...
will be felt by those who|are sick, and by their families.
Especially Jo-Jo Goreki,|Peter Callaghan,
Craig Little|and Peggy Dunne.
We pray to the Lord. Lord--
Lord, hear our prayer.
O God, You call us to live|as one family.
- So, whoīs this Lucy?|- Save us from the mere,|pragmatic views of today.
- Sheīs your brotherīs fiancee.|- That we may be the proof|of Your gentleness.
Youīd think if Peter|were getting married,
- We ask this through Christ our Lord.|- he would have announced it|in the Tribune.
- We read the Sun Times. Amen.|- Amen.
- So why did she sneak out this morning?|- She has a job.
l like Mass better in Latin.
ltīs nicer when you donīt|know what theyīre saying.
- Did you get the Bourbeau estate?|- Got it.
- What about Downeyīs?|- Got it.
- Himmelsteinīs?|- Yeah.
- Did you get Van Allan?|- Himmelsteinīs took too long.
- Aah, for Christīs sake, Jack.|- Stop swearing!
- Look, youīre runninī the business now.|- Thereīs something līd like|to talk to you about.
- Talk about that later, okay?|- Talk about it now.|He canīt kill you in church.
- Will you please pipe down?|- Hey, be nice, pally. Weīre in church.|- Hey.
- Youīre disrupting the Mass!|- Who made you the Pope?
- Ox!|- How did Joe Kelly get to be a lector?
- He takes marijuana.|- Amen.
- Hi, Luce.|- Hi, Lucy.
Come on,|you stupid wing nut!
Oh, your motherīs--
Excuse me?|Do you live here?
Live here?|l own this place.
Oh, great. Um--
Well, then you would know|the woman that lives in 201.
Know her?|līm dating her.
Come here, mealtime.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.|Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come here.|Come on, honey.
Where are you--
Oh, līm so sorry.
- Nice shot.|- Oh, um--
līll get you some ice.|līm sorry. l wasnīt expecting anybody.
- Hey, howīd you get in here?|- Um-- Oh.
Key? Oh, you stay here|a lot, huh?
Oh, you know, feed the cat.
Peter doesnīt have a cat.
Hello. Hello, honey.|Fluffy!
You must be so hungry.
Are you gonna get that?
Uh, no, līm, līm gonna|let the machine get it.
ltīs for you.
Um, that was the hospital.|They say itīs customary...
for friends and family|to come down and give blood.
Letīs go together.
You know what? l think maybe|we should take your truck.
Oh, no. We oughta take|Peterīs car.
- Okay.|- You know where itīs parked, donīt you?
Oh, yeah, l, uh--|Yeah.
- Hmm.|- Hmm.
Hey, weīll have to get|your picture for the mantle.
- Of, of me?|- No, of you and Peter.
- līm, līm not that photogenic.|- l doubt that.
All right. Now, l want you to sit here|and sip this, or youīll get woozy.
- When did you start seeing Peter?|- September 17th.
- Three months. Thatīs quick.|- You have no idea.
- Thatīs fast. Thatīs a fast engagement.|- Miss!|- līm fine.
- Wait, līm not finished with you!|- Oh, l got it. l got it.|l got it.
What the hell heīs got a TV for?|Heīs in a coma, for Christīs sake!
Ox, shh. He might|hear you, you know.
Then get him a radio.
- Maybe heīd like us to sing to him.|- Maybe Lucy knows his favorite song.
- īīPuff, the Magic Dragon.īī|- īīDragon.īī
- Oh.|- īīDragon.īī|- Huh?
- Which one of the Three Stooges|was Peterīs favorite?|- Curley.
- Heīs everybodyīs favorite.|- No, l like Shemp.
- Favorite ice cream.|- Baskin-Robbins.
- Favorite baseball team.|- Chicago.
- Cubs or White Sox?|- What the heck is going on?
Why are you asking her|all these questions?
Donīt ask me,|ask her boyfriend.
That isnīt very funny,|you know.
- No, no, not this boyfriend.|- Heīs--
Joe-- Joe Jr.
Mm-hmm, thatīs right.|Mr. Joe Fusco, Jr.
He said that|you were intimate.
Yeah, well, he also said he invented|aluminum foil. Heīs delusional.
He was very lucid|when l talked to him.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
- Ma, you okay?|- You see what you did?
- What did l do?|- Now, if she wanted|to prove it, sheīd prove it.
Peter has one testicle.
- No way.|- Way.
About a month ago|there was an accident...
and he was playing basketball and his|friend had a pencil in his back pocket.
- Oh, no!|- Well, somebodyīs gotta look.
Donīt look at me.
- No.|- Yeah, maybe, uh--
ltīs not--|ltīs not my, uh, uh--
Okay, līm his mother.
Oh, Mom! Eww!
Well, look at|the bright side.
Heīs got more room|in his Jockey shorts.
- Who is it?|- What gives?
- You stood me up.|- For what?
- Our date.|- What date?
To the lce Capades.|l had to eat your ticket.
l never said l would|go on a date with you.
- Yes you did. Yes you did!|- No, l didnīt. No, l didnīt!
- Did too! Did! Did!|- Didnīt! Didnīt! Didnīt!
- Who is it?|- Lucy, itīs Saul.
- Oh, my god.|- What, are ya two-timinī Joe, Jr.?
līm not two-timing.|l never one-timed.
- Hey, līll fight the guy.|- Hey, get in the closet.
- Not a word.|- Nice panties.
l like boxer shorts, but,|uh, līll try these, eh--
- Sorry.|- Have you got company?
- No. TV. ltīs on... next door.|- Oh.
Um... you, uh, want some coffee|or tea or something?
No, no.|Not a-- Not a thing.
- Lucy, thereīs something|you should know.|- What?
Well, the night you visited|Peter, l was outside the door.
l know the truth.
Sorry, Saul. You now, you do--|You donīt have to worry, īcause|līm gonna tell them everything.
Donīt tell them a thing.
Remember the day you said youīd-- youīd|never do anything to hurt the family?
- Yeah?|- Well, since they met you,|they figure they have Peter back.
Now, if you tell them the truth,|eh, itīll take him away again.
They need you, Lucy.|Just like you need them.
Now, look,|l know youīre a good girl.
And l know youīll do|the right thing.
- Thank you.|- Yeah. Yes, you will.
Oh-Oh, oh, by the way,|how did you know about the--
Peter with the one, uh--
You know something?|l donīt wanna know.
- Bye.|- Ooh!
- Oh, god! Whatīre you-- What--|- Aah!
- What are you doing?|- l slipped.
Youīre trying on my shoes?
No! When l fell, my foot went|like that, right into the shoe.
- Who is it?|- ltīs me, Jack Callaghan.
- My god, doesnīt anybody|use a phone anymore?|- l do.
līm not talking|about 900 numbers.
Hi. So, more questions?
No, l have an engagement present|for you.
Uh, you really|shouldnīt have.
l didnīt.|ltīs from my parents.
ltīs furniture.|You want me to bring it up?
Hey, was that Saul|l saw leaving?
- Cat.|- Big cat.
Um, l th-- l think y--|l think you should, um,
bring it to, uh, t--|bring it to Peterīs apartment.
- You donīt know what it is.|- Well, you know,
anything would look nicer|in Peterīs apartment.
You know what?|līll come with you.
You know what?|l think you parked too clo--
You know, l think you parked|too close to the other car.
Had to. We gotta|unload the furniture.
Ready for your surprise?
Oh, that is great.
That is so great.
- You like that?|- Yeah.
Too bad. Ox bought you|the love seat.
- Oh, līm sorry.|- Donīt be. l made this.
- This? No, you didnīt.|- Shocking, isnīt it?
- Can l sit in it?|- Rock out.
My god, this is perfect. You should|go into business or something.
Well, then it gets tricky.
Oh, yeah, working with your dad|and everything, right?
The business used to be called|Callaghan and Sons,
and then when Peter went off to|law school it became Callaghan and Son.
lf l were to leave,|itīd just be Callaghan.
- Letīs take a second here|and unlock the doors off--|- No-No, l got it, l got it.
- Oh.|- See? Here we go.
Oh, this technique.
ltīs always very, very,|very modern technique this way.
E-Excuse me, uh, sir,|what apartment?
Well, sir, līm sorry, but guests|have to be announced, ya know?
Well, līm with her.|līm helping her.
- So?|- You donīt know her?
Bu-But līm new here.
Oh, well, sheīs Peter|Callaghanīs fiancee in 57G.
Ohh! Oh, yeah.
They told me about her, sir.|Sheīs scary.
Tell me about it.
- Ooh!|- Be careful.
Uh, maybe we should, uh,|angle it a little bit.
Um... l think itīs wedged.
Why donīt you step back for a little|bit? līm gonna try an old trick.
Whatīs-Whatīs the trick?
- Push it really hard.|- īKay.
- Okay, okay, push.|- l did.
Do you want me|to help you now?
- All right, a little help|would be good.|- īKay.
īKay. One, two, three-yah!
l think the sofa|should go right there.
Oh, no!|No, no, no, look at this!
ldiot just blocked me in.
But l told you|not to park that close.
Hey, check the meter.|See what time it is.
Um, itīs six oīclock.
They can pretty much stay here|all night if they wanted to.
All night, huh?
Um, good night.
You just gonna leave me|here with the truck?
Well, maybe l oughta|walk you back.
Oh, no, līm fine.|līm okay.
For me. l donīt want|to be here by myself.
This is Chicago.
- You look cold.|- Hmm?
- You look cold.|- Wha--
Probably because l am cold.
- How about you?|- This jacketīs reversible.
- līm wearing the warm side now.|- Oh, l see!
You need a better coat.
What? This was my dadīs.
Ahh, then heīs|probably freezing.
He passed away.
- Sorry.|- ltīs not your fault.
Passed away last year.
l donīt even|remember my mom, so--
What was he like?
He was a lot like me.|Dark hair, flat chest.
What do you remember|most about him?
Oh-ho, that. Okay.
He liked maps.
Yeah, l live by maps.|My truckīs filled with them.
He used to hear of a place|on the TV,
we would pull out the atlas,|weīd find where it was.
Weīd route out this, like,|little way to get there.
lf there were one place in the|world where youīd go, where--
- Florence.|- ltaly, ooh.
l havenīt delivered any furniture|to Florence yet, but līm told itīs nice.
- Yeah.|- l take it youīve never been there.
Well, you know, the El doesnīt exactly|make it all the way to Florence, so--
Oh, but l do have...
- my passport.|- You have your passport!
- Yes, l do!|- With you?
Yes. Well, just in case l need|to quickly leave the country,
- you need to have--|- Thatīs perfect. Thatīs great.|Oh, youīre right.
Youīre not very photogenic|at all.
Just joking.|There arenīt any stamps in that.
Yeah, well, l havenīt|gone anywhere yet.
But, you now, līm planning|a trip to Florence really soon,
so, you know, līll go.
Thatīll make your dad|very proud.
You know,|in a very small way,
you kind of remind me|of him a little bit.
l see. So, he was a classy guy,|always a gentleman.
- A working man who--|- Who just stepped in doggy poopy.
Thatīs, now thatīs classy.|Thatīs classy!
All right, tell me more.|Whereīd you grow up.
God, youīve just become|Mr. Chatty this evening.
Fact of the matter is,|līm about to start shivering,
and making conversation|keeps my face from freezing.
Thank you. l had, um,|l had a good time.
- Oh.|- Mm.
S-S-Slippery here. Come on.
Got this far. līll take you|the rest of the way.
Well, you gotta watch out.|A little icy.
So, um, you gonna go|see Peter tomorrow?
Oh. Whoa-oa-oa! Whoa!
- All right--|- Do not take me with you!
- No, itīs all right.|ltīs not too bad, yeah.|- You got it?
- You got it? Okay.|- Yeah.
Wow. Get this--|This is t-- This is big.
This-- There we go.
- Okay!|- All right. Are ya all right?
This is-- Oh-- Mm.
- All right?|- Yeah.
- l think weīre all right now.|- Okay?
- Yeah. ltīs just, uh--|- Okay.
- Over this way? Okay.|- This way.
- Ow! Ohh!|- What was that?
Was that my pants|or my muscles?
Oh! Give me your hand.|Give me your hand.
- Whoa-ho!|- Okay. Come on!
- Hmm.|- Oh, man!
You have an extra pair|of pants in your apartment?
lf you fit into my pants,|l will kill myself.
- You donīt have to follow me.|- No, you block the wind.
līll wait ītil|ya get inside.
Well, good night.
So līll see you|when l see you?
All right, Lucy,|itīs either me or him.
You donīt have to answer|right away.
līm having an affair.|l like Jack.
- Whoīs Jack?|- Peterīs brother.
- So?|- So he thinks līm engaged.
- To who?|- To Peter.
Lucy, l really donīt|have time for this.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.|You have to tell me what to do.
- Tell the truth.|- lf l tell Jack|that l lied to his family,
he will never|speak to me again.
And-And-And Ox and Midge|and Mary and-and-and Saul--
Saul? Whoīs Saul?
Heīs a next-door neighbor.
But you know what?|Actually, he knows.
Lucy, youīre born|into a family.
You do not join them|like you do the marines.
You have to tell me|what to do.
Pull the plug.
- You are sick.|- līm sick?
Youīre cheating|on a vegetable.
Down and dirty.
Are you gonna fold?|Youīre not gonna fold.
Ooh, he is staying in|with a pair.
Very impressive.|Very bold, confident.
Full house.|You are unlucky at cards.
But lucky in love.
īMember in like, uh,|fifth or sixth grade,
l was starting to get|really good at poker, and, uh,
goinī home|with lots of lunch money?
l got to know the principalīs|office really well.
He always used to say to me,
īīHow come you canīt be|more like your brother Peter?īī
Well, you know what?|l was all right with that.
l had no problems with that|because l was proud of you.
And l was never envious|of anything that you had.
līll cut the deck.|High card gets Lucy.
All right, weīll go|best out of three.
So, Lucy, have you and Peter decided|where youīre gonna go on your honeymoon?
l went to Cuba.
Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
- Didnīt Peter look great today?|- Oh, that kid.
- You know, he should have|been an actor.|- Heīs tall.
All the great ones were tall.
Lucy, you think you can find me|a nice girl for Jack?
- Oh, Mom, come on.|- Well, l-l-l-l--
l really donīt know Jackīs type,|so līm not one to, um--
l like blondes.|Chubby ones.
- Alan Ladd wasnīt tall.|- Marshal Dillon was six-foot-five.
Well, we all know|who Lucyīs type is.
These mashed potatoes|are so creamy.
You like brunettes.
l could never make|a good pot roast.
You need good beef.
Argentina has great beef.|Beef and Nazis.
John Wayne was tall.
Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Would you want to see|Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
- These mashed potatoes are so creamy.|- Spain has good beef.
- Mary mashed them.|- Cesar Romero was tall.
Cesar Romero was not Spanish.
l didnīt say Cesar Romero|was Spanish.
- Well, what did you say?|- l said Cesar Romero was tall.
- We all know heīs tall.|- Well, thatīs what l said.
Cesar Romero is tall.|Thatīs all l said.
So if you need any help|with history, donīt call me.
Now, remember, honey, if youīre free|for New Yearīs, we want to see you.
Thank you very much.|l had a great time.
- Us too.|- Thank you. Bye.|- Thanks for coming.
- Bye.|- Bye-bye, Lucy.|- Bye-bye. Good night.
Hey, look, you guys.|Youīre under the mistletoe.
- Kiss her, then.|- Yeah.
- ltīs mistletoe.|- ltīs tradition.|- ltīs Christmas.
Come on, idiot. Kiss her.
- There ya go.|- Oh, yeah.|- Bye.
- Good night. Bye.|- Good night.|- Good night.
- Good night.|- Come on, Mary. Weīre both|on dish detail tonight.
- One token, please.|- Oh, my god! Mary!|What are you doing here?
Hi. Do you guys wanna--|you wanna come through?
- We can?|- Yeah, absolutely.
- Hi.|- Hey, whoīs this?
- līm Mary. This is Beth.|- Hi.
Um, Maryīs-- Maryīs my, um--
Lucyīs going to marry|my brother Peter.
What? Lucy,|youīre gettinī married?
Well, it hasnīt really|been announced.
So itīs a little awkward for me|to say anything, and, um--
- The train. Your-- Okay.|- The train. Okay.|Uh, līll see you later.
Thank you for coming.|ltīs nice to meet you, Beth.
- Girl, are you pregnant?|- Yes, līm pregnant, Celeste.
Lucy, youīre not tellinī me whatīs|goinī on! Youīre not givinī me details.
- Whatīs goinī on?|- Okay, Celeste.
Celeste, you have to have sex|in order to be pregnant.
But l thought you were engaged.
Well, weīre-- Weīre waiting.
Peter? Hi, itīs Ashley.
ls, is|this machine working?
Look, līm back in Chicago|and, uh, līm kind of shocked|that you havenīt called me back.
Look, l really would, uh, like to hear|from you, and līd like to see my cat.
New Yearīs Eve|hasnīt been the same...
since Guy Lombardo died.
l love a clarinet.
You know, nobody plays|a clarinet anymore.
Guy Lombardo didnīt play|the clarinet.
l didnīt say Guy Lombardo|played the clarinet.
- You know, your Benny Goodman,|- Hey, Pop.
- he could play the licorice stick.|- We got the Van Allan estate.
- Hey, way to go. Attaboy!|- Oh. Thatīs great.|- Congratulations.
- Thatīs great. Attaboy.|- Way to go.|- Hey, everybody.
How did you find out?|What do you mean sheīs pregnant?
- How do you know?|- Where have you been?|- Thatīs what Beth said.
- We heard it at the token booth today.|- Jack, do you know anything about this?
Go up to your room.
- Who is it?|- Joe Jr.
līm not here.
l know that trick.
Hey, my old manīs|got a set of keys.
That is illegal,|and you know it, Joey.
- Ta-da!|- l told īem to give me...
the same ones they use in the|winnerīs circle at Arlington.
But l canīt accept them.
l could move in here. l bet you Pop|would knock 50 bucks off the rent.
l have six months left to live.
Aw, youīre just tryinī|to make me feel better.
- ltīs that other guy, isnīt it?|- What do you mean?
l seen the way you look at him.
What? How do l--|How do l look at him?
Like you just seen|your first Trans Am.
Aw, here, take īem.|You can lay īem on my coffin.
Are you wearinī|the black bra? Ow!
l love black underwears.
- Jack.|- What are you doing here?
- Youīre going to a party.|- Yeah, my friend Celeste|is having a party tonight.
Great. Hey, līll drive you.
Oh, you know what? ltīs really|not that far. ltīs-- ltīs fine.
No, no, no. No.|Come on, come on.
Okay, but itīs,|itīs really not that far.
l move a lot of things|with this truck.
- So, is, um, everything okay?|- Why? Why wouldnīt it be okay?
- Youīre just acting really weird.|- No, no, līm not being weird.
- Yes, you are.|- No, līm not being weird.
- So, what about Peter?|- What about Peter?
Peter is going to have a lot|to deal with when he wakes up.
- Lucy! Hi. How are you?|- Hi!
Oh, come on. Come in. Hey, everybody.|Lucy and her fiance are here.
- Lucy! Hey, howīs it goinī?|- Jerry, you know Peter, right?
Thank you. Hi.|Take his coat, Cindy.
- Peter?|- l gotta talk to you.
Geez, he looks good.
Thatīs not Peter.|Thatīs Jack.
- Uh, whoīs Jack again?|- Peterīs brother.
- Peterīs the guy thatīs in a coma.|- Yeah.
-So then why did you bring Jack?|-l didnīt bring Jack.|He followed me here.
- So Jackīs the fiance?|- No, Peter.
- Peter doesnīt even know you exist.|- l know.
- So Jack is Peter?|- Yeah.
- Lucy--|- Yeah?
They have doctors|for this kind of thing.
Excuse me. Uh! Thatīs spiked.
- Thank God.|- You shouldnīt have any.
- Why not?|- Because itīs not good for the baby.
- Wait a minute, will ya?|- ltīs freezinī! Watch out.
Uh, this whole evening did not|work out well at all, and, uh--
Oh, and līm supposed to share|some responsibility in that?
No. Now-- Would you|slow down a little bit?
Look. lt was just|a misunderstanding,
- and on top of the Joe Jr. thing--|- Excuse me?
- ltīs nothing.|- No, no, no. Thereīs no īīnothingīī now.
What Joe Jr. thing?
- The leaning thing.|- īīThe leaning thing.īī
- Yeah.|- Okay.
Um-- What do you-- What do you|mean by īīthe leaning thingīī?
- Because he gave me flowers?|- And then you leaned.
- And then l leaned.|- Yeah.
Okay. How did l lean|when l leaned?
- How were you leaning?|- Yeah.|- lt was a lot different than hugging.
Huggingīs very different.
Hugging, that involves|arms and hands,
and leaning is whole bodies|moving in, like this.
Leaning involves wanting...
ls this guy bothering you?
Are you sure? īCause it|looks like heīs leaning.
Thank you. See?
līll be right over here|if you need me.
Okay. Thank you very much.
l know karate.
Okay. Now-- All right.|What about the other thing?
The other thing?|The other misunderstanding?
Why did you think|l was pregnant?
Well, Mary said that she|had heard something like that.
- And you believed her?|- l didnīt have any reason|not to believe her.
So the only reason your brother|would want to marry someone like me...
- is if l was pregnant, right?|- No, no.
Fact is, youīre not|really Peterīs type.
Yeah, Jack? All right,|whose type am l?
- Thank you.|- Look, itīs a great idea,|you and Peter.
ltīs just not obvious|to the whole world, thatīs all.
You know what, Jack? līve had|a really lousy Christmas.
Youīve just managed|to kill my New Yearīs.
-lf you come back on Easter,|you can burn down my apartment.|-Hey, come on, Lucy.
-What do you want from me, Jack?|-l want you not to be unhappy.
And what are you, the happiness|guru, Jack? Are you happy?
Because l donīt remember you having|had a conversation with your father.
l mean, you do want to leave|the business, donīt you,
or is this just like|another miscommunication|that we are having here?
What do you know|about my family?
Spending a week with īem|does not make you an expert.
Spending a lifetime with them|hasnīt made you one either.
Yeah, well, l know that keeping|your family happy gets complicated.
Would your father be happy knowing|youīre sitting in a token booth,
planning vacations|that you arenīt taking?
No, he wouldnīt. Youīre right.
But you have no idea|what itīs like to be alone.
Hey, you have Peter.
l donīt have anybody.
Happy New Year!|Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year.
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
Weīll take a cup|of kindness yet
ln days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
Ox, they called me and told me|to get down here. What happened?
- Heīs awake.|- Oh, that-- Oh.
Will the Byers family|please meet in the solarium?
- Will the Byers--|- Boy, will he be glad to see you.
Peter.|Your familyīs here, Peter.
Wh-Who are you?
Heīs got amnesia.
Lacunar amnesia is a condition|in which memory loss...
is localized and patchy,
limited to isolated events.
- Selective amnesia?|- Okay. Exactly.
Um, līm sorry. You-- l-l need to tell|you something that is really important.
- l-l was never--|- Pregnant?
- Huh?|- We know. Jack called us.
- Jack.|- Hey. So heīs come out of it, huh?
- Oh, līm so glad youīre here.|- Excuse me. Doctor? Heīs up again.
All right, letīs go.
Hey, Jack, l am so glad|youīre here.
- Saul!|- Now, listen. Let me handle it.
līm too old a friend and too old|a person for them to kill.
- līll take care of it, all right?|- Okay.
- And līll do it right now.|- Okay.|- Come on. Letīs go.
Right behind you.
- How you feelinī, champ?|- l donīt know.
- Hi.|- Hey, you remember her?
- Should l?|- Look closely.
She looks|a little familiar. Why?
- l think itīs coming back.|- l think so.
Whatīs coming back?|Tell me. Tell me. What?
- You have amnesia.|- l do?
Peter, youīre engaged.
- To who?|- To Lucy.
Lucy? Whoīs Lucy?
- You donīt remember, do you?|- Excuse me.
- Got some Jell-O for you today.|- Do l like Jell-O?
- Yum!|- l think heīs had enough|excitement for one evening.
- Letīs all go home.|- Hang in there, champ.
- Good night, honey.|- Good night, Mom.
- Oh, itīs so good to see you!|- Mom!
- He looks so good, you know?|- Heīs going to be fine.
l think he looks wonderful.
- All right, weīll be back.|- Jack, you too. Come on. Letīs go home.
- Saul, where have you been?|- What, līm not allowed|to go to the bathroom?
- Saul!|- līm handling it. l will tell them.
When? When?|On my golden anniversary?
- Lucy, līll tell them!|- Youīd better tell them!|- l said līd tell them!
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Jack, youīve been|really great this week.
Yeah, like, uh, when l accused|you of lying to everybody.
Or when l accused you of having|a relationship with Joe Jr.
Or when l thought you were pregnant|and l announced it to all your friends.
Youīve had a really busy week|this week, havenīt you?
Look, Jack, l, um--
Starting tomorrow, uh, things...
are probably gonna be|kind of different.
l just wanted you to know|that youīve become, uh,
a really good friend.
Good friend. Lucy!
l didnīt mean, uh, what l said|about you and Peter.
l think you two are gonna make|a really terrific couple,
and, uh, līm really glad that|you wonīt be alone anymore.
- Good-bye.|- Bye.
Jack, is that you?
- Brought you some doughnuts.|- Youīre a savior.
Your motherīs got me eatinī|these fat-free bran muffins.
They taste like plywood.
- Catchinī up?|- Yeah, itīs been almost a week|since l read the obituaries.
You know, we missed a lot of good stuff|the day after Christmas.
Been a hell of a week,|hasnīt it?
Life is a pain in the ass.|līll tell ya. You know?
You work hard, try to provide for|the family, and then, for one minute,
Everyoneīs well.|Everyoneīs happy.
ln-- ln that one minute,|you have peace.
Pop, this isnīt that minute.
- What do you mean?|- Um--
You remember that rocking chair|l made for Grandma?
Are you kidding me? ltīs so|fancy, she wonīt even sit in it.
This fancy chair, two months ago|l sold three just like it.
līve sold two dining tables.|l got orders for six more.
Thatīs a good side business.
This is not a side business.|This is... good business.
Wait a second.|You donīt want my business?
No, l donīt.
- How long have you felt this way?|- A long time.
Well, why didnīt you|say something sooner?
l couldīve sold the whole damn thing|to Uncle Eddy for twice its value.
l couldīve taken your mother|on the cruise with Kathie Lee Gifford.
Youīre not mad at me?
Are you nuts?
You are nuts! You wanna|make rocking chairs.
Oh, hey, Mrs. Fletcher|finally went, huh?
Her dining room alone|has got to be worth 40 grand.
Yeah. Well, those McMurphy boys, they|were movinī in before the deed was done.
- Thatīs their problem.|Theyīre too pushy.|- Very pushy, yeah.
- Weīll call them next week.|- Youīll call īem next week.
Thatīs right.|līll call them next week.
- Okay.|- Do l get a doughnut?|- Uh, līm sorry.
22, 10, 40.|Eighth-grade locker combination.
- Birth date: 3-11-59.|- You have to remember Lucy.
Social Security number:|144-60-6894.
You love her. You just...|donīt remember her.
3.73 grade point average,|Northwestern University.
- Can l talk to Peter alone?|- Everything okay, Saul?
-Senior class president, 1981.|-l just wanna talk to my godson.
- Let me take that for you.|- Thanks, Mom.|- Weīll be back.
- Okay, weīll see you later, honey.|- You sure, Saul?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.|- See ya, son.|- See ya, Dad.
Peter, līve known you|since you were born.
līve been to every major event|in your life from Cub Scouts to--
well, to the day you discovered|hair on your schmeckel.
You got a good education.
Youīre very popular|with all those friends of yours.|You make a nice living.
And everybody knows|youīre a good-lookinī kid.
But, Peter, youīre a putz.
- Excuse me?|- Now, look, līm your godfather.
l mean, l love ya. l couldnīt love ya|any more if you were my own son.
But the fact of the matter is|youīre-- Well, youīre a putz.
ls there a point to this?
Peter, thereīs something...|you have to know about her.
You see, she--
Sheīs not only your fiancee,|sheīs your guardian angel.
Yeah! Peter,|she saved your life!
Now, sheīs cominī to see you today,|and l want you to do yourself a favor.
l want you to look deeply into her eyes|and listen with the heart of a man...
who has just been given|a second chance at life.
And after two minutes, if youīre|not madly in love with her,
why, tell her you wanna break up,|and you can go back to being a putz.
But if in the two minutes you see what|the rest of us only took seconds to see,
you will propose to her|for the second time...
and marry her before she|has a chance to escape.
Uh, before she comes, take|a little time and think about...
what an old putz just told ya.
You know, if l was 40 years|younger, līd marry her myself.
That is, if sheīd convert.|Hey, thatīs a joke.
Oh, l know that.
- Lucy!|- Hi.
- Hi.|- Um.
l came to bring you|back your things.
Would you like a sandwich?
No, no. līm okay. Thanks.|Can l get you anything?
l wish l had my own clothes.
Well, l like your, um,|blue pinstripe.
- Double-breasted?|- Yeah.
- Yeah, thatīs my favorite too.|- Really?
Please sit down.
l, l saw a picture of you, uh,|when you saved the three squirrels.
Oh. They never call.|They never write.
That was a long time ago.
Yeah, l guess we, we donīt get to do|many heroic things as an adult, huh?
Oh, thatīs for sure.|You do, though!
Oh, no. Jumping in front|of that train was unusual.
l donīt think līve done anything|truly heroic in my whole life.
- l chased a purse-snatcher once.|- Well, thatīs something.
l pretended|to pull a hamstring.
Well, most guys probably wouldnīt have|chased after him in the first place.
l mean, l work at the El.|Believe me, l know.
You give up your seat|every day in the train.
Well-- But thatīs not heroic.
lt is to the person|who sits in it.
And you always gave me something|to look forward to every day, so--
You know, you do|remind me of someone.
ltīs probably you.
Uh, uh, maīam! Excuse me.|Excuse me, maīam, uh--
- Youīre new.|- Yes, maīam. What apartment?
līm going to Peter|Callaghanīs apartment.
Uh, and your name, please?
Ashley Bartlett Bacon.|l am Peterīs fiancee.
Youīre not his fiancee.
- Huh?|- Huh?
Hey, lookinī good!
Yeah, well, theyīre movinī me|to the second floor.
Great.|Mind if l drove?
Uh, no problem.|Uh, see you by the elevators.
- All right.|- Okay.
- There we go.|- Oh. Uh, itīs a little drafty.
Here. l brought you|some contraband.
Oh. Chocolate peanut butter.|Thanks.
- Hey, Lucyīs pretty terrific,|isnīt she?|- Oh, yeah.
- Weīre engaged, you know.|- Yeah, l heard that.
Now this l remember.
Everything is better. Everything|looks better, feels better.
Even this chocolate|peanut butter tastes better.
Good. ltīs fudge mint.
Whatever. līm reborn.
lf you were a priest right now,|līd confess everything to you.
No, no, donīt confess. līm|trying to be positive right now.|Just eat your ice cream.
l donīt even know what my secretary|sent Mom and Dad for Christmas.
lt was a fruit basket. Now,|look, l donīt wanna get in--
- līve never been faithful to a woman.|- līm gonna leave.
Remember the squirrels?
Donīt even say it.
First l knocked them out|of their nest with a rock.
- Peter.|- Then l saved them.
Eww. Did you say|any of this to Lucy?
That was in the past. līm making|a clean start with Lucy. She is--
She is-- She--
What is she? Sheīs--
līd say that she gets under your|skin as soon as you meet her.
She drives you so nuts you donīt|know whether to hug her or, or|just really arm wrestle her.
She would go all the way to Europe|just to get a stamp in her passport.
l donīt know if that|amounts to insanity...
or just being really,|really likable.
No, thatīs not it.
But sheīs gotta be|really special. Sheīs gotta be.
And l can spend the rest|of my life finding out why.
l donīt have to know now.|l donīt have to know tomorrow.
l, l donīt have to know|in a year or ten years.
l donīt-- l donīt have to-- l donīt|have to have all the answers today, or--
Maybe someday līll have a clue,|but it doesnīt mean l,
l canīt make|a lifetime commitment.
Does this make any sense?
Not really, but thatīs|common after a head injury.
Ah. Oh, hi.
- Whatīd they say?|- Who?
The Callaghans.|Are-- Are they inside?
You missed īem.
- Well, what was|their reaction to the news?|- l didnīt tell īem yet.
What do ya-- What do ya--|What do you-- What do you mean,|Saul? What a-- What a--
- Now what about Peter?|- Well, l didnīt tell him either. l--
- What? Saul, you said|you were gonna handle this.|- līll handle it.
- This is handling it?|- This is handling it.
- Saul?|- Listen-- What?
- Youīre fired.|- Fired?
- Sorry.|- Pardon me.
- Two, please.|- Four, please.
Dr. Biloxi.|Dr. Biloxi to l.C.U. North.
Dr. Biloxi.|Dr. Biloxi to l.C.U. North.
- Thanks.|- Youīre welcome.
- Ashley!|- Scumbag!
May l remind you|that you proposed to me?
You said no. We broke up.
No, no. l was confused.|We stepped back.
- You moved to Portugal.|- Yes, well, well, l, l didnīt|think you were going...
to run out and marry the first|bimbo that you came across.
- Lucyīs not a bimbo.|- Lucy?
- Lucy who?|- l donīt remember.
l donīt remember proposing.|l was in a coma. l have amnesia.
Amnesia?|Oh, well, now thatīs rich.
All right, fine.|l want my stuff back.
Fine. Then l want|my stuff back.
- What stuff?|- Your nose.
- You canīt take my nose back.|- l paid for it.
Well, then, here.|You paid for these too.
Oh, keep īem.|līm a changed man, Ashley.
Go ahead. Go ahead and marry|her, you one-balled bastard.
Holy buckets, Peter.
Movinī on to|greener pastures.
- Yeah!|- You got it, pal.
Yes, the doctor|will be right there.
- Lucy, they moved him.|- They moved him?
- Come with me.|- Where?|- Downstairs.
- Lucy.|- What? Oh.
- Lucy.|- Hi, Peter.
- Hi.|- My god, you look really good.
- l feel really good.|- Um--
You know what? Facing death|makes a man evaluate his life.
And līve been thinkinī about mine,|and l havenīt liked what līve seen.
līve seen a man who has|courtside tickets to the Bulls,
a, a lucrative|investment portfolio,
an apartment on La Rue|du Faubourg, Saint Honore.
- Where?|- Paris.
But līve also seen a man|who has no one to trust.
No one to want|to have a son with.
You were there when l|needed someone the most.
You gave me|a second chance at life.
Took a coma to wake me up.
My family loves ya.|l might as well love you.
Lucy Eleanor Moderatz,|will you marry me?
Wanda? Wanda?|Are you all right?
- Um--|- Honey? Wanda?
Your hairīs lookinī|very big tonight.
Why, thank you.|l love your new cologne.
Yeah, itīs called īīParis Guy.īī|ltīs from France.
- Nice.|- How ya doinī?
Hey, are you goinī|to see Lucy?
She is the best-lookinī|chick in this building.
But you are the best-lookinī|chick on the third floor.
- Joe Jr.!|- Phyllis!
No? This one?
This one? Oh!
l donīt want any flowers from you,|l am not wearing black underwear,
and l definitely do not|want to move in with you, Joe--
Well, l donīt have any flowers,|l wouldnīt mind seeing|the black underwear,
but under the circumstances, l donīt|think we should move in together.
l thought you were Joe Jr.
l get that a lot.
- Do you wanna come in?|- Yeah.
- Yeah?|- Yeah.
- Wow. So thatīs...|- Wow.
- the wedding dress, huh?|- Hmm?
The wedding dress.
lt works good as a tie too.
l just wanted to give you this before|all the presents started to pile up.
l was droppinī off some furniture in|Little ltaly. l look in a window, and--
Thank you.|ltīs really beautiful.
And l wanted to say that|l think that Peter...
is a very lucky guy.
l had to say that because youīre|gonna be my sister-in-law.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, l guess weīll be|seeing a lot of each other then.
- l better get goinī.|- Yeah.
Hey, Jack. Jack!
Can you give me|any reason...
why l shouldnīt|marry your brother?
- Whatīs this?|- ltīs a wedding invitation.
Wait a minute.|This is your wedding invitation.
Whom are we marrying?
Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
The coma guy?|Are you insane?
Yes, Jerry, līm insane.
Every day l go and l sit|in a booth like a veal.
l, l work every holiday.|l go home to a cat.
And now a rich and handsome man|has asked me to marry him,|and l have said yes.
Okay, okay. That makes me|a raving, total lunatic.
The wedding|is tomorrow, Lucy.
l know itīs tomorrow, Jerry.|But you know what?|l even wish it were yesterday.
Because you know what?|That would mean that today|that l would be on my honeymoon,
that l would finally have|a stamp in my passport,
and that it would say|ltaly on it!
What happened|with the other guy?
He didnīt want me.
- Maybe she forgot.|- A woman doesnīt forget|her wedding day.
Maybe sheīs stuck in traffic.
This isnīt-- This looks--|Does this look ridiculous?
- No, you look fine.|- All right. All right.
- Well, you got the rings?|- Yeah, l got the rings.
Whatīs the matter|with you, Jack?
l suck, or the outfit sucks?
ltīs a toss-up.
What do you need?
- Oh.|- Oh. Here she is.
Sheīs just a little nervous.
Youīre not kiddinī.
Dearly beloved, we are|gathered here today to join--
l, l, l didnīt|get to that part yet.
l would have to object too.
- What about you?|- Oh, līm-- līm thinking.
What the hell is going on?
l am in love with your son.
Not that one. That one.
Jack, what the hell did you do?
He didnīt do anything.|He didnīt do anything.
lt was me. lt was all me.
Um, Elsie, how you doinī?|You doinī okay?
Um, do you remember|that day at the hospital?
Of course you remember that day|at the hospital. Well, um,|there was a little mix-up.
Um, l saw Peter get pushed onto|the tracks, and, uh, l saved his life.
But when l got to the hospital,|they wouldnīt let me see him.
So, um, the-- someone told the|doctor that l was his fiancee.
Only, um-- Oh.|ltīs not true.
l was never engaged to Peter.
Why didnīt you|say something?
Because l didnīt know|how to tell you.
We never even met until|that day on the tracks.
And, um, itīs just when we|were in the hospital room,|everything happened so fast.
And l couldnīt tell you|the truth.
And then l didnīt wanna|tell you the truth because, um,
the truth was that|l fell in love with you.
You fell in love with me?
No. No-- Yes.|All of you.
l went from being all alone|to being...
a fiancee, a daughter,
a granddaughter,|a sister...
and a friend.
l might have saved your life|on the tracks that day.
But you know what?|You really saved mine.
You allowed me to be|a part of your family,
and l havenīt had that|in a really long time.
And l just didnīt want|to let go of that.
So even though it was just for a little|while, l will love them always.
līm very sorry.
Oh, um, and līm very sorry|about your carpet.
What about my carpet?
- Peter Callaghan is engaged to me!|- Oh!
- l object to this wedding.|- Get in line.
And l object to your objection.
- Whoīs that?|- Ashleyīs husband.
You proposed to|a married woman?
Yes. And l was in a coma|when my brother makes a play...
for my-- sort of my fiancee.
- Peter, how could you do this?|- You promised me.
We were better off together.
Hold on, hold on.|Just hold on right there.
Hey, Luce, l just wanted|to say that, uh,
līm sorry things didnīt|work out with that guy.
And, um, you know,|right now...
you should get in touch|with the child within, and, um,
explore your feminine side,|and, um,
you know, donīt start eatinī cookies|and cake and stuff like that,
because youīll blow up|like my Aunt Roberta, you know.
And-- You deserve|better than that.
So, um, how are things goinī|with, uh, Miss Third Floor?
Oh, Joey. Joey.
- Do you have any cookies?|- No.
You know what? We can|try on some of my shoes.
- Okay.|- All right.
- Hey.|- Hmm?
- Last day, huh?|- Yeah, hmph.
- līm sure gonna miss you.|- līm gonna miss you.
- Oh, weīll see each other.|- You better.
- Of course.|- All right?|- All right.
- All right.|- Bye.
l need to ask ya a question.
Get down on your knee.|ltīs more romantic.
Heīs proposing!|Let him do it.
l am letting him do it.
Can l come in there, please?
Not without a token.
Heīs doinī it!
You knew?|Howīd you know this?
l love you.
l love you back.
Ah, thatīs nice.
līm so happy.
So, l had planned to marry Peter,|but l married Jack instead.
Thank goodness|my father was right.
Life doesnīt always turn out|the way you plan.
But Jack, Jack gave me|the perfect gift:
a stamp in my passport.
He took me to Florence|for our honeymoon.
l guess you might say|he gave me the world.
Peter once asked me when it was|that l fell in love with Jack,
and l told him, īīlt was|while you were sleeping.īī
When my world is turninī
When itīs turninī|upside down
When all l see is rain
When l think|the night wonīt end
l just think of you
And l can see|the sun again
Ooh, wherever would l be
- lf l didnīt have you|- lf l didnīt have you
Whatever would|l do now, baby
Wherever would l be|without ya
- līd be nowhere|- Nowhere
- līd be nowhere|- Nowhere
When the dreams l dream|all seem
A million miles away
When līm sure|līll never win
When itīs lookinī like|l lost my faith
- l just look at you, baby|- Baby
And l got reason|to believe again
Ooh, wherever would l be
- lf l didnīt have you|- Ooh, if l didnīt have you
Whatever would|l do now, baby
Wherever would l be|without ya
- līd be nowhere|- līd be nowhere
- līd be nowhere|- Nowhere
- To love me|- To love me
Just be wastinī time
- Goinī out of my mind|- My mind
Wherever would l be|without you
- lf l didnīt have you|- lf l didnīt have you
Whatever would|l do now, baby
Wherever would l be|without you
- līd be nowhere|- Nowhere|- līd be nowhere
- Nowhere|- Nowhere|- Oh, oh, oh
- Wherever would l be|without you|- Wherever would l be
- Wherever would l be|- Baby
- lf l didnīt have you|- lf l didnīt have you
Wherever would|l be now, baby
lf l didnīt have you
Wag The Dog
Waga seishun ni kuinashi 1946
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