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White Chicks

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Where's Manny?
Tell him the ice cream man i's here.
Freeze. Hammer time.
Can we get down to business?
You got the money?
Tell him.
He said that hes not gonna give you one red cent...
until you tell him what flavor the ice cream is.
Vanilla. Thats what you ordered.
- Tell him. - Okay.
Its all about the Benjamins, baby!
Bring in the stuff.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, funny man! - Hes funny like that!
There is your ice cream.
Tell him. I see coming. He say...
I tell him, I say Jesus.
He coming, and he say...
- Tell him. - He say...
FBI. Youre under arrest.
- Hes going to run. - No, he aint.
You owe me $1.
Where are you going, big boy?
Goddamn. Now lm going to bust your ass.
Is that all your big ass got?
- Enough. - Kevin.
All right, you two over here. Right now.
I swear III shoot both of you.
Damn, Marcus, why you always got to pick the biggest dude?
I dont know. I like a challenge.
See, what did I tell you?
We did it, right? Didnt I tell you?
- No help. No backup. - You the man.
Well get all the credit. The biggest bust of our career.
400 keys of pure...
- Vanilla ice cream? - What?
My man! Wheres the drugs?
I know nothing about drugs.
I sell ice cream. Strawberry. Vanilla.
Neapolitan, for example.
Tell Manny his ice cream delivery is here.
Never mind. Wrong store.
FBI. Freeze!
- Marcus? - Im good.
- Theyre moving. - Lets go.
- Which one? - I dont know.
- God. - Damn.
I told you we shouldve called for backup.
You know the Chiefs gonna kill us, right?
You know the Chiefs gonna kill us, right?
Let me give you guys a little tip.
If youre going to operate outside the channels...
do the whole renegade cop thing...
you might want to make sure that you get the right guy.
Chief, we almost had the guy.
Our intelligence was just a little off.
Wait a minute. Intelligence?
Look around you, Copeland. Theres nothing intelligent about this.
Now lm tired of your escapades. I want them to stop.
The last thing I need is to be the laughingstock of the Bureau.
And furthermore, the...
Hold on. Hello? Baby, I cant talk.
The Chief is chewing my ass right now. I got to call you back. Bye.
- Sorry, Chief. - As I was saying...
Gordon here.
Yes, he is.
- Its for you. - Thank you.
- Baby, lm still with the Chief. - No respect.
No, hes really not happy now.
Okay, I got to go. Bye. Thanks, Chief.
You guys are... Get this place cleaned up.
I expect to have a full report on my desk tomorrow.
- Yes, sir. - And in the meantime...
Im checking with the Bureau to see if they got any openings...
in Iraq.
The Dynamic Duo strikes again. Way to go, Baskin and Robbin.
Or is it Häag and Dazs?
Häag and Dazs. You wrote that?
Thats good, I like that.
- Later, Häag. - Adiós, Dazs.
- I hate those guys, dude. - Oh, God.
All right. Well, lets get this place cleaned up.
- All right. - Okay, so, you do the floor.
Clean all the ice cream up and III go warm the car up.
Okay. So much for a hot meal.
- Hey, baby. - Dont hey, baby me.
I cant believe you have me sitting here all night worried about you.
All night? Baby...
its only 8:00.
Look, after work, me and Kevin went down to the bar and had a couple of drinks.
I know. I called the bar. They said you left at 7:45.
I checked MapQuest. It only takes six minutes to get there from here.
So, if you got somebody on the side, you need to tell me.
Baby, listen to what you just say.
MapQuest said it takes six minutes to get here. I got here in eight.
Which means theres two minutes unaccounted for.
If I was cheating on you, dont you think Id need more than two minutes?
You know what? I aint going to deal with this.
Im tired, okay? I had a long day at work. I got shot at.
See, that is exactly what lm talking about.
We dont communicate.
- Okay, fine. You want to communicate? - Yes.
Come on. Lets communicate. Okay?
Okay. Lets start with last week.
Last week.
You and I were supposed to go shopping together. We get to the mall.
I buy this beautiful dress, I get my hair done.
You dont say anything. I dont know, maybe you just dont want to...
Did you hear me just now?
Tell me what I said.
I heard everything. You was communicating.
Dont play with me right now. I am not in the mood.
I cannot believe you came home late and then you start...
Marcus! You are falling asleep again. I am talking to you.
I wasnt asleep, I was closing my eyes and visualizing your words.
Oh, really? Visualizing?
Why dont you paint me a picture of what I just said?
- Hold on. - You know why?
Because you are falling asleep again. Marcus!
We received this from Mr. Andrew Wilson, CEO of Wilson Cruise Lines.
It was delivered to his home. The girls in the photo are his daughters...
and heiresses to the Wilson fortune.
We believe they are the kidnappers next victims.
Mr. Wilson has given us permission to shadow his daughters.
Were going to set up surveillance...
and if the kidnapper strikes...
this time we will be ready.
Now, the Wilson sisters will be flying into JFK this morning.
So whos going to pick them up?
Obviously, everyone has read the profile on the girls.
Still, somebodys got to do it.
I dont think this is a good idea.
I dont care. We deserve to be on this case just as much as Gomez and Harper.
I know, but we dont want to interrupt the man in a briefing.
Well, somebody got to stand up to him.
- Chief. - What?
- Marcus has something he want to tell you. - What?
Chief, we just want to know if we could get on the case.
Youre on.
The boys over at Intel seem to think that the kidnappers a guy...
named Ted Burton.
It says Burton was a partner of Wilsons...
and some other associates in some business venture that failed.
Says he spent time in the Federal pen and lost his fortune.
Guys been MIA since his release and those dates coincide with the first kidnappings.
- What do you think? - I think this babysitting gig sucks.
Dude, relax.
Look, man. All we got to do is pick these chicks up...
drop their ass off in the Hamptons, then we back in the Chiefs good graces.
I didnt join the FBI to become a nanny.
I want to be on the street where the action is.
Okay, Blackie Chan, and youll get there. Can we just do this first, please?
- All right. - You didnt put dairy in this, did you?
- No. - Because you know lm lactose intolerant.
Last time, I barely made it to the bathroom.
Why would I want to disturb your stomach?
There goes your girls.
Come on, man. Lets do this.
- Hi, lm Kevin Copeland. This is... - We already gave to the United Negro Fund.
- Wait. Hold on. - Excuse us.
Were actually here to escort you ladies to the Hamptons.
The bags are on the plane. Take Baby and clean out his bag.
He didnt have his colonic and he like pooped everywhere.
- Whats this? - Baby got to ride in the car seat.
Where the hell am I supposed to sit?
This aint right.
Man, you guys sure got a lot of bags for a weekend.
- This isnt a weekend. - Its the weekend.
Labor Day in the Hamptons. The last weekend of the social season.
Only the hottest people are going to be there.
And only the hottest of the hottest are going to make it onto the cover...
of Hamptons Magazine. And this is our year.
Open the window. Baby likes a little fresh breeze.
I just hope the Vandergeld sisters private jet crashes on the way there.
- Oh, my God, Brittany! - You were thinking it!
- I know, but you said it. - I know.
You know Heather totally hates you because you slept with her boyfriend.
My God. So what? I sleep with everyones boyfriend.
Is everybody all right?
My God! Your lip.
My God! Your nose.
Marcus, are you okay?
- Im cool. - Babys in a wreck!
I cant believe...
you think were going to go to the Hamptons with my face looking like that.
Its really not that bad. Just get some makeup and cover it up.
Put makeup on this?
I am so fricking pissed.
My God, this is like the worst day of my life.
I went to go get my brows done...
and I told her to make me look like J-Lo.
And then that fricking Russian toad made me look...
like Liza Minnelli or something.
Oh, my God! Lm going to have a B.F.
Wait. Whats a B.F.?
Shes going to have a bitch fit!
- You better get out of here. - I am going to call your boss.
- You dont have to do that. - No, III call the owner of the company.
Come on, just take it easy. Look, we can work this out.
- Im going to write a letter. - No.
Please dont write a letter. Look, just calm down.
You guys just stay here. Stay here the whole weekend.
Do whatever you want. But whatever you do, do not leave this room.
Dont leave this room, because if you do, everyones gonna see those hideous scars.
Scar?
- My God! Permanent damage. - My life is over.
If I lose this job with these good benefits, Ginas gonna kill me.
- Well? - They wont go.
- What do you mean, they wont go? - They wont go.
Marcus, this weekend in the Hamptons means everything for these girls.
They wont show up with a scratched-up nose and a busted lip for nobody.
Thats cool.
What are you doing?
Lm just going to kill myself before the Chief does.
- Bye-bye, Kevin. - Come on.
Dont do that. Stop being ridiculous.
Im not being ridiculous. You heard the man.
One more screw-up, and were through.
- I know, man. - See? Thats probably him right now.
Hey, whats up, Chief?
Theres something me and Kevin want to tell you.
Yeah, Chief? Hey.
Me and Marcus just wanted to thank you for the opportunity, man.
No, we didnt.
Yeah, we really appreciate it.
They wanted to stop off and get something to eat.
Hes lying to...
Two, three hours max.
Trust me.
If I dont have them there in three hours, III cut them off and mail them to you myself.
- All right, take care. Bye. - He lied, Chief.
Why did you do that? You know them girls arent going to be there.
Theyll be there.
Hey, Josh.
Howd you like to be part of the team?
Where are the white women at?
Lets do this.
Hes right. Make them bigger.
Chief. Theyre here.
Chief. Theyre here.
All right, the girls are yours. Stick with them. Dont blow your cover.
Yes, sir.
- Are you sure this is going to work? - Just trust me. Follow my lead.
Whats up, money? You got a problem? What you looking at my ass for?
No, yo, hold my poodle.
Whats up? Yall got a problem? Yall want some of this?
You want some of this, punk? What, boy?
- Ill take the both of you. - Cut it out.
- He was looking at my ass like lm a girl. - You are a girl!
And you better start acting like one or youre going to be an unemployed girl.
Damn. Id sure like to cut that cake.
Here, yo, hold this!
Hey, you trying to look at my lumps?
III pull off my G-string and handle mine.
- Ill handle mine. - Kevin, its Gomez.
Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel.
- The bags are in the car, Jose. - The name is Gomez.
- Whatever. - Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby.
Clean out his bag. Poor thing just pooped everywhere.
And teach him how to say, "Quiero Taco Bell.
- Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie. - Thanks, Julio.
Right away, maam.
Sweetie, youve got to slow up with those Cosmos.
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in.
Sorry. Theyre new.
- Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. - They feel so real.
Hi. Yeah, I just... I need a credit card, please.
And some ID, please.
Credit card? ID?
Lm so fricking pissed.
- Maam, l... - First of all...
I go to Dr. Dorfman. He totally messes up my nose job.
I ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow.
I get off the surgery table looking like freaking Shrek.
Then I get here, and Mr. Harper...
makes me feel like lm some dumb blonde with fake boobs...
going to a Hugh Hefner party.
No. I didnt mean to offend you.
- Its just protocol. - Im going to have a B.F.
My God. Shes going to have a bitch fit.
No. Dont have a B.F. Now...
I want to speak to your supervisor. Better yet, lm going to write a letter.
- Miss, theres no reason to... - You are in big trouble.
Dear Mr...
Royal Hampton.
I am a white woman...
- in America. - Ladies, is there a problem here?
- Yes. - No.
Theres no problem.
These are two of our VIP guests.
Issue them keys. Immediately.
VIP. Learn your acronyms.
- What a sweetheart. - Here you are. Enjoy your stay.
Has anyone ever told you you look just like Denzel Washington?
Yes, actually I have heard it once or twice.
What a beautiful chocolate man.
Beautiful. God.
- That was close. - Yeah.
- Are they waving at us? - I dont know.
- What are we going to do? - Just act friendly.
My God.
Well, dont act like you dont know us.
Karen, Lisa, Tori.
Oh, my God.
I havent seen you in forever.
Its only been a year.
Did you do something different to your hair?
- No. - You gain weight?
- No. - I know! You just had a birthday.
- Yeah. - Totally. Total fire sign. I knew it.
- I totally knew it. - Wait a minute.
There is definitely...
something different about the two of you.
Collagen.
You little witch. How did you know?
Duh, its totally obvious. Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z.
You got taller, too.
We got our knees done.
You can do that?
- You should do that. - Yes.
Well, it was really good seeing you ladies. Bye.
Excuse me. Where do you think youre going?
To go freshen up.
The Hamptons Magazine reception just started, so lets hit it.
Hey, check it out.
Are those the Wilson sisters?
More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters. I never noticed how big they are.
But Id still bone.
My God. Theres Heath.
Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein, the soap heiress, too?
How do you keep that shit dangling?
I keep telling her lm going to break up with my girl.
You better hope Heather doesnt find out.
She wont.
At least until I wrap up this big deal with her father.
Hey, Mr. V.
And look, there they are. The fen-phen twins.
Theyre hot.
What, are you blind?
Thats Heather and Megan Vandergeld.
Your sworn enemies since you were like, I dont know. Eight?
Did I say hot? I meant not.
- I totally hate them. - Did you guys hear about Megan?
She got stopped by security at Saks trying to pull a Winona.
God. Come on.
- This is going to be fun. - Move.
Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills.
Its The Beverly Ho-billies.
- Squeeze me? - No, you didnt.
Im sorry, but we just saw your new video.
They had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue...
in the security office.
A klept-ho-maniac.
Your mother shops at Saks.
What?
My God. You want to talk about mothers?
You want to talk about mothers.
Its mother time. Okay.
Your mothers so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.
Somethings wrong, Dr. Dre. My coochies doing a beatbox.
Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid...
she exercises when she could just get...
liposuction or something.
Your mothers so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this.
Your mother is so, like...
Shes so...
Megan, you go.
Your mother is so stupid...
that she goes to Barneys Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch...
and orders a nicoise salad and calls it a ni-coise salad.
Ni-coise salad, right?
Your mothers ass is so hairy...
it looks like Don Kings about to pop out and say, Only in America!
Your mothers so stupid...
that she goes into Gucci and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.
Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls. Is this any way to speak to your guests?
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.
I havent seen you since you were smaller.
Yeah. Well, were all grown up now.
Yeah, I can see that.
Ladies, I fully expect to see you later at the White Party.
- I think its gonna be the best one ever. - Well be there.
- Take care. Bye. Good seeing you again. - Bye, Mr. V.
This isnt over yet.
This is a long weekend. You better watch your back.
- Ladies. - Whatever.
I cant believe you guys just did that to the Vandergelds.
You know, they could take you off the scene just like that.
- Yeah, but it was so cool, you guys. - So cool.
Isnt that Denise Porter from NY1 News?
Yeah, lm working on getting you an interview with her.
Great for your image.
I think III go over there and introduce myself.
- Do you think nows a good time? - Actually, its a perfect time.
- Wouldnt want to miss a photo op. - Never that.
- See you later. - Have fun.
- Whats wrong? Did you just get cramps? - Yeah.
- Do you need a tamp? - Heating pad?
- Hors doeuvres? - Thank you, Wolfgang Paco.
Would you give that to Baby? Thank you.
- Bye, Chico. Vamonos. - Bon appetit.
Ill have one.
- Hi, my name is... - Brittany Wilson, of course.
Yeah. Howd you know? Brittany Wilson.
Well, its my job to know.
Your publicist, Tori, has been calling me nonstop about setting up an interview.
If I wouldve known you were so beautiful, I probably wouldve called you myself.
Well, if I wasnt mistaken, Id think you were flirting with me, Miss Wilson.
Me? Flirting with you? A girl? Never.
Sorry, honey. Only beef.
- Boy, youre really strong, arent you? - Its from all that protein.
My God. These are delicious.
You might want to slow down on the cheese.
You mean, theres cheese, as in dairy cheese?
Yeah. Unless you know another way to make quiche.
- Ladies, I think I got to go to the bathroom. - Good. Well come with.
No, I can handle it myself. Thank you, though.
Like were going to let you go alone.
Time for touchups anyway.
Move, bitch.
My God, you guys. Heath is here. What should I do?
I dont understand what you see in him.
Hes an out-of-work actor living in a share house.
And he drives a 3 Series BMW.
Tori, I really think that you need to cut Heath a little bit of slack.
His aunt died three years ago and he really needs new headshots.
Hes just going through a really rough time right now. Okay?
You okay?
Everything all right in there?
Its fine. Shit.
Tiff, were just going to meet you outside. Okay?
Love you.
Man, it may be summertime in the Hamptons...
but it is snowing up in here.
Tony, hand me my boots because lm about to go skiing.
- Great game last night, Latrell. - Thats what I do, baby.
Now thats what lm talking about.
A white girl with a black girls ass.
Im taking that home to Mama.
Pardon me.
Santa mustve come early this year...
because you were first on my Christmas list.
There it is, right there.
I want to know. Are you naughty or nice?
Sorry, lm not interested.
- Ill take that as naughty. - Naughty.
You know what they say:
Once you go black, youre going to need a wheelchair.
- Okay, call me later. - As I was saying...
Look, King Kong. Why dont you take you and your 1980 pickup lines...
climb the Empire State Building, beat on your big old monkey chest...
and then jump off? Excuse me.
Hold up, hold on now. Ill get the...
- This is no joke, man. - Get your hands off me, man.
She dont know it yet, but thats wifey right there.
Hello, everybody. For just one second.
Im Warren Vandergeld. Im sure most of you know me.
And I just want to remind you that tonights the night.
The Vandergeld Foundations annual charity auction.
So bring your checkbook...
dress to impress, and well see you there. Have fun.
- So what are you going to wear? - This?
Youre so funny.
Ladies, you know what this means.
Shopping!
And now, the Number One most requested song on WQQR...
- Its our jam. - This is our jam, ladies. Come on.
Ready? Five, six, seven, eight...
Making my way downtown Walking fast
Faces pass And Im home bound
Staring blankly ahead Just making my way
Making a way Through the crowd
Take it, Tiff and Britt. This is your verse.
Into the sky
Do you think time Would pass me by
Cause you know Id walk A thousand miles
If I could Just see you
Tonight
C-minus.
Thats hot. Totally hot.
Feel a nigga
Guys. I cant believe that you just said that.
Said what?
The N word.
- So? Nobodys around. - Yeah.
50 Cent and B.I.G. My nigga
Dont try to act like you dont feel a nigga
Biggie yo nigga, 50 yo nigga Squeeze the trigga leave a nigga fo sho
Ladies, can I help you?
Yes, actually. I need something for my friend.
Something that says, lm not a whore but lm not a virgin either.
Ive got just the thing. Come.
- What about you, Brittany? - No, thank you, sweetie. Im fine.
Good. You can help me. Come on.
- Me? - Yeah, were girls. Thats what we do.
God.
Come on.
- Hello? - Hi, baby.
Whats up, baby?
Lm getting my hair done, and I was thinking that we could go to the movies.
Hows that sound?
- Im back. - Who is that?
Youre never going to get that big old head in this tiny hole.
- Here, let me help you. - Hold on.
- Ill hold it open while you put it in. - Okay.
- What is she holding? - Push it.
- Its almost in. - What is almost in? Marcus.
Marcus Anthony Copeland II, you better answer me right now.
- Its so tight. - Tight?
The only things thats going to be tight is my foot down your throat.
You better answer me!
Its a perfect fit.
- I cant believe what I just heard. - I told you.
Im exhausted.
Gina. Damn. Hello? Baby?
What do you think?
That looks so sexy.
Are you kidding?
Hi, lm Cellulite Sally. Look at my huge bedonkey.
And dont forget about me. Im Back Fat Betty.
Now who could have said that?
Yeah, its Tina the Talking Tummy.
I cant even wear a short skirt...
and a top without looking like a fat pig.
Calm down. Ill go see if theres something else out there for you. Okay?
Do you think Heath will love... Do you need help?
I think I need a bigger size.
Honey, you never need a bigger size. Come here.
Let me show you a little trick. Brace yourself.
Suck it in. Squeeze those cheeks, sister.
Suck it in. Come on. Work with me.
Dont give up on me. You can do this. Suck it in.
Now that looks totally cute.
My God! Are you kidding?
Hi, lm Carnie Wilson before my gastric bypass surgery.
Well, what about this? This goes with your skin tone.
Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean!
Okay. Let me get you something else. Okay?
Hows that?
I cant breathe.
Honey, this is just not going to work. Im sorry.
Well, of course not. Youre wearing the wrong underwear.
Is that better?
I can taste the leather.
Okay, you need a pair of hot shoes. What size do you wear again?
- Fourteen. - What?
Do you think you could bring us a size 10?
- A what? - A 10.
Its an open-toed slide.
It gives you two sizes in the front and two in the back.
- What about these? This ones... - You bitch! Thats so terrible.
Let me go and see if theres some help out there.
Some professional help. You need professional help. Hang on.
- Okay. - Dr. Phil!
Oprah. Somebody, help me.
Come on out, honey. Lets see.
It is absolutely fabulous. If you dont buy it, lm buying it for myself.
I dont know. Stand up straight.
Turn around.
Honey, just relax. Breathe.
You know what? Maybe a nice dress.
Okay. Who would you do?
Janet Reno or Rosie ODonnell?
- What! Are you kidding me? - And death is not an option.
I dont know. Rosie.
- Youre a pig. Thats disgusting. - What are you talking about?
- Rosies all right. - Heads up. Here they are.
- Hold on. Who would you do? - No time. Were on the job.
- Hes got my gun and badge. - Go get him!
Get in! Get in the car.
My God, I need a cigarette!
- Can you believe this? - What do we do?
We follow them. But we cant blow our cover.
- Give me back my bag. - Oh, man.
Ill rip your head off.
Your ass is mine.
What is this girl, a track star?
You messed with the wrong blonde today, pal.
- Holy Christ. - Now lm pissed.
I think shes bionic, dude.
Holy smokes.
- That was nice. - Jeez, lady. All that for a bag?
Its not just a bag. Its Prada.
- It was like a reality show. - It was so cool.
- Right behind you. - Nice going, Tori.
Way to get us sat at the losers table. I thought you had it all hooked up.
Excuse me. I do have the hook-up.
Dont blame me. Blame Little Miss Def Jam over here...
who had to go, Yo mama on the Vandergelds.
We could be finished in this town.
- Somebody had to stand up to those guys. - Theyre the it girls.
- Thats the way its always been. - Whatever.
Honey, quick. Give me a pat.
No, a powder for my nose. Quick.
Thanks.
No, lm just kidding.
I tried to call you, but your number changed?
Yeah, I know. I changed it.
Anyway, so, I was just wondering if maybe...
later we could...
Hello. Where have you been all night? Lve been looking all over for you.
Why are you talking to her?
Clean it up, coke whore.
Do you have any more of that?
Dont hate me because you aint me.
Can I have your attention, please?
Gentlemen, get out your wallets...
because youll be bidding on a date...
with some of Hamptons most eligible bachelorettes.
First up, yours truly.
Who wants to start the bidding?
- $500? - $500.
Okay. Do I hear $1,000?
Well, looks like were all on the Vandergelds D-list.
- Is this seat taken? - Oh, no. Have a seat.
Can you believe this? Theyre actually auctioning off women.
- Would you ever do anything like that? - Well, its for a good cause.
Besides, being wined and dined by a rich guy might be nice.
I see, so you like rich guys?
It might be a pleasant change from all the losers that ask me out.
- $3,000. - Thats good.
I see.
But I think that we can do better than that.
- $20,000. - Sold.
$20,000. That is a new record.
That is very good.
Next to be auctioned is Tiffany Wilson.
- Thats you. - Me?
You better do something.
Excuse me, honey. Ill be right back.
Who wants to start the bidding?
$4.
$4. Do I hear $5?
$1,000.
$1,000. Does anyone wish to go higher?
Yeah, I got $2,000 right here.
$3,000.
$5,000.
Who said that?
$5,000 to the dirty geezer in the back.
Im sure no one will wish to go higher than that...
so we can just be done with it now.
$10,000.
$20,000.
$20,000! Going once, going twice...
$50,000. Cash!
Fine.
Sold...
to the big black guy right there.
Step right up and claim your prize.
I dont want to go on a date with Buff Daddy.
Come here, baby.
Dude, my feet are killing me.
And on top of that, that G-string gave me diaper rash.
- How long we got to do this, man? - Just a couple more days.
I dont have a couple of more days. Do you know who my wife is?
Here, listen to this message. Shes losing her mind.
...with another woman doing what I think youre doing!
You dont want to hear the rest.
By the end of the weekend, well be heroes and all will be forgiven.
All right.
- You order room service? - No.
Who is it?
Damn! These girls wont quit.
Well be right there. Were coming. Hang on.
- Open up! - Open.
One second.
Well be right there. Hang on.
The ice creams melting!
Hold tight, girls! Were just shaving our feet, okay?
And braiding our vaginas.
What, did you guys forget? Its your turn to host the slumber party.
Okay, you guys. What does it mean...
when a guy is in a really bad relationship...
and its really obvious that he wants to be with you...
but he just cant seem to break up with his girlfriend?
It means youre a total booty call.
- My God! Brittany! - Well, you were thinking it.
Well, you said it.
You know, sometimes you sound just like a man.
So lve been told.
What she means to say, honey...
is maybe youre just making yourself just a little bit too, like, available.
Come on, you guys.
Dont act like you havent done it before.
You know how it is when you really care about someone.
You call them all day long...
because you just wanna know how their day is going...
and what theyre thinking about and if theyre thinking about you.
You spend all day trying to find the perfect outfit.
You even change your hairstyle just so hell take a second look.
But they never notice.
Sometimes I just wish that they could trade places with us...
so that they would know how it feels. You know?
- All done. - Really?
My God! This is so cool.
You know something?
I think you might have been black in a previous life.
Fo shizzle, my nizzle.
All right, I got another one for you. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
Easy.
But they both got a yeast infection.
Now thats tough.
- Im going to go with Pam Anderson. - Youre disgusting.
- What? - They got a yeast infection.
Who would you choose?
Hey, Gomez. We got a couple of bogeys.
- No time. - Oh, come on!
Its Pam Anderson, like you care.
Run their faces. Lets go.
- Brittany Wilson? - Yeah, thats me.
Lets get her.
- Put the blindfold on her! - Damn, this girls strong.
- Who do you work for? - Intimate Fantasies!
My God. You need help?
What are you doing? Those are the strippers, Raoul and Tito.
Strippers?
- I thought they were going to kidnap me. - Thats part of their routine.
Oh, my God! I am so sorry.
Hotel security! Is everything all right here?
Everything is fine. Just a little case of PMS. Thats all.
Im just one big, emotional wreck.
Could you guys go get me some Midol and a Snickers?
- Lets get out of here. - My ass is fat.
This is Harper. Its all clear.
Okay, ladies. Lets focus. We have to find the perfect spot.
Skank alert.
My God, girls. I totally forgot my suntan lotion.
Im gonna get some suntan lotion. Ill be right back.
Hey, Russ.
Hey, bro. Go long. I got a plan. Go.
Hey, yo! You do that again, lm going to bust...
Ill bust out in tears.
- Inbreds! - Youre a jerk.
My bad, sweetheart. Over here. Dont hurt yourself.
Dont worry, I wont.
Sorry. Better lay off the spinach.
Tony. Lets go hunting.
What a beautiful, sunny day.
Oh, my God. What happened to the sun?
Easy, white chocolate.
I wouldnt want you to melt.
Yeah. Hasta la vista, Schwarzenegro. Bye.
Hey, kids! You guys want to make $5?
Yeah! Sure!
Okay, heres what I want you to do.
Yeah, III take the usual. And put it on my tab.
Hey, Latrell Spencer! Could we have your autograph?
- Sure, little buddy. - Thanks. Youre the greatest.
Hey, thats what I do, baby.
- Sweet! - Nice!
- Hey, stay in school. - Okay, we will!
- Wow! You must be pretty good. - Im all right.
Sometimes I feel I should be paying them to take my autograph.
Im sorry, I didnt even get your name.
Latrell. Latrell Spencer. And you are?
- Denise Porter. - Denise. Denise Porter.
You know, you look so familiar. I feel like lve seen you somewhere.
No. I play pro ball. Maybe youve seen one of my games.
No. But I mean if I did, lm sure I wouldve definitely remembered you.
Okay, well. Look, Denise...
I dont mean to be too forward or anything...
but lm here in town, checking out some real estate, and...
Oh, whereabouts?
- You know, up around over there. - In Montauk?
- More like around... - East Hampton.
Just all over the place. Its one big blur.
One big, business blur.
I kind of want to get away from all that business and...
hang out with somebody and have a real conversation.
So, I was wondering if youre not too busy...
- maybe we can hang out? - Yeah, sure.
- Really? All right. Cool! - Yeah.
So, III pick you up at about...
You know, the jet should be here about 7:30...
and the limo will take about a half-hour. About 8:00. Is that good?
- Yeah, 8:00 sounds great. - 8:00 sounds good? All right.
- Goodbye. - Take care.
Hey, wheres our $5?
All right, calm down.
Here you go. $5. $2.50 each.
- You promised to give us $5 each. - Stay in school.
Cheapo.
I am not making excuses. I refuse to believe it.
I am not making excuses. I refuse to believe it.
- Really? - I dont want to believe Marcus is cheating.
I dont wanna believe Michael Jackson keeps carving up his nose.
Excuse me. Your card has been declined for insufficient funds.
The reps on the line.
Yes, this is Mrs. Copeland.
$4,000 dress? And where did I buy this dress?
The Hamptons!
Yes, I remember.
Thank you.
It is on.
I dont see why I got to go out with Mandingo.
Cause if you dont, youll blow our cover.
What you gonna be doing?
Me? Lm going to follow up on a lead.
Youre going on a date.
Shes a reporter.
Who else knows more about the Hamptons people than her?
All right, so I like the girl. Youre the one always telling me to settle down.
And you should.
But that dont mean I got to go with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.
All right. Look. Just go to dinner. Okay?
Lm only gonna be a couple of hours and III meet you back at the club.
- You promise? - I promise?
Lm serious, dude. Promise.
I do. Im serious. All right.
And if you need to use protection...
tell Latrell theres an extra shower curtain in the bathroom.
Hop in.
Take your time. Watch those marshmallows.
Ease on in there, now.
I wont bite unless you ask me to.
You are so beautiful.
Good boy, Baby.
How about we listen to a little bit of music?
What the...
How did you know? I love this song!
Making my way downtown Walking fast
Faces pass And Im home bound
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall Into the sky
Do you think time Would pass me by
Cause you know Id walk A thousand miles
If I could Just see you
Tonight
- Good evening, madam. Welcome to Bella. - Thank you.
What are you doing here?
I came to borrow the car and the keys to his house.
Are you crazy? If you crash this mans car, he will kill you.
I wont crash it. Look. Just call me before you leave. Ill bring it back.
Then you meet me back at the club.
No, my brother. You got to get your own.
Help me.
Thank you.
May I bring you something from the bar?
Let me have a bottle of your best champagne.
- And bring us some oysters. - Very good, sir.
I have to say, I was so...
I was happy when I bought you at the auction.
I mean, its very rare I have the opportunity to...
bask in the ambience of such a classy lady such as yourself.
Oh, my God!
- I am humbled by your... - This athletes foot is just killing me.
...beautiful nature. - That smell. Thats infection.
- The most high-classness of your... - My God. Is that a hangnail?
Captivated by your beauty.
Your bountiful curves remind me of the hills in Italy.
Im sorry. You were saying?
- Thats perfect. Thank you. - Are you ready to order?
Yes, III have the chicken. White meat only.
And for the lady, perhaps a salad?
Perhaps not. Ill have the steak, smothered in onions.
A rack of ribs. Pasta with extra garlic.
French fries with lots of vinegar and a side of onion rings with lots of sauerkraut.
Have you ever had oysters?
Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?
Sorry.
My tongues kind of big.
Itll open. Hold it!
III push. Yeah. See, that did it there.
Just a little turn.
Theres so many keys involved...
sometimes its hard to figure out whats what.
Its Mei Ling.
What are you doing here? Girl, its late!
Come on, now. You have to go home. Get some rest.
You cannot stay. There are laws against this kind of workmanship.
Theyll think lm running some kind of sweatshop.
That girl does not know when to go home.
Im telling you, she will stay here and just clean forever.
This is really nice.
Yeah, this is dope.
Dope summer home I picked, boy.
Whos that?
The big, buff, bald dude with the fur?
Thats my trainer.
You have your trainer on your wall?
Yes, well, for inspiration. I want to look like that one day and...
I come in every morning and I look at the... You ever see Titanic?
- No, I havent seen it. - Me, either. You want something to drink?
- Yeah, sure. A glass of wine would be nice. - Wine.
Okay, so III get you a glass of wine and...
Thatd be in the kitchen, right?
I dont know. This is your house, Latrell.
Who? Oh, me! Latrell.
Thats right. Im Latrell. Thats right.
Im going to get you a bottle of my wine in my house.
Its my house and I live here
Damn, little lady!
You sure can put it away.
Youre so funny.
Voila!
You have a dog.
No, I dont have no damn dog.
Well, then whose dog is that?
Shit.
Thats not no dog.
Thats family.
Hey, cousin.
Come here, boy.
He looks really mad! Are you okay?
Yeah, lm fine. He just misses me, thats all.
Okay, boy, playtimes over. Let me up!
- You want me to go for help? - No, were just having fun.
You sure are playful today.
You want to go for a walk, boy?
III be right back!
You know what? Forget this! Lm out of here!
I dont want to go on a date with a guy and his dog is biting him and...
Whats he doing now? Whats that?
Dont pay him no mind.
Hes just going to do that until he falls asleep.
Now, where were we? Wine!
You know, I like a woman with a little extra something.
A little cushion for the pushing.
Id really love for you to come to one of my games.
No, thank you. Ive seen you play. Not impressed.
Excuse me? Lm the highest scoring forward in the league!
But all that talent? Totally overshadowed by nothing but scandals and pure laziness.
Come on! Youre shooting under 50%% from the free throw line, okay?
Your turnover ratio, abysmal.
And on top of that, you cant shoot three-pointers to save your life. So...
squeeze me.
No ones ever cared like that before.
Come here, baby!
Oopsie! I had a poopsie.
Girl, were going to get along just fine.
Back at you!
- Bask in the ambience! - Im going to be sick.
So, no. I jump over the fence, fall. I scrape my knee.
- Get out of here. - No, seriously, listen.
I scrape my knee. I get chased by the cops and I spend the night in jail.
Thats insane. You did all that just to find J-Lo and Bens hideaway?
I cant help it. You know, investigative journalism is my passion.
So howd you end up writing puff pieces for the local news?
Unfortunately, I made some enemies...
and ended up getting fired from my last job.
What happened?
Believe me, you dont want to know about that.
Look, I spent all night talking about myself.
Sometimes its good for a man to just sit back and listen.
Well, since you put it that way.
I did this piece on Warren Vandergeld.
Him and his partners tried to swindle a guy.
You talking about Ted Burton?
Yeah, how did you know that?
It was in the paper. I read about it.
But what they didnt report in the paper...
was that Burton was 10 times smarter than all of them.
He embezzled millions and stashed it in an offshore account.
When Vandergeld heard the story was going to break...
he didnt want to be embarrassed.
Well, there goes my job.
You know, youre a good listener.
It seems like you have the whole package.
Man!
- Hello? - Kev, you got to go.
- What? Now? - Yeah, now. Were on our way.
Cant you stall him for a little while?
Look, this man sang to me. He tried to kiss me and on top of that...
he been farting for the last 20 minutes.
All right, III be there in a minute. Bye.
- Cottontail! - Im coming, nigger!
Gomez, what the hell are we looking for?
I dont know. Something just isnt right about these girls.
Im gonna check the bathroom.
Find anything?
No. Not yet.
You wont believe what I... What the hell are you doing?
Sniffing chicks underwear, man. What is the big...
Its... What?
Theyre guys, arent they?
You really are disgusting.
- Latrell, my man! Whats going on, brother? - Whats up, man?
- Two apple martinis. - You hitting that, bro?
- This is a tough one to crack. - Tiffany Wilson?
She puts the E in easy.
Here. Drop a couple of these babies in her drink, man.
Are you sure this will work?
Man, I just took two of them, and lm telling you...
Im boinking someone tonight, you know?
Excuse me.
Thats for you, my little Miracle Whip.
You need to loosen up. There you go.
Thats for you.
- Oh, my God! Is that Britney Spears? - Where?
Right over there. Forget it, she just left.
Oops, she did it again.
- Lets drink up. - Lets do it.
To the last drop.
Thats good. You want to dance?
You know, thats a great idea. Here, hold Baby. Lets go, girls.
I found out some interesting information. Ted Burton turned the tables on Vandergeld.
Tucked away $100 million.
Been living the high life ever since he got out of prison.
There goes our motive.
Those skanks think theyre hot?
Lets show them what sexy really is.
They want to battle. Lets go, girls.
You girls want some of this?
Bring it on, sisters!
Okay, lets do it!
Five, six, seven, eight.
Come on.
Hold on.
I know you hookers dont think this is over with.
Lets kick it old school.
They suck!
Oh, my God!
We won!
Come on, lets go.
Get out of my way! Move it!
I need a drink.
Hey, Latrell, my man.
So did it work, man?
I dont know.
But I got to dance.
I got to hit this.
Hold the dog.
Let it out.
Let it out.
Oh, yeah. Now its out.
I paid thousands of dollars on this outfit...
and do you think he even noticed?
Its going to be okay.
Little Miss Vandergeld walks in...
and he just forgets all about me.
Okay, let it out.
I wonder...
if he would think she was so hot...
if he knew that she is broke.
Vandergelds broke?
We mustnt talk of such things.
No, we wont.
But, yes, theyre broke.
My father even had to loan her father money...
just so that they could keep their house.
They just paid us back.
- You guys, I love you guys. - We love you, too.
I love you so much!
Thank you.
Can we get you some gum or a mint or something?
Hey, little girl.
Really? I love you, too.
What the hell are you doing? Give me her!
Sicko. Wheres Latrell?
Dance floor.
Good morning, snowflake.
Oh, my God. Brittany!
- What? - Were on page six.
- No. - Yeah.
Look. Wilson sisters rock Hamptons.
- Wilsons rock! - We rocked!
Wait. We werent in the Hamptons this weekend.
No! Weve been cloned!
Hes got to be around here somewhere.
Girl, wait a minute. Isnt that Marcus right there?
- Thats him, all right. Old lying dog! - Caught you.
That sounds like Gina.
- Dont answer it. Shell go away. - No, she wont.
Im not going anywhere until you open this door!
- I told you! What am I going to do? - Just get rid of her.
Ill get rid of her. You hide the stuff.
- Im not playing with you! - Coming, baby!
What is all that noise?
Nothing! Okay, baby, lm coming!
Lm coming. Hide.
Hey, baby! Hi, boo-boo.
- Nice room you got, Marcus. - Hey, baby, what you doing here?
- I could ask you the same question. - Me?
Lm on assignment.
Are you wearing lipstick?
No. Thats Kool-Aid. You want some?
You know, its filled with lots of vitamin C and riboflavin.
Is that a bra?
No, this?
This is the new holsters they gave us at work.
Theyre government issue. You can put two guns in there and just...
Freeze, FBI!
- I know somebodys in here. - Baby, nobodys in here.
See? Nobodys in here.
- Check under the bed... - What do you mean, Check under the bed?
- I heard somebody on the phone. - Check under the bed!
- Thats where everybody hides! Check it! - Marcus! Nobody can fit!
See, nobody here, right? Nobody there.
- Ill look in the bathroom. - Wait! No! Dont check the bathroom!
You dont want me to check the bathroom!
See? Nothing in the bathroom. Nobody in the room. See?
I told you no one was here. See?
You know, baby, this gotta stop!
- We cant have love if we dont have trust. - I know, but look.
I was at the restaurant and the card wouldnt go through...
Listen. If we dont have trust, we dont have nothing.
This is not about trust. This is about...
There she is, right there!
Now, baby. I can explain.
- I knew it. - Baby, its not what you think.
- Baby, its not what you think. - Dont you even say nothing to me!
I can explain. Baby, its not what you think.
Hes a man!
Youre sick!
We have to find them and stop them before they execute their evil plan.
We have to find them and stop them before they execute their evil plan.
- Wait, what do they look like? - Duh, us!
Afternoon, ladies.
The Chief would like to have a word with you.
My God, Tiffany. Theyre the Men in Black.
Come on.
- Easy, Ponch and Jon. My hair! - Lets move it along, pal.
- Wait a minute! - Lets go!
Chief, we just got confirmation that Burtons arrived at JFK.
I want him trailed. Give him plenty of room. I dont want anyone jumping the gun.
I want to get this guy red-handed.
- Get your hands off of me! - Lets go.
- Hey, easy! - Right this way, girls.
What the hell you guys doing with the Wilson sisters?
- Chief, these arent the Wilson sisters. - No, sir.
Chief, check this out.
My God! What are you doing?
- Thats on there pretty good. - Let her go.
Thats nothing, Chief.
How about...
- Those are nice. - Thats enough!
I dont know how he did that...
but you cant fake these.
My God! Look whos here. Its that beautiful...
Save it!
Because of you, I had to suspend two of my best agents!
- Chief, I can explain. - I dont want to hear it!
Youre just lucky we caught Burton before he could strike.
But Burton is not our guy!
Let me guess: Womens intuition?
Youre both fired.
Turn in your guns and your badges. This operation is over!
- Come on, Chief! You cant fire us. - I just did.
Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourself.
- Look, all we got to do is... - Wait.
We? Kevin, this aint about we.
Its never been. Its about you.
You come up with some stupid idea and lm dumb enough to go along with it.
And look where its gotten me, Kevin.
I just lost my wife and my job because of you.
So dont tell me about we no more, all right?
They bought it. The FBI is packing up.
Theyll be out of our hair in a couple hours.
We could make the grab tonight.
You sure you and your friend can get the job done?
Would I let you down, Mr. V?
- Hey, man. I just want to say sorry. - Forget about it, dude.
No. Youre right. Youre absolutely right. Ive been selfish.
Im always dragging you into everything. I never even asked what you want to do.
I dont know, theres something about always having you around, that just...
makes me want to step up my game.
I guess its because I always know youre gonna have my back.
Hello?
Thanks.
- Who was that? - That was Josh.
Turns out that Vandergelds prints was all over the ransom note.
- What are you doing? - Calling the Chief.
No, you aint! You said we could do this on our own, right?
What about backup?
I got you, you got me. Thats all the backup we need.
Triple T-K-A.
Time to totally kick ass!
Three generations at the Bureau and lm the first to get fired.
My dad is going to kill me!
Yeah? What? Who?
- Copeland! - Copeland, you dick!
Youve got a lot of nerve, calling.
Where?
- You better not be wrong about this. - What?
- We might be getting our jobs back. - What are you talking about?
- We gotta go. - What do you mean, go?
How about this? RuPaul or Whoopi Goldberg?
- I told you, lm not playing your games. - Come on!
- Any sign of Vandergeld? - I dont see him.
All right, keep an eye out for him.
If its going down, its going to go down here.
Thank God! There you are! I did it.
- You did what? - I got you into the fashion show!
Brittany, did you hear that? Were in the fashion show.
Not if we dont get moving. Come on, lets go!
- Get the lead out, ladies. - I mean, its like you forgot.
- You mean the Wilson sisters are in? - And were out?
Lm sorry. Thats just the way it is. Theyre hot, youre not! So deal with it.
- You! Straighten up that blouse, now! - Thats impossible!
Weve been on that catwalk every summer for six years straight!
Lets just cut to the chase.
Who do we have to sleep with for us to get in the show?
Honey, youre so barking up the wrong tree right now. Really!
If you nail this, youre a shoo-in for the cover of Hamptons.
Darlings! Where have you been?
Megan! Dont!
This is unacceptable.
They just messed with the wrong girls!
Lve been looking everywhere for you.
Can we get the Wilson sisters their outfits now, please? Go.
- Can we talk? - Of course.
You were incredible at the nightclub last night.
- Thank you. Thanks. - Incredible.
And Heather will be leaving after the party tonight, and I was thinking...
maybe you could come by around 2:00?
Make that 3:00 a.m.
You know what?
I dont think so.
Excuse me?
You think lm just a booty call.
Well, lm not.
I deserve better than that.
Im tired of being your doormat.
Honey...
what makes you think youre that special?
- Bastard. - Excuse me.
Asswipe!
- Youre going to regret that. - Im so scared.
Oh, my God! Tiffany!
- Thank you so much, honey. - I am so proud of you.
Thanks. I just wish I didnt feel so crappy.
Honey.
Sometimes a man cant see when he has someone so special...
sitting right in front of him.
Are you, like, a lesbian?
- I better go get changed. - Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, this evening we are proud to present...
the fall couture line, Aubrey Allure. Please take your seats.
- Excuse me? - Youre not on the list.
Invitation, my ass! They dont know how we do it.
- Lets just blend. - All right.
Go! Get going! Move it!
Didnt we just have this conversation?
Can we get these fantastic supermodels...
- back into their dressing rooms? - I cant believe it!
- They changed that quick! - Amazing!
These ought to get the critics attention.
Second changes, everybody! Go! Now!
Thisll be a nice little treat.
My God! Whats happening?
Thats not mine!
Lets get out of here!
Lm sorry!
Just give me your hand. Itll be okay.
Im so sorry. Oh!
Come here! I got you!
Here we go. Up!
- My God! - I hope shes okay.
Im ruined.
Looks like some people just dont know when to quit. Come on, girls.
- Help me. - I got you.
Karen, what are you doing?
Look, someone has got to give those girls a taste of their own medicine.
So revolutionary! Its so bold and so...
So brilliant!
Everybody, theyre imposters!
Hit the lights.
Wheres Brittany?
Where are you?
Get down!
I told you you were going to regret it.
You hit like a bitch! Come on.
You run and III shoot you. Come on.
- My turn. - Mama?
Girl, we going to need some backup.
Girl, call NayNay and LaQuanda.
Tell them to bring the Vaseline and the straight razors.
These bitches are on some other shit!
Whats going on?
- Dont touch my dress! - Vandergelds got Tiffany!
What? No one messes with my queen!
Marcus! Are you okay?
- No. - Whats wrong?
These damn G-strings are killing me!
- Freeze! - FBI.
You guys take care of them. Were going after Vandergeld.
Copeland! Youre going to need this.
Come on, lets go.
FBI! Freeze!
Daddy, what are you doing?
Why dont you take your mother and your sister and go on home?
Daddy, why are you doing this?
Daddy didnt tell you? Hes broke.
What do you mean, broke?
Like Martha Stewart broke or MC Hammer broke?
- MC Hammer broke! - No!
Lve been funneling money out of the charity into a private account, just to get us by!
Are you filming this?
III give you something to shoot!
- Get out of my way! - I cant do that.
Drop it!
I got you, man. Man, well get that stain out. Dont even worry.
Dont move!
Warren Vandergeld, you are under arrest!
I just want to tell you, I appreciate what you did. That was real brave of you.
I had no choice. I couldnt let them take my one true love away.
Hey, dude. Im not what you think I am.
Baby, we all got secrets. Thats okay.
Are you telling me that you are not...
- Yeah. Im not a woman. - White?
The deception! The betrayal, man! You deceived me!
Calm down. Im an FBI agent. I was uncovering a...
Negro, please!
Didnt somebody tell you this was an all-white party?
Someone get this jigaboo away from me!
Are you okay?
Yes, lm fine. Thank you.
So, do I get to see my knight in shining armor?
- Well... - Get a leg!
Get off me!
What do you mean? Lm going to let you have it!
- You aint never met nobody like me! - Its me!
You dont know who you messing with! My names Gina!
Its me.
This is some Jerry Springer shit!
Once again, you guys managed to do everything I told you not to do.
You caused over $250,000 worth of damage.
Two people were shot.
But at least you got the right guy.
- Good work. - Thanks a lot, Chief.
But we couldnt have done it without Gomez and Harper.
All right, III see you all in the office tomorrow.
Good work, guys.
Who will be featured on the cover of Hamptons Magazine?
I have to take care of some business.
See you guys on Monday.
So, who do you think wore those panties you were sniffing?
Kevin or Marcus?
- Gomez, I told you. I was looking for DNA. - Oh, yeah.
What are you laughing at, Denzel?
Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!
You guys got some work to do?
Lm Denise Porter. Good night.
Im Kevin Copeland. Im an FBI agent.
I make $30,000 a year after taxes.
I dont drive a Bentley and I dont have a house on a hill.
But Id really like to take you out.
Are you kidding me? Any man...
who would jump in front of a bullet for me...
can definitely take me on a date.
- Come on, girl, lets go. - Wait, could I just please...
- I have nothing more to say to you. - I know. Just listen to me, please.
Gina, I lied to you.
Ive hid things from you.
But I have never cheated on you. But I am guilty.
Im guilty of paying more attention to my job than I do my wife.
Im guilty of not appreciating all the little things you do for me.
Like getting your hair done.
Wearing that sweet-smelling Chanel cologne I love so much.
But my biggest crime is that I didnt tell you I loved you every single day.
- Youre not going to let him off that easy. - Will you shut up?
I love you.
A wheelchair?
Yes, but the feeling will come back, I promise.
Making my way downtown Walking fast
Faces pass And Im home bound
Backup, Tony.
Hey, girls.
So you guys were pretending to be them the entire time?
Yes, we were. But we was only doing our job.
I hope you guys arent too pissed off at us.
Were so bummed!
We liked Brittany and Tiffany...
so much more when you were them.
So much more!
So I guess this means we wont be hanging out any more?
Dont say that. Of course, we will hang out.
Oh, yeah. Well all get together and were gonna go...
shopping!
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WAR
Wag The Dog
Waga seishun ni kuinashi 1946
Wait Until Dark CD1
Wait Until Dark CD2
Waking Ned Devine (1998)
Waking Ned Divine
Waking Up In Reno
Walk On The Moon A 1999
Walk To Remember A
Walk on Water
Walk on the Wild Side
Walking With Beasts BBC Part02 Whale Killer
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Walking and Talking 1996
Walking tall (2004)
Walking with Dinosaurs
Wall Street
Wall The
Wanted 2003
WarGames (1983) CD1
WarGames (1983) CD2
War CD1
War CD2
War Game The
War Game The (author commentary)
War Hunt 1962
War Is Over The (Alain Resnais 1966)
War Lover The 1962
War Zone The
War and Peace CD1
War and Peace CD2
War of the Roses The
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Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (Shohei Imamura 2001) CD2
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth 2003 CD1
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Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD1
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD2
Warriors The
Wasabi 2001
Wash The
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Watcher The
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Water Drops on Burning Rock
Waterboy The
Waterboys 2001
Waterloo 1970 CD1
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Waters Edge
Watership Down
Waterworld
Way We Were The
Way of the Gun The
Waynes World
Waynes World 1992
Waynes World 2
We Are No Angels 1989
We Dont Live Here Anymore
We Were Soldiers
Weapon of War CD1
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Wedding Planner The
Wedding Singer The
Wedlock 1991
Weekend Godard 1967
Weekend at Bernies II
Weight of Water The
Weird Science CD1
Weird Science CD2
Welcome Back Mr McDonald 1997
Welcome To Mooseport
Welcome to Collinwood (2002)
Welcome to Sarajevo
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Wes Cravens New Nightmare
West Side Story CD1
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West Wing The
Westler
Westworld (1973)
Whale Rider
Whale Rider 2002
Whales Of August The 1987
Whasango CD1
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What About Bob (1991)
What Dreams May Come CD1 1998
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What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD1
What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD2
What Lies Beneath CD1
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What Planet Are You From
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What Women Want
What Women Want CD1
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What a Girl Wants
What a Way to Go 1964
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane 1962
Whatever It Takes
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD1
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD2
Whats Love Got To Do With It 1993
Whats New Pussycat
Whats The Worst That Could Happen
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Wheels on Meals
When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD1
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When Harry Met Sally
When I Turned Nine 2004 CD1
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When Ruoma Was Seventeen 2002
When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD1
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When Will I Be Loved 2004
When the Rain Lifts 1999
When the Sky Falls
When we were kings
Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (James Neilson 1968)
Where Eagles Dare CD1
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Where The Heart Is
Where the Red Fern Grows 2003
Where the Sidewalk Ends
While You Were Sleeping
Whipped
Whirlpool 1949
Whisper of the Heart
White Chicks
White Dragon
White Fang - To the Rescue
White Man Cant Jump CD1
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White Palace
White Sheik The
White Sun Of The Desert 1970
White Valentine - 25fps - 1999
White Valentine 1999
Who Are You 2002 CD1
Who Are You 2002 CD2
Who Is Cletis Tout
Who framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Whole Nine Yards The
Whole ten yards The
Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD1
Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD2
Whos Harry Crumb
Whos That Knocking at My Door
Whos Your Daddy
Wicked - 29,970fps 1998
Wicked 1998
Wicked 1998 29,970fps
Wicked City - 1973
Wicked City 1973
Wicker Park CD1
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Wild Bunch The
Wild Bunch The - Restored Directors Cut
Wild One The
Wind Carpet The (Kamal Tabrizi 2003)
Wind Will Carry Us The CD1
Wind Will Carry Us The CD2
Wings of Desire CD1
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Wizard Of Darkness
Wizard of Oz The CD1
Wizard of Oz The CD2
Women from Mars
Women in Black The
World Is Not Enough The
Worst of Ed Wood Boxed Set The