Who Is Cletis Tout
Oh... what's the name
of that Burt Reynolds picture|with the banjo?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
that one|with that retarded kid.
He was good, that guy.
Yeah, he was good.
Coupla nights ago, me and Denise
we popped that into the DVD.
We're about an hour|into this thing
and I start|thinking to myself
"this story ain't|very realistic."
You're a lonely mountain man.
They're destroying your home.
They've taken your job.
There is no place|to set your still.
You are angry-|they've destroyed
everything that|validates your manhood.
You're confused;|your sexuality is in question.
You decide you're going|to hit for the other side.
You want yourself|some man meat-
I understand that-|but wouldn't you wait
for Burt Reynolds|to come downriver?
off to see the world
there's such a lot of world
we're after the same...
waitin' 'round the bend
my Huckleberry friend
This is critical Jim,|the hit man.
He loves two things:|his job and old movies.
This is me- Finch.
I'm his mark.
He thinks I'm Cletis Tout.
I have Tout.
Gladstone hotel, #8.
Transfer funds|to Telmark Konickson.
"M" as in McQueen.
"F," as in Fonda.
"T" as in Tracy
"K" as in Kubrick.
You've got 90 minutes|or I let him go.
It's almost hypnotic.
You know why?
The third act.
It has a third act.
You don't see that|in movies these days.
These days...|it's all about the gimmick.
Great set up...
Great first act...
...then, "let's blow|something up."
When you concentrate|on the gimmick
and you shortchange|the ending
the audience|leaves unfulfilled.
Man, there's nothing like...
...a great movie.
I love the movies.
I mean, the old movies
you know, where it|was all about the story.
I've got a story.
I'll bet you do.
Yeah, yeah,|this one's got it all-
prison break, jewel heist...
It's a Hollywood thing.
It's where the asshole|with all the power
you know,|makes you dance like a monkey.
What's in it for me?
Maybe you get|to live a little longer.
Maybe if your story's so good
when that pager rings,|I might forget where I am...
I'm at the movies.
Nobody remembers their job|at the movies.
Uh, well, let's see, uh...
I think it was 1977,|New York City...
no, no. No, no, no.
No one will shoot in New York.
It's way too expensive.
Let's call it|"city non-specific."
And the whole thing's|in the '70s?
No, no, just the...|just the beginning.
Like a flashback.
I love the flashback-
much maligned,|oft-misunderstood flashback.
It was 1977...
the uh, the city's|diamond exchange.
There was a magician...
What time was it?
I need to get a feel
for the setting.
Uh, 4:00 p.m.- Closing time.
My apologies, sister.
the school day ends|at 3:00 p.m. Promptly.
We're not a baby-sitting|service.
No time to talk, sister.
That's not it, is it?
Is that how it ends?
He just buries the diamonds|in a field?
No, no, that's not it.
It's just the beginning.
It was, uh, september,|almost three weeks to the day.
I was serving seven years|in the federal pen
in north carolina-
fraud, forgery,|passports, documents.
I gave people new identities.
If you wanted to disappear,|I was the guy you called.
Micah Tobias- aka the magician.
25 years grand theft.
The take: diamonds.
Market value: $4.5 million,|never recovered.
I got your birds.
My job: two homing pigeons,|camera, Kodachrome film
and an escape plan.
My take: a cool million.
This day, we became partners.
I got your birds.
Are they marked?
The address you gave me.
Camera and film?
Already in your cell.
Alvie, I was|under the impression
this being a communal garden
we'd all take a vote|before we move the scarecrow.
I woke up this morning
and found out|that for the past two months
you've had your fist|up my ass.
I don't like your fist|in my ass, Finch.
Any free hand in this yard|steals for me.
You want anything,|you come to me.
That's the deal.
That's how it works!
I don't know where|you did your MBA work
but I believe|you're confusing "deal"
which is an arrangement|for mutual benefit...
Iisten, you|mother-fuckin' cocksucker
you don't know me.
I could cut your head|right off!
Stand down now!
You got a problem|with that, henry?
Iights out, men. Lights out.
Micah, how's it look?
I'll be out of here|soon enough.
We should stick|to the original plan.
You know he's going|to try and kill you.
I'll be okay.
Got to move it!
Move through the dirt.
Single file for mess.
Finch, get in!
You all right?
All right, we go on three.
One... two... three.
Let's go, come on.
One word, three syllables.
The clue is:|a need to disappear.
Finch! I thought|you were in jail!
No, I'm in a lot of trouble.
I need your help.
I need... I need a kit,|and I need a body.
Where are you?
I'm in the city.
There's a safe house|on the east side.
A bar called fillmore's.
Can you get there?
Ask for Delores.
Tell her Savian sent you.
She'll know what to do.
I got a friend.
55-year-old caucasian male
approximately five-nine,|150 pounds.
I'll see what I can do.
Where the hell you been?
Well, I couldn't hide them|in my jacket forever, could I?
Quite a deal, this cage.
Look at this-|got a faux bottom.
You can hide things|in it and everything.
God, the magician in me|just loves this stuff.
You're not Cletis Tout.
I've got a strong feeling|that before the day is out
someone's going|to make use of that
rather expressive, though|somewhat old-fashioned, term:
"Rebecca," United Artists, 1940.
If you're not Tout, who are you?
Cletis Tout was a bottom-feeder.
Called himself|a video journalist
but he was really just a thug
with a camera.
His client list included|all those tabloid shows.
His mark was anybody who made|their living in the public eye.
There was a bachelor party|for some mobster's son-
kid named Rowdy Virago.
His dad, "Paulie the fist," ran
a little group called|the vissari crime family.
Rowdy was high-profile.
He liked that movie star status
but every time he put his face|in front of a flashbulb
there was trouble.
Now Rowdy was tapped|to take over the family.
He was an untouchable.
You can only imagine what price|the tabloids would pay
for one shining moment in this|little Alice's wonderland...
but Tout could imagine it.
He made it his mission|to bring Virago down.
They picked up a hooker|about 11:30...
took her to a loft downtown.
Tout was there.
Tout thinks|he's hit the jackpot.
Virago's got|a bit of a problem:
he likes it rough.
Tonight he's got|a bigger problem:
she likes it rough, too.
That's when things went wrong.
He's got the poor girl|by the throat.
Tout made three copies|of the tape.
One he kept for himself
the second he mailed|to a neighbor
and a third he mailed|to paulie the fist.
Now here's the heir to the most|powerful crime family
in the city, and now|he's on the chopping block.
They got rid of the body,|and nobody'd come calling.
They thought|they were home free
until Tout|stuck his nose in.
So they decided to kill him.
This is impossible. Fuck it.
I ain't pushin' no more.
Maybe he's got his foot|on the brake.
Man, for a dead guy,|he drives good.
I got his hands wired|to the fuckin' wheel.
Oh. What's the name of|that, uh, fancy place?
The one that, uh,|makes all the donuts
with the sprinkles.
Oh, yeah, that place.
Ronnie Savalla's sister|works over there.
You know,|I think she's a man.
Yeah. She looks good.
You know, she's keeping|the, uh, sideburns short.
You smell smoke?
All right, then,|here's what we got-
we got a man|approximately six feet tall.
Uh, looks like|he pissed somebody off
'cause they shaked and baked him|before they shot him.
Yeah, small-caliber|machine gun.
What's different about you?
You know something?|you do look different.
work out|a little more lately, you know.
Eating a lot of fruit.
I went on a colon cleanse.
You need roughage
why don't you eat|the hairpiece?
Oh, that's it!
You got a piece!
Hell, yo, that... it's nice.
It was a hot afternoon.
I can still remember|the smell of honeysuckle
all along that street.
How could I have known
that murder can sometimes|smell like honeysuckle?
"Double Indemnity,"|Paramount, 1944.
The film's strength|is deftly crafted use
of the flashback.
Now here's my question:
can we have a flashback|within a flashback?
God, I hate this place.
What have we got?
Some hotshot named Savian.
Forensic pathologist,|works for the FBI.
He was in with the bodies
for about ten minutes|this morning.
What'd our guy come up with?
Nothing on the male.
Eh, they're pretty sure
that she was strangled.
- Pretty sure?|- Yeah.
No coffee in here.
This isn't "Quincy."
It'll be our|little secret, huh?
So, what do we have|for lunch?
Jane Doe number 1-0-9-Charlie.
25 years old.
Five foot, six inches tall.
You guys have done|a print search
blood work, stomach analysis.
As far as you can tell,|she liked hot dogs
and may have|been strangled.
Do you know the first thing
I look at when I see|a body like this?
The tits.|Straight for the tits.
I mean, look at this.
She's like a carnival ride.
The only company who makes|this model, Johnson Levy.
Behind every bag|is a serial number.
Behind every serial number
there's a name.
meet Merrill Candide.
I found|four different types
of spermicidal jelly-|the type used in condoms.
Now either Merrill|and her sweetheart
have been sampling rubbers|or sweet little Candide is...?
She's a hooker.
Would somebody get kojak|a sucker?
What killed her?
Compression scars|on the neck...
The lady's been strangled.
It's all in the file.
I'm going to need another|day for the hot-rodder-
you know, barbecue|boy next door.
All I got is|small-caliber machine gun
five gallons of gas|and a match.
And you say the only thing|that links these two
is the area|where they were found?
Dr. Savian,|phone call, line one.
One word, three syllables.
The clue is:|a need to disappear.
Finch, I thought you were|in jail.
I know we don't have|a lot of time
and I don't want|to know anything.
I'm going to keep it clean|and I'm going to keep it simp...
Not for long.
This is a freebie.
You kept me out of jail|by keeping your mouth closed.
I thank you.
My wife thanks you.
My children thank you.
This is the last time|you'll hear from me.
And I know this is the last time|I'll hear from you.
Here's your package.
You have a computer,|laser printer, camera
plenty of film
paper for photographs.
You have your trim kit.
There's enough here|to make you both
supporting id,|the whole nine yards.
Passports, I have a problem.
I can't access one|of the numbers
without fingers pointing.
Finch, this is going|to be your job.
You are now marcel zavoya.
55-year-old|unemployed office worker.
We found him|with his head in the oven.
His passport number I have.
This is you.
Be careful with this one, man.
Somebody set fire|to the poor bastard.
I have his address|and his vitals.
I even have his keys.
I found them three inches deep,|in his thigh.
You're going to have to go|to his house
and find his passport.
How much time you going to need?
Couple of weeks.
We, uh, we got a few things|we got to take care of.
You got $10,000|in cash.
It'll take you most places|you want to go.
This is a gift... from my wife.
Spend the night|here tonight.
Leave everything you|don't absolutely need.
There's a rack|with clothes.
Tomorrow, you are dead
and I never want to hear|from you again.
My brother, it is so good|to see you again.
Good to be seen.
Marcel, au revoir.
Take a look at this.
You've been completely|reinvented.
You are now officially|marcel zavoya.
There's your passport,|birth certificate...
You got to wear|your corrective lenses to drive.
You're an official
card-carrying member|of the aarp-
no senior should be without it.
And the coup de grace,|your sag card.
It's a dream you|always wanted to pursue.
Now that the kids are grown, you|finally found that "me" time.
Now for me
I got to get|Tout's passport number.
That's first on the list.
You can't dope the number?
I don't want to chance it.
Pick the wrong number,|it's over.
It shouldn't be a problem,|though.
It says here|the guy is a journalist.
My guess is, he has one.
Now the real question is
when do you want to go|after those diamonds?
What are you doing?
You know, it's funny-
in all the time I spent|with the old man
he never once mentioned|he had a daughter.
He found her.
I couldn't fault him for it.
Yeah, I was only along|out of circumstance.
I left them alone|for the time being.
I was sure they had|some catching up to do
more than 20 years worth.
Besides, I had other things|on my mind.
I needed that passport number.
Hello, mr. Tout.
It is Tout
So, you're my new neighbor.
I can tell you one thing-
I cannot wait for that|neighborhood watch meeting.
This came for me today.
The note said for me|to hold onto it
Till I heard from you.
It also said not to open it.
Next stop, mr. Tout,|the basement.
The dirty, dirty basement.
It's just Mrs. Stanton.
Her hobby is anything I do!
It's gotten to be
where I can't even bring|anyone home anymore.
But you... you're already home.
Stop in|for a drink sometime.
I'm up late.
Very, very late.
Detective Delaney, please.
Oh, Detective, I didn't expect|to get you so late.
Well, this is doris stanton.
You remember that you asked me
to let you know|if mr. Tout came by?
Well, he's at home right now.
We'll send somebody over|right away.
You got a big problem.
You got the wrong guy.
He's at home right now
and if you hurry,|you can catch him
but don't kill him|in the building
and if you do... whack|the old lady in number nine.
Hello, dip and shit.
How's your supper?
You killed the wrong guy,|that's what's wrong, putzo.
I give you|a simple job
and all you two can do|is blow so much smoke up my ass
it's a miracle I ain't died|of rectal cancer!
We got a bead on him?
He's at home right now.
Now, you take the car|and you do it right this time.
You hit him outside.
You get him a couple miles|away from the place.
I don't want anybody|seeing you do this.
And dump him body|on the west side this time!
You got a paper trail|helen keller could follow!
We should eat first.
Who the fuck's Helen Keller?
Passport's nowhere to be found.
I think this Tout|was in serious trouble.
You should see the gig|they pulled on his apartment.
Iooks like a dump site.
On top of that,|I'm officially paranoid.
I could swear|I was being followed.
Finch, we got a plan.
Yeah, what's that?
Tomorrow, we go|for the diamonds.
What, she knows?
What the hell are you doing?
You know better than to tell|some dame.
- Dame?|- Let me ask you something.
Do you have any idea|what you're getting
You're aiding and abetting|a fugitive. That's a felony.
Did you actually|just call me a dame?
What, you've been in prison|since the '50s?
You think|you're in the rat pack?
Listen, Ma Barker...
I'm not listening to another|word from this guy.
You're not in charge,|all right?
I-I'm a career criminal.|I should be in charge.
I'm the superhero of crime.
I should have a big "C"|on my chest.
I like this girl.
She's like the classic|film ingenue-
bright, complicated,|but with a softer side...
Iike katharine hepburn.
And you know what else?
I think the old man knew|this was coming.
That's why he|brought her along.
This supposed to impress me?
She's okay because she breaks|into a- a pottery shop?
This isn't a crime;|this is... this is embarrassing.
Breaking into a bank,|that's a crime.
When's the last time
you broke into someplace|with a key?
About two hours ago.
Well, at least it'll make
for some story|in the prison mess.
"What are you in for?"|"Broke into a kiln."
Better yet,|when the judge asks me
how do I plead
I'll just give him|that glazed look.
Daddy, I put together|some things.
Uh, sweetheart,|that's all well and good
if you're stealing|the hope diamond.
Fortunately, we're just|trying to break into a field
and, uh...|you know how I feel about that.
What is that,|a gun?
You keep a gun|in a pottery shop?
Oh, I just...
I love this one.
What is it?
It's an urn.
Ah. An urn.
That explains the gun.
Oh, god. Oh, it's incredible.
How many people die
or get killed in|this city every day?
And the one guy|I choose to be
is the only dead guy|in the city
Everybody wants to kill.
Micah, see anything out there?
Wait, wait, wait. What happened?|Did they get him?
I mean, he just found her.
He's got to give her
The diamonds|to make things right.
Did-did he have time|to say good- bye?
He didn't die right there?
Well, that's really|all kind of a blur, you know?
just remember bits and pieces.
He said he wanted|to go to the park.
We were all alone.
He said he wanted me|to take care of her.
Made me promise him.
There was a feather.
"there's magic in something|as simple as a feather."
Whatever the heck that means.
And then he died.
Guess what, fuckos?|you missed again.
Yeah, 500 rounds
and the only damage is|a ceramic bath set
and a 50-year-old man.
Iet me ask you something.
Is this some sort|of master plan?
You kill all Tout's associates|so we got nobody to play with?
What, we trying to bore him|to death here?
Huh? Make him so despondent
at the thought of no buddies|that he puts a gun in his mouth?
What the fuck's wrong with you?!
Call Critical Jim.
So, um, how many people|have you killed?
"I don't believe|I've ever killed a man
that didn't deserve it."
"The Shootist,"|Warner Brothers, 1976.
Hey, look,|killing's a business.
The truth is,|they all deserved it.
Hey, I have a reputation.
I clean up people's|dirty little secrets.
When that pager rings
that mean you're going|to kill me?
"Haven't you learned the rules
"of probability and outcomes?
"Aren't you aware|that every question
"of life or death
remains a probability|until the outcome?"
"Heaven can wait." Paramount.
Have you ever been|to a movie?
Tell me more about the girl.
Well, we hadn't spoken|in about a week.
I tried to contact her|after Micah died
but she'd have nothing of it.
So, I checked in here|at the gladstone.
Couldn't get the old man's|voice out of my head.
Four years I spent with him
and all I could think about was|the last thing he said to me.
"Take care of her."
I can't even take care|of myself.
And then it hit me.
I think I know how|to find the diamonds.
What? I thought we|could partner up on this thing.
You know, I mean,|split it 50/50.
Honor among thieves and all.
Don't let me into your group.
You're the superhero of crime.
You're the one with the big "C"|on his chest, remember?
Obviously, you do.
Iook, I'm not splitting anything|with you 50/50.
Do you know why?
Because there should be|some sort of a clause
a jiggins clause.
Do you know|what a jiggins is?
It's a congenital idiot,|a mongoloid.
So, every time|you do something stupid
every time|you give me the jiggins
I take five percent.
Now, it's been one week|with the map.
That was stupid.|That's a jiggins- 55/45.
Hey, this has nothing|to do with your dad.
This is about you.
You just want it|all for yourself.
It's not the diamonds.|I want the box.
I just want the box.
You've obviously|touched a nerve.
The box- it must|mean something to her.
Tess, come on.
What do you want from me?
I'll tell you what I want.
I want you to shut|your pie hole!
Okay, look, I'm coming up,|all right?
Look, how many times
do I have to say I'm sorry?
It's not a jiggins.
It's a mistake.
I mean, it's dark up here.
I can't see anything.
Failure to comprehend|the concept.
Let me ask you a question.
Are you possessed|by the devil?
Hmm. That's funny. Very funny.
And I don't mean "ha-ha" funny.
I mean, "I've been|in prison for 20 years
and feel comfortable|in pumps" kind of funny.
Ha. Suppression|of sexual tendencies.
Not very evolved.
Okay, that's it.|I got my own clause.
Tell me if you know|what this word means, all right?
What the hell is all this crap?
You're a freak.
Oh, is that your clause?
'cause that was, uh, nine words.
Well, eight with|a contraction.
I mean, you asked me
if knew what a word meant.
That's singular.|"Word" is singular.
"What's all this crap?|You're a freak" is plural
in terms of words, anyway.
Oh, no, it's singular.
Why? because I'm|running them all together
because this is my word,|my clause
the-the "what's all this crap?|You're a freak" clause
known henceforth|as "the clause."
Now, every time|you break the clause
I take back ten percent.
Let's see how many times|you've broken the clause.
How about|ever since I met you?
Do you know what that means?
You not only owe me 100%
of that map,|but for the next 50 years
you have to kiss|my red, rosy, puckered crack.
Ooh. That was nice.
"Kiss my rosy, red,|puckered crack."
I should shoot you right now.
Wow. I'm just telling you|what happened.
I, uh... I didn't realize I was|going to be critiqued here.
What's my name?
What do you suppose that means?
Where are we going now?
Uh, after the diamonds.
Under the old man's tree?
Tess found the old man's tree|or what was left of it...
and the diamonds,|they were safe...
safe behind the walls|of a minimum- security prison.
Now, we're moving.
Classic plot twist.
They'll never see it coming.
Now, if you'd just get|this love story off the ground
We'd have ourselves a picture.
It's late in the second act,|and we need a back story.
Who is this girl?
What's the deal|with the birds?
They're homing pigeons.
When my father|went to prison
they were the only way|we could communicate.
It actually works?
I thought it was|just some story from the war.
Yeah, he had them tagged
to the house|my foster family lived in.
Where was your mom?
She died when I was six.
When I was eight, I was moved|to another foster family
and the birds never came back.
I thought for sure|he'd forgotten me.
He found me.
What's so important|about the box?
It's just|this dumb little picture.
Here you go.
Are you crying?
This thing's worse|than "terms of endearment."
But at least we have|our tag line.
"you thought it was hard|breaking out of prison-
try breaking in."
You are going|to break in again.
You got to get the box
and then it means|so much to her.
When I get like this, I hate it.
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
It's for the story.|Make it much more interesting.
Use your hands now.
Gesture, all right.
All right,|what we need now is some action
some bang-bang|shoot- 'em- up action
just like when I first met you.
The diamonds|were a moot point...
or were they?
I was on my way|back to the gladstone.
My worst fear|wasn't getting caught.
My worst fear was|getting killed.
I was a man|with a death sentence.
Somebody wanted me dead,|but why?
Then it hit me.
The Maltese falcon.
My god, they wanted|the Maltese falcon.
So I waited|until it got dark
and I went back to Tout's.
"This is my life.
"It always will be.
"There's nothing else-|just us and the camera
and those wonderful people|out there in the dark."
"All right, Mr. Demille.
I'm ready for my close-up."
Well, hello, captain naughty.
Somebody's|in all kinds of trouble.
Oh, my puckish little rogue.
So tired of running|from the law?
The big, strapping law.
We know your little secret.
You're part dillinger|and part adonis.
Could you guys just excuse|me for a couple of minutes?
I'll be right with you.
Oh, yo, man, look.
Hey, you know what?
That shit ain't right.
Hey, we gotta finish...
I'm for real, man!
You make me...
Look. Look at me, brother!
Come here, man!
What's your problem, bitch?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
First thing is
I'm not your bitch.
I'm a concerned citizen
and I don't like what|you're doing to my country.
Well, that's great
What are you going|to do about it, huh?
Hey! I like that|Captain America nickname.
How about Captain American?
The last four letters|intrigue me.
That should be
a fucking motto around here.
What can you do when people
start doing|bullshit like this?
You know what?
I can kill them.
That's what I can do.
You know what I want|you to do right now?
Come over here and draw
on your buddy's|head right here
"I will not deface|these United States of America"
and the rest of you, all of you
pull out your paint|and your crayons
and start defacing each other.
I thought you little fuckers|liked tattoos.
Come on!|let's start painting!
That, my friend,|is how you button a scene-
classic john wayne|don't mess with america.
You're a true patriot.
You know who you sound like?
Anybody ever tell you that?
Now we're ready|for the third act.
I know how to|get the diamonds.
Do you know how to fire a gun?
My name is Cletis Tout.
I have reason to believe|that my life is in danger.
You'll never guess who just|walked into the 14th precinct.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Have they seen the tape?
Evidently, he didn't|mention the tape.
He claims to have|seen it all
with his own two eyes.
I'll kill that shit|and fuck his whole family!
Cops are going to|want to question you.
What do I do?
You do nothing.
We need to get to Tout.
So what do you think?
Got an awful lot|of the right information.
Pretty amazing charge.
Would you like to|take a little ride?
No, you can|leave the birds.
Mr. Tout, there are|four corpses here.
Please point out the woman|you saw Rowdy Virago kill.
This is the girl.
Iet the record state|that Mr. Tout identified
This is Cletis Tout.
He just named a suspect|in our triple homicide.
Nice to see a man like you|these days.
Nice to be seen.
Mr. Tout, you|recognize this man?
What makes you think
someone's trying|to kill you, Mr. Tout?
I got a little greedy|with the wrong bunch.
Instead of coming|to you guys first
I went to the source.
Now what exactly is it
you do for a living,|Mr. Tout?
I'm a photojournalist.
I take pictures.
Huh, sounds more|like extortion to me.
Hey, guys, I'm going|to get a coffee.
Anybody need any?
- No.|- I'm fine.
Meet you outside.
Oh, get down!
Go, go, go!
All right, here's|where we're at.
I just talked|to the da.
We're going to put you|up in a safe house.
That place off crown.
No, no, no safe house.
It's too dangerous.
They can get to me there.
You got a better suggestion?
I want to go to jail.
I don't get it. Who goes|to jail unless they have to?
This guy's on the make.
I can smell it. It's too smart.
What jail did he say|he wanted to go to?
That minimum security?
Well, maybe he's on the story.
Check in with cleary brand,|all right?
See if they got anybody|important inside.
Delaney, I want you|to find out everything
about our mr. Tout,|all right?
Go to his house,|talk to his neighbors.
Horst, go to the tv show|he works for.
Raff and I will|work the streets
see if we can pin|this on Virago.
About the only good thing|I can think of
is if he's in jail,|he ain't going nowhere.
It was agreed upon
that I should be given|no special privileges
the thought being I would draw|no undue attention to myself.
I made only two requests:
that I be able to keep my birds|with me at all times
and that I be allowed|to keep up with my gardening.
I told them it leveled my head.
Now why do you suppose|he's digging there?
I don't know...
but I'm so goddamned|intrigued by this guy
I'd just about let him|drop a shovel anywhere.
The plan was perfect.
I had an answer for everything.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Any luck?|- No.
Oh, me neither, man.
I just can't|put a finger on Tout.
You know, the guy thinks|he's a secret agent.
That journal show|he works for-
you know what they call him?
Bells and whistles.
Costumes, face paint, mustaches,|anything to get the story.
Nobody knows who he is.
I don't think they want to.
Evidently our mr. Tout's|a real piece of work.
Something's not right.
It's like we're getting|all the right answers
but from the wrong|stool pigeons.
Do me a favor, all right?
Call cleary brand,|pull Tout's prints.
We're going to cross-check him|against the FBI computer.
You got a visitor.
You'll only have|a few minutes.
Visiting hours are only|until 4:00 p.m.
Any gross conduct
and the visit|will be terminated.
There are families present.
You may hold hands,|you may kiss.
Once again, we ask discretion|with regards to this act.
If you wish|to terminate the visit
just wave|and I'll be over presently.
So what do you got for me?
The locker|south of the clock.
The key is|with the blind man
at the paper stand|under the clock.
He's a friend of mine.
He's there|from 6:00 in the morning
Till 10:00 at night.
And the, uh... the diamonds?
Uh, the gladstone hotel.
Your room's been taken|care of for the month.
They're in a small box
behind the tv.
You'll find them just|next to the cable port.
You have a plan?
I just want to get|the heck out of here.
You know, you should probably do|the same thing.
I mean, get out of the city.
Already taken care of.
Thought I'd try the train.
I guess it's, uh,|the romantic in me.
First class to canada.
The three of us leave tonight.
"The three of us"?
That's too bad.
I mean, uh, I was growing kind|of fond of the little one.
Well... if you|break out in time
I'm... sure she'd love|to say good-bye.
Your eyes are, uh...|they're green.
I could've sworn|they were brown.
Um, your picture...
Kiss her and say good-bye.
Time to go.
Tell tripp I need to see him.
The plan had gone off|without a hitch.
In retrospect, I guess
I really only made one mistake:
I was in love with her,|and I let her go.
What, does my desk|look like a lounge to you?
You got nothing to do?
The FBI called.|Your print search is in.
They're moving him|to Rosedale Mansion.
They got him at|Rosedale Mansion.
Call Critical Jim.
There's a diner|across the street
from the hotel.
You go there just in case.
You don't do anything|unless you hear from me.
And don't improvise.
- What if the guy...?|- Don't!
You'll fuck it up!
You two cheese dicks|couldn't improvise a fart
after eating|a three-bean salad.
Now get the fuck|out of here!
I hope you're sitting down|because you won't believe this.
What is it?
Well, our print search came in
and your mr. Tout hasn't been|behind a video camera
for the past four years.
He's been in front of one.
Under surveillance at a little
maximum security prison|in North Carolina.
You don't say?
may I introduce you|to trevor Finch-
We'll bring him in.
Iook, you don't want me.
You've got three murders|to deal with.
One of them's a friend of mine.
I've got enough evidence|to help you bust these guys.
You just got to hear me out.
Iook at this.
It's limp toast.
Iook at this.
Stuff's fuckin' filthy.
What are you doing?
It's filthy fuck.
It's a fork.
It ain't jewelry.
How'd you like to take a ride
down to union station?
I got to tell you, Finch.
That's one interesting|line of bullshit.
Break out of jail|and fall right into a hit.
I just can't wait to see|where it goes from here.
Oh, what's the name of that
Burt Reynold's picture|with the banjo?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The one with that retarded kid.
He was good, that guy.
Yeah, he was good. He was good.
Cletis Sherman Tout.
Born october 12, 1967.
Christ, it's almost perfect.
I'm comfortable there.
When somebody's trying|to kill you
you go where you feel safe.
You keep your mouth shut
there isn't a safer place|than jail.
And the birds?
The old man's homing pigeons.
Can't really track a bird,|you know?
I had a friend on the outside
trying to get me|out of the country.
Your sexuality is in question.
You decide you're going|to hit for the other side.
You want yourself
some man meat.
I understand that.
But wouldn't you wait|for Burt Reynolds
to come downriver?
Ah. Yeah, you're right.
I mean, who says|to themselves
"hey, I want to bang|that fat guy"?
I think you have|to approach this
from the mountain man's|point of view.
It's a self-esteem issue really.
If you lose your job-
you're not feeling good|about yourself-
you generally|settle for less.
You look for the weaker members|of the herd.
Yeah. Yeah, you hump|the one with the limp.
Yeah, I guess|you could say that.
That ain't right.
You know what kills me?
Virago's going to walk.
He murdered that poor girl,|and you can't make it stick-
tape or no tape.
What are you talking about?
We both know the system.
You know why justice wears|a blindfold-
so she doesn't have to watch.
I mean, justice isn't blind,|it's embarrassed.
I've been in trouble|with the law
ever since I can remember.
Made some mistakes,|but I paid my dues.
Never did anything|to hurt anybody.
You got three bodies|in that morgue.
You're going to get your tape-|your hard evidence
to put Virago away, but once|his attorneys discover
that Tout was a fabrication,|they'll bury it.
I mean, you created Tout-
what other evidence|did you doctor?
I can create any image I want|on a computer.
That's what I went to jail for|in the first place.
And you know they're going|to figure that out.
Wouldn't you rather not|have to deal
with any of that at all?
I'm not the bad guy here.
Let me disappear.
Two months, I would|have made parole anyway.
You take the tape,|you can make it stick.
I only need you|to do one thing-
I need you for once in your life|to look the other way.
Russ, you're not|going to believe
what's on this tape.
Have him send a|couple of units down
to the empire social club.
Send a cruiser to pick me up.
I'll be in front of the diner
across the street.
Hey, listen, Tout...
I'm going to run down|to the diner for some coffee.
Can I get you something|while I'm out?
Not a thing.
They were all there,|the diamonds, all of them.
Tess had left me her half.
She got what she wanted.
She got her picture.
You've all volunteered|for a mission
which gives you|just three ways to go.
You can foul up in training|and be shipped back here
for immediate|execution of sentence
Or you can foul up in combat
in which case I will personally|blow your brains out.
Or you can do as you're told
in which case,|you just might get by.
"The Dirty Dozen."
"M" as in McQueen,|zero- one-two-two
"F" as in Fonda.
"T" as in Tracy,|"K" as in... Kubrick.
You've got 90 minutes,|or I let him go.
What's the word?
He's got him there|at the Gladstone.
So now what?
I wire the money,|he waits for it to clear.
Rowdy Virago,|you're under arrest
for the murder|of Merrill Candide.
Cuff him,|read him his rights.
You have the right|to remain silent.
What's the problem?
It's been 90 minutes.
Why hasn't he killed him yet?
I don't know.
Got to go.
We have a major problem.|We have no ending.
I mean, it's a major flaw.
I love the moral message.
But the two things|that the moviegoer
is going to cry out for|are missing.
- The moviegoer?|- The moviegoer-
John and Jane Q. Public.
First, they're going to want you
to get back with the girl.
But you screwed that up.
And second, they're going|to want some gunplay.
And I can't shoot you,|you're the good guy.
We got to get you out of here
you got to find that girl,|and you got to kill somebody.
What was the room number again?
Eight. Fuck. Number eight.
Eight, I got it.
I got it!
You can kill me.
That's not going to work.
You have got to disappear.
We need to figure out...
this is perfect, perfect.
What are you doing?
Two guys are coming|through that door.
I want you to kill them.
- Who?|- Just a couple of guys.
The guy with the hair,|he's got the gun.
I'm not killing anybody.
You're going to kill them
otherwise I'm going to kill you.
Is that what you want?
Great, it's a festival piece!
What kind of a hero are you?
Cut me loose, cut me loose.
What time is it?
You got about 30 minutes, buddy.
Fix yourself up.
Look, you're the leading man.
Straighten up a little bit.
Listen to me,|trains to canada
Leave out of Union Station
On tracks one and three.
What about the diamonds?
Well, I really only need one.
Ah, well, maybe
a few more|so we can get started.
Buy a big house.
You got 29 minutes.
"I love you.
"You belong to me.
I know people|don't belong to people."
"Of course they do."
"Breakfast at Tiffany's,"|Paramount, 1961.