Women in Black The
Well, Nick the Dick.|What a surprise.
Whereyou coming from, Nick?
Fishing in Cuernavaca.
Sureyou are.|Let's take a look atyour catch.
Me? I would've thrown them back.
What doyou get?|1 00 bucks a head? 200?
Hopeyou saved it all foryour lawyer.|You are gonna need it.
We'll take it from here.
Who the hell areyou?
I.N.S., Division 6.
Division 6?|I never heard of Division 6.
Whoyou gotyour money on, Dee?
Tough call, Kay.
- We've got a winner here.|- Oh, I know.
Don't "sir" me, young man. You have|no idea whoyou're dealing with.
We're going to chat with our friend.|You can hit the road.
Keep on protecting us|from the dangerous aliens.
You ever hear of Division 6?
There is no Division 6.
- This is bullshit.|- Hell, yeah.
Looks likeyou fell off the bus|in the wrong part oftown, amigo.
I'll bet dollars to pesos|you're not from anywhere near here.
When did they letyou out ofjail?
Political refugee. Right.
You know how many treaties|youjust violated?
- One!|- Try seven.
That's enough, Mikey.|You hand me that head.
Put upyour arms|and all your flippers.
Was not human. I know.|You got some entrails on you, pal.
What the hell?
The situation's under control.|Calm down, please.
Give meyour attention for a moment.|I'll tell you what happened.
This is called a neuralizer.
It's a gift from some friends|from out oftown.
This red eye isolates...
the electronic impulses in your brains,|specifically memory.
Fellas, give me a splay burn around|the perimeterwith holes...
at 40, 60 and 80 meters|from right here. Thankyou.
- What in the hell is going on?|- Excellent question.
The answeryou're looking for|lies right here.
Who areyou, really?
I am just a figment|ofyour imagination.
Damn, what a gullible breed.
I'm serious, fellas. You're lucky|to be alive after a blast like that.
- What blast?|- The underground gas vein, genius.
You should exercise a lot more|caution before fi ring.
I'll tell you that right now.|Especiallyyou.
Haveyourselves checked out|with E.M.S. beforeyou leave.
I'm sorry about back there.
Didn't used to.
The spirit's willing, Kay, but...
the rest of me--
They're beautiful, aren't they?
We neverjust look anymore.
I'll tell you, Kay...
I will miss the chase.
I will miss the chase.
All yours, Edwards.
Freeze means stop!
What the hell?
It just be raining black people|in New York.
Do you see this?
It means I will knock|your punk-ass down!
Yeah, and when he gets here,|I'll arrest his ass too.
You trying to catch a beat down?
He's coming because I failed.|Now he'll kill me.
You pissing everybody off today, huh?
You don't understand.
Your world's going to end.
What the hell areyou?
Watch that ledge.|Watch it.
Come down. We'll get those eyes fixed.|Don't even worry about it.
Wait a minute.|Let me talk toyou!
Igo out. I work mybuttoff|tomakealiving.
All I wantis to comehome|toanice cleanhouse...
with anice fat steak|on the table...
but instead l get this.|Looks like poison.
butinsteadlget this.|Looks like poison.
Don't you take that away!|I'm eating that, damnit!
It is poison, isn't it?
I swear to God,|I wouldn't be surprised if it was...
the way you skulk around|like a dog been hit too much.
Or ain't been hit enough!|l can't make up my mind.
You're useless, Beatrice.
The only thing that pulls its weight|around here is my goddamn truck!
What the heck is it, Edgar?
Get your big butt|back in the house.
Place projectile weapon|on the ground.
You can have my gun...
when you pry it|from my cold, dead fi ngers.
Your proposal is acceptable.
Edgar, what on earth was that?
I've never seen sugar do that.
Give me sugar.
Your skin is hanging|offyour bones.
Is that better?
"The perpetrator then blinked|two sets ofeyelids."
You mean blinked with both eyes?
No, sir. He blinked one set,|then a completely different set.
You know, like high beams|and low beams.
Was that before...
or after he drew the weapon thatyou|claim evaporated into a million pieces?
Why is it that no other officers|saw either ofthese events?
Some other officers are soggy|around the midsection.
I guess that's why|they couldn't keep up.
Ifyou were halfthe man I am--
What the hell?|I am half the man thatyou are.
- What is your problem?|- You being all up in my damn face.
- I think he threw him off the roof.|- Maybeyou're next.
- I want to talk toyou. Now.|- Ten minutes, takeyour best shot.
Take ten minutes on a Stairmaster,|you pudgy bastard.
I believeyou.|Laurel Weaver, Deputy Medical Examiner.
Find me at the morgue on 26th.|I'll showyou.
Wait a minute!
You're Dr. Weaverwith the coroner's|office working on theJohn Doe?
- Yes, that's right.|- Will you look at this, please?
Some night, huh?
Yeah, some night.
Theywere gills, not eyelids.
Gills.|He was out ofbreath.
Did he say anything toyou?
Yeah, the world was coming to an end.
Did he saywhen?
Would you recognize his weapon|ifyou saw it again?
Come on. Let's take a ride.
Wait a minute.|Look, I got tons ofpaperwork--
- Right. It's all done.|- Good work, Edwards.
You really ran this dude down on foot?|That's tough, kid.
That's double tough.
So who exactly are you with?
So who exactly are you with?
I'm partofabureau|thatlicenses, monitors andpolices...
alien activity|on the planet Earth.
- This is where we're going?|- Yeah.
This isJackJeebs' spot.|He buys from chain snatchers.
- He doesn't even sell guns.|- Really?
All right, look.
I'll slide in and put my thing down.|But when I come out I want answers.
Go put your thing down.
How did these get here? I thought|I turned them in to the authorities.
The way I hear ityou're into|something hotter than stolen Rolexes.
I'm a huge crack dealer now,|but I work here as I love the hours.
I'm talking about guns, smart ass.
- Weird ones.|- Come on. Whatyou see is what I got.
Why don'tyou|show him the imports,Jeebs?
- Hiya, Kay. How areyou?|- Show him the imports right now.
I got out ofthat business|a long time ago.
- Why doyou lie to me? I hate it.|-Just hold on a second.
- I'm gonna count to three.|- He'll do it,Jeebs.
- One...|- That man does not look stable.
- He's crazywhen he's like this.|- He's always crazy.
Why don'tyou get a massage?|Take a cruise.
- Drop the weapon. Hands on your head!|- I warned him.
- Drop it! Don't make me kill you.|- You warned him.
You insensitive prick!
Doyou have any idea|how much that stings?
Show us the merchandise|oryou'll lose another head,Jeebs.
Right there.|The one in the middle.
You sold a reverberating carbonizer|with mutate capacity...
to an unlicensed cephlapoid!|Jeebs, you piece of--
He looked all right to me.
- Assassination. Who's the target?|- I don't know.
- Goddamn it,Jeebs!|- I don't know!
All that's confiscated.
I wantyou on the next transport|off this rock...
or I'll shoot you|where it don't grow back.
And I'm going to be back to talk|about them Rolexes.
Searching for a handle|on the moment?
I can't helpyou.
The only comfort I can offer...
is my promise that tomorrow morning|you won't remember a thing.
That's not exactly|some shityoujust forget.
Ever seen one ofthese?
She looks over to her husband...
then sets it back down|in her lap and says...
" Honey, this one's eating my popcorn."
- Yeah.|- " Eating my popcorn."
Gotta go.|Thanks for the egg rolls, kid.
Wait a minute.
See what I mean about tequila?|You're a bright young man,James.
But you need to lay off the sauce.|I'll see you bright and early, 9:00.
or be square.
Well, well, well.
Moving right in, are we?|Thinkwe own the place?
I got an eviction notice|foryou boys.
Just what exactly doyou think|you're doing here?
Taking care of your pest problem.
Yeah, you got|a hell ofan infestation.
You know, I've noticed|an infestation here.
Everywhere I look in fact.
Nothing but undeveloped, unevolved,|barely conscious pond scum...
totally convinced|oftheir own superiority...
as they scurry about their short...
Don'tyou want to get rid ofthem?
In the worst way.
This dude gave me this card--
You're late. Sit down.
My name is Zed.
You're all here becauseyou're|the best ofthe best.
Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs,|Army Rangers, N.Y.P.D.
And we're looking|for one ofyou.
What will follow is a series|ofsimple tests...
for motor skills,|concentration, stamina.
I see we have a question.
I'm sorry,|maybeyou already answered this but...
why exactly are we here?
Second Lieutenant Jake Jensen.|West Point. Graduate with honors.
We're here becauseyou want|the best ofthe best ofthe best, sir!
What's so funny, Edwards?
Your boy, Captain America, here.
"The best ofthe best|ofthe best, sir!"
He'sjust really excited,|and he has no clue whywe're here.
That's very funny to me.
Y'all ain't laughing, though.
Okay, let's get going.
Want to get down on this?
Edwards, what the hell happened?
May I askwhyyou felt|little Tiffany deserved to die?
She was the only one that actually|seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
How'd you decide that?
First, I was going to pop this guy|hanging from the streetlight...
but I realized|he'sjust working out.
How'd I feel ifsomebody bust me|in my ass while I'm on the treadmill?
Then I saw|this snarling beast guy...
and I noticed he had a tissue|in his hand and realized...
he's not snarling, he's sneezing.
Ain't no real threat there.
Then I saw Tiffany.
I'm thinking, eight-year-old white girl,|middle ofthe ghetto...
bunch ofmonsters at night|with quantum physics books.
She about to start some shit, Zed.
She's about eight. Those books are|way too advanced for her.
Ifyou ask me,|she's up to something.
Honestly, I'd appreciate it|ifyou eased up off my back about it.
Or do I owe her an apology?
That was a good shot though, right?
He's got a real problem|with authority.
So do l.
But this kid ran down a cephlapoid|on foot, boss.
That's got to be tough enough.
Let's hopeyou know|whatyou're doing.
Congratulations.|You're all we've come to expect...
from years|ofgovernment training.
Ifyou'll just follow me,|we have one more test. An eye exam.
Where areyou going?
Hey, man, what the hell|is all this?
In the mid-1 950s the government|started an underfunded agency...
with the simple and laughable purpose|ofestablishing contact...
with a race not ofthis planet.
Look directly at the end|ofthis device.
Everyone thought the agencywas ajoke,|except the aliens...
who made contact March 2, 1 961 ,|outside New York.
There were nine ofus|the fi rst night.
Seven agents, one astronomer...
and one dumb kid who got lost|on the wrong back road.
Oh, you brought|that tall man some flowers.
They were a group|ofintergalactic refugees.
Wanted Earth for an apolitical zone|for creatures without a planet.
Did you ever see "Casablanca"?
Same thing, except no Nazis.
We agreed and concealed|all the evidence oftheir landing.
So these are real flying saucers...
and the World's Fair|was a cover-up for their landing?
Why else hold it in Queens?
More nonhumans arrive everyyear|and live among us in secret.
Look, I'm sorry.|Not to change the subject...
but when was the last time|you had a CAT scan?
Six months ago.|It's company policy.
Make another appointment.
Tell your boyZed|I had an absolutelywonderful time...
and thankyou for everything|but show me the door.
All right. I'm going to get some coffee.|You want some coffee?
No, thankyou, I'm fi ne.
Howyou doing, fellas?
- Shit!|- Okay.
- That's not decaf, is it?|- Viennese cinnamon.
Don't tell me we only got powdered stuff|for cream. I hate that stuff.
Well, that's good.|Good. Good.
You guys getting along all right?
Don't work too hard.
So, you guys seen|the cahuengas on--
Sureyou don't want coffee?
Cahuengas, yeah,|but how about the zapoata?
All right, kid,|here's the deal.
At any given time there are|around 1 ,500 aliens on the planet.
Most ofthem|right here in Manhattan.
Most ofthem are decent enough.|Just trying to make a living.
- Cab drivers.|- Not as many as you'd think.
Humans, for the most part, don't have|a clue. Don't want or need one.
They're happy. They think|they have a good bead on things.
Why the big secret? People are smart.|They can handle it.
A person is smart.
People are dumb, panicky,|dangerous animals. You know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago,|everybody knew...
the Earth was the center|ofthe universe.
Five hundred years ago,|everybody knew the Earth was flat.
And fifteen minutes ago, you knew|that people were alone on this planet.
Imagine whatyou'll know...
- What's the catch?|- The catch.
The catch is you will sever|every human contact.
Nobody will ever know|you exist anywhere.
I'll give you to sunrise|to think it over.
Is it worth it?
Yeah, it's worth it...
if you're strong enough.
What's up, pops?
All right, I'm in...
because there's some next-level shit|going on here, and I'm with that.
But beforey'all beam me up,|there's a few things to understand.
First off, you chose me...
soyou recognize the skills.
I don't want nobody calling me "son"|or "kid" or "sport." Cool?
What ever you say, slick.
But I need to tell you something|about all your skills.
As of right now...
As of right now...
they mean precisely...
- Purpose of trip?|- Diplomatic mission.
- Duration of stay?|- Lunch.
Any fruits orvegetables?
You want to stay away|from that guy.
Three-hour delay in customs|after a 1 7 trillion mile trip...
gonna make anybody cranky.|Right?
What branch ofthe government|do we report to?
- None, they ask too many questions.|- So who pays for all this?
We hold patents on a few gadgets|we confiscated from the visitors.
Velcro, microwave ovens, liposuction.
This is a fascinating little gadget.
It'll replace CDs soon.
Guess I'll have to buy|the "White Album" again.
That's fun.|It's a universal translator.
We're not even supposed to have it.|I'll tell you why.
Human thought is so primitive|it's looked upon...
as an infectious disease|in some ofthe better galaxies.
That kind ofmakes you proud,|doesn't it?
Just be calm.
Watch your head!
Somebody get him some ice.
Move!Just move|when it's coming atyou!
I'm going to pay for that!
This thing caused|the 1 977 New York blackout.
Practical joke by the Great Attractor.
He thought it was funny as hell.
It was a accident.|Sorry.
Observation,|the heart ofour little endeavor.
Meet the twins Blblup and Bob.
This map shows the location|ofevery registered alien on Earth...
at any given time.|Some are under constant surveillance.
Everyone on those screens is an alien.
In public, they're normal as you are,|but in private, well...
You'll get the idea.
Doesn't make any sense, does it?
Well, no,|it makes perfect sense.
When I was in third grade,|everyone said I was crazy...
but I knew our teacherwas|from Venus or something like that.
Ms. Edelson.Jupiter, actually.|Well, one ofthe moons.
be quiet and pay attention!
If l have to tellyou|onemore time--
Let's put it on.
Put what on?
The last suityou'll everwear.
You will dress only in attire|specially sanctioned...
by MIB special services.
You'll conform to theidentity|we giveyou.
Eat where we tell you.|Live where we tell you.
you'll have noidentifying marks|of any kind.
You'll not stand out|in any way.
Your entire imageis craftedtoleave...
no lasting memory|with any one you encounter.
You are arumor...
recognizable only as deja vu|and dismissed just as quickly.
You don't exist.|You were never even born.
Anonymity is yourname.|Silence, your native tongue.
You're nolonger part of the system.
You're above the system.|Overit. Beyondit.
We're "them. " We're "they. "
We are the Menin Black.
You know what the difference is|between you and me?
I make this look good.
We're going to go for a ride.
I'll put you down here for a minute|then Daddy will be right back.
Okay, now we're ready|to go for a little ride.
We're going to meet|with Daddy's friend whoyou'll like.
we've got the deposed sur-prefect|ofSingalee...
touching down in the forest|outside Portland tonight.
- Humanoid?|- You wish. Bring a sponge.
And here.|Red letter from last night.
We had an unauthorized landing|somewhere in upstate New York.
Kay, keepyour ears open|on this one.
We're not hosting|an intergalactic kegger down here.
Well, we got a skimmer.
Landed alien out ofzone.|Who is it?
He's not cleared|to leave Manhattan...
but he's way out oftown now,|stuck on the NewJerseyTurnpike.
Why don'tyou takejuniorwith you?
This is a good one|for him to warm up on.
Go get him, tiger.
"We're not hosting|an intergalactic kegger."
Unlimited technology|from the whole universe...
and we cruise around|in a Ford P.O.S.
Fasten your seat belt.
We got to work|on your people skills.
You'd get a much better reaction|ifyou were more polite.
- Fasten your seat belt, please.|- Good. Did you hurtyourself?
Oh, the red button there.|Don't ever, ever touch it.
All right, pop,|that'll be $72 there.
Okay, sweetie,|let me pay the impolite driver.
Six is up!
- Where is lvan?|- Gave him a break.
You can kill us both,|butyou will not fi nd the galaxy.
You're right about one thing.
You're not going anywhere, pal.
What's going on?
I'd like to see|your license and registration, please.
Like to seeyour other license|and registration, please.
You're restricted to Manhattan.|Where areyou going, Redgie?
It's mywife.|She's-- Well, look.
All right. No big deal.
Okay, you come with me, Redge.
And you handle this.
It's easy.|Youjust catch.
- He knows what he's doing?|- He does it all the time.
Let the man work.
Damn, man! So--|Something's peaking!
Croagg the midwife is|at 54th and Madison.
You're headed out oftown.|What's going on?
- We're meeting someone.|- Whoyou meeting?
It's a ship.
I saw no departure clearance|for today.
- You didn't?|- No.
- It's an emergency.|- Kay! Kay!
- You're doing fi ne, ace.|- Kiss my ass!
What kind ofemergency?|What's the rush to get off the planet?
Excuse me, miss.
Wejust don't like|the neighborhood anymore.
Some ofthe new arrivals.
New arrivals? Have anything to do|with the crash last night?
Excuse me, miss!
Congratulations, Redge.|It's a...
actually kind of...
Anything about that|seem unusual toyou?
What would scare Redgick so badly|he'd risk a warpjump with a newborn?
We'll check the hot sheets.
These are the hot sheets?
Best investigative reporting|on the planet.
Read the " New YorkTimes" ifyou want.|They get lucky sometimes.
I cannot believe you're looking|for tips in the supermarket tabloids.
Not looking for.
Wait, slow down.
Give her time to get the wrong|impression. Makes things smoother.
Can I helpyou, gentlemen?
Yes, ma'am. I'm Agent Manheim,|this is Agent Black, with the F.B.I.
We'd like to talk aboutyourvisitor.
You here to make fun ofme too?
We at the F.B.I. do not have a sense|ofhumorwe're aware of. Maywe come in?
- Thankyou.|- Lemonade?
Oh, yes, please.
The chiefofpolicehimselfcome|up to thehouse...
and did a full-out|professional investigation.
Took a police report|and writ down everything I said...
from A to Z,|not believing one thing I said.
Sort ofpoking fun at me.
Then they asked,|"lfhe was murdered...
how was he able to walk|back in the house?"
I gotta admit toyou|that one got me sorta stumped.
But I know Edgar|and that wasn't Edgar.
It was like|something was wearing Edgar.
Like a suit.
An Edgar suit.
Dude was that ugly|before he was an alien.
I come to and he's gone.
- Did he say anything?|- Yes.
He asked me for some water.
- Sugarwater?|- Yeah, I remember that right.
'Cause I thought that was odd.
That he asked me for sugarwater|and not lemonade or ice water or...
All right, Beatrice.|There was no alien.
The flash oflightyou saw|in the sky was not a U.F.O.
Swamp gas from a weather balloon|was trapped in a thermal pocket...
and refracted the light from Venus.
Wait a minute.|You flash that thing...
it erases her memory|and youjust make up a new one?
A standard-issue neuralizer.
That weak-ass story is|the bestyou can come up with?
On a more personal note,|Edgar ran offwith an old girlfriend.
You'll go staywith your mom|a couple nights.
You'll get over it|and decideyou're better off.
Yeah, because he never|appreciated you anyway.
In fact, you know what?
You kicked him out.|And now that he's gone...
you'll go into town,|fi nd yourself some nice dresses.
Get your self some shoes.|Find somewhere you could get a facial.
hire a decorator|to come here quick because, damn!
Yo, Kay, check it out.|When do I get my own flashy...
memory messer-upper thing?
When you grow up.
Please, not green.
I don't supposeyou know|what kind ofalien life-form...
Ieaves a green spectral trail|and craves sugarwater?
Wait. That was|on " FinaIJeopardy" last night.
- Damn, Alex said it was--|- Zed, we have a bug.
What?|We don't like bugs?
Bugs thrive on carnage, tiger.
They consume, infest, destroy, live off|the destruction ofother species.
- You were stung as a child, right?|- Listen, kid.
Imagine a giant cockroach|with unlimited strength...
a massive inferiority complex,|and a real short temper...
is tear-assing around Manhattan lsland|in a brand-new Edgar suit.
Sound like fun?
What's the move?
With the bug in town,|we'll watch the morgues.
Where doyou want|contestant number three?
Just leave it there.
What's with the cat?
There's a problem with the cat.|Sign here.
- What's the problem with the cat?|- It's your problem.
I hate the living.
Oh, my God!
Buddy, what areyou?
Subject was approximately 1 1 2 degrees|at time ofautopsy...
indicating an increase|in body temperature.
Examiner tried|to verify this rectally...
only to fi nd the subject was|without rectum.
- Which is, needless to say, really--|- Weird.
I'm Dr. Leo Manville,|Department of Public Health.
This is Dr. White.
You boys must not have|much ofa home life.
We watch the morgues very carefully.|Seen something unusual?
I'd say so.|Triple homicide.
The first body was pretty normal,|except he was broken in half.
The first body was pretty normal,|except he was broken in half.
But when I opened up|the other two, well-- Let me showyou.
There's a skeletal structure|unlike any I've ever seen before.
I'll look at it.
Dr. White, why don'tyou and Dr. Weaver|check out the other body?
This way, Doctor.
This one's even stranger.
I did a full laparotomy.
I began with the stomach. We can start|with the gastroesophageal junction.
Let's start|whereveryou started at.
- Your cat?|- Guess it is now.
It came in with the body.|Dive right in.
I'm sure he won't mind.
You have really pretty eyes.
Where the pyloricjunction would be?|Push it aside.
Notice anything strange?|Stomach, liver, lungs?
No, all fi ne.
Doctor, they're all missing.
That's obviously the fi rst thing|I noticed.
What I was pointing out is the fact|that there are no...
You know, so they're intact.
Wherever they are. Whole, somewhere.|That we can be sure of.
Have we met before?
I'm having the strangest feeling|ofdeja vu.
- Yeah, me too.|- Really?
Okay, you want to know|what I really think?
But don't tell him,|he's under enough stress.
I don't think it's a real body.
I think it's some kind oftransport unit|for something else altogether.
The question is, what?
Is this freaking you out?
You know what I like to do sometimes|when it's late?
What doyou think?
Very interesting. She got a real|Queen-of-the-Undead thing going--
- Of the body.|- Great body.
The dead body.
Man, you have to look|at that thing.
You recognize him?
Yeah, he looks like the big guy I saw|down at headquarters, only deader.
What doyou think killed him?
- A bug?|- Dr. White.
You're up, slugger.
Look at this.
What the hell is that?
It's okay.|What are you trying to say?
What is word?
"To prevent war|the galaxy is on Orion's belt."
What the hell|does that mean?
- whatever, come here!|- Dr. "Whatever"?
You guys aren't really from|the Department of Health, areyou?
The Arquillians will not like this.|He was one ofthe royal family.
I knew it.|This is an alien.
And you're from some government agency|trying to keep it underwraps.
He said, "To prevent war,|the galaxy is on Orion's belt."
This makes total sense.|How else doyou explain New York?
The other day I was|in this cab and this guy--
"Galaxy on Orion's belt"|doesn't make sense.
That's what the little dude|inside the big dude's head said. Right?
Damn, man.|You did the flashy thing already.
Whoeveryou are, you have to show l.D.|ifyou're gonna be in the morgue.
Ofcourse, young lady.|Look at this for me, please.
- Would you stop that?|- What?
That thing is gonna give her|brain cancer or something.
Never hurt her before.|We have to close all the doors here.
Special Services will be here|any minute.
" Before"! How many times haveyou|flashy-thinged that poorwoman?
- No worries about no long-term damage?|- Little.
- Haveyou ever flashy-thinged me?|- No.
- I ain't playing with you! Haveyou?|- No.
I think I should be in charge|ofthe flashy thing department.
Not while I'm around, ace.
You won't be happy till you fricassee|someone's brain out.
We got two dead aliens|and a Deputy Medical Examiner...
- that needs a new memory.|- Yes, sir.
Make it a happy memory.
Where is it?
Doesn't anyone ever get|any sleep around here?
The twins keep us on Centaurian time.|It's a 37-hour day.
Give it a few months, you'll get used|to it. Or have a psychotic episode.
It's a grouping ofthe brightest stars|in the northern sky.
- And here's Orion's belt.|- That's what the little guy said.
"To prevent war,|the galaxy is on Orion's belt."
Junior, there are no galaxies|on Orion's belt.
The belt isjust these three stars.
Galaxies are huge.|They're made up ofbillions ofstars.
You heard wrong.
Look, whatever,|I know what I heard.
The grumpy guy's story is starting|to come into focus a little bit here.
You were the guy in the picture|you showed me with the flowers.
And, I take it,|she never got those flowers.
So, what, she ever get|married or anything?
You know what they say.
"lt's better to have loved and lost|than never to have loved at all."
Take a look at this.
My God, they're all leaving.
We've had 1 2 jump in the last hour.|Redgickwasjust the fi rst.
What do they know that we don't?
Why does a rat desert a ship?
Give me Lem Sat 4 with a proton|induction thermoscan, please.
Thankyou. Okay.|Lem Sat 1 8.
All right, 4,000.
- That's an Arquillian battle cruiser.|- We've got a dead Arquillian prince.
Speak ofthe devil.
They sound pissed.
Boys, translate that.|Step on it.
Go to Rosenberg'sjewelry store|and see whatyou can turn up.
Give the kid a weapon.
- Series 4 de-atomizer.|- That's what I'm talking about.
Kay, no, no,|come on, man.
You get a Series 4 de-atomizer...
I get a midget cricket?
Feel like I'm going|to break this damn thing.
Hey, this is my truck!
Make sureyou tell them that|down at the impound.
Who breaks into ajewelry store|and leaves all thejewels?
Somebody not looking forjewelry.
He had a serious crush on his cat.
That's him. That's the bug!
In the Edgar suit!
We do not discharge ourweapons|in view ofthe public!
We ain't got time|for this cover-up bullshit!
Haveyou forgotten?|There's an alien battle cruiser--
There's always an alien battle cruiser|or a Korilian death ray...
or an intergalactic plague|about to wipe out life on this planet.
The onlyway people get on|with their happy lives...
is they do not know about it!
Don't worry about the bug.
He's not leaving town.|We've got his ship.
Zed, we need a containment crew...
on MacDougaIStreet|south ofHouston.
Containment may be a moot point, friend.|The exodus continues.
It's like the party's over and the last|one to leave gets stuckwith the check.
You sorry little ingrates!
We've only translated part|ofthe message so far:
- " Deliver the galaxy."|- They don't wantmuch, do they?
Oh, it gets better.
They hold us responsible.
Where doyou keepyour dead?
I don't have any dead.
I don't know.
The city morgue?
That's three for a dollar, sir!
It was some light that refracted|off ofVenus...
into some swamp gas...
and that's what made the--
All right, kid!
Excuse me.|What's up?
The Arquillians want the galaxy,|whatever the hell that means.
We need help, a professional.
Somebodywith years ofexperience|in intergalactic politics.
I just hope the little prick|hasn't skipped town.
That's right, move in closer.|That's good.
That's the worse disguise ever.|He's obviously an alien.
You don't like it,|you can kiss my furry little butt.
You busy, Frank?
Can't talk now.|My flight's leaving in--
- Getyour paws off me!|- Call the pound! We got a stray.
The dog owes my friend money.
Arquillians and bugs, Frank,|what doyou know?
- Nothing.|- Nothing?
Stop it. Stop it.|Okay. Okay.
Rosenberg wasn't some|two-bit Arquillian.
He was the guardian ofa whole galaxy.|They thought he'd be safe on Earth.
The bug had other plans.
The galaxy is the best source|for subatomic energy in the universe.
Ifthe bugs get their slimy claws on it,|kiss the Arquillians good-bye.
Ask about the belt.
Rosenberg mentioned a galaxy|on Orion's belt.
- What's he mean?|- Beats me.
They're rehearsing|a ventriloquist act.
The galaxy is here!
What doyou mean "here"?
Galaxy's millions ofstars and planets.|How's it here?
You humans!|When will you learn size doesn't matter?
Just because something's important,|doesn't mean it's not very small.
- How small?|- Tiny. Like a marble or ajewel.
If you'll excuse me,|I gotta be walked before my flight.
All right.|Get out ofhere.
If the galaxy's here,|it's not on Orion's belt.
Boy, when you want attention--
That's a pretty name.
Yes, good, thankyou.
Thank you for making sure|the bell works.
What's up, FarmerJohn?
A man came in here earlier.
A dead man.
And that means what to me?
It was a very dear friend ofmine.
I believe he had|an animal with him.
It was a gift I gave him.|A pet cat.
It means worlds to me.
I'd like to have it back.
I'm gonna need|a picture l.D...
written proof|ofownership ofthe cat...
notarized proofofkinship with...
Don't do that.
Don't do it.
- Look, Kay, let me handle this one.|- What?
All we gotta do is get a cat.|It's not really that hard.
But if you go in,|you'll layy our JackWebb on her.
Flash your brain ray all in her face.|She'll wind up with leukemia.
She's a doctor. She don't need you|flashing away her med school classes.
- Five minutes.|- Two minutes.
- Where's the animal?|- I told you I don't know.
Let's see ifwe can fi nd it.
- How you doing?|- Hello.
I'm Sergeant Friday,|from the 26th precinct.
A cat came in with a corpse|the other day.
- "Orion" on the name tag.|- Yes, that's right.
This cat is a...
a witness in a murder case.
I'm gonna need to take him,|ask him a few questions.
- I don't know where the cat is.|- You don't?
No, but maybeyou could|take me with you instead.
Damn, you do start fast,|don'tyou?
I'd really like to go with you...
And exactlywhy is that?
There's something|I need to showyou.
Slow down, girl.|You ain't got to hit the gas like that.
You don't understand.|You really need to see this.
I will, I will. One thing, I got|to drive. It's not some macho trip.
I'm saying|that's the way I get down.
Look, stud,|you're really not getting this.
There's something|I need you to help me with.
- Freeze it, bug!|- Christ, you are thick!
- How was I to know?|- Should I have sung it foryou?
If you weren't coming on like--
That is so typical. A woman shows|a hint ofsexual independence--
- Shut up!|- Let her go, shiteater.
Compared toyou humans, I'm on the top|rung ofthe evolutionary ladder.
- So can it.|- You're breaking my heart.
Show meyour face|and I'll cure all your ills.
Ever pull wings off a fly?|Care to see the fly get even?
How far can you go with no ship?
If that's what you call that space trash|we got locked in the office.
- Putyourweapons down!|- Never going to happen, insect.
- It's okay.|- How is it okay?
I'm saying it's going to be okay.
Don't bet on it, meat sack.
Let me go!
- Take me here.|- No way.
He's in a cab!
Don't move! Don't move!|Don't move!
Hey, man, what?
He's not leaving the planet in a cab.|Let's go.
Come with me. Put up a bio-net|all the way around Manhattan.
If it's not human,|I don't want it to leave this island.
What do we hear from|our friends upstairs?
Same thing.|" Deliver the galaxy."
The bug has the galaxy but we have|his ship. He's looking for a way out.
Warning. Protonic fusion detection.
What the hell|they shooting at us for?
Battle rules, kid.|First, we get an ultimatum...
then a warning shot, then a galactic|standard week to respond.
A galactic standard week?|How long is that?
Kid, to keep the bugs from getting it,|the Arquillians will destroy the galaxy.
And whatever planet it's on.
- You're talking about us.|- Sucks, huh?
I'm getting the location ofevery|interstellarvehicle within 1 00 miles.
I already did.|Frank took the last ship.
- Snedens Landing and Throg's Neck.|- They're gone.
- Atlantic City.|- Adios.
- Bayonne?|- Gone.
- There's Three Mile lsland.|- Gone.
- Y'all.|- Staten lsland?
- Gone, thank God.|- Fellas!
We're running out oftime.|Ifthe bug leaves with the galaxy--
Hey, old guys!
Do those still work?
- You're coming with me.|- What?
It's a long trip.|I'll need a snack.
It's a long trip.|I'll need a snack.
Wait, the tunnel?
- You know a betterway to Queens?|- It's gonna be packed.
- Remember the little red button?|- Yeah.
Push the red button.
You maywant to wear a seat belt.
You're much too tense.|You're a young man.
You need to relax.|Learn to take somejoy in yourwork.
You like music?
You do know Elvis is dead?
No, Elvis is not dead.|Hejust went home.
You don't want to eat me.|I'm important on my planet. A queen!
A goddess, even.|There are those who worship me.
I'm not trying to impress you.Just|letting you know it could start a war!
Good, war. That means more food|for my family. All 78 million ofthem.
- That's a lot ofmouths to feed.|- Wonderful, but I'm staying here!
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
Roaches check in.
But they don't check out.
Eightminutes|to the destruction ofEarth.
Eightminutes to destruction.
We'll use pulsar level 5,|with a sub-sonic implosion factor.
Just shoot the damn thing|on the count ofthree. One...
You don't get it!
You milk suckers!
You don't matter.
In a few seconds,|you won't even be matter.
You're under arrest forviolating|sections ofthe Tycho Treaty.
So hand overwhatever galaxy|you are carrying and step away...
from your busted-ass vehicle|and putyour hands on your head.
I'll put my hands...
on my head.
That did not go at all|how I'd planned.
What ever happens,|don't let him on the second ship.
- What are you talking about?|- Keep him on this planet.
Kay, where areyou going?
I'm getting my gun back.
You know how many of your kind|I've swatted with a newspaper?
You're nothing but a smear|on the sports page to me...
you slimy, gut-sucking,|intestinal parasite!
Youjust going to eat and run, huh?|What about dessert?
Where you going?|This party's just getting started.
Where're you going?
Where you going?
There's one way off this planet, baby,|and that's through me.
Why you runnin', huh?
I'm still standing.
Come on. Bring it.|Bring it.
I'm sorry.|Was thatyour auntie?
That must mean|that's your uncle, huh?
You knowyou all look alike.
Big bad bug got a bit|ofa soft spot, huh?
What I can't understand|is whyyou...
got to come down here|bringing all this ruckus.
Snatching up galaxies and everything.
My attitude is, don't start nothing,|won't be nothing.
You need to ease up out my face|before something bad happen toyou.
Call the Arquillians.|Tell them we have the galaxy.
Going to getyour gun back, huh?
I like this gun.
While you were in there playing around,|I was here doing all the work.
First, I had to bean him in the head|with this big rock.
Then I was going to hit him|with a two-by-four.
He kicked me.|You know, it hurt.
Then I got the fi re.|I was "yah" with the fi re.
Not bad for your second day|ofwork, is it?
This definitely rates about a 9.0|on my weird-shit-o-meter.
Should've been here|for the Zeronion migration in 1 968.
I guess you weren't|even alive in '68.
Interesting job you guys have.
Look, I know we got rules|and everything, but...
she did help us bust that bug.|Maybe we don't have to flashy thing her.
Come on. Who she gonna tell?|She hang out with all dead people.
It's not for her.
It's for me.
They're beautiful, aren't they?
I never look at them anymore,|but they actually are quite...
Kay, you're frightening|your partner.
I haven't been training a partner.|I've been training a replacement.
Wait a minute, Kay.
I cannot do thisjob by myself.
Hey, guys.|My apartment isn't anywhere near here.
It's not even|on the same island.
Always face it forward.
I've just been down the gullet|ofan interstellar cockroach, kid.
That's one ofa hundred memories|that I don't want.
See you around,Jay.
Zed called. The Solaxiant 9 consulate|wants floor seats for the Knicks game.
Put in a call for Dennis Rodman,|he's from that planet.
Rodman? You're kidding.
Not much of a disguise.
Wag The Dog
Waga seishun ni kuinashi 1946
Wait Until Dark CD1
Wait Until Dark CD2
Waking Ned Devine (1998)
Waking Ned Divine
Waking Up In Reno
Walk On The Moon A 1999
Walk To Remember A
Walk on Water
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WarGames (1983) CD1
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War Game The
War Game The (author commentary)
War Hunt 1962
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Washington Heights (2002)
Water Drops on Burning Rock
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Way We Were The
Way of the Gun The
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We Are No Angels 1989
We Dont Live Here Anymore
We Were Soldiers
Weapon of War CD1
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Wedding Planner The
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Weekend Godard 1967
Weekend at Bernies II
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Weird Science CD1
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Welcome Back Mr McDonald 1997
Welcome To Mooseport
Welcome to Collinwood (2002)
Welcome to Sarajevo
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Wes Cravens New Nightmare
West Side Story CD1
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West Wing The
Whale Rider 2002
Whales Of August The 1987
What About Bob (1991)
What Dreams May Come CD1 1998
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What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD1
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What Lies Beneath CD1
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What Planet Are You From
What Price Glory
What Women Want
What Women Want CD1
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What a Girl Wants
What a Way to Go 1964
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane 1962
Whatever It Takes
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD1
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD2
Whats Love Got To Do With It 1993
Whats New Pussycat
Whats The Worst That Could Happen
Whats Up Doc
Wheels on Meals
When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD1
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When Harry Met Sally
When I Turned Nine 2004 CD1
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When Ruoma Was Seventeen 2002
When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD1
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When Will I Be Loved 2004
When the Rain Lifts 1999
When the Sky Falls
When we were kings
Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (James Neilson 1968)
Where Eagles Dare CD1
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Where The Heart Is
Where the Red Fern Grows 2003
Where the Sidewalk Ends
While You Were Sleeping
Whisper of the Heart
White Fang - To the Rescue
White Man Cant Jump CD1
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White Sheik The
White Sun Of The Desert 1970
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White Valentine 1999
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Who Is Cletis Tout
Who framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Whole Nine Yards The
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Wicked - 29,970fps 1998
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Wicked City - 1973
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Wild Bunch The
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Wizard Of Darkness
Wizard of Oz The CD1
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Women from Mars
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Worst of Ed Wood Boxed Set The